These are the conversations we need to be having more in our society. It took me having a panic attack for 3 days straight to finally realize the folly in my repression cycles. That was 4 weeks ago. And such a similar story. I was done, had been dead inside for the last 6 years. Decided that day was my last. Reached out to an ex on a whim. She saved my life and I still don't think I deserved that from her after how I treated her years ago. I'll never be able to repay her or thank her enough. It's not an easy recovery when you are middle aged and have been repressing things your entire life, but if you are at that point in life I can tell you despite the struggle it is worth it.
“I’m inviting you, today, for just a few moments, to stop thinking so much and just to allow yourself to feel.” *“I’m* *inviting* *you* *to* *allow* *yourself* *to* *be* *human* *again.”* Thank you!
@@1012-v9r I suppose it’s a mistake that you replied to me, because I can’t really see the connection between what I quoted and what you wrote…🤷♀️ Have a good day!☺️✨
@@denisiamoiseanu8784 Well here's an explanation: Firstly, men are always treated like they're the problem. Telling men that they should feel implies that it's their fault, as opposed to looking at everything that causes problems. For example, men are usually demonised and emotionally abused for earning more or being in top ranking positions, even though women on average work fewer hours, are far less likely to do jobs that are dangerous enough to warrent hazard pay (e.g. deep sea diving), and are more often known to leave stressful jobs. There are times when anyone, whether they be man or woman, should be criticized for what they do, and there are arguably many things that men should be called out for, but far too often, lecturing men of topics as trivial as masculinity often comes across as petty, condecending, contradictory and out of touch, especially when you don't know what someone else has been through or what their job is like, or who doesn't care about helping them: keep in mind that a gaslighting tactic is to make a victim think that practically everything is their fault, as well as convincing bystanders that the victim should not be believed, thus leading to learned helplessness when the victim feels like they can't talk to anyone. Secondly, emotions can be irrational. A Disney PSA called 'Reason & Emotion' emphasises the dangers of indulging in pathos and exessive wants without thought to the consequences,; to the point where the subject in the video is radicalised by nazis. Plus stories like Le morte d'Arthur, Spiderman 3, The Bramin's Wife & the Mongoose, the story of St. Guinford and the story of Gelert all highlight the dangers and negative consequences of acting soley on negative emotion and indulging in the potentially erroneus perspectives that can lead to following through with the emotional responses from those perspectives. As mentioned in the previous point, it's somewhat contradictory: some of the most emotional people are those with bordline personality disorder and codependants, possibly like Anikin Skywalker. Plus, stories that involve sacrifice or a moral duty to others have a narrative that with great power comes great responsibility and that people should ignore their own wants in favour of their duty to others. The jedi (based on Buddist philosophy) in Star Wars are meant to be compassionate about others and save others, while be understanding that all things die eventually and should not prevent the deaths of others and not care about someone they care about dying: you can see why some may see a contradiction. Thirdly, sometimes people have to take emotional hurt and act like their emotions are invalid in order to listen to another perspective, even though doing that exessively can be very damaging to their mental health.
Halluce's response is what this talk should have been about. Masculinity is not killing men, it's people's misinterpretation/misunderstanding of "masculinity" that may lead to suicide.
@Halluce You're quite welcome. The world would be a better place if people could just understand/accept that all humans have a masculine and a feminine side, both of which should always play a role in all things.
I was a school girl and currently identify as a woman folk.. but I still struggle with my emotions and intuitive feelings. A lot of man folk have helped me stay in this narrative.. but I'm glad to find some (like YOU Rob!!!) now that completely shatter that. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING!!! Love this talk!
Calling up someone you trust. Great advice if you have someone in your life you can trust. This is a great talk but you were blessed with a hidden support system.
that's true but I will say this for anyone else needing to read this: Check closely among all the people you know, probably you can trust more people than you originally thought so! To be helped, or in order to have a support system, you also have to allow yourself to be supported... I say this because I have a couple of friends with this problem... I just wish they could allow me to help.
I would never wish suicidal thoughts on any human being ever and I think it is terrible that Rob Wang has gone through this (so have I), but I do not share with him the same sentiments regarding how the traits of masculinity came about. 5:28 The traits mentioned beforehand were an absolute neccessity for men to develop if they wanted to stand a chance of survival in the natural world. Now we live a relatively comfortable life and those traits are not called upon as emergently, but we can't ignore the fact that bravery, leadership, stoiscism and protectiveness are part of the inherent masculine psychological archetype and not solely rootless knowledge passed on from father to father. You will find that in difficult times adversary will force men to develop these virtues again. When I dealt with suicidal thoughts I felt numb. I wanted to cry but I couldn't do it until I talked about it with a family member and at that moment tears streamed down from my face like a waterfall. I supresssed my emotions not because our cultural inheritance programmed me to believe that I, as a man, should not feel emotions, but because I was deeply ashamed of myself as a human being, not as a man. Masculinity is NOT killing men, suicidal thoughts are killing men and that can be the result of many, many things.
could you elaborate how you were deeply ashamed as a human and not a man? Are you trying to say the traits of masculinity are embedded in mens inconscious mind, so thats why you felt ashamed of being yourself? I see the values he mentioned as positive masculine traits (in general) but I think the point is getting too attached to these ideas can make many men feel like theyre ''less than'' just because they dont stick to them... I mean masculinity is not killing men per se but the idea of them *needing* to live by them 100% is very dangerous. Everything in excess is bad, the problem with men in special is if they have troubles, instead of talking it out and seeking help, many don't reach out to other people because it'll be seen as less manly/stoic/brave or whatever... so in that sense, yes, masculinity (be it toxic or in excess??) is the problem. But I can just speak for what Ive heard or seen, maybe your experience is different. I just cant grasp it entirely.
In discussions of "toxic" masculinity, women's expectations of men are usually left out, and their frequent disappointment in men who are too emotional. One approach is to increase emotional awareness and to channel that toward exercising greater emotional self-discipline, and being very selective in how and to whom vulnerability is expressed (i.e. find trusted friends who have proved themselves).
As a woman, I will say that there is a difference in expectations and reality and a lot of people (not just women, but them in this context,) find it easy to *say* they want men to be honest and talk about their emotions, be more open with their emotions, etc., but do not look at themselves and ask whether they are deterring what they say they want. Because if you want honesty, you have to not react in a way that deters honesty. If you want more openness, you can't react in a way that deters openness. It is not easy to change habits or to take time to think before reacting, but it's worth it. Unfortunately, too many refuse to look at themselves and their own part in the problem, laying it all at the feet who need help and support to do the changing (and having expectations about what that change should be in their eyes.)
@MyLifeInJeju if a man is trying to take responsibility for his toxic masculinity, are you going to criticize him and berate him or do something that would encourage him to keep taking responsibility? I know as I was growing up, whenever I would get yelled at for something, I was more inclined to hide future mistakes to avoid negative reactions. You know, positive reinforcement.
So two things first: 1) His statement was: Consider womens expectations towards men as one factor for toxic masculinity, for all I understood. You responded to that by stating "Women are not to blame, men themselves are and should take accountability." Just so we don't confuse anything. 2) Now we come to comparing those two, where the first one adresses an issue as one among many factors, while the other statement is a quite complete decline of any guilt whatsoever among the adressed group in society. For all I know, there are men out there who develop toxic masculinity as an reaction to how they are observed by women, as well as there are women - and I will earn hate for that - who find themselves quite comfortable in the current systematic, which was pointed out here as "sexistic, patriarchic, etc." So here is my question now: How about we stop looking at this problematic in a binarylogical way, where one gender is to blame for certain circumstances? Something like that is about tendencies, as well as reactions to increase integrity to our current environment. So if someone states that he thinks there is one factor to the topic he wants people to be thoughtful about, and another person states that gender XY is guilty, I find myself routing for the first statement, and to be completely honest asking myself who the real sexist in this short debate really was. Sorry about that.
The irony of so many men insulting this guy and opposing his cause is cracking me up, since they also seem to propose that the culprit is "toxic" femininity. (it's cringe even typing that term) What he failed to mention is the fact that all of the hardship of men not being able to get in touch with their inner world like women have, is a phenomenon encouraged and imposed by men on themselves and others. What makes this even more ironic is the fact that they also insist on further placing the blame on women for allegedly mocking sensitive men. But here I am, a woman, taking his side. Talk about not taking any responsibility.
@@sreenivas6071 Please do elaborate on what precisely is toxic femininity and how does that play a role in men's main struggles? (being the majority of criminals, not showing positive emotions, being twice more likely to commit S, etc.)
I wouldn't call most of how society treats men toxic femininity, but rather societal apathy towards the struggles of Men unless they are famous. The only thing close to toxic femininity that I see is a very small amount of women that say all men should die, or say "we should live on this planet without men" (again this is not said very often except from bullies and fringe groups) but because that's toxic behaviour and a very pro woman (almost verging on being similar to a fascist viewpoint) stance, it can very loosely be considered toxic femininity.
Being masculine is amazing and fulfilling as a man, and yes men should be strong. Weak men reek havoc on society. We just need to help each other out a bit more
@@stevennewlands2978 You're right, weak men do reek havoc on society. But in my opinion, the truly weak and fragile men are the ones who are so insecure with themselves that they believe the only way they can be respected in a society is by putting down others that they view as "less than", as if shaming others for baseless traits somehow makes up for their own failures. Yes, Masculinity is amazing and strong, but there are so many more ways to be strong than just through physical traits alone. The greatest minds in history were not gym bros but men of mental and artistic strength. Even the founding fathers of America wore frilly clothes and bows. Our society could grow so much stronger if we let go of simple things and focused on what really mattered.
@@drapplesauce3354 totally agree with you. There is more than one way of being strong. I wont dispute that. Being weak minded and bodied tho is just bad for everyone.
@@gotbrain3333 Toxic masculinity certainly is. Some men are insecure about themselves, so much so every time someone underlines specific issues concerning the masculine world they decide to turn their backs and talk nonsense. I’m a man and I’m aware of the problems listed in the video, I know what toxic masculinity and misogyny are because we were all raised these way, no matter the culture, no matter the part of the world, no matter the gender etc. but I don’t feel emasculated when someone lets me reflect about it. It’s obvious that these people’s beloved masculinity is pretty frail.
@@dayingale3231 Spot on. It's ironic how these men try so hard to run away from what they deem as being fragile, but in the process becoming the definition of fragility. Not taking any responsibility, turning a blind eye, over reacting and being emotionally unstable and irrational.
How to be Human: - regardless of gender. We need balance _within_ our self! I agree - 3:51 "Suicide starts in the mind". And few brain-owners are taught how to be _response-able_ to align the _Self Limiting_ thoughts and beliefs we blindly adopt.... like "I'm not enough", or "I don't matter" etc... First rule of being a _balanced_ human should be to attend to any imbalance _within_. EG: between these conflicting beliefs: which are simply 'learned meanings' we apply to our sense of identity. 👉 These show up as negative emotions - every - single -time! And can only be lead to peace by the owner/creator of them - regardless whether you are male or female.
how to be human! Exactly Just as women are liberating themselves from imposed patriarchal values, I wish men could also try and let them go. Society is harsh.... We are all humans and we need balance.
So I will argue this point. I am a Firefighter, I am a man. It doesn’t make you less of a man to take care of yourself. Its something that took me a long time to figure out. Masculinity isn’t killing men. It is the mindset that masculinity means you are supposed to just tough it out. Talking takes strength, it doesn’t make you less masculine or less of a man. It is just being human. Emotions aren’t solely a trait in women. Everyone feels emotions, we feel pain, we feel anger, and we feel joy. I was raised to be willing to stand up for others, but to also take care of myself so I can help others. But it took a bad wreck I worked almost pushing me past the point of no return for me to realize I wasn’t taking care of myself. It takes strength to open up. Don’t be afraid to open up. It takes being a strong man or woman to discuss your emotions. So just recognize that. Don’t be afraid of how people view you, you will learn some of the strongest people around you are some of the most vulnerable and self-aware people.
Lack of purpose, when money is the goal you can never have enough. When your purpose is the goal it becomes you and you'll never be unhappy. We are trained in Schools that others are our competitors for money. And the person with the most money is seen as smart and a leader. This couldn't be further from the truth. A person with purpose is. Good luck . No one is hearing no one is listening. Get that money !!
Agree, on the other hand what you mentioned about money I think is all consecuence of the global market based economy becoming more competitive each day.
@@guillermochavez2515 resources are finite . There is a very thin window of time for a person to think . Then it's back to survival mode , do I have enough, do my loved ones have enough. Through history we've murder for information and land for nourishment of the armies. Technology can only move forward as fast as the brightest minds are not worried about survival. Money gives the illusion of enough when in reality its just subjective paper fantasy.
@@matthewstewart5113 sounds like a copout for degeneracy and control. You really think we can make it to other planets? Have a bad feeling were gonna show zero class to everyone while rich dance around like boobs and something catastrophic will end this short zero class story.
And we need to stop saying it and instead, START doing it. Slacktivism is not gonna change anything. But conviction and drive to “balance the world” is needed. Far easier to speak and say things instead of doing anything. Let’s prove people wrong then…
We need balance _within_ our self. 3:51 Suicide starts in the mind. And every brain-owner is not taught how to be response-able to the _Limiting_ thoughts and beliefs we blindly adopt.
Thank you for this inspiring talk, Rob. This was beautiful. One type of oppression that we do not talk about is male oppression. We're familiar with so many others that perhaps this one gets crowded out or perhaps it's a bit taboo to say that males experience oppression. Clearly they do. It starts when we are born when everyone wants to know if a women had a boy or a girl. Right then, we start shaping that newborn's life and self-image into male or female, man or women, and we stop allowing them to be fully human beings. That is sad and tragic, and, as Rob noted, it leads to so much pain. It leads to failed relationships, toxic masculinity, and bad health. It leads to "stoic men" who are so emotionally shut down they can't express their feelings. And it can lead to suicide. Worst still, the cycle repeats itself when that man has his own boys. It's a cycle that is further reinforced by women, other children, and by society, etc. Let boys and men feel all their emotions so the can be fully human beings.
He was very lucky to have the resources he had. Male suicide has a lot to do with a lack of access to assistance. It's great that a change in thinking pulled him out of his funk, but not every man has someone who loves them to call, or money to cushion a fall. Look at the demographics, a bad breakup, and often the loss of a second income has men facing living on the street with literally nowhere to turn. Society's idea of masculinity denies men the resources they need to live. It's not an internal struggle, we need to rethink how we treat men.
His story sounds like mine, right down to the woman that was in his life. I am going through finding myself now, hoping I will one day get to where he is.
The event that shattered who you did not come in a vacuum. Childhood trauma or unmet childhood needs create a foundation-less human being. The solution is building that foundation with inner child reparenting. There are a few modalities that could help: brainspotting with parts work, attachment-focused EMDR (not classical EMDR), Internal Family Systems, Comprehensive Resource Model, Lifespan Integration, Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy, Neurolinguistic Programming, Safe and Sound Protocol, Somatic Experiencing, NeuroAffective Relational Model, neurofeedback (classical or LENS), clinical hypnosis with a trauma-informed therapist, Emotional Freedom Technique tapping, Accelerated Resolution Therapy.
The definition of masculinity has changed today i feel. Masculinity is frowned upon, seen as JUST toxic, an egoistic trait and bashed upon by woke people. So what is masculinity then?
I'm not "Woke" so I can't answer what they think Masculinity us nowadays. I just roll my eyes at them and don't care what they claim about me as a guy before they know me.
A very important topic, but it also fails to address that the majority of men do seek help before a suicide attempt, but they don't get the help that is necessary. The issue doesn't exactly align masculinity or society (for the most part) but with legislation and government.
I think everyone needs to watch this, its important to our community, men and women are equal we all need help sometimes and it is okay for men to cry, its okay not to feel okay sometimes, to everyone out there who has trouble and anxiety i hope you be strong and you are not alone, its okay, dont try to live up to people's expectations towards you, just be yourself and live your life the way you want for yourself, this makes me emotional, thank you TEDx and thank you Robwang for sharing your story about how you deal with an emotional suicidal thoughts and what we should actually do instead of just giving up lives, it means a lot to us
What a wonderful and inspiring story! Thank you so much for sharing. ☺️ I hope you are doing better now and that you have indeed found your own meaning in life. Emotions can be great you know. In fact they can be utterly fantastic. Depending on how you look at it emotions give color to a otherwise nihilistic and meaningless existince. What you just described is toxic masculinity and I'm glad people are getting more and more aware of that because the sooner we get rid of that junk the better. Your story gives hope, and I'm glad I've clicked on this video.
@@robversus And I'm glad you did! :) You're the second person I know who stood on a Ted-Talk platform (something definitely worth to be proud of if you'll ask me) and both of you left that one deep impression that helped me too. I've added your first uploaded video to my Watch Later list. Now I have something to look forward too. :) Really, I hope you don't mind me saying this but from those few minutes that I saw you on stage I can tell you straight up that you have a lot to offer. More importantly tnsn me saying this is of course that you'll be the one saying this to yourself. ☺️
@@Leto85 hey I really appreciate the vote of confidence. Suddenly getting this much commentary and attention has stirred up a lot of self doubt. Hearing the impact for you and others has been really helpful. Appreciate you - and I'm happy to hear this talk hit home for you!
Men are not allowed to feel, only to suppress their emotions. Thus they never learn how to process and release emotional trauma. Thoughts are tied to and shaped by our experience, even the emotional ones. I am in a variety of groups wherein we learn and experience the various methods of releasing emotional traumas. My constant secret inner thought about these groups is, where are all the men? . 99.9% of the participants are women.
This is awesome! You made me cry. Thank you for opening yourself like that, and explain the effects of masculinity in mental health. I can't believe the comments on this video. Society fall down has nothing to do with "lack of masculinity". It's just the opposite. This world is burning thanks to excessive masculine point of view, toxic as it is: to women, children, men itself, environment, etc.
i am pretty sure this is a case the dose making the poisen. For me getting is touch with my masculin side and learning what parts are healthy for me, where a good part of recovering after a suicide attempt. I feel like masculinity gets a bad rep since the prositiv side never gets mention, but like i said it can be a medicin but you shouldnt overdose on it and make it toxic
@@theodorek2673 Im glad you could use your masculinity to overcome what hapenned to you. But I think it's not a matter of "amount" or dose. As a therapist I can tell you that it's about redefine what we are used to call masculine, masculinity, etc. The negative side of it, such as being always strong, provider, successful, not having the possibility to share joy or sadness, crying, etc. Society says if you are a male, you can't do that, if u do, you are weak. You can only express rage. And I think those are the things we want to change, because if men can't talk about those things, you are most likely to suffer mental illness, suicide, commit crimes against others, etc.
Humans are machines with personality. Even we are different, we have the same base structure and we should accept each other , because we all have problems, we are imperfect, and that's what makes us humans. This topic can be seen from many angles, but the main idea is that we should understand better each other and develop out emphaty, so that we will be able to understand us , our thoughts and feelings.
To the person reading this, please do not let your current reality stop you from getting what you want. Remember we are only at the bottom because we are looking for a way to get back up. Implant positive self-image inside you and I promise you will one day get what you want. Cheers. When you give up, that's when it begins.
Know yourself, to live healthier. One thing is for certain, if you choose to lie to yourself about your current situation, ignore warnings, signs about the way you lead and carry yourself thru life, you will inevitably become an enemy of yourself. That enemy will without a doubt play a part in killing you faster. A good practice I adopted from working in a dangerous warehouse is to ask yourself from time to time, am I doing this properly and safely, am I missing something? Ground yourself in reality, this will make your decisions smarter, take the time once a month to consider your health, your environment and your path forward. Keep a visual reminder somewhere to never miss that.
If you consider yourselves "real men"... which I suppose depending on your definition... Crying is shame? Freaking A Skippy...We ALL HAVE TEAR DUCTS! EVEN ANIMALS! *A REAL MAN* is attractive to know he is unashamed to cry. Insurrectionists kept shouting out *TESTOSTERONE* & I thought they should have a snip, drained. Rumors claim steroids were found on their persons. Sad is the lies, the using. Their guy who promised to walk with them told yet another lie. He's free. They're doing time. God asks to come to Him in ALL things, the truth. The author of lies is happy to see this nonsense. Remember this. Blessed are the peacemakers. 🍃🕊️🍃
It’s also a fact that one needs to carefully examine those who possess convictions charisma, intelligence, and a well-rounded sense. I am proud to masculine, and I’m definitely amongst the few who would be a “real man,” and yet also be in tune to the emotions instead of the old adage of “never cry,” “man up,” or other things mentioned to our parents and grandparents. The rampant hijacking of both masculinity and femininity is appalling, when things are always thrown around and labeled as toxic. And it’s important to distinguish the behaviors And social media fuels the fire. So it definitely is such a feedback loop that really endangers everyone. And which is why we would never gain a semblance of ease in the future
If people are desperately unhappy - one must walk away for their well being. Life is very short - why do people hold back & live with sadness, frustration & hidden anger. You are the Master or Mistress of your life. Deep down…people know why they are unhappy & afraid to change their lives…..just do it…..seek & ye shall find !
Suppress our emotions will only lead to our own suffering and our loved ones. I m so thankful for this unsuppression about toxic masculinity presentation.
I was upset at the title. It was misleading. Masculinity isn’t killing men, suppressing emotions is. You can be masculine and speak to a therapist or close freind about troubles.
Nothing wrong with being masculine i also feel its because men are not being masculine in the correct way. They are being masculine in a toxic way or simply have depression. Being masculine as good man is very fulfilling. Also we live in such a way now where no one faces adversity willingly and that is a bigger problem.
Also, actual masculinity is also often called toxic so many men become bitches to conform and when they can't suppress their natural masculinity it comes out toxic since it was always suppressed and never nurished or guided or tought how to manage and use it for it's actual natural purpose.
I agree with all of this wholeheartedly. But, and uncomfortable truth is people are uncomfortable with people in pain, mental emotional or physical. I am not special. I too have gone through this experience. The majority of my life has been major depression episodes with suicidal idealization and I had to learn how to reach out to others. But, unfortunately now in my life I only have two people I can reach out to and I definitely feel like I'm going to lose one of them very soon just because I'm going to be forced to move out of California because it's too expensive to live here when you're disabled and live alone and can't find anyone or anywhere to live within your budget. And I feel like my one solid friend is getting really burnt out and I also don't know if I'm going to lose them. I have a feeling something's got to happen between us. I really hope not but I don't know, I can't make that shot. Also, with this I know it sounds like "oh, this person probably has been nothing but sad and mopey to their friends... XYZ but if that was the truth then they totally would have left a long time ago and they wouldn't have been my friends to begin with. It's always been episodic and I've always done my absolute best in trying to self soothe and deal with my problems myself but like this guy said, it gets completely impractical at a certain point but unfortunately I need to know what to do now when reaching out doesn't work. I've tried online support groups and they don't work. I'm too scared for hotlines and also they make me paranoid because I've heard stories of people being reported and taken in and that causes more distress than it ever does help in the majority of situations. I don't know, I feel like at a certain point it just circles back into having to fend for yourself. I'd kill to have anyone to be able to reach out to when I was feeling like this.
remember this is how you define what it means to be a man .Your views of happiness was based upon money? i bet if you wrote this paper on masculine 20 years from now your view will be different
"When you give rise to that which is within you, what you have will save you. But if you do not give rise to it, what you do not have will destroy you." "When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living father. But if you will not know yourselves, you dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty."
That is the responsibility. 🌎TEDx | we have to one another as 🌍human beings🌏. And this is a difficult responsibility to embrace. For human history has often been a record of nations and tribes -- and, yes, religions -- subjugating one another in pursuit of their own interests. Yet in this new age, such attitudes are self-defeating. Given our interdependence, any world🌍 order that elevates one nation or group of people over another will inevitably fail. So whatever we think of the past, we must not be prisoners to it. Our problems must be dealt with through partnership; our progress must be shared. I Thank you. 🌏 ### .
@@rischio7678 in short it’s assigning a behavior to a persons gender that will have lasting mental health impacts that inevitably hurt others or themselves. If you listen to his speech, the examples are provided with the data. He is speaking about masculinity as being more loving and nurturing.
Opss.. TEDx | maybe you're right! We must say openly to each other the things we hold in our hearts and that too often are said only behind closed doors. There must be a sustained effort to listen to each other; to learn from each other; to respect one another; and to seek common ground. As the Holy Koran tells us, "Be conscious of God and speak always the truth." That is what I will try to do today -- to speak the truth as best I can, humbled by the task before us, and firm in my belief that the interests we share as human beings are far more powerful than the forces that drive us apart. That is United Nations | الأمـــــمُ المتّـحــــدَة ideas, they are human rights. And that is why we will support them everywhere. Thank you. And May God's peace 🌏 be upon you all. Thank you. 🌎
Only problem I saw with this is that he was not addressing why men should not cry I think I speak for alot of young people when I say that when I saw a tear out of my dad's eye, that was when I knew something was wrong and it installed me with fear, the man that is not scared of anything, the strong being that will protect me when needed showed weakness, then my mom started crying, I remember that very well, I was just shocked, Men not crying is a problem yes, but it's also one of our bigger strengths to stand there strong when needed, to head on the bus to the Frontline with a smile to install confidence in the ones we love and to make sure they know that it will be fine
I have a friend who keeps going through the thoughts. It’s sad because he’s got talent like anyone else. It’s a shame we both live in a world that wouldn’t cared if we died
No my friends, its weakness that is killing men. Pass through this brief patch of time in harmony with nature and when you die, fall like a ripened olive gracefully, praising the tree that bore you and the earth that grew you. What is the meaning of our lives? THAT IS NOT OUR QUESTION TO ASK! Instead we are asked that question. It is our lives that are the answer. Peace lies with understanding what masculinity is. Masculinity is virtue, self-control, justice and courage. How can this be killing men? These people that say things like that... do not listen to them!
🤣🤣hilariously funny. However! Sheeple, or sheep. One in the same. Humans are all different! Anyone who believe different, HAVE been raised to be, or are plain Sheeple! And I feel sorry for them
Men have to be strong, that will never change. It’s been the case since the beginning of our species, and it won’t change regardless of whatever society or psychology says. We’re the ones that go to war. We’re the ones that sacrifice ourselves so that our families may live. It’s our role as men, and while it’s not always fair it’s life.
I came across a story that native american soldiers would all go to the river to cry after they just had a war. Doing what you think needs to be done and talking about how you feel or releasing pent-up stress aren't mutually exclusive
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yes it kills us. For the greater good. Men have always been pillars of stone, and we don't have the right to fail, because it could destroy what us pillars, are supporting. I am feeling numb, I understand what yall are going trough. But we have pride, we are MEN, BY GOD. We need to stop caring about our little lives, we need to be the pillars people deserves.
These are the conversations we need to be having more in our society. It took me having a panic attack for 3 days straight to finally realize the folly in my repression cycles. That was 4 weeks ago. And such a similar story. I was done, had been dead inside for the last 6 years. Decided that day was my last. Reached out to an ex on a whim. She saved my life and I still don't think I deserved that from her after how I treated her years ago. I'll never be able to repay her or thank her enough. It's not an easy recovery when you are middle aged and have been repressing things your entire life, but if you are at that point in life I can tell you despite the struggle it is worth it.
“I’m inviting you, today, for just a few moments, to stop thinking so much and just to allow yourself to feel.”
*“I’m* *inviting* *you* *to* *allow* *yourself* *to* *be* *human* *again.”*
Thank you!
That's nothing more than victim blaming; you're just another abuser who covers up real topics like false accusations.
@@1012-v9r I suppose it’s a mistake that you replied to me, because I can’t really see the connection between what I quoted and what you wrote…🤷♀️
Have a good day!☺️✨
@@denisiamoiseanu8784 Well here's an explanation:
Firstly, men are always treated like they're the problem. Telling men that they should feel implies that it's their fault, as opposed to looking at everything that causes problems. For example, men are usually demonised and emotionally abused for earning more or being in top ranking positions, even though women on average work fewer hours, are far less likely to do jobs that are dangerous enough to warrent hazard pay (e.g. deep sea diving), and are more often known to leave stressful jobs. There are times when anyone, whether they be man or woman, should be criticized for what they do, and there are arguably many things that men should be called out for, but far too often, lecturing men of topics as trivial as masculinity often comes across as petty, condecending, contradictory and out of touch, especially when you don't know what someone else has been through or what their job is like, or who doesn't care about helping them: keep in mind that a gaslighting tactic is to make a victim think that practically everything is their fault, as well as convincing bystanders that the victim should not be believed, thus leading to learned helplessness when the victim feels like they can't talk to anyone.
Secondly, emotions can be irrational. A Disney PSA called 'Reason & Emotion' emphasises the dangers of indulging in pathos and exessive wants without thought to the consequences,; to the point where the subject in the video is radicalised by nazis.
Plus stories like Le morte d'Arthur, Spiderman 3, The Bramin's Wife & the Mongoose, the story of St. Guinford and the story of Gelert all highlight the dangers and negative consequences of acting soley on negative emotion and indulging in the potentially erroneus perspectives that can lead to following through with the emotional responses from those perspectives.
As mentioned in the previous point, it's somewhat contradictory: some of the most emotional people are those with bordline personality disorder and codependants, possibly like Anikin Skywalker. Plus, stories that involve sacrifice or a moral duty to others have a narrative that with great power comes great responsibility and that people should ignore their own wants in favour of their duty to others. The jedi (based on Buddist philosophy) in Star Wars are meant to be compassionate about others and save others, while be understanding that all things die eventually and should not prevent the deaths of others and not care about someone they care about dying: you can see why some may see a contradiction.
Thirdly, sometimes people have to take emotional hurt and act like their emotions are invalid in order to listen to another perspective, even though doing that exessively can be very damaging to their mental health.
“Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.”
- G. Michael Hopf
Like Allan Turing.
Halluce's response is what this talk should have been about. Masculinity is not killing men, it's people's misinterpretation/misunderstanding of "masculinity" that may lead to suicide.
@Halluce You're quite welcome. The world would be a better place if people could just understand/accept that all humans have a masculine and a feminine side, both of which should always play a role in all things.
This was probably one of the best TED talks I watched, I actually watched all the way through instead of getting lost and changing the video.
This was powerful. I think I needed to hear this.
I was a school girl and currently identify as a woman folk.. but I still struggle with my emotions and intuitive feelings. A lot of man folk have helped me stay in this narrative.. but I'm glad to find some (like YOU Rob!!!) now that completely shatter that. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING!!! Love this talk!
one of the greatest ted talks i've ever heard, this means the world to me Rob. Thank you.
Calling up someone you trust. Great advice if you have someone in your life you can trust. This is a great talk but you were blessed with a hidden support system.
that's true but I will say this for anyone else needing to read this: Check closely among all the people you know, probably you can trust more people than you originally thought so!
To be helped, or in order to have a support system, you also have to allow yourself to be supported... I say this because I have a couple of friends with this problem... I just wish they could allow me to help.
I would never wish suicidal thoughts on any human being ever and I think it is terrible that Rob Wang has gone through this (so have I), but I do not share with him the same sentiments regarding how the traits of masculinity came about. 5:28 The traits mentioned beforehand were an absolute neccessity for men to develop if they wanted to stand a chance of survival in the natural world. Now we live a relatively comfortable life and those traits are not called upon as emergently, but we can't ignore the fact that bravery, leadership, stoiscism and protectiveness are part of the inherent masculine psychological archetype and not solely rootless knowledge passed on from father to father. You will find that in difficult times adversary will force men to develop these virtues again.
When I dealt with suicidal thoughts I felt numb. I wanted to cry but I couldn't do it until I talked about it with a family member and at that moment tears streamed down from my face like a waterfall. I supresssed my emotions not because our cultural inheritance programmed me to believe that I, as a man, should not feel emotions, but because I was deeply ashamed of myself as a human being, not as a man. Masculinity is NOT killing men, suicidal thoughts are killing men and that can be the result of many, many things.
could you elaborate how you were deeply ashamed as a human and not a man?
Are you trying to say the traits of masculinity are embedded in mens inconscious mind, so thats why you felt ashamed of being yourself?
I see the values he mentioned as positive masculine traits (in general) but I think the point is getting too attached to these ideas can make many men feel like theyre ''less than'' just because they dont stick to them...
I mean masculinity is not killing men per se but the idea of them *needing* to live by them 100% is very dangerous.
Everything in excess is bad, the problem with men in special is if they have troubles, instead of talking it out and seeking help, many don't reach out to other people because it'll be seen as less manly/stoic/brave or whatever... so in that sense, yes, masculinity (be it toxic or in excess??) is the problem. But I can just speak for what Ive heard or seen, maybe your experience is different. I just cant grasp it entirely.
In discussions of "toxic" masculinity, women's expectations of men are usually left out, and their frequent disappointment in men who are too emotional. One approach is to increase emotional awareness and to channel that toward exercising greater emotional self-discipline, and being very selective in how and to whom vulnerability is expressed (i.e. find trusted friends who have proved themselves).
As a woman, I will say that there is a difference in expectations and reality and a lot of people (not just women, but them in this context,) find it easy to *say* they want men to be honest and talk about their emotions, be more open with their emotions, etc., but do not look at themselves and ask whether they are deterring what they say they want. Because if you want honesty, you have to not react in a way that deters honesty. If you want more openness, you can't react in a way that deters openness. It is not easy to change habits or to take time to think before reacting, but it's worth it. Unfortunately, too many refuse to look at themselves and their own part in the problem, laying it all at the feet who need help and support to do the changing (and having expectations about what that change should be in their eyes.)
@MyLifeInJeju No where did I say that “women are to blame for toxic masculinity.”
@MyLifeInJeju That’s not what I wrote
@MyLifeInJeju if a man is trying to take responsibility for his toxic masculinity, are you going to criticize him and berate him or do something that would encourage him to keep taking responsibility? I know as I was growing up, whenever I would get yelled at for something, I was more inclined to hide future mistakes to avoid negative reactions. You know, positive reinforcement.
So two things first:
1) His statement was: Consider womens expectations towards men as one factor for toxic masculinity, for all I understood. You responded to that by stating "Women are not to blame, men themselves are and should take accountability."
Just so we don't confuse anything.
2) Now we come to comparing those two, where the first one adresses an issue as one among many factors, while the other statement is a quite complete decline of any guilt whatsoever among the adressed group in society.
For all I know, there are men out there who develop toxic masculinity as an reaction to how they are observed by women, as well as there are women - and I will earn hate for that - who find themselves quite comfortable in the current systematic, which was pointed out here as "sexistic, patriarchic, etc."
So here is my question now: How about we stop looking at this problematic in a binarylogical way, where one gender is to blame for certain circumstances?
Something like that is about tendencies, as well as reactions to increase integrity to our current environment.
So if someone states that he thinks there is one factor to the topic he wants people to be thoughtful about, and another person states that gender XY is guilty, I find myself routing for the first statement, and to be completely honest asking myself who the real sexist in this short debate really was.
Sorry about that.
The irony of so many men insulting this guy and opposing his cause is cracking me up, since they also seem to propose that the culprit is "toxic" femininity. (it's cringe even typing that term)
What he failed to mention is the fact that all of the hardship of men not being able to get in touch with their inner world like women have, is a phenomenon encouraged and imposed by men on themselves and others.
What makes this even more ironic is the fact that they also insist on further placing the blame on women for allegedly mocking sensitive men. But here I am, a woman, taking his side. Talk about not taking any responsibility.
Sure, toxic masculinity is a thing, but toxic femininity isn't? Go spew your BS somewhere else. Strength is life, weakness is death.
@@sreenivas6071 Please do elaborate on what precisely is toxic femininity and how does that play a role in men's main struggles? (being the majority of criminals, not showing positive emotions, being twice more likely to commit S, etc.)
men need to be masculine, but that doesn't mean toxic masculinity
I wouldn't call most of how society treats men toxic femininity, but rather societal apathy towards the struggles of Men unless they are famous.
The only thing close to toxic femininity that I see is a very small amount of women that say all men should die, or say "we should live on this planet without men" (again this is not said very often except from bullies and fringe groups) but because that's toxic behaviour and a very pro woman (almost verging on being similar to a fascist viewpoint) stance, it can very loosely be considered toxic femininity.
Masculinity is great
Agreed. Masculinity is chill, misogyny is not.
Being masculine is amazing and fulfilling as a man, and yes men should be strong. Weak men reek havoc on society. We just need to help each other out a bit more
@@stevennewlands2978 You're right, weak men do reek havoc on society. But in my opinion, the truly weak and fragile men are the ones who are so insecure with themselves that they believe the only way they can be respected in a society is by putting down others that they view as "less than", as if shaming others for baseless traits somehow makes up for their own failures. Yes, Masculinity is amazing and strong, but there are so many more ways to be strong than just through physical traits alone. The greatest minds in history were not gym bros but men of mental and artistic strength. Even the founding fathers of America wore frilly clothes and bows. Our society could grow so much stronger if we let go of simple things and focused on what really mattered.
@@drapplesauce3354 totally agree with you. There is more than one way of being strong. I wont dispute that. Being weak minded and bodied tho is just bad for everyone.
The comments below this video completely embody the issue.
They're also proving his case right. Masculinity is indeed killing men.
@@gotbrain3333 Toxic masculinity certainly is. Some men are insecure about themselves, so much so every time someone underlines specific issues concerning the masculine world they decide to turn their backs and talk nonsense. I’m a man and I’m aware of the problems listed in the video, I know what toxic masculinity and misogyny are because we were all raised these way, no matter the culture, no matter the part of the world, no matter the gender etc. but I don’t feel emasculated when someone lets me reflect about it. It’s obvious that these people’s beloved masculinity is pretty frail.
@@dayingale3231 Spot on. It's ironic how these men try so hard to run away from what they deem as being fragile, but in the process becoming the definition of fragility.
Not taking any responsibility, turning a blind eye, over reacting and being emotionally unstable and irrational.
Thanks for sharing this and your thoughts and heart with us today, Rob
Thanks for taking the time to comment, Ray.
It’s actually becoming the opposite. The lack of masculinity during this time is what’s hurting men.
💯
Fax my dude
yepp
Exactly
I agree
How to be Human: - regardless of gender. We need balance _within_ our self!
I agree - 3:51 "Suicide starts in the mind". And few brain-owners are taught how to be _response-able_ to align the _Self Limiting_ thoughts and beliefs we blindly adopt.... like "I'm not enough", or "I don't matter" etc...
First rule of being a _balanced_ human should be to attend to any imbalance _within_. EG: between these conflicting beliefs: which are simply 'learned meanings' we apply to our sense of identity.
👉 These show up as negative emotions - every - single -time! And can only be lead to peace by the owner/creator of them - regardless whether you are male or female.
how to be human! Exactly
Just as women are liberating themselves from imposed patriarchal values, I wish men could also try and let them go. Society is harsh.... We are all humans and we need balance.
Thank you for your time in making this TED talk. I really think that I was meant to hear this. Thanks.
Feeling nothing all the time is so sad.
This is hella true, i use to say that my girl know me more than i do cause she sees how i feel while i don't even get it myself ~
Rob - Happy to know you, brother. Thanks for sharing this. It's really great to hear your story. I'm here for you always.
So I will argue this point. I am a Firefighter, I am a man. It doesn’t make you less of a man to take care of yourself. Its something that took me a long time to figure out. Masculinity isn’t killing men. It is the mindset that masculinity means you are supposed to just tough it out. Talking takes strength, it doesn’t make you less masculine or less of a man. It is just being human. Emotions aren’t solely a trait in women. Everyone feels emotions, we feel pain, we feel anger, and we feel joy.
I was raised to be willing to stand up for others, but to also take care of myself so I can help others. But it took a bad wreck I worked almost pushing me past the point of no return for me to realize I wasn’t taking care of myself. It takes strength to open up. Don’t be afraid to open up. It takes being a strong man or woman to discuss your emotions. So just recognize that. Don’t be afraid of how people view you, you will learn some of the strongest people around you are some of the most vulnerable and self-aware people.
Lack of purpose, when money is the goal you can never have enough. When your purpose is the goal it becomes you and you'll never be unhappy. We are trained in Schools that others are our competitors for money. And the person with the most money is seen as smart and a leader. This couldn't be further from the truth. A person with purpose is. Good luck . No one is hearing no one is listening. Get that money !!
Well said. ☺️
Word 😢
Agree, on the other hand what you mentioned about money I think is all consecuence of the global market based economy becoming more competitive each day.
@@guillermochavez2515 resources are finite . There is a very thin window of time for a person to think . Then it's back to survival mode , do I have enough, do my loved ones have enough. Through history we've murder for information and land for nourishment of the armies. Technology can only move forward as fast as the brightest minds are not worried about survival. Money gives the illusion of enough when in reality its just subjective paper fantasy.
@@matthewstewart5113 sounds like a copout for degeneracy and control. You really think we can make it to other planets? Have a bad feeling were gonna show zero class to everyone while rich dance around like boobs and something catastrophic will end this short zero class story.
Such a powerful message, Thank you Rob
We need balance in the world 🌍🌎
And we need to stop saying it and instead, START doing it. Slacktivism is not gonna change anything. But conviction and drive to “balance the world” is needed. Far easier to speak and say things instead of doing anything. Let’s prove people wrong then…
We need balance _within_ our self. 3:51 Suicide starts in the mind. And every brain-owner is not taught how to be response-able to the _Limiting_ thoughts and beliefs we blindly adopt.
Thank you for this inspiring talk, Rob. This was beautiful. One type of oppression that we do not talk about is male oppression. We're familiar with so many others that perhaps this one gets crowded out or perhaps it's a bit taboo to say that males experience oppression. Clearly they do. It starts when we are born when everyone wants to know if a women had a boy or a girl. Right then, we start shaping that newborn's life and self-image into male or female, man or women, and we stop allowing them to be fully human beings. That is sad and tragic, and, as Rob noted, it leads to so much pain. It leads to failed relationships, toxic masculinity, and bad health. It leads to "stoic men" who are so emotionally shut down they can't express their feelings. And it can lead to suicide. Worst still, the cycle repeats itself when that man has his own boys. It's a cycle that is further reinforced by women, other children, and by society, etc. Let boys and men feel all their emotions so the can be fully human beings.
Excellent talk!
Thanks for sharing this your thoughts and minds with us today, Rob
Dude, you just touched a way too subjective and at the same time delicate
He was very lucky to have the resources he had. Male suicide has a lot to do with a lack of access to assistance. It's great that a change in thinking pulled him out of his funk, but not every man has someone who loves them to call, or money to cushion a fall. Look at the demographics, a bad breakup, and often the loss of a second income has men facing living on the street with literally nowhere to turn. Society's idea of masculinity denies men the resources they need to live. It's not an internal struggle, we need to rethink how we treat men.
His story sounds like mine, right down to the woman that was in his life. I am going through finding myself now, hoping I will one day get to where he is.
You will. Keep growing. Keep seeking. ✊
you can do it! please be kind and patient with yourself. everybody deserves that.
Nooo I don't think Soo ..actually masculinity has saved most men being victims of depression
No masculinity kills many men and women and same for feminity too . Both are socially constructed things
Powerful and moving. Thank you for sharing your story Rob, I know you'll be saving lives with this. Honor to know you brotha
The event that shattered who you did not come in a vacuum. Childhood trauma or unmet childhood needs create a foundation-less human being. The solution is building that foundation with inner child reparenting. There are a few modalities that could help: brainspotting with parts work, attachment-focused EMDR (not classical EMDR), Internal Family Systems, Comprehensive Resource Model, Lifespan Integration, Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy, Neurolinguistic Programming, Safe and Sound Protocol, Somatic Experiencing, NeuroAffective Relational Model, neurofeedback (classical or LENS), clinical hypnosis with a trauma-informed therapist, Emotional Freedom Technique tapping, Accelerated Resolution Therapy.
The definition of masculinity has changed today i feel. Masculinity is frowned upon, seen as JUST toxic, an egoistic trait and bashed upon by woke people. So what is masculinity then?
True
I'm not "Woke" so I can't answer what they think Masculinity us nowadays. I just roll my eyes at them and don't care what they claim about me as a guy before they know me.
@@canespugnaces2126 That's the best action you could or anyone could take towards this. Good on you sir.
@@RAJUBHAI-ww7em makes sense too, but we'll...throwing a wadd of cash on a woke persons face?
We are grateful you are here helping others!🆘
He's not. He's hurting others.
A very important topic, but it also fails to address that the majority of men do seek help before a suicide attempt, but they don't get the help that is necessary. The issue doesn't exactly align masculinity or society (for the most part) but with legislation and government.
I can relate to this, I had similar issues in the past
I think everyone needs to watch this, its important to our community, men and women are equal we all need help sometimes and it is okay for men to cry, its okay not to feel okay sometimes, to everyone out there who has trouble and anxiety i hope you be strong and you are not alone, its okay, dont try to live up to people's expectations towards you, just be yourself and live your life the way you want for yourself, this makes me emotional, thank you TEDx and thank you Robwang for sharing your story about how you deal with an emotional suicidal thoughts and what we should actually do instead of just giving up lives, it means a lot to us
This is one of the best, if not *the best,* Ted talks I've listened to. And I've listened to aloooot.
What a wonderful and inspiring story! Thank you so much for sharing. ☺️ I hope you are doing better now and that you have indeed found your own meaning in life. Emotions can be great you know. In fact they can be utterly fantastic. Depending on how you look at it emotions give color to a otherwise nihilistic and meaningless existince. What you just described is toxic masculinity and I'm glad people are getting more and more aware of that because the sooner we get rid of that junk the better.
Your story gives hope, and I'm glad I've clicked on this video.
I'm glad you clicked too, man. I appreciate you watching.
@@robversus You're so welcome. ☺️
Wait... are you the man in this video?
@@Leto85 it feels super weird to be able to say yes. But yes, that's me :)
@@robversus And I'm glad you did! :) You're the second person I know who stood on a Ted-Talk platform (something definitely worth to be proud of if you'll ask me) and both of you left that one deep impression that helped me too.
I've added your first uploaded video to my Watch Later list. Now I have something to look forward too. :)
Really, I hope you don't mind me saying this but from those few minutes that I saw you on stage I can tell you straight up that you have a lot to offer. More importantly tnsn me saying this is of course that you'll be the one saying this to yourself. ☺️
@@Leto85 hey I really appreciate the vote of confidence. Suddenly getting this much commentary and attention has stirred up a lot of self doubt. Hearing the impact for you and others has been really helpful. Appreciate you - and I'm happy to hear this talk hit home for you!
Men are not allowed to feel, only to suppress their emotions. Thus they never learn how to process and release emotional trauma. Thoughts are tied to and shaped by our experience, even the emotional ones.
I am in a variety of groups wherein we learn and experience the various methods of releasing emotional traumas. My constant secret inner thought about these groups is, where are all the men? . 99.9% of the participants are women.
This is awesome! You made me cry. Thank you for opening yourself like that, and explain the effects of masculinity in mental health. I can't believe the comments on this video. Society fall down has nothing to do with "lack of masculinity". It's just the opposite. This world is burning thanks to excessive masculine point of view, toxic as it is: to women, children, men itself, environment, etc.
i am pretty sure this is a case the dose making the poisen. For me getting is touch with my masculin side and learning what parts are healthy for me, where a good part of recovering after a suicide attempt. I feel like masculinity gets a bad rep since the prositiv side never gets mention, but like i said it can be a medicin but you shouldnt overdose on it and make it toxic
@@theodorek2673 Im glad you could use your masculinity to overcome what hapenned to you. But I think it's not a matter of "amount" or dose. As a therapist I can tell you that it's about redefine what we are used to call masculine, masculinity, etc. The negative side of it, such as being always strong, provider, successful, not having the possibility to share joy or sadness, crying, etc. Society says if you are a male, you can't do that, if u do, you are weak. You can only express rage. And I think those are the things we want to change, because if men can't talk about those things, you are most likely to suffer mental illness, suicide, commit crimes against others, etc.
Humans are machines with personality. Even we are different, we have the same base structure and we should accept each other , because we all have problems, we are imperfect, and that's what makes us humans. This topic can be seen from many angles, but the main idea is that we should understand better each other and develop out emphaty, so that we will be able to understand us , our thoughts and feelings.
toxic masculinity means they are soft, emotionally, real masculinity dont care those sh!t, but this is absolutely gold Rob👍🏼
To the person reading this, please do not let your current reality stop you from getting what you want. Remember we are only at the bottom because we are looking for a way to get back up. Implant positive self-image inside you and I promise you will one day get what you want.
Cheers.
When you give up, that's when it begins.
Know yourself, to live healthier.
One thing is for certain, if you choose to lie to yourself about your current situation, ignore warnings, signs about the way you lead and carry yourself thru life, you will inevitably become an enemy of yourself. That enemy will without a doubt play a part in killing you faster.
A good practice I adopted from working in a dangerous warehouse is to ask yourself from time to time, am I doing this properly and safely, am I missing something? Ground yourself in reality, this will make your decisions smarter, take the time once a month to consider your health, your environment and your path forward. Keep a visual reminder somewhere to never miss that.
This is inspiring
Awesome video ROOOOOOOB!!!
Better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a sterilized sheep.
If anything lack of masculinity is slowly killing men.
Exactly.
Beautiful ted talk this was inspiring
this is so accurate is crazy
Short Answer: No
Long answer: Yes.
Real men are becoming a thing of the past. That's what is sad.
All we have now are sus boys
If you consider yourselves "real men"... which I suppose depending on your definition... Crying is shame? Freaking A Skippy...We ALL HAVE TEAR DUCTS! EVEN ANIMALS!
*A REAL MAN* is attractive to know he is unashamed to cry. Insurrectionists kept shouting out *TESTOSTERONE* & I thought they should have a snip, drained. Rumors claim steroids were found on their persons. Sad is the lies, the using. Their guy who promised to walk with them told yet another lie. He's free. They're doing time.
God asks to come to Him in ALL things, the truth. The author of lies is happy to see this nonsense. Remember this.
Blessed are the peacemakers. 🍃🕊️🍃
It’s also a fact that one needs to carefully examine those who possess convictions charisma, intelligence, and a well-rounded sense. I am proud to masculine, and I’m definitely amongst the few who would be a “real man,” and yet also be in tune to the emotions instead of the old adage of “never cry,” “man up,” or other things mentioned to our parents and grandparents.
The rampant hijacking of both masculinity and femininity is appalling, when things are always thrown around and labeled as toxic. And it’s important to distinguish the behaviors
And social media fuels the fire. So it definitely is such a feedback loop that really endangers everyone. And which is why we would never gain a semblance of ease in the future
I thought for minute of the generation that fought in WWII.
If people are desperately unhappy - one must walk away for their well being. Life is very short - why do people hold back & live with sadness, frustration & hidden anger. You are the Master or Mistress of your life. Deep down…people know why they are unhappy & afraid to change their lives…..just do it…..seek & ye shall find !
Beautiful message. Thank you for sharing this.
Suppress our emotions will only lead to our own suffering and our loved ones. I m so thankful for this unsuppression about toxic masculinity presentation.
I was upset at the title. It was misleading. Masculinity isn’t killing men, suppressing emotions is. You can be masculine and speak to a therapist or close freind about troubles.
I agree. Masculinity isn’t the problem. It’s Toxic masculine traits such as suppressing emotions like you said.
im going through this right now
Save yourself. You are priceless.
You got this bro, stay strong👊
This is good!
Nothing wrong with being masculine i also feel its because men are not being masculine in the correct way.
They are being masculine in a toxic way or simply have depression.
Being masculine as good man is very fulfilling. Also we live in such a way now where no one faces adversity willingly and that is a bigger problem.
Brainwashed much?
@@staffan144 nothing he said was wrong. Maybe you’re the one that’s brainwashed. Have a seat.
Also, actual masculinity is also often called toxic so many men become bitches to conform and when they can't suppress their natural masculinity it comes out toxic since it was always suppressed and never nurished or guided or tought how to manage and use it for it's actual natural purpose.
@@staffan144 your obviously a weak bloke or a brainwashed college student if you think masculinity is wrong. Or a grade A troll
Being a man is about responsibility, physical/mental fortitude, and above all: Rationality.
I agree with all of this wholeheartedly. But, and uncomfortable truth is people are uncomfortable with people in pain, mental emotional or physical. I am not special. I too have gone through this experience. The majority of my life has been major depression episodes with suicidal idealization and I had to learn how to reach out to others. But, unfortunately now in my life I only have two people I can reach out to and I definitely feel like I'm going to lose one of them very soon just because I'm going to be forced to move out of California because it's too expensive to live here when you're disabled and live alone and can't find anyone or anywhere to live within your budget. And I feel like my one solid friend is getting really burnt out and I also don't know if I'm going to lose them. I have a feeling something's got to happen between us. I really hope not but I don't know, I can't make that shot. Also, with this I know it sounds like "oh, this person probably has been nothing but sad and mopey to their friends... XYZ but if that was the truth then they totally would have left a long time ago and they wouldn't have been my friends to begin with. It's always been episodic and I've always done my absolute best in trying to self soothe and deal with my problems myself but like this guy said, it gets completely impractical at a certain point but unfortunately I need to know what to do now when reaching out doesn't work. I've tried online support groups and they don't work. I'm too scared for hotlines and also they make me paranoid because I've heard stories of people being reported and taken in and that causes more distress than it ever does help in the majority of situations. I don't know, I feel like at a certain point it just circles back into having to fend for yourself. I'd kill to have anyone to be able to reach out to when I was feeling like this.
"I really gotta try...to think of a reason....to keep on keepin on." Gladys knight & the Pips.
Awesomeness Rob!! 👏👏👏 So proud of you! -Amy
remember this is how you define what it means to be a man .Your views of happiness was based upon money? i bet if you wrote this paper on masculine 20 years from now your view will be different
Feminism has been saying this for 30 years.
Still needs to be repeated.
Good Luck
I don't think things will change tbh. Men are just wired that either by masculinity/media/family/women etc. But we can try to make baby steps.
Thank you 🙌🙏💚💚💚
"When you give rise to that which is
within you, what you have will save you.
But if you do not give rise to it, what you do not have will destroy you."
"When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living father. But if you will not know yourselves, you dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty."
That is the responsibility.
🌎TEDx | we have to one another as 🌍human
beings🌏.
And this is a difficult responsibility to embrace.
For human history has
often been a record of nations and tribes -- and, yes, religions --
subjugating one another in pursuit of their own interests.
Yet in this
new age, such attitudes are self-defeating.
Given our interdependence,
any world🌍 order that elevates one nation or group of people over
another will inevitably fail.
So whatever we think of the past, we must
not be prisoners to it.
Our problems must be dealt with through
partnership; our progress must be shared.
I Thank you.
🌏
###
.
Steven Universe: Being Human
Thank you bro
Sooo true. A person I loved dearly was greatly influenced by toxic masculinity.
What's toxic masculinity?
@@rischio7678 in short it’s assigning a behavior to a persons gender that will have lasting mental health impacts that inevitably hurt others or themselves. If you listen to his speech, the examples are provided with the data. He is speaking about masculinity as being more loving and nurturing.
No as the video demonstrates without saying it toxic femininity is killing men.
I agree with you.
Yes . This video is more leftist propaganda, no surprise
Being judged for being a real man is what killing men, so I don't think masculinity is killing, lack of thereof is.
it is more so the male dominating and influenced society that is killing men. who else could have created such a horrid system
Opss..
TEDx | maybe you're right!
We must say openly
to each other the things we hold in our hearts and that too often are
said only behind closed doors.
There must be a sustained effort
to
listen to each other;
to learn from each other;
to respect one another;
and to seek common ground.
As the Holy Koran tells us, "Be conscious
of God and speak always the truth."
That is what I will try
to do today -- to speak the truth as best I can,
humbled by the task
before us,
and firm in my belief that the interests we share as human
beings are far more powerful than the forces that drive us apart.
That is
United Nations | الأمـــــمُ المتّـحــــدَة
ideas,
they are human rights.
And that is why we will support them everywhere.
Thank you.
And May God's peace 🌏 be upon you all.
Thank you.
🌎
In the United States in 2024 a male takes his life every half hour.
Rob Wang been drinking too many soy milk pumpkin spices lattes I see
that was way too specific, is that ur usual order? lol
Tiago Iorc likes it
Only problem I saw with this is that he was not addressing why men should not cry
I think I speak for alot of young people when I say that when I saw a tear out of my dad's eye, that was when I knew something was wrong and it installed me with fear, the man that is not scared of anything, the strong being that will protect me when needed showed weakness, then my mom started crying, I remember that very well, I was just shocked,
Men not crying is a problem yes, but it's also one of our bigger strengths to stand there strong when needed, to head on the bus to the Frontline with a smile to install confidence in the ones we love and to make sure they know that it will be fine
Always feels a bit of a humbrag when more or less every depression based talk is hosted by someone saying "even winners like me get sad"
I have a friend who keeps going through the thoughts. It’s sad because he’s got talent like anyone else. It’s a shame we both live in a world that wouldn’t cared if we died
@@Dimitris_Half
Yes a bit
The world cares - at least I do
Emasculation and demonising is
Bravo 👏 🙏
I believe it’s masculinity that is in fact dying.
This talk is pathetic
So good
No my friends, its weakness that is killing men. Pass through this brief patch of time in harmony with nature and when you die, fall like a ripened olive gracefully, praising the tree that bore you and the earth that grew you. What is the meaning of our lives? THAT IS NOT OUR QUESTION TO ASK! Instead we are asked that question. It is our lives that are the answer. Peace lies with understanding what masculinity is. Masculinity is virtue, self-control, justice and courage. How can this be killing men? These people that say things like that... do not listen to them!
More like lack of.
Hermoso mensaje espero llegué a muchas personas y seamos multiplicadores como recomienda el ponente 💜
What is masculinity?
It is about being a man, if you are born a man then you are masculine
Characteristics of men.
@@NN-cm2mh You become a man, we are born boys.
@@ChristheDowned That’s right
🤣🤣hilariously funny. However! Sheeple, or sheep. One in the same. Humans are all different! Anyone who believe different, HAVE been raised to be, or are plain Sheeple! And I feel sorry for them
قفا نقرأ قناة مهتمة بنشر العلم والثقافة.
في كل فيديو سنرشح لك كتابا لتقرأه.
العلم لا يستطاع براحة الجسم.
لا تتوقف عن القراءة..
شكراً لك
على بذرة من السعادة بالنسبة لنا.
آوه، نعم، نعم، نعم، / يا سيدتي الجميله! / يا سيدتي الجميله ❤️!!!! شكراً لك على الرأي والفكر والعمل بإخلاص لمصلحة الجميع 🌏🌍🌎
Men have to be strong, that will never change. It’s been the case since the beginning of our species, and it won’t change regardless of whatever society or psychology says. We’re the ones that go to war. We’re the ones that sacrifice ourselves so that our families may live. It’s our role as men, and while it’s not always fair it’s life.
It's also your role as men to get some bitches, but i dont see you having any
@@drapplesauce3354 Sick burn
@@drapplesauce3354 Wait your turn son, the adults are talking
I came across a story that native american soldiers would all go to the river to cry after they just had a war. Doing what you think needs to be done and talking about how you feel or releasing pent-up stress aren't mutually exclusive
@@AtlasAdvice254 the adults are talking about getting some bitches, wait your turn
Is it just me or does it rain inside the house, wait thats me
Comment for the algo
every guy should watch the mask you live in
yes | TEDx
and Maybe you're right!
TEDx | it's called an sharing FULL!
Ladies and gentlemen..
Let's to connecting MINDS.
Creating the future 🌏🌍🌎
in
🌍Sustainability
🌎Mobility
and 🌏 Opportunity✍️.
Ladies and gentlemen!
Thank you very much for yours opinions✍️ today 🌎!
Oh TEDx | thanks for your story everyday 🌎🌍🌏!
Ladies and gentlemen..
GOOD HEALTH ALWAYS!
I Thank you.
###
🌏
...The hypermasc are triggered.
yes it kills us. For the greater good. Men have always been pillars of stone, and we don't have the right to fail, because it could destroy what us pillars, are supporting. I am feeling numb, I understand what yall are going trough. But we have pride, we are MEN, BY GOD. We need to stop caring about our little lives, we need to be the pillars people deserves.