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Number 39: Utopia

You know given how controversial the last one was I like that we got just 3 easy slam dunks between yapping.

i mean to be fair george w bush also sold his watches, but it was for only 100 dollars and after he wasn't running anymore.

the second story is literally a sketch from the Tim Robinson Netflix comedy show I Think You Should Leave

To add on to the last story; one hundred percent the manager knows they weren't actually "harassing the servers". This is an excuse to get rid of the group, and the poster completely failed to understand that part. (Also, how reddit is it to go "Uhm Actually we did not harass, I remember clearly we only ever spoke to our friends with this specific demand, so there, according to the literal words I win Ha Ha"?)

Fellas, if your girl breaks up with you because you're susceptible to magic, then she never wanted you, she wanted Horus the Black Flame Dragon Lv6

To be fair, saying it feels bad to go out and vote when one of the options is a literal dementia ridden ego maniac wannabe authoritarian is actually like, extraordinarily dumb. It’s like having the option between a 2012 Honda civic and a unicycle with a warped wheel that has a bomb attached to it that has a 5% chance of exploding when you ride it as your first vehicle and being upset it isn’t a Porsche 911.

i love how the second story is just an I Think You Should Leave skit

Do americans understand how horrific these buffet stories sound to normies?

I can only imagine that immediately after this recording Peeps went out and ate an entire Olive Garden

The boss in story 1 was Elon Musk.

Hey guys, my boss had one of these unlimited pasta for life passes because he invested in the company back when they were getting off the ground

I love jow you spent maybe 20 minutes talking about the reddit posts and the other 40 talking about the mayor of new york and unlimited food but no food

Maybe I'm a sour person, but even if I rsd the best of buds with my team, mandatory team building "fun" is honestly the worst, either it's done in work hours messing up my deadlines or it's outside of usual work hours to which my response is you don't pay me for these

55:00 when I was 20 I worked at a TexMex place and we had a Taco Tuesday and despite being the frycook I was obligated to help with tacos because truckers would order 25 for 1.50 per. They had to take me off the Tuesday shift because I would use my free $10 employee meal to order 6 or 7 chicken tacos on my 10 minute break

Rock mommy? When did we start talking about Geonator Transverser :D

I really hope you go "We've been yapping too long we have to get on topic and keep this to one hour only" is because you've only scheduled an hour for it and not because you STILL for some reason think that your entire audience doesn't just want to listen to you yap about nothing for as long as possible

i sympathize with Danny’s Olive Garden job trauma so hard. i still see the breadsticks in my dreams…..

1. Correct 2. Correct 3. Correct Bottle Night mentioned: 7 episodes (two on patreon) KILLS: 7 (two on Patreon - Kill Button merch when?) see ya next time :)

Can y'all put chapters in your episodes? I'm trying to binge your content while prepping for an exam and it's annoying guessing when y'all stop talking about Current Events from June (when catching up) or a summary of this week's episode of Twitter Freaks. This would be much appreciated

33:15 That's what I call Megalith Phul

i'm bored of reddit can you just turn the first fifteen minutes into the entire podcast

Rock money is garnet from Steven Universe

tbh I think the second story's girlfriend got the 'ick' from seeing someone enjoy the magic, like maybe she just thinks magic is for kids or something.

Escape rooms with the Diddly Diddler is more like it 💀🧂

Second

Let’s gooooo

Cancun or Trump Watch? damn that's a tough choice...

You guys are so insanely stupid about the second one. So what’s your solution for him? That they shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place? Yeah, that makes him the asshole apparently. Or should they get divorced and hand over custody to the crazy mom almost guaranteed? Unless you guys think “we disagree on schooling” is going to hold up in court enough to give custody to the man when the woman almost always wins custody. Stupid.

please sell the kill button

Solution to number one, don't be an idiot who does drugs.

please oh please oh please sell me the kill button

I really don't get all the comments that say that they called the second guy in the wrong. Like, they directly state "He's an asshole but he's in the right".

I feel like some of the comments about the 2nd story are a super uncharitable interpretation of their take. They say they agree with him, and that they understand why he did what he did and may have done the same thing, but doing the right thing and being an asshole are not mutually exclusive. You can do the right thing, and still be an asshole!

Can’t believe Joseph actually convinced everyone to be “technically correct” on the 2nd one. This is peak reddit.

So the second one is really whack, cause i kinda agree with both sides. But. Divorce isnt always the answer when things arent working. Usually, communication (and i mean multiple hour long comvos a day) connecting will fix things. And the mom is clearly spemding time with people who aren't helping her. It sounds to me the guy knows how to raise kids, but not how to care and help his wife. Hes just letting her do whatever without keeping up. And she, unable to get feedback from him, has gone with her core ideals into a bad environment. His methods were absolutely wrong here. Its more of the same in regards to accidental neglect. Now what do i disagree with here? The unschooling. Thats just not parenting. Kids are like adults with 0 Exp, and its the parent's job to give them as much exp as possible. And if they cant, they rely on friends who can. And it sounds like neither has those, neither time nor friends. So as much as i hate it, public school is the best choice. Essentail oils too, but if shes not down the anti-vax hole shes probably usibg them right. Overall, TALK TO EACH OTHER. WORK TOGETHER. Working parallel is a recipe for more fights.

Clearly the true right answer on the homeschool story is that they each take a twin, she can homeschool one and the other can go to public school, and when they're in their 20s the parents will know who was right

Sell the kill button merch Surely the kill button I receive will work

Big fan of how everyone in the comments is CORRECTLY dunking on you guys for the dogshit take in the second scenario also love how you guys have made fun of redditors in the past immediately reaching for the "divorce button" yet here you are doing the same thing in the second one (and also massively overusing the kill button)

Lol nice callback from Joe saying "how many 17 year olds do this" when talking about acting like a child

Public school teacher here. You guys are really frustratingly wrong on the 2nd one. I work with kids who have had interruptions in formal education, and it is SO bad for them. They aren't just a little behind, they lack the criticalthinking, analytical, and social skills to engage with peers or enjoy age appropriate activities. They lack the stamina to make it through a lesson or worksheet without a TikTok break. Missing the window to develop literacy is disastrous The husband did not have time to ponder a divorce. The kids needed to be in school NOW, and if they're 6 that means they've probably missed PK and kindergarten. He can think about divorcing his wife later, but thata a decision that also takes time and ALSO AFFECTS THE KIDS, so he was objectively correct in making the schooling decision how and when he did. The kids cannot afford to miss another year of education while hubby and wife discuss divorce or deal-breakers, holy shit. I see the harm these "crunchy" lifestyles inflict on kids every day when I go to work. Please stop lending them credence.

Surprised no one brought up how the argument you guys used against the Dad applies exactly the same way to the Mom (but worse). You argued the Dad is an asshole because he disregarded the Mom's "plan" but that's also exactly what the Mom has been doing for what sounds like at least a year. The Mom is shutting down any conversation about it, basically just hoping the Dad gives up and let's her ruin the kids. The Dad was out of options, he could either do it behind her back or let her do whatever she wants; you wave you right to call someone an asshole for not communicating when you actively avoid communicating with them. NTA, divorce immediately.

On the subject of the homeschooling situation, what about his rights as a father? Like, we're so focused on if he betrayed her trust and her rights as a mother by going against her wishes. Why do his wishes not matter? Like oh, we disagree, so we're gonna compromise and do exactly what she wants to do?

... x. Therefore capital punishment should be federally illegal. QED

Guys have you ever watched the rate with which kids are assigned to fathers compared to mothers in a divorce? Like it's not an option to get a divorce first and then somehow get your kids into public school. Even if theoretically it's the least assholey thing to do, I'd never risk my kids not getting decent education just to be nice to my soon to be ex wife. Also maybe I'm weird but I think homeschooling should just be the last option someone seeks. Unless the kid has severe physical or mental disabilities, or they're severly traumatized I just wouldn't trust any parent (who isn't a very capable teacher already) to educate their kids, ofc public school has a boatload of problems but it's probably the best option for most kids. Also can you please stop glossing over/ignoring whenever a post says "I tried talking to them about it" and then you say "well you could have tried to communicate better, asshole". Seriously like it's not the fault of someone if the other party refuses to communicate properly and just shuts off any opportunity for compromise/understanding. And even if there were some things that a poster could have communicated better, is it always feasible to do so? Would you be able to say that you would be that perfect and spotless? Like a father that is feeling stressed that he'll miss out on the window to get his kids into school, while also juggling a spouse that is lost in a fantasy and is refusing to listen, is it THAT BAD how he acted?

People in relationships can like their partner and want to spend time with them without wanting it to be ALL the time, and can want them to not be there for certain things that would be less enjoyable with them around. They should just be honest about these things rather than lying and insulting their partner.

Crash the market, leave no survivors.

2nd case Peeps What Peeps said: ""The thing is I do not want to be clouded by the fact that a I agree with him" "...Does me agreeing with him cloud my judgement as if he handled this properly" What Peeps ment in his wife guy heart: "The thing is I do not want to be clouded by the fact that a MAN slighted a WOMAN""...Does me agreeing with him cloud my judgement because HE slighted HIS WIFE "

No, it was called Elder Dragon Highlander.

The third story doesn't make me think if the guy doesn't like his girl. Instead, makes me think of how much do they like her. Is it entirely? Or just enough? There's a gap between "I love her, unconditionally" and "I love her, because of".