One day, I hope to be able to love like the Sun. In this episode, I discuss what that means by examining the exultant humility of the star in the center of our solar system. The Sun is one of our best models of the generosity, abundance, and indifference that constitute the most elevated forms of love, and its teachings are freely available to us all. If you're ready to up your game, and move beyond the exchange of value that characterizes relationships, this episode is for you. Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: ruclips.net/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/видео.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: ruclips.net/channel/UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #love #sun
On one hand you say one doesn't need love to be in a relationship , and on the other hand if one isn't feeling loved you should leave. I'm not saying this is wrong, however don't you feel the yearning for love or certain feelings greatly negate the feeling of duty in relationships (especially marriage) and would this, in part explain the high divorce rates and breaking down of the nuclear family?
Thank you for this video! Do you have tips for becoming more extroverted? I feel like with age, the introverted side has taken over and maybe it has to do with energy levels overall with more responsibilities in life but would love to hear about this topic--thanks!
@TotenKopf11 Life doesn’t have to be a struggle in most places until we crowd so many people together food sources are destroyed and disease spreads with our breath.
But we are not planets. I’ve had numerous samadhis and almost took final vows as a nun so I’m familiar with what true and real and the highest love are. When I am quite “solar” men have no idea what to do with the benevolence I’ve realized men don’t want love from women. They want allegiance. All ego. Men can’t even handle an abundantly loving woman. It turns them all around and then they devalue you. This Sun analogy is good to teach men how to be loving. But majority of women who are not egotistical already know and emulate this. They’re the ones getting walked all over.
Entering samadhi doesn’t mean much in itself. Women crave Yang/Masculine energy which is solar and exhuberant in nature. Shy introvert men don’t get girls. The deal is, that warm solar energy can unlock all the pussies, so generally you need to deal with men who naturally attract lots of women. And everybody knows women love the men who are already popular with girls. If you want exclusive love from a man just go for the average guy, but you don’t want him.
Absolutely. Been there and it feels really good. Problem is people take you for granted and can be cruel in return. Pains me to accept it, but my self esteem has plummeted and have felt depressed ever since realizing this.
8:25-8:46 really resonated with me. When my ex-fiancée dumped me I had no problem letting her go because it was what she wanted and all I wanted was for her to be happy; I then mourned what I had lost over the following months but had no long-lasting ill effects. I dumped my last girlfriend in anger because of everything she did to me; it took me years to let go and find peace. I loved this episode Dr. Taraban. This is a great message to spread along.
Commenting here mostly for myself - I'm waking up to the idea that I have repressed anger and it explains a lot. The funny thing is the relationship that blew up and hurts so bad even a year and a half on isn't the one that was causing me anger. This is childhood stuff and old relationship stuff that came up to poison what was a great relationship otherwise. Thanks for commenting.
8:02 If you feel betrayed, or unappreciated, or unreciprocated, then just let go and find someone else. 9:14 If you're not getting what you want from a relationship, just move on and continue to shine. I learned a long time ago you can't control other people's actions or emotions. Only your own. Those two aforementioned quotes reinforce this truth.
For me, the crazy part is.. I actually find it much more easier to be "unconditionally loving" towards random strangers, than it is close loved ones. If a stranger needs help jumping their battery, carrying their groceries, etc. I'll help them in a heartbeat without even thinking twice about being paid back. However... when it's a person I see on a consistent basis (family, friend, co-worker, etc.), it becomes increasingly harder for me to constantly show love to them without eventually expecting some sort of reciprocation.. Like, it's only when I find myself pouring into the same person over and over again, where my well is most likely to run dry if I don't feel loved in return. Not sure if this is good, bad, normal, abnormal, but yeah. That's how it is for me.
It's easier to be kind, authentic, and generous towards people you've not yet formed relations with because you don't have any baggage, but people close to you also need it. I haven't thought of 'reciprocation' in at least 10 years.
same here. My ex gf even told me how come you're nicer to strangers than me? I dont know, maybe because they are grateful and dont complain when I go out of my way to help them..?
True story this is a dynamic that happens a lot. Especially in marriage. A stranger is not known and a person may always precieve them as good where family is known and seen for who they are. This is to be taken seriously to overcome if you wish to choose and have a successful marriage
This is one of your best videos. I've listened to them and I haven't quite connected because I do not view my friends and relationships in terms of transactions. I remember I did a little as a kid, but I've loved like the sun for as long as I can remember now. Its very possible. I give because I see there is a need, and their response is irrelevant. I feel nothing in return when giving and joy or apathy is returned. Because its not why you're doing it. Its the knowledge that you assisted where it was needed that counts. Even then, there's not a lot of emotion there. I think true love is cerebral. Its not emotional. Our emotional attachments to friends and family are not love. It is when we accept and help the people around us despite our emotions, because there is the knowledge that they need this, that is the real expression of love.
To give is to serve your own needs. No you’re not holy or you’ve broken the code. You’re like every one of us self serving our own wants and needs. Nice try though, masking that you’ve made it and give unconditional and with “pure love” There’s a need with much employment. I guess start there filling your towns lack of employment and go give your time for free with nothing expected in return. 😂. Just trapped you. Funny how your “giving” is selective. Wonder what needs are being met selectivity giving where you do Something to ponder on and realize. Yep. You’re still that kid only masking you’re transactions.
I tried this with a girl I was seriously attracted to and I found myself nervous because I was also neglecting my own needs. We're not perfect like the sun. Being clear about wanting reciprocity is healthier.
It is nobody's business whom you love. You don't have to bury that feeling. Just be happy that you are one who is able to love. It is not even the business of the one(s) you love. But discussing about engaging in a long term relationship, then only choose reciprocal, mutual connection, one that makes you thrive, both of you. Never pester somebody with your loving feelings, they are yours, and nobody's business nor responsibility - just keep on being a decent person in all your conduct. Then love and appreciate those who love you, think: there's a person with good taste and all! Among those you'll find one to build a mutually satisfying relationship with.
You’re misunderstanding what Mr. Taraban is saying and you were never loving like the sun because you still needed something. The Sun simply shines and doesn’t need anything from you. Loving is simply its nature because it’s what it is and it simply can’t stop loving. As long as you need something from someone, you can’t Love them. To seek love is to imply its nonexistence, which means you haven’t embodied Love yet. When you’re whole and happy by yourself and you don’t need anything from anyone anymore to be happy, it is only then that you can Love like the sun. But that’s a hard state to attain so yes, rather than pretending to be loving like the Sun, it is healthier to express wanting reciprocity.
You tried this in a relationship, yet his whole point was, love can't be part of a relationship. Relationships are trasnactional. Love is not. Watch the video again and maybe you'll understand.
I've always take a pride in my ability to loves people in my life that won't ever gives me back any of it. At one point a girl felt the love I was radiating and fell in love with me. Never have I felt to be loved romantically like that, and it made me fall in love with her. We were in a happy and loving relationship for 3,5 years. Last year she no longer feel that love, and last month she dumped me. I on the other end, always had my love for the women that came before her and still have the love I had for her. She found another man and I know for a fact that it is better for her to be with him. It hurt so much, yet I have to let her go. Today I'm going to lie to her and tell her I've lost my love for her, it will ease her mind so that she can be happier with her new man. Without your videos on love and relationships, I wouldn't be able to love her fully like that. Now with this video I also realize that I can still spread loves and be happier about it rathsr than focusing on the relationship that she gave up upon. I will keep loving, and try to be as close as possible to the sun. Thank you sir, some people might not understand your words, but for those who do, it is such a blessing. I hope to be like you one day.
Just, wow. I've spent many years as a student of esoteric knowledge and never have a heard such a more succinct and eloquent explanation of our Sun's all consuming presence. Bravo, again, good Doctor!
Love is a beautiful feeling. When we give love to someone, we are giving a part of our feeling to them. Such is the charm of love that it makes you feel like a kid running in green meadows on a sunny day, flying its kite, it makes you feel that life is worthwhile ❤.
This is the kind of Love that Jezus displayed, the love where we can be in , a love that does not want, the only sort of love that is freely given and is so great that it cannot be ignored: the sun is the son !
Starting the video. I'm intrigued because I had a 12 year marriage that absolutely fell apart, and I'm in a five year LTR that is doing very well, and I attribute our current success and mutual satisfaction owing precisely to becoming very clear about an exchange of value. We both consistently work hard to make sure the other is not feeling taken advantage of. And when we become aware of that feeling, we bring it up in a non-volatile way and seek to balance things out. So, now I'll start your video because I'm intrigued and I'll report as a reply.
I'm finishing a book about my love story and now I'm not suffering anymore. I'm not even sure if I will show him the art that I poured in the form of words. I'm just grateful that he expanded my emotions. Thank you for your videos. They really help me to get up again. Wish you the sun!
@@lauren4434 how kind of you for telling me that, thank you Lauren. Im still refining some chapters of that book. I sure feel so blessed for integrating that part in me. Hope you leave your fears behind and focus on what makes you happy and important. God bless you.
Truly you have inspired me. I have turned an apparent abandonment and rejection into a creativity that has served me and my relationship with God, and the expansion which came from apparent "failure" of the relationship I had wanted has been for me like a huge golden step up.. I chose this. Thank you, kindred soul, @@lilakurylski4590
This is also how I’ve always viewed love since a child Doc. I’m able to love a woman with all my heart but I’m a very unattached man. I’ve had many relationships throughout my life but they never work out because I don’t like being attached to a woman for too long. Its gotten to a point now where all the women in my life seem to unconsciously know how I am by nature. I’m a loyal dude who stand on my word, they know even if I’m doing my own thing I will never abandon them, so they stay loyal to me. I show my women love, I don’t impose anything on them, they are free to live their lives as they please. As life go by, they always stay attached to me in some way because I stimulate their minds and bodies. Relationships aren’t my thing, but women who understand me always experience the time of their lives.💯💯
Just read your post and I'm going to practice unattachment. I'm the guy that usually puts buffers in place to protect my investment. I was told though "that it feels like walking on eggshells"...I am open to care and loving a woman, but now i need to work on removing myself and not trying to control everything
Excellent metaphor. I feel like this video was made for me because very recently, I've discovered my sun powers! I've quit being emotionally attached to my expectations of others and I 100% believe that all I need is myself. It's been truly liberating.
The metaphor should not be overly stretched, though. Thinking of yourself as approximating our sun's abundance appears as narcissistic, I prefer to shine for people that have, or might have, some kind of relationship with me. Metaphorically, light always is accompanied by shadow, at least on this earth.
@EK-mi6zn I see what you're saying. I think that this sun metaphor is actually antithetical to narcissistic behavior. Being indifferent means you aren't perturbed or compromised by an outcome. You (like the Sun) should give of yourself without any expectation of recognition or reward. This is charity. And It should go without saying, you shouldn't abandon your self-improvement mindset as well as your good manners. Although, I suppose that indifference alone would be narcissistic. And yes, light does cast a shadow. But what is a shadow? It is darkness diminished!
This is so good. I've basically witnessed the same thing in myself where at the point where I told my significant other that I'd love her, it was to some level replaceable. Like... don't get me wrong it's not that ANY other woman could have sat there next to me, but I just felt this sense of deep love, respect and contentment for myself which I was able to express to the outside world and I feel like after this moment everything changed for me, I would not get upset about rejection of the love I was giving anymore.
It's difficult to remove the ego when it comes to expressing love with another person, because on some level you desire reciprocation. Getting that return for your investment equates to your value in a way, and yet you give away a lot of your own power in the process. Loving just to love is definitely a worthwhile goal. Great video.
reciprocation is vital for normal human beings unless you're a narcissist who expects nothing from anyone because you only love yourself and don't value anything from others.
So beautiful! You really brought it home for me with the example of our children playing in the distance. And it gave me a whole new appreciation for the scripture, "God is love." Thank you!
Can you elaborate on the bit about, "When you feel love, what you're actually experiencing is your own love leaving you. That's true for all emotions."
thanks Dr, i literally got out of a relationship last month, i felt like my love wasn´t been reciprocated, so instead of turning bitter and vengeful towards her, i just let her go, i stopped focusing on her and instead i just focus on my goals, told her that i´m not gonna make her be with me against her own will, so we are now again walking are own paths, it is a strange feeling but very refreshing, focusing on doing actions because they are the things that make you feel meaning in life, i still have the memories which make me feel i´m carrying some extra luggage, but as time goes on, day by day it feels lighter, just keep living and loving, because it is the right way of living, be your best possible version!
There’s genius in you Sir! You have made my life a better experience in multiple ways. Very much appreciated and I wish you all enrichment you have gifted to us all your watchers. Shine on Sir!
Hi Orion, I enjoy your videos and impressed with your tenacity which brought your channel well deserved popularity (and thus it appeared in my feed :). I can tell that you do not have kids. Yeah, how someone before me noticed well passion lasts 3 years, love lasts 7. I stayed in marriage for 10 more years, until my daughter was ready to go to college..
Thank you! Recently I’ve been wondering about that idea of being too nice too people and your discussion here encouraged me to not worry if people can’t handle kindness, it’s not my problem they can go on living in fear as much as they want. Meanwhile I can enjoy being kind when possible simply because it’s a pleasure. Thank you.
Linkin Park said - “ The sun doesn't give light to the moon assuming The moon's gonna owe it one” From a young age this resonated with me and you’ve just put words to what I felt all these years. Much love and power to you sir
Some other comments here seem to mix up again relationships with love. Guys, these two concepts Orion tries to tell apart. When my son should ask me later, "didn't you love Mommy?" (we are separated), the right answer will be "we tried to have a relationship and failed, not meeting each other's expectations". Nothing to do with love in anyway. If we feel or felt love for each other before, during, even after the separation is written on a totally different page - one that is completely independent as well as irrelevant to the continued relationship question. Thank you, Orion, for this clarification
Every human relationship is a transaction. Whenever someone helps you is because either it’s THEIR JOB (meaning they help others for a living) or it’s a family member or even a significant other who needs you because of the value you provide to them.
@@DesiresAttackVirtues I am not interested in arguing with a random on the internet. I'll just say that you're in for a rude awakening. There is no need for me to explain why; life will teach you. Have a wonderful day.
@@DesiresAttackVirtues People help strangers in an environment where strangers helped them in the past. It's still give and take, just reciprocating with different people instead of the same person. When you love someone, the feeling of love you get is the reward, and the help you give freely to the subject of that love, your payment. Only when you love equally and shines on everyone under the sun, do you love like the sun. You are neither Jesus Christ or Buddha, you do not love like the sun. Your love is towards a specific object, and you receive as the euphoria of loving that object.
Great!!, real love is a virtue, trascending the ego its a must, love its like the scent of a flower. “Radiate boundless love towards the entire world - above, below, and across - unhindered, without ill will, without enmity.” - Buddha
Accept your nature, if you give, and give and get nothing for it, you will feel resentful, unless you believe you will get a prize in "afterlife" for your deeds.
That's why most religions have to sell you on the "Heaven's Reward" fallacy. There's no evidence for Heaven or Hell other than BELIEF. It's like believing in Santa Claus but for adults that can't bear reality.
The entire expaination makes perfect logical sense, but what I found to be particularly interesting is the example of the parent watching in the distance and the conclusion that comes from it i.e. the highest response to love is joy and not some form of transaction or exchange. Even a feeling or demonstration of gratitude, praise, or appreciation, could become a repayment to the person expressing love, which would automatically relegate those responses to an inferior status compared to joy. Since joy is something that is personally experienced, it cannot be transactioned while maintaining its spontaneous nature - fake joy is not joy at all. This helped me understand that, while it's desirable to show this type of love to others, it's also essential to have the proper response when others show this kind of love to me.
I look at this kind of stuff the same way as a marketer. I would look at it like email marketing. Just give value and even if 20% of the emails I sent out are reciprocated with a purchase, 20% is an insanely successful percentage. Be grateful for that 20% success rate but be more focused adding more value to myself through becoming more valuable. Indifferent to outcome is the best way to be.
@@angrydragon4574 exactly. Of course they do. That’s why we always have to invest in ourselves more than others. We have to use whatever we do to attract others as something that betters ourself first and foremost.
Thanks for this gem and demonstrating its message at no cost to viewers. You and other creators like you help shine light on heavy subjects in ways that precipitate our best qualities. I remember a similar tale to your sand holding analogy only it was how to hold a lightning bug. I hope great things for you and yours.
What people feel the deepest is loving others - all the greatest love songs sing about the feeling of loving others, instead of the feeling of being loved.
I could never believe I still loved my ex since I was the one who ended it. I've struggled with the shame that I only stopped loving her when my needs weren't being met. Thank you for helping me understand that you can still love and leave someone.
Finally! A RUclipsr who’s saying things beyond the transactional, marketplace discourse in which most discussions about relationships are framed. What a relief!
Love like the sun. Indifferent & willing to burn up anything in its path. Take it from someone who has made the mistake of giving freely & expecting nothing. For most people, that which is free is worthless. Play that game with a woman & expect to be used up & discarded. She won't realize that sometimes clouds get in the way & the sun's warmth (provision) isn't as strong. She'll curse the sun & move on for greener pastures. It is always a purchase with them, although most won't admit it. Not even a purchase, really. It's a lease. Don't fool yourself into thinking these creatures can be any other way. There is a reason Socrates said, "I inscribe upon water the oaths of a woman".
Love is love you give and dont expect it in return at all, just give with no attachment if you desire, that maybe not be love but you just give because you care, thats why love is selfless, and probably nor you or your ex wife loved each other, fully selfless and unconditional, or maybe is just the problem of one in particular in that relationship, wich is okay to move on, just be sure you really love your green pasture, and your green pasture loves you back, in a good full of love relationship always is important anyways, or time to shine! to that you dont blame woman for something that is enjoyed for 2 people that are not narcissistic and dont have this problem in relationship but dedicate trully and healthy to stay for each other regardless the time, the war of genders just benefit the ones who want to divide societies
Am intrigued by your perspective that relationships are so essentially transactional that they are basically contracts. Can you do a follow-up presentation on the gender differences in the experiences and perspectives of love, and how that may vary between mixed-gender relationships, same-gender relationships, and multiple partner relationships?
Mostly on board with this.. as far as love goes, it does ring true. However, relationships are the means by which value is exchanged. As such, practicing this philosophy will set you in the loser position for relationships every time. Unlike the sun, we dont have unlimited resources to dole out. How are we to reconcile an unfair bargain when someone wishes to terminate a resource based bargain? For instance, having a child with someone when specific obligations are negotiated, only for them to abandon their post? Love has nothing to do with that situation.. love them all you like, but they still plunder the relationship assets for a profit at your expense. Materially, it seems no different than expecting the bank to forgive a loan simply because you dont feel emotionally like paying the mortgage anymore. Is it simply a matter of this is this and that is that? That we are talking about two seperate subjects? Or are we considering them the same thing? That we should write off relationship debts because of love? If that's the case, then we are in a huge pickle because of game theory. Love coupled with assets and obligations cannot operate in a vacuum like the sun. And our predicted reactions will always be exploited by those seeking our limited resources.
It's virtually meaningless to be perfectly honest. You might as well just say: "love but don't expect anything back". Or at least don't get angry at not getting anything back. And thats fine, I'd agree. But you have to at least be alert to not getting anything back otherwise-as you say-you'll just get taken advantage of. The sun shines anyway. It's not going out of it's way for anyone. We just happen to benefit from it's rays-but that's neither here nor there to the sun, so it'd have no reason to resent anyones "lack of gratitude". On the other hand, people who seek our "love" are not merely seeking to bask in our indifferent presence, they're seeking something performative from us for their own ends. It's another silly metaphor really, which the channel is apparently seeking to specialise in. Just say "don't get mad at people for the things you'd do freely anyway". Not "love like the sun". How on earth (literally) are we supposed to relate to a massive ball of plasma fuelled by nuclear fusion?
Taraban's coco loco manosphere transactional relationship stuff has gotten so deep he has circled back to ancient Egyptian Ra worship.... bring back traditional marriage
Normally your presentations make sense, Orion. Not this time. What you're describing is an abstract concept, a Platonic ideal of "love" - and Platonic ideal phenomena do not exist in reality. Nor is it desirable to strive to instantiate such ideal, "pure" phenomena. Failure and fanaticism lie in that direction. Love is not an abstract concept. It's a real experience that evolution endowed us with - via oxytocin and other neuroactive chemicals - to promote bonding and mutual care between couples, and in non-sexual versions, between caregivers and those they care for (notably children) and between close friends. "Love" is about the chemical basis of stable, devoted, caring relationships. It's not an abstraction. It's not a Platonic ideal. It's grittily real. And reciprocity is crucial to its healthy continuation. One-sided, unrequited love is a form of unwanted bonding - a form of mental illness, in fact. Please reconsider your concept of love. The advice you give in this particular episode of your often valuable show is seriously misdirected. To love is not, in fact, something we can or should do analogously to how the Sun bestows sunshine upon our planet, needing and expecting nothing in return. Healthy love is nothing like that. Reciprocity is fundamental to genuine and healthy love. Love is about ensuring *mutually* supportive relationship. It is possible and desirable to have a vaguely benign general attitude toward the world, to approach it with a general willingness to engage in constructive behaviors, to orient toward the light rather than darkness. That's a different matter. "Love" is the experience of powerful binding chemicals in specific relationships.
Did that loving like the sun bit for the first 20 years of my life. Only got drained and whiplash because I realized no one loved me at the end of the day. It was wrong of me to want to be loved and look for external love, but it was a great lesson on howI should love myself more above all.
This is the point he’s making… you love workout any attachment. You simply love (shine) because it gives life. Whether you get something back or not is not the point. You simply love regardless of who it is.
@@carlospita6442haha, trust me if I don’t receive some sort of reciprocity then I move on. You can choose how long you want to love on that individual. When you see there is no growth on that seed, it’s time to focus that energy elsewhere
The sun doesn't "love." It's just a ball of plasma and a giant fusion reactor hundreds of millions miles away from us. Sure, we need the sun for life, we also need the atmosphere for life too. I don't see the stars or the planet as a gift, I see it as the perfect placement for life to thrive and grow in the universe. And there's more than one planet with suitable conditions for life although they tend to be thousands of solar systems away from us.
@@silverlining6259 If it was a metaphor there'd be no need to personify the sun. This is the same stuff our ancient ancestors did 4,000 years ago, why are we bringing back concepts that died millenia ago?
this is actually deep and advanced. it is on a level or higher of seeing your partner cheating on you but accept it as the partner seems alright/happy with the third party and one moves on. I guess I could use this on my current situation as I'm gaining so much interest with my neighbor which I haven't felt probably since 15 years ago. However, she appears she's so sought after and likely not single anymore just recently. Now I'm more prepared to accept rejection.
“And still, after all this time, the Sun has never said to the Earth,‘You owe me.’ Look what happens with love like that. It lights up the sky.” -Jalaluddin Rumi
Purify your love. Ensure your intentions are selfless and authentic. Interestingly this attracts both light and darkness(narcs), when the latter show up it’s time for sunset (vanish). Very great video Dr. Living this way makes you content.
One day, I hope to be able to love like the Sun. In this episode, I discuss what that means by examining the exultant humility of the star in the center of our solar system. The Sun is one of our best models of the generosity, abundance, and indifference that constitute the most elevated forms of love, and its teachings are freely available to us all. If you're ready to up your game, and move beyond the exchange of value that characterizes relationships, this episode is for you.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #love #sun
Heliocentric belief isn't scientifically proven. Still great video though 👍
On one hand you say one doesn't need love to be in a relationship , and on the other hand if one isn't feeling loved you should leave. I'm not saying this is wrong, however don't you feel the yearning for love or certain feelings greatly negate the feeling of duty in relationships (especially marriage) and would this, in part explain the high divorce rates and breaking down of the nuclear family?
I like your shirt😊
@@kickhisassseabass318 All beliefs aren't scientifically proven. That's what makes them a belief, instead of being a fact.
Thank you for this video! Do you have tips for becoming more extroverted? I feel like with age, the introverted side has taken over and maybe it has to do with energy levels overall with more responsibilities in life but would love to hear about this topic--thanks!
"To get more love, you have to become more loving. " If only everyone in the world understood this concept.... what a wonderful place it would be!
Would you accept my love, then?
It would be a more peaceful place
Cope. You just have to be attractive (Halo effect).
Just BTFO in one sentence 😂
Works in theory and in good environments. In a toxic environment itll hurt you.
@TotenKopf11 Life doesn’t have to be a struggle in most places until we crowd so many people together food sources are destroyed and disease spreads with our breath.
This is your best video. No blame. No nonsense. No ego. Really wonderful video. I am so glad that you shared this lesson. It’s beautifully profound.
100% agree
this is a fkn beautiful idea indeed
You all just soft😂😂😂
But we are not planets. I’ve had numerous samadhis and almost took final vows as a nun so I’m familiar with what true and real and the highest love are. When I am quite “solar” men have no idea what to do with the benevolence I’ve realized men don’t want love from women. They want allegiance. All ego. Men can’t even handle an abundantly loving woman. It turns them all around and then they devalue you. This Sun analogy is good to teach men how to be loving. But majority of women who are not egotistical already know and emulate this. They’re the ones getting walked all over.
Entering samadhi doesn’t mean much in itself. Women crave Yang/Masculine energy which is solar and exhuberant in nature. Shy introvert men don’t get girls. The deal is, that warm solar energy can unlock all the pussies, so generally you need to deal with men who naturally attract lots of women. And everybody knows women love the men who are already popular with girls. If you want exclusive love from a man just go for the average guy, but you don’t want him.
It was when I realized it was more important to "love" than to "be loved" that I experienced more love than I know what to do with.
Beautiful realization☺️ Absolutely true. Self-love is the beginning of it all.
Right on
Absolutely. Been there and it feels really good. Problem is people take you for granted and can be cruel in return. Pains me to accept it, but my self esteem has plummeted and have felt depressed ever since realizing this.
Factually wrong
"It's shining because it's a fucking star!"
are we all stars
8:25-8:46 really resonated with me. When my ex-fiancée dumped me I had no problem letting her go because it was what she wanted and all I wanted was for her to be happy; I then mourned what I had lost over the following months but had no long-lasting ill effects. I dumped my last girlfriend in anger because of everything she did to me; it took me years to let go and find peace.
I loved this episode Dr. Taraban. This is a great message to spread along.
I experienced the same. When I broke with anger with my girlfriend who was with me just 3 months, I couldn't put myself in order next 5 years...
Commenting here mostly for myself - I'm waking up to the idea that I have repressed anger and it explains a lot. The funny thing is the relationship that blew up and hurts so bad even a year and a half on isn't the one that was causing me anger. This is childhood stuff and old relationship stuff that came up to poison what was a great relationship otherwise. Thanks for commenting.
8:02 If you feel betrayed, or unappreciated, or unreciprocated, then just let go and find someone else.
9:14 If you're not getting what you want from a relationship, just move on and continue to shine.
I learned a long time ago you can't control other people's actions or emotions. Only your own. Those two aforementioned quotes reinforce this truth.
This made so much sense. I will keep this video in my back-pocket
Me too!
Beautifully Said 👊🏻😎💯
For me, the crazy part is.. I actually find it much more easier to be "unconditionally loving" towards random strangers, than it is close loved ones. If a stranger needs help jumping their battery, carrying their groceries, etc. I'll help them in a heartbeat without even thinking twice about being paid back. However... when it's a person I see on a consistent basis (family, friend, co-worker, etc.), it becomes increasingly harder for me to constantly show love to them without eventually expecting some sort of reciprocation.. Like, it's only when I find myself pouring into the same person over and over again, where my well is most likely to run dry if I don't feel loved in return. Not sure if this is good, bad, normal, abnormal, but yeah. That's how it is for me.
It's easier to be kind, authentic, and generous towards people you've not yet formed relations with because you don't have any baggage, but people close to you also need it. I haven't thought of 'reciprocation' in at least 10 years.
Familiarity breeds contempt.
same here. My ex gf even told me how come you're nicer to strangers than me? I dont know, maybe because they are grateful and dont complain when I go out of my way to help them..?
True story this is a dynamic that happens a lot. Especially in marriage. A stranger is not known and a person may always precieve them as good where family is known and seen for who they are. This is to be taken seriously to overcome if you wish to choose and have a successful marriage
Good point. The sun doesn't know who you are, it doesn't care. So how does that equate to us humans here on earth lol
This is one of your best videos. I've listened to them and I haven't quite connected because I do not view my friends and relationships in terms of transactions. I remember I did a little as a kid, but I've loved like the sun for as long as I can remember now. Its very possible. I give because I see there is a need, and their response is irrelevant. I feel nothing in return when giving and joy or apathy is returned. Because its not why you're doing it. Its the knowledge that you assisted where it was needed that counts. Even then, there's not a lot of emotion there. I think true love is cerebral. Its not emotional. Our emotional attachments to friends and family are not love. It is when we accept and help the people around us despite our emotions, because there is the knowledge that they need this, that is the real expression of love.
To serve for their sake and not your own. I resonate with what you said there.
I resonate also and I, too, wonder to what degree love is emotional and what degree it is a conscious choice
To give is to serve your own needs. No you’re not holy or you’ve broken the code. You’re like every one of us self serving our own wants and needs.
Nice try though, masking that you’ve made it and give unconditional and with “pure love”
There’s a need with much employment. I guess start there filling your towns lack of employment and go give your time for free with nothing expected in return. 😂. Just trapped you. Funny how your “giving” is selective. Wonder what needs are being met selectivity giving where you do
Something to ponder on and realize. Yep. You’re still that kid only masking you’re transactions.
I tried this with a girl I was seriously attracted to and I found myself nervous because I was also neglecting my own needs. We're not perfect like the sun. Being clear about wanting reciprocity is healthier.
I think this model works best when two people understand it, otherwise one might be more of a taker than a giver.
It is nobody's business whom you love. You don't have to bury that feeling. Just be happy that you are one who is able to love. It is not even the business of the one(s) you love. But discussing about engaging in a long term relationship, then only choose reciprocal, mutual connection, one that makes you thrive, both of you. Never pester somebody with your loving feelings, they are yours, and nobody's business nor responsibility - just keep on being a decent person in all your conduct. Then love and appreciate those who love you, think: there's a person with good taste and all! Among those you'll find one to build a mutually satisfying relationship with.
You’re misunderstanding what Mr. Taraban is saying and you were never loving like the sun because you still needed something. The Sun simply shines and doesn’t need anything from you. Loving is simply its nature because it’s what it is and it simply can’t stop loving. As long as you need something from someone, you can’t Love them. To seek love is to imply its nonexistence, which means you haven’t embodied Love yet. When you’re whole and happy by yourself and you don’t need anything from anyone anymore to be happy, it is only then that you can Love like the sun. But that’s a hard state to attain so yes, rather than pretending to be loving like the Sun, it is healthier to express wanting reciprocity.
You tried this in a relationship, yet his whole point was, love can't be part of a relationship. Relationships are trasnactional. Love is not. Watch the video again and maybe you'll understand.
The model transcends that. Self-love overflows to the other, like he says, you’d simply part ways if that were the case
Funnily enough, you exactly described God's love. I feel like this is a model by which nobody can and nobody will love. Only God.
But the sun doesn't punish you if you don't worship it
I think it’s possible❤
No. The persons love. Who is god if not the person.
Does the sun send you to hell for not loving it in "the right way"?
@@TheRockerX redditor
People going with this sun analogue should search for ❤ Suryavanshi Prabhu Shri Ram ❤
I've always take a pride in my ability to loves people in my life that won't ever gives me back any of it. At one point a girl felt the love I was radiating and fell in love with me. Never have I felt to be loved romantically like that, and it made me fall in love with her. We were in a happy and loving relationship for 3,5 years. Last year she no longer feel that love, and last month she dumped me. I on the other end, always had my love for the women that came before her and still have the love I had for her. She found another man and I know for a fact that it is better for her to be with him. It hurt so much, yet I have to let her go. Today I'm going to lie to her and tell her I've lost my love for her, it will ease her mind so that she can be happier with her new man. Without your videos on love and relationships, I wouldn't be able to love her fully like that. Now with this video I also realize that I can still spread loves and be happier about it rathsr than focusing on the relationship that she gave up upon. I will keep loving, and try to be as close as possible to the sun. Thank you sir, some people might not understand your words, but for those who do, it is such a blessing. I hope to be like you one day.
You made me cry.
Powerful
Just, wow. I've spent many years as a student of esoteric knowledge and never have a heard such a more succinct and eloquent explanation of our Sun's all consuming presence. Bravo, again, good Doctor!
Love is a beautiful feeling. When we give love to someone, we are giving a part of our feeling to them. Such is the charm of love that it makes you feel like a kid running in green meadows on a sunny day, flying its kite, it makes you feel that life is worthwhile ❤.
Beautiful description thank you!
"happiness comes to those who spread love like the suns rays, without asking if they deserve it"
You don't know how much I needed to hear this today. Thank you.
This is the kind of Love that Jezus displayed, the love where we can be in , a love that does not want, the only sort of love that is freely given and is so great that it cannot be ignored: the sun is the son !
Jezus? Is that the Zebra version?
I love your shirt!☄️ Seriously, the sun is a noteworthy metaphor! 🌞 High five to fellow Heliophiles!
Great one doc!
I'm legit distracted from this video because I can't stop thinking that I'd like to have one of those shirts myself.
@@vtmegrad98 Google image search and see! 😃
Starting the video. I'm intrigued because I had a 12 year marriage that absolutely fell apart, and I'm in a five year LTR that is doing very well, and I attribute our current success and mutual satisfaction owing precisely to becoming very clear about an exchange of value.
We both consistently work hard to make sure the other is not feeling taken advantage of. And when we become aware of that feeling, we bring it up in a non-volatile way and seek to balance things out.
So, now I'll start your video because I'm intrigued and I'll report as a reply.
following
I'm finishing a book about my love story and now I'm not suffering anymore. I'm not even sure if I will show him the art that I poured in the form of words. I'm just grateful that he expanded my emotions. Thank you for your videos. They really help me to get up again. Wish you the sun!
Yes, MGTOW no so shallow after all is it... gotta love that black pill
wow, what a beautiful comment. God bless you.
@@lauren4434 how kind of you for telling me that, thank you Lauren. Im still refining some chapters of that book. I sure feel so blessed for integrating that part in me. Hope you leave your fears behind and focus on what makes you happy and important. God bless you.
Truly you have inspired me. I have turned an apparent abandonment and rejection into a creativity that has served me and my relationship with God, and the expansion which came from apparent "failure" of the relationship I had wanted has been for me like a huge golden step up.. I chose this. Thank you, kindred soul, @@lilakurylski4590
This is also how I’ve always viewed love since a child Doc. I’m able to love a woman with all my heart but I’m a very unattached man. I’ve had many relationships throughout my life but they never work out because I don’t like being attached to a woman for too long. Its gotten to a point now where all the women in my life seem to unconsciously know how I am by nature. I’m a loyal dude who stand on my word, they know even if I’m doing my own thing I will never abandon them, so they stay loyal to me. I show my women love, I don’t impose anything on them, they are free to live their lives as they please. As life go by, they always stay attached to me in some way because I stimulate their minds and bodies. Relationships aren’t my thing, but women who understand me always experience the time of their lives.💯💯
Great to read. You just described me as well.
Just read your post and I'm going to practice unattachment. I'm the guy that usually puts buffers in place to protect my investment. I was told though "that it feels like walking on eggshells"...I am open to care and loving a woman, but now i need to work on removing myself and not trying to control everything
So girls you're with bang other guys and come back and it's fine
Basically marriage is not for you
Spoken like a true center of the galaxy.
Excellent metaphor. I feel like this video was made for me because very recently, I've discovered my sun powers! I've quit being emotionally attached to my expectations of others and I 100% believe that all I need is myself. It's been truly liberating.
The metaphor should not be overly stretched, though. Thinking of yourself as approximating our sun's abundance appears as narcissistic, I prefer to shine for people that have, or might have, some kind of relationship with me. Metaphorically, light always is accompanied by shadow, at least on this earth.
@EK-mi6zn I see what you're saying.
I think that this sun metaphor is actually antithetical to narcissistic behavior. Being indifferent means you aren't perturbed or compromised by an outcome. You (like the Sun) should give of yourself without any expectation of recognition or reward. This is charity. And It should go without saying, you shouldn't abandon your self-improvement mindset as well as your good manners.
Although, I suppose that indifference alone would be narcissistic.
And yes, light does cast a shadow. But what is a shadow? It is darkness diminished!
This is so good. I've basically witnessed the same thing in myself where at the point where I told my significant other that I'd love her, it was to some level replaceable. Like... don't get me wrong it's not that ANY other woman could have sat there next to me, but I just felt this sense of deep love, respect and contentment for myself which I was able to express to the outside world and I feel like after this moment everything changed for me, I would not get upset about rejection of the love I was giving anymore.
You aren’t really loving if the rejection doesn’t hurt. Love isn’t numb.
@@Amlux1984love is a state you can let flower in you but it can also be censored by the constriction of the mind aka the ego.
Brought a tear to my eye. Thank you for making us lovers feel seen, understood, heard and valuable.
This video is on another level .. it’s profound- you have a gift to teach, clarity you bring to any topic is second to none. Big fan, here
"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." -Beatles
It's difficult to remove the ego when it comes to expressing love with another person, because on some level you desire reciprocation. Getting that return for your investment equates to your value in a way, and yet you give away a lot of your own power in the process. Loving just to love is definitely a worthwhile goal.
Great video.
If you expect returns - you do not love!
reciprocation is vital for normal human beings unless you're a narcissist who expects nothing from anyone because you only love yourself and don't value anything from others.
So beautiful! You really brought it home for me with the example of our children playing in the distance. And it gave me a whole new appreciation for the scripture, "God is love." Thank you!
Such a beautiful and unique perspective all round as well..
Can you elaborate on the bit about, "When you feel love, what you're actually experiencing is your own love leaving you. That's true for all emotions."
thanks Dr, i literally got out of a relationship last month, i felt like my love wasn´t been reciprocated, so instead of turning bitter and vengeful towards her, i just let her go, i stopped focusing on her and instead i just focus on my goals, told her that i´m not gonna make her be with me against her own will, so we are now again walking are own paths, it is a strange feeling but very refreshing, focusing on doing actions because they are the things that make you feel meaning in life, i still have the memories which make me feel i´m carrying some extra luggage, but as time goes on, day by day it feels lighter, just keep living and loving, because it is the right way of living, be your best possible version!
living your life
appreciates the sun
way beyond any other
form of worshipful awe
There’s genius in you Sir! You have made my life a better experience in multiple ways. Very much appreciated and I wish you all enrichment you have gifted to us all your watchers. Shine on Sir!
Hi Orion, I enjoy your videos and impressed with your tenacity which brought your channel well deserved popularity (and thus it appeared in my feed :). I can tell that you do not have kids. Yeah, how someone before me noticed well passion lasts 3 years, love lasts 7. I stayed in marriage for 10 more years, until my daughter was ready to go to college..
Thank you! Recently I’ve been wondering about that idea of being too nice too people and your discussion here encouraged me to not worry if people can’t handle kindness, it’s not my problem they can go on living in fear as much as they want. Meanwhile I can enjoy being kind when possible simply because it’s a pleasure. Thank you.
Becareful who you shine to people take advantage & can abuse if you don’t put boundaries.
One of your best videos❤ "To get more love, you have to become more loving"
Thank you for share us this unconditional love is part of this ! Time to shine 😎 experiencing this at the moment
"You are the one you have been looking for", this hit me like thunder 🤯
That was really beautiful and very true. I thought about this a lot and I’ve realized that it is the giver of love who get to experience love.
Linkin Park said - “ The sun doesn't give light to the moon assuming The moon's gonna owe it one”
From a young age this resonated with me and you’ve just put words to what I felt all these years. Much love and power to you sir
Incredible I tried to explain this yesterday with a date and got halfway there. I'm going to send this because you put it so beautifully. Thank you🙏
Thanks!
This was a very profound video
Some other comments here seem to mix up again relationships with love. Guys, these two concepts Orion tries to tell apart.
When my son should ask me later, "didn't you love Mommy?" (we are separated), the right answer will be "we tried to have a relationship and failed, not meeting each other's expectations". Nothing to do with love in anyway. If we feel or felt love for each other before, during, even after the separation is written on a totally different page - one that is completely independent as well as irrelevant to the continued relationship question. Thank you, Orion, for this clarification
Every human relationship is a transaction. Whenever someone helps you is because either it’s THEIR JOB (meaning they help others for a living) or it’s a family member or even a significant other who needs you because of the value you provide to them.
You live a sad life if that's how you think. People can love each other enough to help strangers in need without reciprocity.
@@DesiresAttackVirtues I am not interested in arguing with a random on the internet. I'll just say that you're in for a rude awakening. There is no need for me to explain why; life will teach you.
Have a wonderful day.
@@ChrisPTY507lol try to comprehend the topic. It's about love, not relationship. Everyone knows human interactions are majorly transactional
@@DesiresAttackVirtues People help strangers in an environment where strangers helped them in the past. It's still give and take, just reciprocating with different people instead of the same person. When you love someone, the feeling of love you get is the reward, and the help you give freely to the subject of that love, your payment. Only when you love equally and shines on everyone under the sun, do you love like the sun. You are neither Jesus Christ or Buddha, you do not love like the sun. Your love is towards a specific object, and you receive as the euphoria of loving that object.
@@DesiresAttackVirtues But that's not a relationship. That's love. You have no relationship with strangers.
Great!!, real love is a virtue, trascending the ego its a must, love its like the scent of a flower. “Radiate boundless love towards the entire world - above, below, and across - unhindered, without ill will, without enmity.” - Buddha
Accept your nature, if you give, and give and get nothing for it, you will feel resentful, unless you believe you will get a prize in "afterlife" for your deeds.
That's why most religions have to sell you on the "Heaven's Reward" fallacy. There's no evidence for Heaven or Hell other than BELIEF. It's like believing in Santa Claus but for adults that can't bear reality.
Love like the sun. Very quotable ☀️
Whoa! Listening to this while sitting in the sun at lunch is rather comforting. Love this analogy so much. You are spot on here. 🌞
The entire expaination makes perfect logical sense, but what I found to be particularly interesting is the example of the parent watching in the distance and the conclusion that comes from it i.e. the highest response to love is joy and not some form of transaction or exchange. Even a feeling or demonstration of gratitude, praise, or appreciation, could become a repayment to the person expressing love, which would automatically relegate those responses to an inferior status compared to joy.
Since joy is something that is personally experienced, it cannot be transactioned while maintaining its spontaneous nature - fake joy is not joy at all.
This helped me understand that, while it's desirable to show this type of love to others, it's also essential to have the proper response when others show this kind of love to me.
I look at this kind of stuff the same way as a marketer. I would look at it like email marketing. Just give value and even if 20% of the emails I sent out are reciprocated with a purchase, 20% is an insanely successful percentage. Be grateful for that 20% success rate but be more focused adding more value to myself through becoming more valuable. Indifferent to outcome is the best way to be.
That's not a bad metaphor except you have to also keep in mind that those respondents also have their own interests in mind ahead of yours.
@@angrydragon4574 exactly. Of course they do. That’s why we always have to invest in ourselves more than others. We have to use whatever we do to attract others as something that betters ourself first and foremost.
Thanks for this gem and demonstrating its message at no cost to viewers. You and other creators like you help shine light on heavy subjects in ways that precipitate our best qualities. I remember a similar tale to your sand holding analogy only it was how to hold a lightning bug. I hope great things for you and yours.
Absolutely fantastic! You have an unique analogical talent. Even the well known analogies seem new from your mouth. Thank you.
What people feel the deepest is loving others - all the greatest love songs sing about the feeling of loving others, instead of the feeling of being loved.
The sun shines on all, both the good and the bad...
I could never believe I still loved my ex since I was the one who ended it. I've struggled with the shame that I only stopped loving her when my needs weren't being met. Thank you for helping me understand that you can still love and leave someone.
The sun shines on the good, bad and the ugly
My G-d. This has been his best talk yet! Really amazing!
Guess this is why we have a habit of developing Sun/sky gods
Starting a new religion to worship Sagittarius A.
@@kennythelenny6819 I'm gonna start worshiping Sirius, and call Sagittarius A a lesser demon.
You literally just described the character of God.
Dr.Taraban... Love your channel and videos
Definitely enlightening, I needed to hear this. I definitely forwarded this to a couple of people who will benefit, just like I did 👍
I love this! ❤ Beautiful analogy wrapped around such wisdom. One of your best videos yet! Shine on my friend… Yet stay humble like the sun!!🌞🌞🌞
Tak!
"Lucidity is the wound closest to the sun." René Char (1907-1988), French Poet
"After all this time, the sun has never said to the earth, you owe me." Rumi
Beautiful words
Finally! A RUclipsr who’s saying things beyond the transactional, marketplace discourse in which most discussions about relationships are framed. What a relief!
Love like the sun. Indifferent & willing to burn up anything in its path.
Take it from someone who has made the mistake of giving freely & expecting nothing. For most people, that which is free is worthless. Play that game with a woman & expect to be used up & discarded. She won't realize that sometimes clouds get in the way & the sun's warmth (provision) isn't as strong. She'll curse the sun & move on for greener pastures.
It is always a purchase with them, although most won't admit it. Not even a purchase, really. It's a lease. Don't fool yourself into thinking these creatures can be any other way. There is a reason Socrates said, "I inscribe upon water the oaths of a woman".
Love is love you give and dont expect it in return at all, just give with no attachment if you desire, that maybe not be love but you just give because you care, thats why love is selfless, and probably nor you or your ex wife loved each other, fully selfless and unconditional, or maybe is just the problem of one in particular in that relationship, wich is okay to move on, just be sure you really love your green pasture, and your green pasture loves you back, in a good full of love relationship always is important anyways, or time to shine! to that you dont blame woman for something that is enjoyed for 2 people that are not narcissistic and dont have this problem in relationship but dedicate trully and healthy to stay for each other regardless the time, the war of genders just benefit the ones who want to divide societies
A wonderful metaphor, thank you kindly.
Am intrigued by your perspective that relationships are so essentially transactional that they are basically contracts.
Can you do a follow-up presentation on the gender differences in the experiences and perspectives of love, and how that may vary between mixed-gender relationships, same-gender relationships, and multiple partner relationships?
Keep up the fine work Doc.
Reminds me of the description of love from the anime vinland saga.
"Love is indiscriminate"
Díky!
Good shirt, Doctor. 😂
Mostly on board with this.. as far as love goes, it does ring true. However, relationships are the means by which value is exchanged. As such, practicing this philosophy will set you in the loser position for relationships every time.
Unlike the sun, we dont have unlimited resources to dole out. How are we to reconcile an unfair bargain when someone wishes to terminate a resource based bargain? For instance, having a child with someone when specific obligations are negotiated, only for them to abandon their post?
Love has nothing to do with that situation.. love them all you like, but they still plunder the relationship assets for a profit at your expense.
Materially, it seems no different than expecting the bank to forgive a loan simply because you dont feel emotionally like paying the mortgage anymore.
Is it simply a matter of this is this and that is that? That we are talking about two seperate subjects? Or are we considering them the same thing? That we should write off relationship debts because of love?
If that's the case, then we are in a huge pickle because of game theory. Love coupled with assets and obligations cannot operate in a vacuum like the sun. And our predicted reactions will always be exploited by those seeking our limited resources.
It's virtually meaningless to be perfectly honest. You might as well just say: "love but don't expect anything back". Or at least don't get angry at not getting anything back. And thats fine, I'd agree. But you have to at least be alert to not getting anything back otherwise-as you say-you'll just get taken advantage of.
The sun shines anyway. It's not going out of it's way for anyone. We just happen to benefit from it's rays-but that's neither here nor there to the sun, so it'd have no reason to resent anyones "lack of gratitude". On the other hand, people who seek our "love" are not merely seeking to bask in our indifferent presence, they're seeking something performative from us for their own ends.
It's another silly metaphor really, which the channel is apparently seeking to specialise in.
Just say "don't get mad at people for the things you'd do freely anyway". Not "love like the sun". How on earth (literally) are we supposed to relate to a massive ball of plasma fuelled by nuclear fusion?
He says this at the very beginning, that love has nothing to do with relationships.
Man I love this one this need to be retaught in the churches and religious institutions of today some of that timeless wisdom❤🎉😊
Praise the Sun!
Are we bringing back the ancient Egyptian religion now? Last I checked people stopped worshipping Ra over 2,000 years ago.
@@angrydragon4574 I guess he brings back dark souls 3😉
@@angrydragon4574 whoosh!!!
@@nerdeater27 Instead of insults try explaining your point next time.
@@angrydragon4574 lol calm down, bro. It was just a joke. @NoTreading was just referencing a videogame.
Taraban's coco loco manosphere transactional relationship stuff has gotten so deep he has circled back to ancient Egyptian Ra worship....
bring back traditional marriage
Thanks!
Normally your presentations make sense, Orion. Not this time. What you're describing is an abstract concept, a Platonic ideal of "love" - and Platonic ideal phenomena do not exist in reality. Nor is it desirable to strive to instantiate such ideal, "pure" phenomena. Failure and fanaticism lie in that direction.
Love is not an abstract concept. It's a real experience that evolution endowed us with - via oxytocin and other neuroactive chemicals - to promote bonding and mutual care between couples, and in non-sexual versions, between caregivers and those they care for (notably children) and between close friends. "Love" is about the chemical basis of stable, devoted, caring relationships. It's not an abstraction. It's not a Platonic ideal. It's grittily real. And reciprocity is crucial to its healthy continuation. One-sided, unrequited love is a form of unwanted bonding - a form of mental illness, in fact.
Please reconsider your concept of love. The advice you give in this particular episode of your often valuable show is seriously misdirected. To love is not, in fact, something we can or should do analogously to how the Sun bestows sunshine upon our planet, needing and expecting nothing in return. Healthy love is nothing like that. Reciprocity is fundamental to genuine and healthy love. Love is about ensuring *mutually* supportive relationship.
It is possible and desirable to have a vaguely benign general attitude toward the world, to approach it with a general willingness to engage in constructive behaviors, to orient toward the light rather than darkness. That's a different matter. "Love" is the experience of powerful binding chemicals in specific relationships.
Did that loving like the sun bit for the first 20 years of my life. Only got drained and whiplash because I realized no one loved me at the end of the day. It was wrong of me to want to be loved and look for external love, but it was a great lesson on howI should love myself more above all.
@@hana-ok8ed
Only men and very ugly women feel this way.
Thanks
I do. I'm a twin. However, being alone is the new normal. Marriage, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows.
This is such a perfect articulation of the meaning of love
What value does the man get, though??
This is the point he’s making… you love workout any attachment. You simply love (shine) because it gives life. Whether you get something back or not is not the point. You simply love regardless of who it is.
His kids taken
@@SkeletalMisunderstanding - you get the anvil, suspended by a thin rope, swinging over your head! 😵💫😵💫
@@StrongBodymindandspirit It is not a fair deal the men bring everything, and the women enjoy it
@@carlospita6442haha, trust me if I don’t receive some sort of reciprocity then I move on. You can choose how long you want to love on that individual. When you see there is no growth on that seed, it’s time to focus that energy elsewhere
Listening to it, I think my dad loved my family like the sun.
The sun doesn't "love." It's just a ball of plasma and a giant fusion reactor hundreds of millions miles away from us. Sure, we need the sun for life, we also need the atmosphere for life too. I don't see the stars or the planet as a gift, I see it as the perfect placement for life to thrive and grow in the universe. And there's more than one planet with suitable conditions for life although they tend to be thousands of solar systems away from us.
Oh my word,it’s a metaphor 😅
@@silverlining6259 If it was a metaphor there'd be no need to personify the sun. This is the same stuff our ancient ancestors did 4,000 years ago, why are we bringing back concepts that died millenia ago?
It's not literal, it's a metaphor.
@@TurnOntheBrightLights. Again, no need to personify the sun.
@@angrydragon4574The sun is personified and applied meaning as a ways of teaching. It's quite simple. If you can't take that, then move along.
Your videos made me question what love really is, and it’s funny this video popped up to finally set it straight!
“To get love you must be more loving” 💙
This is truly what love is.
this is actually deep and advanced. it is on a level or higher of seeing your partner cheating on you but accept it as the partner seems alright/happy with the third party and one moves on. I guess I could use this on my current situation as I'm gaining so much interest with my neighbor which I haven't felt probably since 15 years ago. However, she appears she's so sought after and likely not single anymore just recently. Now I'm more prepared to accept rejection.
@3:32-3:35 Dude snapped 💀 ... Can't wait to read your book!
You have a great mindset about how you define what love is Orion! 🙂
Wow. Please expound on knowing when to part!!!
“And still, after all this time, the Sun has never said to the Earth,‘You owe me.’ Look what happens with love like that. It lights up the sky.” -Jalaluddin Rumi
Purify your love. Ensure your intentions are selfless and authentic.
Interestingly this attracts both light and darkness(narcs), when the latter show up it’s time for sunset (vanish).
Very great video Dr. Living this way makes you content.
Totally agree !
Valeu!
I don't tend to leave comments but I must note this by far is your best video. Strong work