Bill Burr on Rich People Not Paying Any Taxes (Hilarious Rant)
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 26 авг 2024
- Get Tickets to Bill's Latest Tour: bit.ly/BillBur...
Check out Bill's full podcast here: billburr.com
Bill Burr's RUclips Channel: bit.ly/2r3kGwn
Bill Burr is an American stand-up comedian, writer, actor, and podcaster who has released several stand-up comedy specials. Outside of stand-up comedy, he is known for hosting the Monday Morning Podcast, playing Patrick Kuby in the AMC crime drama series Breaking Bad, and creating and starring in the Netflix animated sitcom F Is for Family.
6:00 "toilet stolen from police station....cops have nothing to go on." 😂😂
While making his escape a bank robber fell in wet cement. Police are looking for a hardened criminal.
Haha that's good
@@Grimread He's set for life!
@@musicloverme3993 😅🤣
Your explanation of How To Do Avoid Taxes made perfectly sense - actually the first time someone explained it in a way a non-financial guy like me could understand. Anyway, gotta catch a flight to the Caymans now.
Oh man i could listen to Bill all day. He makes everything normal again. He sees into it all and fearlessly reports on it all. Bill is definitely a humanitarian if you ask me.
I always loved it when Bill screamed away from the mic
The Pahkin ((((((((MEEEETAH))))))))
Earl “fucking” WEEAVA!!!!
I also love his boohoo sound.
-it's a write off for them!
how is it a write off?
-they just write it off...
write it off what?
-all the big companies write off everything
you don't even know what a write off is
-do you?
no i don't...
-but they do. and they're the ones writing if off.
p1t - one of my favorite scenes.
😂 Glorious scene... that guy is marvelous.
@@mrheatibmor the moment you scroll through comments and find your fellow Seinfeld lovers.... Thanks guys!
Such a classic
Fucking Kramer.
longstanding parking meter theft mystery solved with today's arrest of Dale County man. The parking warden association released this statement: "Its finally safe to say: his time is up"
Let's hope the judge METErS out proper justice!
Lu Tze The man later said,"In hindsight, it didn't make much CENTS"
Way to make a joke super serious, my dude
marcus24000 It was just a fucking pun
marcus24000 thanks for ruining the joke
You are totally correct on the write offs. I owned a business when I was 23 and just if you even mention any shop talk during a sushi dinner, you can save that receipt and write it off. But you are right. It does not mean that you get that entire money back on your taxes
When he dropped the laptop 😂😭 hang in there, help is on the way.
I imagined my economics professor teaching class with Bill's vocabulary and examples. I think it would stick more.
“Does that make sense? Probly not, cuz I explained it”
15:30 "and then you just look at em and go....YES" XD
This had me cracking the f up
“I don’t need to drive around in some batmobile”
It takes balls to mess with the law if you are poor .
There isn't much to worry about when you know you have the resources to get away with a fine
@ThreesomeMonkey martin Luther King and Jfk
@@deeznuts-dm7qz RFK, Malcolm x
With the modern complex systems of gaslighting the public, I think we’ve evolved pass the need for assassination. Just have MSNBC or CNN constantly shit on anyone genuinely concerned about the poor, while claiming to be neutral, and endorsing corporately bought, fake populists as the more “realistic” voices. Or FOX claiming to support workers rights, because they support their right to work for starvation wages.
You just do it legally.
@@Catlady-mw4en Skilled workers make great money. Unskilled workers earn what their unskilled labor is worth which is not that much. They have every opportunity to learn a trade to improve themselves though.
"You sit at your cubicle instead of working and you think about it" Holy shit he knows. I am literally supposed to be working right now.
"Ive got to drive a piece of shit car whats the point of dealing drugs"
Hahahahahaha
Reporter: *clutching mic and pressing finger to earpiece "...reminding us that if you can't do the time, DON'T steal the dime...back to you Cheryl"
I’m so dumb when his phone started ringing I started frantically looking for my phone cause I thought it was mine even though I’m listening to this podcast on my phone
dont breed
Jason i love oz agreed
Samuel Opashi yea yer pretty dumb.
here's your sign...
Guys cut him some slack. I have worked with a lot of stupids. They never joke about their own intelligence. In fact they never question it, they're convinced that they are smart, even if there is plenty of evidence suggesting the opposite. So I think he aint that dumb if he is capable of having this thought and make fun of himself.
This guys life is gonna CHANGE 😂
A sidewalk Santa Claus every 20 feet. That’s why we called’em “da good old days” ❤️
As a CPA I love sitting back and listening to Bill explain how taxes work. I wonder if he would enjoy my explanation of what makes a joke funny. My dream would be to have such a discussion, at a bar, smoking cigars and sipping Jack Daniels with Bill talking only taxes and me pontificating about comedy.
Crying with laughter here about the dropped laptop reaction right at the end..."hang in there baby, help is on the way"..."better try and read something before the screen goes black" so funny, thanks Bill
"and he got his car back and he's smelling rubber, and I get my truck back and I'm seeing all these scratches. We both go 'uh.....that's fair'
...and then we both got arrested for drunk driving."
XD
Theme of Today’s Episode: Bill tells the audience how to commit a crime...
SMMAAAAAHT FONE
Brilliant absolutely brilliant. So important to have comedians reminding us of what is going on
I feel like I'm gonna get put on a list for waching this lol
And for making a comment on watching it.
@@patricblair4240 1011
Welcome to the good time list.
Lmao me too
So be it
Tonight at 9, the story of how one parking meter Thief
Got short-changed
Great now I know how to protect my money... Now I need to know how to make 100 million !
Edmond Marquier Just sign a Free Trade Agreement that sells out American workers and banks will pay you back in speaking fees. $600k at a time...
Deregulate ThisNow How do I get to that position ?
Edmond Marquier It looks like you have to be a corrupt President to pull it off.
I notice Jimmy Carter doesn't get $600k paid speeches for Goldman Sachs.
I would feel terrible guilt, but those hundreds of millions would pay for a lot of therapy, booze, and hookers!
Affirmative Action Jedi
Exploitation of wage slaves is the only thing that makes the rich cream in their pants.
Thx guys, Im on my way to being a corrupt monster !!
I finally understand why schools don't teach taxes.
They don't everyone to be smart enough to get away with not paying them.
My school teaches taxes
@@waterbender6288 That's because you don't live in America
@@yasirkadhim2940 they teach to pay taxes and how important it is, how they keep society moving with taxes. They never mention the other sides
Here are a few true facts, more often than not...
"the rich get richer and the poor get poorer"
"Money creates money, not hard work"
Finally, people blessed enough to be born with certain skills (which is a very, very small % of the population) also have a great chance to be very successful financially. People like Tiger, Jordan, Ruth, Ali (very charismatic and courageous as well), Gretzky, Pele, etc...
With enough hard work, anyone can be successful today. It's just that some people have better chances than others. Certain people born into money and they have such an advantage over someone who is born addicted to drugs...its just the sad reality of life.
Poor people aren't getting poorer in any literal sense. Poor people today have smart phones, cable and free housing, automobiles and clothing. And until recently poor people couldn't get obese. Today's poor people have more than the middle class did a few decades ago.
@@billschlafly4107 Sorry Bill, but my parents were middle class to lower middle class and they had a house (they were still paying on, a car, a bank account, and decent credit rating.
I don't have a NO place to live (staying at a friends), no bank account, NO MONEY...literally, and NO job! I do get a SNAP card and get state insurance though. The only things I own is a bike and a smartphone. I don't even have a service provider because I literally can't pay it. I use a free app just to make calls and it must be with wifi. Trust me, I am nowhere near wear my parents were 30-50 years ago. In fact, a person could almost raise a small family off $14 an hour back in the 1970's & 80's. Now, you can't even take care of yourself off of that. Honestly, In 1980 it was under $1 for a pack of cigs, $0.25 for a soda, and it was the same type of costs for milk, gas, & everything else. So you can argue it's even harder today. There are many, many, more poor families now then when I was growing up. I live in a bigger city in the midwest and there weren't many ghetto's in the city. Now the entire inner city is just one HUGE GHETTO!
All the neighborhoods that were nice and affluent now have drug dealers, hookers, and violence. The houses are run down, there is litter everywhere and it's just getting worse.
All the jobs that were available back then have been outsourced to China, India, etc... The big corporations, banks, pharmaceutical companies, hospitals, etc... are becoming mega rich and buying up so much property. I know a lot of millennials live in their own head and think everything is hunky-dory, but it is the opposite.
Finally, when I was growing up, the population was 4 billion, now it is almost double that. That is crazy and by the year 2050 it is projected to be almost tripled. With so many people, there is only enough land to destroy, resources to use up, and jobs to go around. There are more & more prisons being built but they can't keep up with the disenfranchised part of the population. It is so sad and the only positive is I won't be around when this planet is on the verge of chaos and possibly even self-destruction.
‘And then you just look at them and go: YES’ 😂
“Let’s get the fuck outta here!” LMAO......Bill Burr is a fucking GENIUS.......😂😂😂
This is a very old issue basically started by Alexander Hamilton in the 1790's. When he got his federalist (rich)buddies to buy up all the bonds, war debt he knew a tax system would have to be created to service that debt. If the rich own those bonds obviously the rich can't be taxed to pay the rich, so the taxes were passed to workers which indirectly went to the rich in the form of interest they collect from their bonds.
Obviously there is a lot more to the story, but Hamilton was NOT a good guy in terms of liberty for this country. That is why the left and right love him, he is more responsible than anyone for the federal expansion of power which both the left and right love. It seems to only be the libertarians that actually understand what Hamilton is all about
How did you know I was sitting in my cubicle listening to you instead of working?
Lol...I listened to the laptop drop multiple times, that was hilarious!!
Bill dropping his macbook is the sleeper bit
To answer your question about having to leave your state on tax evasion for it to be Federal, the answer is no. Failing to pay your Federal income tax is a Federal crime and the IRS has jurisdiction regardless of whether a person leaves their state or not. I know this from having worked at the collections department of the IRS for 4 years.
That said, a complicated tax code exists solely as a means of making otherwise useless legislators worth bribing.
I am curious. Could you please reference the law that says you have to pay income taxes?
@@Zaekyr the 16th amendment
Wow. That's quite a last paragraph.
@@Zaekyr It exists, deal with it.
@@Iamwhoiam18 insufficient evidence of it being ratified, and at the time the supreme court had a different interpretation of "income."
I love listening to Bill Burr when I'm doing homework
If you're watching this it interest you, that's because Mr. Burr keeps it REAL. THANK YOU SIR.
An accidental pun in an Irish newspaper headline;
'Cork Man Drowns'
Oops
😂
I feel like this is the part in "Office Space" where they look up the definition of money laundering
He's right on point with internet porn. If you stop watching it for a while you WILL perform better.
Not for me!
Net neutrality being done with im trying to watch as much as I can.
@thomps333 lying piece of shit.
Hahahahaha 25-30min. That's nothing!
SilentMott Your experiences are not science. They’re biased anecdotes. Look up Dr Marty Klein, sex therapist. He says porn is harmless.
"Steve Jobs is laughing somewhere right now" gold 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I laughed way too hard at “Who Gives A Fuck Inc.” 😂
Property taxes on a 20mil house has to cause dizziness when you open up that piece of mail
Bill is genius! Please, please, please make more educational videos. Young people need to learn the real real.
My favorite modern day comedian: Bill F***ing Burr!
No hoowah's or boozing? Yeah Bill, that's just like a bachelor party! 😂
"Steve Jobs is laughing somewhere right now"
Hah.
In hell?
this video is more valuable than my finance degree
"more of a lunch pail swing"
you slay me every fuckin time hahahahaha
Accountant here- deductions are not dollar for dollar. Also in the last two years the IRS does not have enough money in the budget to audit anyone
Hey Bill, I was an Accounting major in college. Every accounting change put through by Bill was to create a bubble and destroy American jobs.
Mark-to-Market accounting: you get to declare assets based on nothing.
Accelerated depreciation: this is why GE hasn't paid any taxes in a decade or more. You buy a product, immediately depreciate it. Sell it to a sub company, declare profit, sub company depreciates the asset again....
As a CPA this "accounting major" in college could has no idea what hes talking about as thats not even close to how accounting works.
Care to clarify instead of just saying what this guy said is wrong?
What is there to clarify..his statements on accounting are factually wrong..he does not understand theory..if you did I wouldn't need to say anymore..Mark to market is only for tradeable assets and its based off of 3 inputs..one being a tradeable market..NOT based off nothing, they have FMV its in the wording..mark to market..Depreciation is only deferring taxes..like richard says you recapture it when the asset is sold..sub companies are all consolidated under the parent company and pay taxes as one entity as opposed to filing separate returns..CLEAR ENOUGH?
Why would you assume that anybody who didn't study this shit would know that? So when you just say people are wrong, but do not provide clarification, you aren't really adding anything to the conversation
Go away..I clearly pointed out this guy who knows nothing about how finance works is an imbecile..just like yourself..I was replying to someone who took an accounting class and was falsely misrepresenting facts..I do not need to teach accounting classes to clarify someone is wrong..when I doubt you understood anything I wrote regardless..
"youknow" before he finishes, you already know
“Uhh Jesus Christ imma get some egg or somethin” so fucking accurate
Hey Bill! Abso-fuckin-lutly do not ever, ever, ever stop doing what you do brother! You bring so much god damn joy to my life.
This man robbed a parking meter, then his whole life CHANGED.
In short, it wasn't a very CENTSible thing to commit on his behalf.
Now, he'll be serving a QUARTER of his life in jail.
😂
👍
dude would’ve knocked off the penny arcade but he thought the COPPERS might catch on to him
It's my understanding that they DON'T worry about it or feel guilty. I heard an interview with a retired wealth manager. She said that they truly believe that taxes are EVIL and government assistance stumps innovation and creativity and motivation. What I heard is that they convinced themselves of this to justify their own greed and selfishness so that they can sleep at night.
Stephanie Brown .... “they” are right. Government is the source of evil. Government assistance is the greatest source of deterrence to work ethic. We need a hand up not a hand out.
The Big Show if you look at the simple history of US emonomics, it contradicts everything you just said. Big Business becomes Big business with lots of govt help such as bailouts, subsidies, tax cuts, and lots of protectionism.
@@tecumseh821 .... Last I checked a corporation doesn't have a work ethic. There is a difference between corporate "welfare" and welfare to the population. If company A has the opportunity to build a factory, they shop for the best possible scenario for building it. Same as you buying a house. It makes tremendous sense for a government to provide the best possible financial incentive. Last I checked no one ever got a job from a factory that wasn't built. Low corporate tax=factory built=100's of jobs=equals good economy=strong tax base. I know they told you trickle down doesn't work, but they lied. It's literally how every system in the world works
@@thebigshow6102 you say in one sentence its a source of evil and then the next statement you say govt is necessary. Which one is it pal? Funny how people believe in the free market even know its proven thru historical evidence thats its never existed. Especially in the US and england
@@tecumseh821 .... Go read the original comment to which I responded. The poster was talking about taxation of individuals. YOU brought up corporate welfare. Two completely different things. Taxation of the people is evil. Corporate welfare is used to entice corporations to build a factory in a specific location. I didn't change nor conflate the topic, YOU did that. I'll debate either, pick one.
"Ahhhh, my fucking laptop!" 😂 Don't worry Bill just buy a new one and write it off!
Now his ass is gonna be PARKED in jail for a CHANGE.
Bill... the man that says out loud what everyone else is think ☺️
If every working class person sat down one day and looked at how much they actually pay in taxes there would be a revolution in this country.
Federal, State and Local Income Tax
Investment income taxes
Payroll Tax
Property Tax
Sales Tax
Gas Tax
Am I forgetting any? This is already insanity, because wages have not kept up with inflation, and now on top of that we have a pandemic.
Wait people who work dont know how much they pay in taxes?
A W2 couldnt make it any easier 😂
At the end of the year i always look at the right side even on my pay stub and see how much of Uncle Sam's pecker has intruded into my life -_-
@@nickh3809 the comment you replied to stated all the taxes, even the ones that have absolutely nothing to do with your paycheck. Reading is critical
17:33 schools are paid by property tax,
Roads are paid by gas tax,
Federal government doesn’t pay for new stadiums, they do however sometimes make them tax exempt.
Do state lotteries still fund education?
I lost in on "I guess I gotta drive a piece of shit now. What's the point of dealing drugs?"
My husband said he doesn't like listening to stuff with a lot of swearing. I said, if I gotta sit around listening to ET Canada and Murdoch Mysteries all day, we're gonna listen to some of MY stuff every once and a while.
Seems like someone needs a new husband :)
What a strange standard. Is your husband okay with softly worded ways of saying the same thing as a statement containing swearing?
Your husband has a vagina!
Is your husband my mother?
Love the MLB coach reference -- I used to have Earl Weaver's baseball card.
Do you want a kitty? I think you want to square up!
2 minutes in and I'm already laughing my balls off
He explained the money laundering beautifully
3:42 welcome :)
thanks Bill, you're my weekly 'Letter From America'.
Headline. Off them meter! (Appeals to the wippersnappas too) Haahaha
Right, because hurting people financially has no impact on their physical lives. Unless you're not rich. Causing Financial harm to people, most people, does impact them physically. It can damage their ability to pay their bills cause stress and lead them to not be able to feed themselves properly Etc. Sure this is more indirect but get real, we live by money so when you hurt people in their pocketbook you hurt them in more ways than just Financial.
And this is why capitalism is responsible for the exploitation and suffering of the working class. Under capitalism, in order for the wealthy to be comfortable, the rest of us must be uncomfortable.
I Love the intro to this podcast, Bill! So True! And so hilarious!
The Steve jobs comment at the end was GOLD!!!
The meter thief is a fuckin hero.
It IS fascinating!! Yoo, bill burr, totally agree on this one!!
- count your money
- don't blow it
- keep it simple
Tactile Therapy don’t spend it. Look at it count it and look at it
Well spoken from the ghetto Rat King himself
-be born with it
-fantastic last name
-live somewhere where things happen, have a good social system, preferably white
other than that, very likely fucked unfortunately
@@jl9641 someone’s lacking personal responsibility
Cars divided up to 5-7 years. A house is 20-30 years. So price of the vehicle divide by 7 and that’s what you can write off a year. Mileage is the best. You get more back if you travel. My mom is a CPA. I know a lot of the tax codes also been paying taxes since 15
You're killing it, Bill. I love your work and pirated all your material. Let me know when you're coming through Chicago again to do your stand-up, so I can come out and actually give you my money. I probably owe you something. lol
Thanks, man.
Another Redhead
5% tax free municipal bonds, pays you twice a year, if you invest enough
Live tax free forever
Where do you find high quality safe munibonds yielding that much?
You get a time machine and set it to 1983.
He doesn't get to the point of taxes until 3:50
you cant just watch for 4 mins lol why are you even watching bill burr if you’re literally looking for tax info 😂
Thank you
Actually, that’s when he starts talking about drug dealers and parking meters. He talks about taxes at 11:30.
Who gives a f*#k, you want tax info, talk to the f*#king IRS 😂
Two men in the UK would drive a van slowly down a street full of parking meters. Each time they past one the guy sitting on the back with the door open, would jump off, hit the bottom of the meter with an upward motion with a 5lb lump hammer and knock the entire meter off its pole. He would then throw the meter in the back of the van, sit back on the floor of the van and wait for the next one. They become so skilled they could clear a street in a matter of minutes. Strangely -- and I cannot imagine why -- despite being seen doing it by many people, no one thought to call the police.
Probably was one of the city council workers doing it then getting sales commission for getting new ones put in place
I love you and this podcast. Im from eastern Europe and considered a lower middle class. So i don't need to know this. But this sounds So BEAUTIFUL AND INTERESTING. Hope to get more content like this.
the most amazing thing about this podcast is that someone in the entertainment industry knows that 20 percent of 30k is 6k.
My thoughts.... I do quite a bit of simple math but he beat me to it lol
@@BenGilmore93 Yes, go to Walmart and ask people what's 20% of 30,000. What percent of them would say 6,000?
You can’t divide 30 by 5? It’s the multiplication table
Leo Getz did it.
laptop hitting the floor had me dying
Bill Burr is a living Legend!!
I've been a CPA for 17 years and seen some crazy shit. The current structure of different types of income having different rates including potential 0% on capital gains and dividends is immoral. Income is income. Your money isn't more important to you than mine is to me so tax it all the same rate.
Beenosteve So someone with an income where he barely gets by with should pay as much taxes as someone who has no material worries and makes several times as much?
A Rowing Fish technically, and morally, yes. If its a percentage then the rich would always pay more. I disagree with the laws that allow people to get out of taxes altogether. A person who works and pays taxes vs. a person who doesnt work and doesnt pay taxes but enjoys all the benefits. Thats immoral.
Jack Kerouac Morally? Do you even know what that word means? People like you enable rich people and corporations to live off of us, the poor and middle class people. Not the other way around. If someone gets wealthy in our society, then they should pay a lot more taxes. And that tax money should go directly to things that benefit poor and middle class people. The wealthy people will still be wealthy and better off than the rest of society. That would be moral.
Beenosteve they pay more taxes. Thats my whole point. It's immoral to steal from people whether you are rich or poor. Poor people dont pay taxes except sales tax. Rich people pay all the income taxes and capital gains taxes. Poor people may or may not "deserve" a handout and since when is it moral for for the government to be in charge of taking money from one person and deciding who gets its. Communisim and socialism is about as immoral as it gets...
Depending on how your income is structured, you might pay less - a lot less - if you're getting your income from investments such as municipal bonds, qualified dividends, capital gains, an inheritance, or an s-corp compared to someone getting the same amount of income on a W-2. Also, the transfers from rich to poor are peanuts compared to the transfers from the young to the old. The big government spending is on old people. Google capital gains tax rates before you spout off on something you don't know much about.
You are mad at capitalism.
"Who gives a fuck INC." Lmao
The thing is, the billionaires who play these games to avoid paying their taxes, to steal money from all of us, then finance politicians and news organisations to promote the idea that we are being ripped off by "welfare moms". As if a lady at the grocery store pulling her food stamp card out of her fancy gucci purse (or more likely a knock-off) is the real problem, instead of the guy riding in his own private jet, who has an army of servants to stock his mansion with gourmet food. Look at some of the ideas we here in political debate, and think about where those ideas some from.
Amishrobots6 Ofcourse they are - they don't have ALL the money yet. I think the knowledge that there is still money out there that isn't theirs keeps them up at night.
@@amishrobots
I love the idea that the money they earned belongs to "us" more than it does them
Truly the mentality of someone who has never built an income the IRS would give two shits about
@@somguy5035 and the guy who replies to my comments on youtube is probably "earning" billions of dollars? You're on the same side of wealth gap canyon as me, even if your tent is a little bigger than mine.
He explained a deduction and differentiated it from a tax credit.
He said Hilary looked like Earl Weaver😂😂😂
Rich people pay more in taxes in one year than most will make in their whole lifes.
No they dont fool
@@delete.102 Yeah they really do.
@@Josephguestable no the smart ones dont and use out of country bank or use front buisness like laundry mat so not only do criminal use front buisness but the rich do also to avoid high taxes so the ones who pay get write offs
@@executiveorder7146 ex wife did our local billionaire's taxes one year he paid 147 million . 100 times what the average person will make in a life time in one year.
Bill burr is the George Carlin of my generation
Carlin had a mastery of the English language like few others. I talk to guys like Burr all the time over pints.
Na.... George Carlin is on another level.
Best explanation of Money Laundering ever
Back in the days of pay phones we used to stuff a sock up into the change chute....wait a few days/weeks and then head back there with a coat hanger and fish the sock and the loot out....BAM....Archie comics, footy cards, Gold Medal and fish 'n' chips....
Go to Bill Burr for your tax advice
he will give better tax advice than wesley snipes. lol
..his crime wave has finally "Expired"
Before my screen goes dark. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Fucking love ur shit!
I think in most places you can't write off a capital (balance sheet) item. It's the depreciation, maintenance and finance costs that can go into the profit and loss account.