I bet that guy is icing his knuckles regretting he ever met you 😂 "I blocked every punch with my face. The best part of getting whooped, it feels so good when they stop." 😆
@@godemperorletoatreidesii6971 MY knuckle is still fucked from an ass whooping I gave someone 15 years ago. His face healed up fine within 2 weeks. I'd say your statement is a true one.
callen is a legit street fighter. joe’s just insecure so he has to bully bryan about that stuff. another comedian talks about watching bryan and his buddy clear out a whole bar and joe looks like he just shit himself.
@danielm7435 it was a meme going around a few years ago. "A CNN reporter, while interviewing a marine sniper asked. "What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist"? The marine shrugged and replied "recoil".
The guy who this quote is attributed to is the Finnish sniper Simo Häyhä aka The White Death, who is attributed as the deadliest sniper in history with over 505 confirmed kills, except he wasn’t fighting terrorists because he was fighting in the Finnish winter war of 1939-40, but nice try tho bud
@@owenschwartz5981 there was a sniper in Iraq or Afghanistan who used Simo's line that everyone misatrributes the quote to because it's so much more recent . You're right about Simo but I don't think the original commenter was trying to pull a "gotcha" moment. No need for the "nice try bro" in a RUclips comment section lol
I had asked this guy to make a call on his phone as I had locked mine in my car and noticed the knuckles on his right hand were all bruised and cut up. I asked him what had happened and he said, " Some guy was trying to break into my house the other night so I let him in." Straight GANGSTER!!!
Yeah but it requires some one to say the phrase " where you from?" Personally I've never heard that before and I don't know why anyone would give a shit.
Lmfao 😆 I didn't realize he was in this clip. Hahaha 🤣 He might of just been having some synapses misfiring as he was attempting to; recall the past -OR- think of something clever -OR!- remembering all those times he got his ass beat and met the dude halfway.
My dad was in the USAF; I asked if he ever killed anyone when I was in the 4th grade and his response was "I sure hope so". He was definitely not allowed at career day after that response. lol
He honestly got me with a solid shot on the collarbone.. but then after a few lefts he didn't wanna play anymore, so he took a nap on the sidewalk 😵😴🤣🤣
Hey just for future story telling.. it’s best if you use someone else as the “bad ass” in the story and then self deprecate yourself. It makes people more at ease and not think that you’re being arrogant. But good one liner
How about the viral clip of the dude with a ponytail, and his shirt tucked into his blue jeans where he was getting into it with a guy at the gas station and he really said "there aint nothing between us but air and opportunity.. *huge inhale*.. and I just took the air." 🤣🤣
I remember Rob Van Damme did that one in WWE when one of the boys tried to be a bully. RVD walked up and told him to "Pick a hand" And when asked why RVD replied, "Cause that's the hand I'm going to hit you with."
Great episode, as they all are. But my favorite thing about it is when he looks and Brendan Schuab and goes "you disrespect me I will kill you right here". Brendan isn't a great UFC fighter by any means, never would have held a belt, definitely a journeyman, would have absolutely mopped the floor with Callen in 30 seconds 🤦🏼♂️😂
Y’all can’t think for yourselves yiu just hear “some dude bad” and hate everything he does. In reality, no one’s perfect, not even Joe. The thing this guy does has wasn’t shown here as here literally just said things he’s heard from other ppl to add to a topic. Ppl don’t even listen to what anyone says anymore just who says it.
@lumas69 never my whole life in any fight I've been in or any fight I've ever seen in person or on the internet have I ever heard some one lead off with "where you from?"
@@jackal1115 So basically if you DONT fight, you're afraid, but if you DONT fight, you ALSO have common sense? So if you DO fight, then you ARENT afraid, but you lack common sense? Real talk if I was mad enough to tell someone to "get the fuck up, we're doing this." And someone told me "Dont let fear or common sense stop you." I'd just pop them in the mouth and say "Ok" lol.
I'm kinda failing to see how this would he used. Let's try it out.. "You wanna go!?" Dont let fear or common sense stop you. "You got a problem with me?!" Dont let fear or common sense stop you. "Fuck you we're fighting" Dont let fear or common sense stop you... OK so the last one kinda works. But OBVIOUSLY the guy isn't afraid if he's coming st you like this, so I don't see how that would even work.
It just derails people like if you see a dog fixated and clap to break their attention. Once had a guy square up and threaten to punch me out of no where, so I said it aint me that's really bothering you but if you wanna talk about it i'll listen. so he sat down and he talked about it we shuck hands after and he went about his day. Always been proud that one.
@@sowts5157 I'll admit, I like all the cool lines and macho comments, even the jokes, but your comment of how you've dealt with that specific situation just....made me stop...whatever I was doing simultaneously, pressed reply and started thinking. That was about 15 min ago...I can only say I wish most people would do that and it may be a cliché but the world would be a better place. I've seen so many senseless fights, arguing, literally ending in deaths or breaking off friendships, families or person's spirit. And you *should* be proud. I hope everyone around you, even that guy, is proud.
Best one I heard- in college met a guy who at that pt had the most Sniper kills in military ca. 2000- I was an all American sprinter and football athlete w/ a serious case of the wiggles. So I basically thought I was hot shit and asked, “well I’m kinda fast, you think I might be able to get away?- His Ivan Drago-esque response- “you’d just die tired.”
My grandpa once spoke about the Korean war and how he had to fight men with bayonets. He said an enemy soldier ran at him and screamed "You die GI!". I asked him what happened next and all he said was, "I'm still here, aren't I?".
I'm surprised he found a Korean in the 1950s that could speak English with a pronoun. People who could speak English would have been high-ranking officers and not in the field.
These two clowns walked up to my buddy and were asking him what set he banged. His responses. Your head on this concrete floor that what I bang😂😂😂😂 just blew me away. Dudes stepped tf off
I like one Nausicaan on Star Trek Next Generation. Picard says "Do you have any enemies?"... and he says "None of consequence... I've killed all of them that mattered."
My favorite line is, “I’m no badass, but you’ll feel me in the morning.” That line has prevented every fight I could have had since I started using it.
@Rodney Zirrillo only thing is in a fight someone might respect you for saying it. In the bedroom, well she might just pick up her close and leave after 2 mins
@@focusobjectives haha that's so fucking awesome lol 😂😭🤣 I feel a little bad she prob got made fun of a lot but I think it's a pretty dope name lol 🤷🏻♂️ like I kinda wish that could be my name haha. I feel like it's an easy way to get new friends wherever you go because it's just one of those things that'll get you lots of attention. And most people just gonna think it's funny and everyone gonna know you and tell everyone else they know you lol. Id rock tf outta that name 💯🔥👌 and I can go to supper professional places like a business meeting or court or something and tell people fuck you 😎🤣💀 I'd pretend to have an accent and talk in the 3rd person all the time. "Hey can someone help with this?.. yeah fuck you will help! 🖕" 🤣 I love it lol
My friends grandpa was a crazy street guy back in his day and also served in Vietnam. I once asked him how many people has he killed and he responded “In Vietnam or New York?” Lol
I've met a guy that was special forces in a bar once, was talking to him with my buddy who drunkenly asked "how many people have you killed?" And he replied with "more than you". Some of the coldest shit I've ever heard in person
I saw one of my coworkers go after the company mechanic with a hammer. Mechanic said “You better hope that hammers made of chocolate, because I’m going to make you eat that mother fucker! Best line ever!!!!
My friend is a member of a motor cycle club and one night at a party he started having a reaction to something he ate. Well they called his mother who was a nurse after they called an ambulance. His mother gets there and some idiot decides he going to play doorman. He looks at my friend's mother (Who was not one to put up with BS from anyone and could handle her shit) as she is walking in the door and says, "Who the fuck are you." Without even breaking her stride she says, "I'm God, move." One of the club members grabs the guy and pulls him away before she killed him. I'm a near seven foot shaved gorilla and she scares the hell out of me. Whether idiot was brave or stupid, I leave up to you.
I dated this girl in high school, she went to school at our cross town rival. I left her house one night and stop to get gas (on her side of town). This dude come up and said “are you so & so”? I said “no, I’m a good friend of his”! Dude: “you’ll do”! I learned that night you don’t offer info unless your specifically asked! Lol
That's funny. But I don't get the lesson: don’t offer info unless your specifically asked! The guy asked you specifically are you so and so? And why you just didn't tell him No, I am Chris Emerson?
TFATK had the coolest Navy Seal on years ago who told a story about a valet driver who wouldn’t park his car cause it was an old beat up land cruiser or something. Seal guy was like,”bro what? I’ve killed better men then you” That got damn line was incredible and I’ve never forgot it.
I remember seeing a post on AskReddit where somebody asked what the best one liner before a fight was. One of the answers was "You a preference on any specific hospital?"
Bro one of my friends from middle school days was checked by gang bangers and he was wearing a yellow shirt so he said "my homies call me sunshine what's up?" 😂
Dude pulled a knife on me at a gas station and my buddy came out the door calmly set his beer down and told dude he was gonna make him shit his fucking teeth if he didn't step back. I was impressed.
One time in Alaska I was at a gym playing basketball with a bunch of my Filipino friends some frat looking guys come in not asking but demanding we leave. Even after we offered we go half court so they can go half court. They were still not happy and aggressively rude. One of my buddies cuts them off and yells at the main guy in a thick Filipino accent “ Hey! U lookin for trouble?! My name is trouble! Come on!! ” Then stood in a fighting stance telling them to come on with his hands. It was so cheesy and amazing at the same time. Once he did that we were done being nice and stood behind him ready to back him up. And they left.
I worked in a restaurant when a drunk dude was harassing the waitresses and I said "Don't worry about it y'all. It's just some drunk." He said "Oh yeah? And what do you do?" I said "I work in the kitchen but sometimes I take out the trash." 🤣
When I was a kid, I asked my dad if he shot people in Vietnam. He just said, I shot though people, and then we just ate dinner in silence. He also shot through my Aunts house that lived next door, and shot though someone’s car when they showed up at the house to pick up a motorcycle, but didn’t have the money. So I never questioned him about shooting things again.
There’s a Mexican comedian who interviewed his now bodyguard. The comedian asked “Have you killed anyone?” Guy goes “well, it’s not like I went back to ask HEY YOU OKAY?” 😂😂😂 love that line
"Met him halfway"- I got my ass beat and was thinking about that line all night
I bet that guy is icing his knuckles regretting he ever met you 😂
"I blocked every punch with my face. The best part of getting whooped, it feels so good when they stop." 😆
I said you think that's bad?
You should see the other guys fists
Lmao
@@SuicideMike5150 you know your making a joke but sometimes the guy who won but broke his hand in the process actually feels like he lost for months
@@godemperorletoatreidesii6971 MY knuckle is still fucked from an ass whooping I gave someone 15 years ago. His face healed up fine within 2 weeks. I'd say your statement is a true one.
Callen finally allowed to talk about the cool things he hears from joe without being bullied 😂❤
You mean being brought back to reality?
@Joebama lol
What do you mean being bullied he talks tough guy all the time and thinks he can beat up everyone
callen is a legit street fighter. joe’s just insecure so he has to bully bryan about that stuff. another comedian talks about watching bryan and his buddy clear out a whole bar and joe looks like he just shit himself.
@@jedmorris9922 That’s Bryan’s bit lol, he sets people up for jokes. All that shit he does is a joke dude.
"That's my purse I don't know you!"
Legendary
Ahahahahaha now I have to go watch that and lmao for five minutes.
"You can put your head up my ass and fight for air."- Joe Dirt
@@thefeelcompany make sure it’s the clip of when Hank gets kicked
@@fluffybunnyz285 😂😂😂 “you left yourself open dad!” *pop pop*!!!!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
“What did you feel when you killed those terrorists?”
*”Recoil.”*
Is that from something?
@danielm7435 it was a meme going around a few years ago. "A CNN reporter, while interviewing a marine sniper asked. "What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist"? The marine shrugged and replied "recoil".
@@umwhatamIdoingherelol no.
That's the White Death that said that.
A finish Sniper from WWII who Killed over 500 Russians in 100 days.
@FNCMontragor well if that's true, it was turned into a meme without quoting who said it. Not surprising.
@@FNCMontragor That man is a legend. I never heard the story that he said that.
"I'm from right here! Right now!" I'm using that shit 🤣
You can use it but you can go ahead and get your ass whooped too
Very gay
Fr that’s my new morning Mirror pep talk🎃
😂😂🔥best one
@@pattypmusic2487 genius
My favourite was the sniper when asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist and he just answered
"Recoil"
The guy who this quote is attributed to is the Finnish sniper Simo Häyhä aka The White Death, who is attributed as the deadliest sniper in history with over 505 confirmed kills, except he wasn’t fighting terrorists because he was fighting in the Finnish winter war of 1939-40, but nice try tho bud
Like that wwii vet when asked what it was like killing people in war he said i didn't kill people i killed fascists. I think the same for commies
@@owenschwartz5981 there was a sniper in Iraq or Afghanistan who used Simo's line that everyone misatrributes the quote to because it's so much more recent . You're right about Simo but I don't think the original commenter was trying to pull a "gotcha" moment. No need for the "nice try bro" in a RUclips comment section lol
👉👌
@@owenschwartz5981 🤓 “nice try tho bud”
“What keeps you awake at night?” General Mattis - “Nothing, I keep people awake at night.”
Ghost's sit around campfires at night telling stories about General Mattis.
"Never stop to look brother" that's was epic
epic whoa so epic omg epic
The Great Chael Sonnen once said ( send anybody you want but don't send anybody you want back) lol
That’s a good one
When you're the greatest fighter in the world they got a name for you. They don't call you the greatest fighter. They call you Chael Sonnen
Dude is probably the funniest fighter ever man never misses 😂
He's the irl mortal Kombat character Johnny cage
“I can’t let you get close”
I had asked this guy to make a call on his phone as I had locked mine in my car and noticed the knuckles on his right hand were all bruised and cut up. I asked him what had happened and he said, " Some guy was trying to break into my house the other night so I let him in." Straight GANGSTER!!!
Now that's awesome!
RUclips is asking reviews on your comment, you good man?
@@therichchronicles1249 I'm good. Should I be worried?
@@67woozy nah but the face of the burglar should have been worried.
Boom 💥
One Marine I knew worked in a hospital, he left an unruly patients room and said, "I've killed better men."
Damn that's some gnarly disrespect right there.
One forward scout marine buddy of mine said to me once ‘there’s nothing like saying Fuck You with a bomb’
That’s cringey
@@josephfischer7623 Nah, that's the words of a man who knows the value of life, and knows an asshole when he meets one.
🧢🧢🧢🧢 that never happened
"I'm from right here, right now" are the best fighting words I've ever heard
You've never been in a fight have you? 🤣
Yeah but it requires some one to say the phrase " where you from?" Personally I've never heard that before and I don't know why anyone would give a shit.
@@stevelynn7302 I've probably been in more fights than you've seen in your life. Only about 4 of which I started.
@@jackal1115 it doesn't work in my language. But fights here or any altercation with a stranger usually involves those words "Where are you from?"
It just cuts through the BS right away!
This is basically Brian Callen having a conversation with himself about stuff that never happened
Dude if you knew how many guys I knocked out you’d be surprised
🎃should’ve put quotes on it
@@Cash4gold84 "Aidan" you're like 5'8 bro chill
@@Cash4gold84 after taking a peep at your youtube channel and saved playlists i can confirm you haven’t knocked anyone out even accidentally.
That's basically anytime he gets in front of a recording device lmao
The craziest thing about this video is that Brendan didn't interrupt once
Yes, but he felt the need to up stage
They clearly edited all that out. So many quick jump cuts.
Lmfao 😆 I didn't realize he was in this clip. Hahaha 🤣 He might of just been having some synapses misfiring as he was attempting to; recall the past -OR- think of something clever -OR!- remembering all those times he got his ass beat and met the dude halfway.
"Fuck you! That's my name," is a line from Glengarry Glen Ross.
No but the badass guy in a bar said it cooler!!1!
Mickey milkovich from shameless 😂
Something about the delivery of “fuck you’s my name” really got me 😂😂
I wish I had the stature and skill to attempt that shit 😂💀 that was hilarious
"Never stopped too look, brother"
Damn bro that's some serious movie line shit. Those Delta boys are about that business
that's the Right Attitude!
'if he dies, he dies'.
don't start none, won't BE None.
@@diligentsun1154 If CAG is coming after you then whoever it is will not be around much longer.
Like when a sniper was asked what he felt when he shot an enemy. He replied, "Recoil."
Cringe
@@Aria432 might be just you
“One of my buddy’s who loves to fight”
Ok Brian 😂😂
He tries do hard to be cool.
Or the other dork "I've seen him get out and.... do business"
@@jackjack4412
Please, you're making my skin crawl. Why do people talk like this?
@@Alidwee1 it's normal when people are talking about stuff they don't actually know about.
"Fuck you, thats my name" is in fact a movie quote from Glengarry Glen Ross
arguing with my older brother once i said “you act like somebody is scared of you” & he said “you aint gotta be scared to get your ass whooped” 😂😂
My dad was in the USAF; I asked if he ever killed anyone when I was in the 4th grade and his response was "I sure hope so". He was definitely not allowed at career day after that response. lol
ok
I laughed out loud at this! Thanks
Respect to your pops!
@@SeanAdams1Same! I would hope the same fighting for the government.
My Grandpa was in WW2 and told us the same thing lol.
The whole time Callen was talking , I was just waiting on a Will Sasso , “oh Shut up Brian” 😂
what are you gonna do?
use some of that... boxing, youve been doing?
Conversation strangler steven?
Bit killer jones?
Mayor of see ya latersville?
Once had a guy yell at me "do you think I'm scared of you?" I responded with "do you think being brave will keep you from getting an ass whoopin'? Lol
Did this line go through your head, like the right hook that you just woke up in the hospital from?
He honestly got me with a solid shot on the collarbone.. but then after a few lefts he didn't wanna play anymore, so he took a nap on the sidewalk 😵😴🤣🤣
Hey just for future story telling.. it’s best if you use someone else as the “bad ass” in the story and then self deprecate yourself. It makes people more at ease and not think that you’re being arrogant. But good one liner
@@psychopompous3207 nothing ever happens, right?
Touch grass dude.
ohhh Matt. you're so dreamy!
How about the viral clip of the dude with a ponytail, and his shirt tucked into his blue jeans where he was getting into it with a guy at the gas station and he really said "there aint nothing between us but air and opportunity.. *huge inhale*.. and I just took the air." 🤣🤣
What?!?! Noooo that’s hilarious!!
Damn bro that's straight gangster lol. Basically forces them to swing on you or they look like they aren't about it.
that is hilariousssssss
That's an old line
I think the Rock used that line in Hobbs n Shaw
We all dream of the moment we can brush our gunslinger Stache and reply with an “I’m your huckleberry.”
"Why, Johnny Ringo.. you look like somebody just walked over your grave.."
Val Kilmer is a LEGEND in that film! lol
“You can pick the hand I beat the fuck out of you with” - Shawn Thornton
I remember Rob Van Damme did that one in WWE when one of the boys tried to be a bully. RVD walked up and told him to "Pick a hand" And when asked why RVD replied, "Cause that's the hand I'm going to hit you with."
"If you wanna throw down in fist to cuffs, fine. I got jack Johnson and Tom o'leary waiting for you, right here"
Tf are these comebacks 🤓
@@timothyclark1754 and he’s waiting for you to finish a paragraph?
@@timothyclark1754you're gonna get yourself killed if you ever try to fight
Somewhere in the pacific in WWII, a certain Halsey responded with "32 knots" when asked what he was doing in a minefield
That's great lol
The # of people who will actually understand the reality of this comment: ……….. slim to none but GREAT AF response Halsey
@@bohemianbookworm9361 can you explain?
@@XA-lm5oz I would like to know too lol
@@XA-lm5oz "32 knots" is the speed he was sailing trough the mine field, not giving a care about it
Best I heard was " Are you gonna use some of that boxing you've been doing?"
Some of that.... "Boxing" you've been doing?
😂😂😂😂 That was 1000% savage!
“You look bad, man.”
Line... Who gave yah that shiner? "Nobody gave it to me son I fought for it"
Dangggg! I feel that.
Imagine listening to Bryan callen talk and thinking, yeah that true
Huh so these are the people Joe talks about when he says people let Callen talk crazy lol
Probably, yea lmfao
Great episode, as they all are. But my favorite thing about it is when he looks and Brendan Schuab and goes "you disrespect me I will kill you right here". Brendan isn't a great UFC fighter by any means, never would have held a belt, definitely a journeyman, would have absolutely mopped the floor with Callen in 30 seconds 🤦🏼♂️😂
Totz
@@codybrown1826 a heavyweight ufc fighter at that. Callens like 160 pounds Brendan would eat him alive.
@@codybrown1826 wow good job pointing out the obvious
"Hey, what's your name?!"
"Catchphrase"
"Huh?"
Pulls out shotgun
😂😂😂😂
Americuahhhh f-- yeah!!!
Told my neighbor that I would come over there and kick his ass! His response. “Come on over here I’ll pay your way back”
Imagine Rogan and Schuab listening to this conversation.
Schaubs there 🤔
Schaub’s right there, dummy.
They have the same fake lie conversations with eachother.
He didn’t say anything bad💀
Y’all can’t think for yourselves yiu just hear “some dude bad” and hate everything he does. In reality, no one’s perfect, not even Joe. The thing this guy does has wasn’t shown here as here literally just said things he’s heard from other ppl to add to a topic. Ppl don’t even listen to what anyone says anymore just who says it.
“I’m from right here, right now” just might be the coolest shit I’ve heard. That would’ve been such a great fight to see 🤣
But it's only cool if some one asks "where you from" and why would they ever ask that.
@@jackal1115you haven't been in very many situations have you
@lumas69 never my whole life in any fight I've been in or any fight I've ever seen in person or on the internet have I ever heard some one lead off with "where you from?"
My dad said when he was younger a guy wanted to fight him in a bar and he said “don’t let fear or common sense stop you” to the guy.
Puts em in a conundrum. That's a good one. Nobody wants to admit they're afraid. Nobody wants to admit they don't have any common sense.
@@jackal1115 So basically if you DONT fight, you're afraid, but if you DONT fight, you ALSO have common sense? So if you DO fight, then you ARENT afraid, but you lack common sense?
Real talk if I was mad enough to tell someone to "get the fuck up, we're doing this." And someone told me "Dont let fear or common sense stop you." I'd just pop them in the mouth and say "Ok" lol.
I'm kinda failing to see how this would he used. Let's try it out..
"You wanna go!?" Dont let fear or common sense stop you.
"You got a problem with me?!" Dont let fear or common sense stop you.
"Fuck you we're fighting" Dont let fear or common sense stop you...
OK so the last one kinda works. But OBVIOUSLY the guy isn't afraid if he's coming st you like this, so I don't see how that would even work.
It just derails people like if you see a dog fixated and clap to break their attention.
Once had a guy square up and threaten to punch me out of no where,
so I said it aint me that's really bothering you but if you wanna talk about it i'll listen.
so he sat down and he talked about it
we shuck hands after and he went about his day.
Always been proud that one.
@@sowts5157 I'll admit, I like all the cool lines and macho comments, even the jokes, but your comment of how you've dealt with that specific situation just....made me stop...whatever I was doing simultaneously, pressed reply and started thinking. That was about 15 min ago...I can only say I wish most people would do that and it may be a cliché but the world would be a better place. I've seen so many senseless fights, arguing, literally ending in deaths or breaking off friendships, families or person's spirit. And you *should* be proud. I hope everyone around you, even that guy, is proud.
"I aint bad, but bad don't fuck with me"
I love that right here right now line it’s beautiful 👌
"Where do you stand on terrorists?"
"The throat usually does the trick."
I like Kado's "right here right now" 😆
Brian talking like he is hard is so funny
well hes acting lol hea doing impersonations
Best one I heard- in college met a guy who at that pt had the most Sniper kills in military ca. 2000- I was an all American sprinter and football athlete w/ a serious case of the wiggles. So I basically thought I was hot shit and asked, “well I’m kinda fast, you think I might be able to get away?- His Ivan Drago-esque response- “you’d just die tired.”
Screenwriters: write that down!
Damn lmao. Exhausted is the way you'd go out. Ouch
“I dont talk, i just dance” 👊🏻
My grandpa once spoke about the Korean war and how he had to fight men with bayonets. He said an enemy soldier ran at him and screamed "You die GI!". I asked him what happened next and all he said was, "I'm still here, aren't I?".
I'm surprised he found a Korean in the 1950s that could speak English with a pronoun. People who could speak English would have been high-ranking officers and not in the field.
These two clowns walked up to my buddy and were asking him what set he banged. His responses. Your head on this concrete floor that what I bang😂😂😂😂 just blew me away. Dudes stepped tf off
That’s mid as fuck
I had a coworker that ones yelled “Idk who tf you think you talking to but you found the right one” lmao savage
I like one Nausicaan on Star Trek Next Generation. Picard says "Do you have any enemies?"... and he says "None of consequence... I've killed all of them that mattered."
These type of lines make me want to grow a beard, go live in the mountains and fight bears recreationally
"I ain't the toughest guy in the world but if you fight me you gonna know you got into a fight."
Yeah I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but if you throw me into a pool, I’m getting wet. You can take that info and run with it.
@@lionsatmidnight Fuck 😂 I can’t top that response
I was waiting for Chris Delia to come out of nowhere and yell, “OOOOOPS!” when Brian started talking. Sadly he did not.
I'm from Right Here! Right Now! Jas got to be seen as GOAT level response!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
My favorite line is, “I’m no badass, but you’ll feel me in the morning.” That line has prevented every fight I could have had since I started using it.
That’s kind of gay, not gonna lie 😂😂😂
Sounds like no one has tried to fight you 😂 if I heard that I’d chin you then and there for fraud ..
Callen always gotta one up the person. Perfect clip if you let him finish the punch line and end it
"You want a piece of me, but the problem for you is that you're going to get ALL of me, and you ain't gonna be able to handle it..." - Me 💯
You can use this on enemies AND lovers lol
@Rodney Zirrillo only thing is in a fight someone might respect you for saying it. In the bedroom, well she might just pick up her close and leave after 2 mins
@@timothyclark1754shidddd 2 minutes all I'm giving her 🤷🏽♂️😎
Got called Goldilocks in a fight. I have curly blonde hair. 😂
Did you win?
@@rodneyzirrillo5961 no. I won.
10/10 Callen has never been in a fight
“He just gets out of a car, grabs a brick-“ like what kinda man is he?
A man of action.
Imaginary.
@@matthewmarkle1839 9 day old comment and you beat me to the reply by 3 minutes. 🤣
Just before I throw the first punch I go,
“My names Penelope and I’m soooo cool!”
The cop who suplexed the dude who attacked him: "WRONG MOVE BROTHER, YOU LOSE!"
I wonder if there's an Asian dude out there named phuk yu who keeps getting into fights whenever he meets people?.. 🤔
I also GPS’d “RitehearRynow”
My mom went to school with a girl named yu phuc in Cleveland Ohio area 1970s
@@focusobjectives haha that's so fucking awesome lol 😂😭🤣 I feel a little bad she prob got made fun of a lot but I think it's a pretty dope name lol 🤷🏻♂️ like I kinda wish that could be my name haha. I feel like it's an easy way to get new friends wherever you go because it's just one of those things that'll get you lots of attention. And most people just gonna think it's funny and everyone gonna know you and tell everyone else they know you lol. Id rock tf outta that name 💯🔥👌 and I can go to supper professional places like a business meeting or court or something and tell people fuck you 😎🤣💀 I'd pretend to have an accent and talk in the 3rd person all the time. "Hey can someone help with this?.. yeah fuck you will help! 🖕" 🤣 I love it lol
"Never stopped to look" most savage quote ever
“Instantly uses a weapon” he’s hard
My friends grandpa was a crazy street guy back in his day and also served in Vietnam. I once asked him how many people has he killed and he responded “In Vietnam or New York?” Lol
Brian feels tall when he talks about fighting. Sit down Smurf boy.
You and Brian have a lot more in common than you think lol
@@hyeboilol
@@hyeboi pulled his card Lance van dance
All those are definitely top notch movie lines 🤣
Some of the best one liners I’ve ever heard came from old folks living in small Australian rural towns.
I've met a guy that was special forces in a bar once, was talking to him with my buddy who drunkenly asked "how many people have you killed?" And he replied with "more than you". Some of the coldest shit I've ever heard in person
I went to meet a dude halfway and he pulled bear mace out😂
“Fuck you is my name” 🤘🏻😂💀
“Where you from”
My homie *Shnapz* - “im from whoever tf you beefin with was crackin”
“Oh 😳👀”
“I’m from right here, right now.” Kedo
Who is Kedo?
I love it when tiny little guys talk about actual men getting in fights.
Found this quote below from "Rulon:"
"B.I.G Never did spell Bad."
-A Smol Dude ;)
That one sniper they asked
"Do you feel anything when you kill somebody?"
And the sniper goes
"Recoil."
“Never stopped to look” is a good way to get shot in the back
2 things that have never come to mind listening to Callen speak.
1) That's funny
2) I bet that really happened
Every one of those was pretty fire lol
I saw one of my coworkers go after the company mechanic with a hammer. Mechanic said “You better hope that hammers made of chocolate, because I’m going to make you eat that mother fucker! Best line ever!!!!
Best one liner “you want support, buy a bra” - my dad
My friend is a member of a motor cycle club and one night at a party he started having a reaction to something he ate. Well they called his mother who was a nurse after they called an ambulance. His mother gets there and some idiot decides he going to play doorman. He looks at my friend's mother (Who was not one to put up with BS from anyone and could handle her shit) as she is walking in the door and says, "Who the fuck are you." Without even breaking her stride she says, "I'm God, move." One of the club members grabs the guy and pulls him away before she killed him. I'm a near seven foot shaved gorilla and she scares the hell out of me. Whether idiot was brave or stupid, I leave up to you.
Guy in jail asked what my shoe size was, I told him "Your size." And stepped into his face. We became friends after that.
He made you walk like C3PO after that night huh
@@thunderbear4254
That is so beautifully creative lol… probably true too…
I’ll take never fuckin happened for $1000 jerry!
Alright “Tim Gunther”. Honestly I believe you bro, sounds like you got that inbred strength. 💪
@@skxlk2817 inbred strength 😂
Love the one upper guy. No matter what you say he has a better story…those guys are great
"Never stopped to look, brother" Cold as fuckin ice bro
“Fuck you, that’s my name!” Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross
I dated this girl in high school, she went to school at our cross town rival. I left her house one night and stop to get gas (on her side of town). This dude come up and said “are you so & so”? I said “no, I’m a good friend of his”! Dude: “you’ll do”! I learned that night you don’t offer info unless your specifically asked! Lol
I don't follow lol
@@Ggg-nv5ly the guy attacked him because he was associated with the person he originally wanted to fight
That's funny. But I don't get the lesson: don’t offer info unless your specifically asked! The guy asked you specifically are you so and so? And why you just didn't tell him No, I am Chris Emerson?
"Come at me scrublord, I'm ripped."
That made me laugh
TFATK had the coolest Navy Seal on years ago who told a story about a valet driver who wouldn’t park his car cause it was an old beat up land cruiser or something.
Seal guy was like,”bro what? I’ve killed better men then you”
That got damn line was incredible and I’ve never forgot it.
I remember seeing a post on AskReddit where somebody asked what the best one liner before a fight was. One of the answers was "You a preference on any specific hospital?"
Bro one of my friends from middle school days was checked by gang bangers and he was wearing a yellow shirt so he said "my homies call me sunshine what's up?" 😂
Dude pulled a knife on me at a gas station and my buddy came out the door calmly set his beer down and told dude he was gonna make him shit his fucking teeth if he didn't step back. I was impressed.
These were all more badass than the last.
these are the type of guys to fantasize these scenarios in the shower every morning.
One time in Alaska I was at a gym playing basketball with a bunch of my Filipino friends some frat looking guys come in not asking but demanding we leave. Even after we offered we go half court so they can go half court. They were still not happy and aggressively rude. One of my buddies cuts them off and yells at the main guy in a thick Filipino accent “ Hey! U lookin for trouble?! My name is trouble! Come on!! ” Then stood in a fighting stance telling them to come on with his hands. It was so cheesy and amazing at the same time. Once he did that we were done being nice and stood behind him ready to back him up. And they left.
Aye the Philippinos get down, they funny as fuck when they try to be serious, but that machete game next level
Frat mfers are the worst sometimes.
I like to imagine you guys all posing behind him like Team Rocket.
"never stopped to look" is something my dad told me a lot as a kid
"Dad have you seen the remote?"
"Never stopped to look son, never stop to looked..."
Brendan said fuck you is my name 100% lol
Douche chills the whole time
EXACTLY
I worked in a restaurant when a drunk dude was harassing the waitresses and I said "Don't worry about it y'all. It's just some drunk." He said "Oh yeah? And what do you do?" I said "I work in the kitchen but sometimes I take out the trash." 🤣
Bryan tried so very hard to be funny and appear tough but fails incredibly at both.
Trust me bro guys like him they get smoked quickly.
When I was a kid, I asked my dad if he shot people in Vietnam. He just said, I shot though people, and then we just ate dinner in silence. He also shot through my Aunts house that lived next door, and shot though someone’s car when they showed up at the house to pick up a motorcycle, but didn’t have the money. So I never questioned him about shooting things again.
"When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk!"
Best one by far is, B.I.G. Never did spell Bad.
There's a comment above that needs this as a reply, I'll credit you. -A Smol Dude ;)
@@treversole9956 yes credit me cause I’ve been hearing that my whole life .
When I was a little boy I asked my grandfather if he killed anyone when he was in World War II. He said I never checked any of their pulses
There’s a Mexican comedian who interviewed his now bodyguard. The comedian asked “Have you killed anyone?” Guy goes “well, it’s not like I went back to ask HEY YOU OKAY?”
😂😂😂 love that line