The fundamental game of human relationships: learn to get what you want

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  • Опубликовано: 16 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 86

  • @daniellecharming
    @daniellecharming 2 года назад +153

    "The way a person says 'no' gives a clue to how to get them to say 'yes'".... Brilliant! I wrote this on a sticky note and taped it to my computer to remind me as I make sales calls. Thank you!

    • @psychacks
      @psychacks  2 года назад +37

      Absolutely. All successful salesmen are masters of the game of please-no. They can "read" the customer quickly and adopt their strategy appropriately.

    • @Jai2ez
      @Jai2ez 11 месяцев назад +3

      Sticky notes taped to your desk aren't going to change who you are. Either you are, or you aren't. Either you do, or you don't.

  • @tyshat3371
    @tyshat3371 2 года назад +54

    Love your response to Dyarl Lewis: “No is just information, rather than personal rejection.” Brilliant!

  • @thecurrentmoment
    @thecurrentmoment Год назад +30

    What I think is that you should've expanded on how to listen to their no so you can effectively work towards a yes. You left us hanging there, but if you know asked "would you like me to go into more detail?", my answer would definitely be yes

  • @rougebaba3887
    @rougebaba3887 Год назад +7

    There is something very appropriate about a trained actor having a deep understanding of human interactions.

  • @performxl
    @performxl Год назад +14

    Please make more videos unpacking these concepts. Specifically, how to turn the “no”s into “yes”

  • @CyberPunk.Lawyer
    @CyberPunk.Lawyer 2 года назад +30

    Maybe the most brilliant observation of human interaction (and reality itself) I've ever seen. This guy is something special.

  • @idlehourlinda6476
    @idlehourlinda6476 2 года назад +46

    What do I think? I think you are quickly becoming my coach in this game of life ( and of course all of the games within the game!) Thanks for opening my mind to new ways of thinking about these concepts. 💕

    • @psychacks
      @psychacks  2 года назад +9

      I appreciate your support, Linda. I'm glad you're finding value in the channel.

  • @KeiPyn24
    @KeiPyn24 Год назад +6

    This is a key factor/game in sales. One no away from a Yes!

  • @Haze_Loto
    @Haze_Loto Год назад +5

    This remember me to my economy class (thanks Mr. Gallo and Mr. Gee). The scarcity of resources, cost benefit analysis and the exchange. Thanks doc for another great advice 🙌

  • @richardng1
    @richardng1 2 года назад +8

    This... is powerful! That's so true... that we go to people because we want something from them. Is that selfish of people? Not really. People tend to do what benefits them! I eat because I'm hungry. I talk to someone because I want a connection. I go to work for a paycheck. Etc. So, life is a game of turning nos into yeses. Want to go out with me? Will you hire me? Will you do me a favor? You mentioned a couple of categories that the pleaser's tactic could fall under. Seduction, intimidation, humor, supplication (begging), and sincerity. The bulk of the game is knowing which tactic to use at which moment that will most effectively convince the person to say yes. And, if one listens and observes closely, then one can always deduce a clue from a person's no about how to obtain a yes from then. But then, if a girl rejects me, am I supposed to leave it at that, or do I keep asking for a yes with different approaches?

    • @MsCankersore
      @MsCankersore Год назад +1

      Leave it at that homie. There are way too many women to be constantly hounding that one girl. Unless you absolutely don’t care for the outcome and are merely just experimenting then I suggest you carry on your merry way

    • @kaankideys3467
      @kaankideys3467 2 месяца назад

      Leave it at that man, your number one priority should be her comfort and safety, you don't want her to feel unsafe around you and that you won't respect the no.

  • @musicbrazilian7065
    @musicbrazilian7065 2 года назад +6

    Some people have so much ego that instead of hearing what the other person has to say they are busy preparing what are they going to say next. Studying human nature has opened my eyes.

    • @psychacks
      @psychacks  2 года назад +3

      Hearing is one thing. Listening is another.

  • @vijay_64800
    @vijay_64800 2 года назад +13

    Nice to know more about you Doctor. I completely agree that a persons response varies depending on our way of approach and their mood. This is a interesting topic and the way you have explained it with precise details is very helpful.

    • @psychacks
      @psychacks  2 года назад +3

      Thanks for your support, Vijay :)

    • @vijay_64800
      @vijay_64800 2 года назад +1

      @@psychacks Welcome Doctor and it's a pleasure to watch and learn from your videos. Thank You too 🙏😊

  • @randyl5205
    @randyl5205 10 месяцев назад

    This one is a top 5 of yours. Amazing stuff Orion!

  • @TorontoKaraokeClub
    @TorontoKaraokeClub 2 года назад +2

    Great prespectives. You covered a lot of ground. Kept it in my watch later just in case I have to see it again.

  • @determinedsj
    @determinedsj 2 года назад +5

    Hello, is there anywhere I can go to see the "please no" game played out? Can you complete this on your channel if there are no examples? Thank you. Great information here.

    • @psychacks
      @psychacks  2 года назад +5

      As far as I know, there are no recordings of the game being played in my alma mater. However, there are examples of the game being played in books and movies all the time. I plan to explore this idea in future episodes. So stay tuned.

  • @keithkollenbaum
    @keithkollenbaum 2 года назад +2

    Outstanding. Your best. The basis of all human interaction condensed in five minutes.

  • @ImWORTHITINC
    @ImWORTHITINC 8 месяцев назад

    can you teach more about this? like how we can hear the "clue" in the "No"/?? THIS IS FASCINATING!! TELL ME MORE PLEASE!!

  • @Killer-ct4vt
    @Killer-ct4vt Год назад +1

    Very interesting idea, so i want to know how you understand the clue of the other part when they say no

  • @cuansaham2532
    @cuansaham2532 Год назад

    awesome simple explanation !! , THANKS

  • @Nando_lifts2021
    @Nando_lifts2021 Год назад +4

    Very ambiguous video

  • @2007beet
    @2007beet 2 года назад +1

    okay, now this vid explains it better than the previous one. although it could just be me but this is far more engaging. thanks doc, you're the best!

  • @michgd
    @michgd Месяц назад

    Thanks!

  • @kirksteinklauber260
    @kirksteinklauber260 Год назад

    Very interesting concept!!! Thanks for sharing it and explain it

  • @The1stJack
    @The1stJack Год назад +2

    I'm confused by the rules of the game. He said one person can only say yes or no. (Starting from the "no" position) Makes sense so far. But then the other can only say please. How do you ask for anything if all you can say is please?

  • @mitchellbaldridge1281
    @mitchellbaldridge1281 Год назад

    Brilliant!!!

  • @bellatindale3120
    @bellatindale3120 Год назад

    Excellent ❤

  • @KomalSingh-cm8gc
    @KomalSingh-cm8gc Год назад

    Very helpful!

  • @megyerizsuzsadora
    @megyerizsuzsadora 2 года назад +6

    What an authentic video! Maybe you could come up with other examples from your acting career in future episodes?
    (Actually, working with actors and musicians inspired me to study psychology.)

    • @psychacks
      @psychacks  2 года назад +3

      My background in acting has helped me as a therapist in more ways than I can count.

  • @DoctorGravity642
    @DoctorGravity642 Год назад

    Dear PsycHacks, thank you for yet another excellent video! Is there a book you recommend we can read further on this subject? Thank you, keep up the good work!

  • @germanramirez5708
    @germanramirez5708 11 месяцев назад +1

    Can you make a video on how it is played

  • @Danaclerici
    @Danaclerici 2 года назад +3

    Another great video ! Learned so much !!

    • @psychacks
      @psychacks  2 года назад

      Thanks for the love, Dana :)

  • @irshadazeez4764
    @irshadazeez4764 Год назад

    This is awesome

  • @geargail
    @geargail 2 года назад

    *When in doubt - getting a dictionary is invaluable. ( Password, The Game Show... With Former Host, Actress Bette White - from Golden Girls )

  • @talhadaud3785
    @talhadaud3785 7 месяцев назад

    Where can I find more info on game please-no

  • @SisiTsoi
    @SisiTsoi 2 года назад +1

    But any mention on the sides of masculine and feminine? I don't think you can play the 'please' if you are the feminine..

  • @hanaamr3685
    @hanaamr3685 2 года назад

    Thanks. Wld u pls explain how to get them. To say yes by understanding different kind of "no"

    • @psychacks
      @psychacks  2 года назад

      Hm. There is no one size fits all strategy here. So it would be hard to put into words. However, a good rule of thumb is the more forceful the "no," the "colder" you are in your approach.

    • @mosesazu7547
      @mosesazu7547 8 месяцев назад

      ​@@psychackscolder instead? I was thinking being warm softens.

  • @sebastianoquendo8257
    @sebastianoquendo8257 Год назад

    Cool and valuable video!! I also studied theater and is the best laboratory to experience life!! I will reach you for a consultation. I want some advise about either to study Philosophy or Social Psychology or both!

  • @gregoryyoung4604
    @gregoryyoung4604 Год назад

    Dude, you're at the top of the list for fellas I'd like to have a shot and a beer!

  • @niklase5901
    @niklase5901 Год назад

    This is very interesting, but it would be very helpful with some examples. In what ways can a no contain information? I believe people obfuscate the real reason they say no, sometimes because they don’t want to offend.

  • @bsdiceman
    @bsdiceman Год назад

    Great content!

  • @geargail
    @geargail 2 года назад +1

    Neighbor, across the street - lacks energy to do maintenance with front yard. ( COVID Virus ) *assisted in doing that...yet pitched in a pair of chairs for outside seating.)

  • @MarkL-we8uk
    @MarkL-we8uk Год назад

    Nice Icebreaker

  • @JAdams-jx5ek
    @JAdams-jx5ek Год назад

    Hmmm. I haven't thought of life that way.... I'm going to pay more attention.

  • @dyarllewis3653
    @dyarllewis3653 2 года назад +6

    I am interested in how one goes about practicing, so as to become adept at playing this game. Any suggestions?

    • @TheBraunzone
      @TheBraunzone 2 года назад +1

      Simple create an explicit value and say no until they offer your price but try to stay away from the request position. You do this by maintaining opinions so that you don't beg for a yes. Instead they suggest a deal.

    • @psychacks
      @psychacks  2 года назад +5

      Most human interactions are an opportunity to practice, as there is usually some need that's been transacted in the exchange. Flexibility and sensitivity are both very useful -- as is the ability to understand that "no" is simply information (as opposed to a personal rejection).

  • @worldsyoursent.1635
    @worldsyoursent.1635 Год назад

    Cool

  • @bsdiceman
    @bsdiceman Год назад

    Hello, I love this idea. I want to help you film a demonstration of this idea. I live near NYC. I have done improvisational experience and would like to do the please no game and film it for content for your viewers.

  • @donnacasserly7630
    @donnacasserly7630 2 года назад +1

    Pretty interesting game! I shall set out tomorrow and try my hand at it! 😊 loving your videos doc!

    • @psychacks
      @psychacks  2 года назад

      Thanks for watching, Donna. Keep coming back.

  • @roses6564
    @roses6564 9 месяцев назад

    Person: Can you please stay away from me?
    World: NO!!

  • @Angell_Lee
    @Angell_Lee 2 года назад +1

    You are so cool, thank you! I subed :)

    • @psychacks
      @psychacks  2 года назад +1

      Welcome, Angel. I hope you enjoy the channel.

  • @georgeakinian9804
    @georgeakinian9804 6 месяцев назад

    So if you get a no. Start begging basically. Could also qualify as harassment after a second try. Are you saying we should non verbally start asking? I don’t get it.

  • @axl1002
    @axl1002 Год назад

    So every married couple is ready for Oscar reward by the 10th year.

  • @RichardHartl
    @RichardHartl Год назад

    I wish I could believe this but I'm skeptical, to me a no is just a no from women. They've never changed their minds with me, not once

  • @polishmeow8298
    @polishmeow8298 Год назад

    Can you recommend a book that discusses a similar idea? You've discussed this "please-no" in a very interesting way.

    • @WildMidwest1
      @WildMidwest1 Год назад +1

      Notmsure if this answers your request, but Chris Voss’ book “Never Split the Difference” delves into the power of ‘No,’ with an entire chapter written on the subject. It is an amazingly practical book once you get beyond Voss’ recurring self promotion narratives.

    • @polishmeow8298
      @polishmeow8298 Год назад

      @@WildMidwest1 Thank you for the recommendation! I've encountered this book a couple of times. It is often recommended. I checked it now since you've mentioned. I just read the author's a former FBI hostage negotiator. Very interesting. Thanks again!

  • @AnRodz
    @AnRodz Год назад

    Haha kind of voodoo "for listen those know how to"

  • @turtlesauce482
    @turtlesauce482 Год назад +2

    "Please no" is the worst possible name for a game about trying to get a sexual partner 😅

  • @xcryptgames4410
    @xcryptgames4410 Год назад

    This might work, but it's a hack. Real Games do not use hacks, unless they are Ethical.

  • @lph9164
    @lph9164 Год назад

    First you have to learn the rules of the game then you can play better then anyone else.Albert Einstein
    If you are not following the basic rules then it is not a game it is just bullshit

  • @JoeHeine
    @JoeHeine Год назад +1

    Actor…? More like a salesman

  • @melihekinci7758
    @melihekinci7758 Год назад

    manipulation for predators..

  • @kyoza1911
    @kyoza1911 7 месяцев назад

    You always present something that leads to nothing, Your thoughts never finish themselves, and you always come up with questions and record a clip with never presents a real answer. I listen to you for a while and come to the conclusion that this may be your brain limit.

  • @PlushPenguinPal
    @PlushPenguinPal Год назад +2

    I’m over 4 minutes in and I haven’t understood a single word he’s said. I have no clue what on earth he’s talking about.