Bill Burr - Women Revenge Stories
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
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Bill Burr is an American stand-up comedian, writer, actor, and podcaster who has released several stand-up comedy specials. Outside of stand-up comedy, he is known for hosting the Monday Morning Podcast, playing Patrick Kuby in the AMC crime drama series Breaking Bad, and creating and starring in the Netflix animated sitcom F Is for Family.
"If you did this as a guy you would literally be in a prison shower with half a mop handle trying to fight off 5 rapists".😂😂😂😂😂
6 if you count the broomhandle
And then people say stuff like "If government was mostly women there would be no war".
It’s the perfect example. What they actually mean is: “If government were mostly women, they would all say “if women were in control of everything there would be world peace””. The only thing their hypothesis proves is how self gratifying and arrogant women are, but how they are unable to accomplish even a fraction of what they believe they could. If women were in charge all they would do would be bitching and moaning and still fantasize about how good they could do things - without actually doing so when they have the opportunity.
Nope... No war... Cause the would nuke everyone once a month until there was no one left to war with.
@@odinsplaygrounds spot on mate
zweck4629
cuz war requires thinking and logic
@@odinsplaygrounds I got into an argument with some dumb bitch a couple years ago running with the bullshit cliche claim that women can do anything men can do. At the time I was doing some concrete work and had a few 80 lbs bags of concrete in the garage. So I told her to move all those bags out to the backyard for me so I wouldn't have to do it in the morning. She was actually dumb and ignorant enough to try, and failed to lift one off of the ground, let alone carry it out to the backyard. Instead of admitting defeat she did what women do and set blame on everything and anything else other than herself. Her big claim to fame argument was that having 80 lbs bags of concrete is part of the patriarchy and discrimination against women. And then she started questioning me as to why is there a need to supply concrete in 80 lbs bags? Why not supply them in 20 lbs bags? Yeah! That's how fucking dumb and delusional women are. Men never intentionally made 80 lbs bags of concrete for the sole purpose to keep women away. It's the fact that an 80 lb bag of concrete can go a long way and instead of buying 100 bags all you need is 25 bags. It has shit all to do with being a barrier against women. 80 lbs bags of concrete is the natural way to effectively and efficiently get a small concrete job done and most women do not have the strength to perform the job. She was still was either too dumb to understand or too stubborn to admit defeat. But that's what the 1st world is up against right now. A bunch of delusional and batshit insane crazy women who refuse to accept who and what they are and be happy with that. Women who have led happy lives are the ones who were married for 40-60 years with some kids and some grandkids and were great at being mothers and raising the next generation. A very difficult and important job. But feminism brainwashed women into thinking that motherhood is for losers. What a joke.
"I think you should just let that one go there sweetheart..." the way Bill said that was amazing
9:47
It felt so nice and kind.
Joshua Pulliam sex
lmfao
I imagine this girl was probably ugly looking and humiliated for a good week atleast so its great revenge for just losing some guy who was ready to cheat anyways and the charges were dropped so I think the girl is looking at this the wrong way this dude is shallow and probably viewed this girl way differently for a while when she was all fucked up and probably even cheated on her and will still do it to this day I dont see how she won
The thing that disturbs me the most about the dye story is how the chick still think she’s in the right somehow
She literally sexually assaulted her. Some people are awful, that was hard to listen to she deserves to be in jail.
@NPC 420 that was great advice, no joke.
@NPC 420 I have been in this hole for a month and in India it's way more fucked up. So that's a very good advice of yours.
Shouldn’t you be trying to end the war?
@@Duke_Sen_Voldigoad and do a lot of time, or at least live with the stigma of having throttled a bitch. I respect that view on what a bitch did, but as Billy Burr has stated, the ref only sees the retaliation. @NPC 420 was telling a peaceful truth, it's just better to fucking walk.
“In revenge and in love woman is more barbarous than man”.
-Nietzsche
@The REAL Marco Polo1 i guess you're not familiar with Jodi Arias
"And the charges were dropped"... said no man in that situation, EVER!!!
Lmao bill : Hail to the winner: Gail’s boyfriend
"Yeah you got molested. WHO DIDN'T?"
LOL
Go write some fucking jokes!
Just a reminder: Those women never faced an actual sentence or any criminal charges that weren't dropped. Think about that for a moment. Those people are out there right now.
I think the pubic hair part... That might be illegal.
Dreamboat MacGillicutty ,I blame the bicycle.
@Dreamboat MacGillicutty ahh... let's take it back a few steps there eh buddy
Yeah, that's why they were ARRESTED. Arse.
"if you did that as a guy, you would be in a prison shower with a mop shower fighting off 5 rapists" Truth.
Still hilarious
"Anybody else getting creeped out here."
i sure did. idk i started feeling bad for the "lightning bolt pubic hair" girl
WilliamR meeee
"Hey bill so its me the girl from five years ago. well i ended up burying her body with the unborn fetus stuck to her mouth down a ditch next to my house. im sure nobody's gonna find it! this is such a hilarious story, that CUNT got what she deserved. har har har har"
The dye story is disturbing. And Bill is right, if the gender roles were reversed, the guy would be looking at a long prison sentence.
if a guy did that to another guy they would be beat the fck up
@@warriorfortruth2838 like the girl in the story?
Watch the video, comment slug.
Yeah, that's assault, what they did.
Vilesentry bit more serve than getting hit with a shampoo bottle
No the other if it was 2 guys the one with dyed hair would be getting tried for murder
I can't understand how anyone could be this sociopathic. I've had messy breakups too, I just never speak to them again and that's it.
Some people like the over the top, nasty, vindictive, break ups. Why?? No fuckin clue, but some folks definitely enjoy the drama.
We're all capable of doing this and worse.
Justa Bunneh exactly
Yeah well , people tend to fuck with the wrong girls , here’s my story Yeah I did that , my bff slept with my first love and I was still dating him , so the guy she loved who broke her heart , I first ( wait this makes me smile just thinking about it hahahaha ) ok so first , I told her that I forgive her , and she invited me to a party that night so of course I had a couple of friends come with me , I did not drink anything , she ended up going into the bedroom to have sex with some guy who knew what was about to happen ( he’s such a team player lol ) we robbed her ( yes we did ) and she was on the year book team or whatever at work so I took her only year book from high school ( she spelled my name wrong in the year book on purpose , bitch and also took a pic with my boyfriend and her boyfriend and posted it in the year book , cunt . ) after we robbed her , the next day I fucked her love of her life who dumped her and then left a note at her door telling her everything I did ... hahhahahhaha she never did anything about it lol but she was pretty damn hurt and I loved it , Lesson ::::: don’t fuck with me
@DMO Enterprises why do you hate getting pussy? You guys are fucking losers lol
"We almost got kicked out of school. Like OMG, it was a really big deal."
Literally if a man did that WITH CONSENT and she had second thoughts, he would be in prison for 10+ years, a registered sex offender, unable to vote, own a firearm, or leave the country for the rest of his life.
The audacity of most women continues to blow my mind
lol give me a break. you know how many men _actually_ do that kind of time for sexual assault? in america? let’s just say, not very many 😮💨
@@firstnamelastname-vt6et You're comparing apples and oranges, dumb bimbo. So if the man did that with concent he should go to jail to make up for the men who actually committed crimes, even though he's innocent? That's how stupid you sound. Good thing you're not a judge.
“hey uh anytime you want to teach her a lesson again...” 😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂
Jesus Christ and they talk about toxic masculinity! WTF
Really makes you think.
Yeah I did that , my bff slept with my first love and I was still dating him , so the guy she loved who broke her heart , I first ( wait this makes me smile just thinking about it hahahaha ) ok so first , I told her that I forgive her , and she invited me to a party that night so of course I had a couple of friends come with me , I did not drink anything , she ended up going into the bedroom to have sex with some guy who knew what was about to happen ( he’s such a team player lol ) we robbed her ( yes we did ) and she was on the year book team or whatever at work so I took her only year book from high school ( she spelled my name wrong in the year book on purpose , bitch and also took a pic with my boyfriend and her boyfriend and posted it in the year book , cunt . ) after we robbed her , the next day I fucked her love of her life who dumped her and then left a note at her door telling her everything I did ... hahhahahhaha she never did anything about it lol but she was pretty damn hurt and I loved it , Lesson ::::: don’t fuck with me
@@mykiea5156 /rthathappen
@@mykiea5156 this is a guys forum. Don't revel in your crazy
women dont have any unwritten code
"Yeah, that will show her. Flip over, then I'll busted it on your face" hahahahaha.
The dye job was assault.
Vex T not in Canada. That’s considered sexual assault. Battery doesn’t exist over here they both mean the same thing and get the same penalty. Although you’re right as this video is about people that live in the US
no, but the dying of the pubes, yeah that's sexual assult. A man would have spent 3 years in prison for that.
It was assault up until the pubic lightning part, then it was classified as sexual assault.
Listening to these stories really make me scared of being alone with any women.
Facts how could she think that was funny
Yep
"This is your world, I'm just here to help!" That killed me.
I love bill’s impression of a guy trying to lie
It’s funny that the dye story is 100% told from the bad guy. She has no idea she’s the villain in the story.
I've had so many female friends, acquaintances, coworkers f*ck me over in various ways (mostly subtle and/or underhanded.) It's not easy finding a true female friend where I live, at least in my case. In my experience there is more a sense of sisterhood when I travel outside the U.S to the mid east where I have family. My mother is a nightmare, one of the most manipulative, cold-hearted people I've ever known. I could tell you some stories Bill! The reason I'm not offended and actually appreciate your points about women is because of the experiences of my life. Relating to your ranting and raving is actually therapeutic for me. It can be a lonely life when you're not willing to pander and play their shallow games and are willing to cut people off. I'd rather be me than competitive, jealous, insecure and potentially popular. 😂 I'm none of those things and I'm proud of it. It's a blessing! Although being a somewhat outcast of society has it's downfalls, it does afford you perspective. More women need to support and care and accept each other in the true sense of the word rather than the fake ra ra bull sh*t you see today which is only a means for competition on an even larger scale. I'm not saying all women but I am saying the majority. If only they could find beauty and worth within themselves, they wouldn't be so deceptive and hurtful to others. I love how you call out the hypocrisy in our society, by woman and man. Keep doing what you do best Bill. I'm a big fan for that reason! Sincerely, Diana
I luv what you say here!
@@blueskies6475 Thanks! Be well. 🧡
Women dont have real friends -Patrice Oneal
rip patrice.
Baptist Christian Stoic dude you really gotta get laid
Prestige Worldwide Why?He is right you know?If getting laid will change his opinion to something further than the truth,why would he do it?
Anon anon, further from what "truth"? What antiquated "truth" are you discerning? I postulate that the "truth" to which you speak depends on grievous generalizations and contradictory standards on how the patriarchy stifles equitable conditions between men and women.
into the VoID my friend that calls me her best friend purposely tries to attract my boyfriend. I know how she behaves around men and around just women.
women get caught black handed, charges dropped
ihatecrackhead good one lol
black
this comment has 69 likes. i shall keep it that way.
LMAO
its red-handed..
"It looked like an octopus had been raped."
Hearing analogies like this really completes my week
fucking hysterical
When really just a human had been raped
🐙
'Looked like an Octopus had been raped in there', I almost spat out my drink haha.
Gotta love bill for being able to bring these things to light with some solid, serious insight, while at the same time tossing out killer jokes and somehow making them work.
clearly she commited a crime but yet still thinks she is in the right it is sad and pathetic.
That is the definition of a psychopath.
Immaturity
The dye story still hits me from time to time. I always have to come back and listen to it
Yeah it’s fucked
11:16 I feel like I just got a quick glimpse into Bill blurr 😭 Subtle and respected brother. I feel you bill. So many people use personal tragedy to make excuses for being cruel to other people. But you know what. There’s so many of us, that have had the same hurts and we do our best to “make jokes” or just not turn into a monster ourselves.
"I'm just here to help" had me rolling on the floor.
fairly sure i've been revenge banged.
if you're out there.
clean your room.
So what happened lol
For sure
Dad?
This is just disturbing these people should be going to jail
Scott Diehl yeah I believe that’s illegal for sure
@@benjaminodinakaHOODKIZK the dye story is sexual assault
Want to impress a comedian with a revenge story? Tell them about getting a flight cancelled.
I've been to a few airports many times, I can confirm that it's not the place you want to stay in for very long
I’ve worked in an office with women. Jesus Christ! They are exactly like this. So nasty. Absolutely hate them
John Smith these stories are horrific! I come from a traditional Latin catholic upbringing and I would never do this stuff especially not over a guy. Then again I was very selective on what kind of men I would go on a date with. These women sleeping with these men for revenge is just as sad. The best revenge is being your best and walking away unaffected.
I worked in a department where i was the only guy and the women would constantly say the meanest things behind their backs and there was 2 times where one tried to sleep with anothers bf. One of them succesed which resulted in all kinds of drama including slashing of tires and having to have several meeting where we all had to gather around and share our feelings while everyone cried.
When Bill said street names, I thought he meant like T-Bone, Paco, or Diesel.
Him saying that the boyfriend would be in the bed telling Jess “yeah, throw that ass on me, that’ll show her!” Made me spit out my OJ and reminded me i am listening to a professional comedian.
I'm telling you woman are brutal lol
Brutal? Meh. Creative? Mildly. Relentless? You gawd damn right!
Woman can't just punch someone, so they scheme.
We are .., Yeah I did that , my bff slept with my first love and I was still dating him , so the guy she loved who broke her heart , I first ( wait this makes me smile just thinking about it hahahaha ) ok so first , I told her that I forgive her , and she invited me to a party that night so of course I had a couple of friends come with me , I did not drink anything , she ended up going into the bedroom to have sex with some guy who knew what was about to happen ( he’s such a team player lol ) we robbed her ( yes we did ) and she was on the year book team or whatever at work so I took her only year book from high school ( she spelled my name wrong in the year book on purpose , bitch and also took a pic with my boyfriend and her boyfriend and posted it in the year book , cunt . ) after we robbed her , the next day I fucked her love of her life who dumped her and then left a note at her door telling her everything I did ... hahhahahhaha she never did anything about it lol but she was pretty damn hurt and I loved it , Lesson ::::: don’t fuck with me
Bitches be crazy
@@mykiea5156 lol so arrogant about being a bitch
I worked as an RN for 30 years and heard numerous stories similar to this one. Sickening, especially when you can't leave the room.
met this girl that told me she had revenge on her ex when she found out he was cheating on her..
she convinced him that they should get matching couples tattoos...
the guy went first, she pretended to answer her phone and stepped outside, went home, got all her stuff and bounced on his ass....
TBH i didnt believe her till i actually met the dude and saw the tattoo w/her initial
That's badass hahaha. She got him good. Wonder if he learned his lesson 🤣
Thats brutal
A girl I dated lied about spending a ton of my money. I dropped her off at work, packed up a uhaul and called her later to tell her she had no ride and a vacant house.
That dye story is insane and those girls absolutely violated the attractive lady and they should have been put in jail.
4:00 "..even if you could beat the guy normally the level of anger means he'd probably win. Does that make sense?"
It makes perfect bloody sense!!
i think jordan peterson put it best, or at least i heard it best explained from him:
basically, men and women are both agressive. guys get their agression out physically, like a fistfight or something, and women, not being so physical, take out their agression in other ways...
I'm a revenge F right now and she thinks I don't know. I'm keeping my mouth shut and enjoying it!
Good luck with the clap 👍
Bill is the winner for being able to find humor in everything
Dear Auntie Bill...this is awesome stuff here, keep it coming!
Definitely creeped out Bill.
the dye hair story was just amazing. Truly amazing. This is what happens when you retaliate too much and over react. The pretty girl isn't just good looking, she is smart.
as for the final one: that boy needs to run. Like its funny, but lets be real...you're dating her...run bro
"incase you got lost in that" had me dyin cuz i did so bad lmao thanks for the clarification
3:25 had me laughing beyond my control
Bahahaha “Oh I just thought he was a baker...” lol
The dye story holy shit. The fact that she turned it around and still came out looking good to the chagrin of her attacker just makes it satisfying. Look there's petty revenge and straight up assault. And she seemed so stewed that her punishment seemed too harsh. And that's just downright disturbing. Bill made the right call. Let it go and be happy your punishment wasn't as severe it could've been.
Had an beautiful woman in my life. We declared love. she said I was to nice. We parted. I saw her years later 75 lbs heavier, divorced .twice..I was polite but moved on. Pure justice.
At least she didn’t leave you for your grammar.
Jesus I thought I was bad I just leave grammar completely out. 😅
But yea payback for sure.
Omg that second one! So let me get this straight. They assaulted a girl with hair dye when she was drunk and the perpetrator thinks the victim surviving and thriving afterwards and sticking up for herself by calling security is some kind of awful revenge story!? It’s called consequences. Those tend to happen when you do stupid shit.
"You need a hobby at that point!" 😂😂😂
Love your podcast subjects, you always make my day laughing at this shit
“Yea that’ll show her” lmfaoooo
Bill got a good point, Pimps gets done for living off immoral earnings, so why not gangsters wives
When I was in high school a girl in my grade got a brand new truck from her parents and would park in 2 spots. I would usually show up later than most and the senior parking lot would be pretty much full, but I was so close to the time if I parked farther away I'd be late. For class. So the first day this gets in my way I park half on the curb and half in one of the spots she's in, inches from her driver door, I folded in my mirror to get as close as possible. She didn't get the memo and kept taking up two spots, so the next day I let the air out of one of her tires.she finally figured it out after she had to leave her truck there overnight and stopped parking in 2 spots
Strict probation? Wow, that’s tough.
"I'm just throwin' those things out there" lol
the thunderbolt actually soumds pretty hot
haha yea
Weldon Hanson I agree but it was horrible
I'm thinking she kept it when she went all black
An arrow pointing south.
Lol sounds like a Quagmire thing
i remember listening to these in 2019 the summer before heading off to college, the nostalgia…
I would have pressed charges against anyone who messed with my “area” while I was sleeping. What a creepy person!
As a man, I would done ten years for that “revenge”
Has anyone reading this ever met someone named Gail who wasn't fat?
Same with women named Tanya
She was skinny but a bitch
Yes! When I was 19, my best friend lived in an apartment building and there was a girl next door named Gail who was actually really cute. She was like 17, tall and skinny, with really long, dark brown hair. I wanted to go out with her so bad, and we used to talk all the time, but I had a pretty serious gf at the time, so nothing ever came of it.
Yes, girl in grade below me named Gale is slinny
7:30 "Is it funny? " no it's HILARIOUS.
LAUGH OUT LOUD, FANTASTIC.
2:55 - 3:35
I am dying
I am fucking sick of the overuse of "I'm dying". Fucking knock it off!
@@4Mikes4Mindset4 I´m dying when people who get offended are offended.
I have never even done an act of revenge ive always just walked away.
Glad I've discovered Bill Burr. Devon UK .
How's Josh Widdicombe
doing?
This man is a comedy guru I swear😂😭😭
Chicks literally go through life on “Easy” mode. They dye her entire body and not a single charge against them.
Yeah
*hot chicks. If they're not hot then life is actually much harder cause one of their main leverage points is instantly gone
Red Wolf Ehhhhhhh No. Marriage Court, Domestic Violence Disputes, Court Ordered Sentences/Fines, Traffic Laws, and many other aspects of society are greatly tipped in favor of a female for the simple fact that she has a pair of titties and a coochie. Regardless of how buttery her mug is.
@@allaroundamazing7007 But then swing it in the other direction: periods and every thing you have to deal with and buy for it, menopause, always having the fear of getting raped or assaulted, getting scammed at the mechanic, scammed with tech stuff, getting catcalled, they have to spend more for less, they make $.98 to the dollar of a man, and every date they go on is an extreme risk, VERY often a man can day your idea louder and take credit (or not even consider it at all) but need I go further? It's hard to be a woman, and (hopefully) a man loves his girl enough to take on some of that burden along with his own and protect them because their girl loves them too and are amazing at being compassionate. I agree it's incredibly annoying when they're trying to find something to be mad about or find something to hold against you, but its temporary and at the end of the day your girl loves you and wouldnt want to hurt you (assuming you have some self respect and dont date with your dick).
@@redwolf9455 periods is not a valid argument, it's literaly a natural thing, pay gap is an equaly bullshit argument, everyone is responsible for their own pay, if you don't open your mouth and ask for a raise you have no valid reason to complain. as for the rest, the big difference is that what you are complaining about is a crime and heavily frowned upon by society while all the shit that women get away with is just accepted by society
God lord that lightning bolt shit was ridiculous man.
I like how they gang up on their unsuspecting victims. Gives me them Goodfellas vibes :)
My brother got fired from his job once, completely unjustified at least in his eyes. As an act of revenge, he took a shit in the kettle, in the staff room, and filled it up with water.
That's how guys do it 🤣
😂😂😂
When a man acts, he understands very well that his actions can and will escalate to a physical altercation. As a result, he chooses to either disregard and continue, or stop it right then and there. Women do not have this intricate understanding of physical consequences. For them, in vengeance, the more evil and vindictive the act, the more rewarding they believe it will be. The difference lies in the fundamental logical processes in the initial phase. Women allow emotion to bypass this process, and moreover, it is deemed societally acceptable, as women do not generally pose a major physical threat to other humans.
That second one sounded like a first draft of a pilot.
Not cool -- dying an unconscious person's hair.
Finest Kind I dont do that prank shit. I will wake someone up with my fists for that type of shit. Fucking children.
Phillip Adams
I’m with it. Pranks, especially those fuckin with people when they’re sleeping, are a no go for me.
That chic is crazy. If someone did that to me id end up in jail.
hair is one thing, stripping someone while they are unconscious, and touching their pubic area even just to dye it, that is straight up sexual assault. i'm surprised that she was surprised that the girl call the cop on her. what did you expect? you and your gang hold her down and strip her off while she was drunk. why are you so surprised that she call the cop on that? i'm pretty sure she deserve jail at that point solely based on that, even without the dyeing part.
haha it was very funny
Bill is great.
im dying
Thank you!!!! I’m glad bill brought up how the sentence would of been different if the girls were guys in the second one..
after this, I know believe eve tried to put the blame on Adam in front of god.
Dye chick with the comeback of the century
When a man dose revenge its for one night' when a woman dose revenge its forever....!
Taken from the chronicle's of Mr Bisket
3:28 --- LOLOL
Bill you should do a bit about the mob boss wife scenario. Funny how a woman can cook and clean for husband while he builds his business and when they divorce she gets half but a mob boss wife suddenly had nothing to do with the business
I like the Bobby lee reference at 11:16 🤣🤣🤣
If you ever need to get back at a roommate, put hot sauce on their lips while they sleep. Just a little so they don't wake up. In the morning, it will have burned through their skin and hurt like the worst chapped lips they've ever had.
James Thomas LMAO that's some diabolical Shit!
Noted. Thanks.
Creep
“I’m just here to help” 😂😂😂😂 that’s gold
Wait did Bill just talk about him being molested as a child at 11:18 ? I'm not familiar with Bill's history, but that is really sad if it's true.
Billy Spears hi think he meant the “rough childhood” thing.
Who wasn't? If you don't recall, think a bit harder.
@@Koch-Locke Noel Gallagher occasionally talks about the daily beatings he got as a child but adds "What people don't realise is that it was the same beating all my friends were getting as well, it was bad but in those days it was normal"
@@Koch-Locke it's usually when folk ask if it informed his songwriting, but he says it hasn't affected his adulthood at all because it was pretty much like getting a row from the teacher, pretty standard because everyone he knew was getting it, whereas nowadays, luckily, that type of behaviour is less common
Listening to Bill read is hard.
The revenge thing happens way more than you think - I've been the new person in the situation twice :) Honestly it sounds better than it is
the dye story… the beautiful girl didn’t get “revenge”, she did the normal thing which was report that she was ASSAULTED. she showed remarkable restraint, especially when the law didn’t even stand up for her! and yet still the ugly girl wants revenge for that so-called “revenge”!! unbelievable levels of solipsism
These revenge stories are not funny they are sadistic!
When seeking revenge, don't forget to dig two graves.
The dye thing is scary
2:33 read my mind
Look up the saying, “nurses eat their young.”
The audacity of the second girl to sleep I'm the same room after the deed.
Lmao right she is lucky she woke up
The only time anyone has slept with me is to get over someone else. So I kinda feel that
There's a difference between getting over someone and getting BACK at someone.