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Dr. Tynessa Franks
США
Добавлен 10 янв 2020
Dr. Franks is a licensed clinical psychologist who has specialized in helping adolescents and adults overcome social anxiety.
New videos are not being actively posted to this channel, and Dr. Franks is not currently providing treatment for social anxiety.
The information contained in the videos may still be of help to those who struggle with social anxiety.
Disclaimer: All of the videos and information on this channel are created for informational purposes only and are not intended to be or to replace psychotherapy. No guarantees are made regarding specific results or outcomes related to the information shared.
New videos are not being actively posted to this channel, and Dr. Franks is not currently providing treatment for social anxiety.
The information contained in the videos may still be of help to those who struggle with social anxiety.
Disclaimer: All of the videos and information on this channel are created for informational purposes only and are not intended to be or to replace psychotherapy. No guarantees are made regarding specific results or outcomes related to the information shared.
Social Anxiety and What Your Therapist Isn't Telling You
Social Anxiety Disorder | My Two-Level Approach To Improving Your Social Anxiety | Dr. Tynessa Franks
If you truly want to improve your social anxiety, I believe you'll need to take what I call a two-level approach. One approach is commonly taught in cognitive behavioral therapy. The second approach is taught less often, but is very important nonetheless.
🚨Subscribe to this channel here: 👇
ruclips.net/user/DrTynessaFranksfeatured
⬇⬇Check out the video and then let me know this in the comments:⬇⬇
*What are your thoughts about learning how to improve your social anxiety from BOTH of the angles discussed in the video?
I'd love to hear from you!
▶️Watch my other videos 💥💥
---------------------------...
If you truly want to improve your social anxiety, I believe you'll need to take what I call a two-level approach. One approach is commonly taught in cognitive behavioral therapy. The second approach is taught less often, but is very important nonetheless.
🚨Subscribe to this channel here: 👇
ruclips.net/user/DrTynessaFranksfeatured
⬇⬇Check out the video and then let me know this in the comments:⬇⬇
*What are your thoughts about learning how to improve your social anxiety from BOTH of the angles discussed in the video?
I'd love to hear from you!
▶️Watch my other videos 💥💥
---------------------------...
Просмотров: 1 402
Видео
Anxiety During Job Interviews? These 3 Tips WILL Help
Просмотров 1,8 тыс.Год назад
No one truly LOVES job interviews (okay, maybe there are a FEW who do?), but when you have social anxiety, you might avoid job interviews at all costs. The problem is - there IS a huge cost to avoiding job interviews. Research has shown that people who deal with problematic social anxiety are more likely to be unemployed and underemployed and to earn lower wages than those who do not have probl...
Interviewing With Social Anxiety: What To Do BEFOREHAND
Просмотров 5 тыс.Год назад
Job interviews are stressful for just about everyone, but especially those that deal with social anxiety. A fear of negative evaluation is one of the core elements of anxiety, and it’s this same fear that’s triggered when being interviewed by an employer. If anxiety is hindering your job interview performance, you need to watch this video. We’re going to cover how to prepare for an interview BE...
3 Tips To Tackle Post-Pandemic Social Anxiety
Просмотров 172Год назад
We have all changed as a result of the pandemic. For those with social anxiety, your experience could’ve gotten worse during isolation - or even now as things slowly return to normal and the demands to be social have increased. To help you navigate these post-pandemic times, I’m arming you with three of my most practical tips for managing social anxiety. Then at the very end of this video, I’m ...
Envy: What You NEED To Know About The Misunderstood Emotion
Просмотров 302Год назад
There are giant misconceptions around envy and jealousy, the main one being that they are the same exact emotion. This couldn’t be any further from the truth. Envy is the need to have what someone else has. Jealousy, however, is the fear of losing someone to another person. In this video, I’m going to bust other myths surrounding the emotion of envy. It may not seem like it, but envy is more co...
Psychologist Answers Top 5 Questions About Social Anxiety in 2022
Просмотров 260Год назад
As a psychologist, I get a lot of questions about social anxiety, but the five questions coming up MOST often in 2022 are the five I cover in this video. From medication to the pandemic to feelings of hopelessness, I’m giving you evidence-based answers on everything. If you listen to all five of my answers, I honestly believe you’ll have EVERYTHING you need to start working on your social anxie...
How To Be Your Authentic Self: 3 Life-Changing Strategies
Просмотров 579Год назад
Being vulnerable and authentic isn’t easy - especially if you suffer from social anxiety. Very few of us want to show our complete true selves and that includes our flaws. However, opening yourself up with others could be just what you need to improve your mental health, forge closer relationships, and feel more satisfied with your life. If those outcomes sound desirable to you, then you’ll wan...
The Link Between Cell Phones & Social Anxiety (& How To Break It)
Просмотров 256Год назад
Your cell phone can help you do it all these days - connect with friends instantly, order food, learn a new skill, watch my videos, etc. - but it can also exacerbate your social anxiety. Many are not conscious about the potential negative side effects of cell phone usage, but I’m here to give you three things to look out for if you suffer from anxiety. Phone use becomes a problem once you start...
It's OK To Say "No" To Therapy | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Просмотров 156Год назад
If you’ve watched my prior videos, you know how hard I vouch for self-improvement and personal growth - especially when dealing with social anxiety. This video will not be that. No, it will actually be the opposite. Today, I’m professing the benefits of getting rest and relaxation. It’s no secret, the past two and a half years have been HEAVY for most of all. If you’re tired - I sure am - take ...
Introvert's Guide To Making Friends (5 Tips For Success)
Просмотров 2082 года назад
Recent research confirms loneliness has never been higher in Western society. In other words, people at-large - whether they identify as introverts or extroverts - are struggling to make deep-meaning connections despite having endless digital tools for communication at their fingertips. It goes without saying that building close relationships with others is critical to living a more fulfilling ...
What YOU Can Learn From Kendall Jenner About Confidence
Просмотров 2802 года назад
Kendall Jenner oozes confidence - but not in the way you’re probably thinking of. What makes Kendall uber confident isn’t that she can light up a room or walk a fashion runway. No, it’s because she has an AWARENESS of her emotions, even the uncomfortable ones. Believe it or not, celebrities like Kendall can also suffer from social anxiety, as she’s admitted to on her Instagram. But it’s the WAY...
Beat Social Anxiety BEFORE It Beats You
Просмотров 2512 года назад
Timing is just as important to improving your social anxiety as any other tip. Why? Because changes to your behavior rarely happen in the “heat of the moment” of a social situation that’s creating anxiety for you, whether that’s a date or work meeting. You must adopt a proactive mindset to improve your struggles with anxiety. That means preparing for a social situation AHEAD of time and asking ...
Social Anxiety: A Personal Story with Sadie Hall
Просмотров 3442 года назад
Today's video is extra special because I'm sharing an interview I did this week with Sadie Hall. She's the founder of Your Social Anxiety Bestie, a website and membership support community for folks who are working to improve their social anxiety. In the interview, Sadie shares details about her personal journey with social anxiety, the highs and lows. Overall this interview provides helpful in...
Here's Why You Shouldn't Ignore Social Anxiety | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Просмотров 2622 года назад
In this video, I’ll tell you how social anxiety affects “The Three Ps” of your life and what you can do about it. More than anything, I want you to feel motivated to improve your social anxiety so you can have the confidence and freedom that you crave. This video is a great first step. I'm considering starting an online community to help you improve your social anxiety with clarity and lots of ...
Men and Social Anxiety: 5 Things To Know | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Просмотров 8232 года назад
Men and Social Anxiety: 5 Things To Know | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Why Social Anxiety Gets Worse Before it Gets Better | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Просмотров 6162 года назад
Why Social Anxiety Gets Worse Before it Gets Better | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Social Anxiety and Moving Past Fear of Judgement in 3 Steps | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Просмотров 8232 года назад
Social Anxiety and Moving Past Fear of Judgement in 3 Steps | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Social Anxiety: How to Find the BEST Therapist | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Просмотров 1312 года назад
Social Anxiety: How to Find the BEST Therapist | Dr. Tynessa Franks
The BEST Treatment for your Social Anxiety | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Просмотров 4772 года назад
The BEST Treatment for your Social Anxiety | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Social Anxiety vs Shyness: What's the Difference?
Просмотров 2892 года назад
Social Anxiety vs Shyness: What's the Difference?
Social Anxiety & Relationships, Part 3: Improve Your Relationship ASAP
Просмотров 4562 года назад
Social Anxiety & Relationships, Part 3: Improve Your Relationship ASAP
Social Anxiety & Relationships, Part 2: What NOT to do on a Date
Просмотров 1,2 тыс.2 года назад
Social Anxiety & Relationships, Part 2: What NOT to do on a Date
Social Anxiety & Relationships, Part 1: How to Start Dating When You’re Anxious
Просмотров 3,8 тыс.2 года назад
Social Anxiety & Relationships, Part 1: How to Start Dating When You’re Anxious
Does Your Child Have Social Anxiety? Here are 5 Signs | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Просмотров 1432 года назад
Does Your Child Have Social Anxiety? Here are 5 Signs | Dr. Tynessa Franks
The Relationship Between Suicide and Social Anxiety | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Просмотров 9162 года назад
The Relationship Between Suicide and Social Anxiety | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Bullying & Social Anxiety | How To Help Your Child Cope || Dr. Tynessa Franks
Просмотров 932 года назад
Bullying & Social Anxiety | How To Help Your Child Cope || Dr. Tynessa Franks
Social Anxiety Help | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Просмотров 3242 года назад
Social Anxiety Help | Dr. Tynessa Franks
These Two-Words Can Help With Your Social Anxiety | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Просмотров 1572 года назад
These Two-Words Can Help With Your Social Anxiety | Dr. Tynessa Franks
The Relationship Between Trauma and Social Anxiety | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Просмотров 8192 года назад
The Relationship Between Trauma and Social Anxiety | Dr. Tynessa Franks
How to be More Assertive When You Have Social Anxiety | Dr. Tynessa Franks
Просмотров 3452 года назад
How to be More Assertive When You Have Social Anxiety | Dr. Tynessa Franks
You're not going to mention that less than 10% of autistic people who tried CBT didn't find it helpful?
How do you not have a million subscribers?? this is some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten, and I’ve been looking for resources on this topic for a while. I’m glad you took the action to upload youtube videos, it is so appreciated❤
4:18 that's right. It's more than what the eyes see.
this is such a lifesaver omg 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I am recently diagnosed with both Social Anxiety and Depression. Question...If both of these two are present. What should be treated first?
I would suggest depression because I can't imagine effectively tackling Social Anxiety while depressed. But that's me.
The biggest issue might not even going on a date. What about the rest of your life. People without anxiety like to do things, going out together. If you can't do this, it will feel like living on a rope 😂 (Been there, done that. Never ever going to happen again)
This video do not help with anxiety with interviews. She's taking having social anxiety is the same thing having interviews anxiety everybody doesn't have social anxiety some do but everybody don't period if you want to talk about social anxiety pick another page don't put interview up there
I have test anxiety wish results over into the interview. I don't have anxiety when it comes to social and I don't like confidence my confidence is through the roof
If you don't look like someone i would walk up to in public. Then i won't watch your video.
Then don't lmao
Social anxiety? Try selective mutism, and combine that with body dysmorphic disorder, after being bullied every day of your life for your appearance... Dating is impossible.
Anyone can reply to me.
I get ready for job interview but my anxiety is so bad I dont even go outside of my home. This situation is killing me . I am jobless for last 7 years just because of this anxiety. Yesterday I was about to go for interview with my friend but at last switched off my phone and didnt go. Plz anyone knows any solution to this. Jobless means no money . I am from mumbai.
Hypoglycemic Association of Australia. Google it and read every article possible. Anxiety including social anxiety is curable with a hypoglycemic diet and a course in psychotherapy.
i’m so nervous i have my first interview tomorrow 😨
Those Who ID as LGBT Ought to Be Given A Trip To the Middle East.
I have essential tremor, which when I am home and perfectly calm is well managed. But, anything that triggers adrenaline causes me to shake so bad from head to toe I look like I am convulsing(excitement, anger, anxiety etc...). So because of this, I avoid everything. I am at my wits end. I don't know how I can continue on like this.
I feel you Man!
7:00 Not surprising. SA is much more crippling for men than for women. I've fought SA along with autism all my life. Psychotherapy of course got me nowhere. It continues to be a struggle despite my being well into middle age
I've never gotten anywhere with therapy. Waste of time and $
Knowing that, because of my autism (I won't call it a disorder) I will never be accepted for my true self, I long since decided to limit my buy-in to a broken, dystopian hellscape. I can function at a high level in my career and a few social interactions. Indeed social anxiety developed as a result and plays into my disengagement. My successes, limited as they are, are a function of my ability to mask my autism and come across as at least somewhat neurotypical. Which brings me to my questions: Is it really a sign of health to be well-adjusted to such a sick place? Why does the mental health industry consider my approach "maladaptive"?
I've never related so much to a comment. I think we see people a lot more for who they really are, and see the world in it's truth. I get called depressed, but is it really depression, or am I just not in denial about the world and how horrible it really is? People just wanna live in denial and point fingers at people who challenge their mindset.
This was eye-opening. I went to a rehab facility for a few days because I wanted to stop drinking but felt like I didn’t fully relate to everyone else’s reasons for drinking. My plan was to focus on AA and the 12 step but now I think my focus needs to be on getting help for my social anxiety first because that’s the main reason why I drank. Thank you so much for this video ❤
I'm so glad to hear this feedback. I truly hope that gaining this insight and being able to adjust your focus will be very helpful for you. Wishing you all the best.
I just realised something. I am currently very anxious about a job interview tomorrow and I am currently half-way through this video. Thank you for the tips and making this video! But i realised as someone with social anxiety I am trying to do all these things and it feels like no one is trying to accomodate for my social anxiety. This may sound silly or self-centred. But i feel like I am trying to put all these things in my head and change how i think and what i do but I have this illness that I did not choose. I wish the hiring process involved ways to make people with social anxiety feel like they don't have to spontaneously change and the company would do something extra to get to know us beyond the anxiety. Idk. Yes I know I need to do something to get better but i think once i get a job or start something new with time i get more comfortable and can perform well. It's like if I turned up with a cough or i had sinus problems i wouldn't feel such a need to hide my illness. And perhaps social anxiety gets in the way more than a cough but i am still alive still functioning enough! Yes i can be awkward and avoid things that would be good (and sometimes even necessary) to do but people who dont have SA can be lazy or do things half-heartedly anyway!
So how did it go? I just had one today with a recruiter and ugh!👎🏾 Performance wise. 😂
I totally get what you're saying. The fact that the hiring process often depends on how you're perceived in just one interaction can be tough. The interviewer doesn't *really* get to know you beyond the understandable anxiety of a job interview setting. I wish I had an easier recommendation beyond encouraging you to continue the journey of improving social anxiety. I do know that some job seekers have had success with trying to network more on platforms such as Linkedin and using contacts/connections to build relationships with recruiters and interviewers outside of the actual interview setting so the interview itself doesn't feel quite as anxiety provoking. Not an easy task at all, but perhaps worth some thought.
Excellent
Thank you!
I want a part time job badly but am bad at counting money sadly.. I’m lively and happy fun person but my anxiety makes me scared
Dr. Franks, thank you for your insights! Much appreciated! (New sub.)
You are so welcome - I appreciate your feedback so much.
Being a woman, how do i ask out a guy? I have this traditional idea that he should ask me out. The only thing i do is slide into his dms. The conversation goes on and even if he doesn't ask, does that mean he is not interested? I am from India. We were not allowed to date during school. During college i didn't try. And now i am sitting here thinking i should start somewhere. But where
Maybe subtly do things when hanging out. Tell him he has beautiful eyes, or touch his hand when talking and laughing. He might be just as nervous as you are. If he is certain that you are interested, and the feeling is mutual, there will be much less pressure for him to ask you out.
IM GOING TO PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL THIS YEAR ON SEPTEMBER AND PILLS CROSSED MY MIND I NEEDDDDD THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSASSSSSSSSSSSSß
Best of luck to you in school😁
Ah, I'm wishing you all the best for the next school year. I would definitely recommend setting up an evaluation with your PCP or a psychiatrist if at all possible so you can talk in detail about your experience and hopefully come up with a solution that works well.
This is so helpful thank you
So glad it was helpful. I appreciate your feedback.
this describes me to a T. I hate the advice during the interview to just practice deep breathing and prepare well because it won't matter how much I prepare, I'll be sweating, stomach upset and I can't remember my name or my life it's so frustrating because I have so much to give!!
Yes, I understand what you're saying. Sometimes the unsatisfying but real truth is that practicing how to sit with those uncomfortable physical sensations (and reminding yourself that they are indeed uncomfortable but not actually dangerous) is the key. Not trying to push them away but "riding the wave" so to speak. The sensations are like a false alarm signaling danger when there is no actual threat.
What’s better for SA, mirtazapine or sertraline?
Ahh, this is difficult for me to say. It would really require an eval with your medical doctor so you can discuss your history, situation, physical health, etc.
@@DrTynessaFranks Mirtazapine helps me with my panic attacks, but I tried sertraline twice and both times I couldn’t handle it so I quit it, But I read that sertraline is great for social anxiety that’s why i wanted to try it
I wonder what the Dr thinks about Ketamine.
My biggest fear is going over that physical barrier from 'friendship' to 'imtimate' and of being hit, because my first experience was abusive 💔 😔
I’m so sorry you went through that❤️
Ughhh, I really hate to hear that. I hope you've been able to (or will be able to) get some support so that you can heal in a positive way. Totally understandable that abuse would lead to anxiety and fear in romantic relationships.
I just have fears that my status as gay men being exposed, in case i lived in moslem country... It's just dangerous for being open here
But I've been coming out to my doctor n some of my friends... They are a bit uncomfortable at the first time, but they kinda accept it in terms of that's your choice, u have right to be gay etc.
Thank you so much for this feedback. I can definitely see how coming out in a generally unsupportive social setting would be very, very hard. I know it doesn't solve the problem, but I'm glad to hear you've found at least a few instances where you can be more open and that the response has been mostly supportive. I'm wishing you all the best as you navigate the journey.
If I could find a medication that works like a couple shots of liquor my life will be set. Im a social butterfly after 3 drinks but that’s becoming it’s own problem…. Lol
Haha I was the same. It led me down a bad path though, don’t let it take over and try get to the root instead of drinking to feel good
Recovered alcoholic here. My alcoholism came from self medicating in social situations. Best of luck to you
Thanks y’all
thank you for this video c: also, you have safe vibe, it calmed me down a little and the way you explained everything is very helpful!
This is such great feedback - I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. Thank you.
lyricA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My thing with social anxiety is not so much thinking that the person will reject but feeling so nervous and uncomfortable that I shake and can’t even drink or grab a fork , I start panicking thinking that people will notice I start ssweating and I feel like escaping. I don’t know how to stop the shaking thing in my hands it’s embarrassing and not only happens on romantic situations
I'm so happy I came across you channel, I've tried going into your website to download something.. but it shows it has expired 😕
Ahh, thank you so much for watching and leaving this feedback (and for the reminder to update my links). I'm not currently providing clinical services or maintaining my website. I'm figuring out next steps and will definitely update once I have more info.
Every single point hit home! The way you phrased the different "lessons" made me aware of things I did unconsciously, or things that I wanted but couldn't put into words. This video is really helpful, thank you so much!
You are so very welcome! I deeply appreciate this feedback and love knowing the video was helpful to you.
This advice is spot on
So glad it resonated with you @flawlesssci. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Helpful video, thanks for you advices 🙏💪💪
You're very welcome. Appreciate the comment!
My problem is im a trans girl, and im scared to wear any feminine clothing, because im scared that ppl are going to make fun of me. Therefore, i rarely wear anything of that category, and resort to wearing neutral clothing. I really wish i could, but i am not allowed to do hrt and ppl know im a boy, so if i was an actual female, or even looked like a female, i would be able to do what i want and not feel scared. Im in highschool and it isn't easy. Maybe next school year in a fresh new year with new people, i can maybe fix it because the people who dont know me will expect it after like the first week or so. After that, i can continue and not be scared to express myself in any way i feel. Hopefully it gets better...
Thank you for sharing this. It sounds understandably tough - having to weigh the potential benefits and self-affirmation that could come from showing up in the world as your authentic self with the very real likelihood of backlash (or worse) if/when you make that choice. If at all possible, it may be helpful to have a therapist or mentor of sorts who can help you think through your personal situation and challenges and come up with a plan that feels like a step forward.
Dang this was a really good resource
So great to hear - thanks for the comment @chueyv9080!
Thank you so much! 🥰 I wish you all the best as well!
I got my dream job after watching this. Thank you :-)
Ooooh, that's soo great to hear! Congratulations to you. I love that you took the time to share this so others will be encouraged.
What was your dream job?
@@epistarter1136 working as a UX/Service Designer for one of the government bodies that I live under 🙂 Do you have a dream job? Are you interviewing right now?
I landed in therapy thinking I was born wired for severe social anxiety.
I just cried throughout the video bc this is what made me anxious my whole life and this video kinda set me free
This comment really warms my heart, @sonjazweng3798. I've been on an extended break from the channel and to know that this video is reaching people and helping them feel seen (and perhaps encouraged) means so much. Thank you for watching and leaving your comment. Sending you lots and lots of good wishes.
Hello there! To the one reading this, a blessed day. I just want to share the good news of salvation. Even if You feel that You are alone and no one cares for you, Someone cares and loves You unconditionally. His name is the LORD GOD who created you and me-who knows everything about us, every pain, every failure, every struggle and every hurt in us. He is there and He wants to be a Father to you. However, the reality is that GOD is perfect and He is holy but we are sinners for we sinned against Him and against others. As GOD is a God of justice, He is against sin and so we cannot save ourselves by our own power because of our fallen nature. Nevertheless, as GOD loves us so much and desires to reconcile us to Himself, He descended from Heaven and took the form of man. He is the Lord JESUS who lived His life without sin because He himself is GOD. Him being the perfect sacrificial lamb, He was crucified to take on the punishment that was meant for us sinners. He died for You and me. But death cannot hold the Lord JESUS because He doesn't deserve death for He did not sin and so now reigns in heaven. By accepting the Lord JESUS as your personal Lord and Savior, you receive His sacrifice and so your sins will be forgiven by the LORD. The Lord JESUS loves you and if You come to Him regardless of Your past, He can renew you. He is able to wash our sins clean by His precious blood. You can come to Him. For GOD so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord JESUS and believe in your heart that GOD has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9 May you have a blessed day ahead of you. I love you, my friends. 💕
Hello there! To the one reading this, a blessed day. I just want to share the good news of salvation. Even if You feel that You are alone and no one cares for you, Someone cares and loves You unconditionally. His name is the LORD GOD who created you and me-who knows everything about us, every pain, every failure, every struggle and every hurt in us. He is there and He wants to be a Father to you. However, the reality is that GOD is perfect and He is holy but we are sinners for we sinned against Him and against others. As GOD is a God of justice, He is against sin and so we cannot save ourselves by our own power because of our fallen nature. Nevertheless, as GOD loves us so much and desires to reconcile us to Himself, He descended from Heaven and took the form of man. He is the Lord JESUS who lived His life without sin because He himself is GOD. Him being the perfect sacrificial lamb, He was crucified to take on the punishment that was meant for us sinners. He died for You and me. But death cannot hold the Lord JESUS because He doesn't deserve death for He did not sin and so now reigns in heaven. By accepting the Lord JESUS as your personal Lord and Savior, you receive His sacrifice and so your sins will be forgiven by the LORD. The Lord JESUS loves you and if You come to Him regardless of Your past, He can renew you. He is able to wash our sins clean by His precious blood. You can come to Him. For GOD so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord JESUS and believe in your heart that GOD has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9 May you have a blessed day ahead of you. I love you, my friends. 💕
First of all, I'm so glad that I bumped into this video as it's a lifesaver. After having a lot of issues at work especially when it came to introducing myself and daily standup meetings. I was having fight or flight reactions and after analysing this behaviour I realised as an LGBTQ+ member and someone bullied at school, I was having anticipatory aceptance anxiety and dealing with perfectionism. As I couldn't endure the symptoms, after having one session with a psychotherapist, he suggested I might have social anxiety and then thinking about it and relating it to my childhood bullies, concealing my sexual identity, constant fear and control in my life as a result brought up the anxiety. Recently I was realising the root cause is most likely because of my sexuality and the issues revolving orund it and this video was like a double confirmation! I'm recently reading the book "How to be yourself" from Ellen Hendrikson and working on it. But I know I need to make peace with my sexual identity and free myself from never ending control. I hope I can fidn the courage one day to revel this to my conservative parents which can create a lot of drama in their life and social circle. Wish evberyone luck with their journey!
This is such good insight @abie3723, and I know there are many others who can relate to what you've shared. The combination of being bullied and feeling forced to conceal sexual identify can be an incredibly difficult combination. I'm so glad you found the video helpful and that you're reading "How to be yourself" - that's a great read for social anxiety. Wishing you all the best on your journey to being your full, true self with your family and others (when you feel ready).
I'm 35 and I've barely dated and I'm absolutely terrible at it but people kind of expect me to know what I'm doing by now. It's really difficult and I have no idea how to dress or act or what people are expecting of me, especially regarding physically intimacy. Also a lot of people tell me that I'm too quiet or seem nervous on the dates. I'm also really bad at standing up for myself and setting boundaries. And I am too shy to dress nice, so I wear baggy pants and sweaters, and sneakers. I'm terrified to wear heels
Thank you for sharing your experience @lalasparkles. I'm sure lots of people can relate to this - dating with anxiety is HARD. I would definitely recommend taking baby steps. It's hard to make changes in all of the areas you mentioned overnight. And, if at all possible (and if you're open to it), working with a therapist might help a lot. The therapist could work with you on identifying the thought patterns that might be getting in the way, talking through some behavioral goals you could set, and even doing some role plays to help you get practice with behaviors such as boundary setting and engaging in conversations on dates.
Terrific advice!