The Father Wound | How it Affects the Men We End up with | The Unpopular Opinion UG

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  • Опубликовано: 21 июн 2024
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Комментарии • 106

  • @miriamkhlea5375
    @miriamkhlea5375 2 дня назад +2

    Dad passed away at 7 and he was an excellent dad but the most precious gift in my life is our oldest brother (his heir who is only 6yrs older than me) that fathered us like we were his own kids. Imagine embracing father duties at an age of 13 till now, I pray blessings for you every single day Tony.

  • @waanac327
    @waanac327 14 дней назад +35

    Prim looks beautiful 😍

  • @The_Introverted_Pisces
    @The_Introverted_Pisces 14 дней назад +21

    My father wound is too deep. I saw him beat my mum almost every day before they separated when I was 8 years old. I saw him bring the other woman home (whom he married later) before they separated with my mum. I lived with him and the evil stepmother from when I was 13 years old until I finished campus because he was paying for my high school and university. He could not pay for me while I lived with my mum since he was soo narcistic, he wanted to be begged and "worshipped" by us. I experienced direct narcism, emotional and verbal abuse from him through my stay with him.
    From this experience, I became a tough and resilient girl. I believe that I can come out of any situation. I also stand up for myself when disrespected. On the negative side, I am insecure in r/ships coz I am always thinking of the worst. If my own dad treated me badly, what about a stranger whom we are not related?. I also don't like marriages where I will live with the man in the same house. My last r/ship was my first serious and I always felt nervous thinking about marriage. I just fear living with a man in the house. It's a lot but generally, the father wound has had a lot of negatives than positives in my life.

    • @vee3581
      @vee3581 14 дней назад +2

      Awww..im so sorry to hear this. Have you thought about seeking therapy, esp psychotherapy? Please try it out. It will help you navigate managing emotions and trusting people. Good luck to you

    • @The_Introverted_Pisces
      @The_Introverted_Pisces 14 дней назад +1

      @@vee3581 thank you so much. I will definitely seek therapy once I get the finances. I know I need it sooner

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 12 дней назад +1

      I’m so sorrry about the trauma you faced as a child. I too would recommend that you speak to someone about this ordeal.

    • @najunaevelyne674
      @najunaevelyne674 12 дней назад +2

      That's exactly my dad😭, but my mum hasn't moved on but everytime she complains i tell her you've delayed to leave and can leave at any time when ready since our last born is in s.1 (me and mum support her) and my father has never paid for her or even given basic needs , yet in holiday makes her over work in the gardens, as for my other siblings we only got school fees and last minute payments and begging and showing him his a greatest daddy 😭😭basic things and others it was mum and all her efforts to work are always frustrated, he will make sure her business fails,,, The saddest part is the outside world knows him as a rich and kind person who helps people, My last 2 siblings are facing alot atleast the first 2 we spent most of the time at my grand mum and i always refused when he wanted us for hoilday, he would forcefully take us,,, It was better to be with a narcisst grandfather who passed it on to dad(was a village leader and also known as a good and kind person outide) than stay with my own dad. Marriage wasn't in my bucket list, i only wanted peace, i pity guys who dated me, i only needed close frds and the love that i missed. Finally i found a good man who accepted my nooos and accepted me for who am and my new family is the definition of love including my MIL, known him so far 8yrs but still kinder fearing the wedding part. However am healing slowly, self esteem 50% and all the things that come with that trauma

    • @The_Introverted_Pisces
      @The_Introverted_Pisces 12 дней назад

      @@nyonyoziprim I will for sure

  • @ruthnakibuule9620
    @ruthnakibuule9620 14 дней назад +11

    Prim and Claire whenever you are ready please share your health journeys

  • @nyonyoziprim
    @nyonyoziprim 12 дней назад +2

    Thank you for being here.

  • @nelsonkatale398
    @nelsonkatale398 12 дней назад +2

    My late father was a provider but I remember he was emotionally unavailable, too tough, controlling my movements, friends I make, telling me to grow up whenever I’m angry and believing other people over me. As a result, I’m became too tough and short tempered towards my siblings, uncles, aunts and I have hard time connecting with people on a deeper level especially my own mother. I just like to be alone than around people.
    Right now I’m slowly to healing my low self esteem, emotional unavailability, anger issues and toughness.

  • @AgnesNahwera-oe7hv
    @AgnesNahwera-oe7hv 14 дней назад +15

    Kemi is so cute

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 12 дней назад +1

      You’re so kind. Thank you

  • @rebeccaatwiine6603
    @rebeccaatwiine6603 13 дней назад +3

    Oh Prim and Clare, you were blessed with one of unmatchable blessings, an affirming, present, engaged, loving father. It oozes out of your confidence and firmness. You can't settle ofcourse. Your bar is high, you found it high, it was set high by your fathers. God bless their souls❤

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 12 дней назад +1

      Thank you so much my dear, however I personally struggle in my relationships with men and I know there’s a lot of father issues there. Simply because they provided affirmations doesn’t mean that they didn’t become inadequate in other areas. We do struggle and continue to share about these in hope that we make changes. That being said I recognize most of my struggles and I’m working on them. As human being man it’s a continuous journey.

  • @tabithatusi1922
    @tabithatusi1922 5 дней назад

    This is such a breath of fresh air after coming from the Bump Love episode. Thank you!

  • @LindaTinahTV
    @LindaTinahTV 14 дней назад +7

    I agree with what you mentioned that the 'father wound' can manifest itself in different ways. I grew up with a single mum and when I talk about it with other people who grew up in the same situation I see that it affected us in different ways. I have honestly never felt like I missed something but again you can't miss what you don't know. As grow up I am beginning to accept that I might have daddy issues here and there. Something I always called BS on, lol

    • @ronniedenis3844
      @ronniedenis3844 14 дней назад

      Sorry Linda, be strong and positive..things will be well for you in this adult life.

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 12 дней назад

      It manifests differently in each of us, it also takes us a lot of time to recognize it. It takes a self aware person to keep checking themselves, asking questions until they find the deep rooted answer

    • @anonnona6433
      @anonnona6433 12 дней назад

      100%. And you cannot know how that "not missing him" affected you. Because ideally, a child should miss their parent. And the lack of missing them is initself a red flag.🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @LindaTinahTV
      @LindaTinahTV 4 дня назад

      @@anonnona6433 good point

  • @1984tre
    @1984tre 12 дней назад +3

    I wld hv loved in this topic to hv a man or men share their experiences or tell us why they behave the way they do when they create a family. However the show was very insightful.

  • @aggyakuamoah8767
    @aggyakuamoah8767 14 дней назад +1

    "What you do not give your child when raising him/her - he/she will go looking for it in other people."
    This statement is so true.
    Thank you ladies for an enriching conversation. It is also beautiful to see how well you listen to eachother❤🎉❤

  • @lifeofachom
    @lifeofachom 14 дней назад +4

    My dad is the best at providing everything, he would go as far as shop food from the market and bring for me at campus.God am so grateful for that🙏however he was emotionally unavailable,was tough, unapproachable.
    I told myself I need a husband who is my friend, and we can talk about anything.

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 12 дней назад

      Purpose for this and you will genuinely find it. Purpose to speak and share

  • @kababiitomiriam6042
    @kababiitomiriam6042 14 дней назад +4

    Just here to appreciate prim's look❤😊🎉🎉so glam💯🥳

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 12 дней назад

      I’m learning to do my face beats so this is a kind compliment thank you.

  • @unreservedwithjune3217
    @unreservedwithjune3217 13 дней назад +5

    Claire the dress ❤❤❤

  • @patiencekatusiime9056
    @patiencekatusiime9056 14 дней назад +6

    some of us have both mother and father issues

  • @lornatwins9944
    @lornatwins9944 14 дней назад +9

    All children who had silent fathers, hi how are you the world loves you you are beautiful

  • @sandrahkyomuhendo8035
    @sandrahkyomuhendo8035 13 дней назад +2

    My Dad gave me the attention l need. if you have a great father or father figure your confidence is on another level. For some reason you thrive in life weather devil likes it or not. I believe everyone deserves a good father/ figure my pray is for the men of today to step on this particular role. This world will be in a much better state many young men need to be taught certain things because they lack it at home.

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 12 дней назад

      This is amazing. Kudos to your wonderful dad

  • @Pretty1446
    @Pretty1446 14 дней назад +2

    Prim u pulled me with ur look earlier than l would have watched
    U look good with that change of outlook ❤

  • @daphinedash2704
    @daphinedash2704 12 дней назад +1

    Reminds me of The Crown, Prince Phillip and King Charles had this same issue. It is so true and we should really curb it one way or another. Thank you!

  • @JaneFrancesApila
    @JaneFrancesApila 12 дней назад

    Thank you for this episode. This was a very necessary conversation to have.

  • @Njurizirona
    @Njurizirona 12 дней назад +3

    I had the best father(rip) and am still looking forward to marry the man who is like my dad. So help me Lord🙏

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 12 дней назад

      I wish you the absolute best. You deserve it. And that man exists

  • @Lexa256
    @Lexa256 14 дней назад +6

    When growing up i realised that my dad provides. But therw are things that my mom had to bring on the table. Which i think is okay. However there is something that we grew up seeing and that is not asking for things at home. To the extent that even when we needed something while at school, it would be scary to call him and ask. Not that he wouldnt provide but we had this whole mind of we have to jusy handle yhe situation. Now i find it hard to even ask for something from someone i can be dating. Even when they provide, i feel like its a debt and i have to pay back.
    I have been told by mu friends that i need to loosen up and allow the man to do a few things but its hard on my side.

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 12 дней назад

      Oh sis, this is highlighting an issue that a lot of us honestly don’t even look into .. fearing to ask for help, for small things all of it,

  • @user-ps4zy8br3s
    @user-ps4zy8br3s 14 дней назад +3

    hello ba lovelies . love,love ,love your conversations .🥰
    thanks

  • @nyawiragithae
    @nyawiragithae 14 дней назад +3

    The father wound is crippling even for women. If you grow up with fearing your father, you end up fearing authority and it has taken me a long time to be able to stand up for myself in any space. It's something that I feel divided about when I have to.
    Anxiety, depression, self doubt, etc, are some of the effects of a father wound.

  • @rebeccaatwiine6603
    @rebeccaatwiine6603 13 дней назад +1

    beautiful conversation.

  • @erol-20
    @erol-20 14 дней назад +2

    You ladies look so good.
    You inspire me every time.
    Love you ❤️

  • @rawdahnabatanzi1244
    @rawdahnabatanzi1244 14 дней назад +1

    Such a triggering episode, thanks ladies for making us feel sane❤

  • @phoebewasike5397
    @phoebewasike5397 14 дней назад +1

    Eeeish ...you looking good ladies

  • @JaneFrancesApila
    @JaneFrancesApila 12 дней назад

    Claire you ooze confidence!

  • @simisop8778
    @simisop8778 5 дней назад

    Fiona’s outfit❤️

  • @chandanaomi9124
    @chandanaomi9124 14 дней назад +1

    Great episode.
    I heard Prim say pretty privilege and I just screamed 😂because we just need a whole episode on that! Eh

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 12 дней назад +1

      We gotta talk about it 😂

  • @monicndyamuhimbisa2845
    @monicndyamuhimbisa2845 13 дней назад +1

    I love my father,the best human being in my life,my dad my love my everything

  • @realestaterentalsandconstr272
    @realestaterentalsandconstr272 14 дней назад +3

    Very beautiful ladies, I love you shows on RUclips

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 12 дней назад

      Thank you so much for all your support

  • @namutebimukasanissen9916
    @namutebimukasanissen9916 14 дней назад +2

    Hello ladies, happy to see you 😊

  • @allshehasisGod
    @allshehasisGod 14 дней назад +2

    You ladies look amazing
    Prim 😘😘😘

  • @lifeof20yearolds71
    @lifeof20yearolds71 День назад

    Kemi is soo pretty guys

  • @DeDollyshow
    @DeDollyshow 14 дней назад +2

    You ladies look stunning

  • @hilmasimon2887
    @hilmasimon2887 11 дней назад

    You ladies look great, Clare your specs are lovely and looking nice on you. Do you mind sharing with me where i can get such.
    Thank you

  • @Twine256-nx1pl
    @Twine256-nx1pl 13 дней назад +1

    I think the way Justus treats Suubi is really his way of over compensating for not being there and yet still not being honest with her or his family about who he is to her. Now he’s died and thrown her in the deep end of running his empire with crocodiles.
    This conversation was a good one and necessary. Definitely good to have it with men to see how they’re also working through it.

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 12 дней назад

      Yesss it’s over compensating. Do you think that a child ever feels satisfied with this? Like they don’t miss what you didn’t provide ?

    • @Twine256-nx1pl
      @Twine256-nx1pl 7 дней назад

      @@nyonyoziprim I think they definitely miss what could have been even if they have the chance to build a relationship now. And it must be even more painful if their life as children was a difficult one without the dad.

  • @serakim1513
    @serakim1513 12 дней назад

    Dads are always the best

  • @layaniwanfakosebazhangakan4906
    @layaniwanfakosebazhangakan4906 14 дней назад +1

    ❤❤❤

  • @arinaitwebridget4741
    @arinaitwebridget4741 14 дней назад +1

  • @adultspurpose
    @adultspurpose 14 дней назад +1

    Patriarchy is killing our men/ sons.

  • @patriciakashoni4331
    @patriciakashoni4331 14 дней назад +3

    Ladies thanks for the show🎉🎉🎉we really learn a lot and Prim please I would like to know how you lost weight❤❤please

  • @tfa4782
    @tfa4782 14 дней назад +9

    Hey, Are the glitches on my device only? 😢

  • @edie1luv
    @edie1luv 14 дней назад +1

    My Dad never gave me anything and because of that I pick men who don't give me anything. My standards are really low.

    • @Flourish_today
      @Flourish_today 14 дней назад +4

      Oh dear! Girl, set your standards high from now on. Say, " My dad did not give me anything growing up, so I now pick men who go above and beyond." Be intentional.

    • @patiencekatusiime9056
      @patiencekatusiime9056 14 дней назад

      sorry love,but rise them if a man is giving low please his not for you

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 12 дней назад

      I agree with what @flourish_today has said

  • @LindaTinahTV
    @LindaTinahTV 14 дней назад +6

    Is it me or are there bu glitches in the video??

    • @patriciakashoni4331
      @patriciakashoni4331 14 дней назад

      Even mine

    • @vee3581
      @vee3581 14 дней назад

      Yes, static...all their video since their rtn

    • @nyonyoziprim
      @nyonyoziprim 12 дней назад

      There are some, but we are going to fix them especially in the next episode.

  • @VictoriaOluka-qn5zb
    @VictoriaOluka-qn5zb 14 дней назад +1

    At times, whether the dad was good or not, inadvertently girls marry or date men with traits like their fathers.

  • @hallejudy
    @hallejudy 10 дней назад

    Father wound😢
    Personally I don’t want to marry a man like my father

  • @SA-vw4ny
    @SA-vw4ny 14 дней назад +1

    Who is Suubi and Kaaya??