@@asiandude8361 Lol it definitely worked. How are you gonna tell me? Caught a high earner, young 28 year old black man who was a player, huge ego, manipulator and some narcissistic tendencies. He’s now emotionally attached and chasing me more than ever. I made some mistakes in the beginning, but definitely got the power back. He is madly in love with me, his whole behavior changed
In my experience the best thing to do after a great date is be calm and not reach out, let him do it himself, in a few days or so, then go his pace, text a bit less than he does etc.
Men don't play games most of the time? Oh yes, they do. *Many* men are intoxicated by dating coaches that teach them to make women chase them... It's real, and it's a disaster.
I needed this, honestly though dating is so exhausting nowadays that I don’t have the emotional wherewithal or energy to put into it anymore, I’ve decided that I’m going to pour my love into things and people that it’s going to be reciprocated by, I’m no longer wasting my time & energy, as I’ve learned my time & energy is just as valuable as anyone else’s, I’ve also learned it doesn’t have to be a significant other that you pour your love into, my kids and beautiful friendships that i have are giving me an abundance of love & laughter, & honesty that’s what we all seek out of life, it took me 35 years to realize i don’t have to be “ romantically involved “ with someone to have these things, I’m just fine on my own with the people that i know truly love & value me, life is good, everyone else can respectfully have the rest, I wish everyone reading this a life full of love & laughter, just remember you can have this without romance & games being involved lol, have a great day y’all!! 🙂
Ageee its to hard what should be natural ( 2 people liking each other) isn't like that any more, sick of having my hopes raised then dashed over and over by men that are not all that.
It's because they think they can find better options, better looking etc.. its really that simple and meanwhile they enjoy the attention they're getting from other women who they consider to be mid (average) .
@@sansadrake4133 very well said!!! it’s been my experience that I’m always told they like my personality & looks , & then after a couple months of dating they all of a sudden start acting COMPLETELY different, it’s like they can’t resist the urge to see what’s gonna happen if they go after the dangling carrot, sorta speak, the temptation is just to great nowadays, it’s literally at their fingertips, i feel like some of them want to settle down with someone but the fear of missing out is just to great, I’m just so tired of being made to feel like I’m in competition with the next woman, I’m at the point where I’ve realized it’s just a game & I frankly don’t have time to play it nor do I care, I took myself out of the game & said y’all win, I’m out ✌🏻 but your ABSOLUTELY right!!! It really is that simple! Unfortunately 💯
I really love it how you break it down so methodically about the steps of what happens- almost 'scientifically' you could say. No-one else really does it quite like you. It makes it so much easier to understand! Really enjoy your videos Elliott thanks and keep up the great work!
**Also: Avoidant Attachment Styles. Google it. Absolute doozy to deal with on the receiving end. When sh*t starts to get serious, red alarms go off, they tuck tail and jump ship like their life depends on it!
This! It’s being said that avoidants are dominating the dating scene. Some think these people are a-holes but in reality they have unhealed trauma and are frightened.
@@piscespisces6 i do think that trauma doesn't give people the right to behave like reckless aholes. When you tell an "avoidant" couple of times what hurts you and they change NOTHING, it *definitely is* ahole behaviour. I'm so tired of "understanding" every bs. Who considers *my* feelings? Surely not an avoidant who pretends to be too avoidant to behave kindly. Avoidant does not mean "i lost my brain". It shouldn't be a n excuse for everything. In case the avoidance is *this* bad that one hurts people he loves, he will and should seek help/psychotherapy and do *everything* in his power in order to not hurt beloved people any more.
@@sansadrake4133 in my case it was not a love story. It was a consistent year and half beautiful friendship that got stopped ubruptly. At first i was terrified an accident happened as it was no indication of any sort of ghosting. Then i stayed 2 weeks figuring out he was healthy. After that i just gave him the ghost request he wanted and minded my own business .i think it is very cruel because even if u want to vanish... do it...but this behavior traumatised me because while i had good intentions trying to know he is safe, he was vanishing at his own agenda for whatever reason ... and we bumped many times afterwards.. he acted so sweet and natural...which is also sick because its an act. He could be really nice and say truth ... and let me accept his genuine self. The excuse of fear or detachment personality is all jargons we use to cover up a sick behavior . When you really care to be nice..you dont do such things
Yes. He worked all of that time to break down my walls and earn my trust and when I finally let go, he pulled away. So I dumped him. It hurts real bad, but no time for those games.
This is exactly what happened for me recently… He was so into me already planning future dates with us and traveling and even inviting me to bring my child.. then text me one day that he doesn’t actually wanna relationship…like huh?? Went from texting me all day long to that? So weird. He got spooked..and you’re right realized that he provided a lot of context of what he could potentially offer, but then realized that he can’t! And had to back off
Elliot is talking about grown ass boys , men who have put in the work will keep persuing you, think about it this way imagine you are pregnant and he gets all up in his head , men can run away from responsibility we stay..he will leave you and you're child.
7 out of 10 times he will come back. Did he miraculously change during the break up? Think long and hard before you get caught up in his on and off again relationship cycle that will last as long as you allow it.
Slow him down… slower… even slower… much slower. Watch his moves. Stay detached at all times-I cannot overemphasize this. Respect comes before love. Ensure your standards align with his character. Your only job is to watch until you get commitment. There is no love without commitment. There is no commitment without marriage.
hi, why would men say they're looking for a serious relationship and suddenly they're gone. my man is saying he's too busy and exhausted with work and he also has to study for his licensure exam.
Because they know thats what women want to hear so they can use you for all of your benefits. All of those excuses are to string you along until the one he really wants comes along. It hurts like hell, but cut him off & walk away so you can free yourself for someone who wants you. You desreve it!
Should I stay friends with such a guy? He met me with his Mom and acted like a boyfriend in many aspects, we spend some days together and out of nowhere he calls me saying "I don't want to build a relationship with a future with you anymore".
Mine said he was torn between thinking we are great together and being unsure if we'd last long term. He's an avoidant. I made the decision for him and we parted ways.
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Thats why you play games to get him to fall in love. And then give space. Worked with me
I don't think it worked for you.
@@asiandude8361
Lol it definitely worked. How are you gonna tell me? Caught a high earner, young 28 year old black man who was a player, huge ego, manipulator and some narcissistic tendencies. He’s now emotionally attached and chasing me more than ever. I made some mistakes in the beginning, but definitely got the power back. He is madly in love with me, his whole behavior changed
@@ceyciemateo9411 what kid of mistakes v
What did you do please ?
In my experience the best thing to do after a great date is be calm and not reach out, let him do it himself, in a few days or so, then go his pace, text a bit less than he does etc.
Men don't play games most of the time? Oh yes, they do. *Many* men are intoxicated by dating coaches that teach them to make women chase them... It's real, and it's a disaster.
😢lol andrew tate
I know how can he say that they don't
I needed this, honestly though dating is so exhausting nowadays that I don’t have the emotional wherewithal or energy to put into it anymore, I’ve decided that I’m going to pour my love into things and people that it’s going to be reciprocated by, I’m no longer wasting my time & energy, as I’ve learned my time & energy is just as valuable as anyone else’s, I’ve also learned it doesn’t have to be a significant other that you pour your love into, my kids and beautiful friendships that i have are giving me an abundance of love & laughter, & honesty that’s what we all seek out of life, it took me 35 years to realize i don’t have to be “ romantically involved “ with someone to have these things, I’m just fine on my own with the people that i know truly love & value me, life is good, everyone else can respectfully have the rest, I wish everyone reading this a life full of love & laughter, just remember you can have this without romance & games being involved lol, have a great day y’all!! 🙂
Ageee its to hard what should be natural ( 2 people liking each other) isn't like that any more, sick of having my hopes raised then dashed over and over by men that are not all that.
@@pam164 yep, I agree with you a 100 %, that’s why I’m at the point I’m at too.
Absolutely true.
It's because they think they can find better options, better looking etc.. its really that simple and meanwhile they enjoy the attention they're getting from other women who they consider to be mid (average) .
@@sansadrake4133 very well said!!! it’s been my experience that I’m always told they like my personality & looks , & then after a couple months of dating they all of a sudden start acting COMPLETELY different, it’s like they can’t resist the urge to see what’s gonna happen if they go after the dangling carrot, sorta speak, the temptation is just to great nowadays, it’s literally at their fingertips, i feel like some of them want to settle down with someone but the fear of missing out is just to great, I’m just so tired of being made to feel like I’m in competition with the next woman, I’m at the point where I’ve realized it’s just a game & I frankly don’t have time to play it nor do I care, I took myself out of the game & said y’all win, I’m out ✌🏻 but your ABSOLUTELY right!!! It really is that simple! Unfortunately 💯
Hahah “I said some stupid shit I meant but can’t offer”😂
LMFAOOO
Sooooo true!! Everyone gets so excited in the beginning, but you gotta be able to back that crap up!
Grown boys..thats all
Yep has happened to me for the past decade. Now I can’t even have kids bc my window passed.
Depressing.
I really love it how you break it down so methodically about the steps of what happens- almost 'scientifically' you could say. No-one else really does it quite like you. It makes it so much easier to understand! Really enjoy your videos Elliott thanks and keep up the great work!
I like this new set up 👏🏼👏🏼
**Also: Avoidant Attachment Styles. Google it. Absolute doozy to deal with on the receiving end. When sh*t starts to get serious, red alarms go off, they tuck tail and jump ship like their life depends on it!
oh yes!
A class of its own, the avoidies..
Facts! It’s traumatizing
This! It’s being said that avoidants are dominating the dating scene. Some think these people are a-holes but in reality they have unhealed trauma and are frightened.
@@piscespisces6 i do think that trauma doesn't give people the right to behave like reckless aholes. When you tell an "avoidant" couple of times what hurts you and they change NOTHING, it *definitely is* ahole behaviour. I'm so tired of "understanding" every bs. Who considers *my* feelings? Surely not an avoidant who pretends to be too avoidant to behave kindly.
Avoidant does not mean "i lost my brain". It shouldn't be a n excuse for everything. In case the avoidance is *this* bad that one hurts people he loves, he will and should seek help/psychotherapy and do *everything* in his power in order to not hurt beloved people any more.
Happens me often and recently. It sucked . I hate those avoidants
When men pull away then walk away.
Nicely explained, Mr Scott 😊
Why the guy leaves by ghosting. He can simply say i am not available. At least he will be respectable...
They don't care enough to give an explanation
@@sansadrake4133 in my case it was not a love story. It was a consistent year and half beautiful friendship that got stopped ubruptly. At first i was terrified an accident happened as it was no indication of any sort of ghosting. Then i stayed 2 weeks figuring out he was healthy. After that i just gave him the ghost request he wanted and minded my own business .i think it is very cruel because even if u want to vanish... do it...but this behavior traumatised me because while i had good intentions trying to know he is safe, he was vanishing at his own agenda for whatever reason ... and we bumped many times afterwards.. he acted so sweet and natural...which is also sick because its an act. He could be really nice and say truth ... and let me accept his genuine self. The excuse of fear or detachment personality is all jargons we use to cover up a sick behavior . When you really care to be nice..you dont do such things
@@Spinnglish a year and a half of friendship and then ghosting is terrible. They should have given some kind of explanation at least
@@sansadrake4133 i just swallowed bullet in silence and moved on as no explanation provided
Because they are cowards 😬🤦♀️☺️
I think this was a great explanation.
I doubt you saw my comment but it felt like you did and even if you didnt you answered all my questions ♡
😍🫶🏼😍 smokin with that beautiful profesh background😆
What's worse is when you get engaged and he decides to pull back 😢
That’s plain fucking cruel, that is 😮
@@littleleafyleaf Yeah, well he turned out to be mentally unstable anyway so there ya go 😆
Yes. He worked all of that time to break down my walls and earn my trust and when I finally let go, he pulled away. So I dumped him. It hurts real bad, but no time for those games.
@@Alixir1228same
@@Alixir1228Queen.
This is exactly what happened for me recently… He was so into me already planning future dates with us and traveling and even inviting me to bring my child.. then text me one day that he doesn’t actually wanna relationship…like huh?? Went from texting me all day long to that? So weird. He got spooked..and you’re right realized that he provided a lot of context of what he could potentially offer, but then realized that he can’t! And had to back off
I don't get it anymore I'm giving up Elliott
Elliot is talking about grown ass boys , men who have put in the work will keep persuing you, think about it this way imagine you are pregnant and he gets all up in his head , men can run away from responsibility we stay..he will leave you and you're child.
@@Didi-fr5ic I'm saying all the men I've come across start saying they want something serious as soon as i start treating it like that boom gone
@@rareroseglosses1554 they want to work for it. Don't treat it like a serious thing straight away. That's what elliot says. Build attraction etc etc.
Lmaooooo
What happens if he wants to pause? If he pulls back and says he's going to be busy but he will see you a few weeks from now
7 out of 10 times he will come back. Did he miraculously
change during the break up? Think long and hard before you get caught up in his on and off again relationship cycle that will last as long as you allow it.
True
I don't understand why you have to pull away for this. Just communicate. If you arent ready fine let me know wo I can proceed accordingly.
Hi!! THERE CAPE TOWN, SOUTH-AFRICA 🌍🌎
Pe
SO HOW DO I AS WOMAN PREVENT THIS? cause it happened every time ;(
Slow him down… slower… even slower… much slower. Watch his moves. Stay detached at all times-I cannot overemphasize this. Respect comes before love. Ensure your standards align with his character.
Your only job is to watch until you get commitment. There is no love without commitment. There is no commitment without marriage.
hi, why would men say they're looking for a serious relationship and suddenly they're gone. my man is saying he's too busy and exhausted with work and he also has to study for his licensure exam.
Because they know thats what women want to hear so they can use you for all of your benefits. All of those excuses are to string you along until the one he really wants comes along. It hurts like hell, but cut him off & walk away so you can free yourself for someone who wants you. You desreve it!
Should I stay friends with such a guy? He met me with his Mom and acted like a boyfriend in many aspects, we spend some days together and out of nowhere he calls me saying "I don't want to build a relationship with a future with you anymore".
Ouch! I heard the same
Mine said he was torn between thinking we are great together and being unsure if we'd last long term. He's an avoidant. I made the decision for him and we parted ways.
@@Alixir1228 how do you know he is avoidant?
Does the guy ever try to come back?
Context
I wonder how you look like without beard
Me too! It would suit him. ELLIOT PLEASE SHAVE THE BEARD