Stop Calling it 'Toxic Masculinity' | Reece MacKinney | TEDxMountainAve
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- Опубликовано: 9 май 2022
- Being surrounded by varying models of masculinity, I found that the phrase ‘Toxic Masculinity’ distracts from the much more subtle behaviors that wrongly shape boys into men. The clichéd examples of toxic masculinity show up in the media are very real. However, the most awful behaviors (anti-LGBTQ+, rape culture, and extreme emotional maturity) that speak the loudest. In my experience as a young man in Colorado, the best way to prevent these clichéd forms of ‘toxic masculinity’ is to address the much more subtle behaviors that are encouraged in schools, sports, families, politics, and friendships: the sneaky behaviors no one talks about when picturing the image of ‘toxic masculinity’. The phrase itself makes it too easy for men to feel defensive, as it’s associated with the worst of the worst. Therefore, by actually reflecting on these subtle behaviors, we notice them, we stop them, instead of labeling them. ‘Resilience’ is a word that has an opportunity to represent honest, vulnerable men, which is threatened by the polarizing term ‘toxic masculinity’ Reece MacKinney is a senior at Poudre High School, spending his whole life in Fort Collins. Growing up surrounded by different models of masculinity, his passions lie with how to define what masculinity is, and what it isn’t. He explores these passions through mentorship and restorative justice programs in his school and community, which promote emotional honesty. His work in these fields has inspired a love for developmental psychology, which he will study next fall at Duke University. However, it is his experiences in Fort Collins that he has learned the most from. Reece hopes to create comfortable spaces in his communities where vulnerability isn’t just tolerated, but accepted. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
I like his exploration and disclaimer that he doesn’t know everything. That humility softens the blow of anything that might sting the ears for people that need to hear it. As someone who meanders between stoic and expressive I have to suggest that there’s a place for both. Not to a detrimental degree, but in particular settings. As a man I see things often the way my father raised me to; as an opportunity not just to exhibit emotional strength and utility to the moment, but to lend it to others. I was raised to be of service and to ease the burdens of others. I think twice as much as I speak, so it comes in handy in moments when I cannot let emotion lead my words.
In moments of crisis, trauma and adrenaline it’s important to be the rock in the river. When someone is bleeding to death, if you wear your terror on your face, wreak the panic on the injured, they will only panic and die faster. When my 2 year old was in CHLA with 2 skull fractures, looking to me for reality to see if things were going to be alright, there was simply no way I could let him see my pain. No way I could let him feel my fear, my dread. I could only hold him, smile and kiss him, tell him that Mommy and Daddy are here and you’re safe.
When my military customer makes a mistake, causing thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours worth of rework, when they’re panicking and all is lost, it’s my duty to be the one that comforts them and helps them move forward.
I am expressive of all emotions at their proper time. I am vulnerable to my partner, my children, my parents and my friends. I can come undone and I make sure I do it when I need to, in a safe way. Because after that, it’s back to who I am meant to be, it’s back to being strong but human. Quiet but approachable, positive but truthful. It’s my purpose in this life to be a light, I am not diminished by this choice, I take care of myself but everyone arounds me firmly comes first. That’s what My daddy taught me and I’m honored to be the same.
The idealism that persist even though tested by the realism of the world, ended up being the point of view that I respect. There's nothing wrong with teenagers idealism, but it often fails to realize the gravity of the truth that can only come by a long winded experience.
There's plenty of older (very) smart and wise idealists@@Violet_Odorata
"Stunting forms of masculinity". That is probably the best way I've ever heard somebody explain the characteristics others are trying to isolate from the term "toxic masculinity". The word "forms" allows the interpretation that there are some positive sides that do not need to be changed, and stunted could allow the meaning to be simply not to its full potential yet. If you're trying to change the opinion or actions of somebody who is afraid to show or express their emotions you should tread carefully and definitely not start with an insult such as "toxic". Love the clip, great ideas and expression of them.
Instead how about we actually acknowledge the fact that this form of masculinity actually isn't negative to begin with? lol. No instead, continue to push the concept that will still be ignored.
@@HonkHonkler how are the behaviors he described not negative?
@@abbyhayes22 the first problem is giving it a sexist terminology. Calling it that implies there's something unique about it that makes it masculine - are any of the related traits unique to men? Looked at another way, imagine if we called it toxic femininity to be emotionally manipulative, for example.
Another issue is that it's purely subjective. One person's "aggressive" or "dominant" is another's "competitive" or "showing leadership skills" and implying it's bad is to say it's better to be passive and submissive.
I never went through what this man did. I really appreciate what his PE teacher did. Showing empathy and compassion to other men needs to happen more.
Reece this is so incredible.
Real masculinity is to empower the Weak not preying on them!
I'm mirin' you brah❤️
Preying on the weak (physically, mentally, or spiritually) is inappropriate for humans because it's our creativity, not our self-defense ability, that is ultimately our greatest asset as a species. Especially for 21st century humans, preying erases more future wealth than it creates. Furthermore, this predatory, "mercilessly crush the competition" paradigm works against even the strongest, smartest, and bravest 1%'s own best interest. Even they have to "sleep with one eye open" and be semi-paranoid about rivals seeking the top spot, even their supposed friends and allies. Also, no surety that their kids will be as survivable as they are, so it potentially threatens their own offspring. This diverts attention from more productive or culturally redeeming tasks and into 'clique building', 'turf wars', 'back scratching', etc. See any failed or corrupt corporation or dictatorship overthrown in a coup for details.
Yes. Please do not accept or tolerate unkind speech, unempathetic behavior to other humans male or female.
The world is never gonna be just as we like, there's always gonna be confronting situations, many people don't give a f about us, we gotta deal with it
Thank you sir. It is humbling to see you go up on stage and speak this challenging idea 🙏
Ur Indian aren't u
@@saladvolcano3103 no actually I am American in fact lol
@@thanoscube8573 Same thing
Toxic masculinity and toxic femininity don't exist. The behaviors we try to describe are psychopathy and narcissism. The are not the extreme versions of the masculine and feminine. If you take masculinity and feminity to its extremes you get soldiers defending and fighting to the death to give someone else a chance at life, or nurses taking care of ebola patients. The prefix toxic- is an insult to both masculine and feminine.
So optimistic hearing these words from a teenager. It's important to remember the connotations of the language we use, because they're listening. I would argue that his relation of the use of "toxic" to poison is actually in support of the position he's debating, though. Are the social behaviors and norms not poisoning the "seeds" who grow into the men that continue those behaviors? This is the exact reason for referring to the problem as "toxic"- the expectations for masculinity poison their capability to express any emotion other than anger and stoicism.
But the problem is that this term is used as a cudgel rather than as a help. The term itself is not helpful when you are on the receiving end. It has a connotation of being inherent. It was born out of feminism, and feminism is anti-male.
Nice womansplaining
Clever guy. Not saying that coaches were bad guys, instead saying they were good, but still saying they were taught wrong. If he was surrounded by only men like his PT teacher and no men like his wrestling coaches, he would have never learnt to deal with problems on his own but always needing a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes you need to and it was good that he was surrounded by both kinds of men. He would have been a broken man if there were only men like his wrestling coaches but also a very unmanly man if not for them.
Hmmm, interesting points. I’ve always thought of toxic masculinity as a label for gender norms that are toxic, not as a descriptor of the men themselves
Just call it machismo not toxic masculinity because the term toxic masculinity is such a cheesy silly term.
@@zak27986 I’ve never found it so.
Great job Reece!
Glad I stuck around for the conclusion of your argument! As your talk unfolded all I could think was how toxic the behaviors you described were, but I agree with you on the subtle nuances in language and it’s impacts. Great talk, and brilliant insight. Keep up the work!! The world needs young people like you 👏
I agree that those things are toxic but they aren't masculine at all. False masculinity is the proper term. It's a mirage to appear "manly".
I'm late to the party, but you hit the nail on the head there. I think it's time to use a different term to ascribe these toxic traits than simply labelling it "toxic masculinity". Maybe a term that's less antagonistic and gender neutral. Got anything in mind Abby?
WE LOVE MR CROCKET
Reece is actually incredible
This was a pretty convoluted representation of what stoicism actually is. Much like how toxic masculinity inaccurately portrays masculinity. Being stoic doesn’t mean to be apathetic but it means to embrace emotions as they are rather than our interpretations of it.
Yeah, it's pretty on the surface
@@Violet_Odorata in fairness depending on the audience it can be important to start off in shallow water and slowly move into the deep. This was only 14 min
Masculine traits that others with privilege deem as "toxic" may actually be a form of survival for those who may not come from a background of opportunity, freedom and safety. More specifically traits of "stoicism" and "toughness" in some is generally derived out of necessity. Environments that require a man to fight to survive is often the background from which these traits develop.
Men raised in times or environments of War, Starvation, Poverty, Abuse etc tend to development traits like toughness, perseverance, stoicism, impartiality, grit etc as a requirement for survival. These traits tend to stick with these men even in times of security and stability.
Generally these traits are hard to unlearn after a prolonged period of time but also some may feel that if these traits were effective through times of hardship it should be just as effective if not more in times of prosperity.
"Tough times create strong men, strong men create easy times. Easy times create weak men, weak men create tough times".
What easy times have created weak men?
Is that a legitimate question? If so the simple answer boils down to alot of men today being overwhelmingly complacent, lazy, overweight, unmotivated and over medicated.
They no longer develop the necessary skills to become capable, hardworking and responsible individuals through challenging life experiences and situations instead taking the "easy route" or expecting a handout whenever possible.
It basically boils down to this. Rough, challenging situations means men have to toughen up in order to survive these hardships. Without becoming stronger individuals, they can’t carry on, and will be swallowed by these hard times.
Hard times creates tough men because challenge is needed in order to grow. Challenge means you will have to work hard, smart, and be persistent in order to succeed.
@@TacticalNewbie101 Stop talking in chiches. Being unoriginal is weakness. A real man thinks for himself.
@Comfy Situations I assume you ment to spell "cliches" instead of "chiches". May I suggest proof reading your critique for spelling errors before posting.
How is any of what I said btw unoriginal and not of my own free thought? Because I referenced a quote that you subjectivly deem as a cliche?
Cliches are often the readiest and most effective tool available for quickly introducing informality into a discourse to make a point.
If using them in any form is "unoriginal" then all natural speakers, and most writers in human history are by default unoriginal. Because they all have used them at times to hammer home a specific point.
@@TacticalNewbie101 Only a weak man without something to say would be this pedantic. Stop being weak and change into a man.
Even if he's asleep, whisper in your man's ear... I love you. Men need to hear that when there is no obligation attached to it.
what about the reverse?
@@JohnYoungbloodJr
Same. And when the video is about what a man should do for his women my comment will coincide with the subject matter.
And now that we're on the subject of what a man likes.
When the discussion is about what one particular normal man needs at the moment he (does not) like it when somebody interjects something such as but what about this that and other.
Edit
In fact I've learned the hard way that a normal woman doesn't like that either.
@@JohnYoungbloodJr
When the action is about the person you're with let it be completely about them. When the discussion is about just one person do not use any other person or anything else as an example.
Agree
“Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.” -Ibn Khaldun
It is a cycle and we are in the last stage, buckle up.
Use great ideas to build yourself into a man of strength and character, a man of your word, skilful and with a purpose that serves the ones around you.
If you enjoy topics about masculinity and mastery, I invite you to explore the videos I share on the Mastery Order Channel.
Challenge yourself with some concepts about manhood, explore your masculine potential to the maximum and become the kind of man you would admire.
We can only better ourselves together, as men among men, so I invite you to use what I share and, of course, share your own opinions so that others can benefit from them as well.
Looking forward to your points of view.
All the best to you!
and women do not exist at all in this, hm? Maybe the word human would be better in this no?
Survival of the fittest, also @janna it doesn't matter if women are either weak or strong because they birth children. From an evolutionary standpoint women have always chosen stronger over weaker men. Now what really constitutes as "stronger" is dependent on whether or not a man can provide for a family, I suppose
@@janna1434 well i wont get into the feminism discussion, history have always told us that men are the providers in any house. Men amd women has their own important role to play in the community.
@@sa5er1234 THERE Y'ALL GO AGAIN WITH THE TRADITIONAL GENDER NORMS AND ROLES!!! WHEN WILL Y'ALL EVER REALIZE HOW HARMFUL THEY ACTUALLY ARE?!! I'M AS SERIOUS AS I CAN BE!!!
this term of "toxic masculinity" does not mean anything substantial, everyone can stick to it the definition he wants by digging in his imagination ... its massive use is the fashion now, but it will disappear gradually.
It’ll disappear when the problem disappears
Storic values are the best period
This young man is conflating, stoicism and bad behavior. Then calling it toxic masculinity. I certainly think that bad behavior is easy to identify and is not acceptable. However, he has done nothing to convince me that stoicism is harmful to men or society. Society needs strong men. Society needs men who can control their behavior, even when they are feeling pain, Hurt, anguish, or fear. Stoicism is useful.
Men who are weak themselves or those who want other men to stay weak would always conflate traditional masculine strong behaviours with toxic behaviour. It serves their purpose.
Both the wrestling coaches and the PE teacher did the right thing, they told you to control your emotions rather then letting them control you. What an idiotic statement it is that CONTROL of your emotions is what causes men to have UNCONTROLLABLE outbursts. The only real "toxic" view on male emotion would be to say that men do not feel emotion at all, which I have never seriously heard from any man in my life. Telling a young boy that he needs to be aware of and then overcome his emotions is literally the only way to help the boy become a self-sufficient and therefore virtuous man, and your suggestion that it is somehow then opposite is what is truly "toxic".
Control of emotions do NOT create uncontrollable outbursts, it's the suppression of emotions. Sometimes it's important to empathize with them in order to fully acknowledge those feelings. It's obviously important to keep control when possible, but you'll need to approach your feelings first. That's why people have outlets for their feelings, that's why stress relief exists. They did not provide an outlet, something he needed in the moment. Something you need before you get back into control.
@@NO_ir777 going and wrestling after he calms down would have been a great outlet, which is what they offered
@@harlancomer2801 doesn't that contradict your last statement though? You said nothing about an outlet. You only said he should've controlled them, which is pretty vague.
Why finally a comment like this just get 18 likes 🤣😒😒 agreed bro
@@NO_ir777 Not to suggest that the suppression of emotions is ideal, but it doesn't seem the case to me that even those at high risk of doing this are so prone to emotional outbursts.
I've consistently found instead that those most prone to the wildest and most thoughtless emotional outbursts are generally those who wear their heart on their sleeves: the types who seem to almost be obsessed about how everything makes them feel and spend over half their conversations talking about it.
The ideal to me is like a Zen Buddhist monk able to genuinely think peacefully and positively in the most trying of situations. Yet I'd still be willing to bet good money that even a person who risks suppressing their negative emotions is at less risk of both the frequency and extremity of their outbursts over the type who seems to devote so much of their time and energy on how everything makes them feel.
*See's title*
So, how long before this is taken down?
love this kid, definitely gonna hang out with him at gothic grill
Dear Reece, should you ever read this: Thank you for your great speech. It inspired me so much that I held a shortened version of it in front of my Communication Skills class.
Here for a second I thought it was going to be not all masculinity is toxic. For those who consider themselves masculine male. Calling it toxic masculinity is saying that all masculine men are toxic. Granted their dismissive behavior can be, but there are aspects of masculinity that we choose to identify with that we're proud of. We're not women after all unless we identify a search that's a different story. But when we identify as a man. It behoves anyone to not cut us down.
3:04 sounds like he’s mad cause he got dumpped, 3:50 how did this cause him no not talk to you??
Here’s the thing. Sometimes, you do need to put your feelings aside and hit the mat.
I don’t want society to throw the baby out with the bath water. Yes, being honest with your emotions is a virtue. Yes, men need an outlet to express themselves, but sometimes you need someone to not enable self-pity and tell you to get up and get moving.
If he truly wanted to be a competent wrestler, then you do have to ignore your feelings. Your feelings may tell you to quit jogging, to stop lifting weights, or to skip practice.
I'd say what most people confuse is letting yourself feel your feelings and drowning in them. Acknowledging you're hurt , allowing yourself to be sad for some time is healthy. but it becomes unhealthy if it's the only thing you're thinking about and letting yourself spiral down.
The boy was hurt bc they broke up. Somebody validates his feelings, it's ok to feel bad and that it happens. Now he has an easier time to accept what happened and can focus on other feelings/duties. If he had to ignore it, it would boil inside of him and he will have a harder time to get over the break up.
Also I think you kinda missed the point, it didn't seem like he wanted to be a competent wrestler. You got to acknowledge what you're feeling and being able to tell ypurself now is not the time to think about it and go on. But ignoring isn't a good option
Great talk
Why do they get off when you choke them pin them down and pull their hair?
Basically, he is explaining that it is necessary to weaken men, it is not better to strengthen women because life is not easy.
Use great ideas to build yourself into a man of strength and character, a man of your word, skilful and with a purpose that serves the ones around you.
If you enjoy topics about masculinity and mastery, I invite you to explore the videos I share on the Mastery Order Channel.
Challenge yourself with some concepts about manhood, explore your masculine potential to the maximum and become the kind of man you would admire.
We can only better ourselves together, as men among men, so I invite you to use what I share and, of course, share your own opinions so that others can benefit from them as well.
Looking forward to your points of view.
All the best to you!
Sad how this doesn't have as many views and likes as other videos. Sexism in our western cultures and societies are destroying us little by little. Making masculinity synonymous with being toxic is the most toxic thing you can do to humanity.
I don’t believe we should be talking about "toxic masculinity" when we already have the terms hegemonic masculinity and traditional masculinity.
Those masculinity traits that harm men and everyone around them are not uncommon or rare in any Westernized society. The discourse of privileged individuals tends to deny the harsh realities of people in oppression and disadvantage.
It sounds nice, but in the end, it is just self-indulgence.
I don't really follow, but I would say that these 'bad' traits will only become more common as we discourage masculine men and in turn get low T, weak men who have to compete with the top 20% of men because women have become promiscuous (with the top men).
Yup - everyone who has eyes can at first glance see that he is a true example of masculinity , resilience and wisdom :DD
When a man has NO ONE to turn to and is left alone to his stress, he either breaks from it or grows from it. You find out how to do it all yourself and you become this independent immovable mountain of a character that everyone can turn to at your fathers funeral. That everyone can rely on to problem solve, and protect and provide from the cruel and wicked.
Hard times make hard men
Hard men make peaceful times
Peaceful times makes weak men
Weak men create hard times
what is a weak man
@@haha-cv1dz men who do not understand the game they’re playing and think life is fair, or even if they know it isn’t they just complain in their head all day. it’s not about weathering the storm but learning to dance in the rain…. Embrace the yin to enjoy the yang (stoicism) As said by the romans “Enjoy yourself, it’s already later than you think”
I'm the most "toxic" looking man where I work, and I don't even do tattoos😂😂
All the so-called anti toxic masculinity folks adore me!! Deep down inside, everyone loves a man who's built like a statue and gets the job done!!
“It is better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war.”
0:29 I feel it’s a made up phrase, and a vague attempt at an insult to men
Great speech. My only critique is that the grandfather's response would not be considered stoicism, just a character flaw in that moment.
This dude would literally turn to dust if he encountered a cod loby
fight me, he's my best friend
Wouldn't want this dude wit me goin nowhere. All he's gonna do is cry if something happens
Women are disgusted by weakness, and no man wants a weak man by his side. Anger is the only acceptable emotion you're allowed to regularly show as a man, and those who show anything else just make it easier for women to weed them out of the dating pool. Nothing will change this base instinct.
i think you are overgeneralizing here. some women may not want to marry a man who is "weak" aka emotionally sensitive, but other women may see those traits as a good thing, indicative of emotional development and healthy communication. some women are attracted to a man who can be emotional in a healthy way.
a world in which men can only show anger is bad for men. bad for them emotionally (as they cannot simply be human and express the range of human emotions) and mentally (as they bottle up their true feelings resulting in mental health issues). everyone societally should be allowing men to be emotional and open. it's good for men and it's good for society.
@@jesss101 you're right, I'm generalizing a bit. Maybe to clarify, I should say that women will typically choose a guy who appears more reserved over a man who is quick to distress. Not just showing emotion, but showing strong emotions of fear or stress, sadness.
It's kind of like how some women date men who make less than them, but it's just generally not good for the relationship since she might be more easily swayed to date someone else
My wish is for all boys n men to know all of this. The world needs to change n I hope it happens soon cause it's all so sad things are this way 😔. I've observed this kind of thing my whole life and have been affected by it on the other end.
Positive masculinity and negative masculinity always sounded better to me. Or healthy and unhealthy masculinity. Instead of toxic.
Well toxic is a verb and fitting for exactly what it is.
Masculinity is an almost meaningless word. It is a set of attributes that are in flux, that need to be redefined as simply being a caring individual.
The 5 stages of loss.
denial.
anger.
bargaining.
depression.
acceptance.
Your friend was already on stage 2 after losing a relationship. You should have supported him instead of judging him.
It's like he hasn't seen how bad some women can be after a breakup.
I promise you he was supportive... he was still there for him. What he was saying was his OBSERVATION of his friend, not his judgement.
@@skezziee he immediately thought of the woman as correct, blamed his cousin's anger, and ignored the cousin when he blamed the woman. That's not being there for his cousin thats being a "Always Believe Women" beta male Ted Talker
4 stages I said to my friend when he's break up.
1) Accept the fact that's over.
2) Grief (be alone and cry if you want) but don't let it sunk you in.
3) Forgive (I know it's hard but once you learn the art of forgiveness, it's totally easy to forgive everyone for you own mental health).
4) Let it go (there's always a sunshine after storm, right? )😊
I love how all the comments are proving his points... just proves that he's right
я работаю в международный уголовное суд я мое подуга из малави жил в израиля мес против нарушена права человека в мира в виучил 9 договор права человека в Израиля всеобщая декларпция права человека международный пакт зконмонечский и курлтигныйправпа международный пакт граджанский и политический права конвенция ликвадация рассовой диркиманция конвенция ликвидация дискриминация женщин конвенция против пытка конвенция права ребенка конвенция изчелования конвенция права инвалидов
Developing real resilience is probably one of the best things you can do in life, that’s what the men in your life were trying to teach you. There is nothing virtuous about being weak, quite the opposite really. At the risk of sounding rude, please don’t model yourself after this kid.
being emotional is not being weak. being emotional is healthy and human. men should be allowed to be emotional, not bottle things up resulting in mental health issues and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Just call it machismo not toxic masculinity because the term toxic masculinity is such a cheesy silly term.
You sir, need masculinity. Once you become stronger, mentally, physically, morally, and especially spiritually, you will laugh at this talk you gave. Your coaches and teacher were all right
And you sir, are the reason why we need talk like his
YOU'RE JUST BABBLING YOUR MOUTH FOR SOME REASON!!! YOU DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO ELABORATE ON YOUR POINTS!!! DID HE MAKE YOU MAD OR SOMETHING?!!
😂
Damn. So many people in these comments completely missed the point of the video. Being in touch with your emotions doesn’t make you weak. It’s being the stereotypical, stoic, emotionally detached man our fathers were that makes us weak.
Being stoic doesn't make you weak. Stoicism makes men strong and builds character. Read more about stoicism before talking nonsense. 👍
@@venkyratnam HE MEANS "STOIC" LIKE "MAN UP AND BOTTLE YOUR EMOTIONS" AND NOT THE PHILOSOPHY!!! USE YOUR DAMN COMPREHENSION SKILLS!!!
@@sfridisow185 that's the wrong definition given by APA. To be stoic means to be in control of your emotions. Look at its definition in older versions of oxford dictionary,
sto·ic. Often sto·i·cal [stoh-i-kuhl] . characterized by a calm, austere fortitude, especially in the face of trouble or loss; not giving in to one’s emotions:
Use in sentence: I'm normally pretty stoic about goodbyes.
@@venkyratnam I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN STOIC AS IN THE STOICISM MOVEMENT OR PHILOSOPHY AND WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!
@@sfridisow185 yeah if you get that then you should know that men should be stoic.
What about the toxic masculinity in the trans women groups. These people are trying to get rid of women.
What do we call it then? How would changing the name benefit resolving these problems? Shouldn't they get therapy?
If this is how modern young men think, our society is doomed.
Unfortunately many men think like that
Unfortunately I used to think like that.
I started watching Red Pill content like Fresh and Fit, Andrew Tate, Pearl and they made me realize I'm acting like the woman in my life and I should start becoming a man as I am a MAN after all.
I find NOTHING toxic about working out, staying LOYAL to my WORD, looking for ways to PROVIDE for my future WIFE and be able to PROTECT my girl or my HONOR if push comes to shove.
I used to think "you can always solve things with words", 2 weeks in a cell make you realize a man's world is a lot more dangerous than you wanna admit...
Do sport and feel good in your body. If you feel good then you can teach that to others. Same with you brain.
Sorry but a masculine man is what girls find attractive. It’s simple evolution and there is nothing wrong with being confident, strong, tough, brave, competitive, protective or macho. This taught me great life lesson on how to hold myself, be a gentleman, considerate, compitant, self aware, positive self image and leadership qualities. Just because anger is associated with masculinity doesn’t make masculinity toxic.
Tell this to Gerard Way or any Korean K-Pop star and watch them laugh in your face.
@@comfysituations3566 From what I observed, the korean k-pop star didn't completely disregard the quality of masculinity. Isn't the competitiveness of the industry itself shape the boys to be a freak of their nature, either through dancing or singing? Or be in shape? Or are those traits considered something that is inborn within the stans?
@@Violet_Odorata I think they'd probably have girls that were into them whether they were stars or not. Every "emo" that I went to high school with was hugely popular and they're just about the furthest thing possible from traditional masculinity.
@@comfysituations3566 bro its birt control
Femininity is the gentle, caregiving of life, masculinity is the indiscernible protecting of life. When equilibrium is achieved, both woman and man become invincible.
WELL SAID!!! WHAT BOOK OR RUclips VIDEO DID YOU TAKE THAT FROM?!! BECAUSE THAT'S DEFINITELY HOW REALITY WORKS!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAN DEVELOP SUCH A GOOD VIEW OF REALITY JUST FROM CONSUMING MEDIA!!! YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THINGS IN REAL LIFE FOR YOURSELF ANYMORE!!!
The behavior of men he is talking about has good evolutionary reasons for existing.
A better term for what we are seeing is “teenage masculinity.” There are many manboys that never grew up.
or stunted masculinity?
First, "Toxic Masculinity" does not mean all masculinities are toxic. Even the best definition of "masculine" I can think of - ""does not set out to non-defensively demean, hurt, or harm others *and* also uplifts the dignity, helps, or heals the weak"" -- has a problem. It doesn't account men who uplift, help, or heal others who have low assertiveness or defense skills. It also implies that strong bodied and backboned cocky jerks deserve less disrespect than a a timid and disspirited man who still is genuinely helpful, uplifting, and healing. Something's wrong with this picture. So no, toxic masculinity isn't about disparaging all forms of masculinity. It's just addressing dehumaninizing, abusive, and violent traits pop culture often tags as "masculine".
But I think he might have a point about the word choice "toxic." In the most extreme form, yes. But his grandfather's more subtle shortcomings didn't quite live up to that term. Was his rigidity a poison? Perhaps that term does harm boys who know they aren't like this. While defenders of the term are adamant they are not condemning masculinity per se, this could easily be misinterpreted by boys.
It's not toxic masculinity. There's nothing wrong with masculinity. What makes it toxic is the absence of any femininity.
oh man..I can't watch this any more..another dude trying to re- define an already definition and making money out of it...please stop crazy stuff man...youth way toooooo soft
Sometimes buck up and shrug it off is the best thing you can do. Other times you have to think things through a little more. The whole idea of "Toxic Masculinity" is ridiculous to me. Emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental strength are paramount to what is is to be a good man. What we lack is faith in God more so than anything. This kid and everyone he described are broken because they have no real meaning in their lives. Good men have hope for the future through faith and through that hope find motivation to stand up and push through difficulty. Faithless men are neutered men who create hard times as a product of their lack of moral understanding. Feelings are important, but we must develop self mastery. We ought to consciously control ourselves, our feelings shouldn't control us. It isn't that we need to push them away, but we should not be puppets to our emotions.
Sexism is always "toxic". Men and woman are the same in everyway besides the physical. Does it make sense for society to dictate which emotions (like anger) are acceptable and which are not? Any behavior without empathy, that objectifies others or sees others than less than human, is not justifiable or excusable in anyway.
What? Men and Women act very different, value different things, etc. There are lots of differences between men and women.
@@throngarastora7569 Wrong, both men and women have masculine and feminine qualities. Some use one type of quality more than others and that goes for both genders.
@@vb2806 masculine and feminine traits is different then the immutable difference between men and women
"Masculinity" is inherently good. You can't add toxic in front of it, it makes no sense. It's like saying toxic bravery.
I’m glad you tried to put on some man pants.
Instead how about we actually acknowledge the fact that this form of masculinity actually isn't negative to begin with? lol. No instead, continue to push the concept that will still be ignored.
@tido almond you just agreed with him lmao. He's saying it isn't masculine. It's false masculinity, not toxic or forms of masculinity. He's shifting the blame, not removing it. It's not masculinity. It's just toxic sexism
@tido almond he said forms of masculinity. There's no toxic forms of masculinity
@tido almond he said stunting forms of masculinity or something like that
Imagine thinking toxic masculinity is real.
don’t gotta imagine cuz it is
It is, don’t know where you’ve been if you think otherwise
Imagine leaving a comment on a video you don’t watch
@@elizabethoconnor5470 dude it is in general
Did you watch this...?
Please sign up for some military traing and become a man.
How is this guy going to defend the homeland..? This really what you want from men? 😂😂😂
That’s what I thought. Honestly, idk if I’d want to be alive in 40 years. Our foes around _aren’t_ doing this. At this rate, we’ll simply be fodder for Mexican Cartels, Terrorist organizations, Russia, North Korea, China. Maybe it’s a stretch. But I don’t know. Oh and apologies. It just came to me that you might not even be American, but I guess it could happen elsewhere too.
I believe in this life that good women is a follower for man and she is good for household for babies and food, and nothing she says is interesting. bad women are not equal with good women.since the stone age things was going ok untel this times , and the clock wise will go back insha Allah.
Hahaha. Good luck with that! 😅