STOP letting emotions influence behavior
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- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2024
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I’m Leila Hormozi…
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You combine kindness, psychology and business drive into this positive hands-on guide on how to become not only better at your job but to become a better human being. And I am really grateful that you are sharing this in such an accessible way with all of us.
thank you for saying that 🥺🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
Never let your emotions dictate your decisions. This is so powerful!
I love how you take accountability for the wrongdoings of your past self.
You're able to operate at such a high level. It takes a lot to be self aware that you're conditioned.
Exactly. and she didn’t share even one bit about HOW the fuck she got there.
Just watched 3 minutes and immediately put this on the schedule to watch this with my partner. This should solve all of our miscommunication issues. Thank you for this.
😂🎉❤
Just sent this to my wife first 3 minutes in haha
That’s a great system! I love that for sharing concepts like this and interests
I am not trying to be rude, I honestly just want to know…when the word “partner” is used, does that mean the person is gay? Why not say boyfriend, husband, wife, girlfriend? All my gay friends say partner, so I have automatically assumed, but I may be wrong.
Thank you Leila! This was super helpful. Now I understand why I would "activate" my emotions to convey my needs to my husband - because I lackedthe skills of articulating and clearly expressing what I needed. Thank you!
When I get overwhelmed I cry. It’s so embarrassing and I don’t want this to happen anymore. This was very insightful
With relatives I do but not at work. More like when they make me feel like I did something wrong and they assumed incorrectly. Or if it's exhausting.
Olá linda! Espero que Deus te abençoe, às vezes eu luto com muita emoção também, mas só queria que você soubesse que não está sozinho e que eu te entendo! ❤️
This is a really valuable lesson about how to break the cycle of emotional manipulation. Filipino VAs are known for their positive and supportive personalities. They're great at building relationships and fostering a positive work environment. Instead of relying on negative emotions, they focus on building understanding and collaboration. They're the kind of team members who'll inspire and motivate others to be their best!
HOW IS THIS NOT GETTING MORE RECOGNITION BECAUSE YOU SPOKE FACTS! I loveeeeee you for doing this thank youuu
Yeah, it's very useful and you articulated the problem very good: "we lack the verbal communication skills so we replace that with emotion that we used in the past to get the same result". Thank for the education and great examples from your experience.
you are an incredible boss. most bosses are not as intelligent, insightful, and positive as you to help out the crew.
This is so true and not limited to romantic relationships and work relationships but also useful in parenting ! So many times that our children use tears as a tool, and we as parents use anger when we just want to be obeyed. Great advice, Leila ❤
This is next-level maturity and self-awareness. Really good to keep in mind. Thank you for making this.
This is so good. I cry about everything it’s ridiculous. I knew I felt misunderstood but I didn’t know how to convey that to my husband so the tears just flow. I’m going to work on communicating so that I’m understood
Emotional manipulation. Afraid of emotional honesty. Reminds me of the book, "Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am?" The answer is... "Because who I really am is the last shred of my existence. If you don't like it, I cease to exist. Leila... you are a Treasure.
Wow!
In Uni I was known for giving death stares to people who interrupt me! Just realized I act cranky & pissy with people who interrupt my flow when I have a lot of work to do so they leave me alone, lol. As soon as I’m left alone I’m 100% on it and so happy. I can change this! I don’t want to feel pissy when I’m actually super stoked and in the zone! I can definitely have a different response that feels better to me too!
Create a relationship structure (whether it's a romantic or business partnership) that supports you experiencing emotions but doesn't rely on them. This way you have a framework to rely on no matter what temporary emotional experience is occurring in the moment.
This might be the best video ive watched in years
Why is it resonating with me so powerfully
You just described me to the T. I have trouble communicating but instead turn into my emotions. I want to learn how to persuade with my words for the best 😢
I am a 16yr old CEO and I learn too much from Leila. Like I watch these videos and implement the stuff that she tells and see improvement within minutes. Crazy Value
Dam 16 yr old? What do you do young lad?
id love to bring you on my podcast hidden julz!! email me hiddenjulzpodcast@gmail.com i interview upcoming entrepreneurs!
@@julzdafoolzz Oh ok,
emailed u ✌
What’s your business
That's amazing!!! 👏👏👏
Adlerian psychology really touches on this and how we learned these mechanisms in our childhood and throughout life. It’s easy to default to normal behaviors.. but to grow emotionally and get people to accept what you’re saying. You have to appeal to them in a proactive and NOT reactive way. I get frustrated and instantly angry when I don’t get my way…it puts everyone on edge and now I’m learning how to effectively communicate in a baseline way that is direct, efficient and productive to the conversation! Yes ma’am. I agree 10000%. It’s still rough over here, but I can only improve with awareness!!
Thank you so much for this! You have made me realise I have been unconsciously engaging in this emotional behaviour myself, being reinforced and getting what I want by acting out in unhealthy ways, this can be applied to other areas of my life too,wow this is so helpful!❤
Girl yes! The crying thing is real. I figured out a few months ago that I used crying as a way to get what I want. I’m so embarrassed that I did that my whole life🙈
Whoa 🤯 this psychology gem is a HUGE life hack 💎
Thank you for this, Leila. I’ve been applying this for the last few days, and it’s completely changed my life. Please keep being a light for others.
This is deep. I see these patterns over and over again with the people I work with also! The unconscious patterns of bad communication. Thanks for artfully articulating this!
It was and is useful , I've said it before and I'll say it again, this chick has obviously created herself to be very skilled in art of love and she helps others in the ways they love each other . 💪 . Great job . Helping process emotions and not suppress nor express too much is always the most valuable thing for anyone in my perspective
This was a better video than I thought it would be and really enjoyed it. I was resisting it due to the title, but I am really glad I listened. Great perspective.
Leila, u r so powerful, confident, intelligent, and drop dead gorgeous!!! - everything I strive to be, and I absolutely LOVE ur videos!! thank u for being so down to earth and relatable, something that’s getting more and more hard to find…. I know so many people, myself included, that really benefit from hearing what u have to say. I love sharing ur videos with them. I look forward to ur next one. ❤ u!!
Wow this is a lot of psych information all wrapped into one. Amazing and makes so much sense. Thank you
I’m only a few minutes into the video; however, as someone who is consistently works on internal issues with emotional regulation I can say when I get emotional it’s simply because I am emotional. I generally could care less about whoever is around me-unless they are making life or my job harder than it needs to be, then I will say exactly what’s on my mind (usually no censor). As I’m aging I’m learning how to control those emotions and communicate more effectively. It’s just strange that someone who ‘studies psychology’ so much usually only talks about neurotypical corporate situations… not offended or anything of the sort, just making a statement and recognizing patterns.
I do enjoy listening to this channel to learn the different (neurotypical) corporate mind games people play/manipulation tactics people use though
I've allowed my emotions to ruin my launch so many times. It's time. This is the key I was needing. Also currently reading the book, "Fierce Conversations" by Susan Scott. It's application time.
I love that you are telling us all that we are responsible for how we choose to feel. Feelings can be loud or quiet, huge or small. We can feel them, but control the degree.
The amount of value from this one video alone is insane. I don't even know how to put into words. Bcs funny things is am currently in a situation where I have developed a pretty big gap with someone close. At times when I couldn't, they would ask something from me.
And instead of clearly communicating that I can't do something or give them what they are asking for. I would just cave in or get angry to resolve whatever they are in needed from me. And now that Leila pointed out that I might simply lack the skill in communication, I'll be immediately start making changes from today.
Much appreciated Leila. Even though I don't have a business am still able to get alot of help from what you have to share.
what changes are you going to make. did you already plan how you are going to change your behavior?
oh lord by 2:46 you described my relationship and exactly what happens to me in argument with my boyfriend/partner. we really plan to grow in life and take off together, but im struggling to regulate my emotions because of my own experiences and healing that needs to be done. this was so spot on in relating and helping me not feel so crazy, but instead take the step back on whats really going on here. connecting the dots, thank you!!! ❤
Excellent Excellent Excellent topic. Before leaders of employees we are people and since we all have unresolved issues. It's at your job were it reflects the most.... I've been at fault of this.
So I love almost everything Leila puts out there, I love her succinct handle on high pressure, high stakes situations. I understan she is speaking to conditionng that keeps people liited to reacting from their emotions and or to other emotions. Its indirect, can be passive aggressive. So to evolve out of that, in essence, observe your emotions to get to the bottom of the needs, communicate directly. You win respect ande healthier relationships. To another point, I hope that Alex can appreciate emotions and can be empathetic, not that Leila has to always respond to his way without integtrating the purpose of emotions. Logic can be leaned on too much to mask a lack of trust or empthy for others due to early childhood manipulation by caretaker. Also, not everyone who has amotions at work is manipulatve. It can be shock and surprise to discover the cultures is deeply unsafe and the immense toll of discovering the task at hand, the change that will come.
I train this for high stakes relationships and design it for nuanced , authentic application at scale... deeply appreciative of Leila's massive conribution to this end
lol dang! this is exactly what happened to me a couple of days ago. My husband and I also work on our business together. Thanks for this! I'm gonna practice.
This is legit parenting advice as well. Wonderful work Leila.
Fantastic colours here, Leila. Your hair and makeup choices in contrast with the dark green really makes a pleasant scene. It also fits the depth of your content. No white and pink #advice, but dark green and healthy brown and #knowledge. I love the continual increase in quality from you and Alex.
Hey just wanted to say that this was a great explanation of my children's behavior. Thanks
Phenomenal video. Thank you for sharing, Leila.
Extremely insightful. Made me think about a lot of experiences in my life where I can connect this too. As if emotions are only a mechanisms to get something from people. Even if one is completely unaware of it.
This is true! I especially act like the third one cold and distant and lack basic communication skills. I don't even know how to work on them, and adjust or collaborate in teamwork. I get scared and refuse to work acting like a childlish wolf. This video made me realize the reflexive nature towards people and drastic impressions. I thoroughly enjoyed a lot. Hope to see a masterclass soon on body language and communication skills with teamwork and confidence.
Thank you, Leila Hormozi 😊
From a 17 year old fan.
Sounds like raising kids 😅 I'm so happy I found your podcast 💚 Thank you for the information you share!
Leila this video was so helpful, I related in so many ways. Thank you for sharing!!
Wow turns out I've been doing this forever, haven't realized yet. Thank you so much Leila
Such great content! Pulling for you Leila! Keep this up!
Thanks of articulating this. Had realized I myself have a pattern of giving what others want as a default reaction to their negative emotions. Actually one of my resolutions for the year is turning off this pattern. Always have to resist the urge and remind myself: I'm not responsible for the emotions of others.
i LOVE YOU Leila, your advices always come in the perfect moment. Thank you!
This is very helpful for my new journey. I struggle with my emotions sometimes. Thank you Leila for being vulnerable and authentic.
this is great. the main differentiator I would point out is that you have to identify if this is a pattern, or a one off. there have definitely been times when I've cried at work, like maybe 3 or 4 times in my 9 year career. Once it was on my own, once it was because I was with the person who was actively causing it, and twice was when I was with a manager or friend whom I felt comfortable enough being that vulnerable around, and it really helped getting their support when I needed it. I don't think it was enabling behavior at all, but I can 100% see how it can be if this becomes a pattern rather than one off instances.
Exactly I think it is important not to repress those emotions. If you need to cry and let it out when you feel you are in a safe space. But always try to communicate the best way you can.
🔥👏🔥. I leverage much of this psychology in my team performance consulting, SO GOOD! And you expanded on a few key areas that are super helpful, thank you Leila!
15:09 Developing high emotional intelligence is an extremely valuable skill. You always have awesome examples, Leila. Thanks for keeping me accountable 💪
Thank you for making me more self aware! After watching this video I realized that is definitely something I have seen in myself and others. Looking forward to addressing this and improving myself!
You intertwine compassion, psychology, and entrepreneurial spirit in this constructive, practical manual on how to enhance not only your professional performance but also your personal development. I deeply appreciate your willingness to make this valuable knowledge available to all of us in such an easily understandable manner.
This is great! In action this can easily be missed, sounds simple, yet so much depth.. you’re so wise beyond your years!
👏 yes 👏 Leila 👏
this is 🔥 content. Love it. Please keep the wisdom coming.
So valuable! Totally shifted my idea of emotional responses. Thank you!
Thank you so much, Leila. The more you post, the more I realize how amazing you are.
You and Alex both are just phenomenal humans. Thank you for making content like this in a very non judgmental and easy to digest delivery. This is a watch multiple times type of video.
This is an eye opener for me. Now i understand some of the behaviors I have and what can be done to move on. Thanks Leila, love your content, god bless you, I can tell it wasn’t easy, but you can see clearly now and it shows. Thanks for this fr fr.
Fantastic video! Sounds like you found a way to get out of your default state and are helping others do the same. Emotions definetly are the path of least resistance compared to using words and communicating
Love listening to you Leila. 💕
00:05🤖 Emotions are often used strategically to influence behaviors, rather than being just reactions to situations.
02:18🛡 Responding to emotions like anxiety or stress with immediate assistance can inadvertently reinforce those behaviors.
05:37💼 Learning effective communication skills is crucial in reducing reliance on emotional displays to achieve desired outcomes.
07:00🧠 Emotions are not always reactions to others' actions; they are often strategically used to influence behaviors.
10:31🔧 Recognizing that emotions can precede actual actions allows addressing underlying issues in communication and skills.
13:04🌱 Inability to communicate effectively can lead to using emotions as a substitute, affecting both personal and professional relationships.
16:25📉 Constant negativity towards work may be an unconscious strategy to avoid additional responsibilities.
19:12👥 Constantly giving attention to negative emotions can reinforce unwanted behaviors instead of promoting effective communication.
Another one that is very common in large environments: People default to large negative emotions when they feel marginalized or attacked. Leila is an awesome boss so I am sure she would have trouble relating to this, but there are lots of toxic middle managers out there who only care about advancing their own careers, bonuses, and paychecks. They will politically maneuver however they must to win over favor and get ahead. These are the people who are not above making allegiances with enemies, making false promises about career progression, dividing and conquering to control communication/influence/information, or duplicating roles they find problematic with someone aligned to their agenda.
When someone becomes a victim of said behavior, feels like their job has been stolen, etc.: They will defensively respond with large emotions. People leverage anger when they feel no other options are left and their personal agency has been removed. The human brain never reacts well to feeling trapped.
The emotional response has fully blown my mind.
It was so useful and I'm very happy that i met this video ❤ It shows that emotions are often use to get something from someone and don't let them to control your decisions🎉
Thank you for being the adult that a lot of us never had.
100%. This took me too many years to understand! Thank you for breaking it down so simply.
Wow this is such great information! I’m a very emotional person, but aware enough not to show it to the best of my ability in those moments. However, I struggle with overriding those emotions in the moment to actually verbalize and communicate effectively. I go quiet, aloof , and retreat within myself instead and don’t know how to change that. It’s hard to think through your emotions in the moment, but easy to reflect back on the situation to see where I went wrong. Constant struggle. I don’t want to be manipulating people with my emotions, but communicating is a skill I need to learn still.
This is so good and you’re so brilliant! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you! Very useful advices. It even has constructive ways forward on how to handle these problems.
Leila~ thank you!!! Exactly what I needed to hear~ yesterday I was feeling emotional and unsure where it was coming from~ now I know it could be my frustration with not knowing 🤪🤣😂!!! Seriously though~ I’m keeping the faith and trusting the process~ this is so apropos. ❤💎🌻🦋🌈
the bf gf analogy made a lot of sense. if we get rewarded for showing emotions instead of calming communicating, that is what we subconsciously think that is the way to to communicate.
Very helpful and i go through this with relatives. At work ive been good however as regular emoloyee. In terms of a leader, this is useful but found out what ive done for avoidant bfs is the same so im more prepared than i thought lol. Thanks for detailed examples like with the zoom prompts, type of questions to pull info etc. its more applicable when detailed like what you give than others on RUclips. Thanks again. Ive watched 3 videos in two days already
Thank you. This is just on time as I was wondering if I'd get rid of a friend that keeps defaulting to anger whenever you reproach her something, and that is at almost every conversation which is too much. In the end I always fold as she escalates. Like, why should i keep anger around me? But instead, thanks to this video, I can learn to regulate her. I believe now that relationships are not made to get rid of (unless toxic) but to learn new skills. Please, continue those behavioral topics.
I have actually been using your advice with my kids 😂 You are literally helping me become a better parent. I just substitute employee with kid.
Wow, this was so insightful. Thanks Leila, appreciate your maturity and sharing.
This is amazing content, thank you so much Leila
Hey Leila and Team, This was the best pieces on comunication, that I have ever seen. Please expand on this.
Thank you so much Leila, this was very useful, please keep sharing content like that, super useful and format with examples is super easy to digest.
I would open conversations with my mom and she would rage in my face . It wasn't until mannny years later, it was to shut the conversation down and go away.
Another was controlling me with shame. Instead of going there of a berated child, I walked away without a reaction. I could feel the " why is this not working from her.
Its not always true that displaying emotion is to manipulate, sometimes its overwhelming and its just pours out and in those situations i gtg somewhere and cry alone. I dont relate so much with people who have so much self control they can save crying for later. For me if i feel it and its too strong ill cry or have a panic attack. It takes a lot of practice to not let how you feel take over. Showing how you feel isnt a bad thing, just dont cause drama with it or make you make decisions that deviate from your values
Also its not fair to put the whole responsibility on the emotional person, they didnt out right say, too much work is making me cry so take some of my work load. Its actually the other person feeling guilty or compassion and wanting to help them…no ones forcing them to so they are responsible for how much they help. They could instead just say shit yeah its a lot of work (acknowledge their feelings) and say but you can do it, push yourself. And if they cant then maybe theyre not at the experience level the company needs and needs to be let go so they can find somewhere else to work where they can still grow but its not out of their abilities
Yes 🙌🏾
Leila this is amazing content and can be used in various settings. You are an inspiration to all women. Thank you for sharing your skills and expertise ❤
Woaah!! I kind of knew this in back
Of my head! But sometimes we do get manipulated emotionally, thnku for the reminder & u actually explained it really well ❤
Thank you for this video!! This is exactly the top I needed to hear as a parent. This info will help in every aspect of my life
Leila, do you have cameras in my apartment? lol…not being seen with the chores scenario.😂❤ Thank you for being a guide for us to keep our cool 😎
Ur take on human psychology is so thorough and spot-on
What Leila is trying to say is that instead of being emotional, indulging in other people's emotions be a better communicator.
Also, encourage people around you to become a better communicator. Most people have a cribbing mentality and have not grown up.
It's okay to have emotions, but the trick is to recognize them and communicate....
Combining awareness around emotions, asking questions as to why you are having those emotions and then communicating and seeking help or gain knowledge are the only ways to develop a healthy relationship with yourself and with those around you, either in your family, teams, relationships, or friend circles.
Awesome video, thanks Leila!! I’d be interested to hear more about how Leila learned to articulate herself better 😊
Excellent notes. I was able to identify my negative emotional behaviors as well as...other person's. I'll be sharing.
Consistently valuable content. Thank you!
Thank you this was very blessed 🙏🏽 God bless
This hits me really hard ❤ thank you for sharing
Damn! This is such a great topic! Beautifully explained. You are just one of a kind Leila. An absolute gem of a person. Keep it coming with such great advice. Looks like I am guilty of some of these issues and need to improve.
@RealLeilaHormozi No. Quit creating fake acounts for attention. Jeeez!
We would really love more of these videos. Thank you for sharing and reflecting on the examples
It was when I was so hearbroken with my long term partner, we went to a couples therapy. The first thing we got asked was 'How did your parents handle conflict?'.... mindblown
I needed this video, thank you so much!! ❤
Your are describing survival behavior, to use words, we need to have a regulated nervous system!
This is so good! Thanks for breaking this down.