My x Always Underminded me as a parent. Always, never backed me up. I always backed her up as a parent. You’re gonna always brought this up to her. She never responded.
I was struck by how every point he raises speaks to my own situation. For me it speaks to the ignorance of the officials - the decision-makers - in our courts and the hired guns blacing financial trails in private practice. Of deep concern is the unwillingness of professionals to call a spade a spade - usually for fear of being sued by 'the other side' (which also speaks to why the Children's Act, in our country virtually bans lawyers). So the child/ren is sacrificed at the altar of expediency and financial inconvenience.
I hear you brother. My ex has BPD diagnosed. Hid all this from the so called expert psychologist who assessed both my partner and myself. I only read the report from her side. She said there was nothing wrong her apart from some post natal depression. Everything else was my fault. Typical BPD action and behavior. Typical abuse and lies. My children were deeply affected as am I. Keep the faith.
thank you Dr Miller- you are right on target. my ex husband for years prior to our divorce and his affairs, was all 4 c's! he created a lot of chaos, alot of pathological enmeshment, and still continues to do so, sacrificing our children. one daughter does not speak to me from one day to the next- and we had such a good relationship before. as a result, i have had no contact with my 2 grandchildren for almost 3 years. i think she has been so manipulated she herself is developing NPD. i fear for her mental health, because she is clearly a victim and has lost all critical thinking. Her father uses her to hurt me in any way he can. (by not speaking to me, by trying to influence siblings to look at me negatively , confuse them- so sad) so this is domestic violence in addition to child abuse.
Your story sounds verbatim to my own. 😞 I wish we could fix it. I keep praying and every year it seems harder and harder to fill the gap of our broken bond.
Thank you. That was spectacular in explanation. What is a alienated parent and estranged child to do in this case. My son looks through me, gets stiff and sweaty handed when in contact with me. He doesn’t seem to remember or recognize me.
I think most of us know PA definitely exists, the problem comes when the alienated parent appears in front of a judge who does not understand it, or perhaps has not been his experience, and finds it easier to see other things. Tragic that the law can't be changed, to make 50/50 parenting the norm. And stop the heartache that goes on , on a daily basis. So much damage done to children and alienated parents. My own long suffering son being one of those who is being brought to his knees by an ex who has Bipolar disorder, and brings new meaning to control.
Very well explained. Wonderful job Dr. I have been the victim parent , however, the targeting came from my husband and his second wife. Both covert narcissists. He has been deceased for 7 years, his wife continues in the motherhood position and I am still rejected. I was very close to my children, they turned seemingly overnight. Your explanation helps me to understand how that could happen so quickly. Thank you.
Great and helpful video! But does this mean there is no hope if we get a judge that isn't familiar with parental alienation or psychological abuse? Where should I go for advice on this?
Thankyou!!!! U could not be more on the button! Where the hell is the help, expertise? Meantime my children are getting psychologically damaged!!! Us! Yes US step up NOW!
You are not alone. I broke down into tears when i saw this. The sudden realization with facts that says im not crazy. The psychological abuse from my ex has been real for years, this validates it.
It makes my cry , my ex husband is doing this to my daughter and I, and the court doesn’t recognize it. I feel like that this is tailored to my case :( when will the court recognize in California that they get it all wrong ???
California has this bad ,I been out of my sons life since two years old he has now moved on and graduated while the mom touts praise on her facebook and she only has one photo of him up clearly shows she is hiding him
@@tommypearson9260 3 yrs since the other parent kidnapped our daughters..now 17 and 13....a lifetime away from my little girls he is determined to destroy
@@kristen9827 Don’t despair. I went to that also but I am recovered. I lost my adults kids and I don’t see my grandchildren. There you go the narcissist alienador father won. I tell you I fought for years. Love yourself, care for you, be strong, never give an inch. Know that you tried your best. Know that you are special and your children will be with you. Be patient and know when to act.
My toxic narcissist Ex is actively alienating our daughter against me. The courts don’t seem to understand. I am still in shock and don’t know what to do !
Great info from this man. BTW, as a non-blood parent involved in a defacto parentage case vs the bio-mom (suffering from extreme menta health crisis and substance abuse) the alienation argument along with a host of other elements essential to win our rights to see the child again as we once had, will be strong and potent. Anytime a 'wholly compromised' mother says in court that suddenly the child in question is scared or doesn't want to see the people caring for him since infancy, while bio-mom herself has created all the chaos and fear events for everyone is someone admitting to coercion of a child. I truly do not see any problem with alienation when its proved overtly. If a judge fails to recognize it as evident and valid in a case then perhaps that judge should educate herself/himself in this aspect of toxic parenting. To those men and women suffering custody or defacto cases, I stand and support your efforts to win rights in order to save and protect the child's best interests to have a successful life. Peace and love and prayers to the judges especially who must rule on these awful matters. A'ho.
I’m a victim of parental alienation. For over 6 years now. I don’t know where to seek assistance. I need help getting my daughters back. Can anyone help me 🙏
I'm dealing with 16 years of severe alienation from 15, 17 and 18 year olds then and now in a trial 16 year's later with the now adult children who suffer severe mental and emotional abuse from parental alienation. It was a 5 day trial of horrifying effects and as a mother who loved her children requested not to have them on the stand and was ignored in Dec 2021 and they used up the time and now I'm waiting on 4 more days and the trial was put off until September 2022. This is not healthy for my adult kids or for myself. I am a loving mom stripped of my children because of their father's revenge on me. Advocate in Ontario Canada
I am searching for help for our family as I read this. We too are awaiting court in Sept. 2022. The alienating parent is my daughter's ex. He is a cop. He continues to lie in family court and he is very actively isolating my 14 year old grandson. His 3 sisters, ages 11, 7, and 5, are afraid to talk on the phone with their mother when they are at his house. You can see it on their faces. It's the cruelest thing thst I have ever experienced. My grandson and I were bonded like glue since he was a baby. Now he won't respond to my texts. I know that his phone is being monitored by his father. It is if he has been kidnapped and brainwashed. You just can't find a better mother than my daughter. It is a crime the way he is using my grandchildren to get revenge on my daughter for filing for divorce because he had a long term affair. He lives with the woman and she is his partner in parental alienation. They are trying to wipe the children's mommy off of the earth. I know they would kill her if they could get away with it. The father actually said that to one of the children. The miserable female judge in our case doesn't care about any of that. Had we known the failings of the family court system, my daughter would have stayed in the marriage to save her children from the horrid abuse that they are receiving from their own "male parent". He is NOT one that can be called a father.
I have a client that keeps claiming PAL, the case came in for substance abuse committed by my client. The child was removed. She has done all her services and therapy to get custody back, and she did and my client had a relapse. My client got clean again but the damage was done. The child keeps rejecting her. I keep trying to tell her that PAL requires that there be no abuse on the part of the parent claiming alienation. Abuse can be physical or mental ie the child catches a parent cheating on the other parent, parent doing drugs and is removed from the home by the state, etc. The alienated parent really needs to look at whether there is any reasonable basis for the child to reject them.
I SO WISH THIS WAS LAW IN THE UK!! I AM POWERLESS HERE.2 GIRLS, HAVEN'T SEEN MY ELDEST IN 3 AND HALF YEARS AND MY YOUNGEST IN A YEAR. BEEN TO COURT TWICE AND WON..NO CHANGE.
I had the privilege to speak with Dr. Miller on the phone regarding my Connecticut divorce involving my alienated children. My ex had a pathological enmeshment family dynamic with her mother. I can relate to Dr. Miller’s every word regarding P.A. . Mandates are needed for all family court positions (Judges, GAL’s, Divorce lawyers, family therapists and the family court “experts”) with regards to training and learning about patterns of an alienating parent. The bottom line is THIS IS CHILD ABUSE!
Is there a Dr. In ohio that follows this type of understanding in Parental alienization that follows in the footsteps of Dr. MILLER that I can reach out to?...
I am identifying with this information in my current situation. My dad is 92, clinically diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 1 year ago but was gradually declining for as much as 10 years prior. He has a wife 20 years younger whom he has had a relationship for 30+ years. She is a covert narcissist, and my dad is a narcissist too but oddly- he’s not as malicious as some. 1 year ago the wife was caught in process but before she took all dads money. Dad had just been diagnosed late mid stage Alzheimer’s before this occurred. It forced my brother & I to request court eval for dads disability, I applied for his guardian, brother for conservator. Wife opposed both of these in court. Judge granted 50/50 ( coguardian s) to me & wife. Brother was granted conservator. 9 months into this ruling, but also having experienced this wife for 4 years by now, and dads mind declining, Covid, perfect storm of events including over a decade of wife alienating dad from us- his grown children- he now has been ‘alienated’ by his narcissistic wife who is super angry with us for turning off the free flow money facet (financial abuse of my fathers resources for years), she also resents our involvement into their ‘privacy’ ( isolation), because she is also not meeting his care needs for food, hygiene, safety/ supervision, emotional wellbeing, and essentially is also emotionally abusing him by alienating him from us- such hateful and malicious things she tells him that are NOT TRUE, ( she uses ALL the Narc tactics and more and more frequently with escalation to physical aggression into me- because I’ve learned what to do & not to do with dealing with narcs manipulation). The point… my dad with Alzheimer’s has been groomed by her/ wife, over years as his mind declined, she tells him these things in front of us! She lies, he believes her- he’s soo dependent on her to think for him- he trusts her! It’s wrong! and now has dad believing that if we ask him to go somewhere with us she says/ he believes that We are going to drive him to a nursing home and leave him there!, Another example now is that dad and his wife have their own separate homes 30 miles apart- dads home had a water line break, they went to stay at her home- it took 3 months to fix- and now that it’s finished wife is refusing to return him to HIS home where we all know for years he’s said it, even told judge 9 months ago at his disability ruling, he wanted to live out and die there. Well now dad is saying that he does not have his own home! Because the wife is telling him lies which he believes ( he’s like a child- d/ to Alzheimer’s), and I look at our coguardian situation as if wife and I are parents, he’s the ‘child’, wife is a malicious angry Narc who does not want anyone to see her mistreatment of dad , ( & she’s freaked out b/ cause of new camera in his home, to oversee hiring caregivers needed to provide him b/ cause wife is not doing enough of what he needs) , she is refusing to return and refusing to return him to his home, has convinced him he doesn’t have one anymore, turned him against us ( she cannot control us and we are ‘up in her business’ over taking better care of dad. Currently I’ve pressed charges against her for the many deficiencies / negligence to meet dads quickly changing needs, and also charged her w/ contempt for not returning him to his home, etc as court ordered in her role with me /co guardianship. I’m an RN 40 Years esp w/ geriatric population, I’m dads legal health surrogate, 64 y/ o daughter! Parental alienation is happening among us with my dad only he has Alzheimer’s, the coguardian is a narcissist with anger and hate for dads family- we caught her just before she could be successful in financial exploitation of his life savings! These things you explain are SO ON POINT - the only difference is our ages- marriage status and the custom/ true pawn- is my dad who has Alzheimer’s and is at near end of life as compared to a literal ‘child’. The wife needs to be held in contempt of current orders and her co guardian role stripped away. If she would only ‘ be the wife’ and leave the caregiver role to be filled by others better trained & exprienced. Pray the judge will rule in out favor- less than 2 weeks til the hearing.
How do you become a specialty level professional? I was married to this for 32 years and had no clue until after the split .. kids are adults now but they turned on me.. doesn’t make sense .
I'm in this right now. Supervised visit today, my daughter attacked me, called me "idiot" then calmed. As she walked with me in a hug she announced she didn't want to live anymore. Visit supervised by New Mexico CYFD's Wyndsor Yazzie and V. Romero. Mr. Yazzie dismisses the alienation as 'cultural' and didn't intervene when daughter expressed SI. I'm very scared for my daughter's life and health. The State of New Mexico would sooner kill this child than help her despite the decade of evidence
So my chances of winning my children back, in court, is almost zero. That's what everyone's, who's going through this, tells me. When the CFI interviewed my alienated teens and my husband. She left thinking their relationship was perfect and I was the abuser and the problem. That's EXACTLY what happened. She supposedly has PA training too. I hate the family court system. BTW, I AM getting a divorce and am not at home anymore.
Our family experienced this 20 years ago with my cousins child after my cousin died. After her surviving parent , her father was declared unfit , the court only allowed " supervised visitation" by her beloved grandparents. The therapist was foolish - while the child would not talk to the, or look at them. Any rational , healthy person would know that she was scared of her dad. Why do you say it is counter intuitive? That it takes " special training" - it is common sense?
There might be a very good reason that one parent is alienated. That parent might be abusive. It seems that mothers are often the ones who think the fathers are abusive, and those fathers counter with an accusation of alienation. I've read this is the common way things happen in family courts, and about 70% of the time, the fathers are favored. I know of a specific incident where a mother's warnings about the father were ignored and the judge, in his almighty wisdom ordered the little girl to spend time alone with her father. the father murdered her. This is a recent case - the little girl's name was Ellie Obi Lorenzo. Look it up.
The one who did my daughter this way had CPS .lawyers . lDrs believing that my daughter abused her kids . and abandament .CPS gave this person all rights .and gave this person to right to say if children and mom get to visit .or talk on phone and this person never let them
Yes he is correct with saying all that and I know because I'm seeing that with my kids and I get it. Here is the thing tho, people who aren't going though it won't understand it because it all sounds crazy. Here is the #1 thing to see if a family is going through PA is find out what the status is with the kids communication with the alienated parents side of the family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc..) If no communication there then there ya have it.
There is a better way. Parental custody of children is actually a very simple matter to solve given the true desire of “What is best for the child”. We need to separate and discard marriage from family law as they no longer seem to be connected and "Marriage makes people treat each other as articles of property and no longer as free human beings. Einstein". We can develop protocols that confer (over time) equal parental rights and responsibilities,…..once parentage is proven. Children’s natural maturation process has 3 essential stages of need. A.The unconditional love of the mother from birth until about 7 years of age. The mother to have “thefinalsay” and to receive child allowance. B.The conditional love of the father, who takes his children out into the world, gives security and teaches social boundaries from 7 until about 13 years of age. The father to have “thefinalsay” and to receive child allowance. C.The friendship and respect of peers from 13 until 18 years of age. The child to have “thefinalsay”. If these 3 stages are not gone through in order, maturation is unlikely to be satisfactorily achieved and mental resilience reduced. This has now become generational. Such a regime of equal parenting rights (over time) would bind parents into a co-operative relationship, because (over time) each will hold the power of “thefinalsay” sequentially when they are best favoured to use it. Such family protocols would be the default position, (allowing love, courtesy and humour to prevail) but could in exceptional cases be varied by the court. Buckminster Fuller said:- “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete”. To alleviate suffering is worthy. To prevent it is divine, but thankless.
He has the exact questions that i was looking for because my husband has other child with another woman but that was 13 years age the issue here is that my husband is mot on the birth certificate of that child but yet the mother of the child has call my husband from day one since the baby was born but the mother of the child has toll my husband that is hes child and that he needs to be responsible for him when shes the one thats been contacti g my husband to tell him i he nows is hes child but the mother never allow him to have any relationship with the child at all but yet she contacting him he has ask the mother if he and tslk to the child or to have contact with the child now my question is when my husband takes the DNA test to see if its hes child and lets say its positive but it the mother of the child never allow my husband to be on the childs life for all this years well the courts still well give him child support even if he never had a relationship or even now the child?
patriarchy cult is way overstepping his/her bounds here, wow. As far as your husband and his child, he should do what he can to be in his child's life. A father's role in a child's development into healthy adults is way underrated and he should make every effort. There are many things that can be done on your own or through a paralegal, other than that you may wish to hire a lawyer, just vet the lawyer and ensure that they are specialized in cases of parental alienation. No one can tell you what will happen in your case. All I can do is suggest to you to support your husband being in the child's life and try not to act in an alienating way yourself if you do. The book I have been reading is Understanding Parental Alienation by Karen and Nick Woodall and is a must read for both you and your husband. It is not about fighting with and hurting the other parent, but having a positive role in a child's development and guiding them through life. Leaving them on their own just leads to major problems for them throughout their lives and it's worth it to show them the empathy, understanding and guidance they need. Paying child support, however which way it is used by the other parent, is one way to be in the child's life, whether you are able to be with them at the time or not. Keep doing the right thing for the child. This is about what is best for the child and that is how we need to behave as the parents that are supposed to be there for them.
I would like it if the 'Stockholm Syndrome' rhetoric is left out of discussions of parental alienation and just keep to the ever-growing number of facts and clinical observations that have been compiled about parental alienation exclusively. Muddying the waters by drawing parallels to a highly contested illness is unnecessary and confuses the issue especially when there is so much information about alienation that needs to be shared that will help to raise awareness.
Wow - totally disagree with you that it's 'muddying the waters'! Referencing 'Stockholm Syndrome' and 'King Solomon's Judgment' are extremely useful (and simple/non-complex) ways to help people get past the barriers of counterintuitivity that are blocking their way to understanding and/or accepting the construct of 'parental alienation'.
@@beautifuldayzee5942 Stockholm Syndrome is not part of the DSM. It should not be referenced as it is not recognized and accepted as an actual psychological disorder. Whereas attachment disorders as referred to by Dr. Craig Childress carries actual legitimacy and is the only way (via known and accepted disorders) that parental alienation should be described. Otherwise it will be continue to be dismissed and debunked.
I think he mentions the Stockholm Syndrome as something adults unfamiliar with pathogenic parenting can have a tangible example they can relate with ,a point of reference, an introduction to something that is counterintuitive to their way of thinking. Finding something, anything that can be helpful in creating some kind of familiarity will more likely lead to active engagement and discussion. People are more familiar with the term Stockholm Syndrome than the DSM. The point is to expose the level of toxic manipulation being used to alter the reality of a human being and the devastating results on everyone involved.
@@lorraines5792 Old wives tales are not going to cut it. Whatever his intentions are, they need to be grounded with legitimate and accepted criteria or we will lose credibility. That will do no one any good.
@The Patriarchy Is Beta Males Trying to be gods You sound like you have a cluster b personality disorder and are trying to gaslight, trigger and bait me. Get help. This is the second time you have posted on my comments from two different videos. There is something wrong with you. As far as your comment, you are projecting your issues onto me. Again, get some help.
Lots of blablabla but no real solution so PAY ATTENTION, I'll give you the answers: people who are being manipulated, be it child, teen (parental) or adult (affections), have a deficit of reasoning because of the lies that he/she has been told and, along with other symptoms, lack of empathy so this is exactly what is going on here. The very same people who are responsible for studying, treating and mainly, JUDGING, have been through the same process. Bear in mind that the judicial system is taking place of the ecclesiastical system of old so it is in nature, ecclesiastical. The state (society) is the main cause of this because it is composed of a bunch of people with average low IQ (caused by affection/parental alienation). To stop parental or affection alienations one has to take some actions in his personal lives and mindset: first, don't ever talk to anybody from the judicial system, it's the same case if the other spouse were to ask for divorce in his church, in which case you are going to accept their beliefs and conditions. Second, don't ever leave your home! Third, and most important, talk to your children and explain to them that it's a phase that the family is going through and it's going to pass. On the judicial system side of the case, the people involved have to understand that it's not their business to get into other people's problems (as a matter of fact it's a crime). If one of the spouses wants to leave and is not happy or whatever, then leave. These people have had the same issues in their original families and have the ability to destroy their actual family. Want to see how the system works? Check Kernberg's assumptions at 16:40 in the video ruclips.net/video/brNuwQNN3q4/видео.html and apply them to the judicial system. There you have it. Stay away from authoritative people! If you agree with this information and find it useful to help other people, PLEASE, feel free to share it.
![ARGENTINA vs. BOLIVIA [6-0] | RESUMEN | ELIMINATORIAS SUDAMERICANAS | FECHA 10](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/C3wPtKNbAOA/mqdefault.jpg)
RIP Dr. Miller! Thank you for the enormous impact you’ve made in the world of parental alienation! What a huge loss to us all.
Wow
Another loss in this world for the worst....
Thank you Dr. Miller for your work on PA. I am a rejected parent and this is devastating. This is not estrangement - it is alienation.
Also alienated parent. It is absolutely devastating. Hugs and understanding.
This video should be compulsory viewing for all family court judges.
My x Always Underminded me as a parent. Always, never backed me up. I always backed her up as a parent. You’re gonna always brought this up to her. She never responded.
I think family courts should be removed. Resolve family divorce like in Denmark. No lawyers . No courts. Us is behind in this matter.
i 100% AGREE! HAVING GREAT CONFIDENCE IN INCORRECT CONCLUSIONS IS A BIG PROBLEM.
Absolutely 💯
Definitely
An incredible video. I'm the Alienated Mother, have been for 6 years now and my goodness I wish I could show this to Solicitors and Judges!
I was struck by how every point he raises speaks to my own situation. For me it speaks to the ignorance of the officials - the decision-makers - in our courts and the hired guns blacing financial trails in private practice. Of deep concern is the unwillingness of professionals to call a spade a spade - usually for fear of being sued by 'the other side' (which also speaks to why the Children's Act, in our country virtually bans lawyers). So the child/ren is sacrificed at the altar of expediency and financial inconvenience.
I hear you brother. My ex has BPD diagnosed. Hid all this from the so called expert psychologist who assessed both my partner and myself. I only read the report from her side. She said there was nothing wrong her apart from some post natal depression. Everything else was my fault. Typical BPD action and behavior. Typical abuse and lies. My children were deeply affected as am I. Keep the faith.
This man was brilliant. Thank you, Dr Miller for your contributions to educating the world about Parental Alienation.
You are telling us exactly what we're going through.
thank you Dr Miller- you are right on target. my ex husband for years prior to our divorce and his affairs, was all 4 c's! he created a lot of chaos, alot of pathological enmeshment, and still continues to do so, sacrificing our children. one daughter does not speak to me from one day to the next- and we had such a good relationship before. as a result, i have had no contact with my 2 grandchildren for almost 3 years. i think she has been so manipulated she herself is developing NPD. i fear for her mental health, because she is clearly a victim and has lost all critical thinking. Her father uses her to hurt me in any way he can. (by not speaking to me, by trying to influence siblings to look at me negatively , confuse them- so sad) so this is domestic violence in addition to child abuse.
Your story sounds verbatim to my own. 😞 I wish we could fix it.
I keep praying and every year it seems harder and harder to fill the gap of our broken bond.
Very accurately said . The truth about this situation is devastating to the child . In every point here .
Thank you. That was spectacular in explanation. What is a alienated parent and estranged child to do in this case. My son looks through me, gets stiff and sweaty handed when in contact with me. He doesn’t seem to remember or recognize me.
Mona, how are things now? It has been 2 years for you since you posted...❤to you
I think most of us know PA definitely exists, the problem comes when the alienated parent appears in front of a judge who does not understand it, or perhaps has not been his experience, and finds it easier to see other things. Tragic that the law can't be changed, to make 50/50 parenting the norm. And stop the heartache that goes on , on a daily basis. So much damage done to children and alienated parents. My own long suffering son being one of those who is being brought to his knees by an ex who has Bipolar disorder, and brings new meaning to control.
I totally agree and am in the same situation. I pray for you and us all trapped in this living hell.
Very well explained. Wonderful job Dr. I have been the victim parent , however, the targeting came from my husband and his second wife. Both covert narcissists. He has been deceased for 7 years, his wife continues in the motherhood position and I am still rejected. I was very close to my children, they turned seemingly overnight. Your explanation helps me to understand how that could happen so quickly. Thank you.
Great and helpful video! But does this mean there is no hope if we get a judge that isn't familiar with parental alienation or psychological abuse? Where should I go for advice on this?
Excellent!!!! This brilliant man’s video was a part of my DIVINE INTERVENTION!!! Thank you, Lord!
Thankyou!!!! U could not be more on the button! Where the hell is the help, expertise? Meantime my children are getting psychologically damaged!!! Us! Yes US step up NOW!
You are not alone. I broke down into tears when i saw this. The sudden realization with facts that says im not crazy. The psychological abuse from my ex has been real for years, this validates it.
Dr Miller the legend !
It makes my cry , my ex husband is doing this to my daughter and I, and the court doesn’t recognize it. I feel like that this is tailored to my case :( when will the court recognize in California that they get it all wrong ???
California has this bad ,I been out of my sons life since two years old he has now moved on and graduated while the mom touts praise on her facebook and she only has one photo of him up clearly shows she is hiding him
@@tommypearson9260 3 yrs since the other parent kidnapped our daughters..now 17 and 13....a lifetime away from my little girls he is determined to destroy
I’m so so sorry…. It’s a nightmare….. I’m dealing with it too… in another state. My heart is so broken
@@kristen9827 Don’t despair. I went to that also but I am recovered. I lost my adults kids and I don’t see my grandchildren. There you go the narcissist alienador father won. I tell you I fought for years. Love yourself, care for you, be strong, never give an inch. Know that you tried your best. Know that you are special and your children will be with you. Be patient and know when to act.
My toxic narcissist Ex is actively alienating our daughter against me. The courts don’t seem to understand. I am still in shock and don’t know what to do !
Great info from this man. BTW, as a non-blood parent involved in a defacto parentage case vs the bio-mom (suffering from extreme menta health crisis and substance abuse) the alienation argument along with a host of other elements essential to win our rights to see the child again as we once had, will be strong and potent. Anytime a 'wholly compromised' mother says in court that suddenly the child in question is scared or doesn't want to see the people caring for him since infancy, while bio-mom herself has created all the chaos and fear events for everyone is someone admitting to coercion of a child. I truly do not see any problem with alienation when its proved overtly. If a judge fails to recognize it as evident and valid in a case then perhaps that judge should educate herself/himself in this aspect of toxic parenting. To those men and women suffering custody or defacto cases, I stand and support your efforts to win rights in order to save and protect the child's best interests to have a successful life. Peace and love and prayers to the judges especially who must rule on these awful matters. A'ho.
This guy is good.
He is very good!
Good...I think you should say he is great.
Yeah he is!...we need these intelligent men to mediate our family law courts...
@@nealavagnano3750 he is great or wonderfully intelligent
I’m a victim of parental alienation. For over 6 years now. I don’t know where to seek assistance. I need help getting my daughters back. Can anyone help me 🙏
I'm dealing with 16 years of severe alienation from 15, 17 and 18 year olds then and now in a trial 16 year's later with the now adult children who suffer severe mental and emotional abuse from parental alienation. It was a 5 day trial of horrifying effects and as a mother who loved her children requested not to have them on the stand and was ignored in Dec 2021 and they used up the time
and now I'm waiting on 4 more days and the trial was put off until September 2022. This is not healthy for my adult kids or for myself. I am a loving mom stripped of my children because of their father's revenge on me. Advocate in Ontario Canada
I am searching for help for our family as I read this. We too are awaiting court in Sept. 2022. The alienating parent is my daughter's ex. He is a cop. He continues to lie in family court and he is very actively isolating my 14 year old grandson. His 3 sisters, ages 11, 7, and 5, are afraid to talk on the phone with their mother when they are at his house. You can see it on their faces. It's the cruelest thing thst I have ever experienced. My grandson and I were bonded like glue since he was a baby. Now he won't respond to my texts. I know that his phone is being monitored by his father. It is if he has been kidnapped and brainwashed. You just can't find a better mother than my daughter. It is a crime the way he is using my grandchildren to get revenge on my daughter for filing for divorce because he had a long term affair. He lives with the woman and she is his partner in parental alienation. They are trying to wipe the children's mommy off of the earth. I know they would kill her if they could get away with it. The father actually said that to one of the children. The miserable female judge in our case doesn't care about any of that. Had we known the failings of the family court system, my daughter would have stayed in the marriage to save her children from the horrid abuse that they are receiving from their own "male parent". He is NOT one that can be called a father.
Good luck to you.
you are not alone, though I know it feels like you are.
Heartbroken to see your post.. were the adult children suing you? What was the outcome. I feel your pain and know it well.
I have a client that keeps claiming PAL, the case came in for substance abuse committed by my client. The child was removed. She has done all her services and therapy to get custody back, and she did and my client had a relapse. My client got clean again but the damage was done. The child keeps rejecting her. I keep trying to tell her that PAL requires that there be no abuse on the part of the parent claiming alienation. Abuse can be physical or mental ie the child catches a parent cheating on the other parent, parent doing drugs and is removed from the home by the state, etc. The alienated parent really needs to look at whether there is any reasonable basis for the child to reject them.
God Bless you alll🙏 So True, so True...funally THE courts dont see this. I need to rescue my Daughter Thank hank you🙏
Spot on .
You have spoken the truth.
I SO WISH THIS WAS LAW IN THE UK!! I AM POWERLESS HERE.2 GIRLS, HAVEN'T SEEN MY ELDEST IN 3 AND HALF YEARS AND MY YOUNGEST IN A YEAR. BEEN TO COURT TWICE AND WON..NO CHANGE.
Thank you so very much for this video it's exactly what I thought was happening you just cleared it all up for me perfectly said
I had the privilege to speak with Dr. Miller on the phone regarding my Connecticut divorce involving my alienated children. My ex had a pathological enmeshment family dynamic with her mother. I can relate to Dr. Miller’s every word regarding P.A. .
Mandates are needed for all family court positions (Judges, GAL’s, Divorce lawyers, family therapists and the family court “experts”) with regards to training and learning about patterns of an alienating parent. The bottom line is THIS IS CHILD ABUSE!
So what do we do. Especially when your children are adults?
Is there a Dr. In ohio that follows this type of understanding in Parental alienization that follows in the footsteps of Dr. MILLER that I can reach out to?...
Thank you 🙏
I am identifying with this information in my current situation. My dad is 92, clinically diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 1 year ago but was gradually declining for as much as 10 years prior.
He has a wife 20 years younger whom he has had a relationship for 30+ years. She is a covert narcissist, and my dad is a narcissist too but oddly- he’s not as malicious as some. 1 year ago the wife was caught in process but before she took all dads money. Dad had just been diagnosed late mid stage Alzheimer’s before this occurred. It forced my brother & I to request court eval for dads disability, I applied for his guardian, brother for conservator. Wife opposed both of these in court. Judge granted 50/50 ( coguardian s) to me & wife. Brother was granted conservator. 9 months into this ruling, but also having experienced this wife for 4 years by now, and dads mind declining, Covid, perfect storm of events including over a decade of wife alienating dad from us- his grown children- he now has been ‘alienated’ by his narcissistic wife who is super angry with us for turning off the free flow money facet (financial abuse of my fathers resources for years), she also resents our involvement into their ‘privacy’ ( isolation), because she is also not meeting his care needs for food, hygiene, safety/ supervision, emotional wellbeing, and essentially is also emotionally abusing him by alienating him from us- such hateful and malicious things she tells him that are NOT TRUE, ( she uses ALL the Narc tactics and more and more frequently with escalation to physical aggression into me- because I’ve learned what to do & not to do with dealing with narcs manipulation). The point… my dad with Alzheimer’s has been groomed by her/ wife, over years as his mind declined, she tells him these things in front of us! She lies, he believes her- he’s soo dependent on her to think for him- he trusts her! It’s wrong! and now has dad believing that if we ask him to go somewhere with us she says/ he believes that We are going to drive him to a nursing home and leave him there!, Another example now is that dad and his wife have their own separate homes 30 miles apart- dads home had a water line break, they went to stay at her home- it took 3 months to fix- and now that it’s finished wife is refusing to return him to HIS home where we all know for years he’s said it, even told judge 9 months ago at his disability ruling, he wanted to live out and die there. Well now dad is saying that he does not have his own home! Because the wife is telling him lies which he believes ( he’s like a child- d/ to Alzheimer’s), and I look at our coguardian situation as if wife and I are parents, he’s the ‘child’, wife is a malicious angry Narc who does not want anyone to see her mistreatment of dad , ( & she’s freaked out b/ cause of new camera in his home, to oversee hiring caregivers needed to provide him b/ cause wife is not doing enough of what he needs) , she is refusing to return and refusing to return him to his home, has convinced him he doesn’t have one anymore, turned him against us ( she cannot control us and we are ‘up in her business’ over taking better care of dad. Currently I’ve pressed charges against her for the many deficiencies / negligence to meet dads quickly changing needs, and also charged her w/ contempt for not returning him to his home, etc as court ordered in her role with me /co guardianship. I’m an RN 40
Years esp w/ geriatric population, I’m dads legal
health surrogate, 64 y/ o daughter!
Parental alienation is happening among us with my dad only he has Alzheimer’s, the coguardian is a narcissist with anger and hate for dads family- we caught her just before she could be successful in financial exploitation of his life savings! These things you explain are SO ON POINT - the only difference is our ages- marriage status and the custom/ true pawn- is my dad who has Alzheimer’s and is at near end of life as compared to a literal ‘child’. The wife needs to be held in contempt of current orders and her co guardian role stripped away. If she would only ‘ be the wife’ and leave the caregiver role to be filled by others better trained & exprienced. Pray the judge will rule in out favor- less than 2 weeks til the hearing.
How do you become a specialty level professional?
I was married to this for 32 years and had no clue until after the split .. kids are adults now but they turned on me.. doesn’t make sense .
I'm in this right now. Supervised visit today, my daughter attacked me, called me "idiot" then calmed. As she walked with me in a hug she announced she didn't want to live anymore. Visit supervised by New Mexico CYFD's Wyndsor Yazzie and V. Romero. Mr. Yazzie dismisses the alienation as 'cultural' and didn't intervene when daughter expressed SI. I'm very scared for my daughter's life and health.
The State of New Mexico would sooner kill this child than help her despite the decade of evidence
Yes ! This is totally a Stockholm Syndrome inducing situation ! My God, this man is right !
So my chances of winning my children back, in court, is almost zero. That's what everyone's, who's going through this, tells me. When the CFI interviewed my alienated teens and my husband. She left thinking their relationship was perfect and I was the abuser and the problem. That's EXACTLY what happened. She supposedly has PA training too. I hate the family court system. BTW, I AM getting a divorce and am not at home anymore.
Damn. My life right there.
Gratitude❤
Every profession has its own special people … yes even medicine🙃
0:51
RIP Dr. Miller.
Let him cook. Thank you for your knowledge.
And PA continues even into adulthood with the adult child so controlled they still can't see it. 😢
Thank you Dr...I am going thru that and yeah the courts are in big trouble...its bias and bigotry!...
Our family experienced this 20 years ago with my cousins child after my cousin died. After her surviving parent , her father was declared unfit , the court only allowed " supervised visitation" by her beloved grandparents. The therapist was foolish - while the child would not talk to the, or look at them. Any rational , healthy person would know that she was scared of her dad. Why do you say it is counter intuitive? That it takes " special training" - it is common sense?
❤
I have been on the parental alienation agenda now
For 10
Years. I’m so
Sad to know I now only see my daughter
Once every 10 months…
There might be a very good reason that one parent is alienated. That parent might be abusive. It seems that mothers are often the ones who think the fathers are abusive, and those fathers counter with an accusation of alienation. I've read this is the common way things happen in family courts, and about 70% of the time, the fathers are favored. I know of a specific incident where a mother's warnings about the father were ignored and the judge, in his almighty wisdom ordered the little girl to spend time alone with her father. the father murdered her. This is a recent case - the little girl's name was Ellie Obi Lorenzo. Look it up.
The one who did my daughter this way had CPS .lawyers . lDrs believing that my daughter abused her kids . and abandament .CPS gave this person all rights .and gave this person to right to say if children and mom get to visit .or talk on phone and this person never let them
Sttemptimg to overcome the Embezzlement and Alienation of me and my children by a appointed tem guardian
Yes he is correct with saying all that and I know because I'm seeing that with my kids and I get it. Here is the thing tho, people who aren't going though it won't understand it because it all sounds crazy. Here is the #1 thing to see if a family is going through PA is find out what the status is with the kids communication with the alienated parents side of the family (grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc..) If no communication there then there ya have it.
Probably
There is a better way. Parental custody of children is actually a very simple matter to solve given the true desire of “What is best for the child”.
We need to separate and discard marriage from family law as they no longer seem to be connected and "Marriage makes people treat each other as articles of property and no longer as free human beings. Einstein".
We can develop protocols that confer (over time) equal parental rights and responsibilities,…..once parentage is proven.
Children’s natural maturation process has 3 essential stages of need.
A.The unconditional love of the mother from birth until about 7 years of age. The mother to have “thefinalsay” and to receive child allowance.
B.The conditional love of the father, who takes his children out into the world, gives security and teaches social boundaries from 7 until about 13 years of age. The father to have “thefinalsay” and to receive child allowance.
C.The friendship and respect of peers from 13 until 18 years of age. The child to have “thefinalsay”.
If these 3 stages are not gone through in order, maturation is unlikely to be satisfactorily achieved and mental resilience reduced. This has now become generational.
Such a regime of equal parenting rights (over time) would bind parents into a co-operative relationship, because (over time) each will hold the power of “thefinalsay” sequentially when they are best favoured to use it.
Such family protocols would be the default position, (allowing love, courtesy and humour to prevail) but could in exceptional cases be varied by the court.
Buckminster Fuller said:-
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete”.
To alleviate suffering is worthy. To prevent it is divine, but thankless.
👏👌🙏
This stuff does immense damage to the child & the targeted parent & to the alienating parent.
A Men
A parent can also alienate a grown child
He has the exact questions that i was looking for because my husband has other child with another woman but that was 13 years age the issue here is that my husband is mot on the birth certificate of that child but yet the mother of the child has call my husband from day one since the baby was born but the mother of the child has toll my husband that is hes child and that he needs to be responsible for him when shes the one thats been contacti g my husband to tell him i he nows is hes child but the mother never allow him to have any relationship with the child at all but yet she contacting him he has ask the mother if he and tslk to the child or to have contact with the child now my question is when my husband takes the DNA test to see if its hes child and lets say its positive but it the mother of the child never allow my husband to be on the childs life for all this years well the courts still well give him child support even if he never had a relationship or even now the child?
patriarchy cult is way overstepping his/her bounds here, wow. As far as your husband and his child, he should do what he can to be in his child's life. A father's role in a child's development into healthy adults is way underrated and he should make every effort. There are many things that can be done on your own or through a paralegal, other than that you may wish to hire a lawyer, just vet the lawyer and ensure that they are specialized in cases of parental alienation. No one can tell you what will happen in your case. All I can do is suggest to you to support your husband being in the child's life and try not to act in an alienating way yourself if you do. The book I have been reading is Understanding Parental Alienation by Karen and Nick Woodall and is a must read for both you and your husband. It is not about fighting with and hurting the other parent, but having a positive role in a child's development and guiding them through life. Leaving them on their own just leads to major problems for them throughout their lives and it's worth it to show them the empathy, understanding and guidance they need. Paying child support, however which way it is used by the other parent, is one way to be in the child's life, whether you are able to be with them at the time or not. Keep doing the right thing for the child. This is about what is best for the child and that is how we need to behave as the parents that are supposed to be there for them.
Wizardofgop
Thank you so mush for you kind words and itvice i appreciate it a lot god bless u 🙏
can i show you some proof of PA
So after many suicide attempts, how do I get my life back??
Total psychological & emotional abuse of child/ren. And targeted parent.
Alienated mums and dads come and write a loving message to your children at www.parentsmissingtheirkids.com
No body cares. They only care if it concerns them.
That is not true. Is that self-projection?
I would like it if the 'Stockholm Syndrome' rhetoric is left out of discussions of parental alienation and just keep to the ever-growing number of facts and clinical observations that have been compiled about parental alienation exclusively. Muddying the waters by drawing parallels to a highly contested illness is unnecessary and confuses the issue especially when there is so much information about alienation that needs to be shared that will help to raise awareness.
Wow - totally disagree with you that it's 'muddying the waters'! Referencing 'Stockholm Syndrome' and 'King Solomon's Judgment' are extremely useful (and simple/non-complex) ways to help people get past the barriers of counterintuitivity that are blocking their way to understanding and/or accepting the construct of 'parental alienation'.
@@beautifuldayzee5942 Stockholm Syndrome is not part of the DSM. It should not be referenced as it is not recognized and accepted as an actual psychological disorder. Whereas attachment disorders as referred to by Dr. Craig Childress carries actual legitimacy and is the only way (via known and accepted disorders) that parental alienation should be described. Otherwise it will be continue to be dismissed and debunked.
I think he mentions the Stockholm Syndrome as something adults unfamiliar with pathogenic parenting can have a tangible example they can relate with ,a point of reference, an introduction to something that is counterintuitive to their way of thinking. Finding something, anything that can be helpful in creating some kind of familiarity will more likely lead to active engagement and discussion. People are more familiar with the term Stockholm Syndrome than the DSM. The point is to expose the level of toxic manipulation being used to alter the reality of a human being and the devastating results on everyone involved.
@@lorraines5792 Old wives tales are not going to cut it. Whatever his intentions are, they need to be grounded with legitimate and accepted criteria or we will lose credibility. That will do no one any good.
@The Patriarchy Is Beta Males Trying to be gods You sound like you have a cluster b personality disorder and are trying to gaslight, trigger and bait me. Get help. This is the second time you have posted on my comments from two different videos. There is something wrong with you. As far as your comment, you are projecting your issues onto me. Again, get some help.
Lots of blablabla but no real solution so PAY ATTENTION, I'll give you the answers: people who are being manipulated, be it child, teen (parental) or adult (affections), have a deficit of reasoning because of the lies that he/she has been told and, along with other symptoms, lack of empathy so this is exactly what is going on here. The very same people who are responsible for studying, treating and mainly, JUDGING, have been through the same process. Bear in mind that the judicial system is taking place of the ecclesiastical system of old so it is in nature, ecclesiastical. The state (society) is the main cause of this because it is composed of a bunch of people with average low IQ (caused by affection/parental alienation). To stop parental or affection alienations one has to take some actions in his personal lives and mindset: first, don't ever talk to anybody from the judicial system, it's the same case if the other spouse were to ask for divorce in his church, in which case you are going to accept their beliefs and conditions. Second, don't ever leave your home! Third, and most important, talk to your children and explain to them that it's a phase that the family is going through and it's going to pass. On the judicial system side of the case, the people involved have to understand that it's not their business to get into other people's problems (as a matter of fact it's a crime). If one of the spouses wants to leave and is not happy or whatever, then leave. These people have had the same issues in their original families and have the ability to destroy their actual family. Want to see how the system works? Check Kernberg's assumptions at 16:40 in the video ruclips.net/video/brNuwQNN3q4/видео.html and apply them to the judicial system. There you have it. Stay away from authoritative people! If you agree with this information and find it useful to help other people, PLEASE, feel free to share it.
❤