1. Be masculine 2. Be direct (make her feel safe and secure) 3. Have a purpose 4. Body language (eye contact and interest, and use charisma) You’re welcome! Please give Courtney a thumbs up, and remember, she is a unicorn on the crazy/hot axis!
@@phantomx3902 i agree, I like her compared to others BUT you cant forget she still a woman she can't see the male side and she won't be completely true from her side. So you have to realize its some simping if you do how she says🤷♂️
"Just be confident" is like saying "just be thinner," or "have more muscles." Just like having a slimmer or more muscular physique, confidence is the byproduct of engaging in a particular endeavor and producing a result. Confidence is built on successes. You can do one of two things, learn pick-up, which is fake confidence, or take the long road to improve yourself overall, your body, your career, your wardrobe, those will make you feel better, you'll get more looks, more opportunities because the laws of attraction begin to work in your favor. Don't look for a quick fix.
Something I read recently, don't worry about be a contestant in the dating game, be the prize. Which makes so much more sense, dedicate to improving yourself, financially, emotionally, intellectually, and you'll attract lots of people into your life
Pick up isn't fake confidence if you're authentic. Pick up is basically a sub category in social skills. Like any other skill, it's built through practice. I completely agree with you though that one should always work on bettering themselves in other areas though.
Such a valuable video! I don’t often promote books, but the book women’s magic truths on borlest is an exception. It’s packed with insights on wealth and self-care that are not widely known. All the best to everyone
it reminds me of a powerful quote that changed my view on dating/relationships, here it is: "A Man doesn't need to respect a Woman in order to feel attracted to her, but a Woman needs to respect a Man in order to feel attracted to him"
That’s in the Bible. I am not religious, but that’s the only teaching on marriage. Men love your wife, women respect your husband. It’s as simple as that.
As a guy going through divorce at the moment I want to share my perspective of confidence. I agree with a comment on here that I saw. “You have to put in the work to be confident”. I think this dives deeper than just trying to exude confidence or just working out/ taking care of your body. So many men fail to take care of their mind. I feel like we as men don’t always take the time to sit in silence and have the hard conversations with ourselves of who we are and who we want to be. This going all the way back to past traumas from childhood usually. How you were raised, were you bullied?, were you belittled by a loved one for being sensitive or weak? I think we don’t always want to resolve our insecurities and work through them so we mask it with excuses out of fear which makes us lack confidence. I’ve spent a lot of nights since my divorce contemplating my life and what I have to offer. What things I can look back on In past relationships to make myself better for the next one. Looking at my self worth and how I view myself. Making sure I’m proactively changing the things about myself that were unresolved or that I don’t like. Actually unfucking your mind can help your confidence so much but it is an internal battle. You just gotta be willing to face those issues and sometimes even get help through therapy or through a good friend that won’t bullshit you.
Good thoughts. I went through a divorce 5 years ago. It was tough at the time, but I definitely found some positives. The main positive was, as you seem to imply in your post, the potential for self-evaluation and growth.
This might be the realest thing I’ve ever read on the internet. You got some real insight with these questions. I feel a little fucked up and although I’m successful, have the looks, good job and all the material items I am just hurting from life’s experience to this point. I have been in therapy for a couple of years and I’m FINALLY just able to start EMDR. I hope that changes my outlook on relationships and life in general. I realize that I am the problem, not others. I feel cautiously optimistic that things will get better.
I'm 62, and two young beautiful successful women are texting me, I told them if they weren't spiritual I wouldn't friend them.. push them away and they want me even more.. both learned that the most handsome man in the room has its drawback.. one was very motherly, kinda cute, and the other is a crypto trader and screenshot the profit she made with just one trade and taking me by the hand to school me into crypto..guys, give and the universe will return 10 folds.
I like using the term "walking around like you own the place". It shows confidence, purpose, awareness, responsibility and it shows you know what you are doing. Connect that with dressing well plus manners. From my own experience, displaying this behavior, people men & women will chase you down for help, directions and advice.
The thing that has leveled up my confidence the most is being real with who I am and what I want in life. Once I said, forget everyone else’s dreams for me, what is my desire? That’s when I really noticed my confidence start to go up! Once you live your life honest with your self and what you really want, confidence increases so much it’s crazy. Never been this confident in my life. Recommend this to every guy and really every woman out there. Know who you are and what you want. Be humble enough to learn but go for what you believe in and be flexible to adjust along the way if needed.
I want to add that confidence comes naturally from doing the work! You can't just tell yourself to be confident no matter what. For example, if you have an exam and you didn't study or do the homework, then you can't just tell yourself to be confident. Don't focus on being confident. Focus on doing the work and bettering yourself and the confidence will follow naturally.
Agree ,confidence takes time and work if you don't have it , speaking from experience, not trying put put this women down but sometimes they act like if we just have to break out of an egg shell and be that perfect confidence man , it takes time adjusting yourself and practing it that's my experience.
Not always. Some people will doubt themselves regardless if they do the work. I know for myself that I have done alot of work like going to the gym and getting into med school but I still lack confidence.
@@mario125ww Go take pilot lessons, after about 20 hours your instructor will open his door and get out and tell you to circle the airfield and do three full stop landings. This is where real confidence and the chance you will die alone become real.
And always learning leads to that also, yet even if you fail, at least you can confidently explain why you won't help someone (knowing more of what you can and cannot do), and that you had the gumption to try being confident in growing and confident you can handle failure
@@CourtneyRyan no. you underline the idea that competence and success derived from confidence which is highly false and more on the opposite. so timid introvert guys should just commit suicide?how the world would react? " oh he was weak anyway".
Courtney, you are so eloquent and you tone of voice is just on right picht. I'm a 58 year old man and what you are saying I learned through trial and error. I like to listen to intelligent and well educated people, you are completely right. Thanks and and sincerely congratulations.
Here's another *big* one: *handling situations.* If you can fix it for her when it's broken, or handle things in an emergency, it's *huge.* But it's also on her to be *appreciative,* rather than demanding about every little whim.
Right, cool story, we already know women like to date their dad. Yeah, I like a person who can fix everything for me too. It's just a manipulation from women to get men to do everything for them. Omg it's so hot how you do everything for me and I just exist in this relationship.
A difficult position on that subject, sometimes they don't want it to fixed, just listened to about w/e they're talking about. Good luck understanding when is what. We, as men, have an initial reaction to give a solution.
Just to clarify, dudes Pursuing and Chasing are very different things. Pursuing is knowing the woman wants to spend time with you while Chasing is going after the ones who either don’t want to spend time with you or are playing hard to get but have absolutely no real genuine interest or respect for you. It doesn’t matter if you really like the hard-to-get girl in your vision, she needs to respect your time. Time you are offering to spend time getting to know her. Remember this and your confidence will increase dramatically.
Yes yes and yes. Being direct and polarising the situation with a woman is vital. Let her know what you want early doors so she knows where you stand. Move away if she's not on your page and finding the right women will be SO much easier! Stay strong brothers 👊
Even if you’re not “confident” it’s better to be yourself than “fake” something you’re not. I believe true confidence only comes with experience so that means putting yourself out there and brushing off rejection.
This is even more important for you're own mental health and sanity as well! Because when you find someone who feels the same about you that you do about them its genuine. Confidence will grow from that also 👌
Confidence is one of things where you can actually fake it until you make it. Like you said yourself, it takes experience, and faking it will give you that experience until it comes naturally where you're no longer faking it.
It is impossible to be confident just because a woman on YT suggests it. You might as well say "just be happy." Well if that were true and possible no-one would ever get depressed. Confidence is contextual. In the right situation and right mental state you may feel confident. But you can't just be it. Lol That's dumb. If I said "just be scared" you'll think I'm a lunatic. You can't be scared if you're not feeling fear. The same is true with confidence. You have to feel a certain level of emotional well being to be confident. Just telling someone to be confident is moronic. Emotions are not a light switch you turn on and off at a whim! Any woman saying just be confident is talking complete nonsense. They have no clue how humans process emotions.
If I were to share a few things I've noticed women like about me they are: 1) Trust in who you are and don't care what other people think about you. 2) Don't be afraid to fail or get rejected (and don't take it personally when it happens (which it will)). 3) Listen to her and really process what she's telling you, both rationally and emotionally. Being superficial is one of the WORST things you can do when talking to a girl/woman. 4) Talk honestly and to-the-point about yourself. Trying to impress her by talking about how great you are and how much money you make will only make you look insecure and unattractive. 5) Don't be afraid to show her (in a subtle way) with your posture, body language and eyes that part of you want to rip off her clothes and take her right here and now on the table.
Not necessarily a good ending, but I was dating a girl last summer, and at the end she said to me "I wanted to break up with you a while ago, but your confidence is a addictive. I wanted to be around you." Confidence is very attractive to women.
Clearly there is something about you that the girl didn't like hence the reason why she wanted to dump you a while ago. It's perturbing to think most of your time together she was actually going to end the relationship but decided because of your addictive 'confidence' she's decided to stick with you, but for how long? As soon as your confidence wanes, she does a runner?
1. "Success comes along with masculinity." 2. Being direct, which makes her feel "safe" and "secure." 3. Having a purpose, but goes on to describe leadership position, so not a purpose, but a successful, tail-end part of ambition. 4. Body language, but mentions charisma, aka someone who has the ability to influence and garner reverence from others AKA leadership qualities. You all see what all of these have in common yet? Guys. Be SUCCESSFUL. Success and (years of) experience and accumulated assets, the ability to make their lives easier, by you being better, better, better, better, just oh so good at everything. She's trying to pull a gamer move by suggesting women like the "foundational" quality. But that's not how confidence works. It's the other way around. The thing with confidence, is that you get it AFTER you achieve something. Confidence is not found in a vacuum. It's not something people just have, and THAT's what makes them successful. So guys, don't look at this as anything other than a woman telling you that she wants what you can provide for her.
You are correct. My wife and I met when we were 17. We got married at 20. Neither of us had anything, just each other. We grew up together and had our successes and failures together. We've been married 38 years. Nowadays, females are spoiled. They want to marry a guy who has already gone through the struggles to achieve success and they simply swoop in and reap the rewards. It's disgusting. It's no wonder so many marriages end in divorce.
@@CapstoneTheMagician Really no wonder, when most of the marriages that end in divorce begin with a woman marrying a man so she can divorce him and have half his stuff.
I appreciate the message. To all those guys out there wondering how to be confident, as if you weren’t working on being that this whole time. Most people label ‘COURAGE’ as confidence, because you appear to them as confident. So on the path to being confident, be courageous in the face of nervousness and fear. Feel all those emotions and act anyway… All those things described here will develop was you work through inexperience.
As a confident man, I would add that I actively listen to her. I seek to understand what she is saying, how she is feeling, and what she is committed to or concerned about - her why. I will then reflect what I understand back to her, and ask her if what I understand is correct or if I'm missing anything. I do all this without trying to fix or change her, and without any ego.
I started feeling more confident when I stopped caring what other people thought. I got on MY mission and could care less what anyone thought about that, ESPECIALLY when people try to negate or put down. This includes my appearance, my clothing, my hobbies, my vehicles...
Confidence isn't easy for a lot of people, me included. We have spent years, childhood into adulthood, having the confidence beat out of us by those around us including family. Some of us have been the butt of jokes, pranks, and bullying for decades/years so confidence isn't something that comes easy. Start with the younger generation. Stop telling people that the guy/girl is out of their league. Stop holding them back from greatness and push them to see how far they can go in life.
I was bullied, criticized by parents, ridiculed, an oddball in high school, had no girlfriends, but as I turned 25 or so I noticed girls like me, and I started to act very naturally and confident around them and then had tons of girls until I was 35 or so. So your bad childhood and teenage years don't matter at all. Once you notice you are good at something, no matter what they told you in kindergarten, you get confidence and everything is bright and you succeed. It happend to me later in many different fields.
@zxcbbnm7552 I guess I just got some confidence starting with a few girls and then I noticed it was easy to get a date with the most beautiful girls, actually, it wasn't such a quick transition, the most difficult was to lose my virginity with a girl and then slowly I began to get some confidence and relax around girls
"Masculinity is sexy and desirable to women" "Masculinity is toxic to women" I feel fortunate to have been raised in the 50s and 60s. Life was beautiful then
Masculinity that doesn't have to prove anything and makes room for her without machismo and knows how to lift a woman up and love her as an equal is not toxic. Masculinity that gaslights, puts down, is insecure and unstable that attacks, is abusive and diminishes her and her empowerment as a woman is toxic. There is a huge difference.
*These seemingly small gestures can convey confidence and make a huge impact in interactions. Additionally, the suggestion to embrace vulnerability is crucial; it shows emotional strength and can create a deeper connection.*
The eye contact one is extremely difficult for most people (like me) on the autism spectrum. We just feel uncomfortable looking straight into people’s souls... Even if we like them. 😅🙈
I can relate. I am autistic and I often make eye contact. But when I do, people always ask me if I’m on drugs because I can’t help it when my eyes dilate. I don’t like making eye contact
I have aspergers and, it is a new thing that people are learning about, I will always have a little awkwardness, cause my brain is just wired differently, Not just with women, but with men. The good thing is that, I am learning all these new social skills, that I had no idea of because of my aspergers, but the 2 decades in the past of being rejected, you can't get that shit out of your head overnight, I really hate the word confidence
I had to work on my Confidence because I wasn't born with it. I'm an Introvert too like you Courtney so I had to get used to putting myself out there so I did that in my past jobs and in my hobbies that helped me build Confidence and I'm still refining and improving it and I'm reaping the fruits of my Labor. I approached the most attractive Woman at a mall and I was so Confident that she felt nervous because she was into me but Never went further because she was already taken and I could tell she wanted to break the touch barrier with me because she was playing with her hair around me but I have too much Self-Respect and I I Integrity so I said Goodbye and I felt really Masculine when I did that and Loved it. The tips you give on this video are awesome!
I'll be honest. Used to watch your videos years ago and was not really impressed or convinced. But growth and maturity make you see things differently and more objectively. Your honesty and well-meaning advice make more sense now.
Some interesting observations in this video. I was raised in a very "progressive" part of the country during a time when women were insisting they be treated as the equals of men, which meant among other things, that girls were encouraged to cultivate typically male traits such as dominance, aggression, competitiveness, assertiveness, and a strong spirit of independence. By the time I reached adulthood, I was convinced that "feminine" women who did not exhibit these traits were weak and inferior. It was therefore clear that I should be attracted to more masculine women, so it remained a mystery why I still found only "feminine" women attractive. Many years later, after listening to what evolutionary psychologists had to say on the subject, it become clear why this was the case.
Thank you for another good, useful video.👍 I’m an older guy and this reminds me of my awkward youth. The things that I think gave me confidence were life experience, and work ethic. Experiencing things enough to know what I have an aptitude for. Work ethic: if a job is worth doing, it’s worth doing right the first time. Sun Tzu teaches us that battles are won or lost before they are fought. Being prepared, adequately supplied, and well organized reinforces Sun Tzu’s philosophy.
I start off being cocky, but once I learn more about the person my insecurities and cockiness fades away. I'm more like a gift don't know what's in it until you open it up. 👍
This was actually quite insightful. I expected shallow "just be confident" tips but youre right. I am in my head all the time. I do "beat around the bush" and I dont go for what I want. Thats definetly a change I need to make.
Confidence isn't a toy you buy from a store, it's a survival instinct that comes from learning through harsh experiences. If you want to be confident only because women like confident men then you are a gone case even before you start to live. Be kind to yourself brothers.
Competence comes from learning, not confidence. If I know how something works, then i am able to judge my chance of success. Confidence would be an unfounded trust in my skills.
@Evidence Based Health I hear you and yes you aren't wrong either. But friend, seriously is this the only way you can look at things? Women testing men and making them feel insure? Or you can have it as a litmus test as to how much you need to better yourself? And besides no woman can ever make you insecure about anything unless you are doing the same, whatever you are whoever you are just don't let others run the psychological drama in your head.
Great message. Hear alot about how important confidence is. Purpose is key, I would encourage anyone who’s not confident that they can become confident. It’s also a learned behavior.
Confidence can be boosted by success, but it is also recursive, because confidence leads to success. Sometimes outcomes are beyond your control but the effort are in your control. We step up and we take our swings. Sometimes we connect and knock it out of the park. Dr. Alok from healthygamer said it best. Your options (in your mind) are to do nothing, or to Fail Spectacularly. When you succeed, it is unexpected, not because you expected to fail, but because you aren't attached to the outcome of success, especially with something as random and unpredictable as dating! Hope this helps.
So-called "fake confidence" is also known as bravado. Real confidence originates from an internalized locus of control meaning you've taken back your power to choose from all those externalized sources of "power" you projected it at and bc you have done so you are now capable of making independent choices for yourself with little or no influence from others.
As another poster says, I was born and grew up during the 1950s and 60s. I am confident. I can discuss many important subjects in depth that most men just cannot do. My IQ is 141, but I tell very few people about this. I let my overall knowledge of many different subjects say this for me. I am the type of person that does not stand around and wish someone would take action. I am that one person you see in a crowd that DOES take action to help. When I was single, I was the only short man (5'4") that the tall ladies would dance with. They always told me I make them look good on the dance floor. My mother was told by a 25-year-old female friend of hers that I was the sexiest looking young man (I was 15 at the time) that she had ever seen. She told my mother that someday I would drive the girls crazy. Well, she was right. But not in the way she was thinking of. I have never had a problem getting the attention of good-looking women. Unfortunately, I was born with Tourettes and OCD. But I did not know it until I was 44. This made me stick out like a sore thumb to the point that girls would drop me because neither one of us had any idea why I ticked the way I did. I have been a business owner for 25 years, plus I am a published author. I have also been told that my sense of humor is good enough for me to be an onstage stand-up comic. But I cannot even begin to describe how lonely I feel about 99% of the time, even though I am married to a doctor, and our daughter has her Master's in Strategic Management.
Something that enjoy to do is when I catch a woman staring at me, telling her with my hand and a smile "hey, come over here". You'll be impressed how it works. Also works as a filter the attention seekers from the interested ones ✌🏻
Confidence is built over time, you can't just "be confident". I can speak for myself, I've lost 140 pounds in the last 18 months, and losing all that weight gave me confidence for other things, like approaching women I like, and just talking to them freely. You have to work on yourself first before confidence kicks in....for way to long I was shy, scared to even talk to women, and that part of my character was created because I didn't feel good in the way that I looked, and how people saw me.
Anxiety for me was about being judged as not good enough by family, contemporaries, and other authority figures like teachers and bosses. But once I started internalizing my own locus of control I started caring less and less what other people thought of me and started caring proportionally more about what I thought of myself. It was freeing bc I was no longer a slave to societal values or culture. I started feeling comfortable in my own skin. It was wonderful.
I sort of see too much confidence being a bad thing, almost like it goes hand in hand with ignorance or stubborness. Im usually quite confident, but i fail to show confidence in activities im not familiar with or in subjects i dont know about, i ask a lot of questions and am not afraid of admitting i dont know something, but once i do understand something i will talk about it or do it with confidence.
That's great because you are less likely to fall prey to the Dunning-Kruger effect. Asking questions and admitting you don't know something is confident because you're confident in your ability to grow and learn and make your own conclusions.
She`s doing a " DEEP DIVE " into men`s confidence ... and it turns out to be a guy with job not afraid to hit on chicks ... quite deep ... psychologist are mesmerized at depth of this analysis ...
Pro tip: Never speak negatively about anything related to work in a whining tone. You're seen as a complainer who can't get a better job. Sometimes corporate culture has its weird side where you don't understand, but talk about it objectively, not in a whiny tone. Even if you don't like your job, take it like a man and don't make it a big deal out of it.
@@monkeytrollhunter Yes. I know. Which is why I said change your job...if you don't like it. I left a corporate job and built my own companies. It's very easy to change jobs / companies for most people. If you're not happy take action.
@@davidc2838 Yeah, I made a career change by going back to college as an adult while working. I got a degree in math and engineering, got myself a software engineer job at a big tech company.
When I was in fun mode, always remembered what my dad told me, "go strait to the point and tell them the truth about why you approached them", you`ll be surprised how much fun youll have and how many girls out there think exactly the same way, and apreciate you not promising the world just to have good clean fun. He said, "you need to understand that not all women out there are looking for a husband, many of them are professionals with a successful busy career with no time for drama or long term relationships". I was a bit skeptical at the beginng, but, man was he right!!!!!! I tried to pass that experience to most of my friends, (not many), but not everyone is cut out to do that I guess.
Thanks for explaining confidence in a way that is easy to understand because everyone always say be confident but never give men really good examples of how to be and show confidence. Basically if you want a woman to feel feminine around you; you have to give her qualities she may not have which are masculine good ones. I think being humble is a great example of being confident too. Anyways wishing you a great day Courtney 🌠
@@OrangePony75 That is proper parenting, indeed. Some people who have had children are not fit to be parents because they themselves have not reached adulthood. This is horrible for the children.
Her voice matches the music so well! I like listening to these as I drive places. They both calm my mind. The ideas she talks about promote clarity and productivity, and those are valuable.
@@cbrown6848 Dude chill , I am no simp , I did not tell her that to get her attention , I said it because i wanted to say , If i honestly thought she sounds horrible , I'd have said that too.
I know this reply will definitely get some negative reactions, but I’ve watched a few our Courtney’s videos and she seems genuine, so I’ll go ahead and post it here: My fundamental question is, can confidence coexist with humility and compassion? In my experience, confident people often (though not always), are rather egocentric and, sadly, quite cruel to others. They are definitely purpose-driven, which I can admire to a point, but they don’t seem to care who they hurt or what damage they cause as long as they get what they want. These folks also tend to see things like humility, gratitude, compassion, and kindness as traits of weakness. Again, this is all based on my own experience, which my be limited, but it’s what I’ve encountered most often with confident folks. I’ve generally taken the position that humility is a better trait to cultivate, as I feel it engenders in someone a sense of gratitude to one’s mentors and friends, and it cultivates the idea that you can continue to improve while reminding you that you’re no better than anyone else. That said, for some people, maybe these things - humility and confidence - can coexist. I just don’t know. In my own case, I can say that I’m going after what I want and it’s a lifelong dream. I’m in graduate school and pursuing a doctorate in fields that I love. I enjoy my job and the research that I get to do. I especially love teaching. I’d never describe myself as confident, though, and I certainly don’t have charisma, being a rather shy, awkward nerd, and all. (And I very much enjoy being a nerd in many ways, even though I know it might be a turn off.) Much of my life, too, I’ve struggled with (and continue to struggle with) self-loathing, and that may also impact how I see all of this as well, so can’t act as if I’m totally neutral here. But, yeah: Can confidence coexist with humility and compassion or not?
Apparently a little dark humor helps too :) From a discussion yesterday. Girl: You're soo sweet Me (as per my normal self): That's what my doctor told me too, well, he said diabetes, but the same thing... It worked, got a "Ok, sweet AND funny" back. (I love making people laugh and smile)
@@slickcatricky7694 I think sometimes good, but often bad. Sometimes the label knows what the artist is going for, or the producer can help the album flourish. And sometimes they just get the artist to appeal to the masses, most of which barely care but will get the song some more streams.
One thing I noticed is that a lot of these attributes come with age, but OTOH now I'm middle aged I care a lot less about impressing girls/women anyway.
After watching this video and others, I am realizing that I do more confident things than I thought, still gotta improve, not only with women but everything
I feel consistency is probably one the most underrated traits. Being consistence show strength and can enhance masculinity. Everyone has ups and downs, but if you're consistent in what you do and how you act people will notice that.
If she doesn't want you for who you already are, let her be someone else's problem. Real dating advice no female will tell you. You will be miserable putting on a front for her
@@stephenpeter8350 dude she tells ya how to wear your hair... beard... clothes... how to approach even what cologne to wear and what to say. That isn't any version of yourself. That is completely simp adapting to the wants of a female. Do you tell females what to wear or how to approach you or what perfume she should buy? Stop being a simp
@@cbrown6848 That's cause some guys are completely clueless about grooming. And YES...if you like girls in dresses or skirts...tell them that and they'll usually wear them more often. If you like them in a certain color...just compliment them when they wear that color or say "I love how you look in blue." Women will do much of that if you prefer.
@@davidc2838 that's adorable... you think women will adapt their outfit and hair and how they talk to tailor to your needs? Wow good luck with that 😅🤣😅🤣😅🤣
At the end of the day. It’s a numbers game. The game favors us men. There are thousands of women to pick from. Just remember this isn’t permanent. It’s going to end at some point. Never put all your emotions in 1 basket. Oh yeah, many will label you arrogant and I have been called that and other disrespectful names. Be classy and move on.
Great advice Courtney!! If you're confident and in your masculine it puts her in her feminine and that's the best relationship a man and woman can have.
Those 4 traits that Ms Ryan enumerated, takes a lot of practice to implement. Women want me to be funny, cool, calm, & collected, debonair etc. Those traits most men have to develop, this is not movie, it takes a lot of conscious effort.
I absolutely love the stuff you're putting out here, it's actually helping me so much more than a lot of the red pill artists out there who give the whole "be a chad" vibe. I believe in being a dominant man but there's a difference between that and being a shitbox lol. Love your stuff Courtney, keep it up, I'm sure in time I will find my feminine woman of value! Big up from the UK
The best thing this channel ever did to me was introduce me to Alexander Graces’ channel. A lot of what you say is based off your preferences, as opposed to him where he just lays it out based on our biology as humans.
Alex's channel taught me so much For the first time i am now in a happy relationship because i finally went beyond the bs "be yourself" and actually did things how they were meant to be done
Thank you Courtney for these genuine pointers as it relates to men possessing & demonstrating appropriate masculinity that drives women to appreciate us. For myself personally, knowing what you want and pursuing it is a big factor. Not being apologetic about that drive. Be yourself but don't be creepy or rude. Also refuse the emasculating culture in social media it does not serve anyone. Don't be afraid to be articulate and expressive without showing off. Using your words as an adult is a great ice breaker. You don't have to re-invent the greatest lines ever, just talk. It also help to communicate with lots of different women even those you are not particularly wanting a deeper connection with. This will create the habit of communication so that when you do see a women you want to escalate with, it will be filled with greater ease. This way you won't be filled with approach anxiety or apprehension when you finally do talk. Women want us to give them attention but don't be a crazy fool. Men KNOW when chemistry is there (as well as when it's not) and having a bit of restraint makes the gentleman even more appealing. Any hoo, if she doesn't reciprocate take it in stride and move on, don't get stuck. Be easy going and playful. It never hurts if you can bring your sense of humor to share. Perhaps most of all believe in yourself (confidence is a great catalyst). Just some of the things that have worked for me.
That's alot of things to do. May work for some people. I just stayed myself, was a gentleman and a little shy in a boyish way I did have my hands in my pockets and still got my wife...go figure
My husband is also a natural introvert but he also has a great sense of humor, so although he was a bit awkward when we first met when he relaxed his sense of humor came out and then I really enjoyed being around him.
Thanks Courtney so helpful. It’s good to comment on a woman’s outfit or stand out item of clothing then to just move on with what you are doing in your day. It lets that woman know you have seen her and noticed something nice about her in a positive light.
I'd say eye contact while in a conversation is a display of confidence. I have an natural intense gaze so I mix in a look away for a split second and then go right back.
You mean: stay single forever? I'm 42. Never in my life did a woman any step towards me. It was always 100 steps for me, 1 for her. 100 for me, 1 for her etcetc.
I want to caution when being around charismatic men and women. Often, not always, charisma has gotten that person far, but this also results in underdeveloped character.
Having underdeveloped character has more to do with how a person was raised and what values their parents instilled in them than If they have high social skills.
@@jamesdotson1080 You cannot always blame your parents. Each man takes his own responsibilities. Are you going to tell the women "It was because of how I was raised" when you cheat and act dishonestly?
@@vancesnyder2426 Ok then let me spell it out for you. You initially made a claim that charisma = underdeveloped character often. Then I stated that people with underdeveloped character were MORE likely, notice I used the word more, to have lack of character from poor parenting than from having a high degree of social skills. Hence, your entire line of reasoning after my initial response was poorly thought out . If you have a statement to make on individual responsibility outside of the comments I made, just make a post explaining that. As a response to what I posted it is just nonsensical.
I have been in bed with as many as 50 women (personal reasons, not showing off), and the approach I always take is to be direct and show my intentions from the let go...I am not showing off, I am just saying that Courtney knows what she is talking about. Hope this helps many other guys out there. Always be clear, and if they say 'No', that is cool too...Don't be mean, or take advantage of any girl...love them, and give them attention as far as they ask for it; if they break it up, cool, let her go...Just respect them and love them for what they gave you. They will always thank you for not speaking about them with other guys. Respect, man, respect all the time. Some might even want to go back to bed with you just because you gave them all your respect.
Obviously. Courtney is pointing out why it is important for men to act confident around women. It gives them the best CHANCE of success. She did not say "do this and women will never say no to you".
@@gdblesscptamerica1726 Exactly. The point is to maximize your opportunities. By being confident, you might have only a 20% chance of success, but with no confidence, your chances of success might drop to 5%.
Hi Courtney, here is how I do it. First start up a conversation. Not long after I will ask the woman to look into my eyes. I simply say, "look into my eyes, I want to see if you are me" when she looks most of the time I say, " Oh yes, your me". It just takes off from there. I also pretty well see who me isn't.
“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts. While the stupid ones are full of confidence.” - Charles Bukowski
Oooh yes!!! Agree!!!!
And thats why iam succesfull , when im drunk😄
@@einfachtxbi23104 it could be that :D seriously
a lack of self confidencer woud say
So true last job I worked.
1. Be masculine
2. Be direct (make her feel safe and secure)
3. Have a purpose
4. Body language (eye contact and interest, and use charisma)
You’re welcome!
Please give Courtney a thumbs up, and remember, she is a unicorn on the crazy/hot axis!
Just watch the video...
@@ComicBookKing 😂
Wish there were captions on this, but I usually do listen in the car anyways. I like the background music. It's calming. And the content is great.
simp
@@phantomx3902 i agree, I like her compared to others BUT you cant forget she still a woman she can't see the male side and she won't be completely true from her side. So you have to realize its some simping if you do how she says🤷♂️
"Just be confident" is like saying "just be thinner," or "have more muscles." Just like having a slimmer or more muscular physique, confidence is the byproduct of engaging in a particular endeavor and producing a result. Confidence is built on successes. You can do one of two things, learn pick-up, which is fake confidence, or take the long road to improve yourself overall, your body, your career, your wardrobe, those will make you feel better, you'll get more looks, more opportunities because the laws of attraction begin to work in your favor. Don't look for a quick fix.
Very well stated. You are spot on. You need to put the work in to see results.
I agree but more succinctly; confidence comes from experience and competence. Experience in life and competence with something breeds confidence.
Something I read recently, don't worry about be a contestant in the dating game, be the prize. Which makes so much more sense, dedicate to improving yourself, financially, emotionally, intellectually, and you'll attract lots of people into your life
What if it never began and it's over
Pick up isn't fake confidence if you're authentic. Pick up is basically a sub category in social skills. Like any other skill, it's built through practice. I completely agree with you though that one should always work on bettering themselves in other areas though.
Such a valuable video! I don’t often promote books, but the book women’s magic truths on borlest is an exception. It’s packed with insights on wealth and self-care that are not widely known. All the best to everyone
I held a girls hand and danced with her for the first time yesterday. I really appreciate the work you do.
Reminder: Only pursue women who have returned the intrest/effort that you have given them.
An Underrated point^
So... no woman it is then?
@@fischersfritz468 Confidence bro.
@@dragonfist25 just experience from several decades
@@fischersfritz468 Level up man. Hit the gym and get yourself some nice clothes.
it reminds me of a powerful quote that changed my view on dating/relationships, here it is: "A Man doesn't need to respect a Woman in order to feel attracted to her, but a Woman needs to respect a Man in order to feel attracted to him"
That’s in the Bible. I am not religious, but that’s the only teaching on marriage. Men love your wife, women respect your husband. It’s as simple as that.
As a guy going through divorce at the moment I want to share my perspective of confidence. I agree with a comment on here that I saw. “You have to put in the work to be confident”. I think this dives deeper than just trying to exude confidence or just working out/ taking care of your body. So many men fail to take care of their mind. I feel like we as men don’t always take the time to sit in silence and have the hard conversations with ourselves of who we are and who we want to be. This going all the way back to past traumas from childhood usually. How you were raised, were you bullied?, were you belittled by a loved one for being sensitive or weak? I think we don’t always want to resolve our insecurities and work through them so we mask it with excuses out of fear which makes us lack confidence. I’ve spent a lot of nights since my divorce contemplating my life and what I have to offer. What things I can look back on In past relationships to make myself better for the next one. Looking at my self worth and how I view myself. Making sure I’m proactively changing the things about myself that were unresolved or that I don’t like. Actually unfucking your mind can help your confidence so much but it is an internal battle. You just gotta be willing to face those issues and sometimes even get help through therapy or through a good friend that won’t bullshit you.
Good thoughts. I went through a divorce 5 years ago. It was tough at the time, but I definitely found some positives. The main positive was, as you seem to imply in your post, the potential for self-evaluation and growth.
This might be the realest thing I’ve ever read on the internet. You got some real insight with these questions.
I feel a little fucked up and although I’m successful, have the looks, good job and all the material items I am just hurting from life’s experience to this point.
I have been in therapy for a couple of years and I’m FINALLY just able to start EMDR. I hope that changes my outlook on relationships and life in general. I realize that I am the problem, not others. I feel cautiously optimistic that things will get better.
Wow what an incredible comment. This has to be one of the best comments I have ever seen on a post. Everything you said is true. Thank you!
You're better off brother. I'm sorry you have to go through all that. These women are vampires.
I'm 62, and two young beautiful successful women are texting me, I told them if they weren't spiritual I wouldn't friend them.. push them away and they want me even more.. both learned that the most handsome man in the room has its drawback.. one was very motherly, kinda cute, and the other is a crypto trader and screenshot the profit she made with just one trade and taking me by the hand to school me into crypto..guys, give and the universe will return 10 folds.
I like using the term "walking around like you own the place". It shows confidence, purpose, awareness, responsibility and it shows you know what you are doing. Connect that with dressing well plus manners. From my own experience, displaying this behavior, people men & women will chase you down for help, directions and advice.
The thing that has leveled up my confidence the most is being real with who I am and what I want in life. Once I said, forget everyone else’s dreams for me, what is my desire? That’s when I really noticed my confidence start to go up! Once you live your life honest with your self and what you really want, confidence increases so much it’s crazy. Never been this confident in my life. Recommend this to every guy and really every woman out there. Know who you are and what you want. Be humble enough to learn but go for what you believe in and be flexible to adjust along the way if needed.
Well said.....Being courageous enough to be vulnerable helped me immensely...Openness honesty respect truthfulness compassion intimacy
I want to add that confidence comes naturally from doing the work! You can't just tell yourself to be confident no matter what. For example, if you have an exam and you didn't study or do the homework, then you can't just tell yourself to be confident. Don't focus on being confident. Focus on doing the work and bettering yourself and the confidence will follow naturally.
Agree ,confidence takes time and work if you don't have it , speaking from experience, not trying put put this women down but sometimes they act like if we just have to break out of an egg shell and be that perfect confidence man , it takes time adjusting yourself and practing it that's my experience.
Not always. Some people will doubt themselves regardless if they do the work. I know for myself that I have done alot of work like going to the gym and getting into med school but I still lack confidence.
@@mario125ww Go take pilot lessons, after about 20 hours your instructor will open his door and get out and tell you to circle the airfield and do three full stop landings. This is where real confidence and the chance you will die alone become real.
Good analogy
Wonderful. I agree.
Confidence is needed in all walks of life.
Yes sir!
Competence is far more important.
@@lylez00 You can be a competent employee in a company, but are you confident enough to speak during an organization meeting
@@nicholaspowell9309 but all this confidence in a meeting is just hot air if you aren't competent.
Here comes Johny singing I ve got a woman 😍
When I feel competent, I feel more confident.
Yes!!
And always learning leads to that also, yet even if you fail, at least you can confidently explain why you won't help someone (knowing more of what you can and cannot do), and that you had the gumption to try being confident in growing and confident you can handle failure
This is me with work lol. But don't always need that with other things.
@@CourtneyRyan no.
you underline the idea that competence and success derived from confidence which is highly false and more on the opposite. so timid introvert guys should just commit suicide?how the world would react? " oh he was weak anyway".
@@CourtneyRyan u are so kinky
Courtney, you are so eloquent and you tone of voice is just on right picht. I'm a 58 year old man and what you are saying I learned through trial and error. I like to listen to intelligent and well educated people, you are completely right. Thanks and and sincerely congratulations.
Here's another *big* one: *handling situations.* If you can fix it for her when it's broken, or handle things in an emergency, it's *huge.* But it's also on her to be *appreciative,* rather than demanding about every little whim.
Right, cool story, we already know women like to date their dad. Yeah, I like a person who can fix everything for me too. It's just a manipulation from women to get men to do everything for them. Omg it's so hot how you do everything for me and I just exist in this relationship.
A difficult position on that subject, sometimes they don't want it to fixed, just listened to about w/e they're talking about. Good luck understanding when is what. We, as men, have an initial reaction to give a solution.
@@gulashonu I hear ya, but I'm more on about if she asks for assistance, or you're caught in a sticky situation.
Just to clarify, dudes
Pursuing and Chasing are very different things. Pursuing is knowing the woman wants to spend time with you while Chasing is going after the ones who either don’t want to spend time with you or are playing hard to get but have absolutely no real genuine interest or respect for you. It doesn’t matter if you really like the hard-to-get girl in your vision, she needs to respect your time. Time you are offering to spend time getting to know her. Remember this and your confidence will increase dramatically.
So well said ..
Amen, brother. Most women have no respect for you or your time.
Yes yes and yes. Being direct and polarising the situation with a woman is vital. Let her know what you want early doors so she knows where you stand. Move away if she's not on your page and finding the right women will be SO much easier! Stay strong brothers 👊
Ty for this comment. ♥️
Real talk.™
Eye contact, posture, and hygiene (grooming). These three things go a long way. As you watch how women respond, your confidence will grow naturally.
That's true
When I keep my posture straight, I just look like a serial killer trying to one up everyone around me.
@@Triangularly duct tape and zip ties
Even if you’re not “confident” it’s better to be yourself than “fake” something you’re not. I believe true confidence only comes with experience so that means putting yourself out there and brushing off rejection.
This is even more important for you're own mental health and sanity as well! Because when you find someone who feels the same about you that you do about them its genuine. Confidence will grow from that also 👌
Confidence is one of things where you can actually fake it until you make it. Like you said yourself, it takes experience, and faking it will give you that experience until it comes naturally where you're no longer faking it.
@@sleazybtd sure you can fake it but women can sniff that out more than we can
@@charliedallachie3539 Keep doing it until it's no longer fake. Go through the motions enough and it starts to become part of who you are.
It is impossible to be confident just because a woman on YT suggests it. You might as well say "just be happy." Well if that were true and possible no-one would ever get depressed.
Confidence is contextual. In the right situation and right mental state you may feel confident. But you can't just be it. Lol That's dumb.
If I said "just be scared" you'll think I'm a lunatic. You can't be scared if you're not feeling fear. The same is true with confidence. You have to feel a certain level of emotional well being to be confident. Just telling someone to be confident is moronic. Emotions are not a light switch you turn on and off at a whim! Any woman saying just be confident is talking complete nonsense. They have no clue how humans process emotions.
Eye contact changed everything for me
If I were to share a few things I've noticed women like about me they are:
1) Trust in who you are and don't care what other people think about you.
2) Don't be afraid to fail or get rejected (and don't take it personally when it happens (which it will)).
3) Listen to her and really process what she's telling you, both rationally and emotionally. Being superficial is one of the WORST things you can do when talking to a girl/woman.
4) Talk honestly and to-the-point about yourself. Trying to impress her by talking about how great you are and how much money you make will only make you look insecure and unattractive.
5) Don't be afraid to show her (in a subtle way) with your posture, body language and eyes that part of you want to rip off her clothes and take her right here and now on the table.
Need to have a good table!😂 I tried with my girlfriend the kitchen pantry! Really good. 😂
Not necessarily a good ending, but I was dating a girl last summer, and at the end she said to me "I wanted to break up with you a while ago, but your confidence is a addictive. I wanted to be around you." Confidence is very attractive to women.
Why did she want to dump u then lol
because his balls were too heavy for her to handle
Clearly there is something about you that the girl didn't like hence the reason why she wanted to dump you a while ago. It's perturbing to think most of your time together she was actually going to end the relationship but decided because of your addictive 'confidence' she's decided to stick with you, but for how long? As soon as your confidence wanes, she does a runner?
@@dougie1968 addictive like heroin. It's mindblowin why she stayed. Theres no love in whamen, only benefits for her.
1. "Success comes along with masculinity."
2. Being direct, which makes her feel "safe" and "secure."
3. Having a purpose, but goes on to describe leadership position, so not a purpose, but a successful, tail-end part of ambition.
4. Body language, but mentions charisma, aka someone who has the ability to influence and garner reverence from others AKA leadership qualities.
You all see what all of these have in common yet? Guys. Be SUCCESSFUL. Success and (years of) experience and accumulated assets, the ability to make their lives easier, by you being better, better, better, better, just oh so good at everything.
She's trying to pull a gamer move by suggesting women like the "foundational" quality. But that's not how confidence works. It's the other way around. The thing with confidence, is that you get it AFTER you achieve something. Confidence is not found in a vacuum. It's not something people just have, and THAT's what makes them successful.
So guys, don't look at this as anything other than a woman telling you that she wants what you can provide for her.
Point taken.
Exactly.
You are correct. My wife and I met when we were 17. We got married at 20. Neither of us had anything, just each other. We grew up together and had our successes and failures together. We've been married 38 years. Nowadays, females are spoiled. They want to marry a guy who has already gone through the struggles to achieve success and they simply swoop in and reap the rewards. It's disgusting. It's no wonder so many marriages end in divorce.
@@CapstoneTheMagician Really no wonder, when most of the marriages that end in divorce begin with a woman marrying a man so she can divorce him and have half his stuff.
Don't be stupid !!!!! Women will luv ya if you have MONEY ,,, then they divorce Ya and take it understand this and you'll do ok
I appreciate the message. To all those guys out there wondering how to be confident, as if you weren’t working on being that this whole time. Most people label ‘COURAGE’ as confidence, because you appear to them as confident. So on the path to being confident, be courageous in the face of nervousness and fear. Feel all those emotions and act anyway… All those things described here will develop was you work through inexperience.
As a confident man, I would add that I actively listen to her. I seek to understand what she is saying, how she is feeling, and what she is committed to or concerned about - her why. I will then reflect what I understand back to her, and ask her if what I understand is correct or if I'm missing anything. I do all this without trying to fix or change her, and without any ego.
"My name is George...I'm unemployed and live with my parents..."
😂
Legend
Just be very confident when you say it! You can't lose...
I started feeling more confident when I stopped caring what other people thought.
I got on MY mission and could care less what anyone thought about that, ESPECIALLY when people try to negate or put down.
This includes my appearance, my clothing, my hobbies, my vehicles...
What is your mission? And what is it fulfilling in your life 6 months later?
Yup. I care less about what people think of me. You can keep to yourself and not bother anybody and people will make shit up about you
Confidence isn't easy for a lot of people, me included. We have spent years, childhood into adulthood, having the confidence beat out of us by those around us including family. Some of us have been the butt of jokes, pranks, and bullying for decades/years so confidence isn't something that comes easy. Start with the younger generation. Stop telling people that the guy/girl is out of their league. Stop holding them back from greatness and push them to see how far they can go in life.
I was bullied, criticized by parents, ridiculed, an oddball in high school, had no girlfriends, but as I turned 25 or so I noticed girls like me, and I started to act very naturally and confident around them and then had tons of girls until I was 35 or so. So your bad childhood and teenage years don't matter at all. Once you notice you are good at something, no matter what they told you in kindergarten, you get confidence and everything is bright and you succeed. It happend to me later in many different fields.
@@romanryuninvalek487 what changed when you were 25? i'm in the exact same boat as you were.
@zxcbbnm7552 I guess I just got some confidence starting with a few girls and then I noticed it was easy to get a date with the most beautiful girls, actually, it wasn't such a quick transition, the most difficult was to lose my virginity with a girl and then slowly I began to get some confidence and relax around girls
"Masculinity is sexy and desirable to women"
"Masculinity is toxic to women"
I feel fortunate to have been raised in the 50s and 60s. Life was beautiful then
I completely wish I was born back then as well, there are so many games now days, "try-outs", and presumptions it's far from authentic.
Don’t forget the “ sh$t - tests “ men MUST pass when in a 2022 relationship !
Bla ha ha !!!!
( I’m 61 )
Masculinity that doesn't have to prove anything and makes room for her without machismo and knows how to lift a woman up and love her as an equal is not toxic. Masculinity that gaslights, puts down, is insecure and unstable that attacks, is abusive and diminishes her and her empowerment as a woman is toxic. There is a huge difference.
Women want a traditional man, but women are not traditional 🤦♂️
I agree , I have a 19 year old son and I feel sorry for him , young men today don't know where they stand
I’m confident in how much the world is changing and I can’t keep up
*These seemingly small gestures can convey confidence and make a huge impact in interactions. Additionally, the suggestion to embrace vulnerability is crucial; it shows emotional strength and can create a deeper connection.*
If you chase woman you will go broke but you chase success you never run out of woman. 😎
Truth bro
Wisdom
As a woman I would agree. Women like ambitious men who have their sh*t together.
The eye contact one is extremely difficult for most people (like me) on the autism spectrum. We just feel uncomfortable looking straight into people’s souls... Even if we like them. 😅🙈
Thank you for making these great videos, btw! 🙏🏻❤️
I can relate. I am autistic and I often make eye contact. But when I do, people always ask me if I’m on drugs because I can’t help it when my eyes dilate. I don’t like making eye contact
Success is not about comfort, but would it help you to focus on a point between the eyes?
I have aspergers and, it is a new thing that people are learning about, I will always have a little awkwardness, cause my brain is just wired differently, Not just with women, but with men. The good thing is that, I am learning all these new social skills, that I had no idea of because of my aspergers, but the 2 decades in the past of being rejected, you can't get that shit out of your head overnight, I really hate the word confidence
I had to work on my Confidence because I wasn't born with it. I'm an Introvert too like you Courtney so I had to get used to putting myself out there so I did that in my past jobs and in my hobbies that helped me build Confidence and I'm still refining and improving it and I'm reaping the fruits of my Labor. I approached the most attractive Woman at a mall and I was so Confident that she felt nervous because she was into me but Never went further because she was already taken and I could tell she wanted to break the touch barrier with me because she was playing with her hair around me but I have too much Self-Respect and I I Integrity so I said Goodbye and I felt really Masculine when I did that and Loved it. The tips you give on this video are awesome!
simple and clear :) i noticed the woman gets excited when i am confident and caring of her so she feels i am using my power for her wellbeing, safety.
I'll be honest. Used to watch your videos years ago and was not really impressed or convinced. But growth and maturity make you see things differently and more objectively. Your honesty and well-meaning advice make more sense now.
You know it’s a good day when Courtney posts ❤️🔥
🥰🥰
Indeed I believe!!
Absolute rubbish
Some interesting observations in this video. I was raised in a very "progressive" part of the country during a time when women were insisting they be treated as the equals of men, which meant among other things, that girls were encouraged to cultivate typically male traits such as dominance, aggression, competitiveness, assertiveness, and a strong spirit of independence. By the time I reached adulthood, I was convinced that "feminine" women who did not exhibit these traits were weak and inferior. It was therefore clear that I should be attracted to more masculine women, so it remained a mystery why I still found only "feminine" women attractive. Many years later, after listening to what evolutionary psychologists had to say on the subject, it become clear why this was the case.
Sorry to hear you drank the cool-aid buddy.
@@jeffaber8332 I only had a few sips, so it wasn't fatal.
@@wardandrew23412 good to hear.
And this is why people like Amber Heard exist :)))
The term "progressive" should be changed to "regressive" because it sure doesn't progress the human species in a positive direction
Thank you for another good, useful video.👍 I’m an older guy and this reminds me of my awkward youth. The things that I think gave me confidence were life experience, and work ethic. Experiencing things enough to know what I have an aptitude for. Work ethic: if a job is worth doing, it’s worth doing right the first time. Sun Tzu teaches us that battles are won or lost before they are fought. Being prepared, adequately supplied, and well organized reinforces Sun Tzu’s philosophy.
I start off being cocky, but once I learn more about the person my insecurities and cockiness fades away. I'm more like a gift don't know what's in it until you open it up. 👍
This was actually quite insightful. I expected shallow "just be confident" tips but youre right. I am in my head all the time. I do "beat around the bush" and I dont go for what I want. Thats definetly a change I need to make.
Confidence isn't a toy you buy from a store, it's a survival instinct that comes from learning through harsh experiences. If you want to be confident only because women like confident men then you are a gone case even before you start to live. Be kind to yourself brothers.
This should be among top comments. Spot on, buddy! Spot on! XD
Competence comes from learning, not confidence. If I know how something works, then i am able to judge my chance of success. Confidence would be an unfounded trust in my skills.
It never began its ovaa
@Evidence Based Health I hear you and yes you aren't wrong either. But friend, seriously is this the only way you can look at things? Women testing men and making them feel insure? Or you can have it as a litmus test as to how much you need to better yourself? And besides no woman can ever make you insecure about anything unless you are doing the same, whatever you are whoever you are just don't let others run the psychological drama in your head.
Great message. Hear alot about how important confidence is. Purpose is key, I would encourage anyone who’s not confident that they can become confident. It’s also a learned behavior.
I can fake confidence long enough to attract someone, but because it's fake it never lasts. Actually being confident sounds amazing.
If your genuine, you'll attract people who are genuine. Call out how you feel and if there the right fit. You'll find someone you can relate to.
Confidence can be boosted by success, but it is also recursive, because confidence leads to success. Sometimes outcomes are beyond your control but the effort are in your control. We step up and we take our swings. Sometimes we connect and knock it out of the park.
Dr. Alok from healthygamer said it best. Your options (in your mind) are to do nothing, or to Fail Spectacularly. When you succeed, it is unexpected, not because you expected to fail, but because you aren't attached to the outcome of success, especially with something as random and unpredictable as dating! Hope this helps.
Don't worry friend I'll put on some extra confidence for you today.
So-called "fake confidence" is also known as bravado.
Real confidence originates from an internalized locus of control meaning you've taken back your power to choose from all those externalized sources of "power" you projected it at and bc you have done so you are now capable of making independent choices for yourself with little or no influence from others.
As another poster says, I was born and grew up during the 1950s and 60s. I am confident. I can discuss many important subjects in depth that most men just cannot do. My IQ is 141, but I tell very few people about this. I let my overall knowledge of many different subjects say this for me. I am the type of person that does not stand around and wish someone would take action. I am that one person you see in a crowd that DOES take action to help. When I was single, I was the only short man (5'4") that the tall ladies would dance with. They always told me I make them look good on the dance floor. My mother was told by a 25-year-old female friend of hers that I was the sexiest looking young man (I was 15 at the time) that she had ever seen. She told my mother that someday I would drive the girls crazy. Well, she was right. But not in the way she was thinking of. I have never had a problem getting the attention of good-looking women. Unfortunately, I was born with Tourettes and OCD. But I did not know it until I was 44. This made me stick out like a sore thumb to the point that girls would drop me because neither one of us had any idea why I ticked the way I did. I have been a business owner for 25 years, plus I am a published author. I have also been told that my sense of humor is good enough for me to be an onstage stand-up comic. But I cannot even begin to describe how lonely I feel about 99% of the time, even though I am married to a doctor, and our daughter has her Master's in Strategic Management.
I really like how you talk when you're giving these tips. It's as if I'm listening to a friend rather than a presentation.
One disclaimer. This may all achieve results unless she’s just not into you.
Something that enjoy to do is when I catch a woman staring at me, telling her with my hand and a smile "hey, come over here". You'll be impressed how it works. Also works as a filter the attention seekers from the interested ones ✌🏻
0:01. Let me stop you right there. Confident men never listen to what a woman has to say about them. Deal with it. 😎
She will feel the connection real quick in a good way and that opens up a whole brand new conversation with her
Gents, the best piece of advice I’ve ever is this: confident feelings follow confident actions, not the other way around.
Confidence is built over time, you can't just "be confident". I can speak for myself, I've lost 140 pounds in the last 18 months, and losing all that weight gave me confidence for other things, like approaching women I like, and just talking to them freely. You have to work on yourself first before confidence kicks in....for way to long I was shy, scared to even talk to women, and that part of my character was created because I didn't feel good in the way that I looked, and how people saw me.
Me: Seems easy enough
My anxiety: you shall not pass!
☆,😂
practice
Love the Lord of the Rings reference!
Ladies: We have Matthew Hussey...
Gentlemen: We have Courtney!!! 😉😉😉
Yes!! ❤️
I gotta watch this Matthew
Me who watches both: *I am superiority*
Matthew Hussey panders to women. Stephan Speaks is better though he does some slight pandering.
Anxiety for me was about being judged as not good enough by family, contemporaries, and other authority figures like teachers and bosses.
But once I started internalizing my own locus of control I started caring less and less what other people thought of me and started caring proportionally more about what I thought of myself.
It was freeing bc I was no longer a slave to societal values or culture.
I started feeling comfortable in my own skin.
It was wonderful.
'make her feel safe and secure that allows her to be feminine and not defensive' - never heard that but makes perfect sense.Subscribed
I sort of see too much confidence being a bad thing, almost like it goes hand in hand with ignorance or stubborness.
Im usually quite confident, but i fail to show confidence in activities im not familiar with or in subjects i dont know about, i ask a lot of questions and am not afraid of admitting i dont know something, but once i do understand something i will talk about it or do it with confidence.
That's great because you are less likely to fall prey to the Dunning-Kruger effect. Asking questions and admitting you don't know something is confident because you're confident in your ability to grow and learn and make your own conclusions.
She`s doing a " DEEP DIVE " into men`s confidence ... and it turns out to be a guy with job not afraid to hit on chicks ... quite deep ... psychologist are mesmerized at depth of this analysis ...
Do you always listen at such a shallow level?
@@sschario60 I only match the level of what I listen to
Pro tip: Never speak negatively about anything related to work in a whining tone. You're seen as a complainer who can't get a better job. Sometimes corporate culture has its weird side where you don't understand, but talk about it objectively, not in a whiny tone. Even if you don't like your job, take it like a man and don't make it a big deal out of it.
If you don't like your job...CHANGE it. Life's too short to have a crappy job.
@@davidc2838 Being negative and complaining while not doing anything about things you can change is one of the biggest turnoffs and signs of weakness
@@monkeytrollhunter
Yes.
I know.
Which is why I said change your job...if you don't like it.
I left a corporate job and built my own companies.
It's very easy to change jobs / companies for most people. If you're not happy take action.
@@davidc2838 Yeah, I made a career change by going back to college as an adult while working. I got a degree in math and engineering, got myself a software engineer job at a big tech company.
Smiling is something I'd add. First impressions are important and a smile is always welcoming
When I was in fun mode, always remembered what my dad told me, "go strait to the point and tell them the truth about why you approached them", you`ll be surprised how much fun youll have and how many girls out there think exactly the same way, and apreciate you not promising the world just to have good clean fun. He said, "you need to understand that not all women out there are looking for a husband, many of them are professionals with a successful busy career with no time for drama or long term relationships".
I was a bit skeptical at the beginng, but, man was he right!!!!!!
I tried to pass that experience to most of my friends, (not many), but not everyone is cut out to do that I guess.
Thanks for explaining confidence in a way that is easy to understand because everyone always say be confident but never give men really good examples of how to be and show confidence. Basically if you want a woman to feel feminine around you; you have to give her qualities she may not have which are masculine good ones. I think being humble is a great example of being confident too. Anyways wishing you a great day Courtney 🌠
Being humble shows you are confident enough in yourself that you don't have to prove anything.
You’re the best, Georgio! So true ❤️
@@SteinerSE that is so very true man. Excellent clarification on my comment 😁👊 Keep being awesome Thomas
so women are not humble...?
My son is in high school and I’m teaching everything your talking about. 👍
Bro I'd recommend you to check out Casey zander
That's parenting.
Well this advice is even less likely to work on a high school girl. Trying to make him the school simp that's laughed at? 😅🤣😅🤣
Idk if you attended HS but those girls care about popularity and looks and height and expensive clothes
@@OrangePony75 That is proper parenting, indeed.
Some people who have had children are not fit to be parents because they themselves have not reached adulthood. This is horrible for the children.
The way you say my name is courtney ryan , My heart goes 😍😍
Her voice matches the music so well! I like listening to these as I drive places. They both calm my mind. The ideas she talks about promote clarity and productivity, and those are valuable.
I'm sure you will get her with those words Pappu.
@@joeschleprock3409 sometimes I get embarrassed for these guys simping as if that EVER works 😅🤣😅🤣
@@cbrown6848 Dude chill , I am no simp , I did not tell her that to get her attention , I said it because i wanted to say , If i honestly thought she sounds horrible , I'd have said that too.
I really like her whole name, Courtney Christine Ryan - the alliteration of the c's & r's is just beautiful.
I know this reply will definitely get some negative reactions, but I’ve watched a few our Courtney’s videos and she seems genuine, so I’ll go ahead and post it here: My fundamental question is, can confidence coexist with humility and compassion?
In my experience, confident people often (though not always), are rather egocentric and, sadly, quite cruel to others. They are definitely purpose-driven, which I can admire to a point, but they don’t seem to care who they hurt or what damage they cause as long as they get what they want. These folks also tend to see things like humility, gratitude, compassion, and kindness as traits of weakness. Again, this is all based on my own experience, which my be limited, but it’s what I’ve encountered most often with confident folks.
I’ve generally taken the position that humility is a better trait to cultivate, as I feel it engenders in someone a sense of gratitude to one’s mentors and friends, and it cultivates the idea that you can continue to improve while reminding you that you’re no better than anyone else. That said, for some people, maybe these things - humility and confidence - can coexist. I just don’t know.
In my own case, I can say that I’m going after what I want and it’s a lifelong dream. I’m in graduate school and pursuing a doctorate in fields that I love. I enjoy my job and the research that I get to do. I especially love teaching. I’d never describe myself as confident, though, and I certainly don’t have charisma, being a rather shy, awkward nerd, and all. (And I very much enjoy being a nerd in many ways, even though I know it might be a turn off.) Much of my life, too, I’ve struggled with (and continue to struggle with) self-loathing, and that may also impact how I see all of this as well, so can’t act as if I’m totally neutral here.
But, yeah: Can confidence coexist with humility and compassion or not?
100% correct. Male is not just a feeling, hormone, look, or dress code. It is being 100% committed.
Apparently a little dark humor helps too :) From a discussion yesterday.
Girl: You're soo sweet
Me (as per my normal self): That's what my doctor told me too, well, he said diabetes, but the same thing...
It worked, got a "Ok, sweet AND funny" back. (I love making people laugh and smile)
Great joke bro surely gonna still it.😂can I?
@@chinmaybhabadYT Go ahead!
Sounds like she just "ate it right up" with regard to your dark humor.
She’s kind of like the record label telling the artist what will sell.
Is that good or bad? In 50 cent's case it was bad.
@@slickcatricky7694 I think sometimes good, but often bad. Sometimes the label knows what the artist is going for, or the producer can help the album flourish. And sometimes they just get the artist to appeal to the masses, most of which barely care but will get the song some more streams.
One thing I noticed is that a lot of these attributes come with age, but OTOH now I'm middle aged I care a lot less about impressing girls/women anyway.
Interesting how that has happened. Feel the same way.
so true
After watching this video and others, I am realizing that I do more confident things than I thought, still gotta improve, not only with women but everything
I feel consistency is probably one the most underrated traits. Being consistence show strength and can enhance masculinity. Everyone has ups and downs, but if you're consistent in what you do and how you act people will notice that.
If she doesn't want you for who you already are, let her be someone else's problem. Real dating advice no female will tell you. You will be miserable putting on a front for her
I don’t think she’s saying be someone your not. She’s saying be the best version of yourself.
@@stephenpeter8350 dude she tells ya how to wear your hair... beard... clothes... how to approach even what cologne to wear and what to say. That isn't any version of yourself. That is completely simp adapting to the wants of a female.
Do you tell females what to wear or how to approach you or what perfume she should buy? Stop being a simp
@@stephenpeter8350 guys like you make female privilege and entitlement and the Karens of the world possible
@@cbrown6848 That's cause some guys are completely clueless about grooming. And YES...if you like girls in dresses or skirts...tell them that and they'll usually wear them more often. If you like them in a certain color...just compliment them when they wear that color or say "I love how you look in blue." Women will do much of that if you prefer.
@@davidc2838 that's adorable... you think women will adapt their outfit and hair and how they talk to tailor to your needs? Wow good luck with that 😅🤣😅🤣😅🤣
At the end of the day. It’s a numbers game. The game favors us men. There are thousands of women to pick from. Just remember this isn’t permanent. It’s going to end at some point. Never put all your emotions in 1 basket. Oh yeah, many will label you arrogant and I have been called that and other disrespectful names. Be classy and move on.
That women say that they like men with self-confidence is also a way to avoid taking the initiative yourself and risk being rejected.
Bro like take something positive from the video and stop looking for the downside of things ffs
Great advice Courtney!! If you're confident and in your masculine it puts her in her feminine and that's the best relationship a man and woman can have.
Those 4 traits that Ms Ryan enumerated, takes a lot of practice to implement. Women want me to be funny, cool, calm, & collected, debonair etc. Those traits most men have to develop, this is not movie, it takes a lot of conscious effort.
I absolutely love the stuff you're putting out here, it's actually helping me so much more than a lot of the red pill artists out there who give the whole "be a chad" vibe. I believe in being a dominant man but there's a difference between that and being a shitbox lol. Love your stuff Courtney, keep it up, I'm sure in time I will find my feminine woman of value! Big up from the UK
No there isn't. Not if we are operating under your definition of a shitbox.
What you think of as a "dominant" man is probably not actually dominant.
Smile when out and about because I’ve made a successful career. Random complements to ppl in public
The best thing this channel ever did to me was introduce me to Alexander Graces’ channel. A lot of what you say is based off your preferences, as opposed to him where he just lays it out based on our biology as humans.
Alex's channel taught me so much
For the first time i am now in a happy relationship because i finally went beyond the bs "be yourself" and actually did things how they were meant to be done
Thank you Courtney for these genuine pointers as it relates to men possessing & demonstrating appropriate masculinity that drives women to appreciate us. For myself personally, knowing what you want and pursuing it is a big factor. Not being apologetic about that drive. Be yourself but don't be creepy or rude. Also refuse the emasculating culture in social media it does not serve anyone. Don't be afraid to be articulate and expressive without showing off. Using your words as an adult is a great ice breaker. You don't have to re-invent the greatest lines ever, just talk. It also help to communicate with lots of different women even those you are not particularly wanting a deeper connection with. This will create the habit of communication so that when you do see a women you want to escalate with, it will be filled with greater ease. This way you won't be filled with approach anxiety or apprehension when you finally do talk. Women want us to give them attention but don't be a crazy fool. Men KNOW when chemistry is there (as well as when it's not) and having a bit of restraint makes the gentleman even more appealing. Any hoo, if she doesn't reciprocate take it in stride and move on, don't get stuck. Be easy going and playful. It never hurts if you can bring your sense of humor to share. Perhaps most of all believe in yourself (confidence is a great catalyst). Just some of the things that have worked for me.
Hardest for me to do was eye contact until recently when I stared in to her eyes,I’m sure touched a part of her heart.
The most confidence I have is when I see a hot girl and I know I can have better. I can do this because I made it in this country from nothing.
Women love a GOOD LOOKING confident man, confidence with out looks is creepy or "toxic masculinity " whatever they want to say why....
Depends on the vibe of the person also to some degree. You need to be giving value interms of good vibes. Tone of voice, playfulness. And you're free.
And be ready for shit tests. Women are you're cute little sisters.
That's alot of things to do. May work for some people. I just stayed myself, was a gentleman and a little shy in a boyish way I did have my hands in my pockets and still got my wife...go figure
My husband is also a natural introvert but he also has a great sense of humor, so although he was a bit awkward when we first met when he relaxed his sense of humor came out and then I really enjoyed being around him.
Thanks Courtney so helpful. It’s good to comment on a woman’s outfit or stand out item of clothing then to just move on with what you are doing in your day. It lets that woman know you have seen her and noticed something nice about her in a positive light.
I'd say eye contact while in a conversation is a display of confidence. I have an natural intense gaze so I mix in a look away for a split second and then go right back.
Every man should have an over weight credit card 💳 and living his life independently and freely 🦅
Don't chase women. You are the prize. Make them chase you. This applies more and more the older you get.
How about 'don't BOTHER with women.'
Obviously they don't see the prize, 'cause I haven't had one chase me...
You mean: stay single forever? I'm 42. Never in my life did a woman any step towards me. It was always 100 steps for me, 1 for her. 100 for me, 1 for her etcetc.
@@fischersfritz468 Wow, dude!
Love from India♥♥♥ 45 vids under 1 min...this was actually a needed vid...also HOUSE TOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She ain't gonna give you a house tour stfu
You rock!
@@CourtneyRyan u better show up in the jake Paul vs tyron Woodley ...like c'mon it's literally happening in Cleveland
@@webst4698 i already said that yesterday stfu
@@travisscott636 idc
I ignore women. It's life and success first, women secondary. Now that it's all in the bag, all I have to do is change nothing at all. Perfect!
Guys even if u less confident or reserved u can still be loved
Aren't these more like general life tips instead of just for guys dealing with women?
I'm a guy who loves confident women.
I want to caution when being around charismatic men and women. Often, not always, charisma has gotten that person far, but this also results in underdeveloped character.
Having underdeveloped character has more to do with how a person was raised and what values their parents instilled in them than If they have high social skills.
@@jamesdotson1080 You cannot always blame your parents. Each man takes his own responsibilities. Are you going to tell the women "It was because of how I was raised" when you cheat and act dishonestly?
@@vancesnyder2426 Carefully read what you replied to. My wording was precise and I meant precisely what I said.
@@jamesdotson1080 And I responded to what you said. People need to be responsible adults.
@@vancesnyder2426 Ok then let me spell it out for you. You initially made a claim that charisma = underdeveloped character often. Then I stated that people with underdeveloped character were MORE likely, notice I used the word more, to have lack of character from poor parenting than from having a high degree of social skills. Hence, your entire line of reasoning after my initial response was poorly thought out . If you have a statement to make on individual responsibility outside of the comments I made, just make a post explaining that. As a response to what I posted it is just nonsensical.
I have been in bed with as many as 50 women (personal reasons, not showing off), and the approach I always take is to be direct and show my intentions from the let go...I am not showing off, I am just saying that Courtney knows what she is talking about. Hope this helps many other guys out there.
Always be clear, and if they say 'No', that is cool too...Don't be mean, or take advantage of any girl...love them, and give them attention as far as they ask for it; if they break it up, cool, let her go...Just respect them and love them for what they gave you. They will always thank you for not speaking about them with other guys. Respect, man, respect all the time. Some might even want to go back to bed with you just because you gave them all your respect.
Self-confidence is not a switch. It's a muscle.
1:29, no playing games? this is all women do
Thank you for always such helpful advice
So happy to help!
ADVICE. This word cannot be pluralized in English. (It can in most other languages though)
While what courtney is saying is true it's all upto the women. Even women deny men with confidence.
Obviously. Courtney is pointing out why it is important for men to act confident around women. It gives them the best CHANCE of success. She did not say "do this and women will never say no to you".
@@gdblesscptamerica1726 yes i know even with what courtney says women deny those as well.
@@gdblesscptamerica1726 Exactly. The point is to maximize your opportunities. By being confident, you might have only a 20% chance of success, but with no confidence, your chances of success might drop to 5%.
Hi Courtney, here is how I do it. First start up a conversation. Not long after I will ask the woman to look into my eyes. I simply say, "look into my eyes, I want to see if you are me" when she looks most of the time I say, " Oh yes, your me". It just takes off from there. I also pretty well see who me isn't.
All good stuff and spot on! Took me years to learn it , but once you do you will never look back. works on women of all ages too.....