Hey please pray for me tonight. I prayed over and over again and begged God for a miracle. She is messaging me and is worried about the virus and I suggested that I stayed there. she hasn' responded to that question so I hope she thinks it over. Please pray she does and pray I can be with my family please
Clay Andrews My ex visited my work place after almost a year she could have avoided coming there I was busy so we didn't see eachother should I reach out?
What if your ex breaks up with you over fear of traveling because of corona and claims corona is the reason why they can't continue and still shows affection towards you?
1. Still in contact, and you aren't blocked. 2. You are willing to change how you interact with them. 3. You are willing to initiate things. 4. You are able to push through hard things. 5. Shift from relationship-focus to connection-focused.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Life is short , I want my ex back and idc what happened during our break , if I could get her back and we are willing to make it work in a healthy safe way , I’m going back. Go for what you want
100% this! Especially the life is short part. Don't let ego or stubbornness stand in the way. They always say that at the end of people's life what they regret the most is what they didn't do, not what they did do, so it's definitely worth a shot either way
Clay's my favorite male relationship coach. His introverted intuitive personality matches my own and his approach has worked better for me than the other relationship coaches, who are all extroverts and who contradict each other. Dan Bacon says no contact rarely works. Corey Wayne says just walk away and let her come to you. But Clay is middle of the road where he'll say "give her space" but initiate when appropriate.
I don’t want to my ex back. I just watch these videos because of how I should respond with the emotions I’m dealing with during arguments & dealing with any negativity in general. I love the work on yourself before anything. I took that to heart years ago when I first started watching you and joining your program. I’m still learning how to balance my masculine & feminine energy. Would love some book recommendations about that. Thank you.
The feelings of connection makes sense to me. That’s why he is so adamant about being friends and he said let’s be friends like how we were in the beginning
They could give you a million signs but if they don't come and show you true actions of wanting to get back together, it means nothing. Don't settle for crumbs
Signs are just signs. Actions will still matter. A breakup had to happen because of the issues in the relationship. And if no one will approach getting back together proactively, you are leaving everything to fate.
If they left you do not Initiate contact they will contact you when they’re ready. Give them their space and respect that. Could be two weeks could be a month could be six months could be a year
I understand how hurtful the situation your are in. Yes, initiating because I believe in taking proactive steps (ONLY IF... you still want to get this relationship back and you think that your ex is still deserving) in getting your relationship back.
I have been meeting up with her every week for a little while and it's so nice but she always reminds me that we are just friends. I'm scared to try and bring up getting back together incase I push her away but we need to talk about it at some point 🤷♂️
My ex was feeding me bread crumbs by just checking in on me and she told me she misses me and she can’t cut me out of her life and that the new guy she’s talking to isn’t the same as me but I told her to not contact me unless she wanted to be in a relationship now I’m fully in no contact...
@@Krixpps my last comment was 4 months old and I got to know new stuff. Probably would have done the same now. Congrats for getting the result you wanted
The hard thing I’m going through is he and his ex who broke up with him are still in contact and he says he “sporadically,” talks to her. And another hard thing is he will open up call everyday and then nothing.
Some awesome advice, thanks Clay! He messages frequently, and wants to work on unresolved feelings between us. Sounds great, right? Nope. Still says he doesn’t want to be too close, and that we can never get back together because I am “not his person”. The reason why he wants to talk feelings out, is to teach me to become a better person and have better relationships in the future. Is this doomed? Is he just putting up a front? I really can’t tell by this point...
@@ClayAndrews Hi Clay. He means I'm not the right person for him (cos he wants different things, etc, which I feel isn't the case but he has emotionally shut off to the possibility). It's pretty much doomed, huh?
Too many mistakes were made on my behalf.. I begged, pleaded, said hurtful stuff... The relationship itself was good but the slipt was terrible.. 2 weeks ago we were having great conversations, being flirty the whole 9.. Then I asked if we could work things out like a moron and she told me to move on... So I give up and I'm moving on.. Gonna miss her and love her but it's impossible
I know it hurts, Tim. Your ex is not open to the idea of getting back together because she fears that things are just going to be the same. You have asked her too early.
@@MrTmc187 bro we are in the same boat. I said hurtful things to her and she ignored me. But texted me on my 30th birthday (hope your thirties are filled with love happiness and healing) I dont get the mixed signals. Mind you I'm on a full on block
she gave you the answer to the question you asked... not what you wanted to hear, but at least you know where she stands... I'm not going to beg for another chance even if I did happen to be the one that screwed up...
God I'm hitting the dip I guess. I thought my ex and I were at a crisis point but I guess we're still riding the dragon... Last time we talked on Friday he mentioned really warm behavior almost as if he wanted to try and work stuff out with me and forget his rebound. But today we talked, had an okay conversation until he said if he breaks up with his rebound he wants to "Enjoy single life" and then wanted to get off the phone :/ eventually he told me call him back and we talked a little more but it left me going "wtf" since I'm hoping it was just an attempt to push me away, and me saying "I'm still here for you" in a text after they got off the phone pulled them back into positive feelings towards me. Edit: So after the text he told me call him back, we had a surface level conversation for the most part I guess, and then he randomly had to get back off the phone. He then messaged me a while after saying "I enjoy talking with you and going down memory lane, I look forward to talking again soon" so guess we're still on the dang dragon after all.
@@ClayAndrews Thank you so much for that... I was spending tonight going over the channel trying to find something that might fit that. Since last week we basically talked almost every day and he was expressing being unhappy it seemed with the rebound. They're not broken up yet but I'm hoping for some movement because of the decoy effect and positively interacting. Even if he does become single, that'd be good enough for me so we can hopefully get closer (like seeing each other in person... his rebound won't let him see me at all.) I told him his feelings are valid, and I'll still be here. I apologized for if I came off as not caring about his feelings and he said not to worry about it and we just carried on a conversation, nothing too deep this time since it seemed that wasn't where he wanted to be talking wise today. I'll keep you updated 😭 I feel like progress has been made with your help. Your videos always seem to pop up at the times I need them most topic wise.
Hey clay, it would mean a lot if you respond. So my ex and i broke up about 17 days ago and I've been in no contact for 10 days. He sent me a birthday gift and i just replied thank you. He broke up with me because he said he doesn't want a relationship right now and that i am obsessed with him and he doesn't feel free. However, i pleaded after the breakup a few times but he was adamant. He's being hot and cold during that time. Now I've been in no contact for 10 days but i dont know how to approach this situation should i actually give him time or should i try to talk?
Hi Clay. Married with kids for 23 years as mentioned in other posts. Was in nc which was going well. The issue is now my eldest daughter (24) was been a dick and the ex wife had to collect her from her flat. To deflect from the telling off she told the ex I was putting pressure on her to fix our relationship. This wasn't true but the ex has took her side and told me not to message the kids about her.....can I get back from this I dont think she believes me
Lets see... We are still in contact? Check. Im not blocked and she does reply to me when I text, just nothing major. Am I willing to make changes? Check. Im ready to adapt and change. Initiate things? Check. She broke up with me but over life not issues. Ill take the first steps if need be. Push through things? Check. Im willing to wait for her and try my best, even if its hard and I get no help. Shift Focus? Check. I care about her and her well being. Yeah a relationship would be nice but I want to be with her. For me at least feels like a check on each point. Do I still have a chance? who knows... She has who I think is a rebound, our talks are super short (if not a single reply each time), etc. But for me its worth waiting and trying. I care about her so genuinely. Yeah going to these videos and articles wont always help given no two situations are the same but Its stuff like this that at least motivates me to keep trying until either too much has changed or im outright told to give up cuz at that point its forcing it. It has to be her decision. So yeah. Great video, hope it pans out for me really, but its still good motivation to keep moving forward.
Ex has me blocked on FB. I have pretty much given up. I still chat with his son from time to time, but nothing related to relationship with his dad. Not going to use him to relay messages. If he chooses to tell his dad about what we talk about, it's up to him. I didn't do anything wrong but he twisted something completely out of context and publicly (on FB) set out to hurt me with a lie.
What if he blocked me on everything except Snapchat because he doesn’t want someone in my family to know, probably his family too)we still talk.? It makes me feel really bad it hurts my feelings and I don’t even know if he will ever unblock me😭
@Ms march, will you be in acceptance with your ex's wishes? At times, we have to understand that they may not be that ready yet for people to know that you are talking as they are having a hard time explaining things.
Hi Clay, thank you for your content! I dated my ex for a year and we started LDR since 2020 Things were a lot harder and we were constantly on and off. Last week, we had a fight because my trip to visit her got cancelled due to pandemic And she broke up with ne because she said our relationship is not making her happy, she had been seeing this meeting up the last shot but now i missed my shot. saying thst she still likes me, we can be friends but seriously we are broken up. One day after she started texting me some random things even pics of our dog. I thought we are good because that's how we reconcile after fights -- one person initiate a light conversation. So i responded as if we were still together. But she would act cold and offended when i talk about our relationship and remind me that We're broken up and she is serious. I feel very uncomfortable and confused talking to her right now. I don't know if she's scared because we have been fighting A LOT for a period of time. She will come back to my city in two weeks , but now she's acting very cold and distance. please advice. thank you
@LL Zhang, it seems like you and your ex are not emotionally aligned yet when it comes to talking about the relationship. Before getting into that topic, we have to be sure that they are okay emotionally to have that talk. Because if not, it will put their wall of reactance up.
@@ClayAndrews thank you for your response and advice. She is acting funny right now. She still text me some random stuffs and even send me selfies. I kept the tempo slow but she even asks me why I don't reply her. And when I finally talked she said "it's fine we broke up" and disappeared 😵😵😵
@@llzhang8437 She is showing signs of hot and cold treatment. It's important that you meet her where she is at emotionally. Have you considered looking into one of our courses? We can definitely help you out on your journey.
@@ClayAndrews I have been and I have been getting a lot of information from someone I hired to help me out with this shit and I know that I am 💯 percent positive about everything I have been saying but I am waiting for the right time to do what I have to do
My ex has blocked me everywhere.. Till today I dont know why, I really did not do anything bad to her ... all what I did that I begged and pleaded when she was breaking up with me... thats all...
Hi Zack, I think you have just answered the reason why your ex had blocked you. It's because she also wanted to have that personal time for herself without having the pressure of getting back into the relationship.
Dont take it too personal. I remember wanting to block my ex when he didn’t do anything wrong I was just sooo emotional and wanted to remove the source
@@bananas9695 I did not take it personally, but it is very painful to see her gone and cut all connections in 1 week after 6 years relationship. That is insane. I am very worried about her and have zero information, her friends acting like a wall, they blocked me as well and if I ask any of them how is she, they say DONT ASK ABOUT HER! I have not idea where all of this hate come form, I did not do anything bad, I wish I know what I did to get all of this.
@@ClayAndrews She said that I did not respect her decision of breaking up with me. I did all of that out of my care and love. I dunno if she will revisit her decision again, it has been 3 months ....
@Clad Andrew's well i have blocked my ex on Facebook cuz it was cuz i need it for me to move on, but i feel if she really love me she would swallow her pride & be there
My situation was extremely confusing. She had me blocked on her Facebook and major social media platforms but not on Facebook Messenger on her old account and sms. We were talking daily but she was keeping major parts of her life hidden from me but she still wanted to know what was going on in my life. She talked to me constantly but she never wanted to spend time together in person. She would show pictures of stuff that I bought for her to post on social media or she would take a picture in a clothing item that I bought for her. She was very hot and cold and I eventually became frustrated and I had to stop talking to her because it was hurting me badly. I will never know now if she ever really cared or she was just stringing me along.
How can I start to build good conversations and a good overall appearance towards my ex? What exactly should I talk to her about and how do I start up a conversation that she won’t just ignore?
I cut my finger at work the other day and my ex texted me saying “I heard you cut your finger I’m sorry I hope it heals soon” is this a good sign? Plz respond
Clay, she initiates every once in a while. It’s nice because I know it’s real because it’s coming from her not me. She deleted her rebound on Instagram but then like 5 days later readded him but still messaged me but sometimes she messages me and then leaves me on read. I hate that because it feels like if she wanted me back she wouldn’t be ok with just leaving me on read and not continuing the conversation. I want to invite her over to my apartment but I don’t know if she will like that because she hasn’t said she missed me or asked to see me. I don’t know if I should make that move or keep holding out. I hate how fragile this all feels that one little slip and I’ll scare her away.
@PunkRocker-182 , I understand where you are coming from. Take things one step at a time. Inviting her over the apartment may be too personal for now. But given the situation around the globe, you can settle for more video interaction probably.
Clay Andrews thank you clay. I’m bothered by a comment she made last night while texting me. She told me her friend got her hair cut by my friend and my friend didn’t know we had broken up. It bothers me that she told me that. It’s like confirming that we aren’t together. Do you think that’s bad that she decided to tell me that someone thought we were still together when we aren’t?
I desperately want to reconnect with my ex. No matter what I do and how much time it's been I keep coming back to missing him and us. I feel like it's a list cause tho. He broke up with me after 4 years. I guess he felt like the connection was gone and the relationship was hollow. Idk.
Well I’m not blocked. Willing to change interactions with them. Willing to push through tough times. But I’m keeping no contact. Every woman I know has told Me not to contact her. Let her contact me.
HOW ARE WE GONNA GET BACK TOGETHER IF HE JUMPED INTO ANOTHER GIRL WHEN THINGS GOT TOUGH BETWEEN US? Even sent me the photo of them just to push me away and for me to stop trying to fix our relationship?????
Its only been a month and really, he already having sex with some other girl? But before that he asked me for a month no contacting but i was in damage control mode, i was so angryy i kept messaging him and bam he sent me the photo!
Clay Andrews but i already started to date someone else too, no physical contact involved tho. I just started my first date last night and i enjoyed it. Idk if what im doing right now is right tho. But im already so hurt that i just probably want to move on that to wait for him to contact me.
= this is some diff real-ass advice than almost all other bullshit videos that play into creating pure mind games. it's actually constructive and taking the initiative and accountability into myself instead of setting unrealistic expectations for others
@@ClayAndrews thanks clay i appreciate it do you think you can do a video on what to do if you had to work with your ex who became your boss happend to me and was one of the hardest things i ever had to do in my life lol but i got threw it
hey man so I made like every mistake in the book I told her that i understood the reasons we split up and I'd bide my time until she was ready (following those pesky instincts) i thought this would give her a sense of freedom that she could do whatever she needed and id be here. however its only push me to about 80/100 on the reactance scale. she text me occasionally always short 2 words and a period. id love to see a video about what to do once you"ve made these mistakes.
My ex broke up with me 10 or 11 days ago I didn’t contact him within that time. But then I read a lot of advice online to get an ex back so I asked my boyfriend if he is still doing ok and then I brought up the new Garfield movie coming out on May 24th of this year to make sure he knew when it is coming to theaters. I remember how he said he liked Garfield. The second day I wrote him and said I’m hoping we can still be friends or something like that. And he didn’t respond as far as I know. How long should I go with out contact from now on? Should I wait until he answers? What should I say when he does? He said he had blocked me but I don’t see evidence that I am it looks like I’m not. At least not blocked on everything.
Do these steps count for separation from short term marriage too? One week after our wedding he called quits, not prepared to work on anything at all… there was/is no 3rd party, no massive fight, nothing severe, he just “wants to be alone” and isnt “in love” with me anymore.. Ive been trying the “smart contact”, better myself, stay friendly, give him intimacy when he wants it (he is away from home atleast 4 times a week now, staying with a friend), he still hasn’t signed the divorce papers (saw lawyer 3 weeks ago), but still says he wants a divorce, he made a mistake.. what on earth can I do?
It's been almost a year. It's difficult for me to do total no contact as we have small kids. Bt our conversation is limited to that. He refuses to give me back my stuff. He had ghosted me bt now we talk. I Dnt think I will get him bcos ours was a long distance relo. Bt my kids tell me she looks a lot like. It's like he is with me. So confusing...
Weird situation... we have been together and lived together for almost 4 years. We never really talked about each other as a couple but we were basically building a life together, talking about the future. He breaks it of, seemingly, out of no where. Says he has been unhappy for awhile. When I finally sat down and talked it out with him, I got to the route of one of the issues but he then told me, that he never saw himself marrying me. I currently working on one of the issues. but we are still living together and want to give it another try. Is there a way I can change his mind about me?
@Gaby, I think your situation can be a little bit complicated as you have not defined your relationship. As you know, we cannot change other people's mind but we may have a ability to inspire them.
@Clay Andrews is there a chance we could get back together? If he stayed that long and I’ve met his whole family, there must have been some part of him that thought we were right for each other, but he was just waiting on me to change certain things in my life? What else can I do, besides bettering myself, to inspire him? What should I be doing to show him that I deserve a long term commitment?
@@gabycastro2168don't force him to get back together as it might backfire. Instead, work on getting the emotional connection back. You do this by cultivating relational skills. You can check the videos I made about these relational skills. >> ruclips.net/video/4tFxxSsmM_k/видео.html
My ex cheated on me and I think it was because this was the first serious relationship and monogamous(for both parties) relationship she’s had. So I think she freaked out about how close we were so fast but it happened a few times. She started getting very short with me and less affectionate. Little things set her off. I asked her if she even want this anymore and she said she just wasn’t in it anymore and we took a break but she started seeing the person she cheated on me with and basically became who I was with her. She’s the more attached “needy” one in that relationship and has been with them longer than she was with me almost at this point. But she still calls me on her breaks and lunches from work and asks me to help her with a lot of things still that a gf should be doing... it’s very confusing. Her new gf ignores her a lot so she gets the sex and physical stuff from her gf and she gets the friendship connection from me. It’s weird. Idk. I just feel like an idiot but I feel like there’s still a connection there.
Though you two have broken up, there "care" will still be there. It seems that she's been getting the best of both worlds and it may be adding to her confusion. Give you and your ex some space first so that you both can heal and process what you both really feel.
What if I’m the one who initiated no contact. She was messaging me for a month and thought that we could be friends. I didn’t feel the same and I asked her for space. It’s been 4 weeks no contact now.
I want her back but i think i found someone better Bc my ex is really toxic but it wasn’t as bad as you may think she just has a lot of personal troubles at home with family and school and all that stuff ya know
Very communicative Gets upset if I don’t answer the phone Very curious about what I’m doing She’s in a “relationship” with someone tho…. So I’m in no contact I let her come to me it’s been almost two months and things are getting progressively better But I have gotten to the point where I will be ok if she comes back or not I’m doing the work FOR ME!!!
My ex blocked me on Facebook but texts me regularly and I also asked her out for a walk and and lunch and she accepted. She asked for distance but we worked together I gave it to her she then texted me the next day saying she couldn’t handle not talk to me. I want her back but it’s important we talk about the issues at some stage .
Hey Clay, my ex told her mom that she thinks about getting back with me a lot. Idk if she’s still seeing her rebound. We still talk. I’ve been working on me and making the changes to myself, I’m definitely willing to initiate. Her mom told me to check in on her from time to time and maybe ask her to breakfast or dinner down the road. My whole life I pushed thru hard times, so that’s no problem. I’m focusing on connecting with her now rather than just “getting the relationship back” like I was in the very beginning when I was in panic fix it mode. What do you think? Obviously she has no idea her mom and I talk.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
So I've been through active NC for a month and a couple of days ago my ex reached out to my mom but I'm still blocked. Was it to get closure out of guilt because she had a great relation with my mother? She (my ex) mentioned that she hopes that a time comes when she can communicate with me and that we need to "walk different paths" and rediscover ourselves.
i was on 12th day of NC, he sent me 300 msgs. But he is with some other girl right now. When i reploed him, he said just wanted to see if i was doing fine and wants to be my friend but loves the new girl (they r in relation for 2 months). What to do now? Shall i go on NC again??
@@sukhmani5913 then stay with him and keep being his blow up doll because the first one is the best one you have lost and will find a better woman to spend the rest of his life with
Hi its been a Month since i broke up with my Girlfriend she said we need to Brake up cuz she is not felling comfortable in our relationship and i dont understand why and i still like her and i really want her back pls give me some advice Thank you!
My dear if you are facing any Challenges in your Relationship worry no more, I will Introduce you to the same Relationship Restorer who helped me got back my ex, he can bring your ex back within 48
I talked to my ex last night about what she did wrong during relationship that hurt me snd she started to cry because I was also raising my voice and she said can you not raise your voice?. Then I felt bad and held her and kissed her and she reciprocated but stopped snd it was late and I took her home. What do you think happened and what will happen? We haven't slept together for 3 months. This is the first time being able to hold her and kiss her again.
Clay, my boyfriend (for almost 9 months) broke up due to a lot of fighting, said he doest want such relationship but still loves me. One month passed, he came back said he wants us together again, he is ready to restore what he broke. We started going out, kissing, and discussing what went wrong, he admitted lying for things, overall 2...3 heavy conversations. He acted a bit different on his social media, more active with posts and befriending girls, deleting our one photoe, which i adressed as a problem for me. And then at the next day, he pulled away saying he is confused, not knowing if he is ready for a serious relationship. He is really sexually attracted to me..but not sure for the commitment part (he is a lot younger than me, he is 20). He said he will think one more week...and silence again. I messed up by talking so serious stuff so early and scared him away. What should I do now?? He is one step away from giving up on me again and leaving me for good.
His age has nothing to do with it my 21 year old has been with the same girl for 4 years a very healthy mature thriving relationship, don't let him treat you as an option he doesn't value you, if he truly did he wouldn't put himself in a position to loose you....you make the decision for him he sounds very immature and looking to see what other options is out there....know your worth girl and don't settle for less than you deserve....ex's can also be blessings it's not rejection it's a lesson to what you don't want xo
It's not that he is making you an option. What your ex is telling you is that he is attracted to you, but because of the fights you had, those caused a lower emotional connection. If having sex without commitment goes against your values, be firm and set healthy boundaries.
I’ve been in the Ex back system for 2 months. I’ve made damaging mistakes, but overall me and my Ex have been on decent terms all the way through it. If anything, I’m angry at her for moving on so fast. What I’ve learned from this experience, is that trying to get my ex back is far more damaging to me than it is to her. So I gave up, I stopped talking to her. She’s in a relationship now and I no longer matter like I used to. I’m fine with that. It’s okay. Until suddenly, only a few days after I stopped trying, she started initiating. She’s messaging me, regardless of how it would make her new boyfriend feel. She’s tried to initiate conversation, but when I respond she makes no effort to keep it going. I don’t understand her motive.
Fuzzywuzz71 without writing too much she could’ve realised she made a mistake and wants to see if your still interested in her or she could rebound off you coz things aren’t going well in her current relationship in my opinion both situations arnt good it could be she’s trying to transition into getting back with you after her man she’s with now so she’s not alone or single stay safe king and protect your heart till you know what’s up 100%
2k oakes295 She’s a confused girl, doesn’t know what she wants. Her family aren’t great people and she lives with a lot, I was the least of her worries when we broke up. She’s incapable of being alone otherwise she’ll have to face these issues alone, so she got with this guy pretty fast. Apparently it’s going well, but who knows what’s really going on behind closed doors. I don’t think she’s entirely opened up to her new guy yet. Could be causing some trust issues. I’ll find out what the future holds eventually. For now, I’ll remain king! 👑
Only not if ur the one who broke up with them then come back in 5yrs acted like he was so excited to hear from u but doesnt tell u hes dating someone else and I really thought that could b possible but he should have told me that instead wanting me to come over told her she kept calling. He thought that was funny and said shes trying to keep us from being intimate and then I said I'm leaving he acted surprised and said really. Really I broke up with him for cheating he shouldnt have been surprised I was leaving. If he was trying to make me jealous did that the wrong way for sure instead communicated to me he hasnt changed by
I love her...bt she did brkup with me after having 6 years ... oneday she suddenly told me that we r different ..so in future there will be problem between us so we should brkup. Bt we r still in contact bt there is a problem she never did initiate the conservation bt when I do she just replies and sometimes calls me bt conversation is like all casual like friend type. So is there any possibility to get her back? Help me coach
I Have Given Up. He Told Me To Stop Texting Him, So I'm Not Going To Bother Him Anymore, He's In A Rebound Relationship And He Doesn't Want To Talk To Me At All! It Hurts I Just Can't Keep Trying and Don't Get A Response!!
@@stevenwylie6175 I'm sorry To Hear That Like I Said im done im tired of trying To reach out to him and I don't get a Response Back We were In a relationship for 5years, I'm just tired!
If your ex is resistant and you keep pushing, the more he'll put his wall up. Have you tried Active No Contact first? Here's one of my videos to know if you should give up getting this relationship back >> ruclips.net/video/e2FlPCssw5E/видео.html
@@ClayAndrews Yes Clay I have Done Active No Contact and I Got 1 Response From Him After It Was Done, And Now He's Not Responding Again, I'm Going To Do No Contact At All Now, Thank You for The Advice And I Will Watch The Video.
Sexual needs sometimes do not equate to a romantic relationship. People can have sex without commitment. So if we are using sex to get our ex back, maybe it is time to revisit our intent.
What do I do if we just officially stopped seeing each other and we are supposed to go on vacation in 3 weeks... just cancel our vacation or reach out in a couple weeks and see if she'll go?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
I’m confused when you say willing to initial things. She made the decision for things to be “on hold”, basically taking a break. I don’t feel like I need to initiate. Been in no contact for a week now.
My dear friend if you are facing any challenges in your Relationship worry no more, I'll introduce you to the same relationship restorer who helped me got my ex back, he can help you within 48 hours
I never did NC with her, she ended it w me end of 2019, and started talking to an old friend start of 2020. 2 months later theyre in an LDR. She stayed resistant to me but this weekend she was complaining about him and called me for 20mins, facetimed for 7mins and we had nice fun convos.. are these signs shes still into me? She also sent me snapchat i sent her long ago of me saying something cute to her that she was like "Aw :)" to ... and she is always anxious as he has an illness and is vulnerable to covid-19 so she stays anxious all the time and even contemplated ending it with him at start of the month.. but said she's "trusting in god and the universe"... she comes back in August this year. What do I do?
Well you did mention she was in a long distance relationship with an old friend and how she was complaining about him. However she did send you a screenshot of what reminded her of you. So what I can say speaking from experience is to just keep it all positive with your words and throw in a few jokes here and there, you need to just remind her of how well you two can get along and have a good time. If you can get her to maybe have dinner with you or just catch up over some coffee or tea you'll be fine. Better yet John if you can invite her over to your place if you live by yourself , make it a dinner night. If not just keep it simple with tea.
Andrew Cruz Thanks for the reply. She left my country in October and told me she loved me before she left (we broke up official last April, fell back in love but not committed). Then it continued until end of 2019 and it got toxic for her bc she couldn’t get over our past, and realised she liked this guy too so she ended it and started with him. Kinda bad situation it blindsided me for sure. So we are also “long distance” right now
She finds you as someone she can still open up with. That is a good thing. What can you do? Strengthen your emotional connection with her in every opportunity you get to talk to her.
@@ClayAndrews You think so? What about her current boyfriend? She wanted to call me yesterday too but wasn't able to as she was around family all day.. We were also reminiscing about "this day a year ago" as we went out with my friends on paddy's day in 2019, and she was saying how it was such fun times, I also said I couldnt find the picture of us we took together on that day and she told me to send it when I found it.. but today it seems like she has pulled back quite a bit. We talked all night last night. I dont think I should be texting her too much though as it could get draining. Is that a good idea? She seems to not be so resistant to me anymore, like you talk about in one of the stages in your courses
Hi Alice, it's definitely okay to do Active No Contact. But remember that ANC is not just about disappearing from the other person, but it is also about knowing your personal goals why you are doing ANC. What are you trying to achieve as a person after doing ANC (aside from the possibility of getting him back)?
@@ClayAndrews I want to ask since I and my ex decided we want to reconcile I stressed him got him angry and a lot last minute he told me we should go our separate ways will the no contact be ok in this situation? And my question is during the no contact what if he finds comfort and peace as compared to how I pushed him
@Tom, if you feel that you have reached the Effortless Connection (we talked about that inside our Ex Solution Program course), that is the stage we recommend where you can initiate any form of contact with your ex.
@@ClayAndrews Ok, however. She was a text dumper, insisted, demanded I go get my stuff that weekend and return her key. I have not gone to get my stuff or return her key, now she seems like she is ghosting me. Real mature for a 56 yr old. She either doesnt care, figures eventually I will get my stuff, or one day I will open my door and there it is. I doubt the last scenario will happen, never know though.
@@toms81162 Give her some time. If you decide to get your stuff back, maybe you can start with a light chat. Just make sure that you match her emotional level. Adjusting to your ex's emotional level is thoroughly discussed in our program. I can send you more information should you want it.
I certainly wouldn't wait for them to figure it out.. . I'd move on .. if I'm available when they figure out what they want, we can see how I feel at that time...
Hi Clay! I am blocked on everything so I don't know how I'll be able to initiate any conversation. I definitely want to prioritize his feelings and concerns but what if his feelings are against us getting together because of how I never prioritized his feelings and cared? I want to create an emotional connection but if I try I'm afraid he will be very annoyed because I never could do that in the relationship. Also, I am blocked since he does not want anything to do with me and does not think we can be friends so how do I start trying to create a connection?
@@brianrohm1787 you know what man...that's one side effect no one talks about when it comes to getting an ex back. Especially if you're the one who initiates the reunion, there's a danger of becoming her backup plan while she entertains other guys.
Mine has done the same thing for 5 months on a weekly basis.. Blocked for a week, unblocked for a week, repeat...until mid July. Her rebound joined the Air Force , and when he was gone at basic training I stayed unblocked. 2 weeks ago we saw each other for the first time in 5 months, driving past each other in opposite directions, twice in one day. She has be looking at my Facebook Stories ever since. Until 4 days ago... Flyboy Commander Rebound came back... That's alright though, he'll be deployed soon.
Joshua Rice she must of not moved on from you . They don’t know what they want but they making them self look bad by just doing all that to provoke you or something smh
@@evillution1209 Well man. My exfiance texted me last weekend for the first time in 7 months. Nothing special, but she seemed really depressed. I think her rebound may be crumbling
i like this talk about exes. i have alot. but my first one, he posts pics license pic from when we were dating and then a pic of his wife back then LOLOL bitch. he also talked to his friend about our trip to amusement park andhow a ride made him sick coincidentally it was an article about shut down rides that i just happened to see his remark.!!!
Need advice, Its been 3 months since i break up with my ex cause i found out that she is seeing someone else (her classmate ) but still she heart react on my posts and my pictures (even tho i unfriended her on fb) last month she post a picture of us with pictures of my bandmate greeting him a happy birthday ( which is our mutual friend) , then yesterday she talks about me with them and bringing up things when we are still together, why is she doing this?
Thanks for watching this video. Be sure to check out this series for more signs your ex wants you back: ruclips.net/video/4tpTirUU-QU/видео.html
Hey please pray for me tonight. I prayed over and over again and begged God for a miracle. She is messaging me and is worried about the virus and I suggested that I stayed there. she hasn' responded to that question so I hope she thinks it over. Please pray she does and pray I can be with my family please
Clay Andrews My ex visited my work place after almost a year she could have avoided coming there I was busy so we didn't see eachother should I reach out?
What if your ex breaks up with you over fear of traveling because of corona and claims corona is the reason why they can't continue and still shows affection towards you?
1. Still in contact, and you aren't blocked. 2. You are willing to change how you interact with them. 3. You are willing to initiate things. 4. You are able to push through hard things. 5. Shift from relationship-focus to connection-focused.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
His name is fatherabulu , and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
He is fatherabulu, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked he up now online. impressive
Life is short , I want my ex back and idc what happened during our break , if I could get her back and we are willing to make it work in a healthy safe way , I’m going back. Go for what you want
100% this! Especially the life is short part. Don't let ego or stubbornness stand in the way. They always say that at the end of people's life what they regret the most is what they didn't do, not what they did do, so it's definitely worth a shot either way
“Go for the connection. Let the relationship follow” is the reminder that keeps my head high right now. Thank you for all of your guidance, Clay.
He is the one that help me bring my ex back
Congratulations!
How long were you guys separated before getting back together?
Ube
Congrats
Do tell..
Clay's my favorite male relationship coach. His introverted intuitive personality matches my own and his approach has worked better for me than the other relationship coaches, who are all extroverts and who contradict each other. Dan Bacon says no contact rarely works. Corey Wayne says just walk away and let her come to you. But Clay is middle of the road where he'll say "give her space" but initiate when appropriate.
I find Corey to be far too oppositional. Almost resentful at times in his opinions on interactions between men and women.
I don’t want to my ex back. I just watch these videos because of how I should respond with the emotions I’m dealing with during arguments & dealing with any negativity in general. I love the work on yourself
before anything. I took that to heart years ago when I first started watching you and joining your program. I’m still learning how to balance my masculine & feminine energy. Would love some book recommendations about that. Thank you.
The feelings of connection makes sense to me. That’s why he is so adamant about being friends and he said let’s be friends like how we were in the beginning
Other youtubers said "never ever give a woman what they want"
Is what other RUclipsrs said something that resonates with you and your personal values? :-)
Great stuff, Clay. Especially point #4
Thanks @Clayton. :-)
Don't know what to do now do you ? You dug your own grave
They could give you a million signs but if they don't come and show you true actions of wanting to get back together, it means nothing. Don't settle for crumbs
Signs are just signs. Actions will still matter. A breakup had to happen because of the issues in the relationship. And if no one will approach getting back together proactively, you are leaving everything to fate.
If they left you do not Initiate contact they will contact you when they’re ready. Give them their space and respect that. Could be two weeks could be a month could be six months could be a year
Could be never. :(
Wow this video was 7 months ago that’s how long my relationship lasted 😂
🤣😭
3:15 INITIATING!?? SHE broke up w ME and already had someone else lined up
I understand how hurtful the situation your are in. Yes, initiating because I believe in taking proactive steps (ONLY IF... you still want to get this relationship back and you think that your ex is still deserving) in getting your relationship back.
Any update on what happened?
I have been meeting up with her every week for a little while and it's so nice but she always reminds me that we are just friends. I'm scared to try and bring up getting back together incase I push her away but we need to talk about it at some point 🤷♂️
My ex was feeding me bread crumbs by just checking in on me and she told me she misses me and she can’t cut me out of her life and that the new guy she’s talking to isn’t the same as me but I told her to not contact me unless she wanted to be in a relationship now I’m fully in no contact...
@@MonotoniTV I’ll let you know I did get her back 😂 I followed coach lee’s advice and it got me what I wanted
@@Krixpps my last comment was 4 months old and I got to know new stuff.
Probably would have done the same now.
Congrats for getting the result you wanted
@@Krixpps Hey. I'm a big fan of Coach Lee as well. Which advice or video made your ex bring back? Thanks
The hard thing I’m going through is he and his ex who broke up with him are still in contact and he says he “sporadically,” talks to her. And another hard thing is he will open up call everyday and then nothing.
Some awesome advice, thanks Clay! He messages frequently, and wants to work on unresolved feelings between us. Sounds great, right? Nope. Still says he doesn’t want to be too close, and that we can never get back together because I am “not his person”. The reason why he wants to talk feelings out, is to teach me to become a better person and have better relationships in the future. Is this doomed? Is he just putting up a front? I really can’t tell by this point...
What does he mean by you not being "his person"?
@@ClayAndrews Hi Clay. He means I'm not the right person for him (cos he wants different things, etc, which I feel isn't the case but he has emotionally shut off to the possibility). It's pretty much doomed, huh?
Too many mistakes were made on my behalf.. I begged, pleaded, said hurtful stuff... The relationship itself was good but the slipt was terrible.. 2 weeks ago we were having great conversations, being flirty the whole 9.. Then I asked if we could work things out like a moron and she told me to move on... So I give up and I'm moving on.. Gonna miss her and love her but it's impossible
I know it hurts, Tim. Your ex is not open to the idea of getting back together because she fears that things are just going to be the same. You have asked her too early.
@@ClayAndrews I'm at a loss.. Do I try again or just let go and move on.. Decisions Decisions..
@@MrTmc187 bro we are in the same boat. I said hurtful things to her and she ignored me. But texted me on my 30th birthday (hope your thirties are filled with love happiness and healing) I dont get the mixed signals. Mind you I'm on a full on block
she gave you the answer to the question you asked... not what you wanted to hear, but at least you know where she stands...
I'm not going to beg for another chance even if I did happen to be the one that screwed up...
I think you are one of the beat coaches, you spread truth, real and important things about recconecting with someone
Thanks for the compliment. Truly appreciated. :-)
God I'm hitting the dip I guess. I thought my ex and I were at a crisis point but I guess we're still riding the dragon... Last time we talked on Friday he mentioned really warm behavior almost as if he wanted to try and work stuff out with me and forget his rebound. But today we talked, had an okay conversation until he said if he breaks up with his rebound he wants to "Enjoy single life" and then wanted to get off the phone :/ eventually he told me call him back and we talked a little more but it left me going "wtf" since I'm hoping it was just an attempt to push me away, and me saying "I'm still here for you" in a text after they got off the phone pulled them back into positive feelings towards me.
Edit: So after the text he told me call him back, we had a surface level conversation for the most part I guess, and then he randomly had to get back off the phone. He then messaged me a while after saying "I enjoy talking with you and going down memory lane, I look forward to talking again soon" so guess we're still on the dang dragon after all.
Give your ex the time he needs. Saying he wants to enjoy single life first means that he wants to take it slow.
@@ClayAndrews Thank you so much for that... I was spending tonight going over the channel trying to find something that might fit that. Since last week we basically talked almost every day and he was expressing being unhappy it seemed with the rebound. They're not broken up yet but I'm hoping for some movement because of the decoy effect and positively interacting. Even if he does become single, that'd be good enough for me so we can hopefully get closer (like seeing each other in person... his rebound won't let him see me at all.)
I told him his feelings are valid, and I'll still be here. I apologized for if I came off as not caring about his feelings and he said not to worry about it and we just carried on a conversation, nothing too deep this time since it seemed that wasn't where he wanted to be talking wise today.
I'll keep you updated 😭 I feel like progress has been made with your help. Your videos always seem to pop up at the times I need them most topic wise.
@@zw4065 update?? Plz. I'm having same situation
Hey clay, it would mean a lot if you respond. So my ex and i broke up about 17 days ago and I've been in no contact for 10 days. He sent me a birthday gift and i just replied thank you. He broke up with me because he said he doesn't want a relationship right now and that i am obsessed with him and he doesn't feel free. However, i pleaded after the breakup a few times but he was adamant. He's being hot and cold during that time. Now I've been in no contact for 10 days but i dont know how to approach this situation should i actually give him time or should i try to talk?
Give time
I'm caught up in the same situation. Can u plz tell me the update what happened?? How did it go?
Girl same, well not the time but he said I'm controlling so I'm leaving him alone.. I'm in no contact too
I love your ideas, always helpful!
Glad you like them!
Hi Clay. Married with kids for 23 years as mentioned in other posts. Was in nc which was going well. The issue is now my eldest daughter (24) was been a dick and the ex wife had to collect her from her flat. To deflect from the telling off she told the ex I was putting pressure on her to fix our relationship. This wasn't true but the ex has took her side and told me not to message the kids about her.....can I get back from this I dont think she believes me
thank you for this! great video
Lets see...
We are still in contact? Check. Im not blocked and she does reply to me when I text, just nothing major.
Am I willing to make changes? Check. Im ready to adapt and change.
Initiate things? Check. She broke up with me but over life not issues. Ill take the first steps if need be.
Push through things? Check. Im willing to wait for her and try my best, even if its hard and I get no help.
Shift Focus? Check. I care about her and her well being. Yeah a relationship would be nice but I want to be with her.
For me at least feels like a check on each point. Do I still have a chance? who knows... She has who I think is a rebound, our talks are super short (if not a single reply each time), etc. But for me its worth waiting and trying. I care about her so genuinely. Yeah going to these videos and articles wont always help given no two situations are the same but Its stuff like this that at least motivates me to keep trying until either too much has changed or im outright told to give up cuz at that point its forcing it. It has to be her decision.
So yeah. Great video, hope it pans out for me really, but its still good motivation to keep moving forward.
Ex has me blocked on FB. I have pretty much given up. I still chat with his son from time to time, but nothing related to relationship with his dad. Not going to use him to relay messages. If he chooses to tell his dad about what we talk about, it's up to him. I didn't do anything wrong but he twisted something completely out of context and publicly (on FB) set out to hurt me with a lie.
What if he blocked me on everything except Snapchat because he doesn’t want someone in my family to know, probably his family too)we still talk.? It makes me feel really bad it hurts my feelings and I don’t even know if he will ever unblock me😭
@Ms march, will you be in acceptance with your ex's wishes? At times, we have to understand that they may not be that ready yet for people to know that you are talking as they are having a hard time explaining things.
Hi Clay, thank you for your content! I dated my ex for a year and we started LDR since 2020 Things were a lot harder and we were constantly on and off. Last week, we had a fight because my trip to visit her got cancelled due to pandemic And she broke up with ne because she said our relationship is not making her happy, she had been seeing this meeting up the last shot but now i missed my shot. saying thst she still likes me, we can be friends but seriously we are broken up.
One day after she started texting me some random things even pics of our dog. I thought we are good because that's how we reconcile after fights -- one person initiate a light conversation. So i responded as if we were still together. But she would act cold and offended when i talk about our relationship and remind me that We're broken up and she is serious. I feel very uncomfortable and confused talking to her right now.
I don't know if she's scared because we have been fighting A LOT for a period of time. She will come back to my city in two weeks , but now she's acting very cold and distance.
please advice.
thank you
@LL Zhang, it seems like you and your ex are not emotionally aligned yet when it comes to talking about the relationship. Before getting into that topic, we have to be sure that they are okay emotionally to have that talk. Because if not, it will put their wall of reactance up.
@@ClayAndrews thank you for your response and advice. She is acting funny right now. She still text me some random stuffs and even send me selfies. I kept the tempo slow but she even asks me why I don't reply her. And when I finally talked she said "it's fine we broke up" and disappeared 😵😵😵
@@llzhang8437 She is showing signs of hot and cold treatment. It's important that you meet her where she is at emotionally.
Have you considered looking into one of our courses? We can definitely help you out on your journey.
@@ClayAndrews I have been and I have been getting a lot of information from someone I hired to help me out with this shit and I know that I am 💯 percent positive about everything I have been saying but I am waiting for the right time to do what I have to do
Don't be afraid for the things you are doing be a man and accept the consequences
My ex has blocked me everywhere.. Till today I dont know why, I really did not do anything bad to her ... all what I did that I begged and pleaded when she was breaking up with me... thats all...
Hi Zack, I think you have just answered the reason why your ex had blocked you. It's because she also wanted to have that personal time for herself without having the pressure of getting back into the relationship.
Dont take it too personal. I remember wanting to block my ex when he didn’t do anything wrong I was just sooo emotional and wanted to remove the source
Plus we live in a “block him” culture
@@bananas9695 I did not take it personally, but it is very painful to see her gone and cut all connections in 1 week after 6 years relationship. That is insane. I am very worried about her and have zero information, her friends acting like a wall, they blocked me as well and if I ask any of them how is she, they say DONT ASK ABOUT HER! I have not idea where all of this hate come form, I did not do anything bad, I wish I know what I did to get all of this.
@@ClayAndrews She said that I did not respect her decision of breaking up with me. I did all of that out of my care and love. I dunno if she will revisit her decision again, it has been 3 months ....
@Clad Andrew's well i have blocked my ex on Facebook cuz it was cuz i need it for me to move on, but i feel if she really love me she would swallow her pride & be there
My situation was extremely confusing. She had me blocked on her Facebook and major social media platforms but not on Facebook Messenger on her old account and sms. We were talking daily but she was keeping major parts of her life hidden from me but she still wanted to know what was going on in my life. She talked to me constantly but she never wanted to spend time together in person. She would show pictures of stuff that I bought for her to post on social media or she would take a picture in a clothing item that I bought for her. She was very hot and cold and I eventually became frustrated and I had to stop talking to her because it was hurting me badly. I will never know now if she ever really cared or she was just stringing me along.
How can I start to build good conversations and a good overall appearance towards my ex? What exactly should I talk to her about and how do I start up a conversation that she won’t just ignore?
Here's a video where I answered that. Hope this helps. ruclips.net/video/NxeZX_0U9Gc/видео.html
I cut my finger at work the other day and my ex texted me saying “I heard you cut your finger I’m sorry I hope it heals soon” is this a good sign? Plz respond
It shows they still have concern for your health which can be a good sign but without any real context cannot say for certain
That's a good sign!
Clay, she initiates every once in a while. It’s nice because I know it’s real because it’s coming from her not me. She deleted her rebound on Instagram but then like 5 days later readded him but still messaged me but sometimes she messages me and then leaves me on read. I hate that because it feels like if she wanted me back she wouldn’t be ok with just leaving me on read and not continuing the conversation. I want to invite her over to my apartment but I don’t know if she will like that because she hasn’t said she missed me or asked to see me. I don’t know if I should make that move or keep holding out. I hate how fragile this all feels that one little slip and I’ll scare her away.
@PunkRocker-182 , I understand where you are coming from. Take things one step at a time. Inviting her over the apartment may be too personal for now. But given the situation around the globe, you can settle for more video interaction probably.
Clay Andrews thank you clay. I’m bothered by a comment she made last night while texting me. She told me her friend got her hair cut by my friend and my friend didn’t know we had broken up. It bothers me that she told me that. It’s like confirming that we aren’t together. Do you think that’s bad that she decided to tell me that someone thought we were still together when we aren’t?
How do I get him back if he’s struggling to get over his rebound and he only wants to be friends with benefits with me?
I know that he can help you too okay
For rule 5 does that mean you should agree to just be friends?
I desperately want to reconnect with my ex. No matter what I do and how much time it's been I keep coming back to missing him and us. I feel like it's a list cause tho. He broke up with me after 4 years. I guess he felt like the connection was gone and the relationship was hollow. Idk.
Well I’m not blocked. Willing to change interactions with them. Willing to push through tough times.
But I’m keeping no contact. Every woman I know has told
Me not to contact her. Let her contact me.
What if they are already talking to someone? I think it’s a rebound relationship to be honest...
I'd let it play out....
HOW ARE WE GONNA GET BACK TOGETHER IF HE JUMPED INTO ANOTHER GIRL WHEN THINGS GOT TOUGH BETWEEN US? Even sent me the photo of them just to push me away and for me to stop trying to fix our relationship?????
Its only been a month and really, he already having sex with some other girl? But before that he asked me for a month no contacting but i was in damage control mode, i was so angryy i kept messaging him and bam he sent me the photo!
Just step back let him have his cake sooner or later he will regret it perhaps not sure the whole situation. But just do no contact for yourself.
Your are both emotional. Go through Active No Contact first. You will end up damaging your relationship the more you argue.
Clay Andrews but i already started to date someone else too, no physical contact involved tho. I just started my first date last night and i enjoyed it. Idk if what im doing right now is right tho. But im already so hurt that i just probably want to move on that to wait for him to contact me.
@@ClayAndrews can I ask a question
im just gonna stay no contact
Good video
= this is some diff real-ass advice than almost all other bullshit videos that play into creating pure mind games. it's actually constructive and taking the initiative and accountability into myself instead of setting unrealistic expectations for others
This guy!
What if an your ex doesn't say no or yes when you ask them if they would give you a second chance in the future
It sounds like your ex is still keeping the possibilities open depending on how things would progress on the present moment.
@@ClayAndrews thanks clay i appreciate it do you think you can do a video on what to do if you had to work with your ex who became your boss happend to me and was one of the hardest things i ever had to do in my life lol but i got threw it
hey man so I made like every mistake in the book I told her that i understood the reasons we split up and I'd bide my time until she was ready (following those pesky instincts) i thought this would give her a sense of freedom that she could do whatever she needed and id be here. however its only push me to about 80/100 on the reactance scale. she text me occasionally always short 2 words and a period. id love to see a video about what to do once you"ve made these mistakes.
We both changed number and dont talk and have each other blocked its over. She had someone else lined up
I'm sorry to hear about that jay. How would you like to proceed given the present situation that you both have?
My ex broke up with me 10 or 11 days ago I didn’t contact him within that time. But then I read a lot of advice online to get an ex back so I asked my boyfriend if he is still doing ok and then I brought up the new Garfield movie coming out on May 24th of this year to make sure he knew when it is coming to theaters. I remember how he said he liked Garfield. The second day I wrote him and said I’m hoping we can still be friends or something like that. And he didn’t respond as far as I know. How long should I go with out contact from now on? Should I wait until he answers? What should I say when he does? He said he had blocked me but I don’t see evidence that I am it looks like I’m not. At least not blocked on everything.
Do these steps count for separation from short term marriage too? One week after our wedding he called quits, not prepared to work on anything at all… there was/is no 3rd party, no massive fight, nothing severe, he just “wants to be alone” and isnt “in love” with me anymore.. Ive been trying the “smart contact”, better myself, stay friendly, give him intimacy when he wants it (he is away from home atleast 4 times a week now, staying with a friend), he still hasn’t signed the divorce papers (saw lawyer 3 weeks ago), but still says he wants a divorce, he made a mistake.. what on earth can I do?
What if she blocked and unblocked multiple times?
It's been almost a year. It's difficult for me to do total no contact as we have small kids. Bt our conversation is limited to that. He refuses to give me back my stuff. He had ghosted me bt now we talk. I Dnt think I will get him bcos ours was a long distance relo. Bt my kids tell me she looks a lot like. It's like he is with me. So confusing...
I understand how confusing this can be. What question do you have at the moment?
Weird situation... we have been together and lived together for almost 4 years. We never really talked about each other as a couple but we were basically building a life together, talking about the future. He breaks it of, seemingly, out of no where. Says he has been unhappy for awhile. When I finally sat down and talked it out with him, I got to the route of one of the issues but he then told me, that he never saw himself marrying me. I currently working on one of the issues. but we are still living together and want to give it another try. Is there a way I can change his mind about me?
@Gaby, I think your situation can be a little bit complicated as you have not defined your relationship. As you know, we cannot change other people's mind but we may have a ability to inspire them.
@Clay Andrews is there a chance we could get back together? If he stayed that long and I’ve met his whole family, there must have been some part of him that thought we were right for each other, but he was just waiting on me to change certain things in my life? What else can I do, besides bettering myself, to inspire him? What should I be doing to show him that I deserve a long term commitment?
@@gabycastro2168don't force him to get back together as it might backfire. Instead, work on getting the emotional connection back. You do this by cultivating relational skills. You can check the videos I made about these relational skills. >> ruclips.net/video/4tFxxSsmM_k/видео.html
My ex cheated on me and I think it was because this was the first serious relationship and monogamous(for both parties) relationship she’s had. So I think she freaked out about how close we were so fast but it happened a few times. She started getting very short with me and less affectionate. Little things set her off. I asked her if she even want this anymore and she said she just wasn’t in it anymore and we took a break but she started seeing the person she cheated on me with and basically became who I was with her. She’s the more attached “needy” one in that relationship and has been with them longer than she was with me almost at this point. But she still calls me on her breaks and lunches from work and asks me to help her with a lot of things still that a gf should be doing... it’s very confusing. Her new gf ignores her a lot so she gets the sex and physical stuff from her gf and she gets the friendship connection from me. It’s weird. Idk. I just feel like an idiot but I feel like there’s still a connection there.
Though you two have broken up, there "care" will still be there. It seems that she's been getting the best of both worlds and it may be adding to her confusion. Give you and your ex some space first so that you both can heal and process what you both really feel.
What if I’m the one who initiated no contact. She was messaging me for a month and thought that we could be friends. I didn’t feel the same and I asked her for space. It’s been 4 weeks no contact now.
@Clay Andrews So like if I’m talking to her through a friend is that a sign or no?
@Joy Vicky oh really
I want her back but i think i found someone better Bc my ex is really toxic but it wasn’t as bad as you may think she just has a lot of personal troubles at home with family and school and all that stuff ya know
Very communicative
Gets upset if I don’t answer the phone
Very curious about what I’m doing
She’s in a “relationship” with someone tho….
So I’m in no contact
I let her come to me it’s been almost two months and things are getting progressively better
But I have gotten to the point where I will be ok if she comes back or not I’m doing the work FOR ME!!!
@akeemhudson9769 Thanks for sharing. I really appreciate it.
Not blocked but refuse to talk
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My ex blocked me on Facebook but texts me regularly and I also asked her out for a walk and and lunch and she accepted. She asked for distance but we worked together I gave it to her she then texted me the next day saying she couldn’t handle not talk to me. I want her back but it’s important we talk about the issues at some stage .
Hey Clay, my ex told her mom that she thinks about getting back with me a lot. Idk if she’s still seeing her rebound. We still talk. I’ve been working on me and making the changes to myself, I’m definitely willing to initiate. Her mom told me to check in on her from time to time and maybe ask her to breakfast or dinner down the road. My whole life I pushed thru hard times, so that’s no problem. I’m focusing on connecting with her now rather than just “getting the relationship back” like I was in the very beginning when I was in panic fix it mode. What do you think? Obviously she has no idea her mom and I talk.
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
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So I've been through active NC for a month and a couple of days ago my ex reached out to my mom but I'm still blocked. Was it to get closure out of guilt because she had a great relation with my mother? She (my ex) mentioned that she hopes that a time comes when she can communicate with me and that we need to "walk different paths" and rediscover ourselves.
I understand what you are saying so I will be there at that time
@Incognitum Hactenus I understand that you might have some questions in mind. but have you asked your mom what they have talked about?
i was on 12th day of NC, he sent me 300 msgs. But he is with some other girl right now. When i reploed him, he said just wanted to see if i was doing fine and wants to be my friend but loves the new girl (they r in relation for 2 months). What to do now? Shall i go on NC again??
@Sukh Mani , I think the better question to ask yourself is "have you already healed yourself to fully accept his offer of friendship?"
Clay Andrews no i havent.. bt the thing is i fee its his rebound and he still loves as our relation was of 9 years. And i want him back
@@sukhmani5913 then stay with him and keep being his blow up doll because the first one is the best one you have lost and will find a better woman to spend the rest of his life with
So, we have been broken up for over a year, we used to talk alot but here lately we haven't, is that a dip?
Hi its been a Month since i broke up with my Girlfriend she said we need to Brake up cuz she is not felling comfortable in our relationship and i dont understand why and i still like her and i really want her back pls give me some advice
Thank you!
We're you able to identify why she felt uncomfortable in your relationship? It seems to me like you need to work on your communication skills.
So if she's texting but still in a rebound. That's a positive sign ?
Alakto Choudhury same
Amen 🙏
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I talked to my ex last night about what she did wrong during relationship that hurt me snd she started to cry because I was also raising my voice and she said can you not raise your voice?. Then I felt bad and held her and kissed her and she reciprocated but stopped snd it was late and I took her home. What do you think happened and what will happen? We haven't slept together for 3 months. This is the first time being able to hold her and kiss her again.
Clay Andrews, are you an INFJ? (you make same facial expressions as me...just wondering :D )
I took the MBTI before but it changes from time to time. :-)
What are missing the misery?
There is a reason all your relationships failed. The were meant to fail.
Clay, my boyfriend (for almost 9 months) broke up due to a lot of fighting, said he doest want such relationship but still loves me.
One month passed, he came back said he wants us together again, he is ready to restore what he broke. We started going out, kissing, and discussing what went wrong, he admitted lying for things, overall 2...3 heavy conversations. He acted a bit different on his social media, more active with posts and befriending girls, deleting our one photoe, which i adressed as a problem for me.
And then at the next day, he pulled away saying he is confused, not knowing if he is ready for a serious relationship. He is really sexually attracted to me..but not sure for the commitment part (he is a lot younger than me, he is 20). He said he will think one more week...and silence again. I messed up by talking so serious stuff so early and scared him away.
What should I do now?? He is one step away from giving up on me again and leaving me for good.
His age has nothing to do with it my 21 year old has been with the same girl for 4 years a very healthy mature thriving relationship, don't let him treat you as an option he doesn't value you, if he truly did he wouldn't put himself in a position to loose you....you make the decision for him he sounds very immature and looking to see what other options is out there....know your worth girl and don't settle for less than you deserve....ex's can also be blessings it's not rejection it's a lesson to what you don't want xo
Valentina Kostadinova He Treating You Like An Option, Make It Hard For Him Not Easy. You Should Go Into No Contact & Move On. Have Options.
Watch videos on the confused” man. It will help you. And the age difference is not the problem there. Good luck 🍀
It's not that he is making you an option. What your ex is telling you is that he is attracted to you, but because of the fights you had, those caused a lower emotional connection. If having sex without commitment goes against your values, be firm and set healthy boundaries.
I’ve been in the Ex back system for 2 months. I’ve made damaging mistakes, but overall me and my Ex have been on decent terms all the way through it. If anything, I’m angry at her for moving on so fast.
What I’ve learned from this experience, is that trying to get my ex back is far more damaging to me than it is to her. So I gave up, I stopped talking to her. She’s in a relationship now and I no longer matter like I used to. I’m fine with that. It’s okay.
Until suddenly, only a few days after I stopped trying, she started initiating. She’s messaging me, regardless of how it would make her new boyfriend feel. She’s tried to initiate conversation, but when I respond she makes no effort to keep it going. I don’t understand her motive.
Fuzzywuzz71 without writing too much she could’ve realised she made a mistake and wants to see if your still interested in her or she could rebound off you coz things aren’t going well in her current relationship in my opinion both situations arnt good it could be she’s trying to transition into getting back with you after her man she’s with now so she’s not alone or single stay safe king and protect your heart till you know what’s up 100%
2k oakes295 She’s a confused girl, doesn’t know what she wants. Her family aren’t great people and she lives with a lot, I was the least of her worries when we broke up. She’s incapable of being alone otherwise she’ll have to face these issues alone, so she got with this guy pretty fast. Apparently it’s going well, but who knows what’s really going on behind closed doors.
I don’t think she’s entirely opened up to her new guy yet. Could be causing some trust issues. I’ll find out what the future holds eventually. For now, I’ll remain king! 👑
@@VitriolicWithering I am the only one who is the King
Only not if ur the one who broke up with them then come back in 5yrs acted like he was so excited to hear from u but doesnt tell u hes dating someone else and I really thought that could b possible but he should have told me that instead wanting me to come over told her she kept calling. He thought that was funny and said shes trying to keep us from being intimate and then I said I'm leaving he acted surprised and said really. Really I broke up with him for cheating he shouldnt have been surprised I was leaving. If he was trying to make me jealous did that the wrong way for sure instead communicated to me he hasnt changed by
What if they blocked me on facebook but not messages so I cant see what her and her rebound date are doing?😒
That's messed up
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Our books are currently available in Amazon. But you can also check our books over here >>> modernlove.life/book/
What if your are implementing no contact?
Finish your no contact first and then reassess when you start reconnecting.
I love her...bt she did brkup with me after having 6 years ... oneday she suddenly told me that we r different ..so in future there will be problem between us so we should brkup. Bt we r still in contact bt there is a problem she never did initiate the conservation bt when I do she just replies and sometimes calls me bt conversation is like all casual like friend type. So is there any possibility to get her back? Help me coach
I Have Given Up. He Told Me To Stop Texting Him, So I'm Not Going To Bother Him Anymore, He's In A Rebound Relationship And He Doesn't Want To Talk To Me At All! It Hurts I Just Can't Keep Trying and Don't Get A Response!!
@@That_Handle That's What I'm Going To do My Best Me!!
Mines been in a rebound for 3 months
@@stevenwylie6175 I'm sorry To Hear That Like I Said im done im tired of trying To reach out to him and I don't get a Response Back We were In a relationship for 5years, I'm just tired!
If your ex is resistant and you keep pushing, the more he'll put his wall up. Have you tried Active No Contact first? Here's one of my videos to know if you should give up getting this relationship back >> ruclips.net/video/e2FlPCssw5E/видео.html
@@ClayAndrews Yes Clay I have Done Active No Contact and I Got 1 Response From Him After It Was Done, And Now He's Not Responding Again, I'm Going To Do No Contact At All Now, Thank You for The Advice And I Will Watch The Video.
Is no contact really the answer
We're separated with my ex, but we have still sex? What do you think about this brother , do you think I can get my ex back
Sexual needs sometimes do not equate to a romantic relationship. People can have sex without commitment. So if we are using sex to get our ex back, maybe it is time to revisit our intent.
What do I do if we just officially stopped seeing each other and we are supposed to go on vacation in 3 weeks... just cancel our vacation or reach out in a couple weeks and see if she'll go?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,I got help from a great man who brought us back together......
Wh atsA p p👆.....
I’m confused when you say willing to initial things. She made the decision for things to be “on hold”, basically taking a break. I don’t feel like I need to initiate. Been in no contact for a week now.
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I never did NC with her, she ended it w me end of 2019, and started talking to an old friend start of 2020. 2 months later theyre in an LDR. She stayed resistant to me but this weekend she was complaining about him and called me for 20mins, facetimed for 7mins and we had nice fun convos.. are these signs shes still into me? She also sent me snapchat i sent her long ago of me saying something cute to her that she was like "Aw :)" to ... and she is always anxious as he has an illness and is vulnerable to covid-19 so she stays anxious all the time and even contemplated ending it with him at start of the month.. but said she's "trusting in god and the universe"... she comes back in August this year. What do I do?
Well you did mention she was in a long distance relationship with an old friend and how she was complaining about him. However she did send you a screenshot of what reminded her of you. So what I can say speaking from experience is to just keep it all positive with your words and throw in a few jokes here and there, you need to just remind her of how well you two can get along and have a good time. If you can get her to maybe have dinner with you or just catch up over some coffee or tea you'll be fine. Better yet John if you can invite her over to your place if you live by yourself , make it a dinner night. If not just keep it simple with tea.
Andrew Cruz Thanks for the reply. She left my country in October and told me she loved me before she left (we broke up official last April, fell back in love but not committed). Then it continued until end of 2019 and it got toxic for her bc she couldn’t get over our past, and realised she liked this guy too so she ended it and started with him. Kinda bad situation it blindsided me for sure. So we are also “long distance” right now
She finds you as someone she can still open up with. That is a good thing. What can you do? Strengthen your emotional connection with her in every opportunity you get to talk to her.
@@andrewcruz7595 whatever.
@@ClayAndrews You think so? What about her current boyfriend? She wanted to call me yesterday too but wasn't able to as she was around family all day.. We were also reminiscing about "this day a year ago" as we went out with my friends on paddy's day in 2019, and she was saying how it was such fun times, I also said I couldnt find the picture of us we took together on that day and she told me to send it when I found it.. but today it seems like she has pulled back quite a bit. We talked all night last night. I dont think I should be texting her too much though as it could get draining. Is that a good idea? She seems to not be so resistant to me anymore, like you talk about in one of the stages in your courses
My ex hasnt block me but I’m always doing the textinc and calling so i wanted to perform no contact rule is it the best way ?
Hi Alice, it's definitely okay to do Active No Contact. But remember that ANC is not just about disappearing from the other person, but it is also about knowing your personal goals why you are doing ANC. What are you trying to achieve as a person after doing ANC (aside from the possibility of getting him back)?
@@ClayAndrews ok thank you
@@ClayAndrews I want to ask since I and my ex decided we want to reconcile I stressed him got him angry and a lot last minute he told me we should go our separate ways will the no contact be ok in this situation? And my question is during the no contact what if he finds comfort and peace as compared to how I pushed him
Take the initiative in doing what? I thought we weren't supposed to talk with them? They had to come to us because they dumped us.
What if they unblock but don’t respond?
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He has d right solution to relationship problems
Initiate? Suppose you are doing NC?
@Tom, if you feel that you have reached the Effortless Connection (we talked about that inside our Ex Solution Program course), that is the stage we recommend where you can initiate any form of contact with your ex.
@@ClayAndrews Ok, however. She was a text dumper, insisted, demanded I go get my stuff that weekend and return her key. I have not gone to get my stuff or return her key, now she seems like she is ghosting me. Real mature for a 56 yr old. She either doesnt care, figures eventually I will get my stuff, or one day I will open my door and there it is. I doubt the last scenario will happen, never know though.
@@toms81162 Give her some time. If you decide to get your stuff back, maybe you can start with a light chat. Just make sure that you match her emotional level. Adjusting to your ex's emotional level is thoroughly discussed in our program. I can send you more information should you want it.
@@ClayAndrews to be honest. Me not getting my stuff as told by her I translate as she hasnt really finalized the break up or the relationship.
What if they come back every 6-9 months swearing they want love n marriage and literally stonewall the next day ?
I'm sorry to hear about that. Have you tried evaluating the recent situation if it is something that is still aligned on your personal values?
Clay Andrews of course. He can stay broken. I’m >....
I certainly wouldn't wait for them to figure it out.. .
I'd move on .. if I'm available when they figure out what they want, we can see how I feel at that time...
Hi Clay! I am blocked on everything so I don't know how I'll be able to initiate any conversation. I definitely want to prioritize his feelings and concerns but what if his feelings are against us getting together because of how I never prioritized his feelings and cared? I want to create an emotional connection but if I try I'm afraid he will be very annoyed because I never could do that in the relationship. Also, I am blocked since he does not want anything to do with me and does not think we can be friends so how do I start trying to create a connection?
My ex and I talk all day every day and sleep together she's in a relationship wtf 😳
I'm sorry to hear about this, Brian. Has she opened up about what she feels about you and what this interaction with you meant?
@@ClayAndrews not at all she won't express her feelings
@@ClayAndrews I think I'm being used
@@brianrohm1787 you know what man...that's one side effect no one talks about when it comes to getting an ex back. Especially if you're the one who initiates the reunion, there's a danger of becoming her backup plan while she entertains other guys.
My ex block me on all social and text but she unblock me on messenger a week ago out of all . Why do you think she did that?
Mine has done the same thing for 5 months on a weekly basis.. Blocked for a week, unblocked for a week, repeat...until mid July. Her rebound joined the Air Force , and when he was gone at basic training I stayed unblocked. 2 weeks ago we saw each other for the first time in 5 months, driving past each other in opposite directions, twice in one day. She has be looking at my Facebook Stories ever since. Until 4 days ago... Flyboy Commander Rebound came back... That's alright though, he'll be deployed soon.
Joshua Rice she must of not moved on from you . They don’t know what they want but they making them self look bad by just doing all that to provoke you or something smh
@@evillution1209 Well man. My exfiance texted me last weekend for the first time in 7 months. Nothing special, but she seemed really depressed. I think her rebound may be crumbling
i like this talk about exes. i have alot. but my first one, he posts pics license pic from when we were dating and then a pic of his wife back then LOLOL bitch. he also talked to his friend about our trip to amusement park andhow a ride made him sick coincidentally it was an article about shut down rides that i just happened to see his remark.!!!
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Need advice, Its been 3 months since i break up with my ex cause i found out that she is seeing someone else (her classmate ) but still she heart react on my posts and my pictures (even tho i unfriended her on fb) last month she post a picture of us with pictures of my bandmate greeting him a happy birthday ( which is our mutual friend) , then yesterday she talks about me with them and bringing up things when we are still together, why is she doing this?
@Remusic, there is nothing wrong is she talks about you. But the thing is, what is it that she talks about you that will matter the most.
@@ClayAndrews great things that happen in the past
Ggd