The Father Wound | How it Affects the Men We End up with | The Unpopular Opinion UG
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- Опубликовано: 21 июн 2024
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Dad passed away at 7 and he was an excellent dad but the most precious gift in my life is our oldest brother (his heir who is only 6yrs older than me) that fathered us like we were his own kids. Imagine embracing father duties at an age of 13 till now, I pray blessings for you every single day Tony.
Prim looks beautiful 😍
She copped too much nawe😢
Thank you 🙏
@@nyonyoziprim I just love your new looks .. u look so cute Bambi...
My father wound is too deep. I saw him beat my mum almost every day before they separated when I was 8 years old. I saw him bring the other woman home (whom he married later) before they separated with my mum. I lived with him and the evil stepmother from when I was 13 years old until I finished campus because he was paying for my high school and university. He could not pay for me while I lived with my mum since he was soo narcistic, he wanted to be begged and "worshipped" by us. I experienced direct narcism, emotional and verbal abuse from him through my stay with him.
From this experience, I became a tough and resilient girl. I believe that I can come out of any situation. I also stand up for myself when disrespected. On the negative side, I am insecure in r/ships coz I am always thinking of the worst. If my own dad treated me badly, what about a stranger whom we are not related?. I also don't like marriages where I will live with the man in the same house. My last r/ship was my first serious and I always felt nervous thinking about marriage. I just fear living with a man in the house. It's a lot but generally, the father wound has had a lot of negatives than positives in my life.
Awww..im so sorry to hear this. Have you thought about seeking therapy, esp psychotherapy? Please try it out. It will help you navigate managing emotions and trusting people. Good luck to you
@@vee3581 thank you so much. I will definitely seek therapy once I get the finances. I know I need it sooner
I’m so sorrry about the trauma you faced as a child. I too would recommend that you speak to someone about this ordeal.
That's exactly my dad😭, but my mum hasn't moved on but everytime she complains i tell her you've delayed to leave and can leave at any time when ready since our last born is in s.1 (me and mum support her) and my father has never paid for her or even given basic needs , yet in holiday makes her over work in the gardens, as for my other siblings we only got school fees and last minute payments and begging and showing him his a greatest daddy 😭😭basic things and others it was mum and all her efforts to work are always frustrated, he will make sure her business fails,,, The saddest part is the outside world knows him as a rich and kind person who helps people, My last 2 siblings are facing alot atleast the first 2 we spent most of the time at my grand mum and i always refused when he wanted us for hoilday, he would forcefully take us,,, It was better to be with a narcisst grandfather who passed it on to dad(was a village leader and also known as a good and kind person outide) than stay with my own dad. Marriage wasn't in my bucket list, i only wanted peace, i pity guys who dated me, i only needed close frds and the love that i missed. Finally i found a good man who accepted my nooos and accepted me for who am and my new family is the definition of love including my MIL, known him so far 8yrs but still kinder fearing the wedding part. However am healing slowly, self esteem 50% and all the things that come with that trauma
@@nyonyoziprim I will for sure
Prim and Claire whenever you are ready please share your health journeys
Thank you for being here.
My late father was a provider but I remember he was emotionally unavailable, too tough, controlling my movements, friends I make, telling me to grow up whenever I’m angry and believing other people over me. As a result, I’m became too tough and short tempered towards my siblings, uncles, aunts and I have hard time connecting with people on a deeper level especially my own mother. I just like to be alone than around people.
Right now I’m slowly to healing my low self esteem, emotional unavailability, anger issues and toughness.
Kemi is so cute
You’re so kind. Thank you
Oh Prim and Clare, you were blessed with one of unmatchable blessings, an affirming, present, engaged, loving father. It oozes out of your confidence and firmness. You can't settle ofcourse. Your bar is high, you found it high, it was set high by your fathers. God bless their souls❤
Thank you so much my dear, however I personally struggle in my relationships with men and I know there’s a lot of father issues there. Simply because they provided affirmations doesn’t mean that they didn’t become inadequate in other areas. We do struggle and continue to share about these in hope that we make changes. That being said I recognize most of my struggles and I’m working on them. As human being man it’s a continuous journey.
This is such a breath of fresh air after coming from the Bump Love episode. Thank you!
I agree with what you mentioned that the 'father wound' can manifest itself in different ways. I grew up with a single mum and when I talk about it with other people who grew up in the same situation I see that it affected us in different ways. I have honestly never felt like I missed something but again you can't miss what you don't know. As grow up I am beginning to accept that I might have daddy issues here and there. Something I always called BS on, lol
Sorry Linda, be strong and positive..things will be well for you in this adult life.
It manifests differently in each of us, it also takes us a lot of time to recognize it. It takes a self aware person to keep checking themselves, asking questions until they find the deep rooted answer
100%. And you cannot know how that "not missing him" affected you. Because ideally, a child should miss their parent. And the lack of missing them is initself a red flag.🤷🏽♀️
@@anonnona6433 good point
I wld hv loved in this topic to hv a man or men share their experiences or tell us why they behave the way they do when they create a family. However the show was very insightful.
"What you do not give your child when raising him/her - he/she will go looking for it in other people."
This statement is so true.
Thank you ladies for an enriching conversation. It is also beautiful to see how well you listen to eachother❤🎉❤
Thank you for sharing.
My dad is the best at providing everything, he would go as far as shop food from the market and bring for me at campus.God am so grateful for that🙏however he was emotionally unavailable,was tough, unapproachable.
I told myself I need a husband who is my friend, and we can talk about anything.
Purpose for this and you will genuinely find it. Purpose to speak and share
Just here to appreciate prim's look❤😊🎉🎉so glam💯🥳
I’m learning to do my face beats so this is a kind compliment thank you.
Claire the dress ❤❤❤
Thank you so much 😊
some of us have both mother and father issues
Don’t we all
All children who had silent fathers, hi how are you the world loves you you are beautiful
❤❤❤
Thank you🫂
My Dad gave me the attention l need. if you have a great father or father figure your confidence is on another level. For some reason you thrive in life weather devil likes it or not. I believe everyone deserves a good father/ figure my pray is for the men of today to step on this particular role. This world will be in a much better state many young men need to be taught certain things because they lack it at home.
This is amazing. Kudos to your wonderful dad
Prim u pulled me with ur look earlier than l would have watched
U look good with that change of outlook ❤
Reminds me of The Crown, Prince Phillip and King Charles had this same issue. It is so true and we should really curb it one way or another. Thank you!
Thank you for this episode. This was a very necessary conversation to have.
I had the best father(rip) and am still looking forward to marry the man who is like my dad. So help me Lord🙏
I wish you the absolute best. You deserve it. And that man exists
When growing up i realised that my dad provides. But therw are things that my mom had to bring on the table. Which i think is okay. However there is something that we grew up seeing and that is not asking for things at home. To the extent that even when we needed something while at school, it would be scary to call him and ask. Not that he wouldnt provide but we had this whole mind of we have to jusy handle yhe situation. Now i find it hard to even ask for something from someone i can be dating. Even when they provide, i feel like its a debt and i have to pay back.
I have been told by mu friends that i need to loosen up and allow the man to do a few things but its hard on my side.
Oh sis, this is highlighting an issue that a lot of us honestly don’t even look into .. fearing to ask for help, for small things all of it,
hello ba lovelies . love,love ,love your conversations .🥰
thanks
The father wound is crippling even for women. If you grow up with fearing your father, you end up fearing authority and it has taken me a long time to be able to stand up for myself in any space. It's something that I feel divided about when I have to.
Anxiety, depression, self doubt, etc, are some of the effects of a father wound.
This is true
Yes yes I agree.
beautiful conversation.
You ladies look so good.
You inspire me every time.
Love you ❤️
Thank you 😊
Such a triggering episode, thanks ladies for making us feel sane❤
Eeeish ...you looking good ladies
Claire you ooze confidence!
Fiona’s outfit❤️
Great episode.
I heard Prim say pretty privilege and I just screamed 😂because we just need a whole episode on that! Eh
We gotta talk about it 😂
I love my father,the best human being in my life,my dad my love my everything
This is beautiful
Very beautiful ladies, I love you shows on RUclips
Thank you so much for all your support
Hello ladies, happy to see you 😊
Happy to have you
You ladies look amazing
Prim 😘😘😘
Thank you 😊
Kemi is soo pretty guys
You ladies look stunning
Thank you
You ladies look great, Clare your specs are lovely and looking nice on you. Do you mind sharing with me where i can get such.
Thank you
I think the way Justus treats Suubi is really his way of over compensating for not being there and yet still not being honest with her or his family about who he is to her. Now he’s died and thrown her in the deep end of running his empire with crocodiles.
This conversation was a good one and necessary. Definitely good to have it with men to see how they’re also working through it.
Yesss it’s over compensating. Do you think that a child ever feels satisfied with this? Like they don’t miss what you didn’t provide ?
@@nyonyoziprim I think they definitely miss what could have been even if they have the chance to build a relationship now. And it must be even more painful if their life as children was a difficult one without the dad.
Dads are always the best
❤❤❤
❤
Patriarchy is killing our men/ sons.
Ladies thanks for the show🎉🎉🎉we really learn a lot and Prim please I would like to know how you lost weight❤❤please
Thank you for watching
Hey, Are the glitches on my device only? 😢
I thought it was the internet too .
I thought it was the internet too .
Mine too
Oh we apologize for this. The team will check on this
Mine too
My Dad never gave me anything and because of that I pick men who don't give me anything. My standards are really low.
Oh dear! Girl, set your standards high from now on. Say, " My dad did not give me anything growing up, so I now pick men who go above and beyond." Be intentional.
sorry love,but rise them if a man is giving low please his not for you
I agree with what @flourish_today has said
Is it me or are there bu glitches in the video??
Even mine
Yes, static...all their video since their rtn
There are some, but we are going to fix them especially in the next episode.
At times, whether the dad was good or not, inadvertently girls marry or date men with traits like their fathers.
I agree with you ..
Very much so
Father wound😢
Personally I don’t want to marry a man like my father
Who is Suubi and Kaaya??
Its a local show on DSTV...
Bambi Kaaya passed on..I miss him
It’s a show on dstv .