Got to disagree on the homeschooling issue. The fact that he got the kids in school is really important here. Bringing up the divorce thing before doing so runs a very real risk that either the wife will receive the custody of the children or somehow be able to force the home unschooling. Anything that gets them kids in schools is worth it.
Yeah my though exactly. School registration is a time constraint task, he probably wouldn’t be able to register the kids later on the year. Divorce, although might improve the situation it would produce a huge legal fight and most times court side with the mom. I don’t think divorce would solve the issue for the kids.
I don't know how Joseph continues to talk Danny and Peeps out of their correct initial takes into Joseph's wrong take. Dad was completely correct in doing what he did, he clearly cares about the kids enough to try to get them a decent education he's not just gonna be like "k bye" and leave? The mum is an idiot and her friends are in a cult. Moreso, the thing about the wife is like the lads all agree theyre on like divergent paths and theyre different people but in the literal beginning of the scenario when essential oils are mentioned they all just go "ehh whatever" and the dad probably thought the same in that it was harmless but now he knows its starting to go too far and this is where he needs to put his foot down?
Joseph has this hatred of redditors and portrays them with this "hindsight is 20:20" view that their problem solving is flawed. He points out like "erm actually if you did this it would have never happened" and it wins the other two over. He tried to work with her on this and she betrayed his trust and good faith repeatedly, I'm sorry but sometimes not going out of your way to consider feelings or some sorta perfect balance is what you have to do especially since he needs to prioritize this over the state of his relationship. It's not pretty but sometimes you have to do the not pretty thing, it's the "you should lie to your stinky gf and never tell her she stinks to protect her feelings" argument all over again but this time he convinced them.
I have to push back on the second post calling him an asshole for sneaking them into public school. It's not a simple process to enroll your kids into public school and if he had told her there's a possibility she could've interfered in the process. But even more importantly, I think he was right to go behind her back because there was very clearly a small time window for him to do this, and you CANNOT miss those first few months. Divorce is something you can do in your own time, the school year is not gonna wait for the divorce proceeding to finish so that his kids don't fall behind. He said he waited until the end of summer before he gave up on his wife, that means he probably would've had like 3 weeks to enroll the kids and that is a fucking TIGHT schedule. I think he was right to do everything he could to make sure his kids don't miss one of their first major milestones in their life and prioritizing the divorce second
you guys are so dumb on the second one. He doesnt have the luxury of time to go through a divorce potentially losing custody if the judge agrees with the wifes stance and lets be honest thats not hard to believe it could happen. these kids need to be put into school in like a month a fucking divorce could take a year to do. also this isnt a thing he did with malice this is protecting his children
It really feels as though you guys are dramatically undervaluing the importance of an education in the second one. He gave his wife time to develop a homeschooling schedule because he trusted her and she did not make one. Given that, getting divorced before forcing the issue would come at a cost of his childs education, so he is def nta
it doesn't feel like they undervalue education because clearly they admit that the guy was correct. I do think however, they underestimate how serious a divorce is. Legal battles can take years to resolve and if the wife is a crazy tik tok mom she'll probably make the divorce really difficult and he'd have to force the schooling issue anyways, but now with a bunch of legal red tape.
They weren't undervaluing education at all. They're pointing out that there's another issue here. These two people don't have compatible views on parenting. They DO need reexamine thing and probably come to the conclusion that if you need to make massive choices like this behind your partner back then maybe it's time to examine if that person should be your partner. Yeah and divorce will negatively effect the kids but so will having two parents that can't agree on how to raise them.
They are not tho? All three agree that the husband was correct in putting the kids in public school, the real issue is having to do it behind your wife's back because they cannot agree in the way they want to educate their kids
@MrGshinobi yes, but the children are in a very critical developmental stage. He gave his wife a chance to prove she was ready to homeschool over the summer - that was a mistake clearly. But it was essential for these children to get into school ASAP. Arguing with your wife and getting a divorce could take years and leave the kids irreparably stunted.
@@Nozo1234 No one is arguing here that the husband shouldn't have gotten the kids into public school over homeschooling them, he did the right thing, but at the same time he should also consider if he wants to stay in a marriage where he'll have to make IMPORTANT choices regarding their life and their children behind his wife's back because they can't come to an agreement on things
Where was the Joseph that loves writing imaginary checks to people on the homeschool situation. She is crazy! We can do a little creative reading on this one.
I'm going to echo the sentiments of a lot of comments here and say that I think you all are coming at the second issue from kind of a wrong angle. The guy clearly did have faith in his wife and did trust her, and she did not make good on that. Was it kind of a dick move to go behind her back? Yes, but he had also attempted time and again to establish his perspective and beliefs, and his wife refused to listen to him-you all read aloud the part where he says she would shut him down every time he broached the subject. Clearly, the issue here is that SHE is not listening to HIM in spite of his protests, so he did the thing he was fully intending to do, and then she's trying to act like he betrayed her in spite of how he had never committed to her plan. And saying "oh, just get a divorce" is super easy advice to give from the outside, but it really is hardly ever that simple, ESPECIALLY when children are involved. If the mother is awarded custody or educational decision-making rights, or even if those rights are ordered to be something both parties must consent to and abide by, it can cause very protracted issues that make THIS SPECIFIC SCENARIO even worse for everyone involved. And one thing Danny touched on but you all didn't really go into was: what other option does he have? If she will not listen to his perspective, and he has already attempted to reach a compromise with her that she did not make good on, what option does he have left? Just cave and not enroll the kids in school? All that being said, do I believe those two should remain together? No, I don't think that this is a healthy situation at all. But saying he should have asked to split with her BEFORE looking after the best interests of their children, and not doing so makes him an asshole? I have to very strongly disagree with that.
Also, speaking from the perspective of someone who literally works in public school enrollment: you absolutely do not need to plot and scheme in order to enroll a kid in public school. It is such an easy and streamlined process nowadays so long as you have all of the necessary documentation, lol. Depending on the state he's in and when he did it, it probably took him a weekend or two.
Where they got the 2nd one wrong isn't that the husband betrayed her trust, it's that she betrayed his. She SAID she'd have a plan She didn't He didn't have the divorce conversation BECAUSE he trusted her, so when it became clear that she didn't, he needed to rush the public school thing
For the second one, I think there's still hope that he can deprogram his wife from the cult. But until then, he can't capitulate to things that would harm his kids.
EXACTLY. I think going straight to divorce is a weird thing for them to think of here. The children have to be put first, and that's what he does in the situation. Why didn't he ask for a divorce? Maybe because he still loves this person? He married her for a reason, and she has changed, like he said in the post. He wants to deradicalize her (even if he doesn't say directly in the post), but that cannot come before putting their children in school. She isn't even so far gone that she has done something drastic within the first week. She has just complained about it and is lying to herself that they don't like it. If she was too far gone where divorce was the only option, she would've needed to have done something more than just complain.
Really glad the comments are near unanimous in how wrong you guys were on the second one. Insane to have the belief that the guy who gave his wife a chance for 3 consecutive months should've just tried to communicate a little harder and/or filed for divorce and win legal custody of the children within the 2-3 weeks he had to get them enrolled after she failed to prove she could handle homeschooling Edit: Kill button gag gets less funny every consecutive week it's used, especially when the bar for it gets lower each time
1. Correct 2. Incorrect 3. Correct Bottle Night mentioned: 7 episodes (two on patreon) KILLS: 6 (one on Patreon - Kill Button merch!! I've been saying this and the comments agree! WE AGREE!!!!!) see ya next time :)
They try so hard to be cool and take an anti redditor stance on things that they just have to disagree with the poster even though there are plenty of social situations where being sneaky is unfortunately the best way to do things
Regarding the second one this is unfortunately the scenario where having no parental experience affects their decision making. The guy is NTA. When it comes to the wellbeing of your children, you should be able to make executive decisions if the other partner is being negligent or careless. In this case, the children were showing signs of falling behind and the wife was clearly not prepared to take on the task of being a teacher, so the best decision for the children was to put them in school. It is not an AH move to take action against your partner when they are doing harm to your children.
As someone who's graduating in a teaching degree I feel like I should say something, keep in mind I have experience working as a teacher, school has a lot of problems, but outside of very extreme cases school is the best option, MBT hit the nail in the head, in school is where you learn to live in society, not saying schools don't need to improve, there's a lot of teaching theory that needs to be applied to update schools, especially in the USA, you people have a really bad case of denying modern theories because they don't agree with your ideology, but they are the best available option, as for the relationship I really don't care, is really sad to see kids having to deal with shit parents ( I don't really think the father is probably not really cool since he married this crazy person)
2nd story you guy made a bad call. He made the right choice in every facet of the situation. Divorce isn't some easy streamlined process and the chances of custody going in the Dad's favor arent 100%. With the short time window he had to enroll his kids into school, i dont blame him for doing it behind his wife's back, especially when you consider how stubborn she was. He is not an asshole because sometimes to do the right thing you need to make sacrifices and hard choices. Those kids needed proper education and as a father he cannot let her neglect them as muvh as she did. Additonally, he did give her time to come up with a plan and she didnt do shit with it, so when we talk about trust she failed his trust long before he failed hers.
I think with the second one, that divorce is not as easy of a solution as it’s being portrayed especially in the timeframe given. Specifically because that brings the issue of custody up, and he WILL have to fight through the courts to make sure that she isn’t keeping the kids from being schooled the whole way through and until either they graduate or she snaps out of it. I agree that the scheming isn’t good and it’s probably a sign that the relationship is effectively over, but I don’t really think that there was a right decision that was going to be objectively better.
Yeah, having listened to most of the episodes now, if I have one criticism of the podcast as a whole it's that all 3 of them treat "divorce, therapy, and communication" as these catch-all solutions for everything without really giving any mind to how expensive, messy, and difficult all 3 of those things can be (sans communication being expensive before anyone tries to erm akshually me). "Get out!" and "just talk to your partner!" are easy to say in a podcast, but if real life were that simple I don't think these posts would be as abundant or popular. I get most solutions do, in fact, come down to a mix of the 3, and you can only go so deep in the weeds with limited time and information, but I do wish they'd try to have more grace for people who didn't initially go down those routes.
I do find it funny that yugioh player are like, "this extremely expensive broken card needs to be banned immediately" when the card gets banned are just thankful to never deal with that card again. Magic the gathering players see the card game as an investment, so any ban is seen as detrimental because now they are losing money. These people are playing a card game, it shouldn't be an investment
Public school teacher here. You guys are really frustratingly wrong on the 2nd one. I work with kids who have had interruptions in formal education, and it is SO bad for them. They aren't just a little behind, they lack the criticalthinking, analytical, and social skills to engage with peers or enjoy age appropriate activities. They lack the stamina to make it through a lesson or worksheet without a TikTok break. Missing the window to develop literacy is disastrous The husband did not have time to ponder a divorce. The kids needed to be in school NOW, and if they're 6 that means they've probably missed PK and kindergarten. He can think about divorcing his wife later, but thata a decision that also takes time and ALSO AFFECTS THE KIDS, so he was objectively correct in making the schooling decision how and when he did. The kids cannot afford to miss another year of education while hubby and wife discuss divorce or deal-breakers, holy shit. I see the harm these "crunchy" lifestyles inflict on kids every day when I go to work. Please stop lending them credence.
Sorry boys, but that school take was an L. Bringing up divorce could make it worse for the kids since if the wife wins custody, she'll definitely unschool them. The wife seemed unwilling to waver from her position and to me it does feel like sneaking them into school is the only correct choice to avoid the chance of their kids being homeschooled.
@@MrGshinobiThey never said anything about not getting a divorce. Just that it wasn't the route to go at that time. It would take too much time that the poster didn't have at that moment.
@@MrGshinobi It's better then that mom getting full custody and fucking up their chance at an actual future. As a man getting a divorce has a pretty decent chance of meaning you are no longer considered a full parent. A shitty marriage VS no longer being able to protect your kids from your partner is a pretty common reason to stay in a shitty marriage.
Considering the second poster gave the wife almost the whole summer to come up with something and she only decided to go further down the pipeline, I'm inclined to stay on his side. Obviously divorce also needs to happen unless deradicalization happens, but I don't really blame the guy for doing this in a panic after nothing has improved over a few months.
I'm like, not saying it shouldn't have been banned, but when I spent $600cad on 4 Mox Opals to play Modern Scales then under a year later Horizons releases with Urza and gets Opal banned only to hear people say that the current banning is "the single greatest affront to the portfolios of magic players" I lose most of my sympathy. Your deck is still playable, they didn't invalidate the other 97 cards in your deck, and it didn't also mean that your Ravagers, Ballistas, Walkers and Inkmoths had to be resold or find new (worse) homes. This isn't me complaining about the broken card I used being banned (though Horizions definitely had other issues), just that the people saying this is an unprecedented loss of value must not have actually been playing the game very long.
As for the actual stories, if you really need to make it work with someone who's going down this conspiracy rabbit hole you need to give them _zero_ legs to stand on. You need to function 100% above board and not give them something they can cling to when opposing you. Even though it's way easier than dealing with her, the guy in the 2nd story gave her the out to every single argument they have from here on out which is "I can't trust you to work with me", which despite every other disprovable thing she'll say will always be enough to leave her unconvinced. It sucks, but after giving her the time to try her way he needed to let that give him the push to let her try his way for a while and be able to point to how much fun the kids are having, how much they're learning basic things like math/literacy, and hopefully make friends whose parents you can point to in them being normal, trustable people. If she's unwilling to self-reflect and come to new conclusions then all you can do is agree or break up, but if you make doing things the 'normal' way inviting and positive she'll hopefully realize that she's being kind of a jerk fighting it.
For the third one, I think my parents fucked up my idea of a relationship from the get. They love each other and have had an extremely long and healthy relationship, but they also do really enjoy spending time alone doing their own thing. They'll go to a concert together one weekend, then the next weekend my dad will go visit his siblings a few hours away while my mom enjoys a few days of quiet gardening, then the next one she'll go on a sightseeing tour with a friend in the States while my dad gets to order a pizza and watch some loud action flick. He's still the asshole because he didn't even give her the chance to decline, but the (correct) expectation that she wouldn't enjoy being there so she shouldn't go IMO doesn't mean he secretly hates her guts and she needs to go to councelling over it.
I don’t think I’ve ever disagreed more with an opinion on the show than the second story. The time frame for getting them into school after he realized she didn’t have a plan and the start of school is not long enough to get a divorce AND get custody of the kids to put them into school while likely dealing with a protracted legal battle against her (since she seems like someone who’d do that). There was no way I can believe he’s the asshole when I consider that. He should definitely get a divorce though
Clearly the true right answer on the homeschool story is that they each take a twin, she can homeschool one and the other can go to public school, and when they're in their 20s the parents will know who was right
Yeah, I gotta join the comments for the second one. The father didn't have any other option, and divorce always makes things more complicated for the kids, who are priority number 1. He did the best thing he could have done in the moment. Sure, sneaking behind your partner's back sucks, but in situations like these when the partner is actively harming the children by not giving them a proper learning and socialization environment by going down the unschooling rabbit hole, being deceptive and signing them up for that proper environment behind your partner's back is the proper solution.
On the subject of the homeschooling situation, what about his rights as a father? Like, we're so focused on if he betrayed her trust and her rights as a mother by going against her wishes. Why do his wishes not matter? Like oh, we disagree, so we're gonna compromise and do exactly what she wants to do?
People in relationships can like their partner and want to spend time with them without wanting it to be ALL the time, and can want them to not be there for certain things that would be less enjoyable with them around. They should just be honest about these things rather than lying and insulting their partner.
Yeah and that makes the crying players look even worse, they play their for-fun format casually and then get upset when a group of random commander players with made up authority make a banlist that they can straight up ignore if they're just aiming to play commander casually with friends like most mtg players do. But muh my ""investment"""!! Cards should remain expensive and overpowered forever right?
The third story doesn't make me think if the guy doesn't like his girl. Instead, makes me think of how much do they like her. Is it entirely? Or just enough? There's a gap between "I love her, unconditionally" and "I love her, because of".
2nd case Peeps What Peeps said: ""The thing is I do not want to be clouded by the fact that a I agree with him" "...Does me agreeing with him cloud my judgement as if he handled this properly" What Peeps ment in his wife guy heart: "The thing is I do not want to be clouded by the fact that a MAN slighted a WOMAN""...Does me agreeing with him cloud my judgement because HE slighted HIS WIFE "
I really don't get all the comments that say that they called the second guy in the wrong. Like, they directly state "He's an asshole but he's in the right".
"Yugioh has somehow avoided this." What? Have you forgotten about the Gage bullshit from a bit back where he went on about how lower-rarity reprints lower the value of his cards and how Yugioh should have a 'get out what you put in' system for monetary investment?
PLEASE let me buy a Kill Button, I would legitimately pay like 40 dollars for a stupid button with a high quality soundbyte of you three saying "KILL!", I'm begging
Guys have you ever watched the rate with which kids are assigned to fathers compared to mothers in a divorce? Like it's not an option to get a divorce first and then somehow get your kids into public school. Even if theoretically it's the least assholey thing to do, I'd never risk my kids not getting decent education just to be nice to my soon to be ex wife. Also maybe I'm weird but I think homeschooling should just be the last option someone seeks. Unless the kid has severe physical or mental disabilities, or they're severly traumatized I just wouldn't trust any parent (who isn't a very capable teacher already) to educate their kids, ofc public school has a boatload of problems but it's probably the best option for most kids. Also can you please stop glossing over/ignoring whenever a post says "I tried talking to them about it" and then you say "well you could have tried to communicate better, asshole". Seriously like it's not the fault of someone if the other party refuses to communicate properly and just shuts off any opportunity for compromise/understanding. And even if there were some things that a poster could have communicated better, is it always feasible to do so? Would you be able to say that you would be that perfect and spotless? Like a father that is feeling stressed that he'll miss out on the window to get his kids into school, while also juggling a spouse that is lost in a fantasy and is refusing to listen, is it THAT BAD how he acted?
@@trippersigs2248 1. The core issue is that they feel that their hobby should have a return on investment that isnt just having fun. 2. DarkemperorJ has a video where he goes over old Pojo posts of Tewart and the head of the judge program saying it's a licensing issue with Shueisha. Lots of speculating can be had but it's easy to assume there's a clause in the license for no cash prizing
@@trippersigs2248 1. It's the same core issue of people wanting an ROI on their hobbies 2. There's a video by DarkemperorJ that goes over what might be a licensing issue with Shueisha, and in turn, Takahashi over cash prizing
@@trippersigs2248 1. It's the same core issue of wanting your hobby to have an ROI 2. There's old Pojo posts of Kevin Tewart and the head of the Judge Program back when UDE ran the game talking about how it's a licensing issue with Shueisha that there's no cash prizing for tournaments
To play devils advocate for a second in regards to the idea that cards should be treated as a toy and not an investment, itd be a lot easier to do so if they werent so expensive. Overall i agree with the guys on every point and what not, just saying its easier for me to treat my pokemon decks like shit and not care when they cost me 60$ max than my 600$ modern deck because, well, the modern deck cost 10 times more. My only point is if the companies making these games made these cards more accessible from the start (and they did mention that), people arent gonna be as mad when the money the spent is nullified.
Big fan of how everyone in the comments is CORRECTLY dunking on you guys for the dogshit take in the second scenario also love how you guys have made fun of redditors in the past immediately reaching for the "divorce button" yet here you are doing the same thing in the second one (and also massively overusing the kill button)
Triple Ls from three dudes without kids who, not once, ever consider the feelings of the children on a potential divorce. Which is weird because the early part was about how they all played children's card games.
Hey divorce obviously sucks for all parties involved, but that does not mean you shouldn't have one, especially if your partner is actively setting up your children for failure.
So the second one is really whack, cause i kinda agree with both sides. But. Divorce isnt always the answer when things arent working. Usually, communication (and i mean multiple hour long comvos a day) connecting will fix things. And the mom is clearly spemding time with people who aren't helping her. It sounds to me the guy knows how to raise kids, but not how to care and help his wife. Hes just letting her do whatever without keeping up. And she, unable to get feedback from him, has gone with her core ideals into a bad environment. His methods were absolutely wrong here. Its more of the same in regards to accidental neglect. Now what do i disagree with here? The unschooling. Thats just not parenting. Kids are like adults with 0 Exp, and its the parent's job to give them as much exp as possible. And if they cant, they rely on friends who can. And it sounds like neither has those, neither time nor friends. So as much as i hate it, public school is the best choice. Essentail oils too, but if shes not down the anti-vax hole shes probably usibg them right. Overall, TALK TO EACH OTHER. WORK TOGETHER. Working parallel is a recipe for more fights.
Also, 3rd guy is the ass. A relationship is about give and take. And sometimes, that's just giving the option even if you know the answer. A. Cause it's nuce to know they're thought of. B. MAYBE THEY DID WANT TO GO. To try and branch out. C. Describing it as babysitting is absolutely talking down to someone. Just cause it's a joke doesn't make it OK.
Gonna set aside the second story to talk about the Magic thing. Commander isn't an officially supported format in that it doesn't have tournament play. None of your cards needs to actually be real cards. A Mana Crypt you paid $100 for works the same as a Mana Crypt you drew on some paper as long as everyone at your table say it's cool. No one made them buy the cards.
Banlist commentary: As a self-proclaimed casual format, the average commander player did not need these bans. Casuals should be more than capable of simply asking their friends nicely to not play mana crypts against their low power goats meme list, and competitive commander players liked playing singleton legacy and have lost part of that to help casuals who don't maintain a regular group believe the wider commander space is being policed for them. I hate playing against mana crypt, but it's just as simple as leaving after that game. Magic cards as investments are dumb and those bans are dumb.
it's crazy how like this show has been running for most of a year and it seems like everyone in the comments doesnt understand the nuanced differences between "being the asshole" and "doing the right thing" putting the kids in public school is absolutely the right thing to do, (which the 'cels acknowledge) but that's not the question and the question was "is going behind the wife's back an assholey thing to do (to your wife (who you ostensibly want to foster a long term loving partnership and family with))" to which the answer is yes because like they said if this is so much of a dealbreaker that you're willing to completely undermine her like that, you need to start having really serious conversations where divorce is not out of the question yes OP is the asshole even if he did the right thing people with wackadoo beliefs are still human beings
it's like everyone skipped the entire discussion to exactly the 30 seconds where they voted 3-0 and then also skipped the part where they were like "i dont even blame him"
I can kinda see where the frustration lies with people since it does feel like they are kicking a dude while he's down. The right choice in this scenario was to be an asshole. School enrollment is time sensitive, and there was no way his compromise of giving her a chance to demonstrate that she can be a good teacher over the summer while also making sure the kids get some kind of actual education. He trusted her to show that she could provide that, she didn't and there wasn't time to have a legal battle that may take a year if it gets messy. Remember, the kids are already developmentally behind. Sometimes communication won't solve a problem, as he had shown with the subject of public school getting shot down repeatedly. And without perfect future sight, there was no way for him to draw that line in the sand before the summer started without already distrusting her. His actions were assholey, but they were exactly what was needed to get the kids into school which was objectively the right choice. I.E.- Three dudes without kids and with perfect hindsight says the only person who was compromising should of stopped doing the thing they recommend in every other post.
The problem, ultimately i feel, lies in the way to break the stalemate and determine who is the asshole. First, you need to choose either: the man who betrayed her wife or the wife who refuses to listen and failed to deliver on, what i assume, performance (what indicators of performance? don't know). For many the decision lies "in doing the right thing" which is completely valid. For others, and the councel, I understood is that there were other ways of reaching a solution together but instead went nuclear because, again, the stalemate of the wife who refuses to listen. For me the distinction lies here, public school is tried and tested, and it works (for the most part). If you are proposing an alternative style, as the wife is, it is her job to make the husband feel untroubled about his kids' education. If you are unable to do so, then you rethink your position instead of being stubborn. That makes her the bigger asshole here.
@@passtheyaoithere are times you can be right and also the asshole, but when the situation is you did the only thing that gets your kids into school for the year, you cannot be the asshole for doing it. If you define doing something absolutely necessary in the only possible way as being the asshole because it was mean to the person who created the problem, then you've created a meaningless category.
1. Poster IS the asshole, you are crazy if you think you need to fly out your friend all expenses paid just to help your chances to talk to a random DJ in a bar, you are 29 you can just...talk to people normally? holy crap what an insane way of thinking, poster needs a hard reality check. 2. Going behind your partner's back makes you an asshole even if the husband is right, the wife is insane for what she aims to do to the kids and i don't blame the husband for what he did, but i do think the way he went about solving the issue with the kids paints a bad picture for this marriage, now in the future whenever there's a big disagreement in place there's already a precedent for the husband going behind the wife's back and ignoring what she wants, which just tells me that this marriage sucks and they either solve their issues or need to get divorced. 3. Poster IS the asshole, refering to bringing your gf to a social event as "babysitting her" makes you an asshole, it's so mean and uncalled for. 3 assholes in the same week wow
Gotta have to disagree with number 2. Husband had no other option, and the guys are completely wrong about how easy divorce is. Divorce is always messy, 100% of the time. The husband was completely justified and not the asshole for doing what he did.
It's incredible how so many commenters completely disregard the point of the second one. You think that being correct/incorrect enough is a means to make the ends justify any means, disregarding the context that got them there because of their personal bias. Sure, it feels like a trolley problem where each outcome is bad in it's own way, but you had to take steps before that point to avoid the choice of whether or not to pull the lever and neither parent took steps towards such a thing.
He gave her time to come up with a plan and tried to confront her when she didn't but she shut him down. Outside of taking away her phone, stopping her from seeing her "friends" and deprogramming the bullshit they pushed on her there was no way to prevent this from his end. Also between "my kids will have a future" and "my wife upset she can't fuck up our kids future" isn't much of a trolley problem. This is "lying to nazis is still evil" levels of deontological brainrot
Why is everyone disagreeing about the second pose conclusion was yeah this sucks i agree with everyrhing that happened but he was an asshole for not being confrontational and going behind his wifes back
@Aimlesswaves. you can agree with someone and they can be doing something wrong is the op correct for putting the kids In school regardless of what happens yes he is correct he's also kind of an asshole for going behind his wife's back and doing it with out consent their not just his kids they are hers to she still has a right to parent even if it's an incorrect way again I agree with the guy he did the RIGHT thing putting the kids in school but he did take away her choice in parenting and did it behind her back witch is why he's an asshole
Because THE most important thing was to get the kids in school, and that literally does override whether any "scheming" was involved in making it happen.
Got to disagree on the homeschooling issue. The fact that he got the kids in school is really important here. Bringing up the divorce thing before doing so runs a very real risk that either the wife will receive the custody of the children or somehow be able to force the home unschooling. Anything that gets them kids in schools is worth it.
Yeah my though exactly. School registration is a time constraint task, he probably wouldn’t be able to register the kids later on the year. Divorce, although might improve the situation it would produce a huge legal fight and most times court side with the mom. I don’t think divorce would solve the issue for the kids.
I don't know how Joseph continues to talk Danny and Peeps out of their correct initial takes into Joseph's wrong take. Dad was completely correct in doing what he did, he clearly cares about the kids enough to try to get them a decent education he's not just gonna be like "k bye" and leave?
The mum is an idiot and her friends are in a cult.
Moreso, the thing about the wife is like the lads all agree theyre on like divergent paths and theyre different people but in the literal beginning of the scenario when essential oils are mentioned they all just go "ehh whatever" and the dad probably thought the same in that it was harmless but now he knows its starting to go too far and this is where he needs to put his foot down?
I think he did the wrong thing by giving her too much benefit of the doubt, but the right thing by putting his foot down when it matters most
Joseph has this hatred of redditors and portrays them with this "hindsight is 20:20" view that their problem solving is flawed. He points out like "erm actually if you did this it would have never happened" and it wins the other two over. He tried to work with her on this and she betrayed his trust and good faith repeatedly, I'm sorry but sometimes not going out of your way to consider feelings or some sorta perfect balance is what you have to do especially since he needs to prioritize this over the state of his relationship.
It's not pretty but sometimes you have to do the not pretty thing, it's the "you should lie to your stinky gf and never tell her she stinks to protect her feelings" argument all over again but this time he convinced them.
@@BruceWayne-zg2xythe charisma from being a theater kid and his experience in debate team did him well
I have to push back on the second post calling him an asshole for sneaking them into public school. It's not a simple process to enroll your kids into public school and if he had told her there's a possibility she could've interfered in the process. But even more importantly, I think he was right to go behind her back because there was very clearly a small time window for him to do this, and you CANNOT miss those first few months. Divorce is something you can do in your own time, the school year is not gonna wait for the divorce proceeding to finish so that his kids don't fall behind.
He said he waited until the end of summer before he gave up on his wife, that means he probably would've had like 3 weeks to enroll the kids and that is a fucking TIGHT schedule. I think he was right to do everything he could to make sure his kids don't miss one of their first major milestones in their life and prioritizing the divorce second
it really shows it's three childless dudes talking
you guys are so dumb on the second one. He doesnt have the luxury of time to go through a divorce potentially losing custody if the judge agrees with the wifes stance and lets be honest thats not hard to believe it could happen. these kids need to be put into school in like a month a fucking divorce could take a year to do. also this isnt a thing he did with malice this is protecting his children
Miraculous is the only way I can describe how Joseph flipped the narrative in that second story and got Danny and Jordan to completely switch sides.
The Joseph Rothschild Reality Distortion Field needs to be studied
@@emmanueladesiyan2236 Others: have an egalitarian opinion
Joseph: Domain expansion
It really feels as though you guys are dramatically undervaluing the importance of an education in the second one. He gave his wife time to develop a homeschooling schedule because he trusted her and she did not make one. Given that, getting divorced before forcing the issue would come at a cost of his childs education, so he is def nta
it doesn't feel like they undervalue education because clearly they admit that the guy was correct. I do think however, they underestimate how serious a divorce is. Legal battles can take years to resolve and if the wife is a crazy tik tok mom she'll probably make the divorce really difficult and he'd have to force the schooling issue anyways, but now with a bunch of legal red tape.
They weren't undervaluing education at all. They're pointing out that there's another issue here. These two people don't have compatible views on parenting. They DO need reexamine thing and probably come to the conclusion that if you need to make massive choices like this behind your partner back then maybe it's time to examine if that person should be your partner. Yeah and divorce will negatively effect the kids but so will having two parents that can't agree on how to raise them.
They are not tho? All three agree that the husband was correct in putting the kids in public school, the real issue is having to do it behind your wife's back because they cannot agree in the way they want to educate their kids
@MrGshinobi yes, but the children are in a very critical developmental stage. He gave his wife a chance to prove she was ready to homeschool over the summer - that was a mistake clearly. But it was essential for these children to get into school ASAP. Arguing with your wife and getting a divorce could take years and leave the kids irreparably stunted.
@@Nozo1234 No one is arguing here that the husband shouldn't have gotten the kids into public school over homeschooling them, he did the right thing, but at the same time he should also consider if he wants to stay in a marriage where he'll have to make IMPORTANT choices regarding their life and their children behind his wife's back because they can't come to an agreement on things
Where was the Joseph that loves writing imaginary checks to people on the homeschool situation. She is crazy! We can do a little creative reading on this one.
I already knew not to respect your parenting and education opinions, but holy shit lmao
To be fair, none of them are parents so its best to take some of the those takes with a grain of salt lol
I'm going to echo the sentiments of a lot of comments here and say that I think you all are coming at the second issue from kind of a wrong angle. The guy clearly did have faith in his wife and did trust her, and she did not make good on that. Was it kind of a dick move to go behind her back? Yes, but he had also attempted time and again to establish his perspective and beliefs, and his wife refused to listen to him-you all read aloud the part where he says she would shut him down every time he broached the subject. Clearly, the issue here is that SHE is not listening to HIM in spite of his protests, so he did the thing he was fully intending to do, and then she's trying to act like he betrayed her in spite of how he had never committed to her plan. And saying "oh, just get a divorce" is super easy advice to give from the outside, but it really is hardly ever that simple, ESPECIALLY when children are involved. If the mother is awarded custody or educational decision-making rights, or even if those rights are ordered to be something both parties must consent to and abide by, it can cause very protracted issues that make THIS SPECIFIC SCENARIO even worse for everyone involved.
And one thing Danny touched on but you all didn't really go into was: what other option does he have? If she will not listen to his perspective, and he has already attempted to reach a compromise with her that she did not make good on, what option does he have left? Just cave and not enroll the kids in school?
All that being said, do I believe those two should remain together? No, I don't think that this is a healthy situation at all. But saying he should have asked to split with her BEFORE looking after the best interests of their children, and not doing so makes him an asshole? I have to very strongly disagree with that.
Also, speaking from the perspective of someone who literally works in public school enrollment: you absolutely do not need to plot and scheme in order to enroll a kid in public school. It is such an easy and streamlined process nowadays so long as you have all of the necessary documentation, lol. Depending on the state he's in and when he did it, it probably took him a weekend or two.
Where they got the 2nd one wrong isn't that the husband betrayed her trust, it's that she betrayed his. She SAID she'd have a plan
She didn't
He didn't have the divorce conversation BECAUSE he trusted her, so when it became clear that she didn't, he needed to rush the public school thing
For the second one, I think there's still hope that he can deprogram his wife from the cult. But until then, he can't capitulate to things that would harm his kids.
EXACTLY.
I think going straight to divorce is a weird thing for them to think of here. The children have to be put first, and that's what he does in the situation. Why didn't he ask for a divorce? Maybe because he still loves this person? He married her for a reason, and she has changed, like he said in the post. He wants to deradicalize her (even if he doesn't say directly in the post), but that cannot come before putting their children in school.
She isn't even so far gone that she has done something drastic within the first week. She has just complained about it and is lying to herself that they don't like it. If she was too far gone where divorce was the only option, she would've needed to have done something more than just complain.
Really glad the comments are near unanimous in how wrong you guys were on the second one. Insane to have the belief that the guy who gave his wife a chance for 3 consecutive months should've just tried to communicate a little harder and/or filed for divorce and win legal custody of the children within the 2-3 weeks he had to get them enrolled after she failed to prove she could handle homeschooling
Edit: Kill button gag gets less funny every consecutive week it's used, especially when the bar for it gets lower each time
gag?
Hey now, agree with the first half - you're correct - but don't come for the kill button! We love the kill button!
1. Correct
2. Incorrect
3. Correct
Bottle Night mentioned: 7 episodes (two on patreon)
KILLS: 6 (one on Patreon - Kill Button merch!! I've been saying this and the comments agree! WE AGREE!!!!!)
see ya next time :)
Is this the first incorrect?
@@flyingchicken973 no! :)
To add to the unanimous dissent: I think the line "no matter how you right you may be you still schemed" is such a dogshit way of going about it.
They try so hard to be cool and take an anti redditor stance on things that they just have to disagree with the poster even though there are plenty of social situations where being sneaky is unfortunately the best way to do things
Regarding the second one this is unfortunately the scenario where having no parental experience affects their decision making. The guy is NTA. When it comes to the wellbeing of your children, you should be able to make executive decisions if the other partner is being negligent or careless. In this case, the children were showing signs of falling behind and the wife was clearly not prepared to take on the task of being a teacher, so the best decision for the children was to put them in school.
It is not an AH move to take action against your partner when they are doing harm to your children.
As someone who's graduating in a teaching degree I feel like I should say something, keep in mind I have experience working as a teacher, school has a lot of problems, but outside of very extreme cases school is the best option, MBT hit the nail in the head, in school is where you learn to live in society, not saying schools don't need to improve, there's a lot of teaching theory that needs to be applied to update schools, especially in the USA, you people have a really bad case of denying modern theories because they don't agree with your ideology, but they are the best available option, as for the relationship I really don't care, is really sad to see kids having to deal with shit parents ( I don't really think the father is probably not really cool since he married this crazy person)
2nd story you guy made a bad call. He made the right choice in every facet of the situation. Divorce isn't some easy streamlined process and the chances of custody going in the Dad's favor arent 100%. With the short time window he had to enroll his kids into school, i dont blame him for doing it behind his wife's back, especially when you consider how stubborn she was. He is not an asshole because sometimes to do the right thing you need to make sacrifices and hard choices. Those kids needed proper education and as a father he cannot let her neglect them as muvh as she did. Additonally, he did give her time to come up with a plan and she didnt do shit with it, so when we talk about trust she failed his trust long before he failed hers.
I think with the second one, that divorce is not as easy of a solution as it’s being portrayed especially in the timeframe given. Specifically because that brings the issue of custody up, and he WILL have to fight through the courts to make sure that she isn’t keeping the kids from being schooled the whole way through and until either they graduate or she snaps out of it. I agree that the scheming isn’t good and it’s probably a sign that the relationship is effectively over, but I don’t really think that there was a right decision that was going to be objectively better.
Yeah, having listened to most of the episodes now, if I have one criticism of the podcast as a whole it's that all 3 of them treat "divorce, therapy, and communication" as these catch-all solutions for everything without really giving any mind to how expensive, messy, and difficult all 3 of those things can be (sans communication being expensive before anyone tries to erm akshually me). "Get out!" and "just talk to your partner!" are easy to say in a podcast, but if real life were that simple I don't think these posts would be as abundant or popular. I get most solutions do, in fact, come down to a mix of the 3, and you can only go so deep in the weeds with limited time and information, but I do wish they'd try to have more grace for people who didn't initially go down those routes.
@@drewcummings2453completely agree. Ironically enough, it's a pretty reddit attitude to have lol.
Magic players continue to be the biggest crybabies in the history of card game players
I do find it funny that yugioh player are like, "this extremely expensive broken card needs to be banned immediately" when the card gets banned are just thankful to never deal with that card again. Magic the gathering players see the card game as an investment, so any ban is seen as detrimental because now they are losing money. These people are playing a card game, it shouldn't be an investment
Public school teacher here. You guys are really frustratingly wrong on the 2nd one. I work with kids who have had interruptions in formal education, and it is SO bad for them. They aren't just a little behind, they lack the criticalthinking, analytical, and social skills to engage with peers or enjoy age appropriate activities. They lack the stamina to make it through a lesson or worksheet without a TikTok break. Missing the window to develop literacy is disastrous
The husband did not have time to ponder a divorce. The kids needed to be in school NOW, and if they're 6 that means they've probably missed PK and kindergarten.
He can think about divorcing his wife later, but thata a decision that also takes time and ALSO AFFECTS THE KIDS, so he was objectively correct in making the schooling decision how and when he did. The kids cannot afford to miss another year of education while hubby and wife discuss divorce or deal-breakers, holy shit.
I see the harm these "crunchy" lifestyles inflict on kids every day when I go to work. Please stop lending them credence.
Sorry boys, but that school take was an L. Bringing up divorce could make it worse for the kids since if the wife wins custody, she'll definitely unschool them. The wife seemed unwilling to waver from her position and to me it does feel like sneaking them into school is the only correct choice to avoid the chance of their kids being homeschooled.
So they don't divorce and now the kids have parents who can't stop fighting because they can't get along and trust each other, is that better then?
@@MrGshinobiThey never said anything about not getting a divorce. Just that it wasn't the route to go at that time. It would take too much time that the poster didn't have at that moment.
@@MrGshinobi It's better then that mom getting full custody and fucking up their chance at an actual future.
As a man getting a divorce has a pretty decent chance of meaning you are no longer considered a full parent.
A shitty marriage VS no longer being able to protect your kids from your partner is a pretty common reason to stay in a shitty marriage.
can't imagine my wife getting into unschooling and then to not consider divorce right away
Considering the second poster gave the wife almost the whole summer to come up with something and she only decided to go further down the pipeline, I'm inclined to stay on his side.
Obviously divorce also needs to happen unless deradicalization happens, but I don't really blame the guy for doing this in a panic after nothing has improved over a few months.
I'm like, not saying it shouldn't have been banned, but when I spent $600cad on 4 Mox Opals to play Modern Scales then under a year later Horizons releases with Urza and gets Opal banned only to hear people say that the current banning is "the single greatest affront to the portfolios of magic players" I lose most of my sympathy. Your deck is still playable, they didn't invalidate the other 97 cards in your deck, and it didn't also mean that your Ravagers, Ballistas, Walkers and Inkmoths had to be resold or find new (worse) homes. This isn't me complaining about the broken card I used being banned (though Horizions definitely had other issues), just that the people saying this is an unprecedented loss of value must not have actually been playing the game very long.
Also ban Sol Ring
As for the actual stories, if you really need to make it work with someone who's going down this conspiracy rabbit hole you need to give them _zero_ legs to stand on. You need to function 100% above board and not give them something they can cling to when opposing you. Even though it's way easier than dealing with her, the guy in the 2nd story gave her the out to every single argument they have from here on out which is "I can't trust you to work with me", which despite every other disprovable thing she'll say will always be enough to leave her unconvinced. It sucks, but after giving her the time to try her way he needed to let that give him the push to let her try his way for a while and be able to point to how much fun the kids are having, how much they're learning basic things like math/literacy, and hopefully make friends whose parents you can point to in them being normal, trustable people.
If she's unwilling to self-reflect and come to new conclusions then all you can do is agree or break up, but if you make doing things the 'normal' way inviting and positive she'll hopefully realize that she's being kind of a jerk fighting it.
For the third one, I think my parents fucked up my idea of a relationship from the get. They love each other and have had an extremely long and healthy relationship, but they also do really enjoy spending time alone doing their own thing. They'll go to a concert together one weekend, then the next weekend my dad will go visit his siblings a few hours away while my mom enjoys a few days of quiet gardening, then the next one she'll go on a sightseeing tour with a friend in the States while my dad gets to order a pizza and watch some loud action flick.
He's still the asshole because he didn't even give her the chance to decline, but the (correct) expectation that she wouldn't enjoy being there so she shouldn't go IMO doesn't mean he secretly hates her guts and she needs to go to councelling over it.
@@TheDocperian "ban sol ring" BASED BASED BASED BASED BAS
@@TheDocperian They are not gonna make every precon unplayable. Sol ring is functionally unbanable at this point
I don’t think I’ve ever disagreed more with an opinion on the show than the second story. The time frame for getting them into school after he realized she didn’t have a plan and the start of school is not long enough to get a divorce AND get custody of the kids to put them into school while likely dealing with a protracted legal battle against her (since she seems like someone who’d do that). There was no way I can believe he’s the asshole when I consider that. He should definitely get a divorce though
No "alright lets go at the beginning" my life is ruined
Clearly the true right answer on the homeschool story is that they each take a twin, she can homeschool one and the other can go to public school, and when they're in their 20s the parents will know who was right
Can’t believe Joseph actually convinced everyone to be “technically correct” on the 2nd one. This is peak reddit.
Yeah, I gotta join the comments for the second one. The father didn't have any other option, and divorce always makes things more complicated for the kids, who are priority number 1. He did the best thing he could have done in the moment. Sure, sneaking behind your partner's back sucks, but in situations like these when the partner is actively harming the children by not giving them a proper learning and socialization environment by going down the unschooling rabbit hole, being deceptive and signing them up for that proper environment behind your partner's back is the proper solution.
Im very nervous to find out what reschooling is going to be about
On the subject of the homeschooling situation, what about his rights as a father? Like, we're so focused on if he betrayed her trust and her rights as a mother by going against her wishes. Why do his wishes not matter? Like oh, we disagree, so we're gonna compromise and do exactly what she wants to do?
People in relationships can like their partner and want to spend time with them without wanting it to be ALL the time, and can want them to not be there for certain things that would be less enjoyable with them around.
They should just be honest about these things rather than lying and insulting their partner.
"Yeah, do not have sex with musicians."
hey wtf rude
But are they wrong tho
@@MrGshinobi ...yeah!
PLEASE sell the kill button, make it like a staples Easy button but the recorded voice is all of you saying "kill"
the banlist isn't from magic but the people who manage commander
Yeah and that makes the crying players look even worse, they play their for-fun format casually and then get upset when a group of random commander players with made up authority make a banlist that they can straight up ignore if they're just aiming to play commander casually with friends like most mtg players do.
But muh my ""investment"""!! Cards should remain expensive and overpowered forever right?
The third story doesn't make me think if the guy doesn't like his girl. Instead, makes me think of how much do they like her. Is it entirely? Or just enough? There's a gap between "I love her, unconditionally" and "I love her, because of".
2nd case Peeps
What Peeps said:
""The thing is I do not want to be clouded by the fact that a I agree with him" "...Does me agreeing with him cloud my judgement as if he handled this properly"
What Peeps ment in his wife guy heart:
"The thing is I do not want to be clouded by the fact that a MAN slighted a WOMAN""...Does me agreeing with him cloud my judgement because HE slighted HIS WIFE "
I really don't get all the comments that say that they called the second guy in the wrong. Like, they directly state "He's an asshole but he's in the right".
Just translating Commander into yugioh terms, it is a 100 cards deck master highlander format.
That sounds miserable I'm ngl
"Yugioh has somehow avoided this." What? Have you forgotten about the Gage bullshit from a bit back where he went on about how lower-rarity reprints lower the value of his cards and how Yugioh should have a 'get out what you put in' system for monetary investment?
PLEASE let me buy a Kill Button, I would legitimately pay like 40 dollars for a stupid button with a high quality soundbyte of you three saying "KILL!", I'm begging
Ffs guys I need yous to be more wrong.
I've nothing to write indignant 20 paragraph comments about with this one.
Don't worry, once you get to the second story and they go on and on about how wrong they are you'll have something to write
52:25 what's wrong with being a fire emblem fan
Guys have you ever watched the rate with which kids are assigned to fathers compared to mothers in a divorce? Like it's not an option to get a divorce first and then somehow get your kids into public school.
Even if theoretically it's the least assholey thing to do, I'd never risk my kids not getting decent education just to be nice to my soon to be ex wife.
Also maybe I'm weird but I think homeschooling should just be the last option someone seeks. Unless the kid has severe physical or mental disabilities, or they're severly traumatized I just wouldn't trust any parent (who isn't a very capable teacher already) to educate their kids, ofc public school has a boatload of problems but it's probably the best option for most kids.
Also can you please stop glossing over/ignoring whenever a post says "I tried talking to them about it" and then you say "well you could have tried to communicate better, asshole". Seriously like it's not the fault of someone if the other party refuses to communicate properly and just shuts off any opportunity for compromise/understanding. And even if there were some things that a poster could have communicated better, is it always feasible to do so? Would you be able to say that you would be that perfect and spotless?
Like a father that is feeling stressed that he'll miss out on the window to get his kids into school, while also juggling a spouse that is lost in a fantasy and is refusing to listen, is it THAT BAD how he acted?
Maybe Kazuki Takahashi was onto something when he wanted no cash prizing
1. Not about cash prizing at all.
2. Is there actually proof of this? People say this all time but what's the actual source?
@@trippersigs2248
1. The core issue is that they feel that their hobby should have a return on investment that isnt just having fun.
2. DarkemperorJ has a video where he goes over old Pojo posts of Tewart and the head of the judge program saying it's a licensing issue with Shueisha. Lots of speculating can be had but it's easy to assume there's a clause in the license for no cash prizing
Whenever I hear this statement I'm always torn because on the one hand, he's got a point, and on the other, people gotta eat
@@trippersigs2248
1. It's the same core issue of people wanting an ROI on their hobbies
2. There's a video by DarkemperorJ that goes over what might be a licensing issue with Shueisha, and in turn, Takahashi over cash prizing
@@trippersigs2248
1. It's the same core issue of wanting your hobby to have an ROI
2. There's old Pojo posts of Kevin Tewart and the head of the Judge Program back when UDE ran the game talking about how it's a licensing issue with Shueisha that there's no cash prizing for tournaments
Crash the market, leave no survivors.
I'll take at least three kill buttons
please oh please oh please sell me the kill button
To play devils advocate for a second in regards to the idea that cards should be treated as a toy and not an investment, itd be a lot easier to do so if they werent so expensive.
Overall i agree with the guys on every point and what not, just saying its easier for me to treat my pokemon decks like shit and not care when they cost me 60$ max than my 600$ modern deck because, well, the modern deck cost 10 times more.
My only point is if the companies making these games made these cards more accessible from the start (and they did mention that), people arent gonna be as mad when the money the spent is nullified.
...
x. Therefore capital punishment should be federally illegal.
QED
Big fan of how everyone in the comments is CORRECTLY dunking on you guys for the dogshit take in the second scenario
also love how you guys have made fun of redditors in the past immediately reaching for the "divorce button" yet here you are doing the same thing in the second one (and also massively overusing the kill button)
No subtitles. Sucks man
I would get 3
Sell the kill button merch
Surely the kill button I receive will work
Triple Ls from three dudes without kids who, not once, ever consider the feelings of the children on a potential divorce.
Which is weird because the early part was about how they all played children's card games.
Hey divorce obviously sucks for all parties involved, but that does not mean you shouldn't have one, especially if your partner is actively setting up your children for failure.
Sell me the kill button
So the second one is really whack, cause i kinda agree with both sides. But. Divorce isnt always the answer when things arent working. Usually, communication (and i mean multiple hour long comvos a day) connecting will fix things. And the mom is clearly spemding time with people who aren't helping her.
It sounds to me the guy knows how to raise kids, but not how to care and help his wife. Hes just letting her do whatever without keeping up. And she, unable to get feedback from him, has gone with her core ideals into a bad environment. His methods were absolutely wrong here. Its more of the same in regards to accidental neglect.
Now what do i disagree with here? The unschooling. Thats just not parenting. Kids are like adults with 0 Exp, and its the parent's job to give them as much exp as possible. And if they cant, they rely on friends who can. And it sounds like neither has those, neither time nor friends. So as much as i hate it, public school is the best choice. Essentail oils too, but if shes not down the anti-vax hole shes probably usibg them right.
Overall, TALK TO EACH OTHER. WORK TOGETHER. Working parallel is a recipe for more fights.
Also, 3rd guy is the ass. A relationship is about give and take. And sometimes, that's just giving the option even if you know the answer.
A. Cause it's nuce to know they're thought of.
B. MAYBE THEY DID WANT TO GO. To try and branch out.
C. Describing it as babysitting is absolutely talking down to someone. Just cause it's a joke doesn't make it OK.
I would buy a unalive button
14 minutes in and that first story is making me cringe all the way into a sphere at this point
please sell the kill button
3
2
1
…
Please sell me the kill button
Gonna set aside the second story to talk about the Magic thing. Commander isn't an officially supported format in that it doesn't have tournament play. None of your cards needs to actually be real cards. A Mana Crypt you paid $100 for works the same as a Mana Crypt you drew on some paper as long as everyone at your table say it's cool. No one made them buy the cards.
Please make the kill button OwO
Joseph go on TAFS
Ok, guys can we comment about the 3rd & 1st story and not the only the 2nd story
No, it was called Elder Dragon Highlander.
#1 - Gets the wink at the crowd feeling and mistakes it for actual connection
Banlist commentary: As a self-proclaimed casual format, the average commander player did not need these bans. Casuals should be more than capable of simply asking their friends nicely to not play mana crypts against their low power goats meme list, and competitive commander players liked playing singleton legacy and have lost part of that to help casuals who don't maintain a regular group believe the wider commander space is being policed for them. I hate playing against mana crypt, but it's just as simple as leaving after that game. Magic cards as investments are dumb and those bans are dumb.
your editor is terrible. you know this is true
it's crazy how like this show has been running for most of a year and it seems like everyone in the comments doesnt understand the nuanced differences between "being the asshole" and "doing the right thing"
putting the kids in public school is absolutely the right thing to do, (which the 'cels acknowledge)
but that's not the question
and the question was "is going behind the wife's back an assholey thing to do (to your wife (who you ostensibly want to foster a long term loving partnership and family with))" to which the answer is yes
because like they said if this is so much of a dealbreaker that you're willing to completely undermine her like that, you need to start having really serious conversations where divorce is not out of the question
yes OP is the asshole even if he did the right thing
people with wackadoo beliefs are still human beings
it's like everyone skipped the entire discussion to exactly the 30 seconds where they voted 3-0 and then also skipped the part where they were like "i dont even blame him"
I can kinda see where the frustration lies with people since it does feel like they are kicking a dude while he's down. The right choice in this scenario was to be an asshole. School enrollment is time sensitive, and there was no way his compromise of giving her a chance to demonstrate that she can be a good teacher over the summer while also making sure the kids get some kind of actual education. He trusted her to show that she could provide that, she didn't and there wasn't time to have a legal battle that may take a year if it gets messy. Remember, the kids are already developmentally behind. Sometimes communication won't solve a problem, as he had shown with the subject of public school getting shot down repeatedly. And without perfect future sight, there was no way for him to draw that line in the sand before the summer started without already distrusting her. His actions were assholey, but they were exactly what was needed to get the kids into school which was objectively the right choice.
I.E.- Three dudes without kids and with perfect hindsight says the only person who was compromising should of stopped doing the thing they recommend in every other post.
The problem, ultimately i feel, lies in the way to break the stalemate and determine who is the asshole. First, you need to choose either: the man who betrayed her wife or the wife who refuses to listen and failed to deliver on, what i assume, performance (what indicators of performance? don't know).
For many the decision lies "in doing the right thing" which is completely valid. For others, and the councel, I understood is that there were other ways of reaching a solution together but instead went nuclear because, again, the stalemate of the wife who refuses to listen.
For me the distinction lies here, public school is tried and tested, and it works (for the most part). If you are proposing an alternative style, as the wife is, it is her job to make the husband feel untroubled about his kids' education. If you are unable to do so, then you rethink your position instead of being stubborn. That makes her the bigger asshole here.
The husband wasn't the asshole though. If anyone is the asshole it's the wife.
@@passtheyaoithere are times you can be right and also the asshole, but when the situation is you did the only thing that gets your kids into school for the year, you cannot be the asshole for doing it. If you define doing something absolutely necessary in the only possible way as being the asshole because it was mean to the person who created the problem, then you've created a meaningless category.
1. Poster IS the asshole, you are crazy if you think you need to fly out your friend all expenses paid just to help your chances to talk to a random DJ in a bar, you are 29 you can just...talk to people normally? holy crap what an insane way of thinking, poster needs a hard reality check.
2. Going behind your partner's back makes you an asshole even if the husband is right, the wife is insane for what she aims to do to the kids and i don't blame the husband for what he did, but i do think the way he went about solving the issue with the kids paints a bad picture for this marriage, now in the future whenever there's a big disagreement in place there's already a precedent for the husband going behind the wife's back and ignoring what she wants, which just tells me that this marriage sucks and they either solve their issues or need to get divorced.
3. Poster IS the asshole, refering to bringing your gf to a social event as "babysitting her" makes you an asshole, it's so mean and uncalled for.
3 assholes in the same week wow
Gotta have to disagree with number 2. Husband had no other option, and the guys are completely wrong about how easy divorce is. Divorce is always messy, 100% of the time. The husband was completely justified and not the asshole for doing what he did.
It's incredible how so many commenters completely disregard the point of the second one. You think that being correct/incorrect enough is a means to make the ends justify any means, disregarding the context that got them there because of their personal bias. Sure, it feels like a trolley problem where each outcome is bad in it's own way, but you had to take steps before that point to avoid the choice of whether or not to pull the lever and neither parent took steps towards such a thing.
"He made the morally correct choice and protected his kids but have you considered lying is le bad"
He gave her time to come up with a plan and tried to confront her when she didn't but she shut him down.
Outside of taking away her phone, stopping her from seeing her "friends" and deprogramming the bullshit they pushed on her there was no way to prevent this from his end.
Also between "my kids will have a future" and "my wife upset she can't fuck up our kids future" isn't much of a trolley problem.
This is "lying to nazis is still evil" levels of deontological brainrot
Why is everyone disagreeing about the second pose conclusion was yeah this sucks i agree with everyrhing that happened but he was an asshole for not being confrontational and going behind his wifes back
Because they feel if a decision is correct/incorrect enough, it overrides anything about how they got to that point.
@Aimlesswaves. you can agree with someone and they can be doing something wrong is the op correct for putting the kids In school regardless of what happens yes he is correct he's also kind of an asshole for going behind his wife's back and doing it with out consent their not just his kids they are hers to she still has a right to parent even if it's an incorrect way again I agree with the guy he did the RIGHT thing putting the kids in school but he did take away her choice in parenting and did it behind her back witch is why he's an asshole
Because THE most important thing was to get the kids in school, and that literally does override whether any "scheming" was involved in making it happen.