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THIS Kind of Goodbye Is Different...Why Is It SO Hard For Us To Lose A Pet? Just Being Transparent.
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- Опубликовано: 20 янв 2024
- I hated making this video...in fact, I wasn't sure I would even post it. But I decided a while back that I was going to be transparent about everything on our channel. The truth is that we are emotionally devastated right now and theres NO way to hide that from you guys. We had to say one of the HARDEST goodbyes to our furbaby, Tutu. Despite her age, we weren't ready to let her go and her extremely unfortunate prognosis came faster than we could handle. If you're an animal lover, or if you've gone through this before, then I'm sure you know exactly how we're feeling right now. So, while I want to continue with the vacation and planning videos, I had to hit pause on that content to grieve the loss of our girl. We will get back to the content you came for soon...but right now, in this moment, I just want to let you know where our hearts are at. Thank you all for understanding and for the compassionate comments I already know you're going to leave. R.I.P "Toots" 6/11- 1/18/24
If you feel called to make a tax deductible donation to help give another animal a second chance on behalf of Tutu here is a local shelter where you can do that. Dorchester paws operates on 25% county funding and 75% donations. Thank you so much.
dorchesterpaws.org/give-today/
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It took a lot for me to finish watching this, Ashley, because it hits so close to home. We had to say goodbye to several cats over the last 6 years. My old guy has been gone for 4 years, and there's not a day that goes by that I don't miss him.
We spent 1000s on one of our cats and the vets had no idea what was wrong with one of out cats.
Another one of our cats, Paws, was a feral cat we took in. She developed feline leukemia. She was a fighter, but it eventually took her.
So I understand your pain. I wish I could say it gets easier quickly, but your going to miss her for a long time.
But please don't feel guilty. You did what had to be done for her. She's in a better place, no longer suffering. No pain. As painful as it was, you did the right thing.
❤❤❤
I knew you all would understand. I'm so sorry for bringing back those heavy emotions. The toughest part with cats, and most pets, is that they hide their pain SO well so that we don't worry....but here we are, completely unhinged without them around. We just don't deserve them...but I hope we get to see them again someday on the other side of this bridge everyone talks about. Thank you for sharing this grief with us...sometimes I think you all are better than therapy 💞
I completely understand. We just had to put our beloved dog to sleep last week. I’m still bursting into tears periodically. My heart goes out to you.
The grieving process is crazy like that...one minute you think you can go an hour without crying but then the smallest little thought or memory flash and you're a sobbing puddle again. I'm so sorry you lost your pup too...I like to believe they're all across the rainbow bridge playing together until we get there. They're definitely not alone and definitely free of the pain in this world now. Sending all our love xoxo
I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. We just lost our 14 yo American Eskimo, Annabella, last month and our lives will never be the same. You’re right, these babies should live forever because they bring nothing but pure love and joy to the world. Sending hugs your way.
RIP Annabella 😭 Ugh I hate that for you. I'm so so sorry. You hit the nail on the head...it will never be the same here without her. I keep looking for her to follow me into the kitchen...or to see a glimpse of her little tail running out of the room when she had the zoomies. Its going to be a huge adjustment with all of these memories we have. But I wouldn't trade those memories for all the money in the world. Hold onto them! They're all we have until we see them again one day. Thank you for sharing this grief with us. BIG hugs! 💞
I am SO sorry. I completely understand. I had a medical emergency myself in December of 2014 and had to be in the hospital for weeks and during that time our kitty Zoe (15 years) was diagnosed with cancer. I couldn’t even be with her when we had to let her go. So sad for myself, my husband and my daughter. It’s not fair. My thoughts and prayers are with you
Oh that breaks my heart for you...and for Zoe. I have heard that if you keep your heart open with pets they'll send you signs that they're ok. A couple days ago I was introduced to a woman I've never met that felt compelled to send her sympathy. She was asking us about Tutu and I shared that we called her Toots, or Tooty sometimes. To both of our surprise, she also calls her daughter Toots and Tooty for short. It was definitely a moment we weren't expecting but that I was so thankful for. I hope you've been able to receive some of those signs over the years since she left our world. Its really not fair that they can't be with us forever...but they will always be with us in our hearts. Big hugs to you and your family! Thank you for sharing our grief. Much love!
I’m so sorry. ❤️ Last February we went on our 2nd Disney cruise, our first 7 night and on our first port day I got the news that my grandmother passed away. I couldn’t help but be dissociated the rest of the cruise. Then we came home and our boy cat Sammy was breathing weird and in less than 2 weeks and $1k later in tests and trying to save him, he passed away from FIP. He was only 4 years old. All of our animals are shelter pets or rescues. It was so heartbreaking, then less than a month later my grandpa passed as well. It was a very hard few months. Sending love and prayers.
Wow…Kristin…I’m so so sorry. What an awful few months for you and your family. What a terrible way to start the year…I hate that for you. When you said you disassociated I really felt that. I can only imagine the weight of emotion you had during that time and it breaks my heart for you. I hope you were able to find peace after all of that…and maybe got to rebook your cruise? You need a do over, girl 🫶🏼 BIG hugs! Thank you for sharing this grief with us here 💞
I’m so incredibly sorry Ashley. Losing a loved one is so painful. Tutu’s whole life was so full of love ♥️♥️♥️
Her WHOLE life...absolutely! We will always love her and miss her so very much. Thank you 💞
I am so verrrry sorry for your loss, we just had to put our Little Sunshine to sleep two weeks ago for almost the same thing. She had the hyperthyroidism but kept losing weight. My vet said it looked like it may be kidney cancer. My Sunshine was over 15 years old and she seemed like she was telling me it was time. Don't feel guilty you gave her a great life and lots of love. She obviously loved you...😢
RIP sweet Sunshine 😭 I love that name. I bet she was an absolute ray of light. I'm so very sorry you're going through this too. And, yes, every year we took Toots in for her check up I was waiting for them to tell me her kidneys were failing. Thats usually the case with hyperthyroidism and all that medication. But hers were fine, surprisingly...it was her heart that wasn't healthy. We were totally caught off guard and mentally unprepared for that. She must have been hiding it really well.
Thank you for sharing this grief with us. Its so hard! Sending our all our love your way! 💞
So sorry!!! Our fur babies always give us more than they take when they go 😢.
They are members of our family and of our heart.
You made the right and most humane decision. You have to take in to account of what kind of quality of life would they have? For good people like the two of you are this is the hardest decision, but you have done what right for all of you, Tutu included.
Again both Tracy and I are sending prayers and hugs to the whole family. God bless you all.
Your “Biscuiteers” are here for you!!
Thank you so much for this...You're right. I keep getting feelings like I should have done something more for her to maybe give her one more day or week. But like you said, it wasn't what was best for her. Its just what I wanted to be able to keep her here with us and that wasn't fair. We are emotionally SPENT after last week but we are taking it one day at a time and getting adjusted to holding her in our hearts instead of our arms. You have all been holding our spirits high through this and I am forever grateful. Thank you again to our favorite "Biscuiteers" from the bottom of our hearts. I mean it. 💞
Marlers, I am so sorry for not only your loss but having to make such a decision to begin with. It is never easy. My Toby passed away about 10yrs ago and it was a huge loss. I was so thankful for the support around me when it happened. It’s such a special bond when you have a fur baby that watched you grow and then they part. I agree, they should be immortal. But we can think of Coco and know that we’ll meet them again as alebrijes when we cross the marigold/rainbow bridge. Sending you all tight hugs ❤
Thank you so much, Michelle...Oh my gosh, yesss with the Coco reference...Next time I watch that I'm going to cry my face off 😭 I also keep thinking of how much worse this would have been had Tim been gone for work or Army or whatever. I'll never say it happened at a good time but....it didn't happen at the worst time, for sure. I just hate it all. I want my baby back. We are all trying to adjust around here, including Donut.
Toby is my mama's kitty's name, too 🤗 BIG hugs!
So sorry, it’s so hard to loose our fur babies. 💔 I still miss each one we have lost, but some hit harder. Sending love and prayers.
They absolutely have a special way of connecting with us like no human could ever. Thank you so much for your kind words 💞
I'm so sorry for the loss of your fur baby. My 15 yr old Cockapoo crossed the Rainbow bridge July 7 2023. It is so hard. Laps of Love online grief support helped me navigate the feelings of guilt & my grief journey.
15 years is a long time to love anyone! What a blessing you both were to each other. You're the second person now to recommend Laps of Love and I really appreciate that! I hadn't heard of it before and I'll definitely be looking into that. Thank you so much, Julie xoxo
@@battlegroundbiscuits Laps of Love has a zoom group therapy ($$) and a free online grief sessions. It really helped me understand my deep level of grief. Losing a fur baby is like no other grief I have ever experienced in my life. Hugs to you & your family.
@@juliemccowan4435 I’m looking into this this weekend for sure…I agree with you totally…Thank you so much. Big hugs!
Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry for the loss of your fur baby. We had to make that decision about our dog last January and it is so hard . Take all the time you need. We will still be here .❤
Januarys suck! Ugh..I'm sorry you had to go through this too. We have so much love for them and just get left here trying to figure out where to channel that loss. Thank you for being here, Jamie! I've said it before but I mean it...I think yall help us more than we help you sometimes. xoxo
🌈🐱🌠🙏🏻
They are part of us , Part of our story, you guys did the best life for Tutu, Keep those beautiful memories.
You are so so right! They will always be a part of our heart and our story. Thank you so much for saying that. It means a lot 💞
You did the right thing for your baby. She had no greater love than what you gave her. I’m so sorry 😢
Thank you so very much. Deep in my heart I know thats true. But in that moment its SO hard to make a decision like that. It helps to hear from you all and read the reassurance in this comment section. She had SO much love here in our home I can't even measure it in words. I'll miss her endlessly until we meet again. xoxo
Thank you for your service, thank you for your support, thank you for your advice, thank you for your content, and MOST OF ALL: thank you for being REAL. It is my birthday, and my wish is for you and your's to never change. Stay strong!
Being real is all we have...its all any of us REALLY have. We are happy to share ALL of that with you all and will be forever grateful for the love and support here. But more importantly, HAPPY Birthday!!! I sincerely hope you found a way to make it special and share a wish with your loved ones as well 💞 Thank you SO much from the bottom of our hearts!
Very sorry about your loss. My family also lost our dog this weekend. It is always hard to say good.
Oh no, I'm so sorry...Please know we are navigating these feelings with you! Its so hard to relearn life without them. Thank you so much for your love and support! Please accept our sincerest condolences!
@@battlegroundbiscuits thank you. I am really glad you made this video. We should not hide from the darker feelings.
There are no right words to say, just know that we are all here for y’all❤️. We had a very similar situation with our fur-baby this past March. We actually returned from a WDW vacation and 2 days later had to say goodbye to her. It was extremely sudden and really knocked us down. She had been with us for 10 years, even before we had our kids. It is never easy to say good bye and it always hits you harder than you think it will. Take the time you need to be sad and grieve. Sending love and support!
Thank you so much for sharing this...As much as it hurts theres some level of relief knowing we aren't alone going through this. When it happens so quickly like that its another level of pain because you're just not emotionally ready. Are we ever though? I don't know how much more we could be if we had known earlier. The grief is heavy though...that I know for sure. Thank you for understanding and all the love and support as always. xoxo
I am so sorry Ashley, Tim, Story, and Donut ❤. We had similar situation with our dog. My daughter brought her home made paw prints with her, loved on her and a few days later took her back to the vet. She later had a stuffed animal made by these awesome people that looked just like Kallie (dog). You sent them photos and they would update you with photos as they made it to ensure the stuffie looked like your beloved pet. She has it to this day.
We will be getting the clay paw prints as well from the company that handled the cremation. I love that they offered this as a physical memory of her. I've heard about the stuffed animals that you're talking about but had forgotten all about it. I'll have to look into that because I'm starting to notice Donut becoming a little lost and maybe depressed. She misses her sister...after all, they lived their entire lives together. I wonder if that might help her too. Thank you so much for sharing this 💞
May give Donut a way to still snuggle with her sister ❤
@@bbfarmz3200 my thoughts exactly 🥹
😭😭 So sorry about your baby. I started crying as soon as I saw her head hit your chest at the beginning of the video cuddling❤ lots of love to you guys
That part cuts deep 😭 I'm so sorry to put those emotions onto you! We loved her so much. Pets have a special way of taking up space in our hearts that can never be refilled. Thank you so much for your love and support through this 💞
So sorry to hear about your dear Tutu.
Thank you...she was an absolute sweetheart. 💞
Don’t feel guilty Ashley. Even if you had or spent that money, their isn’t much they can do medically. You made the best decision for your fur baby and your family! ❤❤❤
You're right...I do realize that...Grief just has a way of clouding your brain into thinking you could have done more. I just have a hard time thinking that maybe I could have given her one more day, or one more week...but at the end, it would have been for me. She just would have been struggling one more day, or one more week...and my heart couldn't take letting her live that way for us. Still one of the hardest decisions I've ever made.
We had a Doberman who developed a heart condition around 10 years old, he was our son’s best friend, after 1 year of heart medication and vet visits we made the decision to let him go. I went by myself to the vet because I knew it was the most humane thing to do, I balled like a baby on the way home, so much for being a hardened combat vet … I am sorry for your loss.
This breaks my heart for you and your family...that is so so tough. We want to do everything for them, just like they spent their lives doing for us. And there's no way to truly communicate our love we have for them...all we can do is trust our own heart that it is an act of final compassion. And trust me when I tell you hardened combat vets cry too. I'm married to one. Things like this are the chemistry our hearts need to soften and love deeper. He knew you loved him even if you couldn't tell him yourself. Thank you for sharing this with us...I know its not easy to remember and relive. Much love!
Bless your heart! Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable moment. I’m so very sorry for your loss, for the pain your family is going through. There comes the time we have to make these hard decisions, because we owe it to them to give them the dignity and quality of life they deserve. What a wonderful loving family Tutu got to spend her life with.❤
We appreciate you Cindy! It’s SO hard…maybe one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. But you’re absolutely right…we owe her that dignity after all of the love she gave us for almost 13 years. We just miss her so much. Thank you for your kind words 💕
One should never have to apologize for love. Sorry, your heart is breaking. Tutu filled it with lots of love and affection. Take your time with the family.
Tutu definitely fulfilled her job with loving us more than we could have ever deserved. She was such a good cat...we will miss her terribly. Thank you so much for your kind words 💞
Thanks for sharing, hard video to watch, thoughts with You and Story and Tim
Hard video to make too 😩 Thank you for being one of her best buddies in this world. 💞
Sorry for the loss of your fur baby. Family comes in all forms. Work through your grief. Be real for your daughter.
Tutu was absolutely our baby...you're completely right. We are working through it each day, explaining to Story that she went to Heaven. Its a tough concept for a 5 year old who thinks we can visit Heaven too...but we are talking through our sadness until our happy memories fill our hearts again. Thank you so much for the kind words.
So so sorry for the loss of your fur baby! I had to make the difficult decision in March 2023 to let go of my sweet Maisey. She was 14 years old and I spent the last year of her life trying to nurse her back to health and her poor, old body just couldn’t take it anymore. I had her from the time she was an 8 week old puppy. I was 24 when I got her and 37 when she died. Man, we lived so much life together. The loss of her is still one of the greatest loses of my life and I still struggle with not having her here. Pets mean so much to us and are such a big part of our lives. When they go, it feels like an empty wound that never fully heals. Take time to grieve. It took me a very long time until I could speak about Maisey and not breakdown. Now, I’m happy that when I think of her or see pictures, my strongest emotion is happiness with seeing her or speaking about her, but there’s always a bit of sadness there too. Take care and my thought are with your family.
Thank you so much for sharing this...Its exactly what I needed to hear right now. I felt all of that! I know time will heal some of that pain but pets take up so much of our hearts when we share SO much life together...and its never really the same when that space is empty. Making that decision to say goodbye is one of the hardest I've ever had to make and I did NOT feel qualified to make it. It sounds like Maisey lived an entire lifetime full of love from the very start. What a lucky girl she was. You have to believe she hung on that long for you...Pets will hide their pain forever just so we don't worry. They're selfless like that. Thank you so much for sharing that with us...it means so much that we can all share in this grief together and know we will make it with each others support. Much love to you!
So sorry you guys are having to go through. It’s SO hard to make these decisions. Take care of yourselves. ❤
The hardest! I don't feel qualified for these kinds of things. But we do what we have to for the ones we love the most. 💞
Take all the time you need, my heart breaks for u guys.😢😢😢
Thank you so much 💞
I am so very sorry. We’ve gone through that ourselves. You guys take care of yourselves, take your time. We’ll see you when you’re ready.
Thank you so much...I know its something a lot of people have gone through so I thought you all would relate. I appreciate this so much. Its a daily hurdle right now, just trying to rise above the sadness...but we will get there.
I’m so sorry for your loss. 😢 this made me cry ugh
I’m so sorry to bring such heavy energy to the channel this way. You must have a big heart to respond emotionally to it…and we love you for that. Thank you so much for your kind words 💞
We just lost one of our huskies in November. It was hard for me. Travis, however, due to his condition, kept asking where he was. We are holding space for you guys and sending a ton of love
😭 I’m so so sorry…It’s so tough. Story keeps asking us every morning if someone in heaven is feeding Tutu the right food and if we can go there to see her again. Such a hard thing to deal with let alone conversation to have. My heart is with you…
@battlegroundbiscuits you guys take some time to rest and heal. Losing a furbaby is like losing a family member. Just know you have our support. A phrase a dear friend once taught me is just not today. Thank you for your kindness and for the hard to make video.
Tutu is in heaven where know one is in pain .
Tutu will always be with your family . ❤
Thank you@@juliewalter-it7ri You're absolutely right!
I am in tears for you! So sorry
Tears are love with no where to go, they say. She is very much loved and always will be. 💞
The unfortunate part of being a responsible pet owner is having to make these hard decisions for the ones we care about. It’s obvious that you gave your cat a loving home and she’s so fortunate to have had this lifetime with you and your family. Part of being strong is reaching out for support when you need it, and I’m glad you had the courage to be transparent with your grief. The internet can be such a hateful place, but I hope you feel the love and support here in your comments section.
Wow…this is such a profound comment…thank you, sincerely. The comments have really gotten me through the last week and a half. Everyone in this community has come forward with such sweet messages of kindness and love whether it’s just sharing sympathy or their own stories. We are really lucky to have such positive engagement from you all. Everything you said hits the nail on the head 👏🏼 Thank you so much for contributing to the love and support here! 🫶🏼
I LOVE your videos. I'm so sorry for your loss
Thank you so much...I really appreciate that! We will be back to our normal content soon....just need a little time to lift our spirits 💞
I just had to put my 11 years old dog down on new years day night. He had a mass that was bleeding into his chest and would need a transfusion and major surgery. No guarantees and cost would start at $4 to $5 thousand dollars. I know what you are going through and my heart breaks for you 💔. I had lost my other dog when he was over 10 in 2021. The 2 of them were best friends. Hang in there. It's hard, but be strong.
oh wow....I'm so so sorry to hear that. 😩 You know EXACTLY how this feels don't you...I guess one of the things to remember is that they were best friends and they're reunited now. They'll all be waiting for us. Thank you for sharing this with us...I know its not easy to relive the pain. Much love!
It is never easy to lose a family member you choose or they choose you. Sorry for yalls loss and heartache. ❤
Its definitely one of the hardest things I've ever done. Thank you so much for your kind words and your support through this. 💞
Some pets are part of the family and some pets are part of your heart. It is hard losing them but remember you were the best part of their lives.
This is so true. Thank you for this reminder. She will always be part of our family's story.
All I have to offer is, I'm sorry for all of you.
Kindness is a larger offer than you give credit...Thank you so much for your love and support 💞
So sorry for your loss. Last year we had a difficult time when our dog got very sick overnight. We faced the same issue with money and treatment and spent as much as we could. We had to explain to our kids that it wasn’t fair to put her through more pain. It wasn’t easy. I journaled every time I it became overwhelming. I printed collages for my kids to put in their rooms. It is never easy. Pets are family and show us nothing but love. I think videos like this help, we aren’t alone when we go through loss.
I'm so sorry to hear about your sick pup...thats heartbreaking. I wish we didn't have to make those decisions but I'm also thankful that we get to show them one final act of compassion at the end. You're completely right. They don't deserve to suffer and its much easier on them to leave this world with some dignity and peace. I like the journaling idea...The grief is SO heavy sometimes, even days afterwards. I imagine it will feel this way for a while. I almost feel like these videos are my journal at times when I share these things with you all. Its saving me a ton on therapy so thank you lol...but seriously, I appreciate you sharing this here and for offering your kind words. It means so much to us!
As hard as it was for you to make this video, it was very hard for me to watch as well. I understand your grief. Tutu was a beautiful kitty who seemed very loved by all of you. Hoping the coming days get a bit easier for you all.
I sincerely apologize for passing that grief onto you! It was difficult but therapeutic for me to make and I realized that when I shared it with you all...Thank you for allowing me to include this with our content. Tutu was SO so special to us...Thank you so much for the love and support! We are taking one day a time 💞
@@battlegroundbiscuits No need to apologize whatsoever! It was hard for me to view it because I've experienced it as well. You all hang in there. We're thinking about you.
So so sorry😢
Thank you so much...we are working through it one day at a time 💞
Sweet Ashley, Tim & Story: Know you are all in my heart and soul and I feel your immense sadness & Pain. Last Tuesday, we had to say Farewell to our sweet tiger tabby, Dexter who was part of our Fox Family since February 16th, 2007 for Ryan’s 11th birthday. We also lost our Beloved Maya, 20 in late 2019 who we had since 1999 when Ryan was 3…he will be turning 28 next month. Lap of Love (there’s one in Charleston sweetie) helped compassionately with his passing over…I’d be on the floor without that in home service. Since then, my heart is completely broken as he was a Mommas boy and as they all do, Loved us unconditionally. I cry at least twice a day and miss his little face around every corner of the house. He definitely took a piece of my heart with him. The 3rd cat loss in 37 years but the only boy and man, was he the sweetest of all. All I can tell you is when it’s Tutu’s time, give her as many hugs and kisses as humanely possible and later, take your grief and loss one day at a time. It’s all we really have in this world anyways. We will be moving to Vegas by years end and selling the house this summer. I can’t wait as his memories surround me. Time will help ease all of our Pain but these fur babies will never ever depart from our hearts/daily lives. So you go ahead and cry all you want as Heaven is listening and will take the Best Care of our babies until our reunion at The Rainbow Bridge on the other side. Check out www.lapoflove.com and click on Dexter…in the memorials and you’ll see him and Ryan from Feb 2007. Know that our Grief is shared and no doubt among so many other pet owners around the World. We are all together and will never abandon the memories of our Amazing Furry Friends. Tons of Hugs to you all and Prayers for the difficult days and decisions that lie ahead. Much Love from Colorado…Ann & Family 😥🐈🌼
Oh my goodness, Ann....Dexter was BEAUTIFUL. I see he loved sitting under the Christmas tree. So did Tutu 😻 What a sweet memorial...I have never heard of Lap of Love so thank you SO much for sharing this. This is such a wonderful alternative than taking these babies to the vet. Don't get me wrong...the staff at our vets office was absolutely incredible and soooo compassionate. I couldn't have asked for better angels to help us transition her. But I already know that when its Donuts time to go it will be a high stress environment for her. I will definitely be looking into this when that time comes.
I can completely understand that feeling of wanting to remove yourself from all of the memories that surround you in your home. I am clinging to the memories right now but some moments its just too much. I have been looking for ways to change my environment these past few days just to find some emotional relief. I know time is the best medicine but not having control over that is a struggle. We love her and miss her so much. Thank you so much for sharing your grief with us...its SUCH a heavy feeling to hold onto. I'm glad we have each other to carry the weight. But I heard someone once say that grief is just love with no where to go...and I feel that so much. We have so much love for these babies and they'll never be forgotten. Much love to you all!
I’m so sorry! Losing pets is hard
The absolute hardest! Dare I say harder than losing some people...
Thank you for your kind words!
No no no DONT feel guilty for your fur baby operation and cost….my dog left us at 13 and I had to realize it was her time…most of us can’t afford these vet bills….it was her time and I’m sure she didn’t want to live on daily pills…RiP kitty…I am sorry…
You're not wrong at all...I just love her so much that my grief was clouding the reality that I couldn't save her...and that money can't buy time. Even if I had the money it may not have even helped. Pets just have to leave us when its their time and its a sad reality I hate to admit...especially with such strong connection to them. I'm sorry about your pup...I bet she was a good girl and knew you loved her too. Thank you so much for sharing your love for her here and for your support. Its hard for all of us!
😔🙏🐱🐾@@battlegroundbiscuits