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@@marilynserrano-soto3100 Your question really struck me. I know you are not asking for my opinion, but from one woman to another, for me personally, if a man says you are all he needs--- RUN! If he says all he needs is your love, he’s a keeper. Any man who needs you, in my book, is a man who is not consistently working to be a whole, balanced human being. But that is just me. I don’t want a man to need ME. But I can sure share my love with him and he can sure share his love with me. But again, that is just me. I’ve been married for 15 years and we’ve been together 17 years. The times in our marriage where I “needed” him, for example, were the dark years of our marriage. I can honestly say, my husband never “needed me”, but he needed my love. And because of that, I had to take a deeper look at myself to be sure I was giving him MY love from a place of overflow. I fill my cup (take care of myself emotionally, spiritually, financially, physically) so that what I give him comes from a place of abundance, and not lack. I love myself consistently so that I have so much love to share with him. And he does the same. It is not my job to fulfill him, and it is not his job to fulfill me. And if he needs me to do that for him, he is not operating from a place of wholeness. So that is how I interpret the question you are posing. A man saying, “You’re” all I need comes from a place of lack. But that is just my interpretation.
Choose yourself over anyone that doesn’t value you. It’s hard but keep choosing peace and see him/her come and apologies but never chase. I always practise choosing peace that’s where your power is. Be strong and be ready to face challenges and be positive mindset.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks you’re very welcome. It’s a great blessing coming across your motivational videos on RUclips, Tiktok and Instagram, it does help us evaluate perspective way of dealing with real life challenges so thank you.
Some women lose themselves in men because they are prideful. By that I mean they want to control and stay with a man who is immature and unkind because they get pleasure from living in high stressed and chaotic situations and having codependent relationships with negative, unevolved men. Bottom line: it is not up to a woman to do God's work.
I am his peace, and he is mine.. We both have been in chaotic relationships before, and don't want that. As far as fear of losing him, I am foreign and have made it clear that if he doesn't commit, he loses me...not even my choice. To make a plan for the future and fix myself, I flew back to the States for medical treatment, and to deal with my ex and family. He could have lost me then, and it took me years to find the courage for that. Now I have surgery due, and he could lose me then. He has been supportive about what I need for the hospital. Oh, and I should say I have been more in feminine energy, complimenting him, and I really saw a change recently. I didn't think I was bossy, I am forthright, but he saw it as 'bossy'. If we don't do thus and so by this time, I have to leave, etc. That didn't get me anywhere. I started being more feminine energy. He knows what is going on, and is stepping up. I am a very sweet and loving person, and really do try my best to put his needs first...but it was making me resentful. I found a different way to do that, and take care of myself...
Usually in the beginning, all a woman gives is peace. Being his peace is her sole goal. She will do everything to show that she's there for him. But if all she gets in return is war, it then becomes "war time" because she doesn't suddenly go to war- she will repeatedly tell him she's not happy, that she needs him to make some changes. She will negotiate and even bargain, giving him time to turn things around and be her peace too. And if he doesn't see it fit to be her peace, just as she's his, that's when she plays the game he has introduced - war. And trust me, a woman that does her utmost best to be a man's peace, when all she gets is crap, can be brutal in war. Some men will take a peaceful woman, who's meeting his needs just as you are describing, for granted. He misunderstands her persistency to be " she's more into me, and I will get away with a lot" so, he stays on the receiving end and not reciprocating. So yea. It's war time. Someone has to leave.
He's not speaking about those men who don't care. Why are women wasting their energy with men who don't care for them is more the problem IMO, not the men who don't care.
WHEN YOU'RE HAPPY AND FINALLY MOVED ON WITH YOUR LIFE THAT'S WHEN THEY WANT TO COME BACK!!! IT NEVER FAILS ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY KNOW THEY LOST A GOOD PERSON 💯💯💯💯
Stephen I’ve learned no matter how positive, uplifting and encouraging I am to my Kings. If they’re struggling with their own Demons nothing positive will manifest except for the peace of leaving. I’m Happy and wish blessings and Happiness to all!!! Life is too short to deal with ANYONE man OR woman that don’t know, love or respect themselves.
Yvonne I have learned that as well. You said the right thing”demons”. I have been there, gone thought it for years with a few people and being a growing Woman in Christ … It is what it is then battling with demons
No wonder some relationships are so draining. You do your best and they take you for granted. It seems that the only time they are afraid of losing you is when they are actually losing you.
Great points: 1) Be your own peace in order to be his peace 2) Speak love and positivity into him 3) Find out and tend to his desires and needs 4) Take care of yourself 5) Be transparent & learn to listen to him 6) Create your own world in your relationship 7) Learn how to find balance in the relationship as a team 8) Give consequences and rewards 9) Be willing to walk away . Powerful instructive words to execute and see if he is truly the correct man. Thanks.
I pray that God blesses everyone in this comment section to find the love you deserve, it is a gold that is yet to be discovered, but priceless. Your time will come, because when God sends them, you won't have to worry or be in distress but be satisfied and fulfilled. One day, we will be brought together with that special ONE. God Bless...Thank you Stephan for this.
He said you need to be *your own* peace first. He's telling the truth. I'm in a relationship now and here said that he's afraid to lose me because he said he never thought he'd find his rib. He's a peaceful person.
You sound like a narcissist, he should do to her just what he wants her to do to him. The word of God says for the man to love the woman, not the woman to love the man. The woman is to honor and respect the man. Yet when you have someone that has lied to you and caused you to lose respect for him, and feels he doesn't need to earn your respect back, because he is surrounded by people who has told him it's okay with what he has done and is still doing which is still LYING!!!!!
@@theresadavis4436 A narcissist? Lol...no. I sound like a woman who has learned from experience..it doesn’t matter how good you are to a man, or how much you put up with... no matter what you do, if he isn’t the one GOD picked out for you, it won’t work! That same man you do everything for can turn around and marry the next woman and treat her the way you wanted him to treat you! EXPERIENCE!!! A narcissist...? Lol... wow!
No amount of peace of positivity can make a man appreciate you and not want to lose you. It's about them and what he wants and what's to be at that particular time. Women don't bend over backwards always, these men treat us like trash nomatter how soft, feminine, loving etc we are
Just more negative complaining! Pick the RIGHT guys, and then heed Stephan's advice. He's NOT talking about doing this for immature boys...he's talking about doing this with grown men.
You're so right on this . They basically want a stepford type wife who worships them, bows down to them, treats the woman like a doormat, expects her to take everything he dishes out. It's all about them and keeping them happy till they find someone else cheat and move on
Sometimes, you just have to be willing to walk away. If he doesn't satisfy my needs and doesn't bring me peace... I'm walking. And at this point I don't care if he misses me. I have already seen who he is.
If you have peace within yourself you wouldn't have worry about that like Stephen said. PERIOD T WOMEN HAVE TO STOP BENING SO SELFISH. IT MAKES A WOMAN SO PATHIC ITS MAKES A WOMAN LONELY AND BITTER WITH NO MAN IN YOUR. LIFE AND YOU WONDER WHY???
Anytime a woman is trying to uplift her man to the point of exhaustion, she then loses so much of herself that she's depleted. Some men simply don't want to grow up regardless of what you do. Too many of them don't want to compromise & think that you should yield to their every whim. Let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!! 👍🏾💯
I have to disagree with the mama’s boy being connected to his mom because of her peace & positivity. Most of their moms are very controlling or very enabling and it crippled them from learning how to face responsibility.
Oh man... that such truth. My recent ex had a very controlling mother who enabled him by trying to fix all his problems. I’m heart broken we split, but the man hasn’t dealt with any of his responsibilities as a father of a broken marriage or had healthy co-parenting with his ex... I invested only 8 months but man does it hurt. Trying to let go. My ex’s life is a disaster right now and I had to choose to walk away... I still love him so very much. Now he will hardly speak to me... maybe no contact for a while is a good idea...
If they really Love you they will not make it hard for you. They will not make you feel confused or left out. How they treat you is how they feel about it. So no matter how smart, sexy, beautiful if they are not into you it will show on how they treat you. Lets focus on our own self and make a better version of ourselves.
Know yourself, know your worth and set boundaries. Any man that values you and wants to keep you in his life will tread lightly. If not, keep it moving ✌🏽
This advice is for when you have a GOOD man, it's not for Lying Larry. All the women stating this does not work, men don't 'know what they want, etc., you are casting your pearls before swine. Learn how to vet men, before giving them your jewels. Many of us continue giving in a relationship when we know the man is not good for us because we lack wisdom and self-esteem.
Im involved in a relationship now with a great woman but we have had some minor issues that led to 3 break ups. I believe she have some insecure and anger issues. We start counseling next month and I look forward to growing with her and transforming
I love how you guys are going to couple counselling, it shows that you both really want to work on things … now a days people are willing to give up soo easily on there relationship.Wish y’all the best ❤️
@@hawasankoh2434 mostly, that happens when such a man knows in his heart that he's not ready to settle down. He's just having fun. But he pretends and because the woman has no idea, she puts her all into him but gets nothing back because he's just sowing his wild oats. These types are the ones that waste your time. And there are alot of them out there. Ladies, you have to be alert and be your own personal PI so as to not fall prey to such.
My new guy I been dealing with I have been doing all of these things and so far this has been the best and healthiest relationship I’ve come into. It’s still early so we not official but he claims he loves that I am the way I am and he cannot risk losing me. I’m meeting his family next week for the holidays
I’m sorry, but if I’m done with a man because he isn’t the man I thought he was, and I break things off, I don’t worry about if he’s worried about losing me. Men are supposed to love the woman, women are supposed to respect the man, but he has to respect himself first, and she has to love herself first. We all have to know our worth. If a man is bringing stress, strife, distrust, a bad attitude, inconsideration, irresponsibility, non-accountability, etc., to us, how can we be positive. Trust runs out, patience runs out, and then it’s time to go. At that point, what he feels, thinks, worries about, etc., just don’t matter.
Women are supposed to do ALL OF THESE THINGS while men work and twiddle their damn toes. We have. To be your peace . Build businesses . Take care of the kids .cook . Look good .motivate you .encourage you . And be good in bed , all while managing my own positive energy and motivating myself without feeling depleted 😓🙄 PLEASE make a video about what’s man needs to do
Nobody wants to deal with war but what do they expect when they stopped being who you met? People create havoc amongst themselves and then blame you for not allowing them to play on you and your emotions. Like you said, you have to be your own peace.❤Thank you.
I was married 23 years. He got everything he wanted. Sat on the couch drank or was golfing . Expensive gifts. When it came to what i needed and desired. Nada dang thing. He would say he was the king. Well i asked for counseling. I paid for it. No matter what day it was he had a problem at work for 7 months every week. So i did not go to counseling that week i drove to the divorce lawyer. I even held thru his cheating. I was a hot fun wife.. but he refused showers, brush his teeth. Takes 2
Not always. Some horrible men will see you have good values and good energy and will be attracted to you due to those traits. No matter how good you carry yourself or how much you love yourself can keep bad away.
A lot of these men a BROKEN! I'm so saddening when it comes to these men. They have to get in God and learn who they are. Check out my relationship perspectives. I will release them every Wednesday. Spiritual insight
The part about being my own peace and making sure I didn't have my own demons deeply resonated with me. No one wants to come home to war, but you bring home war when you walk with your own war all the time. Thank you for this perspective, you're so insightful
@@lacil8895 definitely an awful time for YOU because you clearly need to work on healing yourself from the hurt, trauma, and hatred you’re still holding
I've catered to this man. I've loved him. I've fed him. I've been quiet. I've spoken calmly. And I've gotten nothing but a man that takes. He's under the belief that I'm here to serve him and has given just enough when he deems the time right. Flowers on Valentine's Day and my birthday. Because that's "common." The only time I get the proper attention from him, is when I lose my cool. THEN I get reciprocation. This is not the type of relationship I want. I don't want to have to get angry to be properly attended to and loved. Who does that? I refuse to keep repeating myself.
Yup! I wasted close to our 4th year anniversary and he didn’t give a shit. Thought I was not going to leave him. I was super transparent and he tried to f me over. Packed myself up and left. Why he call me when his brother does one tiny phone call?! Naw boi, bye. You respect and value your brother, but not your WIFE?! Bye! Leaving was the best thing for me
Honestly I feel, most times we struggle to gain the attention of a man with different schemes and techniques and we fail to understand that when we meet the right person, everything flows without putting lots of pressure on ourselves to make things work. All the struggles and efforts are not worth it especially especially the man isn't the right person for you. Love with your head and not your heart to enable you cut off the wrong person. Move on with your life hoping and praying the right person comes your way someday.
Ify, I completely agree with you. Pure Love has nothing to do with all these rules, regulations, or stuff. It is a natural feeling and it flows naturally without all these things. The Holy Spirit is the One who puts two people together. Your life partner will just fall into you on the right time. Two much efforts to put on or to follow because natural love does not need any of these. While trying or forcing yourself to follow all of these because it may not be according to your personality traits, or character then you might miss the opportunity to be with your life partner. For my deep understanding, GOD is LOVE. PRAYER, FAITH in GOD is the BEST to do and follow while waiting patiently on GOD.
@@zazuzazz5419 and multiple date too ... women need to stop thinking about a man at each time and have fun dating till she finds the one like men do. That's why they stay winning there
If you’re not getting peace from your woman it’s because you keep bringing drama to her life. Stop lying, cheating and playing games and you’ll find peace with your woman
While you might have clicked on this video to “keep him” if you implement these changes to yourself, you grow to be a person NO ONE wants to loose. This is a manual on how to increase your value for yourself and others via self growth. Aye 🙌🏽⚡️
It’s interesting to listen not Only Stephan , but I also like reading comment section , it’s like being on group therapy where everyone shares their true stories and we can become more aware and vulnerable at the same time ! I appreciate your way of teaching , speaking and supporting people with that simple yet effective words ! It’s extremely visible that Stephan speaks through his big beautiful heart ❤️
He wanted and expected peace and drama free connection whilst he was creating chaos running around them streets but expecting me not to react . ! Double standards ...:/
other than the love for the Creator God, self love is the love to strive for. I cannot love anybody else well unless & until I love & understand me completely. Because it's very hard to accept neglectful, chaotic, narcissistic, half-baked men when we have a strong core of self-love.
It’s important that a man values and respects you. If he needs to be constantly reminded despite you pouring into him then maybe it’s time to move on. I’m still waiting for a great man that is willing to invest in me just as much as I am willing to invest in him. I know that it will be worth the wait.
This is great information. I have learned that only healthy men can receive all that you mentioned in the video and embrace it. Men who have not had a healthy relationship before get scared with a womans goodness. They think one is fake. And tend to run away and go back to the old toxic relationships of their past.
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Most powerful women is in her feminine. It's rare these days, if any man got that and he real and healthy minded man, he going to do what he has to do to keep you.
@@mariahsmith5380 Traits such as nurturance, sensitivity, sweetness, supportiveness, gentleness, warmth, passivity, cooperativeness, expressiveness, modesty, humility, empathy, affection, tenderness, and being emotional, kind, helpful, devoted, and understanding have been cited as stereotypically feminine.
To the women: “you need to be his peace” Also to the women: “you need to be ya own damn peace” 🙄Lol. If he wants me to be his peace, he needs to be mine as well. Period
One comes before the other.... and attitudes bounce off eachother too. Love yourself first then you can love others ... same concept ... and very easy.
If he doesn't want to be with you, all these things are just delaying the inevitable. I love Stephen's talks, and listen to his advice often! Thanks Stephen Speaks!
Exactly. They'll stay with you knowing you're not the one or type they want while telling you that you are. Then when the one is a little closer to what they really want comes along they cheat and / or leave you for her. Rinse and repeat
It’s unfortunate, that most women won’t listen to most of what your saying.It’s all about being your best authentic self. I don’t think you have to change for a man, but change for yourself. Taking care of yourself is major! Be in tuned with your own emotions, and know that everything doesn’t deserve a response or a physical reaction. If you are at peace with yourself, you will bring harmony to all of your relationships. Be positive and stay focused. It is okay to have your own thing going on, and he will try to figure out how to include himself and come into your world. I think you have to treat it like a friendship. Laugh, talk, and play. Remember to put yourself first,because men always put themselves first. Do not change, and become all about him to the point you lose all of yourself. That is how women become codependent on a man.
I have this as a sign above my bed. Every morning when I wake up I get reminded that no matter how hard things are now, everything is gonna be alright in the end.
Aww! My boyfriend who lives in the other side of the world sings this song to me and makes me sooo happy, i feel peace 😀 ..Thank you so much Stephan for your advice it is good to know coming from a man.. God bless u!
@@freshmanjeans 💯 agreed! It's been 10 months now. We've grown even stronger. One difference I can say for myself, I was in a 16 year marriage to a narcissist. He died two months after our divorce in 2018. Although he was a cheater, I decided to be faithful to God and as a result I was faithful in my marriage. This relationship today is the fruit of my labor. The guy before him, also, after my marriage, was very good but he had poor communication. Holy Spirit said to me, "Will you settle for good?". I cut off good and received my hearts desires. Like my marriage, I don't know how long it will last, but I endeavor to enjoy every moment.
Do men really worry about losing women!?! I have never thought they did. 🤔 01) Be his peace - men crave peace and a positive woman. Women think Men crave all the women, all the vaginas, and all the drama. A woman can’t fake being peaceful 💯. Men tend to be chaotic 🤷🏻♀️ 02) Speak love and positivity into that man. Be that source. He’ll want to be there and relaxed with you. Don’t be pessimistic. (Goes hand in hand with # 01) I have blockage from being positive 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ 03) Find out his specific needs and desires and actually provide these things. In a Positive and healthy manner/energy. Don’t assume what he wants. Do it on a regular basis and be consistent. 04) Start taking better care of yourself. It’s hard to be good when your not feeling good. Mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. You figure it out and find your best self. But men really mean at a desirable weight and in shape and appearance to stay attractive as much as and as best as possible. 🤷🏻♀️ It’s that damn visual excuse they use. Sigh....... 😒 05) Learn how to listen to this man and use some logic. Don’t just react, breathe. Men complain about a lack of transparency from the women. Men can’t read women’s minds. I can’t prevent my reactions 🤷🏻♀️ 06) Create your own world within the relationship. Don’t make your man your whole world and don’t smother him or become needy and draining. Don’t be bored by yourself, it wears down a guy. Go get friends or get a hobby. Volunteer! Don’t create a secret world from your guy though. This is the one thing I am blessed with 🙏🏻 Phew! 😂🤣😂 07) Learn how to balance the relationship. Examine long successful and happily relationships. Work as a team to balance each other out. I handle this, you handle that. Become an asset to this relationship. You both can’t be managers and doers. Build! 08) Give consequences and rewards. If they are not going to do their part, they don’t get the benefits of you. He does his part, then he gets the best of you. There are standards and requirements that need to be met. 09) Be willing to walk away. If you can’t walk away, you lose. Find the strength to do what you need to do. He must know in order to keep you that he must do his part. Special message: If he is the chaotic one, it’s best losing this man. There is nothing else to discuss or explore. This guy is not it.
Thank you soooo much!!!!! I could not get through the video it was too much extra, unnecessary talking and explaining. I’m sure good info he just very, very long extra winded
I've learned that men are pretty straight forward in what they say, whether it's by words or actions. We as women need to start taking them literally, even if it sounds unbelievable or we think we can change his mind. If change does come his actions and words will follow.
Women don't listen to men. They are very straight forward tbh. They'll tell you they are not ready or interested etc but the woman decides to interpret it as "let me just stick around hell come around"
Great tips. I hung onto every word. Got it! ❤️ I am twice removed from the lectures, counseling and advices that we as woman should be doing, while the men are getting a pat on the shoulders with the vibes, "Hang in there. You will find a good woman." I truly understand that it is more profitable to get at the women, then it is the men, which is why there are sooooo experts instructing women these days on how to be a good woman. So for now, I am done with the note taking, done with searching or even done with the interest of being in a healthy relationship right now. If it happens, it happens. Doing me, seems to be a much better place. And of course I am ready for more than "Average Joe!" And got plenty of "solid advice" to last a lifetime.🤗❤️🤗
You're so right. It comes down to being their doormat until the next one comes along. Then blaming you for them cheating or leaving. Can never be the man's fault, they're just so perfect
So true. I have work, kids and school. But I have dedicated myself to loving myself. I’m down three dress sizes, I’m working on myself and asking the Lord to help me in the areas where I’m struggling. And I have cut off all the negative folks. I have decided to be by myself.
If a man really loves you, he will never let you walk out of his life and if he knows that he's the cause of all of the problems but doesn't want to be held accountable, then that's when he'll let you go. I realized that i was a gem and i wasn't valued or appreciated, so i left.
I love all of this because it could be named "How to Make Sure You Stay Your Best and Happiest Self in Your Relationship" and still make complete sense. They can only see the value we affirm for ourselves first.
I believe our morals and values should match each other's if not walk away! Know matter if you like the person or their outer exterior appearance that's pleasing to the eye, but dangerous to our energy and soul!
After 18 years, my former became someone who I did not know. It was not worth endangering my life, so I:" learned the lessons;, forgave him,; forgave myself; closed the doors and left". Peace is what's important. No harm, no foul.
1 be his peace. 2 speak love and positivity 3 needs and desires 4 take better care of yourself 5 appearence 6 have your own world 7 balance in the relationship 8 consequences 9 be able to walk away.
i was too sweet to him that he got overconfident that i'm always available and will be there for him. now he's keeping me in the backseat, meeting other women , ignoring me through days. he's emotionally draining me to the point that i'm not in my good mind anymore. i just can't be it sucks
Suggestion to the women: flirting with another guy in front of him to prove you can replace him hurts your case. I'd say 13 out of 10 times the guy will lose interest(cant speak for everyone). I don't want to deal with a woman who puts me in a worry mindset like if i mess up i could be replaced.
Be his Peace 🤔 I was that but to my unknowing I was just an option - someone he came to when he was either lonely or the other women he dealt with were I guess frustrating him. Upon our parting (me ending things with him bc of the in and out he was doing) he told me he cared a lot abt me at the same time I was not what he wanted. Basically, he said all our moments were a lie. Very selfish. I even spoke love into him and uplifted him. Could you speak on how not to get caught up with the type of men who see women to fill voids that men have within? It's extremely messed up to find out you were just a placeholder.
Sis, pay attention to all the Red Flags during the "getting to know you" phase. Don't ignore the signs or your intuition. Trust yourself. Allow God's Holy Spirit to lead and guide you.....right out the damn door, if need be. We teach people how to love us by the examples we show when loving ourselves. People do what we allow. Know your worth and make others respect it! #Self Love 💖💞
I'm sorry that you had to experience that. That must've been such a hurtful experience.😔I pray that God will send you the partner that He has in mind for you.🙏🏾
Thank you for the ending message! That helped a lot and it’s been more than week since I’ve heard from him. I’m thankful I met him and did what I needed and don’t argue and express I needed the same love back, I just blessed him in silence and stopped contact and wished him well.
He told me im annoying because I was right and he didnt want to admit it. He told me i want to much and he didnt like that i have pulmonary hypertension. I walk away I can do better and dont deserve that.
The 1st one is really good for me. I love being a man’s peace & soft place to land. It seems that it would also invoke vulnerability from him which means he trusts you and that’s a great thing.
So I’m hearing only what he needs and wants is all that matters and to Kiss his bottom. Please do this……. I’m interested in hearing you do this same type of video to the Men BUT for us WOMAN so they can understand exactly what we NEED. Just know I’m all for what you’re saying but it goes both ways and not just one way ( their way) Men need to learn how to compromise, & communicate with the right attitude in a Loving way. Mic Drop!!! Thanks for your video. Love is a two way street
Everybody is different but if I walk into a new relationship with the mindset of trying to figure out how to make this guy fear losing me, I probably need to work on my self esteem because that's an exhausting game that one probably won't win. If a man\woman don't care about you, they just won't care about you no matter what you do. You can't make anyone do something they don't want to do. Trying to force or make someone do something or having the fear of losing someone is an unhealthy habit. If I have a fear of losing you, I don't need you which means you weren't meant to be apart of my life. If you have a fear of losing me, what did you really do? 🕵 I've been there. The #1 most important gift a person can give themselves is self-love. Why pour from a cup that you know is empty? Just like you mentioned, you have to have that love in you in order to give it out. If your mentality is not straight, don't date. Mental Health will always be important & no man is worth losing my mind over but that's just me. Relationships are meant to be fun, lighthearted as well as a learning experience. Slow and steady wins the race. Take thing's with a grain of salt and keep learning life🌻
Don't none of this stuff works for some men. You can be nice, sweet, positive and supportive. But you won't get it back and He'll push and push until you are nothing. I believe that a man should be this also.
#8,9 hit the spot. I know I have a lot to work on, but when a man feels like he can do whatever and still reap benefits and not change. That's where it ends.
Be your own peace. Nobody can take it from you when you cultivated it for yourself. It can only be taken from you if you have not set boundaries. This applies to the good men and good women. 🇬🇧💚
❤️ Get your copy of "How To Get A Man To Cherish You..." today! CLICK HERE 👉 www.becherishedbyhim.com 👈 Don't let the title trigger you. This book is genuinely helping so many women.
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What is it by when a man says after you ask him what do you need? And he says All I need is your love...instead of saying your all I need.
@@marilynserrano-soto3100 Your question really struck me. I know you are not asking for my opinion, but from one woman to another, for me personally, if a man says you are all he needs--- RUN! If he says all he needs is your love, he’s a keeper. Any man who needs you, in my book, is a man who is not consistently working to be a whole, balanced human being. But that is just me. I don’t want a man to need ME. But I can sure share my love with him and he can sure share his love with me. But again, that is just me. I’ve been married for 15 years and we’ve been together 17 years. The times in our marriage where I “needed” him, for example, were the dark years of our marriage. I can honestly say, my husband never “needed me”, but he needed my love. And because of that, I had to take a deeper look at myself to be sure I was giving him MY love from a place of overflow. I fill my cup (take care of myself emotionally, spiritually, financially, physically) so that what I give him comes from a place of abundance, and not lack. I love myself consistently so that I have so much love to share with him. And he does the same. It is not my job to fulfill him, and it is not his job to fulfill me. And if he needs me to do that for him, he is not operating from a place of wholeness. So that is how I interpret the question you are posing. A man saying, “You’re” all I need comes from a place of lack. But that is just my interpretation.
@@marilynserrano-soto3100 I love
@@katlegokelesitse7106 this really work out for me
A woman treats you how she wants to be treated first. Then she treats you how you treat her.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
yep
Very true
True
Real 💯
Some men don't want a relationship they want help money, sex a place to stay
That’s not a man; that’s a child/dependent! Run the other way from those low value types.
When men act like this I think they on the dl especially after 50
Yup
True that, they looking for a woman to use.
You r so damn right..nowadays its about These things you said!
Choose yourself over anyone that doesn’t value you. It’s hard but keep choosing peace and see him/her come and apologies but never chase. I always practise choosing peace that’s where your power is. Be strong and be ready to face challenges and be positive mindset.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
@@MeetStephanSpeaks you’re very welcome. It’s a great blessing coming across your motivational videos on RUclips, Tiktok and Instagram, it does help us evaluate perspective way of dealing with real life challenges so thank you.
Some women lose themselves in men because they are prideful. By that I mean they want to control and stay with a man who is immature and unkind because they get pleasure from living in high stressed and chaotic situations and having codependent relationships with negative, unevolved men. Bottom line: it is not up to a woman to do God's work.
Amen
Thanks Stephan, this one was wonderful...good teachings.
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
I am his peace, and he is mine.. We both have been in chaotic relationships before, and don't want that. As far as fear of losing him, I am foreign and have made it clear that if he doesn't commit, he loses me...not even my choice. To make a plan for the future and fix myself, I flew back to the States for medical treatment, and to deal with my ex and family. He could have lost me then, and it took me years to find the courage for that. Now I have surgery due, and he could lose me then. He has been supportive about what I need for the hospital. Oh, and I should say I have been more in feminine energy, complimenting him, and I really saw a change recently. I didn't think I was bossy, I am forthright, but he saw it as 'bossy'. If we don't do thus and so by this time, I have to leave, etc. That didn't get me anywhere. I started being more feminine energy. He knows what is going on, and is stepping up. I am a very sweet and loving person, and really do try my best to put his needs first...but it was making me resentful. I found a different way to do that, and take care of myself...
27 yrs married I hope your advise helps us because im at my witts end
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you! ❤️
Sounds like you've exalted yourself. Is your spouse doing the same???
Sending prayers
I'm in the same boat. Ours is 28 yrs last month. So much wasted years.😞
Usually in the beginning, all a woman gives is peace. Being his peace is her sole goal. She will do everything to show that she's there for him. But if all she gets in return is war, it then becomes "war time" because she doesn't suddenly go to war- she will repeatedly tell him she's not happy, that she needs him to make some changes. She will negotiate and even bargain, giving him time to turn things around and be her peace too. And if he doesn't see it fit to be her peace, just as she's his, that's when she plays the game he has introduced - war.
And trust me, a woman that does her utmost best to be a man's peace, when all she gets is crap, can be brutal in war.
Some men will take a peaceful woman, who's meeting his needs just as you are describing, for granted.
He misunderstands her persistency to be " she's more into me, and I will get away with a lot" so, he stays on the receiving end and not reciprocating. So yea. It's war time. Someone has to leave.
THIS was a wonderful message thank you
My pleasure ❤
Your words give me chills thank you for sharing knowledge (finger snap, finger snaps) the accuracy of this video 🤍
He said to me that he found a peace and tranquility with me..... that's why he missed me even we had a fight and argue....
These are very nice points to look into, thank you so much.
Thanks!
My pleasure ❤️
9 ways to make him worry no need at alll wait on god you will never have to play these games with a soulmate relationship at all
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you ❤️
Before, to do all of these things for a man. Ask yourselves, Does this man deserve me?
That part! 🖤
Preach sis
Exactly
yessssss
NO
I think the only time a man is afraid of losing you is when another man is interested in you.
Facts
Truth!
Too DAMN TRUE!!
Or when it’s too late & you know your worth
right
Be his peace but in reality, they take a peaceful woman and break her down and then wonder why he’s got no peace years later.
That would be a narcissist that you're dealing with there. They drain your soul
True
True
That is Soo True they literally break us
Exactly. "You used to be so positive" yeah man until you sucked it all out then abused me and expect that fucking well of positivity is bottomless
If a man doesn't truly love or care about you, no matter what you do, he wont care if he loses you or not.
💯🎯💯🎯💯🎯
Most definitely!
He's not speaking about those men who don't care. Why are women wasting their energy with men who don't care for them is more the problem IMO, not the men who don't care.
Exactly. Is all about how the guy feels also
If he never have feelings for u in that term. No matter what u do. He won’t be feeling u
WHEN YOU'RE HAPPY AND FINALLY MOVED ON WITH YOUR LIFE THAT'S WHEN THEY WANT TO COME BACK!!! IT NEVER FAILS ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY KNOW THEY LOST A GOOD PERSON 💯💯💯💯
That part!!!
Every time!!!
@shay Marie so true
Peace and quiet balance is not his Cup of tea !
No they just come back to see if you're still dumb to their bs
When you have the strength to walk away that's when they will realize they've lost someone special
U are right my love
So true
That's the hardest damn thing to do though!
@@nicholeb2746 I know it's hard but you can...choose you🫂
@@nicholeb2746 I know right, but you can...choose you🫂
Stephen I’ve learned no matter how positive, uplifting and encouraging I am to my Kings. If they’re struggling with their own Demons nothing positive will manifest except for the peace of leaving. I’m Happy and wish blessings and Happiness to all!!! Life is too short to deal with ANYONE man OR woman that don’t know, love or respect themselves.
Text him on Whatsapp ( His name is Dr Steve)
Yvonne I have learned that as well. You said the right thing”demons”. I have been there, gone thought it for years with a few people and being a growing Woman in Christ … It is what it is then battling with demons
Yvonne, well said! Yes and amen!
You are correct I was all this to a man who has demons, insecurity issues, gossip like a woman etc.
Amen exactly what i just dealt with. I loved my husband with all my heart but he’s dealing with his own demon/issues so i had to leave
No wonder some relationships are so draining. You do your best and they take you for granted. It seems that the only time they are afraid of losing you is when they are actually losing you.
💯💯
When they actually *lose you
Exactly! 100%!
So true I agree
That part
Great points: 1) Be your own peace in order to be his peace 2) Speak love and positivity into him 3) Find out and tend to his desires and needs 4) Take care of yourself 5) Be transparent & learn to listen to him 6) Create your own world in your relationship 7) Learn how to find balance in the relationship as a team 8) Give consequences and rewards 9) Be willing to walk away . Powerful instructive words to execute and see if he is truly the correct man. Thanks.
P
Thanks so much. I'm already listening to this at triple speed. It's a common thing for me lately.
Thanks Simone for sharing the points!
Yes ma'am thanks so much.
Nice thx you for listing
Pray that God sends you the Man that's for you! That's how you get the man you deserve! Blessings Everyone❤
I've tried that countless times before.. now what
Yaaaasssssss. Amen. Because what God gives He maintains
We still have to do our part
Exactly
@svasianphilippinesgo6858 Not everyone you meet is Sent from God. Your Spirit will know when it feels right.
I pray that God blesses everyone in this comment section to find the love you deserve, it is a gold that is yet to be discovered, but priceless. Your time will come, because when God sends them, you won't have to worry or be in distress but be satisfied and fulfilled. One day, we will be brought together with that special ONE. God Bless...Thank you Stephan for this.
My pleasure ❤
❤
Yes! So true!
Amen
Same for you my sis.
This is a two way street sir. A woman can only be at peace with a man who gives the same back.
He said you need to be *your own* peace first.
He's telling the truth. I'm in a relationship now and here said that he's afraid to lose me because he said he never thought he'd find his rib. He's a peaceful person.
Facts! I totally agree!
Truth
@@TejubescDM I see Lotsa men with drama queens and they themselves tend to be drama kings too! 🤔
💯
I agree. However, you can’t keep a man that doesn’t want to be kept, no matter how good you are to him. What’s meant to be will be
learned the hard way
@@delucastudios3097 Me too
You sound like a narcissist, he should do to her just what he wants her to do to him. The word of God says for the man to love the woman, not the woman to love the man. The woman is to honor and respect the man. Yet when you have someone that has lied to you and caused you to lose respect for him, and feels he doesn't need to earn your respect back, because he is surrounded by people who has told him it's okay with what he has done and is still doing which is still LYING!!!!!
@@theresadavis4436 A narcissist? Lol...no. I sound like a woman who has learned from experience..it doesn’t matter how good you are to a man, or how much you put up with... no matter what you do, if he isn’t the one GOD picked out for you, it won’t work! That same man you do everything for can turn around and marry the next woman and treat her the way you wanted him to treat you! EXPERIENCE!!! A narcissist...? Lol... wow!
Facts
No amount of peace of positivity can make a man appreciate you and not want to lose you. It's about them and what he wants and what's to be at that particular time. Women don't bend over backwards always, these men treat us like trash nomatter how soft, feminine, loving etc we are
Thank you 👏🏾
🎯🎯🎯🎯
Just more negative complaining! Pick the RIGHT guys, and then heed Stephan's advice. He's NOT talking about doing this for immature boys...he's talking about doing this with grown men.
You're so right on this . They basically want a stepford type wife who worships them, bows down to them, treats the woman like a doormat, expects her to take everything he dishes out. It's all about them and keeping them happy till they find someone else cheat and move on
@@tlc6756I back this
Sometimes, you just have to be willing to walk away.
If he doesn't satisfy my needs and doesn't bring me peace... I'm walking.
And at this point I don't care if he misses me.
I have already seen who he is.
If you have peace within yourself you wouldn't have worry about that like Stephen said. PERIOD T WOMEN HAVE TO STOP BENING SO SELFISH. IT MAKES A WOMAN SO PATHIC ITS MAKES A WOMAN LONELY AND BITTER WITH NO MAN IN YOUR. LIFE AND YOU WONDER WHY???
You sound like me🤣🤷🏽♀️
I recommend you to father joe his spells and manifestations are the best💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
He can help you manifest whomever or whatever you want to manifest within 24 hours no delay just as he helped me 💯💯💯💯
What sapp him
Anytime a woman is trying to uplift her man to the point of exhaustion, she then loses so much of herself that she's depleted. Some men simply don't want to grow up regardless of what you do. Too many of them don't want to compromise & think that you should yield to their every whim. Let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!! 👍🏾💯
💯
So true
I feel you, but we have to focus on doing what is truly best!
Be his peace. Very first topic.
Amen to that!!!!
I have to disagree with the mama’s boy being connected to his mom because of her peace & positivity. Most of their moms are very controlling or very enabling and it crippled them from learning how to face responsibility.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
@@MeetStephanSpeaks thank you for creating a place for me to share my thoughts! Great video btw
So true
Raven Lei absolutely
Oh man... that such truth. My recent ex had a very controlling mother who enabled him by trying to fix all his problems. I’m heart broken we split, but the man hasn’t dealt with any of his responsibilities as a father of a broken marriage or had healthy co-parenting with his ex... I invested only 8 months but man does it hurt. Trying to let go. My ex’s life is a disaster right now and I had to choose to walk away... I still love him so very much. Now he will hardly speak to me... maybe no contact for a while is a good idea...
If they really Love you they will not make it hard for you. They will not make you feel confused or left out. How they treat you is how they feel about it. So no matter how smart, sexy, beautiful if they are not into you it will show on how they treat you. Lets focus on our own self and make a better version of ourselves.
What if like 70 to 80 plus percent he is really nice and committed then what about the other 20 percent?! Good god they want someone perfect it seems!
💯
It's simple, know what you want, express it, and walk away if you don't get it.
As simple as that
Most definitely!
Boom!
Periodt!!!!!!!!
Agreed. Don't settle. Don't compromise. Don't lower your standards.
Stand 10 toes down and strong on your worth. 🔥🔥🔥
Know yourself, know your worth and set boundaries. Any man that values you and wants to keep you in his life will tread lightly. If not, keep it moving ✌🏽
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Best said!
Amen xx
Facts!👍👍
@@MeetStephanSpeaks Your generic response is condescending and unnecessary. Just say nothing.
This advice is for when you have a GOOD man, it's not for Lying Larry. All the women stating this does not work, men don't 'know what they want, etc., you are casting your pearls before swine. Learn how to vet men, before giving them your jewels. Many of us continue giving in a relationship when we know the man is not good for us because we lack wisdom and self-esteem.
Hit it on the NAIL! 💯💯💯💯
🙌 💯 Yes!
Lying Larry... LMAO...🤣💯😂👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Amen
Yelp, that LAST part.
💖
Take full care of yourself physically & mentally & listen actively, know about each other's needs.
Indeed, it really helps when we embrace that.
Im involved in a relationship now with a great woman but we have had some minor issues that led to 3 break ups. I believe she have some insecure and anger issues. We start counseling next month and I look forward to growing with her and transforming
whatzapp
Three breakups in one relationship? What is really going on? You both need to honestly reflect.
I love how you guys are going to couple counselling, it shows that you both really want to work on things … now a days people are willing to give up soo easily on there relationship.Wish y’all the best ❤️
I think it's awesome that you value your relationship enough to get therapy, and try to fix any problems and make it work.I wish you happiness ☺️
I love this!
If he’s causing chaos walk away because that will cause you your peace!
Have you ever noticed that men do pretend in a relationship no matter what you do
@@hawasankoh2434 mostly, that happens when such a man knows in his heart that he's not ready to settle down. He's just having fun. But he pretends and because the woman has no idea, she puts her all into him but gets nothing back because he's just sowing his wild oats. These types are the ones that waste your time. And there are alot of them out there. Ladies, you have to be alert and be your own personal PI so as to not fall prey to such.
I can testify to this. Truth. Facts .
My new guy I been dealing with I have been doing all of these things and so far this has been the best and healthiest relationship I’ve come into. It’s still early so we not official but he claims he loves that I am the way I am and he cannot risk losing me. I’m meeting his family next week for the holidays
updates?
I wish you luck. But you're gonna find it basically comes down to catering to them
Honeymoon stage.
I’m sorry, but if I’m done with a man because he isn’t the man I thought he was, and I break things off, I don’t worry about if he’s worried about losing me. Men are supposed to love the woman, women are supposed to respect the man, but he has to respect himself first, and she has to love herself first. We all have to know our worth. If a man is bringing stress, strife, distrust, a bad attitude, inconsideration, irresponsibility, non-accountability, etc., to us, how can we be positive. Trust runs out, patience runs out, and then it’s time to go. At that point, what he feels, thinks, worries about, etc., just don’t matter.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Exactly ‼️‼️
I recommend you to father joe his spells and manifestations are the best💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
He can help you manifest whomever or whatever you want to manifest within 24 hours no delay just as he helped me 💯💯💯💯
What sapp him
Women are supposed to do ALL OF THESE THINGS while men work and twiddle their damn toes. We have. To be your peace . Build businesses . Take care of the kids .cook . Look good .motivate you .encourage you . And be good in bed , all while managing my own positive energy and motivating myself without feeling depleted 😓🙄 PLEASE make a video about what’s man needs to do
Amen!!!!
Amen
Honestly, tell Kevin this too...these men have lost their minds.
AMEN TO THAT. none of these videos across multiple dating coaches talks about what a man should do to take care of his woman.
Ok..
A grown man knows very well how to behave in a relationship because he is no longer a teenager.
And the woman in his life is not his mother.
some grown ass men don't know how to behave that is way you walk away from him
Aman! Be grown. I'm not your mother.
" I'm not yo mama"!. - JLo.
Phenomenal statement ! Need to send this to my "separated"...
I recommend you to father joe his spells and manifestations are the best💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Nobody wants to deal with war but what do they expect when they stopped being who you met? People create havoc amongst themselves and then blame you for not allowing them to play on you and your emotions. Like you said, you have to be your own peace.❤Thank you.
Truth
When they change just warn them then leave
Beware of the narcissist!
A goddess doesn’t chase. We attract. Be the Energy you look for in others & fulfill yourself with that. You then will attract the energy you “seek”
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate that ❤️
I was married 23 years. He got everything he wanted. Sat on the couch drank or was golfing . Expensive gifts. When it came to what i needed and desired. Nada dang thing. He would say he was the king. Well i asked for counseling. I paid for it. No matter what day it was he had a problem at work for 7 months every week. So i did not go to counseling that week i drove to the divorce lawyer. I even held thru his cheating. I was a hot fun wife.. but he refused showers, brush his teeth. Takes 2
Not always. Some horrible men will see you have good values and good energy and will be attracted to you due to those traits. No matter how good you carry yourself or how much you love yourself can keep bad away.
Wow. Great point ❤
You're so right Goddess we don't chase we attract
You can give some men all this and more and he still acts crazy as hell!!!!!!
I feel you, it definitely isn't an easy situation!
You've got to be willing to walk away.
Exactly!!!
Yes, so true! Some are too broken to realize how good they have it!
Yes, lots of dysfunctional men… It means they are Mr. Wrongs and time to say goodbye. 👋
So much work for mfrs that give us headaches
. Most men don’t deserve this treatment. You end up just getting sht on
A lot of these men a BROKEN! I'm so saddening when it comes to these men. They have to get in God and learn who they are. Check out my relationship perspectives. I will release them every Wednesday. Spiritual insight
You have to tell them how to treat you. I dont care i will work on myself
You’re letting the wrong men in your space. Find a healthier circle dear ⭕️
Best comment ever!! Fax!!
@@kbb649 yesss always trying to self improve
The part about being my own peace and making sure I didn't have my own demons deeply resonated with me. No one wants to come home to war, but you bring home war when you walk with your own war all the time. Thank you for this perspective, you're so insightful
When he says, "I need a relationship that requires nothing of me," 😳 it's time to go.
What? People really enter relationships with this mindset? 😳😳
@@jodiannevins8431 I guess so
Yeah this is a major problem. Lol
Then he needs to get in a relationship with a gold fish 😂
Tell him to buy a Rock 🤣 it literally requires nothing, LoL and weather's all storms.
It takes two to tango. I can be his peace but he also have to give me peace.
exactly
So true. If he starts negativity all the time what peace we are talking about?
@@djamilakourdbakir1239 if he give me negativity, i will give him hell on earth
@@kbb649 why put so much energy into a man who is not worried about you? If he Is giving you negativity, just leave.
@@lacil8895 definitely an awful time for YOU because you clearly need to work on healing yourself from the hurt, trauma, and hatred you’re still holding
I've catered to this man. I've loved him. I've fed him. I've been quiet. I've spoken calmly. And I've gotten nothing but a man that takes. He's under the belief that I'm here to serve him and has given just enough when he deems the time right. Flowers on Valentine's Day and my birthday. Because that's "common."
The only time I get the proper attention from him, is when I lose my cool. THEN I get reciprocation. This is not the type of relationship I want. I don't want to have to get angry to be properly attended to and loved. Who does that?
I refuse to keep repeating myself.
I've been through that ...trust me leaving was WONDERFUL
Ditto . Amen
Yup! I wasted close to our 4th year anniversary and he didn’t give a shit. Thought I was not going to leave him. I was super transparent and he tried to f me over. Packed myself up and left. Why he call me when his brother does one tiny phone call?! Naw boi, bye. You respect and value your brother, but not your WIFE?! Bye! Leaving was the best thing for me
I wasn’t sure if you wrote this or if I wrote it! I felt this whole post. I think we have narcissistic men.
Exactly
Honestly I feel, most times we struggle to gain the attention of a man with different schemes and techniques and we fail to understand that when we meet the right person, everything flows without putting lots of pressure on ourselves to make things work. All the struggles and efforts are not worth it especially especially the man isn't the right person for you. Love with your head and not your heart to enable you cut off the wrong person. Move on with your life hoping and praying the right person comes your way someday.
Ify, I completely agree with you. Pure Love has nothing to do with all these rules, regulations, or stuff. It is a natural feeling and it flows naturally without all these things. The Holy Spirit is the One who puts two people together. Your life partner will just fall into you on the right time. Two much efforts to put on or to follow because natural love does not need any of these. While trying or forcing yourself to follow all of these because it may not be according to your personality traits, or character then you might miss the opportunity to be with your life partner. For my deep understanding, GOD is LOVE. PRAYER, FAITH in GOD is the BEST to do and follow while waiting patiently on GOD.
Women, believe in yourselves and trust GOD for the right person to come forward.
Let’s emphasize on the “fact” that he has to love you first. Otherwise you will waste your time, efforts, confidence and leave you with more pain
Yes. In the beginning, I mirror his behavior. I don’t invest a stitch more.
This I completely agree with you on this.
@@zazuzazz5419 and multiple date too ... women need to stop thinking about a man at each time and have fun dating till she finds the one like men do. That's why they stay winning there
Yes so true
I recommend you to father joe his spells and manifestations are the best💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Truth is when you can create peace within yourself, you attract a man that is also peaceful or at least truly willing to be!!
Agreed! You attract what you are.
@ Fi
Yessssss!!!! Yesssss Fi! Say it again!! 🙌🏾🙌🏿🙌🏽🙌🏼
Absolutely!
@@_Delightful.Finds_ Amen! SO RIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT!
I recommend you to father joe his spells and manifestations are the best💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
This video is just in time for International Women’s day!!!! Happy International Women’s day ladies 🌸💐💐💐🌺🌺🌷🌻🥀🌼🌹🌸
Happy International Women’s Day
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
Thank you! Same to you!🌺🌺🌸💐💐🌸🌷🌷⚘⚘💐💐🌺🌺🌸🌷👏😊🥰🤗
Yes girl!
A little late, but thank you and same to you Lady. 🔥🥂
If you’re not getting peace from your woman it’s because you keep bringing drama to her life. Stop lying, cheating and playing games and you’ll find peace with your woman
That's true
While you might have clicked on this video to “keep him” if you implement these changes to yourself, you grow to be a person NO ONE wants to loose. This is a manual on how to increase your value for yourself and others via self growth. Aye 🙌🏽⚡️
BINGO!
💯
It’s interesting to listen not Only Stephan , but I also like reading comment section , it’s like being on group therapy where everyone shares their true stories and we can become more aware and vulnerable at the same time ! I appreciate your way of teaching , speaking and supporting people with that simple yet effective words ! It’s extremely visible that Stephan speaks through his big beautiful heart ❤️
I know. it feels so good. Glad I came across this Channel
Ditto
Lol. I'm coming for comments mostly.
I agree with you
He wanted and expected peace and drama free connection whilst he was creating chaos running around them streets but expecting me not to react . ! Double standards ...:/
Straight up
Must have been Tic
I had to understand God said vengeance is his!!
Narcissistic talk..watch dr.Ramani's channel
@@wonderwoman5070 Yep. Narc, for sure.
After watching this ..I think it's easier and less stressful to just be single lol
😂
😂❤
So true, sometimes self love is the best love at times.
You're absolutely right!
Yes you have to study
Amen to that
other than the love for the Creator God, self love is the love to strive for. I cannot love anybody else well unless & until I love & understand me completely. Because it's very hard to accept neglectful, chaotic, narcissistic, half-baked men when we have a strong core of self-love.
@@MegaDiva1999 Well said
This video made me realized I gave all this to the wrong man and that’s why he didn’t get it. :) an aah moment. Thanks.
My pleasure ❤
👏🏼👏🏼
It’s important that a man values and respects you. If he needs to be constantly reminded despite you pouring into him then maybe it’s time to move on. I’m still waiting for a great man that is willing to invest in me just as much as I am willing to invest in him. I know that it will be worth the wait.
You're absolutely right thank you for sharing!
I agree completely.
Well said
I am still waiting and I know he out there, but I am also not chasing relationships.
I’m in total agreement. You give peace and joy. He give you nothing.
This could go both ways..we wouldn’t want to lose a “good man” either as he wouldn’t want to lose a “good woman”.
happy to hear someone....and a woman....say this
This is great information. I have learned that only healthy men can receive all that you mentioned in the video and embrace it. Men who have not had a healthy relationship before get scared with a womans goodness. They think one is fake. And tend to run away and go back to the old toxic relationships of their past.
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response, and don't forget to share so that others can receive love and healing!
Exactly. Mentally health. Heart healthy (character) and spiritual health.
Soooooo TRUUUE
Truth!!!
I "Settled" a little too long..Took me a while to know My worth again. Thank You Lord! 🧡
Hello I got my lover back to me with the help of Dr Wilson he helped me return my lover back to me in less than 48 hours he can help you instantly to get your ex lover..
Some people are not worried about losing you because they are so busy prepping their options to replace you.... Yes.... He lost me...
Most powerful women is in her feminine. It's rare these days, if any man got that and he real and healthy minded man, he going to do what he has to do to keep you.
Thank you for your feedback, I appreciate hearing from you! ❤️
Why do u say it’s rare? What do you mean by feminine like be girly or? Lol
@@mariahsmith5380 Traits such as nurturance, sensitivity, sweetness, supportiveness, gentleness, warmth, passivity, cooperativeness, expressiveness, modesty, humility, empathy, affection, tenderness, and being emotional, kind, helpful, devoted, and understanding have been cited as stereotypically feminine.
I'm using ALL my feminine spirit and it's working!
Absolutely agree 🙏amen
I don't do DRAMMA or take it period! I have my own PEACE from my GOD.
Amen to that sister
To the women: “you need to be his peace”
Also to the women: “you need to be ya own damn peace”
🙄Lol. If he wants me to be his peace, he needs to be mine as well. Period
One comes before the other.... and attitudes bounce off eachother too. Love yourself first then you can love others ... same concept ... and very easy.
You must not have listened all the way to the end.
Be my own peace and he can be his own peace then maybe we got something. But why am I doing all the giving 🤷🏽♀️
That part because some are never satisfied
And he needs to be his own peace like we're supposed to be....
If he doesn't want to be with you, all these things are just delaying the inevitable. I love Stephen's talks, and listen to his advice often! Thanks Stephen Speaks!
My pleasure ❤️
Exactly. They'll stay with you knowing you're not the one or type they want while telling you that you are. Then when the one is a little closer to what they really want comes along they cheat and / or leave you for her. Rinse and repeat
It’s unfortunate, that most women won’t listen to most of what your saying.It’s all about being your best authentic self. I don’t think you have to change for a man, but change for yourself. Taking care of yourself is major! Be in tuned with your own emotions, and know that everything doesn’t deserve a response or a physical reaction. If you are at peace with yourself, you will bring harmony to all of your relationships. Be positive and stay focused. It is okay to have your own thing going on, and he will try to figure out how to include himself and come into your world. I think you have to treat it like a friendship. Laugh, talk, and play. Remember to put yourself first,because men always put themselves first. Do not change, and become all about him to the point you lose all of yourself. That is how women become codependent on a man.
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
AMEN!! SO TRULY RIGHT! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT!
🎯🎯🎯🎯
PERIOD…💯
Oh my goodness this comment is golden ✨
🎵🎶No worries about a thing, because every little thing is going to be alright.🎶🎵
🙌
I have this as a sign above my bed. Every morning when I wake up I get reminded that no matter how hard things are now, everything is gonna be alright in the end.
Aww! My boyfriend who lives in the other side of the world sings this song to me and makes me sooo happy, i feel peace 😀 ..Thank you so much Stephan for your advice it is good to know coming from a man.. God bless u!
I was just singing that in my head
Every man and woman are responsible for having their own peace, dont depend on someone else to bring it to you. Its something no one can give you.
I met an amazing man four months ago. He described me as "You are the embodiment of peace of mind to me". The feeling is mutual.
Glad to hear that thank you for sharing!
Amazing now it’s always wonderful in the
Beginning. Keep an eye out and guard your heart also .
@@freshmanjeans 💯 agreed! It's been 10 months now. We've grown even stronger. One difference I can say for myself, I was in a 16 year marriage to a narcissist. He died two months after our divorce in 2018. Although he was a cheater, I decided to be faithful to God and as a result I was faithful in my marriage. This relationship today is the fruit of my labor. The guy before him, also, after my marriage, was very good but he had poor communication. Holy Spirit said to me, "Will you settle for good?". I cut off good and received my hearts desires. Like my marriage, I don't know how long it will last, but I endeavor to enjoy every moment.
This is beautiful
@@axangelou Thank you💜
Do men really worry about losing women!?! I have never thought they did. 🤔
01) Be his peace - men crave peace and a positive woman.
Women think Men crave all the women, all the vaginas, and all the drama. A woman can’t fake being peaceful 💯. Men tend to be chaotic 🤷🏻♀️
02) Speak love and positivity into that man. Be that source. He’ll want to be there and relaxed with you. Don’t be pessimistic. (Goes hand in hand with # 01)
I have blockage from being positive 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
03) Find out his specific needs and desires and actually provide these things. In a Positive and healthy manner/energy. Don’t assume what he wants. Do it on a regular basis and be consistent.
04) Start taking better care of yourself. It’s hard to be good when your not feeling good. Mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. You figure it out and find your best self.
But men really mean at a desirable weight and in shape and appearance to stay attractive as much as and as best as possible. 🤷🏻♀️ It’s that damn visual excuse they use. Sigh....... 😒
05) Learn how to listen to this man and use some logic. Don’t just react, breathe.
Men complain about a lack of transparency from the women. Men can’t read women’s minds.
I can’t prevent my reactions 🤷🏻♀️
06) Create your own world within the relationship. Don’t make your man your whole world and don’t smother him or become needy and draining. Don’t be bored by yourself, it wears down a guy. Go get friends or get a hobby. Volunteer! Don’t create a secret world from your guy though.
This is the one thing I am blessed with 🙏🏻 Phew! 😂🤣😂
07) Learn how to balance the relationship. Examine long successful and happily relationships. Work as a team to balance each other out. I handle this, you handle that. Become an asset to this relationship. You both can’t be managers and doers. Build!
08) Give consequences and rewards. If they are not going to do their part, they don’t get the benefits of you. He does his part, then he gets the best of you. There are standards and requirements that need to be met.
09) Be willing to walk away. If you can’t walk away, you lose. Find the strength to do what you need to do. He must know in order to keep you that he must do his part.
Special message: If he is the chaotic one, it’s best losing this man. There is nothing else to discuss or explore. This guy is not it.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Thank you!
Thank you😊
Thank you soooo much!!!!! I could not get through the video it was too much extra, unnecessary talking and explaining. I’m sure good info he just very, very long extra winded
God bless you
I've learned that men are pretty straight forward in what they say, whether it's by words or actions. We as women need to start taking them literally, even if it sounds unbelievable or we think we can change his mind. If change does come his actions and words will follow.
Most definitely!
Bingo!
This is a word!! I had to realize this very recently.
OK!!!!
Women don't listen to men. They are very straight forward tbh. They'll tell you they are not ready or interested etc but the woman decides to interpret it as "let me just stick around hell come around"
Great tips. I hung onto every word. Got it! ❤️ I am twice removed from the lectures, counseling and advices that we as woman should be doing, while the men are getting a pat on the shoulders with the vibes, "Hang in there. You will find a good woman." I truly understand that it is more profitable to get at the women, then it is the men, which is why there are sooooo experts instructing women these days on how to be a good woman. So for now, I am done with the note taking, done with searching or even done with the interest of being in a healthy relationship right now. If it happens, it happens. Doing me, seems to be a much better place. And of course I am ready for more than "Average Joe!" And got plenty of "solid advice" to last a lifetime.🤗❤️🤗
Yup! 🥰
You're so right. It comes down to being their doormat until the next one comes along. Then blaming you for them cheating or leaving. Can never be the man's fault, they're just so perfect
So true. I have work, kids and school. But I have dedicated myself to loving myself. I’m down three dress sizes, I’m working on myself and asking the Lord to help me in the areas where I’m struggling. And I have cut off all the negative folks. I have decided to be by myself.
❤❤❤❤❤
💞💘 amen
U go girl
I need to go back to loving myself💯
❤ amen I agree 💯
If a man really loves you, he will never let you walk out of his life and if he knows that he's the cause of all of the problems but doesn't want to be held accountable, then that's when he'll let you go. I realized that i was a gem and i wasn't valued or appreciated, so i left.
I love all of this because it could be named "How to Make Sure You Stay Your Best and Happiest Self in Your Relationship" and still make complete sense. They can only see the value we affirm for ourselves first.
I believe our morals and values should match each other's if not walk away! Know matter if you like the person or their outer exterior appearance that's pleasing to the eye, but dangerous to our energy and soul!
Thank you for sharing, I appreciate your feedback.
Absolutely. That's why we should only apply this to the individual worth our while. Not everyone desrves your love.
@@quiqui5793 Exactly!
After 18 years, my former became someone who I did not know. It was not worth endangering my life, so I:" learned the lessons;, forgave him,; forgave myself; closed the doors and left". Peace is what's important. No harm, no foul.
your so brave!amazing.
1 be his peace. 2 speak love and positivity 3 needs and desires 4 take better care of yourself 5 appearence 6 have your own world 7 balance in the relationship 8 consequences 9 be able to walk away.
±2347030894892⏯️⏯️ Hello it's works i can't believe am with my love again message him he can help you too
Text him on Whatsapp ( His name is Dr Steve)
Ty
❤️
You're perfectly on point!
i was too sweet to him that he got overconfident that i'm always available and will be there for him. now he's keeping me in the backseat, meeting other women , ignoring me through days. he's emotionally draining me to the point that i'm not in my good mind anymore. i just can't be it sucks
Men like to chase. Men LOVE to chase. Don’t be available 24/7. Don’t open your legs all the time. Value your time. Play hard to get
I agree 100%Play hard to get.
Just be that god fearing women of God. Just be that women with confidence in your slef and loveing on yourself.
“Be your own damn peace”... gorgeous manifestations of self-growth.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate that!
Your welcome✨... blessing King.
Suggestion to the women: flirting with another guy in front of him to prove you can replace him hurts your case. I'd say 13 out of 10 times the guy will lose interest(cant speak for everyone). I don't want to deal with a woman who puts me in a worry mindset like if i mess up i could be replaced.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I appreciate your feedback!
Mature, down to earth women don't do that. Could be an age thing.
. I agree, and a major insecurity issue. Men are attracted to Confidence.
Lol this makes you sound weak ... men are going to flirt w your woman .. how she reacts does say everything she
@@quiqui5793 yeah that makes me furious an old gf did that to 1 on my co workers one time outside of work
Be his Peace 🤔 I was that but to my unknowing I was just an option - someone he came to when he was either lonely or the other women he dealt with were I guess frustrating him. Upon our parting (me ending things with him bc of the in and out he was doing) he told me he cared a lot abt me at the same time I was not what he wanted. Basically, he said all our moments were a lie. Very selfish. I even spoke love into him and uplifted him. Could you speak on how not to get caught up with the type of men who see women to fill voids that men have within? It's extremely messed up to find out you were just a placeholder.
Sis, pay attention to all the Red Flags during the "getting to know you" phase. Don't ignore the signs or your intuition. Trust yourself. Allow God's Holy Spirit to lead and guide you.....right out the damn door, if need be.
We teach people how to love us by the examples we show when loving ourselves. People do what we allow.
Know your worth and make others respect it!
#Self Love 💖💞
@@quiqui5793 : 💯🎯
I'm sorry that you had to experience that. That must've been such a hurtful experience.😔I pray that God will send you the partner that He has in mind for you.🙏🏾
There called Narcissist
@@Qutypie22 Amen sis
Thank you for the ending message! That helped a lot and it’s been more than week since I’ve heard from him. I’m thankful I met him and did what I needed and don’t argue and express I needed the same love back, I just blessed him in silence and stopped contact and wished him well.
Never be ALWAYS available. Hopefully you have a life apart from your Partner.
Will you explain why being always available is wrong?
@@FruityUnicorn17 YES! Your not special anymore... mystery is gone...you become Boring. Men love a challenge.
@@CrystalDatingCoach thanks for your explanation. It makes so much sense.
@@FruityUnicorn17 Hard to get works ALL the time.😉
@@FruityUnicorn17 means you're too clingy and that's annoying and tiring af .. plus you need your own life surely as a grown person.
Exactly!!! He finally said it- START TAKING BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST & ALWAYS!!!
Absolutely!
He told me im annoying because I was right and he didnt want to admit it. He told me i want to much and he didnt like that i have pulmonary hypertension. I walk away I can do better and dont deserve that.
just started today listening to Stephan and what he say makes sense very inspiring and informative thanks for sharing
If you can’t speak love and positivity to yourself you won’t be able to do it to anyone else. Practice self love affirmations
You're absolutely right!
The 1st one is really good for me. I love being a man’s peace & soft place to land. It seems that it would also invoke vulnerability from him which means he trusts you and that’s a great thing.
Glad to hear that, thank you for your response!
So I’m hearing only what he needs and wants is all that matters and to Kiss his bottom. Please do this……. I’m interested in hearing you do this same type of video to the Men BUT for us WOMAN so they can understand exactly what we NEED. Just know I’m all for what you’re saying but it goes both ways and not just one way ( their way) Men need to learn how to compromise, & communicate with the right attitude in a Loving way. Mic Drop!!! Thanks for your video. Love is a two way street
Thank you for watching, I appreciate your feedback, and you've made a great suggestion, I will add it to my list to get it done!
Everybody is different but if I walk into a new relationship with the mindset of trying to figure out how to make this guy fear losing me, I probably need to work on my self esteem because that's an exhausting game that one probably won't win. If a man\woman don't care about you, they just won't care about you no matter what you do. You can't make anyone do something they don't want to do. Trying to force or make someone do something or having the fear of losing someone is an unhealthy habit. If I have a fear of losing you, I don't need you which means you weren't meant to be apart of my life. If you have a fear of losing me, what did you really do? 🕵 I've been there. The #1 most important gift a person can give themselves is self-love. Why pour from a cup that you know is empty? Just like you mentioned, you have to have that love in you in order to give it out. If your mentality is not straight, don't date. Mental Health will always be important & no man is worth losing my mind over but that's just me. Relationships are meant to be fun, lighthearted as well as a learning experience. Slow and steady wins the race. Take thing's with a grain of salt and keep learning life🌻
Amen.
So true so true
Don't none of this stuff works for some men. You can be nice, sweet, positive and supportive. But you won't get it back and He'll push and push until you are nothing. I believe that a man should be this also.
Yup 👍
That's a man who doesn't love you. Find a man that adores you .... all this will be easy
#8,9 hit the spot. I know I have a lot to work on, but when a man feels like he can do whatever and still reap benefits and not change. That's where it ends.
That's most of them
Be your own peace. Nobody can take it from you when you cultivated it for yourself. It can only be taken from you if you have not set boundaries. This applies to the good men and good women. 🇬🇧💚
Thank you very much I'm happy to hear that 🙌
Facts
True