WOLFENSTEIN (Zero Punctuation)

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  • Опубликовано: 18 окт 2024
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    This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Wolfenstein.
    Fast-talking Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw reviews a new game each week in this animated series that combines informed critique with cutting humor. Watch the next episode of Zero Punctuation a week early, only on The Escapist.
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Комментарии • 1,3 тыс.

  • @DataProwler
    @DataProwler 9 лет назад +2890

    Many critics like to complain
    But their styles are fairly mundane
    Not even cheap wine
    Just half-assed moonshine
    While Yahtzee's are more like champagne

    • @timebomb4562
      @timebomb4562 9 лет назад +8

      +DataProwler yeah boy

    • @theepicduck6922
      @theepicduck6922 8 лет назад +1

      +bloodstone ore their imps

    • @rubykelly2305
      @rubykelly2305 8 лет назад +26

      +bloodstone ore Listen close old Bloodstone and you will see
      How things were, now are and still will be
      I'd like to intone
      That atop Yahtzee's dome
      Is not a fedora, but a trilby
      I know it sucks, but I just wanted to throw this together. Do you know how hard it is to find things that rhyme with trilby?

    • @bloodstoneore4630
      @bloodstoneore4630 8 лет назад +1

      Ruby Kelly noice!

    • @marchofmisfits4836
      @marchofmisfits4836 8 лет назад +2

      noice

  • @NoTimeNoEffort
    @NoTimeNoEffort 8 лет назад +251

    Man, remember when an FPS with wizard nazis, crazy monsters, a wide range of weird weapons that shoot lightning and lasers and shit was considered common and unremarkable? If only we knew in 2009 how fucking far the genre would fall.

  • @Gryfer00
    @Gryfer00 10 лет назад +324

    In case anyone didn't notice, the credits are a limerick as well:
    His unique reviewing technique
    Is to speak with unbridled critique
    But if there's one thing he hates
    It's postponed release dates
    So Arkham Asylum is next week.

  • @android19willpwn
    @android19willpwn 11 лет назад +1531

    That was the greatest thing I've ever seen.

    • @dankmoo
      @dankmoo 10 лет назад +69

      I want to like your comment, but the number is so perfect.

    • @Parsifal1107
      @Parsifal1107 10 лет назад +31

      When I first read your comment, I was thinking- this guy hasn't seen alot of great things. Then I watched the video.....

    • @riskymotions487
      @riskymotions487 10 лет назад +13

      My friend linked it to me and i was like well it'll probably be mildly funny with a punch line at the end like the rest of his vidoes. then i watched the video.

    • @bos7522
      @bos7522 10 лет назад +10

      I have yet to come across a Yahtzee critique which doesn't give me a comic erection. The boner I got from watching this one got me close enough to almost seek medical help, as advised on Viagra packs.

    • @Δημήτρης-θ7θ
      @Δημήτρης-θ7θ 3 года назад +2

      I was like "Did I just watch a limerick about all the cliches in FPS games?"
      One thing I love about Yahtzee is his ability to take a fairly mundane review such as Wolfenstein or the new Call of Duty: Modern Warfare and turn it into something else.

  • @jasonwilkes8821
    @jasonwilkes8821 5 лет назад +322

    I myself don't really know
    How my life has sunk quite this low
    On a video site
    At half gone midnight
    Watching stuff from eights years ago.
    I could always recall the review
    Even long after t'was new
    I found it endearing
    Each rhyme I was hearing
    And my mind seems to think so too.
    So while my eyes unto me are now scorning
    I sit here near one in the morning
    I want this to run
    Long after 'tis done
    So I find myself here still encoring.
    My memories have yet to fade
    Despite the time passed since 'twas made
    Unlike other reviews
    That I have since viewed
    The impact of this one has stayed.
    As I lie here in my old bed
    And though this comment may never be read
    Though it's been eight years
    I've been driven to tears.
    For the video won't leave my head.

    • @stealthpanther
      @stealthpanther 5 лет назад +16

      Beautiful! And my sentiments as well

    • @alttabris1046
      @alttabris1046 4 года назад +13

      I wish I could like this more than once.

    • @andrazprelec8263
      @andrazprelec8263 3 года назад +4

      Just wow

    • @Klick404
      @Klick404 Год назад +18

      I find many comments inane
      And most of them feel quite the same
      It's just crappy jokes
      From dim-witted folks
      But yours left me quite entertained

  • @GriffinPilgrim
    @GriffinPilgrim 10 лет назад +437

    There was some comments I read today,
    Who replied in a predictable way,
    But can't quite complain,
    Without catching some blame,
    Because I did the same thing so okay.

  • @TotalAnimeFreak456
    @TotalAnimeFreak456 8 лет назад +758

    Quite often it fills me with glee
    When with Yahtzee's views I agree
    Makes me doubt my perception
    When I hit an exception
    Like horror and JRPG's :/

    • @Invictus901
      @Invictus901 8 лет назад +73

      Massive bonus points for actually getting the meter right.

    • @TheAdamant94
      @TheAdamant94 7 лет назад +15

      INVICTUS it's bloody annoying seeing everyone miss a syllable each line! The comments section is a nightmare. Thank god someone seems to know what a limerick is!

  • @HwoDragon
    @HwoDragon 10 лет назад +448

    There once was a man from Peru
    Who expressed himself all in Haikus
    He wrote up a rhyme
    That was ever so sublime
    This ain't a limerick

    • @Morec0
      @Morec0 9 лет назад +25

      Well now I don't know what to believe...

    • @onurubu
      @onurubu 9 лет назад +3

      Last line has 6 syllables

    • @HwoDragon
      @HwoDragon 9 лет назад +9

      Also it doesn't rhyme and it's not a limerick.

    • @longdong1622
      @longdong1622 9 лет назад +13

      HwoDragon There once was a man from Nantucket . Who said take this bucket and fuck it . That is all.

    • @mickyisherenow
      @mickyisherenow 9 лет назад +1

      HwoDragon That's fine.

  • @OCMOOO
    @OCMOOO 10 лет назад +457

    I can't stop rewatching all videos. Help me. I have no self-control.

    • @0100-j9l
      @0100-j9l 10 лет назад +60

      There's no use fighting it, we're all in it.. Give yourself..

    • @hetaliarose123
      @hetaliarose123 10 лет назад +17

      Join us...
      Nyu~

    • @ronaldduttweiler9529
      @ronaldduttweiler9529 7 лет назад +1

      El Mooo just wanted you to know that I came here because he referenced the limericks in a later video

    • @miamiwendigo
      @miamiwendigo 6 лет назад

      Nitjer do any of us also this is the a bad vide

    • @cooont2281
      @cooont2281 6 лет назад +1

      It only gets worse when you find the completion videos

  • @flashgmaing2967
    @flashgmaing2967 8 лет назад +250

    When I look in the comments I snicker
    'cause all people do is just bicker
    They scream and they shout
    and then they storm out
    without realizing it makes them look thicker

    • @SAHOYT71013
      @SAHOYT71013 8 лет назад +10

      I guess you could say they were...
      triggered

    • @flashgmaing2967
      @flashgmaing2967 8 лет назад +2

      OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    • @holydoggo4822
      @holydoggo4822 8 лет назад +3

      mmmmm.... thicker

    • @Shadethewolfy
      @Shadethewolfy 5 лет назад

      What's bad about being thicc
      Thicc people get lots of dicc
      Look at my eyes
      and say you don't want these thighs
      come on, what are you, a hick?
      (edited to fix flow issues)

  • @alaeriia01
    @alaeriia01 10 лет назад +148

    The thing that I most often dread
    Is the way that these games seem to head.
    It's a linear crawl
    Broken by chest-high walls
    So I think I'll play Skyrim instead.

    • @Tobygamesiscool
      @Tobygamesiscool 9 лет назад +1

      Nah, skyrim just has walls many times larger than you
      Their called mountains
      Oh this was posted 11 months ago?
      This isn't a limerick fuck you too

    • @Alaeriia
      @Alaeriia 9 лет назад

      +Uhryeehs Skyrim ain't linear.

    • @Tobygamesiscool
      @Tobygamesiscool 9 лет назад +1

      I didn't say it was I'm just saying as far invisible walls go

    • @bratplapper
      @bratplapper 9 лет назад +4

      +Alex Snitzer Skyrim is the same as the others
      Just masked in some different covers
      At the end of the day
      Your quest will still say
      "Go in this dungeon and kill some more Draugr"

  • @NoyzBot
    @NoyzBot 10 лет назад +54

    I keep coming back to this review because it amuses me to no end when people put an extra theme on a review to make it interesting and limerick was the perfect choice here!

  • @hyperx72
    @hyperx72 9 лет назад +75

    A fan had animated this,
    which I thought would turn out like piss.
    But then I found out
    its without a doubt
    one of the greater fan-works to exist.

    • @aztn19
      @aztn19 2 года назад +3

      Who animated this?

    • @hyperx72
      @hyperx72 2 года назад +5

      @@aztn19 KDanielsS

  • @spagetti001
    @spagetti001 8 лет назад +210

    this is pretty fucking genius.

  • @Flameanzer
    @Flameanzer 9 лет назад +98

    HOLY SHIT HE ACTUALLY RATED A GAME!!!

    • @WanderingIdiot81
      @WanderingIdiot81 9 лет назад +12

      +Flameanzer Hooray! Now Meta critic can finally start a Zero Punctuation page.

  • @RevoltLarzWolfblade
    @RevoltLarzWolfblade 9 лет назад +470

    In the tumultuous time before D-Day, There once was a man named BJ. With chocolate box hair, And a face like a bear, And a jacket he picked up on eBay.
    He was out one day murdering Germans, As they tried to enact London’s Burning. He beat up some dudes, And broke missile tubes, So their boat got blown up, that’ll learn ‘em!
    But while there he made the discovery, That the Nazis had powers like no other-y. He bought back a bangle, With some mystical angle, To which the Allies responded, “Oh, buggery!”
    At the secret service of Queen LizzieBJ’s, bosses find themselves in a tizzy. So they stand up and shout, “BJ, sort this all out! “We’d do it ourselves, but we’re busy.”
    So he’s sent to a big German town, Where some serious shit’s going down. There’s an active resistance, In need of assistance, And everything’s gone greyish-brown.
    It soon becomes clear that the city, Has been invaded by occult committees: Mystical preachers, And slavering creatures, And gymnasts with stonking great titties.
    You may wonder if this is a sequel, To some past Wolfenstein, or a prequel. Depicting our hero, In a previous Era, When he wasn’t looked upon as an equal.
    It’s actually meant to succeed, Return to Castle Wolfenstein’s lead. Which is pretty damn slow, ‘Cause that was eight years ago, And the memories have gone stale indeed.
    The new Wolfenstein seeks to enthrall, With an ongoing high-octane brawl. But it’s a game about war, That we’ve all seen before, And just like the title adds fuck all.
    Any pretense of freshness is gone, At the very outset of Stage One. You escape your pursuers, Via underground sewers, So we start as we mean to go on.
    Your gun is of course your best friend, On which you must always depend. When you get into fights, You can look down the sights, And bullets come out of the end.
    Weapon choice doesn’t start too exciting: Two machine guns, a rifle for sniping. But later on, BFGsComing with guarantees, To shoot various flavours of lightning.
    There are soldiers all over the place, Who can’t take two shots to the face. But before you pour scorn,They always respawn, At a pretty disquieting pace.
    You don’t need to worry about health; If you’re retarded and lousy at stealth. Just get behind cover, If you’re in a bother, And it will all come back by itself.
    It won’t help you avoid the bumrape, Later on when you get into scrapes. With powerful blasters, And big armoured bastard, With weak points the size of a grape.
    To help out, you have on your side, Magic spells that some crystals provide. On the appropriate cue The world turns greenish-blue, So it looks like your monitor’s died.
    You can take down the big lads in minutes, Start a fight with ten men and still win it. Make your weapons divine, Or just use bullet time, (Which wasn’t that great when Max Payne did it).
    But the powers are hard to sustain; Your magic is too swiftly drained. In the middle of a fight, You’ll end up in the shite, And will suffer a whole world of pain.
    And in between all of the shooting, You also must think about looting. Because if you want to upgrade, Someone has to be paid, And the shopkeepers don’t like freebooting.
    Why do all games need upgrading elements? Even in ones where it isn’t quite relevant? It means all your big-hitters, Start off in the shitter, And your aim is unfirm and inelegant.
    So when you’ve extinguished the danger, You backtrack through all the chambers. Searching every last nook, For cash and checkbooks, (Which you won’t find much fun, I would wager).
    It transpires that the in-game reality, Has pretensions to non-linearity. The game says, “On your bike! Go wherever you like, As long as it’s in this principality."
    But the freedom’s a mere gilded cage, That adds nothing to inspire or engage. It just means beating feet, Through the same boring streets, Just to get to the next fucking stage.
    There’s very little to do except hunt, For secrets and money upfront. But the reward’s pretty lame, All the streets look the same, And the bads keep respawning, the cunts.
    It's not a totally asinine chore, There are optional missions to score. But I went out of my way And found to my dismay, That in total there’s only like four!
    I guess the ultimate question is “Why, Should I even bother to try? ”Every last NPC, Fills me with apathy. Am I expected to care when they die?
    I know what you’re gonna say, “Yahtzee, “You slick Internet paparazzi. “Surely it’s always fun, “To stick the butt of a gun, “Up the arse of a goosestepping Nazi!”
    Well, if you like starting punch-ups in bars, Or your head has been lodged up your arse, Wolfenstein may give, At least some joie de vivre, Otherwise don’t bother. Two stars.

    • @Twin2kaay7
      @Twin2kaay7 9 лет назад +28

      *standing ovation*

    • @timebomb4562
      @timebomb4562 8 лет назад +36

      +Revolt Wolf i believe the stuff at the end says
      His unique reviewing technique
      is to speak with unbridled critique
      but if there's one thing he hates
      it's postponed release dates
      so arkham asylum is next week

    • @jupitersgodzilla7114
      @jupitersgodzilla7114 6 лет назад +1

      +Al Capown Where that profile pic from?

    • @b3rz3rk3r9
      @b3rz3rk3r9 6 лет назад +3

      Now THAT'S helpful devotion.

    • @DrFrankenMax
      @DrFrankenMax 6 лет назад +3

      Didn't know I needed this... but I did. Bravo

  • @dumbass2798
    @dumbass2798 10 лет назад +85

    By far the best 0 punctuation episode ever

    • @zyad48
      @zyad48 9 лет назад +4

      Dawson MacDougall these needs to be a round of applause for this episode alone XD

  • @IONASPHERETHREE
    @IONASPHERETHREE 9 лет назад +651

    Roses are red,
    My name is Dave,
    I suck at rhyming,
    Microwave

    • @keenanirwin6702
      @keenanirwin6702 9 лет назад +9

      Your four,no more,my rymes are poor,refrigerator

    • @ninjapotatoe1615
      @ninjapotatoe1615 9 лет назад +7

      +IONASPHERETHREE brilliant

    • @whateverIFeelLike
      @whateverIFeelLike 8 лет назад +13

      I do like hikus-
      but sometimes they don't make sense-
      refrigerator

    • @PrinsaVossum
      @PrinsaVossum 4 года назад +1

      Roses are red,
      Violets are blue,
      I hate rhyming,
      Zebra.

    • @Ribbons0121R121
      @Ribbons0121R121 3 года назад

      but that kinda rhymed

  • @MasterFallenHero
    @MasterFallenHero 10 лет назад +220

    He gave it a rating... wat

  • @knightplutonian5490
    @knightplutonian5490 10 лет назад +44

    After watching this review, I had to force my brain not to shove every other review in the playlist into the limerick beat.

  • @swestwylei4743
    @swestwylei4743 9 лет назад +46

    Roses are red
    And so is my door
    I'm not great at rhyming
    REFRIGERATOR!

    • @BonDieu617
      @BonDieu617 8 лет назад +1

      If only through rhyming I could
      Kick your eloquent ass with my boot
      Cause there was a time
      When it was a crime
      If 'your' and 'you're' wrongfully stood*
      _*Also, 'death'. Not 'dead'. You don't need to thank me._

    • @geoffreyprecht2410
      @geoffreyprecht2410 7 лет назад +1

      BonDieu617
      This comeback was nothing but spunk.
      I'd say that you're just a dumb punk.
      Your comments are bad,
      And make me feel sad,
      Since they seem to be absolute junk.

  • @AccidentalNinja
    @AccidentalNinja 8 лет назад +21

    Classic. Still my favorite Zero Punctuation episode.

  • @ethangaren7560
    @ethangaren7560 9 лет назад +52

    At heart, this is still a review
    Even though the premise is new
    Hate is a popular theory
    Which made me kind of leery
    But this was good, so I'll do a rhyme too

  • @HardMGaming
    @HardMGaming 10 лет назад +214

    *Clap. Clap*

  • @ryanharper7273
    @ryanharper7273 10 лет назад +291

    So I'm watching this video online
    About this game out called Wolfenstein
    But take a guess who
    Flat out disapproves
    But I played it and thought it was fine

    • @paperbackwriter1111
      @paperbackwriter1111 10 лет назад +39

      He actually said that he likes it better now in his column. Same with bulletstorm. I guess playing so much spunkgargleweewee made him a little more forgiving of those games

    • @paperbackwriter1111
      @paperbackwriter1111 10 лет назад +15

      *****
      well, even disregarding the political stuff, those games suck. and wolfenstein is way better than something like fucking medal of honor warfighter...

    • @TVdinnermasterchef
      @TVdinnermasterchef 10 лет назад +9

      *****
      Yeah but come on man, wouldn't it be fun to be a Nazi or a Russian for once, handing the US and UK it's collective arse, rather than simply killing the same enemies over and over again? I mean, is there anybody left in Russia now? They're gonna have to send the fucking Siberian eskimos and their highly trained war elk if any more COD games are released...

    • @TVdinnermasterchef
      @TVdinnermasterchef 10 лет назад +1

      *****
      Haha, of course there is in real life, I meant on video games, where about 50million Russians die every day on xbox live on COD.

    • @TVdinnermasterchef
      @TVdinnermasterchef 10 лет назад +4

      Grimmon Luetterforst
      America rapes and kills people every day. Have you heard of Iraq? Or Afghanistan? Open your eyes man, America has invaded countless countries for not believing in Capitalism (Vietnam for instance), or for resources that allow the continuation of Capitalism and US hegimony over the entire globe (Iraq for Oil, Afghanistan to build natural gas pipelines), etc.
      And yes, playing a Nazi being sent to quell a mass rebellion sounds awesome; no need to show the actual raping and piliging and mass genocide, just another FPS. Exactly like COD in other words.
      I do agree with you btw that it's not the American people that are bad, though a large percentage are ignorant to the way their country actually operates. It is the government and it's foreign relations/millitary industry and centralised investment banking system that are the evil ones. All the people I have personally ever met from the US (including my current boss) are very thoughtful, friendly and intelligent people. Shame the US gov doesn't listen to them.
      Oh, and you don't hear about any of the war crimes as they happen because the media spins every bit of information it ever recieves to suit it's own agenda; usually making the west look good and vilifying muslims and countries like Iran, in order to get public approval for future invasion plans. They own up to a few token mistakes or dishonest deeds to make them appear more human, but the strings still get pulled by the same guys in the end

  • @alexroxhissox
    @alexroxhissox 9 лет назад +303

    If roses are red,
    and violets are blue,
    then what the fuck is the colour violet?

    • @JoQeZzZ
      @JoQeZzZ 9 лет назад +48

      +Alex Henderson
      Roses are red,
      I know this too,
      but violets are violet
      AND NOT FUCKING BLUE

    • @gamerguy0358
      @gamerguy0358 9 лет назад +1

      A blue? Dare we say, a green? Or even a pumpernickel tulip? Possibly a yellow! No, that's just too out there!

    • @ohioman4646
      @ohioman4646 8 лет назад +24

      roses are red
      that part is true
      but violets are violet
      you idiot, you!

  • @JohnA...
    @JohnA... 2 года назад +6

    I'm impressed with the 4 minutes of coherent limerick, that had to have taken much more than the average time to make one of the scripts for these, as well as getting the cadence down making the video without multiple tries. Congrats Yahtzee you're a wizard.

  • @Shezmen88
    @Shezmen88 9 лет назад +59

    So clever!! :)

  • @ECL28E
    @ECL28E 10 лет назад +31

    I already played this game. It's called "Every FPS ever made"

  • @andrew24601
    @andrew24601 9 лет назад +30

    Roses can be red, white, pink, yellow, and more
    Violets aren't blue, they're violet
    I have OCD and my poetry skills are shit
    Bollocks

    • @Stuwy2
      @Stuwy2 9 лет назад +2

      +Andrew Taylor-Bloch I hate to be "that guy" but the original meaning of "violet" is blue.

  • @PantsMasterPlays
    @PantsMasterPlays 9 лет назад +47

    I'd write another comment in Limerick
    But I'd then look as dumb as a brick
    It stopped being cool
    I'd just look like a fool
    And I'd always be everyone's last pick.
    I've been awake for over 22 hours and can't even tell if this is good.

    • @cantorlok2815
      @cantorlok2815 9 лет назад +8

      its ok

    • @adamisme5939
      @adamisme5939 6 лет назад

      One too many syllables in the last line but still decent.

    • @kainlocke9934
      @kainlocke9934 6 лет назад

      HEHEHEH I AM BOLD AND BRASH it's alright

  • @Geejay412
    @Geejay412 11 лет назад +82

    This is the best review of a game i have ever seen XD

    • @Geejay412
      @Geejay412 11 лет назад +9

      my god... youtube comment doesnt get instant hate...

    • @magnusbergman6153
      @magnusbergman6153 10 лет назад +15

      *Huff, puff, pant* Terribly sorry, I got here as fast as I could.
      Umm..."ur post r gay lol."

    • @Geejay412
      @Geejay412 10 лет назад +2

      Magnus Bergman took you long enough

  • @BucketCrust
    @BucketCrust 10 лет назад +21

    Even the credits have limericks!

  • @yowhazgood4505
    @yowhazgood4505 7 лет назад +25

    about %30 of the comments are in limerick.
    how clever you are, %30-ers.

  • @cereal_chick2515
    @cereal_chick2515 Год назад +10

    Three straight minutes of limericks. Never let it be said (by fuckwits, presumably) that Yahtzee isn't a master wordsmith; this is the level he was at almost fifteen years ago and he's only gotten better since.

  • @batmanthegreat307
    @batmanthegreat307 6 лет назад +2

    And THIS is why you are my favourite critic. Extremely creative you are

  • @TheSmegPod
    @TheSmegPod 3 года назад +8

    I think this can technically be considered an epic poem

  • @TheJoelKB
    @TheJoelKB 12 лет назад +2

    The riff at the end was made so much more awesome than usual just because the previous limerick has already blown my mind.

  • @Last555555555
    @Last555555555 9 лет назад +55

    this is really impressive, but being the historical nerd that I am. I feel that I should point out that Queen Elizabeth didn't become queen until after World War 2.

    • @Mastert3318
      @Mastert3318 9 лет назад +33

      NEEEEERRRRRDD!

    • @spencereades
      @spencereades 8 лет назад +12

      +Last555555555 And BJ's American boss is wearing a modern flag, but in WWII it had two fewer stars.

    • @Last555555555
      @Last555555555 8 лет назад +1

      spencereades I was focused more on what he was saying than the images, but yeah that is true.

    • @stevenglowacki8576
      @stevenglowacki8576 3 года назад

      And now, years later, watching this review for the third time, just now the same thing occurred to me and I had to go find the top comment already saying this to bump.

  • @timebomb4562
    @timebomb4562 9 лет назад +13

    there once was a man from hong kong
    who thought limericks were too long

    • @timebomb4562
      @timebomb4562 8 лет назад +2

      Rhyan Bennett that was a lim i once read it in a book of funny poems when i was a kid

  • @davidkendrick5192
    @davidkendrick5192 5 лет назад +3

    A fantastic limerick marathon that showcases Yahtzee's huge and seemingly effortless talent for writing.

  • @johnathandoebry5488
    @johnathandoebry5488 9 лет назад +22

    The limerick made that game SLIGHTLY more interesting, at least.

  • @thebetterdevil
    @thebetterdevil Год назад +3

    This feels like discovering a relic from the past

  • @Promethion
    @Promethion 8 лет назад +4

    Rewatching this just makes me appreciate it even more than i did ate the tender age of 14... this review is absolutely genius!

  • @OptimusGamer1981
    @OptimusGamer1981 11 лет назад +5

    This is the first time I've ever seen Yahtzee actually slap a rating on a game. Brilliant as always.

  • @Shadowslash1
    @Shadowslash1 5 лет назад +7

    Though there are times we don't agree
    I appreciate the opinion he gives for free
    Your a gem within itself
    Keep in good health
    Now to continue my ZP spree

  • @blazecrespo1
    @blazecrespo1 11 лет назад +3

    An author, a critic, AND a poet. Yahtzee's awesome.

  • @Twinrehz
    @Twinrehz 6 лет назад +1

    SEVEN YEARS! Is the time it took me to finally appreciate this review as a true classic!

  • @maesterchris2120
    @maesterchris2120 10 лет назад +10

    This... This is the best video, ever!

  • @Mr1234d
    @Mr1234d 10 лет назад +17

    Yahtzee can you do more videos in limerick?

  • @hd_harold7587
    @hd_harold7587 9 лет назад +3

    Blimey. That was a very well thought up limerick Yahtzee. You were good at English in school I'll wager.

  • @zarlsalamandersspacemarine302
    @zarlsalamandersspacemarine302 9 лет назад +4

    That was impresive i cant even rime that long at that pace

  • @CamiloFHSC
    @CamiloFHSC 7 лет назад +8

    So WAIT! Is this the only review Yahzee gave a score?

    • @E1craZ4life
      @E1craZ4life 6 лет назад

      Well, so far, I have yet to find more.

    • @greywalker505
      @greywalker505 5 лет назад +2

      He doesn’t believe in numbers
      As they tend to overencumber
      Not to mention, they’re a total bore.
      (I’m not a poet).

  • @keithadams7619
    @keithadams7619 6 лет назад

    One thing I reckon Wolfenstein did pretty well, navigating. Bear with me on this, once I'd selected a mission seemingly right on the other side of town with a massive clusterfuck of winding streets and deadends all chockers full of dastardly gabbering Kraut's. I set a waypoint for my destination fully expecting to be wandering around for quite some time, I followed the marker on my compass which led me to a fork in the road when all of a sudden the marker relocated itself somewhere off to the right. The compass wasn't simply pointing out what direction my destination was in, it was guiding me through the winding roads which led directly to my destination. I was taken aback, I'd never seen anything like it and I can't recall any recent examples of other games doing anything like it or improving on it, I know Skyrim and Fallout certainly don't do that. Such a shame a surprisingly well put together navigation tool got stuck with such a mediocre game.

  • @cannon9009
    @cannon9009 8 лет назад +7

    Holy shit that was amazing. You should replace Dr. Suess

  • @Sam_596
    @Sam_596 Год назад +1

    The strange nostalgia of going through old ZPs and seeing the "film" intro

  • @esthersmith3056
    @esthersmith3056 3 года назад +6

    a decade has passed since this game's release,
    its sole legacy, Yahtzee's famous piece.
    better than it deserved,
    a review so absurd,
    it's remembered though within days players ceased.

  • @imranhazim5434
    @imranhazim5434 5 лет назад +1

    I like how he talks with rhythm.

  • @IrishJohn101
    @IrishJohn101 9 лет назад +3

    I never get tired of this review.

  • @MaskOneOneTwoThree
    @MaskOneOneTwoThree 10 лет назад +1

    Just before watching Yahtzee review Wolfenstien from 2011, I get an ad for the new Wolfenstien. Amazing.

  • @L0ngsword
    @L0ngsword 10 лет назад +57

    So I came up with a pretty good summary of this video.
    A
    A
    B
    B
    A

    • @darezzi97
      @darezzi97 9 лет назад +4

      isn't it
      A
      A
      B-B
      A
      ?

    • @AlbanianThrash
      @AlbanianThrash 4 года назад

      damn dude thats crazy how you figured out that he's doing limericks after he said he would spend the whole video doing limericks. i mean really top stuff here dude. really in awe at your attention to already announced details and your ability to retcon them into your own agency.

    • @L0ngsword
      @L0ngsword 4 года назад

      @@AlbanianThrash Who hurt you?

    • @AlbanianThrash
      @AlbanianThrash 4 года назад

      @@L0ngsword who hurt your brain white girl

  • @wearsjorge55
    @wearsjorge55 7 лет назад +3

    This comment section was an absolute pleasure to read after watching the video 😂

  • @anomaly7853
    @anomaly7853 2 года назад +3

    I can't believe this hack rhymed "Payne" with "Pain".

  • @davidh8271
    @davidh8271 19 дней назад

    This one will always be one of my favorites.

  • @joshl8047
    @joshl8047 10 лет назад +12

    Welp…sides have split. I'm going to die from asphyxiation from these videos someday.

  • @Meliemooful
    @Meliemooful 6 лет назад +3

    There once was a man called Ben Croshaw
    Who was convinced this game should have been much more
    He ranted quite hard
    Rhymed like a bard
    And deservedly gave it a low score

  • @maskalaskaessade1046
    @maskalaskaessade1046 9 лет назад +8

    Absolutely. F*cking. Brilliant. II couldn't stop laughing.
    II'd love to be a writer one day, and II'm an aspiring singer/song writer. II legitimately look up to you. Your writing is fantastic, the humour is endless and sharp as a machete, the deliverance is perfect, and all in all II'd say you're one of my top role models.
    Keep up the awesome videos.

  • @Meruryan
    @Meruryan 10 лет назад

    Whenever I feel down I return to watch the brilliance that is this video.

  • @PokeMaster22222
    @PokeMaster22222 8 лет назад +10

    Er...did I miss a fleeting image of a green, furry, Christmas-hating beast?
    I did not expect a rhyming video.

    • @greywalker505
      @greywalker505 5 лет назад

      What about the Spanish Inquisition?

    • @E1craZ4life
      @E1craZ4life 5 лет назад

      @@greywalker505 Albatross!

  • @VenSensei
    @VenSensei 10 лет назад +1

    I almost cried; that was too beautiful.

  • @thisjustin6529
    @thisjustin6529 9 лет назад +3

    I LOVE this video. That was so funny. I'm also somewhat embarrassed to say that this entry of Wolfenstein is my favorite game and I've been gaming my whole life (I'm 31 years old). I can't exactly explain why. It's partially just sentimental because it was a gift from a girl I had some serious history with but it's mostly because I have a soft spot for average shooters. This game just hit all those generic notes that for whatever reason I can't get enough of. Plus it's a sequel to the first shooter I ever played (wolfenstein 3d). Great poem though. You listed all the reasons why I almost feel guilty that this is my favorite game! LOL

  • @mpampisoflou
    @mpampisoflou 5 лет назад

    I just came here after I watched new order and I have to say your voice has become SO much better

  • @daz1200
    @daz1200 9 лет назад +13

    fucking love it! i laughed through the whole thing

  • @mackedie1
    @mackedie1 12 лет назад

    This is my most favorite review evar as of right now (yes, I know, that's not the correct spelling of "ever" but this video is so very awesome the misspelling of at least "ever" is necessary)!

  • @b3rz3rk3r9
    @b3rz3rk3r9 6 лет назад +4

    0:59 For those seeking a great spectacle,
    Here's the review that's made lyrical,
    The game get's no pass,
    He smacks down it's ass,
    While it becomes quite comical.
    (The lymeric begins here)

  • @johnauner5139
    @johnauner5139 10 лет назад +2

    Wow I'm shocked at how much I absolutely loved that review.

  • @chefrowlet
    @chefrowlet 10 лет назад +6

    That was flawless. XD

  • @rpgllama3036
    @rpgllama3036 4 года назад +1

    Truly one of the greatest minds of this era.

  • @TheDukard
    @TheDukard 8 лет назад +4

    Now I know know why Yahtzee isn't a children's book writer

  • @timothycarney9652
    @timothycarney9652 6 лет назад

    I don't really play videogames much, but you are a treasure Yahtzee and I will take every opportunity to see your work, you could make a critique of various bread varieties sound interesting.

  • @melvynlennard
    @melvynlennard 10 лет назад +10

    I really do like this review,
    I cannot do better, that's true,
    But the least I can do,
    Is a limerick too;
    Because, Yahtzee, I love you

  • @thedarklrd6714
    @thedarklrd6714 7 лет назад +1

    "various flavors of lightning"
    seems legit

  • @absentcoder4552
    @absentcoder4552 8 лет назад +9

    Maybe he'll review
    Okami in this style
    If we pester him.
    I'd think it would be
    A fun way to utilize
    Foreign prose customs.
    Or would this style
    Be too hard to make note of?
    Eh, forget it all.

    • @Intothevoid-NIB
      @Intothevoid-NIB 8 лет назад

      ...
      ...
      ...

    • @absentcoder4552
      @absentcoder4552 8 лет назад +3

      I take it that you
      have no clue what haikus are.
      Well, I can't blame you.

    • @Intothevoid-NIB
      @Intothevoid-NIB 8 лет назад

      Corbin West I know what a haiku is.

    • @absentcoder4552
      @absentcoder4552 8 лет назад +2

      Please, do forgive me.
      I feared those three ellipses
      were mocking my smarts.
      If you went to school
      with classmates like mine, you'd be
      a cynic, also.

    • @Intothevoid-NIB
      @Intothevoid-NIB 8 лет назад

      Corbin West
      If you had classmates like mine
      You would definitely not be fine
      So when you say that
      You became a cynic in class
      It comes across with no surprise

  • @DJ_Knuckles
    @DJ_Knuckles 12 лет назад

    return to castle wolfenstein was a BEASTLY game. the minigun dogs, supersoldiers, and zappy jumping guys, combined with the cool stealth missions and co-op made it one of my favorite games of that console generation.

  • @rickflett2264
    @rickflett2264 10 лет назад +4

    goddamn yatzee.. +1

  • @fearingalma1550
    @fearingalma1550 8 месяцев назад

    THE WOLF THAT TIME FORGOT
    brought me here, my knickers in a knot
    remembering this review
    once solid a view
    perhaps again play it, I ought?

  • @SHiTJuFro743
    @SHiTJuFro743 10 лет назад +4

    Y'know, a lot of those things you described with a negative tone in your voice are really not bad at all. Upgrading your weapons? Having a limit to your magical shite? Rejuvenating health? These are just game design for balancing purposes. There's a game without all these things which anyone can play, called Wolfenstein 3D...
    This isn't coming from a "fanboy," or anything, just someone who noticed some slightly dodgy critiquing.

    • @SigmaSyndicate
      @SigmaSyndicate 10 лет назад +19

      He didn't think it was a bad game, just completely unremarkable and mediocre, and everything it does is a pale imitation of a game that did it far better.

    • @SHiTJuFro743
      @SHiTJuFro743 10 лет назад +10

      Tabula Rasa Gaming
      Yeah, I actually hadn't seen too many of his videos when I wrote that. During the time I spent becoming absolutely addicted to them, I have realized that he usually does just maintain focus on negatives. Funny critiquing overall.

    • @SHiTJuFro743
      @SHiTJuFro743 10 лет назад +4

      Gillrien
      opinions.

    • @Kimihro
      @Kimihro 10 лет назад

      DISSENTING OPINION DETECTED. DOWNVOTE PROTOCOLS INITIATING IN 5...

    • @yamibakura8597
      @yamibakura8597 10 лет назад +2

      Oh my gosh! A critic with strong opinions? Nothing like this has ever seen the light of day, on the internet, no less.

  • @lavetissene339
    @lavetissene339 2 года назад +1

    Looking back, this was the only game Yahtz ever gave a quantifiable rating.

  • @Jayyemi
    @Jayyemi 9 лет назад +5

    Roses are grey
    Violets are grey
    I'm a dog
    Woof

    • @B1tPixel
      @B1tPixel 9 лет назад +1

      +FlamingMarshmallow Dogs can see blue color. You fucked up.

    • @EpicMrbilly
      @EpicMrbilly 8 лет назад +1

      +B1tPixel Violets are violet. 'tis you who did the fuck.

  • @ThrainnTheRed
    @ThrainnTheRed 10 лет назад +1

    I'm rewatching this video five fucking times.

    • @MintMovies
      @MintMovies 9 лет назад

      Because! It's required or something..

  • @TheAdmirableAdmiral
    @TheAdmirableAdmiral Год назад +3

    i am finally getting around to this game in 2023 because this review made me avoid this game like the plague in 2009 but today Nazi Space Wizards are surprisingly refreshing. The funny thing is if i played this game in 2009 i know for a fact i would have hated it because for its time it was shockingly derivitive and safe. For its time it was dull and boring but compared to modern games it feels fresh.
    Its still the weakest wolfenstein game but I am having fun despite it being super easy.

  • @fireruby544
    @fireruby544 6 лет назад

    I love that there's one last limerick in the credits.

  • @TerrmediaReturns
    @TerrmediaReturns 11 лет назад +3

    i love this video way too much ^-^

  • @itsbreadbin
    @itsbreadbin 12 лет назад

    My mind has officially been blown. That was the best damn piece of poetry I've ever heard, beautiful.

  • @Kemonokami
    @Kemonokami 10 лет назад +4

    The internet's a fascinating place
    Expanding at a disquieting pace
    There's furries and bronies
    Anon and their cronies
    And it's all pushed straight in your face.

    • @MintMovies
      @MintMovies 9 лет назад +1

      One of the best limericks, here, in terms of consistency, rhythm, and rhyme.

    • @Kemonokami
      @Kemonokami 8 лет назад

      MintMovies Oh, thank you!

  • @ArmyForMe
    @ArmyForMe 7 лет назад

    even nearing 6 years down the line from this review being released I still think this is the best review I ever heard

  • @havenotchosenyet
    @havenotchosenyet 10 лет назад +14

    In the temontorous time of DDay
    There once was a man named BJ
    With Chocolate Box hair
    And a face like a bear
    And a Jacket he picked up on eBay.
    He was out one day murdering Germans
    As they tried to enact london's burning
    He beat up some dudes
    And broke missile tubes
    That got blown up, That will learn them.
    While there he made the discovery
    That the Nazi's powers are like no othery
    He brought back a bangle
    With sub mystical angle
    To which the allies responded Oh Buggery!
    But in the secret service of Queen Lizzie
    BJ's bosses find themselves in a tissy
    They stand up and shout
    BJ sort this all out
    We'd do it ourselves but we're busy
    So he's sent to a big german town
    Where there's serious shi going down
    There's an active resistance
    In need of assistance
    And everything's gone greyish brown
    It soon becomes clear that the city
    Has been attacked by ocult committees
    With mystical creatures
    And slavering creatures
    And a gymnast with stonking great ti

  • @ryguy2896
    @ryguy2896 12 лет назад

    That was..very impressive rhyming, and it worked perfectly.

  • @UkeRocket
    @UkeRocket 10 лет назад +6

    Wow...
    /slow clap

  • @PointsofData
    @PointsofData 12 лет назад +1

    I...I kinda wish he would do this more often. That was amazing.