I’m an unmarried 70 year old woman by choice. Raised with older brothers who beat me up and a father who abused me sexually from 3-6. I became a flight attendant in the early 70’s that job description was basically being subservient to men who were toxic entitled men. (Sorry for the run on sentences). In my 30’s and 40’s people men asked “why aren’t you married “? I really felt like protecting myself from men. I love the idea that women now at least have avenues they can pursue against men who cross the line. The truth is that weak men are terrified of powerful women…thus the violence anger and subjugation of women. Hoping for a brighter future for all women.
I hear you. I was abused by a brother but, you know he's male and if you just avoid him, everything will be OK. Mom came from the same kind of childhood. When I realized how we were taught learned helplessness, I began to forgive the women in my life and then forgive me for bowing to this set of lies about men. Glad my girls are stronger.
I’m 58. Never married. My father thought I was a lesbian & manhater. My brothers never questioned him. One of my brothers is an excellent father to a daughter. I don’t know how he broke the mould. And he wanted a daughter from the beginning.
As soon as the access to jobs, authority, money and other resources is equal, men will be lost and the table will turn since women will be finally independent. The men seem to feel it. Interestingly , there is a trend to restore patriarchy. And the girls and younger women are often not aware of it. They are told that they are free, everything is possible thanks to education but it is not true. They compete with each other instead of closing Iines and notice the extent of discrimination when it is already too late. Feminism has become an insult, a label for unattractiveness etc. If women would understand that attractiveness is no relevant trait, the beauty industry would shrink and women could allocate resources to things that really matters. Ladies, men will always beg for sex and careers based on attractiveness are short lived, so why all this BS?
@@FreeSpace-v9f Why is that a good choice, why can't a man make you happy?? what's You're issue with men?? most men from what I've seen are great & sacrificed many things just for Their women, yet many women do not see it or appreciate it.
This is exactly how it used to be - I was born in 1951 and being female in a patriarchal society felt the same way as racism does. We women were "looked fown on" and everything centred on the mens' hsppiness/contentment. I was deeply resentful even as a child. At 73 years of age I am so glad to have witnessed the change and the future will present a matriarchy, of that I am sure and things will improve all round.
@@elizabethshannon24 I disagree, women were valued, loved and appreciated, seen as precious how were they "looked down upon"?? also everything was never centered around mens "contentment & happiness", people never gave a damn about that & to this day still don't care if a man is happy they only care if a woman is content or happy it's always been that way, that's why men still are held to traditional archaic patriarchal roles & told to accept it to shut up & consider the feelings & experiences of women.
@@elizabethshannon24 I don't think having a matriarchy will really improve things. Women can be just as bad as men. I hope to see a time when both work hand in hand to raise their children as well as respect each other for when one holds power over the other is when abuse will happen.
@@foonlam7134 You're right both genders are responsible & indeed they are, they cooperated so this "patriarchy" wasn't created by men with a evil mustache twirling scheme towards women, it was both genders who both had prejudices & beliefs on how men & women should act I think history is distorted to act as if women were all victims & not pulling the strings & influencing their men & children to go & take part of "the patriarchy".
Bad news: the Bible implies an androgynous or gay man will be the final antichrist. It’s just more misogyny to pretend women are about to destroy the world. Daniel 11:37 Neither shall he regard the God of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all”, (cf. also 1Tim.4:1-3).
I don't think men will ever give up Patriarchy willingly. It will happen as time goes on as women are getting better educated and self supportive. It will morph into a much more equal relationship as time goes on. Men will have to learn to identify as men without putting women in a degraded place. They will no longer use that to feel bigger or better about themselves.
Most men love & care for women that love & care for them, men are great people who will die for you, build you a whole city & go to great lengths to do great things sad you cannot see that.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 >"Most men love & care..." >"Men are great people" Decide on which it is first. Most or all? Bc generalizations for each gender are foolish. It's not all of them.
@@rockinrollin8306 Men typically subconsciously and some purposefully will only hear a mans perspective. Its ingrained through generations of fathers, " head of households" it seems. I know many times Ive given a point of view or a solution to a man and they brush it off to only have another male come say the same thing and its now a good idea.
@@joshiek7839you watch porn that degrades us and you see us as objects .You don’t deserve us or our pity .You are whining about not being treated as a special snowflake by us and then accuse US of self pity ? 🤣😂
@@joshiek7839you’re complaining that we don’t pay attention to your issues when you have been treating us like objects and second class citizens for millennia ? 🤣😂
I am 77 years old and for the first 34 years of my life I lived with Patriarchy and even though I knew in my heart that it was wrong on some level, I thought that was the way things were and I supposed would always be. That was in a small town in Northern Ontario, Canada. Then my husband got a job offer in the Yukon Territory and we moved out to Whitehorse. My word, it was like moving to another dimension or something. In the Territories, if you want to do it and can do it, go do it. I fell head over heels in love with the Yukon. To me it was like a gift from God. I have been in many places in North America since moving to the Yukon ( I got a good job) as did my Husband and we did some traveling and all the places we visited did was make me want to go home to the Yukon. I will be here until I die, get cremated and my ashes spread in the cool North wind. As a cautionary note…this wonderful place is fragile and it is my hope that the up and coming young people here realize what they have and protect it.
After 70 years as a woman navigating the patriarchy, still struggling for every millimetre we take up in the world, I am only now beginning to despair. Thank you for your clear and insightful analysis - and please continue to speak up.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 That was not attitude, she is describing her emotions and state of mind based on her lived experience. This knee jerk invalidating and insinuating that she is not in "reality" clearly show you DO NOT belong to that category of good men you referring to
@@GoldieBrown-pc6mb Dude I don't care about being "a good man" cause Society & not all but some Women reward bad men while acting like women are somehow morally Superior & so heroic Utter Bs, also I'm Not invalidating Anything I'm questioning Her cause I cannot just Believe her without hard Evidence people lie constantly.
@@theodorathompson2034 How are you navigating the "Patriarchy"?? What even is The patriarchy?? most men don't have power is that's What you mean, only a few Men do.
@@GoldieBrown-pc6mb Dude Im not invalidating anything I'm just questioning her & the guy in the videos beliefs about this so Called "Patriarchy" cause I don't Buy into it.
For thousands of years (basically all of “civilization”) there has been an implicit social contract, which is patriarchy. “If you respect your place in the (male) hierarchy, obey your betters, show up ready to fight when called up to war then you are entitled to a free slave (wife)”. Sometimes you even get paid (dowry) to take this slave. You can treat this property however you see fit (including murder and torture). If you (men) keep up your part, we (male led society) will enforce this bargain on women by legally restricting them, to such a degree that they cannot survive without being owned by a man. This social contract has been torn up, in most of the west in the last 50 years. In response some men are angry and behaving violently, and women (finally realizing they are free and can flourish without an owner) are opting out of interacting with those angry, violent men. Which makes this subset of men more violent.
@@dharma6481 Everything you said I believe is False, men loved women also did women not have power too?? you act as if all women were just victims & every man is a Boogeyman that just oppressed them for no Reason then "power or control" It's completely 1-sided and viewing men as pure evil men were oppressed as Well.
@@dharma6481 "These subset of men" live in You're head they are caricatures and you do not understand why things happened in the past both Genders cooperated, you act as if no man did anything good and as if all women are victims & had No power, so there were no queens or mothers with influence everything You're saying is just incorrect.
T he patriarchal man is also egotistic and out of touch with Nature's times and seasons, with her rhythms. He has a distorted relationship with birth and death, both of which fall within the mother's area of life: he hides birth from society's eyes, and views death as a personal enemy to men. His talk of "real life" reflects his male-centric focus on life in which women's experiences and history for instance, is silenced and buried. He is used to the social spotlight being on him, and today with this spotlight moving more towards women, he feels neglected and aggrieved.
@@LuxBro-um2fu they are trying to portray stuff that happened 100's of years ago like it still matters. Sure in medevil times women where over shadowed by men but i think most men dont give two cents about it. They say women are reacting to generational putting down when in reality its a bs excuse to be a misandrist. Men are reaction towards the hate today not 500 years ago. These people are intolerabe morons. Also wheres the Equality in doing the same to men as what supposedly happended to these hypocrate misandrists?
I'm from India and people here follow patriarchal ideas. I'm a guy who is empathetic and ethical by nature which have made me constantly at odds with the existing system. I support women rights since my childhood and support LGBTQ rights even before I knew about these concepts. It was part of my nature. But I considered my nature as a weakness for a long time. But reading books and understanding evolutionary psychology enabled me to understand myself better. And now in the recent weeks I am understanding the root cause which is PATRIARCHY. Glad to see a guy's perspective about this topic. One good thing you talked about is the plight of so called weaker men in a patriarchal system which even feminists aren't talking about that much.
More men should talk about that for sure! Especially the men who experience it. Feminist have their plates pretty full as it is, navigating in a patriarchal society, & advocating for women as a woman.
It was never weakness it was strength! strength to see beyond the bs fed to you. We would be enjoying an advanced civilization if more men were like you. But today the best thing is for MEN to speak up and join the fight for the truth/ justice/evolution
@gowtham7231 dude I'm in India currently. The men are happy being in charge and the women are happy staying in their own lane. Patriarchy is what built civilisation without it we wouldn't be this advanced
Yet even as the high-ranking men rake in all the benefits of their status, they still seem so ridiculously fragile. Their combination of fragility and violence is terrifying. Thanks for this great analysis!
Well done. I taught sociology of gender classes for years, and this is one of the best short definitions of "toxic masculinity." I would definitely use this video in class.
Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better. It’s not to shake the people who are already awake; it’s to shake those who still aren’t and would not listen. That’s all I will say. Things will be okay. Keep your loved ones close.
Answering a question on Facebook I stated that having a father give away his daughter was about ownership. I only used the one word. I had a father attack me because he claimed that for him it was about protection and love for his daughter. I briefly explained why it wasn't my experience. So for days he continued to attack me because he was the protector of women. He finally stopped after I pointed out that he was not protecting me, a woman, but rather attacking me, belittling me, demonizing me and trying to shut me down. I suspect that he had no idea how he was behaving but rather he felt attacked. Thank you for trying to wake society up.
I feel like you have coloured in more of the picture of why girls and women are brought up to be pleasing and put our own needs behind others and specifically men. Seeing how this fits into patriarchy is so helpful. Thank you.
Don't know why but how about adopting an approach of meeting people as unique souls first than all the compartmentalizing and labeling that happens sometimes. We can approach animals like this too, as souls. Bringing in the perspective of past lives as souls having been both women and men in all scenarios and dynamics and karma, I wonder if would smooth feathers if contemplated about. Appreciate your full sensitivity, spectrum and scope and freedom of expression!
Likely due to my mother's experiences, I wasn't raised that way, so thought and acted differently (authentically) from the women you describe. Have been punished ever since. 😅
Just men gaslighting women! How sad that in order to feel like a 'real' man they believe it is their god given right to order females around and keep us in our place! BTW who was it that decided God made females inferior to males and that we must obey them?It must have appeared in the Bible perhaps the trump Bible? The trump Bible written(concocted) by the exact same men that this talk was directed at! Females are still experiencing flogging in 2024 in many different forms!
My daughter was jailed 4 times because she knocked my son in law's phone out of his hand. He was videotaping her constantly. His lawyer suggested that he get her to flip out. That he could get a domestic charge on her. He did, and the police helped him terrorize her and their children. She was put in jail so much, because he would tell her it was OK to come see the kids. When she arrived to see her children, he started filming her with his phone and called the police. He had a protective order on her. This went on until me and her father had to come help. Her lawyer purposely did nothing to help her. We found out later that her lawyer was a father's rights lawyer. So in the end she had to pay 3,000 dollars in back child support to him and the state. Then we had to pay her husband/abuser 27,000, because he was on the deed and not the mortgage. Then he hit her with his truck. The police took her to the ER and he was arrested. But the judge let him go and the county attorney dropped the charges. They felt that the video she had wasn't sufficient evidence. It got her home back and joint custody, that is all. He then moved in with his girlfriend. If we had not helped our daughter, pay her abuser, she would be homeless. She has to work three jobs right now to pay the back child support she owes. They are currently garnishing her wages. She took home 119 dollars for two weeks after they garnished her wages. No apology or restitution, just a big huge F you.
I am a very self-aware woman and yes, I have spent my life fighting against this patriarchal system, along with many other women. I am a writer now and will change the world of patriarchy in my stories. Thanks for a great introduction to patriarchy Alexander 🍎
Also I can understand your friend wanting to protect his son from the poisonous kick backs in this patriarchal society. It takes a lot of talking as our children grow up, and constant awareness, and open communication. A challenging task. Not passing it on is probably the best task of parenthood.
Oh! That's incredible! I love writers who write with narratives that revolve around subverting patriarchal tropes! I would love to read some of your works! ❤
The 1st rule of the patriarchy, is don't talk about the patriarchy. Some men deny it even exists, & some deny that they have any privilege. Conveniently, blaming women for the unrealistic unachievable standards that a patriarchal society expects from them. It's why men invented religion, to maintain power & control. How do we urgently speed up evolution?
How many women you know, are breadwiners for their men and children? How many women you know, pay alimony to fathers with children? How many women are drafted now to army, and how do they perform? Do they fulfill the same standards as men or are the standards separate? 🤔
@@Wargulpartalthe only answer to that question that would make you happy would be none. The better question is why are you comparing yourself to women. Who you guys have said over and over again they are beneath you.
@@herelookinatu The feminist try to play victimhood Olympics and establish themselves as an ultimate victors of that game, making their perceived victimhood the token highest moral highground. I found this tactic dishonest and lacks nuance, if not any remote grasp of reality. Feminism is a supremacy movement targeting its hate and grievence at all men (hence "patriarchy"), making them a favorite scapegoat for all evil of the world and all women failings, ignoring fact that men provided all civilized goods, prosperity and safety, and all of it thanks to traditional male talents and virtues condemn by feminist as "toxic". It's beyond unfair, dishonest, injust, counterproductictive and dare I say suicidal on global scale. For leftists diversity is only skin deep, as if people born the same amd must behave the same way always. Equity and sameness, being the leftists fetish called "egalitarism", require limit of individual action and choice to even try pull this of. Need establisment of socialism. But socialism is a bedrock of totalitarism and tyranny. Socialism promising free stuff, guaranteed access to wares and services, conveniently omitts in its propaganda the necessessity of slavery providing those goods, which leftist call "rights". It never will stop being true to say, those who trade freedom for safety, will not be free nor safe. But the women, being solipsystic as they are, they give in the temptation for promised safety. This is what Adam and Eve parable told about: subjective morality, magical thinking, gnosticism... Evil can't create new things, only steal and corrupt what is created by good. So does all the good fruits of patriarchy being spoiled by feminism in the name of "inclusivity" and "tolerance", which are codenames for mediocrity, envy and grievance.
I know many many women who are breadwinners. Men pay alimony because men still are better rewarded by society and women are still expected to stay home with the kids. There is no draft. Women are not the warriors. Men are. Because men are the ones that start the evil wars. If women were in charge, there would be no wars. There you go. A little logic goes a long way.@@Wargulpartal
@@herelookinatuwhy is he comparing himself to women? Umm because that's the loosely discussed topic here? Lol. What he says is true. As a matter of fact women have more privileges than men. And to be honest "patriarchy" has giving you the platform to speak against it whether you wanna believe that or not. Patriarchy has built the world around you. You benefit from "patriarchy". It is what it is.
Will tell you what patriarchy did to me: my grandfather married my grandmother for her dowry. My grandmother her entire life served my grandfather. My mother was raised in a secluded environment because she was a woman. The same she did to me. I was forbidden from dating forbidden from having friendships going out. The only thing i was allowed and obliged was to study so i can advance socialy cause that s what my mother wanted. And in general i had to obey my parents. I was called immoral by my mother cause i wanted to date. Till this day i am 45 year old now she does not let me have a boyfriend. She does not let me have kids unless it is with someone rich or educated. My parents have broken off an engagement in my late 20s and called in the house of my boyfriend in my 20s or ring my doorbell for hours to see if i was inside with a boyfriend in my 40s. The situation with her will never stop and i wish God will bring me a kid somehow so i have family too. Also my last boyfriend s family his dad and grandma were telling him to cheat on me use me and dump me as his grandma was telling him because i was older than him and that i will make autistic kids as she was saying to him. Aka the notion of men only going with younger women the notion of women must not have sex cause if they do they are immoral beings the notion women must stay at house and be obidient has destroyed my life and my mental health
Im so sorry this happen to you and so many women have bought into this an treat there daughters like second class citizens its very sad our own mothers will harm us so bad, we have to dismantle patriarchy we women have to because men really dont care.
Look at the bright side. Read "Bad men: the roots of sexual deception" by David Buss and you will find that your life, if you would have gotten pregnant buy a broke/poor/stupid/lazy man would have been far worse. Most men are ephebophiles anyways.
It's all about narcissism. Power and control through manipulation. Patriarchy is also related to not dividing the family estate and property. The first born got it all in old times. Nowadays, most narcissistic men are the ones who hate feminism the most and they are usually right wing, fascists or incels. They don't want to lose their privileges.
Narcissism in women often takes form of borderline (women are diagnosed more often than men with this form). In other words: it is dihonest to contribute narcissism/toxicity with only one gender.
@@melm295 Yes, it does, just diffrent form. Grandiose narcissism belong to cluster B personality disorders with histrionic and borderline. Grandiose form is mostly diagnosed in men, borderline form in women, both sexes can manifest both forms. According to dsm.
Firstborn son got the lagacy in past, because, there was no contraception and paternity tests before. It is more propable, that firstborn son is biological of husband. Men want taking care of their biological offspring before anyone else. If women thinks it should not be the case, let me propose an offer: Let your newborn child be separated fromyou after birth, and accept the child of stranger for adoption. If you don't accept that offer, then stop calling patriarcjal men "toxic" and "narcissistic".
I cannot tell you the brain ache my mind gets having a man that looks like you speak in this way. It's so GOOD but so rare that it kind of makes my brain hurt a little as I'm so not used to seeing male faces or hearing male voices model and speak in his way. Nobody will want to admit this as it is very taboo but I garuntee there are women who are your age watching this that think you're hot just because you see us as humans who are your equal. i think that is a part of the patriachy that goes overlooked --womens tendency to find men who are allies very attractive. Wow, I really needed this today.
It’s so sad for me as a woman. I’ve been sexually assaulted many times by those kind of men. It really hurt me and I still struggle and have to work on myself REALLY HARD because of it. But to be fair, I’m glad to be a woman. We (most of us) don’t look at people as less human, we’re empathetic and we’re able to show emotions, which is very human🙂 and yet, we’re looked at as less human. How crazy is that? 😉
( By most of us) you mean women right?? I hate to disappoint you but you're defintley wrong, also I'm sorry you had that happen to you those people that did that to you aren't men they are bad people from a fallen state.
I disagree women are not looked at as "lower humans" that's a lie, men most defintley did see women as that & put their lives on the line for women that indeed is seeing People as human.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 Hi there and thank you. Yes, I said most of us (women). It’s definitely both genders but unfortunately a lot of unhealed men treat women as „something” they can touch, comment on, catcall… and then women start seeing themselves as those objects as well. Just look what’s going on online, look at social media like Instagram or TikTok, look at porn. I think it’s very sad. And I didn’t say that all men are bad. I have a partner who is a great man. But I still struggle with how I see myself and I work very hard on it because of how unhealed men treated me in past. Also strangers. If you’re a good man, please don’t take to yourself what I said above.
@@pattataj It's not only men that act that way Yes some do, but women do this as well me & people closest to Me were both treated bad by some women who couldn't Keep their hands to themselves.
Always appreciate when I see a man who’s done/doing the work of unpacking patriarchy, and teaching other men about it too. Thank you. As a woman, I’ve had patriarchy mansplained to me by patriarchal man (I prefer to say that rather than toxic) and it’s maddening that they can’t see it and deny it even exists sometimes ! Hopefully in generations to come things will improve but so many get indoctrinated fully without their knowledge. Cultlike. But it lives and breathes in all of us unless we unpack it.
What exactly is wrong with patriarchy?? it's made society great & gave women equal rights and advanced technology, built Housing and better living conditions are you saying all that is bad??
@@Leonhart_93 Bruh the patriarchy was meant To be about love & protection Not calling anyone "inferior" don't project that on others Cause misandrist women think men as such, don't lower yourself to their level.
@@Leonhart_93 That attitude only makes you as bad as the sexist women in these Comment sections, the patriarchy was never a tool for oppression it was something women & men made, to survive.
Being seen as SUCCESSFUL also includes $$ by inheritance. I think that’s important. I appreciate you saying that we find our sexism popping up at surprising times. I want to add racism also. I think that’s part of the patriarchy as well. I am a psychotherapist myself and I both appreciate this professionally and personally.
I appreciate you talking about this, but you didn't really get down to the root. There are some very interesting feminist books that discuss this, but it very obviously has to do with reproduction and reproductive power over women (as well as their sexuality- the two go hand in hand). E.g. men try to exert extreme dominance over women to ensure that women only bear their children (even though 1 in 25 fathers, as of today, still has, unbeknownst to them children that are not theirs). It's interesting to me that you made the definition of patriarchy all about men, even though patriarchy is more like an obsession with women and the control men long to have over them. Toxic masculinity is a way for men to enforce other men to control women.
Lions kill cubs that aren’t theirs. What you describe of men’s behavior sounds tame by comparison; and just as rational. I can see why women don’t like it, but I also see why men do it… but if things are really as you say, it is merely a power struggle: in which case there is little incentive for men to enable female ‘freedom’, and (more crucially) no moral ground from which women can demand it either. Just war.
Men are also afraid of women. Deep down they know that women have a power and a connection to the life force and its nurturing, creative forces. Not that men would ever want to understand it or have it themselves because control, violence and destruction are their own superpowers and are much more fun and interesting to them. Sorry but this is just how primitive the things we're discussing are.
This subject has many roots another one I feel is the inability of men to produce life and this is why they created a male god. Religion is the foundation to which patriarchy justifies its rule.
If I remember back, the current trend of promoting and celebrating this aggressive male behavior has only become intensely attractive again with the advent of global social media communication. Just as all kinds of idiotic conspiracy ideologies are spread through these media. In the past, this was more of a "barroom talk" among men, some of whom later laughed at this nonsense together with their wives.
I find that women tend to uphold patriarchy. The system wouldn't work if women didn't support it. Once women as a collective challenge it, then things will change.
It needs time to find the balance. You can't change the world from one day to the other as it hadn't changed out of the sudden before. It is a process. I don't support patriarchy for example, but I am one of billions.
I agree with this. Some (not all) woment buy right into the idea that women should have a secondary role to men. This is especially prevalent in religious communities. We have met the enemy and it is us.
Some women are even more diehard supporters of patriarchy than the general men. As women they tend to actually be able to recognize the existence of the system, while some men can’t even see the injustices for they aren’t the ones who face the constant suppression (I’m still seeing men being confused and frustrated about this “feminism thing” that seems in their eyes come into existence for no good reasons-because they simply can’t see what is the problem). The women who defend patriarchy could be straight up cruel to other women who aren’t willing to submit to the system. They’re more like knowing compliance compared to men who are most likely proud ignorant (either intentionally or unintentionally)
This was really helpful. I'm now learning more about the history of payriarchy. I'm 72, was 5th child of subservient housewife. She took her hidden anger a d negative feelings out on me, and let an older, violent/ narcissistic sister and path liar pick on me. Still healing, but helped others as adult. I didn't realize i felt some ranking as a single parent, along with the empty nest syndrome, after my son got married, i did feel a lack of importance for awhile, but have adjusted, and reprogrammed priorities. Thanks for this episode. I'm glad there's more openness and awareness now.❤
Hey Alexander! Where are you sourcing/citing your information from? It would be super cool if you could provide some information/links! Great video! Thank you for providing it in such a digestible and open-minded manner!
I like when you said that the more you're aware of this patriarchal system depends on your place in the system. Your unbiased view is refreshing. Thank you.
I hope that men watching this realize just how corny and ludicrous this ideology is! Hearing him go down the list of what a “man” should be is hilarious because we all know this crap is not what men are naturally. I feel confident in saying that 99% of men know that and also think this type of ideology is ludicrous. The problem is the fragile egos this ideology creates and therefore gets passed on. Men just need to stop letting this antiquated and ridiculous narrative define them. What makes a good man? The same thing that makes a good woman. Do you have integrity? Are you honest? Do you have empathy for your fellow humans? Are you not a bigot ? Do you have a life? Meaning, do you have interests that bring you joy and happiness. Being “successful” is so subjective. You can be “successful” and still be a loser and having money doesn’t ensure you’re not a- hole! Men are naturally more emotional than women are. This is easily observed in male babies and children. They cry more, get over stimulated and need more nurturing than their female counterparts. The reason so much aggression is expressed is because of the denying of all the other emotions. Each person will bring to the table their inherent gifts. Those gifts are not determined by your gender.
My ex was like this. Very abusive, controlling, thought very low of women and if he had a female manager he would end up getting fired because he couldnt handle them telling him what to do. He said women were stupid etc. He grew up watching his mother belittle his dad and i remember him saying he never wanted to be spinless like him. Everyone thinks he is wonderful on the outside. I have certainly seen this in the workplace too, as a female manager ive even had hand written notes telling me i cant tell them what to do... so disempowered. Its damaging to everyone. If there are ways to help everyone in this cycle, that would be great
So a man who endured buse from women with power in his formative years has trouble with women with power over him? Or trouble with similar toxic feminism? Just for clarification.
@I-md6mq he did have abuse from his childhood but that isn't an excuse to abuse others and it doesnt mean the females he then abuses as a result deserve it. Everyone is responsible, male and female, for healing themselves so they don't project their pain and biases of the other sex, onto others. For example he also was abusive to his daughter and me. It says that he has an issue with women generally from that unhealed part of him.I hope that helps
So he's the bad guy in you're eyes?? I think he's just adopted his mother's badness, you become who you hate, I don't think he has a "low view of women" whatever that means he's just become his mom & his dad.
Patriarchy is entitlement to physical existence and needs of security, food and sex. Some forms of patriarchy are politics, democracy, religion, white supremacy, tribalism, capitalism, colonialism, Freemasonry, slavery and imperialism. Patriarchy controls labs, science, research, technology, society, economics and psychologically manifests as Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, Psycopathy and Narcissism. If you don't submit to their interpretation and organization of truth, like university degrees, they disqualify you for life and personal creativity. Patriarchy is when men live by their Suprachaismatic nucleus and amygdala brains of violent regulation of physical satisfaction.
Men working together for effective protective and aggressive violence benefited the whole community. That did come at the ecpense of women and some men. This presentation appropriates women's grievances in the service of beta makes. This is not about empowering women but yo unseat dominant makes and take their place.
@@inetstrydom8787 yeah, it benefitted white people against innocent Afrikans. That's why Pope Nicolas V sanctioned slavery and colonialism. Toxic Patriarchal Masculinity, Narcissism.
There is some pretty staunch male black power on women too, there are also black free masons you know?!! Biggest thing is for us females of all color, were the first slaves and traded as livestock. Raped and pillaged, burned at stakes. We need to pull together, no matter our color of skin, it's only an organ to protect our bodies. But our hearts and spirits for thousands of generations have been under a type of dominion that needs to end, for males to grow and their spirits be changed, we too must be open to fostering those trying to develop and rewire. Of course with boundaries.
Wow. As a girl who always knew she was getting the short end, all I can say is wow. Thank you for telling me that was self awareness. It's been very painful but I stole their knowledge so good for me!🎉
I didnt hear a more sensible and coherent explanation about masculinity, patriarchy, and femininity (even if its a little bit) until now. Thank you. I think i need to listen to the video again to sement this im my brain
From 20:37 to 20:58, it says it all! 👏 .. I have a question, please @21:00 Please address to us where in the Qura'n it's stated that women should serve men! Thank you
All these older women in the comments talking about the abuse they endured and how it led them to avoid marriage proves that it’s not just the ‘nasty modern day feminists who are and out to destroy families’ claiming that they’ve been victims of misogyny.
Thanks. I do think the root of misogyny is the hard realisation of little boys (3 years) when they discover that the one power they admired and worshipped the most (because they depended on her) their mother is not all that in society and even worse that they themselves are a different kind of humans. They must force themselves to have an identitiy that is not feminine. Hence they develop a fractured self and a fractured look on women: the whole woman as an individual souvereign identity is too scary so she must fit into a certain role: mother, virgin, whore. And society hands that to the boys. But now, this moment in time things can change. I also am convinced that the antidote to this absence of whole object permanency is for men to come in touch with their feelings, their pain, their hearts. For they are the most fractured ones. They operate from their brain and groins and what could be the binding factor, the heart comes last. Women do not need allies. Women need men who open their hearts to other men, their children, themselves. Respect for women will automatically follow.
Hats off to you, Alexander for your brave and brilliant work! 🎉❤ 👏 I am so glad to hear your wise words because I am sick and tired of toxic masculinity, misogyny and patriarchy. What's worse, this has been so I grained in psychology that it causes even more damage for patients of un-evolved psychologists. I thank God for people like you who understand what it means to be a Real Man versus being a caricature of a man (a male). I can honestly say that patriarchy and toxic masculinity is a root of all oppression for all the groups of people, including immigrants and people with disabilities. Thank you so much for your beautiful and much needed work as it brings true Hope for more evolved Humanity and a better world for all of us pray 🙏 🌎🌍 Sending you blessings from the USA and from Poland, too! 😊
@@elongatedmanforever1252 All very true, but the institution of patriarchy has had its day and is no longer viable in the modern world. Every brain and pair of hands is needed to navigate life, and relegating half the population to a subservient role is destructive.
The difficulty in defining patriarchy stems from the fact that its insiduous destructive influence affects so many aspects of society...as you astutely describe. And dont ignore the worse trait of all: narcissism.
Yes, I have. And I am on a tight rope, the seeing men as dangerous. I thought before I shift my mindset to stay safe, I am going to learn about it first before I make my mind up. This will be part of my healing to learn WHY because I'm starting to blame myself.
My husband joined a cult that taught him you can cheat through astral projection. That is NOT my fault, never will be, but I know when Christ comes calling for them He will say “I never knew you.”
Dr Carol Gilligan and Naomi Snider's research around why this is still going on, because humans are wired to resist infection, something damaging. They have RUclips videos and interviews around their findings and book "Why Does Patriarchy Persist?" . I am so glad this is being discussed by men, now too. Thank you for your courage and leadership...as Dr. Jackson Katz has pointed out in his work. The importance of pointing out patriarchy, the bystander approach.
I have another experience of patriarchy and masculinity: my grandfather was born in a small italian village and started working as he was 12 and retired at 65. He was working in a factory but every morning he was waking up at 4 since he had to take care of his animals ( chickens, rabbits, turkeys , geese,pidgeons) and his relativly small field where he cultivated potatoes, wheat, grapes , olive trees etc.after work he used to spend a couple of hours in the field and whith his animals again. When he retired he started working no stop in his fields,even on sunday managing to increase their yields exponentially. My grandmother was taking care of the house . She was coocking and cleaning. My grandfather never raised his voice against her. He used to call her " my Queen" and he treated her as such.She was yelling at him all the times. He never screamed back. Not a single time.My father started working at 14 and managed to have a good career. He was working no stop. My mother was an housewife and took care of my father and of their children quite well. My father never raised his voice against my mother. He always showed the utmost respect towards her and other women.She was constantly yelling at him even if she loved him.He never complained. This is the experience I have with patriarchy. I never raised my voice against a woman, I never hurt one. A couple of times I risked my life to protect women I did not even know. I just did what my father and my granfather would have done in the same circumstances. This is my experience of patriarchy and masculinity. I tried to follow the example of my father and grandfather: I worked hard and I got married because I was in love. My ex wife was quite successful as well even if I earned 5 times more than her. She wanted a villa with swimming pool. I bought her one. She wanted to go out and eat in expensive reastaurants almost every evening. I did it. She wanted exotic vacations. I took care of that. I did her foot massage every single night, even when I was completely exhausted from work. I never raised my voice against her, I never criticised her. In exchange she was constantly insulting and yelling at me. When she started cheating on me I divorced whitout even blaming her. I took the entire responsibility of our failure as a couple.I am still an old fashioned gentleman, and I am thankfull to my humble but strong father and and grandfather because they showed me by example how to be a man and how to respect women. Even when they do not respect you.
@@dainagrn7030 you are right, totally right. But I was ( and partially still I am ) deeply influenced by the experiences I had in my family. For me being a man meant to be strong , protective and responsible. Even if my ( russian ) wife was abusing me I wrongly assumed that she had just a bad temper and that I was strong enough to stand her. Eventually when I was divorcing her she was chasing me and she told me " I love you because you have the balls to leave me ". I always had balls, but she did not notice them since I was kind and patient with her. Now I am happily divorced, I take good care of my kids and have a good life. My bad experience with my ex wife did not impact on my behavior vis a vis other women. I still behave as a gentleman, in every circumstances. But I will never be abused again. And you are right, many Italians of my generation are extremely kind with their women. Sometimes too much.
@DiogenesNephew my father and grandfather were highly respected by their community. My grandfather fought 5 years first in the italian army in Russia and in the Balkans, then as a freedom fighter against the Germans. My father started working when he was 14 and became later a successful manager.They both could not care less about women rants and antics, they just ignored them. Arguing with them was considered as arguing with a 3 years old child: a waste of time.They let them rule in the domestic space, but they obviously took all the important decisions.This model is obsolete of course, but it worked well for women, who were always protected, and satisfied since they felt important at home, and for men, who were basically living outside for working and other activities and came back home just for dinner. Men and women were living parallel lives, with little or not interference in the respective spaces. This was patriarchy in Italy and in other mediterranean countries. Each gender had a specific role in society, but there was no widespread gender violence since hitting a woman was considered a dishonorable act.
@DiogenesNephew indeed. I just wanted to show that the patriarchal society in Italy was quite protective of women. The division of roles was very strict : women stayed home and men were living outside for work and other activities. But domestic violence was rare because hitting a women was considered a dishonorable act. Paradoxically, men were quite linient with their wives as long as they accepted their role, and could not care less about their antics. They just ignored them. Once I asked my grandfather why was si standing my grandma's rants. He answered that arguing with a woman is like arguing with a 3 years old child. A waste of time.
If you go door to door in our nation and talk to citizens about domestic violence, almost everyone will insist that they do not support male violence against women, that they believe it to be morally and ethically wrong. However, if you then explain that we cannot end male violence against women by challenging patriarchy, and that means no longer accepting the notion that men should have more rights and privileges than women because of biological difference or that men should have the power to rule over women, that is when the agreement stops. There is a gap between the values they claim to hold and their willingness to do the work of connecting thought and action, theory and practice to realize these values and thus create a more just society.” ― bell hooks, All About Love: New Visions
@@rwalters5803 nice quote. But it does'nt explain why Italy, Greece and Poland, which are quite traditionalist, patriarchal countries, have a femicide rate much lower than in the UK , in Germany and in the Scandinavian countries. The official statistical data are available online and they speak for themselves: obviously correlation is not causation but the only conclusion we can draw is that in more socially advanced european countries , where the gender equality is almost reached, more women are killed by men than in backwards european countries.
giant businesses have found that a lack of women in management loses them profits. they pump women into management to keep their businesses running smoothly. That profit lever will change the world. women keep businesses open and running. Large businesses have figured this out.
Typical feminist response. Women can never do wrong in your eyes because you're so brainwashed. You can't accept the fact that men and women are not supposed to be equal. You probably don't even identify as a woman anyway. Some kind of "non binary... insert, insert insert" type of thing the lgbtqwysdtam community got you to believe.
I always assumed patriarchy comes from Christianity, toxic masculinity comes from competition among men, and misogyny comes from dating or marrying women.
I have heard about the patriarchy for years. always described like a puff of smoke that makes things bad. well, it is hard to fight mist, and wouldn't you seem silly for doing so?. this is the first time I have heard a description that made any sense. 20 years people around me have discussed this. 1st time it was understandable.
It's a challenging life for everyone, men included. I specifically dislike the term toxic masculinity which is, thankfully, beginning to be frowned upon nowadays.
I feel our view of masculinity has caused some of the issues trans people have. If you are male and sensitive it has ment that you are les masculine but that is so untrue. It only appears that men are not sensitive when a real man should be able to show there sensitive side and there is nothing wrong with it and to me it makes them more of a man to have the strength and bravery to show their sensitivity.
The problem is also to do with the women who support and promote this type of patriarchy behaviour. Like when I was growing up, I was told I was useless as I was female and worthless since women marry out and don't bring any benefits to their family.
@@elongatedmanforever1252woman and girls DO enforce it, but I think that it's not as visible to men in the perspective of someone, anyone, who appreciates femininity over masculinity
@@Starufoji it's not visible to men because they've been told that mostly everything falls on them, not women so women supporting anything is usually blamed on men themselves.
When speaking on patriarchy it is just as important to talk about misandry as it is misogyny. The reasons for this is that the patriarchy puts expectations of behaviour and hatred when members break expectations, on both genders. Also, women who benefit fro patriarchy of which there are many, enforce standards onto men as well. And finally, it is patriarchy to put undue expectations on men to change in the first place. This is just the danger protectionism of women and enforcement of men that we are trying to get away from. Ironically, I'm many ways we are just moving closer to a patriarchy by placing these assumptions on both genders.
Oh my gosh :( I just made a post on my local Reddit about two men trying to grope and hug me on my morning walk and random Men doing nothing and even giving him money afterwards and I mostly got discrediting comments calling me crazy or giving props to these men
Even though there are more and more prominent women in films, they still portray strong women through the lens of patriarchy. That’s not good either. Being emotional is still seen as weakness.
hmm if a "strong female character" is basically only the one that takes on masculine characteristics doesn't that mean that there's no other way for women to be strong?
@@elongatedmanforever1252 just like sigma, alpha or anything like that is, concepts disproven by science, yet so many men swear on it. It's just astrology with a primarily male following, a power fantasy promising greatness and superiority.
14:20 What TV were you watching though? Every male figure on TV I saw was kind and did his best to help people: Hardcastle and McCormick Katts and Dog Columbo MacGyver The Incredible Hulk (when he wasn't hulking out - which was always thought of as a bad thing) Frickin Fred Flinstone Don Johnson in Miami Vice Inspector Wexford in Ruth Rendell Mysteries Dr. Who I could go on. You're describing the villains in all those TV series. You've got it backwards, sir.
I agree with some of your points, but I don’t understand why you keep making reference to trans people. Trans are an extremely powerful group, who have the authority to direct policy, legislation, and even language. This is pertinent to biological adult males, who identify as women. That is a perfect definition of toxic masculinity, yet you continue to describe them as weaker members of society.
Luckily for me my man thinks women are superior to men (in the sense of intellectual and emotional intelligence). I disagree with him but it gives us the basis of a balanced life.
@MirrorminD1989 No it's not, most men are benevolent & Did many great things You really got to stop acting like Masculinity is bad, like women do no wrong?? C'mon now.
@MirrorminD1989 id say it's "toxic femininity" but I don't believe in blaming Masculinity, femininity for bad behavior when it's the individuals behavior that's at fault.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 where tf did I say that masculinity is bad? It's not masculinity. It's the men who think they're above everyone and everything! They forgot that these men sucked on their mama's titties before they became the "superior alpha king"😅 and of course, many traits of women are utterly destroying and toxic as well.
Very true, thank you so much. How tragic that with patriarchy, men can never grow up, mature and become true human beings. The biggest failure of mankind. Glorifying violence, insensitivity oppression and great ignorance.... frankly.... this is where it got us. Great job, wish more men and women awake to toxic masculinity.
"How tragic that with patriarchy, men can never grow up, mature and become true human beings" - If you have a loving father, big brother or other males of that sort around you, you would see that they are loving, and caring human beings. That disproves your view of "patriarchy", doesn´t it?
@felixklauk4410 You're making a lot of assumptions there which displays how out of touch you really are with women's lived experiences. If you wanted to know how women experience men you'd ask. Do you have the courage to do that?
@@NonyaSmith Common sense would tell you that not all women's "experiences" arent all 100% fact, cause surprise, surprise People lie, men lie, women lie & humans all love to seem like they did nothing wrong, do you believe that women did nothing wrong??
If "true man" are SO successful, SO strong, SO indipendant, why they need to be provided by someone "weak" like whining boys, thats doe's not make sense.
As a therapist who specializes in men's psychology, I find that any therapist/psychologist that uses the term "toxic masculinity" is practicing unethically because "toxic masculinity" comes with preconceived negative attitudes against men and masculinity. It's also harmful to young men. Instead of calling masculinity toxic, it's better to talk about healthy versus unhealthy behaviors.
этот термин "токсичная мужественность" предвзят только с точки зрения патриархальных взглядов. однако вы правы, термин неэтичен, т.к касается индивида клиента которого вы терапевтируете.
Masculinity in itself isn't toxic. Toxic masculinity is. The controling and demanding, not nurturing, protecting and empathetic kind. The one that needs to put women down to feel masculine - not work with them, love them, or just accept them as equals. The masculinity of a mob boss is different from that of a loving family father. Both are masculinity. But one of them is harmful. The other is a creating and nurturing force. That's just the truth. If people were more educated, they'd know people who criticise toxic masculinity Don't criticise masculinity in general. Wrong words are being put into feminist's mouth. That's what radicalizes young men.
I’m an unmarried 70 year old woman by choice. Raised with older brothers who beat me up and a father who abused me sexually from 3-6.
I became a flight attendant in the early 70’s that job description was basically being subservient to men who were toxic entitled men. (Sorry for the run on sentences).
In my 30’s and 40’s people men asked “why aren’t you married “?
I really felt like protecting myself from men.
I love the idea that women now at least have avenues they can pursue against men who cross the line.
The truth is that weak men are terrified of powerful women…thus the violence anger and subjugation of women. Hoping for a brighter future for all women.
I hear you. I was abused by a brother but, you know he's male and if you just avoid him, everything will be OK. Mom came from the same kind of childhood. When I realized how we were taught learned helplessness, I began to forgive the women in my life and then forgive me for bowing to this set of lies about men. Glad my girls are stronger.
I’m 58. Never married. My father thought I was a lesbian & manhater. My brothers never questioned him. One of my brothers is an excellent father to a daughter. I don’t know how he broke the mould. And he wanted a daughter from the beginning.
I chose a life without marriage or male partner too. Best choice. No regrets.
As soon as the access to jobs, authority, money and other resources is equal, men will be lost and the table will turn since women will be finally independent.
The men seem to feel it.
Interestingly , there is a trend to restore patriarchy. And the girls and younger women are often not aware of it.
They are told that they are free, everything is possible thanks to education but it is not true. They compete with each other instead of closing Iines and notice the extent of discrimination when it is already too late.
Feminism has become an insult, a label for unattractiveness etc.
If women would understand that attractiveness is no relevant trait, the beauty industry would shrink and women could allocate resources to things that really matters.
Ladies, men will always beg for sex and careers based on attractiveness are short lived, so why all this BS?
@@FreeSpace-v9f
Why is that a good choice, why can't
a man make you happy?? what's
You're issue with men?? most
men from what I've seen are great
& sacrificed many things just for
Their women, yet many women
do not see it or appreciate it.
This is exactly how it used to be - I was born in 1951 and being female in a patriarchal society felt the same way as racism does. We women were "looked fown on" and everything centred on the mens' hsppiness/contentment. I was deeply resentful even as a child. At 73 years of age I am so glad to have witnessed the change and the future will present a matriarchy, of that I am sure and things will improve all round.
@@elizabethshannon24
I disagree, women were valued, loved
and appreciated, seen as precious how
were they "looked down upon"?? also
everything was never centered around
mens "contentment & happiness", people
never gave a damn about that & to this
day still don't care if a man is happy they
only care if a woman is content or happy
it's always been that way, that's why men
still are held to traditional archaic patriarchal roles & told to accept it
to shut up & consider the feelings
& experiences of women.
@@elizabethshannon24
You think a matriarchy will
automatically make things
better?? really?? I don't think
so.
@@elizabethshannon24 I don't think having a matriarchy will really improve things. Women can be just as bad as men. I hope to see a time when both work hand in hand to raise their children as well as respect each other for when one holds power over the other is when abuse will happen.
@@foonlam7134
You're right both genders are responsible
& indeed they are, they cooperated so
this "patriarchy" wasn't created by men
with a evil mustache twirling scheme towards women, it was both genders
who both had prejudices & beliefs
on how men & women should act
I think history is distorted to act as
if women were all victims & not
pulling the strings & influencing
their men & children to go
& take part of "the patriarchy".
Bad news: the Bible implies an androgynous or gay man will be the final antichrist. It’s just more misogyny to pretend women are about to destroy the world.
Daniel 11:37
Neither shall he regard the God of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all”, (cf. also 1Tim.4:1-3).
I don't think men will ever give up Patriarchy willingly. It will happen as time goes on as women are getting better educated and self supportive. It will morph into a much more equal relationship as time goes on. Men will have to learn to identify as men without putting women in a degraded place. They will no longer use that to feel bigger or better about themselves.
From my cold, dead hands.
As a man I agree men won't cause
it's the world's greatest achievement
tell me, if women ruled would it be
any better?? I don't think so.
Most men love & care for women
that love & care for them, men
are great people who will die
for you, build you a whole city
& go to great lengths to do
great things sad you cannot
see that.
@@elongatedmanforever1252
>"Most men love & care..."
>"Men are great people"
Decide on which it is first. Most or all? Bc generalizations for each gender are foolish. It's not all of them.
@@rockinrollin8306
Men typically subconsciously and some purposefully will only hear a mans perspective. Its ingrained through generations of fathers, " head of households" it seems. I know many times Ive given a point of view or a solution to a man and they brush it off to only have another male come say the same thing and its now a good idea.
A man speaking on this topic gives me so much hope.
Most women will never fully understand the struggle of everyday men because they wallow in a pool of self pitty
@@joshiek7839you watch porn that degrades us and you see us as objects .You don’t deserve us or our pity .You are whining about not being treated as a special snowflake by us and then accuse US of self pity ? 🤣😂
@@joshiek7839stop watching porn and seeing us as objects and feeling sorry for yourself for starters .
@@joshiek7839you’re complaining that we don’t pay attention to your issues when you have been treating us like objects and second class citizens for millennia ? 🤣😂
@@KrisGill-n6o as I said - your wallowing in a pool of sellf pitty. thanks for proving me right.
I am 77 years old and for the first 34 years of my life I lived with Patriarchy and even though I knew in my heart that it was wrong on some level, I thought that was the way things were and I supposed would always be. That was in a small town in Northern Ontario, Canada. Then my husband got a job offer in the Yukon Territory and we moved out to Whitehorse. My word, it was like moving to another dimension or something. In the Territories, if you want to do it and can do it, go do it. I fell head over heels in love with the Yukon. To me it was like a gift from God. I have been in many places in North America since moving to the Yukon ( I got a good job) as did my Husband and we did some traveling and all the places we visited did was make me want to go home to the Yukon. I will be here until I die, get cremated and my ashes spread in the cool North wind.
As a cautionary note…this wonderful place is fragile and it is my hope that the up and coming young people here realize what they have and protect it.
After 70 years as a woman navigating the patriarchy, still struggling for every millimetre we take up in the world, I am only now beginning to despair. Thank you for your clear and insightful analysis - and please continue to speak up.
This attitude is dividing you from
good men & the world of reality
at large.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 That was not attitude, she is describing her emotions and state of mind based on her lived experience. This knee jerk invalidating and insinuating that she is not in "reality" clearly show you DO NOT belong to that category of good men you referring to
@@GoldieBrown-pc6mb
Dude I don't care about
being "a good man" cause
Society & not all but some
Women reward bad men
while acting like women
are somehow morally
Superior & so heroic
Utter Bs, also I'm
Not invalidating
Anything I'm questioning
Her cause I cannot just
Believe her without hard
Evidence people lie constantly.
@@theodorathompson2034
How are you navigating the
"Patriarchy"?? What even is
The patriarchy?? most men
don't have power is that's
What you mean, only a few
Men do.
@@GoldieBrown-pc6mb
Dude Im not invalidating anything
I'm just questioning her & the guy
in the videos beliefs about this so
Called "Patriarchy" cause I don't
Buy into it.
This is probably the clearest yet most scientific explanation I've heard on this.
For thousands of years (basically all of “civilization”) there has been an implicit social contract, which is patriarchy. “If you respect your place in the (male) hierarchy, obey your betters, show up ready to fight when called up to war then you are entitled to a free slave (wife)”. Sometimes you even get paid (dowry) to take this slave. You can treat this property however you see fit (including murder and torture). If you (men) keep up your part, we (male led society) will enforce this bargain on women by legally restricting them, to such a degree that they cannot survive without being owned by a man.
This social contract has been torn up, in most of the west in the last 50 years. In response some men are angry and behaving violently, and women (finally realizing they are free and can flourish without an owner) are opting out of interacting with those angry, violent men. Which makes this subset of men more violent.
Exactly this! They are livid that women have rights too.
@@SC-sn3xs
No they are not, men
fought for that to happen
cause most love women
and care for them.
@@dharma6481
Everything you said I believe is
False, men loved women also
did women not have power too??
you act as if all women were just
victims & every man is a Boogeyman
that just oppressed them for no
Reason then "power or control"
It's completely 1-sided and
viewing men as pure evil
men were oppressed as
Well.
@@SC-sn3xs
You guys are livid that men did
great things so you act as if
they do nothing good that
is oppressive is it not??
@@dharma6481
"These subset of men" live in
You're head they are caricatures
and you do not understand why
things happened in the past both
Genders cooperated, you act as
if no man did anything good and
as if all women are victims & had
No power, so there were no queens
or mothers with influence everything
You're saying is just incorrect.
T he patriarchal man is also egotistic and out of touch with Nature's times and seasons, with her rhythms. He has a distorted relationship with birth and death, both of which fall within the mother's area of life: he hides birth from society's eyes, and views death as a personal enemy to men. His talk of "real life" reflects his male-centric focus on life in which women's experiences and history for instance, is silenced and buried. He is used to the social spotlight being on him, and today with this spotlight moving more towards women, he feels neglected and aggrieved.
@@kriispyskinzthank you
As if men's problems aren't buried over women's complaining
@@LuxBro-um2fu they are trying to portray stuff that happened 100's of years ago like it still matters. Sure in medevil times women where over shadowed by men but i think most men dont give two cents about it. They say women are reacting to generational putting down when in reality its a bs excuse to be a misandrist. Men are reaction towards the hate today not 500 years ago. These people are intolerabe morons. Also wheres the Equality in doing the same to men as what supposedly happended to these hypocrate misandrists?
@@LuxBro-um2fu and thank you sir
Yummy word salad.
I'm from India and people here follow patriarchal ideas. I'm a guy who is empathetic and ethical by nature which have made me constantly at odds with the existing system. I support women rights since my childhood and support LGBTQ rights even before I knew about these concepts. It was part of my nature. But I considered my nature as a weakness for a long time. But reading books and understanding evolutionary psychology enabled me to understand myself better. And now in the recent weeks I am understanding the root cause which is PATRIARCHY. Glad to see a guy's perspective about this topic. One good thing you talked about is the plight of so called weaker men in a patriarchal system which even feminists aren't talking about that much.
More men should talk about that for sure! Especially the men who experience it. Feminist have their plates pretty full as it is, navigating in a patriarchal society, & advocating for women as a woman.
It was never weakness it was strength! strength to see beyond the bs fed to you.
We would be enjoying an advanced civilization if more men were like you. But today the best thing is for MEN to speak up and join the fight for the truth/ justice/evolution
This is the silliest comment I've read on this topic.
@@KD400_ What's the silliest thing that you noted??
@gowtham7231 dude I'm in India currently. The men are happy being in charge and the women are happy staying in their own lane. Patriarchy is what built civilisation without it we wouldn't be this advanced
Yet even as the high-ranking men rake in all the benefits of their status, they still seem so ridiculously fragile. Their combination of fragility and violence is terrifying. Thanks for this great analysis!
Well done. I taught sociology of gender classes for years, and this is one of the best short definitions of "toxic masculinity." I would definitely use this video in class.
I listened to this several weeks after the election here in the US. What more can I say😢
Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better. It’s not to shake the people who are already awake; it’s to shake those who still aren’t and would not listen. That’s all I will say. Things will be okay. Keep your loved ones close.
@ I am quite aware of all this. I was speaking to the unmasking of Patriarchy thru the election.
YEP
@@MC-cz5qd Yep!
@@MC-cz5qd I agree. I sense we're watching the death rattle of patriarchy. They know the party's almost over and they're scared and desperate.
Answering a question on Facebook I stated that having a father give away his daughter was about ownership. I only used the one word. I had a father attack me because he claimed that for him it was about protection and love for his daughter. I briefly explained why it wasn't my experience. So for days he continued to attack me because he was the protector of women. He finally stopped after I pointed out that he was not protecting me, a woman, but rather attacking me, belittling me, demonizing me and trying to shut me down. I suspect that he had no idea how he was behaving but rather he felt attacked. Thank you for trying to wake society up.
I feel like you have coloured in more of the picture of why girls and women are brought up to be pleasing and put our own needs behind others and specifically men. Seeing how this fits into patriarchy is so helpful. Thank you.
Don't know why but how about adopting an approach of meeting people as unique souls first than all the compartmentalizing and labeling that happens sometimes. We can approach animals like this too, as souls. Bringing in the perspective of past lives as souls having been both women and men in all scenarios and dynamics and karma, I wonder if would smooth feathers if contemplated about. Appreciate your full sensitivity, spectrum and scope and freedom of expression!
How about leaving women alone 🎉 we're not going to listen to you !@@stonedoliveees
As it should
Likely due to my mother's experiences, I wasn't raised that way, so thought and acted differently (authentically) from the women you describe. Have been punished ever since. 😅
@victoriawilkinson
Yes cause no man ever has
put their needs aside, or
sacrifices himself for
others??
Thank you so much for breaking this down for those that pretend it doesn't exist or that they don't understand what women are talking about.
It doesn't though, most men are
not benefitting & suffer the same
if not worse then women.
Women have been lied too
& men are trying to wake
Them up.
Just men gaslighting women! How sad that in order to feel like a 'real' man they believe it is their god given right to order females around and keep us in our place! BTW who was it that decided God made females inferior to males and that we must obey them?It must have appeared in the Bible perhaps the trump Bible? The trump Bible written(concocted) by the exact same men that this talk was directed at! Females are still experiencing flogging in 2024 in many different forms!
My daughter was jailed 4 times because she knocked my son in law's phone out of his hand. He was videotaping her constantly. His lawyer suggested that he get her to flip out. That he could get a domestic charge on her. He did, and the police helped him terrorize her and their children. She was put in jail so much, because he would tell her it was OK to come see the kids. When she arrived to see her children, he started filming her with his phone and called the police. He had a protective order on her. This went on until me and her father had to come help. Her lawyer purposely did nothing to help her. We found out later that her lawyer was a father's rights lawyer. So in the end she had to pay 3,000 dollars in back child support to him and the state. Then we had to pay her husband/abuser 27,000, because he was on the deed and not the mortgage. Then he hit her with his truck. The police took her to the ER and he was arrested. But the judge let him go and the county attorney dropped the charges. They felt that the video she had wasn't sufficient evidence. It got her home back and joint custody, that is all. He then moved in with his girlfriend. If we had not helped our daughter, pay her abuser, she would be homeless. She has to work three jobs right now to pay the back child support she owes. They are currently garnishing her wages. She took home 119 dollars for two weeks after they garnished her wages. No apology or restitution, just a big huge F you.
I am a very self-aware woman and yes, I have spent my life fighting against this patriarchal system, along with many other women. I am a writer now and will change the world of patriarchy in my stories. Thanks for a great introduction to patriarchy Alexander 🍎
Also I can understand your friend wanting to protect his son from the poisonous kick backs in this patriarchal society. It takes a lot of talking as our children grow up, and constant awareness, and open communication. A challenging task. Not passing it on is probably the best task of parenthood.
Oh! That's incredible! I love writers who write with narratives that revolve around subverting patriarchal tropes!
I would love to read some of your works! ❤
thank you fellow woman, i'm also a writer. and have been a feminist since childhood :)
@@BL-sd2qw Thank you ❤
@@MichelleSmith-gt1py Thank You ❤
It amazing you made this 2 years ago , your explanation and lecture is exactly what is happening in America
It has a,ways been happening in America.
The 1st rule of the patriarchy, is don't talk about the patriarchy. Some men deny it even exists, & some deny that they have any privilege. Conveniently, blaming women for the unrealistic unachievable standards that a patriarchal society expects from them. It's why men invented religion, to maintain power & control.
How do we urgently speed up evolution?
How many women you know, are breadwiners for their men and children? How many women you know, pay alimony to fathers with children?
How many women are drafted now to army, and how do they perform? Do they fulfill the same standards as men or are the standards separate? 🤔
@@Wargulpartalthe only answer to that question that would make you happy would be none. The better question is why are you comparing yourself to women. Who you guys have said over and over again they are beneath you.
@@herelookinatu The feminist try to play victimhood Olympics and establish themselves as an ultimate victors of that game, making their perceived victimhood the token highest moral highground. I found this tactic dishonest and lacks nuance, if not any remote grasp of reality.
Feminism is a supremacy movement targeting its hate and grievence at all men (hence "patriarchy"), making them a favorite scapegoat for all evil of the world and all women failings, ignoring fact that men provided all civilized goods, prosperity and safety, and all of it thanks to traditional male talents and virtues condemn by feminist as "toxic".
It's beyond unfair, dishonest, injust, counterproductictive and dare I say suicidal on global scale.
For leftists diversity is only skin deep, as if people born the same amd must behave the same way always. Equity and sameness, being the leftists fetish called "egalitarism", require limit of individual action and choice to even try pull this of. Need establisment of socialism. But socialism is a bedrock of totalitarism and tyranny. Socialism promising free stuff, guaranteed access to wares and services, conveniently omitts in its propaganda the necessessity of slavery providing those goods, which leftist call "rights".
It never will stop being true to say, those who trade freedom for safety, will not be free nor safe. But the women, being solipsystic as they are, they give in the temptation for promised safety. This is what Adam and Eve parable told about: subjective morality, magical thinking, gnosticism...
Evil can't create new things, only steal and corrupt what is created by good. So does all the good fruits of patriarchy being spoiled by feminism in the name of "inclusivity" and "tolerance", which are codenames for mediocrity, envy and grievance.
I know many many women who are breadwinners. Men pay alimony because men still are better rewarded by society and women are still expected to stay home with the kids. There is no draft. Women are not the warriors. Men are. Because men are the ones that start the evil wars. If women were in charge, there would be no wars. There you go. A little logic goes a long way.@@Wargulpartal
@@herelookinatuwhy is he comparing himself to women? Umm because that's the loosely discussed topic here? Lol. What he says is true. As a matter of fact women have more privileges than men. And to be honest "patriarchy" has giving you the platform to speak against it whether you wanna believe that or not. Patriarchy has built the world around you. You benefit from "patriarchy". It is what it is.
Will tell you what patriarchy did to me: my grandfather married my grandmother for her dowry. My grandmother her entire life served my grandfather. My mother was raised in a secluded environment because she was a woman. The same she did to me. I was forbidden from dating forbidden from having friendships going out. The only thing i was allowed and obliged was to study so i can advance socialy cause that s what my mother wanted. And in general i had to obey my parents. I was called immoral by my mother cause i wanted to date. Till this day i am 45 year old now she does not let me have a boyfriend. She does not let me have kids unless it is with someone rich or educated. My parents have broken off an engagement in my late 20s and called in the house of my boyfriend in my 20s or ring my doorbell for hours to see if i was inside with a boyfriend in my 40s. The situation with her will never stop and i wish God will bring me a kid somehow so i have family too. Also my last boyfriend s family his dad and grandma were telling him to cheat on me use me and dump me as his grandma was telling him because i was older than him and that i will make autistic kids as she was saying to him. Aka the notion of men only going with younger women the notion of women must not have sex cause if they do they are immoral beings the notion women must stay at house and be obidient has destroyed my life and my mental health
Im so sorry this happen to you and so many women have bought into this an treat there daughters like second class citizens its very sad our own mothers will harm us so bad, we have to dismantle patriarchy we women have to because men really dont care.
You didn't loose anything, you only won a better life, trust me
This isn’t patriarchy. Your parents have real issues. You should probably get a restraining order.
Look at the bright side. Read "Bad men: the roots of sexual deception" by David Buss and you will find that your life, if you would have gotten pregnant buy a broke/poor/stupid/lazy man would have been far worse.
Most men are ephebophiles anyways.
And the pervasive concept that the absolute highlight of a woman's achievement is her wedding.
This is a gem of a video, and should be shown in classes all over america.
Hell no
@@elongatedmanforever1252 then why are you even here
It's all about narcissism. Power and control through manipulation.
Patriarchy is also related to not dividing the family estate and property. The first born got it all in old times.
Nowadays, most narcissistic men are the ones who hate feminism the most and they are usually right wing, fascists or incels. They don't want to lose their privileges.
Narcissism in women often takes form of borderline (women are diagnosed more often than men with this form). In other words: it is dihonest to contribute narcissism/toxicity with only one gender.
@@Wargulpartalborderline personality disorder is not narcissistic personality disorder.
@@melm295 Yes, it does, just diffrent form. Grandiose narcissism belong to cluster B personality disorders with histrionic and borderline. Grandiose form is mostly diagnosed in men, borderline form in women, both sexes can manifest both forms. According to dsm.
Firstborn son got the lagacy in past, because, there was no contraception and paternity tests before.
It is more propable, that firstborn son is biological of husband. Men want taking care of their biological offspring before anyone else. If women thinks it should not be the case, let me propose an offer:
Let your newborn child be separated fromyou after birth, and accept the child of stranger for adoption. If you don't accept that offer, then stop calling patriarcjal men "toxic" and "narcissistic".
@@Wargulpartal I have it. We can exhibit narcissistic traits but for diff reasons than narcs. We are very aware of our self hatred. Narcs are not.
I cannot tell you the brain ache my mind gets having a man that looks like you speak in this way. It's so GOOD but so rare that it kind of makes my brain hurt a little as I'm so not used to seeing male faces or hearing male voices model and speak in his way. Nobody will want to admit this as it is very taboo but I garuntee there are women who are your age watching this that think you're hot just because you see us as humans who are your equal. i think that is a part of the patriachy that goes overlooked --womens tendency to find men who are allies very attractive. Wow, I really needed this today.
It’s so sad for me as a woman. I’ve been sexually assaulted many times by those kind of men. It really hurt me and I still struggle and have to work on myself REALLY HARD because of it. But to be fair, I’m glad to be a woman. We (most of us) don’t look at people as less human, we’re empathetic and we’re able to show emotions, which is very human🙂 and yet, we’re looked at as less human. How crazy is that? 😉
( By most of us) you mean
women right?? I hate to
disappoint you but you're
defintley wrong, also I'm
sorry you had that happen
to you those people that
did that to you aren't men
they are bad people from
a fallen state.
I disagree women are not
looked at as "lower humans"
that's a lie, men most
defintley did see women
as that & put their lives
on the line for women
that indeed is seeing
People as human.
How are you seen as less than human""?? where is the evidence
?? both genders have that behavior
not just men.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 Hi there and thank you. Yes, I said most of us (women). It’s definitely both genders but unfortunately a lot of unhealed men treat women as „something” they can touch, comment on, catcall… and then women start seeing themselves as those objects as well. Just look what’s going on online, look at social media like Instagram or TikTok, look at porn. I think it’s very sad. And I didn’t say that all men are bad. I have a partner who is a great man. But I still struggle with how I see myself and I work very hard on it because of how unhealed men treated me in past. Also strangers. If you’re a good man, please don’t take to yourself what I said above.
@@pattataj
It's not only men that act that way
Yes some do, but women do this
as well me & people closest to
Me were both treated bad by
some women who couldn't
Keep their hands to themselves.
It's amazing to get this informed video from a man. You are doing great job here!!
Just the fact he would be listened to because he is male is another form of patriarchy.
Always appreciate when I see a man who’s done/doing the work of unpacking patriarchy, and teaching other men about it too. Thank you. As a woman, I’ve had patriarchy mansplained to me by patriarchal man (I prefer to say that rather than toxic) and it’s maddening that they can’t see it and deny it even exists sometimes ! Hopefully in generations to come things will improve but so many get indoctrinated fully without their knowledge. Cultlike. But it lives and breathes in all of us unless we unpack it.
What exactly is wrong with
patriarchy?? it's made society
great & gave women equal rights
and advanced technology, built
Housing and better living conditions
are you saying all that is bad??
@@hallofmirrorsnetwork
Mansplaining oof you're one
Of those f-menists dear Lord
I feel bad for any man that
is near you, I feel ashamed
For you.
The more I learn about patriarchy the more I realize how based it is. I have no interest in rubbing elbows with those that are inferior to me.
@@Leonhart_93
Bruh the patriarchy was meant
To be about love & protection
Not calling anyone "inferior"
don't project that on others
Cause misandrist women think
men as such, don't lower yourself
to their level.
@@Leonhart_93
That attitude only makes you as
bad as the sexist women in these
Comment sections, the patriarchy
was never a tool for oppression
it was something women & men
made, to survive.
Good description on this subject and nice to hear it from a man. I wish you had elaborated more the role of religion on the subject.
Excellent video. Thank you for discussing this topic. ❤ Subscribed!
Being seen as SUCCESSFUL also includes $$ by inheritance. I think that’s important. I appreciate you saying that we find our sexism popping up at surprising times. I want to add racism also. I think that’s part of the patriarchy as well. I am a psychotherapist myself and I both appreciate this professionally and personally.
I appreciate you talking about this, but you didn't really get down to the root. There are some very interesting feminist books that discuss this, but it very obviously has to do with reproduction and reproductive power over women (as well as their sexuality- the two go hand in hand). E.g. men try to exert extreme dominance over women to ensure that women only bear their children (even though 1 in 25 fathers, as of today, still has, unbeknownst to them children that are not theirs). It's interesting to me that you made the definition of patriarchy all about men, even though patriarchy is more like an obsession with women and the control men long to have over them. Toxic masculinity is a way for men to enforce other men to control women.
Lions kill cubs that aren’t theirs. What you describe of men’s behavior sounds tame by comparison; and just as rational. I can see why women don’t like it, but I also see why men do it… but if things are really as you say, it is merely a power struggle: in which case there is little incentive for men to enable female ‘freedom’, and (more crucially) no moral ground from which women can demand it either. Just war.
Men are also afraid of women. Deep down they know that women have a power and a connection to the life force and its nurturing, creative forces. Not that men would ever want to understand it or have it themselves because control, violence and destruction are their own superpowers and are much more fun and interesting to them. Sorry but this is just how primitive the things we're discussing are.
This subject has many roots another one I feel is the inability of men to produce life and this is why they created a male god. Religion is the foundation to which patriarchy justifies its rule.
Toxic masculinity isn't real. Your word salad is ridiculous.
Could you give me some titles, maybe? I'd like to read more about that
If I remember back, the current trend of promoting and celebrating this aggressive male behavior has only become intensely attractive again with the advent of global social media communication.
Just as all kinds of idiotic conspiracy ideologies are spread through these media.
In the past, this was more of a "barroom talk" among men, some of whom later laughed at this nonsense together with their wives.
I find that women tend to uphold patriarchy. The system wouldn't work if women didn't support it. Once women as a collective challenge it, then things will change.
It needs time to find the balance. You can't change the world from one day to the other as it hadn't changed out of the sudden before. It is a process. I don't support patriarchy for example, but I am one of billions.
I agree with this. Some (not all) woment buy right into the idea that women should have a secondary role to men. This is especially prevalent in religious communities. We have met the enemy and it is us.
Religion has been a huge part of this continued issue.
Some women are even more diehard supporters of patriarchy than the general men. As women they tend to actually be able to recognize the existence of the system, while some men can’t even see the injustices for they aren’t the ones who face the constant suppression (I’m still seeing men being confused and frustrated about this “feminism thing” that seems in their eyes come into existence for no good reasons-because they simply can’t see what is the problem).
The women who defend patriarchy could be straight up cruel to other women who aren’t willing to submit to the system. They’re more like knowing compliance compared to men who are most likely proud ignorant (either intentionally or unintentionally)
Women generally are too busy dragging each other down.
This was really helpful. I'm now learning more about the history of payriarchy. I'm 72, was 5th child of subservient housewife. She took her hidden anger a d negative feelings out on me, and let an older, violent/ narcissistic sister and path liar pick on me. Still healing, but helped others as adult. I didn't realize i felt some ranking as a single parent, along with the empty nest syndrome, after my son got married, i did feel a lack of importance for awhile, but have adjusted, and reprogrammed priorities. Thanks for this episode. I'm glad there's more openness and awareness now.❤
Hey Alexander! Where are you sourcing/citing your information from? It would be super cool if you could provide some information/links! Great video! Thank you for providing it in such a digestible and open-minded manner!
I like when you said that the more you're aware of this patriarchal system depends on your place in the system. Your unbiased view is refreshing. Thank you.
What's wrong with the patriarchy??
I hope that men watching this realize just how corny and ludicrous this ideology is! Hearing him go down the list of what a “man” should be is hilarious because we all know this crap is not what men are naturally. I feel confident in saying that 99% of men know that and also think this type of ideology is ludicrous. The problem is the fragile egos this ideology creates and therefore gets passed on. Men just need to stop letting this antiquated and ridiculous narrative define them. What makes a good man? The same thing that makes a good woman. Do you have integrity? Are you honest? Do you have empathy for your fellow humans? Are you not a bigot ? Do you have a life? Meaning, do you have interests that bring you joy and happiness. Being “successful” is so subjective. You can be “successful” and still be a loser and having money doesn’t ensure you’re not a- hole! Men are naturally more emotional than women are. This is easily observed in male babies and children. They cry more, get over stimulated and need more nurturing than their female counterparts. The reason so much aggression is expressed is because of the denying of all the other emotions. Each person will bring to the table their inherent gifts. Those gifts are not determined by your gender.
Most men in power, particularly one that was just elected in the USA, fit the description.
My ex was like this. Very abusive, controlling, thought very low of women and if he had a female manager he would end up getting fired because he couldnt handle them telling him what to do. He said women were stupid etc. He grew up watching his mother belittle his dad and i remember him saying he never wanted to be spinless like him. Everyone thinks he is wonderful on the outside.
I have certainly seen this in the workplace too, as a female manager ive even had hand written notes telling me i cant tell them what to do... so disempowered. Its damaging to everyone. If there are ways to help everyone in this cycle, that would be great
They have to become aware that they have a “problem”. The problem is they see no reason to change for the better.
So a man who endured buse from women with power in his formative years has trouble with women with power over him? Or trouble with similar toxic feminism?
Just for clarification.
@I-md6mq he did have abuse from his childhood but that isn't an excuse to abuse others and it doesnt mean the females he then abuses as a result deserve it. Everyone is responsible, male and female, for healing themselves so they don't project their pain and biases of the other sex, onto others. For example he also was abusive to his daughter and me. It says that he has an issue with women generally from that unhealed part of him.I hope that helps
@@AngCJ-18444
You wouldn't be saying
That if his genders were
flipped sadly, a lot of
people defend women
when they act a certain
way.
So he's the bad guy in you're eyes??
I think he's just adopted his mother's
badness, you become who you
hate, I don't think he has a "low
view of women" whatever that
means he's just become his
mom & his dad.
This is absolutely great!
Im DO glad to see someone talking about this!
Patriarchy is entitlement to physical existence and needs of security, food and sex. Some forms of patriarchy are politics, democracy, religion, white supremacy, tribalism, capitalism, colonialism, Freemasonry, slavery and imperialism. Patriarchy controls labs, science, research, technology, society, economics and psychologically manifests as Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, Psycopathy and Narcissism. If you don't submit to their interpretation and organization of truth, like university degrees, they disqualify you for life and personal creativity. Patriarchy is when men live by their Suprachaismatic nucleus and amygdala brains of violent regulation of physical satisfaction.
Wow
"BINGO"! "BRAVO"!
I could not have said it better!
Thank you for this excellent post! Your wisdom is greatly appreciated!
Men working together for effective protective and aggressive violence benefited the whole community. That did come at the ecpense of women and some men. This presentation appropriates women's grievances in the service of beta makes. This is not about empowering women but yo unseat dominant makes and take their place.
@@inetstrydom8787 yeah, it benefitted white people against innocent Afrikans. That's why Pope Nicolas V sanctioned slavery and colonialism. Toxic Patriarchal Masculinity, Narcissism.
There is some pretty staunch male black power on women too, there are also black free masons you know?!!
Biggest thing is for us females of all color, were the first slaves and traded as livestock. Raped and pillaged, burned at stakes. We need to pull together, no matter our color of skin, it's only an organ to protect our bodies. But our hearts and spirits for thousands of generations have been under a type of dominion that needs to end, for males to grow and their spirits be changed, we too must be open to fostering those trying to develop and rewire. Of course with boundaries.
Thank you, for addressing this subject.
I bet your longest relationship and the man you will always have in your mind is a toxic masculine man
Wow...JDVance!!!! I knew he was sick in the head!
Wow. As a girl who always knew she was getting the short end, all I can say is wow. Thank you for telling me that was self awareness. It's been very painful but I stole their knowledge so good for me!🎉
@@patludwig1971
Don't believe this guy he's not
Talking about the complexities
Of the past.
I didnt hear a more sensible and coherent explanation about masculinity, patriarchy, and femininity (even if its a little bit) until now. Thank you. I think i need to listen to the video again to sement this im my brain
From 20:37 to 20:58, it says it all! 👏
..
I have a question, please @21:00
Please address to us where in the Qura'n it's stated that women should serve men!
Thank you
This is very useful for political analysts struggling to understand female internalization of misogyny.
Would be curious to know your thoughts on Trump.
Great video !!!! This is the kind of content I pay my I internet bills for.
All these older women in the comments talking about the abuse they endured and how it led them to avoid marriage proves that it’s not just the ‘nasty modern day feminists who are and out to destroy families’ claiming that they’ve been victims of misogyny.
Thanks. I do think the root of misogyny is the hard realisation of little boys (3 years) when they discover that the one power they admired and worshipped the most (because they depended on her) their mother is not all that in society and even worse that they themselves are a different kind of humans. They must force themselves to have an identitiy that is not feminine. Hence they develop a fractured self and a fractured look on women: the whole woman as an individual souvereign identity is too scary so she must fit into a certain role: mother, virgin, whore. And society hands that to the boys. But now, this moment in time things can change. I also am convinced that the antidote to this absence of whole object permanency is for men to come in touch with their feelings, their pain, their hearts. For they are the most fractured ones. They operate from their brain and groins and what could be the binding factor, the heart comes last. Women do not need allies. Women need men who open their hearts to other men, their children, themselves. Respect for women will automatically follow.
I appreciate this content so much, thank you!
Bravo! Articulate, thoughtful! Subscribed!
Amazing video! Thank you 🤍
This was incredibly insightful. I enjoyed listening to every word and ready to go to the next video of this topic. Thank you!
Thorstein Veblen discusses how the patriarchy began in his book The Theory of the Leisure Class.
THANKS FOR SPEAKING TRUTH! I hope you can inspire a lot of men and people in general with this.
Hats off to you, Alexander for your brave and brilliant work! 🎉❤ 👏 I am so glad to hear your wise words because I am sick and tired of toxic masculinity, misogyny and patriarchy. What's worse, this has been so I grained in psychology that it causes even more damage for patients of un-evolved psychologists. I thank God for people like you who understand what it means to be a Real Man versus being a caricature of a man (a male). I can honestly say that patriarchy and toxic masculinity is a root of all oppression for all the groups of people, including immigrants and people with disabilities. Thank you so much for your beautiful and much needed work as it brings true Hope for more evolved Humanity and a better world for all of us pray 🙏 🌎🌍 Sending you blessings from the USA and from Poland, too! 😊
Patriarchy...Hence, why the world is in the condition it's in now. 💔
Patriarchy - the one size fits all scape goat
Current civilization - Would never have been created without the "patriarchy" seeking to create easier ways of life for women and children.
@@joshiek7839
What they don't talk about is
how this so called patriarchy saved
the world & evolved it, it saved
lives.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 All very true, but the institution of patriarchy has had its day and is no longer viable in the modern world. Every brain and pair of hands is needed to navigate life, and relegating half the population to a subservient role is destructive.
@@elongatedmanforever1252
It turned the world into shit like it is today !
The difficulty in defining patriarchy stems from the fact that its insiduous destructive influence affects so many aspects of society...as you astutely describe.
And dont ignore the worse trait of all: narcissism.
Well done. I’m sending this to my male friends.
Thank you
Yes, I have. And I am on a tight rope, the seeing men as dangerous. I thought before I shift my mindset to stay safe, I am going to learn about it first before I make my mind up. This will be part of my healing to learn WHY because I'm starting to blame myself.
My husband joined a cult that taught him you can cheat through astral projection. That is NOT my fault, never will be, but I know when Christ comes calling for them He will say “I never knew you.”
Thank you. Clear. Good job.
Dr Carol Gilligan and Naomi Snider's research around why this is still going on, because humans are wired to resist infection, something damaging. They have RUclips videos and interviews around their findings and book "Why Does Patriarchy Persist?" . I am so glad this is being discussed by men, now too. Thank you for your courage and leadership...as Dr. Jackson Katz has pointed out in his work. The importance of pointing out patriarchy, the bystander approach.
17:33 EXACTLY. Thank you!
Thank you so much for this video, is it so clear, thank you again
Great video!!
I have another experience of patriarchy and masculinity: my grandfather was born in a small italian village and started working as he was 12 and retired at 65. He was working in a factory but every morning he was waking up at 4 since he had to take care of his animals ( chickens, rabbits, turkeys , geese,pidgeons) and his relativly small field where he cultivated potatoes, wheat, grapes , olive trees etc.after work he used to spend a couple of hours in the field and whith his animals again. When he retired he started working no stop in his fields,even on sunday managing to increase their yields exponentially. My grandmother was taking care of the house . She was coocking and cleaning. My grandfather never raised his voice against her. He used to call her " my Queen" and he treated her as such.She was yelling at him all the times. He never screamed back. Not a single time.My father started working at 14 and managed to have a good career. He was working no stop. My mother was an housewife and took care of my father and of their children quite well. My father never raised his voice against my mother. He always showed the utmost respect towards her and other women.She was constantly yelling at him even if she loved him.He never complained. This is the experience I have with patriarchy. I never raised my voice against a woman, I never hurt one. A couple of times I risked my life to protect women I did not even know. I just did what my father and my granfather would have done in the same circumstances. This is my experience of patriarchy and masculinity. I tried to follow the example of my father and grandfather: I worked hard and I got married because I was in love. My ex wife was quite successful as well even if I earned 5 times more than her. She wanted a villa with swimming pool. I bought her one. She wanted to go out and eat in expensive reastaurants almost every evening. I did it. She wanted exotic vacations. I took care of that. I did her foot massage every single night, even when I was completely exhausted from work. I never raised my voice against her, I never criticised her. In exchange she was constantly insulting and yelling at me. When she started cheating on me I divorced whitout even blaming her. I took the entire responsibility of our failure as a couple.I am still an old fashioned gentleman, and I am thankfull to my humble but strong father and and grandfather because they showed me by example how to be a man and how to respect women. Even when they do not respect you.
@@dainagrn7030 you are right, totally right. But I was ( and partially still I am ) deeply influenced by the experiences I had in my family. For me being a man meant to be strong , protective and responsible. Even if my ( russian ) wife was abusing me I wrongly assumed that she had just a bad temper and that I was strong enough to stand her. Eventually when I was divorcing her she was chasing me and she told me " I love you because you have the balls to leave me ". I always had balls, but she did not notice them since I was kind and patient with her. Now I am happily divorced, I take good care of my kids and have a good life. My bad experience with my ex wife did not impact on my behavior vis a vis other women. I still behave as a gentleman, in every circumstances. But I will never be abused again. And you are right, many Italians of my generation are extremely kind with their women. Sometimes too much.
@DiogenesNephew my father and grandfather were highly respected by their community. My grandfather fought 5 years first in the italian army in Russia and in the Balkans, then as a freedom fighter against the Germans. My father started working when he was 14 and became later a successful manager.They both could not care less about women rants and antics, they just ignored them. Arguing with them was considered as arguing with a 3 years old child: a waste of time.They let them rule in the domestic space, but they obviously took all the important decisions.This model is obsolete of course, but it worked well for women, who were always protected, and satisfied since they felt important at home, and for men, who were basically living outside for working and other activities and came back home just for dinner. Men and women were living parallel lives, with little or not interference in the respective spaces. This was patriarchy in Italy and in other mediterranean countries. Each gender had a specific role in society, but there was no widespread gender violence since hitting a woman was considered a dishonorable act.
@DiogenesNephew indeed. I just wanted to show that the patriarchal society in Italy was quite protective of women. The division of roles was very strict : women stayed home and men were living outside for work and other activities. But domestic violence was rare because hitting a women was considered a dishonorable act. Paradoxically, men were quite linient with their wives as long as they accepted their role, and could not care less about their antics. They just ignored them. Once I asked my grandfather why was si standing my grandma's rants. He answered that arguing with a woman is like arguing with a 3 years old child. A waste of time.
If you go door to door in our nation and talk to citizens about domestic violence, almost everyone will insist that they do not support male violence against women, that they believe it to be morally and ethically wrong. However, if you then explain that we cannot end male violence against women by challenging patriarchy, and that means no longer accepting the notion that men should have more rights and privileges than women because of biological difference or that men should have the power to rule over women, that is when the agreement stops. There is a gap between the values they claim to hold and their willingness to do the work of connecting thought and action, theory and practice to realize these values and thus create a more just society.”
― bell hooks, All About Love: New Visions
@@rwalters5803 nice quote. But it does'nt explain why Italy, Greece and Poland, which are quite traditionalist, patriarchal countries, have a femicide rate much lower than in the UK , in Germany and in the Scandinavian countries. The official statistical data are available online and they speak for themselves: obviously correlation is not causation but the only conclusion we can draw is that in more socially advanced european countries , where the gender equality is almost reached, more women are killed by men than in backwards european countries.
giant businesses have found that a lack of women in management loses them profits. they pump women into management to keep their businesses running smoothly. That profit lever will change the world. women keep businesses open and running. Large businesses have figured this out.
Even when guys are great they still show signs of internalized misogyny
@@BharaniBharani-wf5wd misandry is a reaction to misogyny
@@BharaniBharani-wf5wd well aren’t you the sicko
Typical feminist response. Women can never do wrong in your eyes because you're so brainwashed. You can't accept the fact that men and women are not supposed to be equal. You probably don't even identify as a woman anyway. Some kind of "non binary... insert, insert insert" type of thing the lgbtqwysdtam community got you to believe.
So even when they are good they
are still bad to you?? yeah with
that attitude men won't want
to improve give them some
Credit.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 stop being defensive.
I always assumed patriarchy comes from Christianity, toxic masculinity comes from competition among men, and misogyny comes from dating or marrying women.
This is a great video! Very interesting and informative.
I have heard about the patriarchy for years. always described like a puff of smoke that makes things bad. well, it is hard to fight mist, and wouldn't you seem silly for doing so?. this is the first time I have heard a description that made any sense. 20 years people around me have discussed this. 1st time it was understandable.
Sounds like right wing conservatism in a nutshell !
This really made me happy gentleman. ❤
Thanks Alexander- A really interesting summary of something we all know, but seldom analyse.
❤ thank you
What a refreshing perspective! I agree and I see from this perspective as well.
It's a challenging life for everyone, men included. I specifically dislike the term toxic masculinity which is, thankfully, beginning to be frowned upon nowadays.
Evolution....is such a sloooooowwwwwww prooosessssssssss.....I want to press the fast forward button!!!!!!
I feel our view of masculinity has caused some of the issues trans people have. If you are male and sensitive it has ment that you are les masculine but that is so untrue. It only appears that men are not sensitive when a real man should be able to show there sensitive side and there is nothing wrong with it and to me it makes them more of a man to have the strength and bravery to show their sensitivity.
The problem is also to do with the women who support and promote this type of patriarchy behaviour. Like when I was growing up, I was told I was useless as I was female and worthless since women marry out and don't bring any benefits to their family.
That is one of the traps women are set, with lies pounded into our heads til we believe them.
@@foonlam7134
I don't think that has anything to
do with "Patriarchy" also who
said you're "worthless"?? you're
family??
@@foonlam7134
I got to disagree with you there patriarchy does value women, definitely more then
men, who are viewed as expendable.
@@elongatedmanforever1252woman and girls DO enforce it, but I think that it's not as visible to men in the perspective of someone, anyone, who appreciates femininity over masculinity
@@Starufoji
it's not visible to men because they've
been told that mostly everything falls
on them, not women so women
supporting anything is usually
blamed on men themselves.
When speaking on patriarchy it is just as important to talk about misandry as it is misogyny. The reasons for this is that the patriarchy puts expectations of behaviour and hatred when members break expectations, on both genders. Also, women who benefit fro patriarchy of which there are many, enforce standards onto men as well. And finally, it is patriarchy to put undue expectations on men to change in the first place. This is just the danger protectionism of women and enforcement of men that we are trying to get away from. Ironically, I'm many ways we are just moving closer to a patriarchy by placing these assumptions on both genders.
Oh my gosh :( I just made a post on my local Reddit about two men trying to grope and hug me on my morning walk and random
Men doing nothing and even giving him money afterwards and I mostly got discrediting comments calling me crazy or giving props to these men
Are you telling the truth??
cause people can lie about this stuff.
@@elongatedmanforever1252i dont praise sexual predators even when i think they're being made up ether
@effielove4764
yeah I don't believe they are that
until I hear facts, not feelings &
over exaggerated "experiences"
That may or may not be true.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 irrelevant to my point
@@effielove4764
It's relevant to mine.
Amen Brother..
Even though there are more and more prominent women in films, they still portray strong women through the lens of patriarchy. That’s not good either. Being emotional is still seen as weakness.
hmm if a "strong female character" is basically only the one that takes on masculine characteristics doesn't that mean that there's no other way for women to be strong?
The patriarchy is made up bs
it's not real, it's a myth created
by activists.
@@cunjoz
Feminists love these characters
Though, every time men criticize
It they are called "sexists".
Bruh patriarchy is just a catch all
term, it can mean anything that
People feel like, it's extremely
inconsistent.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 just like sigma, alpha or anything like that is, concepts disproven by science, yet so many men swear on it. It's just astrology with a primarily male following, a power fantasy promising greatness and superiority.
14:20 What TV were you watching though? Every male figure on TV I saw was kind and did his best to help people:
Hardcastle and McCormick
Katts and Dog
Columbo
MacGyver
The Incredible Hulk (when he wasn't hulking out - which was always thought of as a bad thing)
Frickin Fred Flinstone
Don Johnson in Miami Vice
Inspector Wexford in Ruth Rendell Mysteries
Dr. Who
I could go on. You're describing the villains in all those TV series. You've got it backwards, sir.
I agree with some of your points, but I don’t understand why you keep making reference to trans people. Trans are an extremely powerful group, who have the authority to direct policy, legislation, and even language. This is pertinent to biological adult males, who identify as women. That is a perfect definition of toxic masculinity, yet you continue to describe them as weaker members of society.
Yes! It’s queer “patriarchy.” I commented on that too! I thought I was the only one who noticed about it.
These kinds of “men” wanted to take the role of women as an escapism to be a real man. That’s so wrong 😭
Luckily for me my man thinks women are superior to men (in the sense of intellectual and emotional intelligence). I disagree with him but it gives us the basis of a balanced life.
Wow, stage 4 is what fueled tdumps election!
Great video
As a lady: thank you
As a man I got to ask why
Do you believe this stuff??
@@elongatedmanforever1252 he's right. Toxic masculinity is a major problem, we face these everyday
@MirrorminD1989
No it's not, most men are benevolent
& Did many great things You really
got to stop acting like Masculinity is
bad, like women do no wrong??
C'mon now.
@MirrorminD1989
id say it's "toxic femininity"
but I don't believe in blaming
Masculinity, femininity for bad
behavior when it's the individuals
behavior that's at fault.
@@elongatedmanforever1252 where tf did I say that masculinity is bad? It's not masculinity. It's the men who think they're above everyone and everything! They forgot that these men sucked on their mama's titties before they became the "superior alpha king"😅 and of course, many traits of women are utterly destroying and toxic as well.
My husband told me that I needed to accept a woman’s lot in life and be happy with it.
Very true, thank you so much. How tragic that with patriarchy, men can never grow up, mature and become true human beings. The biggest failure of mankind. Glorifying violence, insensitivity oppression and great ignorance.... frankly.... this is where it got us. Great job, wish more men and women awake to toxic masculinity.
"How tragic that with patriarchy, men can never grow up, mature and become true human beings" - If you have a loving father, big brother or other males of that sort around you, you would see that they are loving, and caring human beings. That disproves your view of "patriarchy", doesn´t it?
You do know men did great things
In the past right?? That men fought
To keep women safe?? & Make
The world a better place.
@felixklauk4410 You're making a lot of assumptions there which displays how out of touch you really are with women's lived experiences. If you wanted to know how women experience men you'd ask. Do you have the courage to do that?
@@NonyaSmith
Common sense would tell you that
not all women's "experiences" arent
all 100% fact, cause surprise, surprise
People lie, men lie, women lie &
humans all love to seem like they
did nothing wrong, do you believe
that women did nothing wrong??
@@NonyaSmith
Yeah no, common sense should
Tell you that "Experiences" are not
facts, it's based on feelings, most
men are great I agree with Felix.
Thank you!
If "true man" are SO successful, SO strong, SO indipendant, why they need to be provided by someone "weak" like whining boys, thats doe's not make sense.
Neither does toxic masculinity!
Winds of change 🙏🏻❤️
As a therapist who specializes in men's psychology, I find that any therapist/psychologist that uses the term "toxic masculinity" is practicing unethically because "toxic masculinity" comes with preconceived negative attitudes against men and masculinity. It's also harmful to young men. Instead of calling masculinity toxic, it's better to talk about healthy versus unhealthy behaviors.
Exactly
этот термин "токсичная мужественность" предвзят только с точки зрения патриархальных взглядов. однако вы правы, термин неэтичен, т.к касается индивида клиента которого вы терапевтируете.
@@cannabis__000
It's a sexist concept, like there's
Something wrong with being
masculine?? Why is there not
a word called toxic feminity??
Toxic masculinity is sexist towards
Men, masculinity in no way is toxic.
Masculinity in itself isn't toxic. Toxic masculinity is. The controling and demanding, not nurturing, protecting and empathetic kind. The one that needs to put women down to feel masculine - not work with them, love them, or just accept them as equals.
The masculinity of a mob boss is different from that of a loving family father. Both are masculinity. But one of them is harmful. The other is a creating and nurturing force. That's just the truth.
If people were more educated, they'd know people who criticise toxic masculinity Don't criticise masculinity in general. Wrong words are being put into feminist's mouth. That's what radicalizes young men.