Parental Alienation - Crazy Making Issues
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- Опубликовано: 6 окт 2024
- Ben Burgess, M.A., obtained his degree in psychology from Western Michigan University and is now a practicing psychologist with the Fountain Hill Center for Counseling and Consultation. Since 2006, his primary focus has been on providing services to individuals and families experiencing high-conflict divorce and separation. In addition to individual and family counseling, Ben provides comprehensive evaluations, such as custody and parenting time evaluations and parenting capacity evaluations, that help individuals, families, and courts make informed decisions. Through a variety of tools, including psychological testing, he helps people better understand their emotional landscape and identify strategies for negotiating obstacles.
He talks about Crazy Making Issues in Parental Alienation cases and false allegations of child abuse.
Due to the numerous counter-intuitive issues arising in alienation cases, one profoundly
deleterious result is “unwitting professional collusion with the alienating parent,” thereby exacerbating the alienation-often beyond repair. Non-specialists in alienation are particularly susceptible to becoming co-opted by the alienating parent, who presents well, while the alienated parent, who is a trauma victim, may present poorly. This problem cannot be overstated. We have experienced all too many cases in which a mental health professional had contributed to “a climate of fear, hatred, and terror” that led to a substantial negative impact on the relationship between the child and alienated parent and supported the child’s “refusal and resistance to parenting time with good, loving, and safe parents.”
The interview was filmed on location at the PASG 2019 International Conference (Parental Alienation Study Group) in Philadelphia, USA, in September 2019. The video is produced by Equal Parenting Rights Association, Iceland, www.foreldrajafnretti.is.
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Other specialists who talked about Parental Alienation at the PASG 2019 International Conference:
In the Eyes of the Specialists: • Parental Alienation - ...
Amy Baker - The Four-Factor Model: • Parental Alienation - ...
William Bernet - Historical Highlights: • Parental Alienation - ...
Ben Burgess - Crazy Making Issues: • Parental Alienation - ...
Linda Gottlieb - Reunification and treating alienated children: • Parental Alienation - ...
Jennifer Harman - Targeted parents and the effects: • Parental Alienation - ...
Steven Miller - Evidence Based Science: • Parental Alienation - ...
Karen Woodall - A Trans-Generational Trauma: • Parental Alienation - ...
Nick Woodall - A Splitting of the Self: • Parental Alienation - ...
Shawn Wygant - Third Party Alienation: • Parental Alienation - ...
After 28 times defending myself in court I finally decided to walk away. My daughter was going with the lies in the last year. I hurt all the time but didn't want to subject her anymore to the constant attacks. We did everything together and I pray one day to be reunited and hopefully just start where we left off... Catching every species of fish.
Jeremy, I am so sorry and saddened to hear this. May I ask how old your daughter was? I am currently going through my own battle to be reunited with my children who I have not seen for 5 months. I hope you will be reunited one day.
My heart hurts for you. Im considering walking away now. After fighting this for 16 years im drained and they are slipping away no matter what I do. Hardest decision I have ever had to make and im not sure I have the guts. But im ready for my kids to be able to live in peace and im ready to be able to live
@@Thepathof77 I am so sorry to hear this. My fight is just starting I cannot give up and today I received some good news that there is nothing legally stopping me from being reunited so I hope I will be reunited with my children soon and start to repair what has always been a strong relationship. Bless you and your children.
@@winforward7 im praying for an easy reunification and a blessed future. Hallelujah!
Been there, it destroyed me in the end, sadly my daughter is exactly the same.. I think you have done the right thing, from my own experience, i wish i had listen to my friends around me, go live your life as best you can.. I waisted to many years and ended up with mental issues myself because of it all.. I hope one day, the truth outs and you are both reunited again. I know exactly what you going through :( ....chin up, if you can.
This therapist gets it. Parental alienation must be one of the most evil things in the world that is happening to the family. God help us.
No such thing as God in cases like these
@@garygoodrick-meech3906 More reason to turn to God in cases like these.
Strong families equal strong countries. This is leading to full government control of children.
New World Order leading to communism.
Wake the hell up
This was exactly my experience. How I’ve survived is truly miraculous.
Thank you for the explanation and examples. As a mother witnessing my children go through parental alienation, it feels heartbreaking. My heart breaks for them.
Wow, this man gets everything here.
So true, dysfunctional families suck up resources. Get proactive and protect children from addictions. That's what responsible parents do.
Thank you, Ben. PA is heartbreaking and devastating. The parent that pushes children to do what they need to do, but doesn't push their children to see the other parent. That is a lightbulb moment.
This brought me to tears, you really get what is happening to so many children and parents. I know you nailed it to a tee for my situation. I cannot wait until Child Protective Services, Family Court, and the Mental Health Professionals come together with a single voice and realize that these cases have common denominators, and should be immediately taken to qualified trained Mental Health Experts with respect as to the child and get an accurate assessment less the bias of parental interference. Some parents can and do Manipulate the overwhelmed Protective Services, and use their false allegations as a silver bullet to steal a child(ren) away from the other parent and begin an erasing process. The Protective Services and Family Court lock the other Parent out with the noble idea of protection of the child, If a parent is truly abusing a child then they should have to deal with the consequences, But unlike most cases, these are you are guilty until you prove yourself innocent. Not only do you have to defend yourself against a divorce Lawyer, but Governmental Powers as well, and it is an arduous uphill battle, that most of us in this situation can not win. You learn like in Boxing , you must protect yourself at all times... even against your children... they have now become a weapon against you. At the same time you are handicapped as to what you can say to your children if you have an opportunity, because the stress the other parent has placed them under. I wouldn't wish this to happen to my worst enemy, and I have forgiven my soon to be ex- spouse (yet I will never be able to trust her again). I pray for all those affected with this plight and will endeavor to do my best to shed light to the broken parts of our system and affect positive changes.
So true! We are still in the throes of battle; the Delaware family court system and child abuse "experts" are a travesty.
This is exactly right. After fighting it for years, kids mom finally got a corrupt therapist (on our dime) for the children. As soon as the therapist was in the picture, the false allegations got worse. 7 months in, we lost the children due to an allegation of emotional abuse. She diagnosed our beautiful happy son as depressed and suicidal. It’s all lies. No police or CPS reports. The mom & therapist are such a powerful team & the courts don’t even question them or even ask us if any of it’s true. 10 months without the children & it’s been the toughest most heartbreaking thing. I used to help the small children bath, by making sure they really get cleaned up, and the telephone game turned it into that I was bathing naked with them. Mom went online spouting that I’m being inappropriate with them when all I did was help wash their hair, while im fully clothed and out of the bath. It’s a sick twisted game.
So true. My nasty ex DIL has told so many lies about our son who was the primary caregiver until this happened, and was the "home schooler" during COVID lockdown, as she worked second shift.
Microscope... every mistake! Sigh
It's enough to make you go insane
The only "professionals" are the ones living thru this fucking hell.
Thank you for the knowledge
Where were these videos even shedding light on these topics 13 years ago.
It’s bad enough when family courts make alienation worse. It’s a whole new level when a non-expert “expert” mental health person is added to the mix.
Yes!!!
How do you stop them??????
Thank you. I continue to write for my son he truly have great knowledge I've always had my daughter but my son was taken away when my soulmate committed suicide the paternal grandmother took him on ridiculous allegations and the first judge refused himself who signed on it then we got another judge and he all lies! I mean it's a complex case really I never thought I were my rights I mean I'm so confused about a lot of things. I'm n tennessee. I was na March in and fill out the petition that I feel like I do need an attorney for this attorney that I'm really screwing me over people lied to guardian ad litem was paid off I mean people have literally been paid off. Also there's a therapist involved that is literally ridiculous and yes like you said I could probably sneeze and she would write in the report that Gabriel regressed because of the sneeze
Thankful for your wisdom
Absolutely correct
I tried for so, long even after failing with the courts, the law is stacked against men here in the UK, its heart breaking. What i could not believe was how brain washed a child could be, even when you tried to show them real facts, they would always believe the other parent. She is 22 now, she is so twisted, that no man stays with her for very long, i have watched her take apart ex boyfriends, to the point of posting nude images of one on facebook (so i was told). I myself have had vile things said about me and spread about me, none of my family wish to have anything to do with her because what they have seen :( 5 members of my family including her grandfather has gone to there graves never seeing her.. I wish i could say there is a happy ending to this, but there is not.. There is no happy ending to the many victims out there and sadly only a few children actually wake up and realize what has happened to them. It most definitely is the worst kind of child abuse there is. As we all like to think parents would never harm us, and this is why even kids in adulthood in many cases do not believe that have been abused, it seams to be normal behavior for them. From what i have researched on children that have grown up as an aliened child, they also ether become alienator`s there selfs or alienated from there own children, its a problem that becomes systemic :( I don`t want peoples sympathy, i just want people to know how bad it can get and how alienating a parent is one of the most evilest thing one person can do to another, that it does effect a childs mind and well being. That the one the has to truely suffers from all this is the child. If alienating parents think they love and care for there child, then i would ask them to think about there actions.. Because alienating a child from any family member or parent is not love for your child. Its using them as a weapon for your own twisted ideals. Love for you child is allowing them to see and know and have bonds with the other side of there family..
You are exactly right!
Very similar here. Yes, in UK also. Son and daughter have no empathy for me. I feel for them, they really are going through a lot, both mid-20s. Yep, blows one's mind at how brainwashed they become, false memories and all. And yes, I agree .. folk out there say that the children will come back in time, just be there for them; if I kept up that hope forever I would have died by now. I'm sure maybe one of them might seek me out again one day .. but again, their view of me through the inaccurate lenses makes any relationship with each other false, disingenuous, conditional .. it's gone, it's done. I'm really sorry mate that you're going through this too. May you have a very peaceful and fruitful life, and know that you were (are) a very good loving father, regardless.
@@jackgoodings Thank you for your reply, I know this is going to sound harsh, but how can you be there for them, some kids are out to destroy you? how can there be love in a relationship where there is no trust? only damage? I must admit, i never, never thought i would see the day, when i would say the things i do now. I have noticed that when they have kids of there own, a few seek out the absent father, but is it for a relationship or a grand parent for there kids or money? What is hard , is seeing or having some form of communication from them and they sound and act exactly like the abusive parent with care. If the abuse from that parent when you were with them was bad enough, You have your son or daughter being a mirror image of them to deal with now. So the abuse continues :(. For me a long i have had a long time thinking on this, i have come to realize that No.. enough is enough. Have you watched "Men and Divorce Court Greg Ellis The Jordan B. Peterson Podcast" ?? It made me feel for Greg Ellis, he has come to the point i did with my child. There is no more hope, only memory`s if you have them and a lingering living death, i can only relate this to a miscarriage but you relive this for real every day for the rest of your days. Its sad, because kids do need there mums and dads, with out thm they dont grow up with as a rounded individual and problems when they start having relationships :( something they them selfs dont see as it is normal for them, yet others can.
Hope you doing good king 💪
It's 18yrs for me terrible divorce. Have no contact tried but failed. Our life's have been ruined. I must move on at this point their grown adults.💔💔💔💔💔💔
This is not by accident ; it’s by design.
There is $$$ to be made by the therapists, attorneys, Guardian ad litums, judges and the state with federal funds handed to the state for every $ collected via child support payments.
What would the 'specialized training' be called?
There is a better way. Parental custody of children is actually a very simple matter to solve given the true desire of “What is best for the child”.
We need to separate and discard marriage from family law as they no longer seem to be connected and "Marriage makes people treat each other as articles of property and no longer as free human beings. Einstein".
We can develop protocols that confer (over time) equal parental rights and responsibilities,…..once parentage is proven.
Children’s natural maturation process has 3 essential stages of need.
A.The unconditional love of the mother from birth until about 7 years of age. The mother to have “thefinalsay” and to receive child allowance.
B.The conditional love of the father, who takes his children out into the world, gives security and teaches social boundaries from 7 until about 13 years of age. The father to have “thefinalsay” and to receive child allowance.
C.The friendship and respect of peers from 13 until 18 years of age. The child to have “thefinalsay”.
If these 3 stages are not gone through in order, maturation is unlikely to be satisfactorily achieved and mental resilience reduced. This has now become generational.
Such a regime of equal parenting rights (over time) would bind parents into a co-operative relationship, because (over time) each will hold the power of “thefinalsay” sequentially when they are best favoured to use it.
Such family protocols would be the default position, (allowing love, courtesy and humour to prevail) but could in exceptional cases be varied by the court.
Buckminster Fuller said:-
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete”.
To alleviate suffering is worthy. To prevent it is divine, but thankless.
I have never looked at is exactly in this way.
I completely agree with the ideal visitation you outlined. Children shouldn’t be taken from their mother as a young child, and the father does become more important later.
They are crazy makers!
I wish you could help me. It's been 5 years :-(
Omg this is so 😔
This is not by accident ; it’s by design.
There is $$$ to be made by the therapists, attorneys, Guardian ad litums, judges and the state with federal funds handed to the state for every $ collected via child support payments.