Former Secret Service agent shares tips on how to read people
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- Опубликовано: 8 май 2024
- Evy Poumpouras is a former Secret Service agent who protected presidents and worked as an interrogator. She joins TODAY to talk about her process for reading different types of people by paying attention to body language and various verbal cues.
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#secretservice #bodylanguage #todayshow
“I’m gonna go home and judge my family” hahahaha she’s the realest
She wasnt lying
She protected people lol.
And?
TIMESTAMP
I used to listen to this type of thing all the time, I now realize these are the signs of someone who is hyperaware and is focused on others a lot to see if they're judging them, lying etc. it's a lot of work that i no longer do. Instead i focus on my energy. Thanks for the video. Wouldn't have realized I've actually grown from that past Baban if I didn't click on this video
Sho right! I aint got time for this. Wayy to many other important things to tend to. Im not an investigator nor a detective 😂
Great job! Looks like you've evolved over the years into baban"deeper"rathore
yuppp
Exactly, agreed.
Insightful. ❤
Stress and discomfort isn't always deception. It can also be conflicted feelings like: anxiety to being pressured, guilt over "tattling", fear of not being believed, anxiety in high pressure situations improperly created by interrogator.
Yeah. I feel like in interrogation situations, it's a lose-lose. If someone is nervous, then it's like, "well what do they have to be nervous about if they're not hiding anything? They're clearly guilty." But if they are completely cool and calm, then it becomes, "Oh this person is obviously a psychopath because they have no emotions. Look at how calm and collected they are despite the situation that they're in! Something isn't right about that!"
Baseline!!!
Yup
Or the person had ptsd, anxiety, overload, they can’t concentrate etc
She explained that
Its easier to tell if someone is telling the truth. especially if you know their baseline. THIS. what a great reminder to listen and actually get to know your loved ones before assuming the worst
You can never know what someone is truly thinking or feeling. If the Secret Service is so great at mind reading then why have they missed threats before.
@@jvanek8512 This is in regards to interpersonal communication & her experience interrogating people - not spy ops, secret intelligence, social media, & everything else the government does to investigate domestic & terroristic threats.
Cute for the internet, so was Donald Trump lying? Was O.J.lying? Use it when it counts for something. She does not need to convince the public. Convince the courts during criminal cases. Lawyer caping
Right. It all comes down to listening well. ❤
Yeah, and unless I missed it, she didn't really explain how to get an accurate baseline if the person is lying to you from the get go.
Very interesting but some of us with ADHD fidget no matter what😂
Exactly. Which is why this advice is not that helpful
That's why she said she has to know your baseline first.
❤😂😂😂
That's where baseline questioning comes in.
@@LiuGondorthis right here. If a person always figets, then figetting isn't a sign they are lying
Random: The anchors are sitting too close together.
Agreed! I thought they were suppose to be further apart Good observation
100% they look like they’re on an economy row on a flight lol
Why does it bother u so much how close they sit next to each other? I haven't even noticed
@@tomtom8786 if you’re commenting then you did or perhaps you should pay attention. Tsk tsk……can’t be hypocrites on msm, what happened to sitting apart, 6 feet. My goodness they do look foolish
It has irked me ever since pandemic that they have the anchors sitting that close just to film a show. They should just sit on each other’s lap at this point …
She’s so smart it took 3 Today geniuses to interview her
😂😂😂
What if you just get anxious making eye contact with any conversation 😅 social anxiety
That's where the baseline questioning applies.
Her make up is gorgeous
She is a very attractive lady. 😍
Part of my job is business generation and I am better able to connect with, understand potential clients and steer that conversation by using what she’s talking about. Getting the person to talk, I call it active listening. The person I conversing with will provide words and phrases that stand out, avenues to take the conversation. It works everytime.
*every time
Beautiful segment! One of the main things I liked about it was that it was comprehensive and that they gave her time to explain the points.
They usually interrupt people. But they weren't going to interrupt this one!
Lol it's probably because she started off with the whole little warning about how people should talk less and listen more 😅 which was perfect. They were just immediately like 🤐🤐🤐
@@LindaC616That's because she is literally them, she is explaining what a reporter does.
@andhewonders "literally". Found the millennial ☝️
@@LindaC616 In the sense of I've been a fan of David Bowie since 1975 you are correct.
I used to play poker a lot. The best players are aware of these indicators during key hands, as well as other more 'poker related indicators' that something is amiss.
I once had a professor who told thee most vivid stories. Specifics, timelines, names, places… the whole nine. My gut told me he was lying, but I thought “I don’t know this man’s life, why should I suspect he’s lying to us?” … until one day he invited a guest speaker. That day, he shared another compelling tale (about her, ironically). She chuckled and said “He is lying, y’all. That did NOT happen. 😂 I would never even allow that to happen to me”….. I was like, I KNEW IT. You could feel suspicion permeate the room. Moral of the story: somebody’s “baseline” may be to lie. Trust your gut instead.
Some people just have a discerning spirit.
yes facts
People either have intuition or perception or they don’t. Studying a person may work fine if you are hiring someone but it’s basically common sense, which so many people don’t have.
Perhaps. But a lot of this is taught as well.
Everyone has the ability of intuition or perception. Some people either have a naturally higher level or they are more naturally inclined to rely on it. Learning and practicing how to effectively read people is simply the whetstone that sharpens the sword.
That's what it comes down to at the end
Well, actually the ability to really listen to the person. That is most important.
The fact that she asks them to expand there answer is what I do. When renting apartments my wife and I ask some open ended questions and wait for them to answer, and I always tell myself and my wife, we have 2 ears and 1 mouth we have to listen 2 times as much as we speak. Because the more time you give them, the more info you get on their personality.
Not only that but the more information they provide, the easier it is to catch them in a lie. Details are the death of any lie.
Exactly, I also say the same thing, but also add, we have 2 eyes so we have to stare more and two hands which you need to rub on them while they talk to get a better feel.
The Secret Service would make great premarital counselors they would discover your mate is liar before you do too late!
Omggg I just thought the same thing 😂
*counselors. They (to fix your run-on sentence)
@@alvallac2171 I'm sure ppl could've figured it out without your help.
I totally agree with this....they know everything...and they will keep our secrets to keep us safe! It's usually up to the other mate to read between the lines and figure out what's going on...
Show me someone that doesn’t lie. Also this is all worldly wisdom
Evy is amazing!
The hosts are so fun…love their laughter 😄
Very interesting!
Years ago, I worked as a main caregiver in a daycare.
We were told that we were never allowed to cross our arms.
The reasoning was because it made a person appear closed off, upset, rude, or incommunitive.
Honestly, it was none of the above for us.
It was/is simply comfortable.
Right, I actual cross my arms becuase it hides my chest and belly and it is comfortable. I also break eye contact constantly do to I am visualizing my story, doesn't mean I am lying LOL
Crossing your arms is acknowledged as a self-comforting/soothing posture - it has been misrepresented as standoffish.
I was in a meeting with my arms folded and the manager happily shouts out that was being closed. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Unfortunately labels get put on people by so called “experts”. Great comedy material and someone should make a spoof of this whole body language nonsense.
I view it as standoffish.
@@Jonathan2x6 everyone has their own experiences so when I see someone arms closed like that I perceive it as standoffish based on past experience even if it's not correct for that current situation. You're right body language experts are frauds.
I’m the biggest evy fan she saved my life with my toxic neighbours buy her book you will never regret the knowledge you get from this book it made me wiser . I’m so thankful to her .
What happened with your neighbor?
Do tell. What happened with you and your neighbors that she saved you?
@@JJ-kf4kc always watch your surroundings the people around you always know who’s around you especially when it involves security guards bullying you just because they have a friend who s a security guard never abuse authority position s . Evy was a security enforcement officer for a reason and her knowledge has helped me so did smile and wave . I use this often
*Evy
*fan. She (to fix your run-on sentence)
*neighbours. Buy (another run-on)
*book. You (another run-on)
*book. It (another run-on)
*wiser. I'm
*her.
@@alvallac2171I'm thinking that English isn't this person's first language.
You will be amazed how smart people are, and can pick up on secrets unsaid
I love Evy. Her book is amazing. I’ve learned so much from her.
DEI hire. A serious federal agent tasked to protect a president wouldn't dress that way.
You are a liar. You switched up your verb tenses😮.
This has happened to me 2 times now my experience if someone is not telling you the truth sometimes they will look down at the floor and will not be able to look you in your eyes. It is sad when someone you love cannot just be up front and honest with you.
*now. My (to fix your run-on sentence)
*experience: if
*truth, sometimes
*upfront
However, you need to know their baseline before coming to that conclusion. People with ADD often get distracted when looking at the person. It's easier to look off into space and only glance at the person they're conversing with. If the speaker's ADD is under control, this won't be nearly as pronounced as in someone who is struggling with it at the time.
This woman is so brilliant. Her book is one I can listen to on loop.❤
Agreed! I've listened to the audiobook version of it, 2x.....and I'm planning on listening to it again! I was able to find it at the public library.
Communication styles vary greatly among individuals. While some of the points she makes hold true to some extent for certain people, it’s essential to recognize that this isn’t universally applicable. Our interactions involve people from diverse backgrounds, cultures, and languages. Moreover, it’s a reality that some individuals possess a remarkable talent for fabricating stories in a manner that conceals their deception. Detecting their falsehoods can be quite challenging
Yes true, however, over time their REAL personality will come out. There's always a "tell."
Yay Evy's back!!
She’s so amazing! “She really is.” 🤣
This was actually really good,. Well worth the listen.
I learned profiling in military. Every person should learn the basics.
@@EricaLozano-yp1phMaybe they just pretended to believe you!
@NM-mc4
HA!!!!! Good one! 😂😂😂😂
@@JJ-kf4kc I can see right through people. Often I just go along with whatever someone's saying while I make a mental note about them. You have more power over the situation when they don't realize you're on to them.
@@NM-mc4rjcorrect! That’s one of the key principles of the Columbo technique, named after everyone’s favorite detective. When you appear naive and unthreatening, people put their guards down. They think they’re in control while you’re actually in the driver seat.
"Just one more thing"...as Columbo would say...
She is right.We need to listen more..We have two ears and one mouth for a reason😀
Stunning woman! Very interesting btw.
I highly recommend reading Malcolm Gladwell’s “Talking to Strangers”. This book provides excellent insights body language interpretation misconceptions and myths.
She's brilliant ❤
She listens well. That is the key.
Thank you for this video.🎉
Interesting. Thank you. Blessings to you.
I love EVY❤
I learned a lot of these from watching Judge Judy...
Do you think they could fit in more announcers and scooch em in on the sides, scooch right up tight, explain to me how that looks interestin?
Beeping at :45 and :49 had me thinking something was going off in my house 🤨
Same lol
Definitely downloading this👏👏
What a fantastically stunning woman!!
May the extraordinary happen in my life. I trust you God Almighty. Amen
Thanks for this
Good educators do this well too! We're magical...
Her book helped me after a breakup with a narcissistic con artist
OMG yes, they are the worst!!!
I need this!
I can't wait to read your book!
Intuition leads to key triggers which opens doors insight is very important
I read this book! SUPER interesting!!!! Read it!
Also if someone says "tremendous"
That was cool and so was she. As well as beautiful...
Excellent tips.
People who are neurodivergent fidget better known as 'stimming' and routinely break eye contact or don't make eye contact. ND people are a significant portion of the population, so make sure yoou are not judging someone with blanket ideals.
In many cultures it is offensive to make eye contact
Very Cool. Tells and verbal cues etc. Just be honest and nice.
Yes, if you're always honest, you won't have trouble remembering your lies.
There so much factor involved. I know someone who’s insecure and have anxiety but not bc they’re lying: so it’s not always black and white
Very true! I'm socially awkward and have social anxiety and show some nervous symptoms when talking to people. Not always, but I notice it sometimes.
*There are so many factors
*has anxiety, but (because "someone" is singular)
*because
*lying. So (to fix incorrect use of a colon)
*white.
Love her!
Wow so cool
Sometimes I can tell when people are lying if they can’t provide me enough details or when you try & ask probing questions to get more detailed information they either say something that doesn’t make sense or they get flustered and ask me “Why are you asking me so many questions?” When you’re making up a quick lie, your story sometimes gets lost because you’re trying to hard to make it make sense.
I say that all the time because most of the time I don’t like providing details because I don’t know if I trust who I’m giving the info to
*too hard
Details are the death of any lie! If a person cannot provide you enough details, odds are they are making something up and because it’s hard to keep track of a bunch of made up details, the story will be vague. Or they’ll give you enough details that they can’t keep track of it all and it makes it all the easier to catch them in a lie. So getting details will always be the best weapon against a liar.
But some people can ask that if they feel like you're being intrusive or it's none of your business. Doesn't mean that person is necessarily lying.
@@kelsiluluSame here
I love Evy 😊
Same
Another important point is to pay total attention to the signs your body is giving you, i.e., a queasy feeling in your stomach, getting the "heebie-jeebies," feeling disoriented, etc.
People also fidget when they are not interested in the conversation
Wow ,and she's gorgeous .communication skills must be amazing to .
I love this.
TED - What a great acronym!
Bad liars tell transparent falsehoods and then bully you into believing them. That’s easy to spot. A skilled liar tells you something that you’re already inclined to believe, tells you the truth knowing, and intending, that you won’t believe them, or tells you what you want to hear while telling somebody else something completely different. It’s not easy to detect a good liar. Some liars are compulsive liars. They lie all the time, even when it serves no purpose, almost as if they don’t want you to take them seriously. It’s a good way to hide the truth from you.
just real quick: i think you mean pathological liars. compulsive liars have reasons why they lie. but pathological liars will lie about everything, even inconsequential things, for simply no reason. they lie just to lie
@@3meleon I think that there's a compulsive component to it. I also think too, that if they establish themselves as untrustworthy, nobody will expect them to tell the truth, and that relieves them of some responsibility.
Love her, been watching her for years and listening to her podcasts. She is definitely a kickass chic. Go watch the podcast with her and ""women of impact'." With Tom Bailyu's wife.... Thank me later.
She’s stunning 😍
I don't know how to read lies, but she has stolen my hear! Just look at those eyes!!! ❤
Bruh, get a life. That wasn't the point of this...... SMH
Bruh, get a life. That wasnt the point of this...... SMH
She's gorgeous ❤️
Reading people can't be taught in my opinion. If you know, you know.
Exactly.
You can give general indicators of lying like this lady gave, but it's certainly a skill that not everyone has because there are plenty of exceptions. Like she said, they have to establish a baseline so you know them well enough. What is a sign of lying for one person isn't for another.
I love TED language 😂❤
awesome
Stress and discomfort for me comes from living in pain every day. It has nothing to do with deception.
It’s important to note that they are NOT psychologists or psychiatrists. Just a bunch of tips and ‘things to look out for’ rule book passed down to them. Plus, it makes for a great video.
She’s pretty 😍
Beautiful lady 😊
Great video!
She would surely know what I was thinking if we were face to face
I mean, I guess it makes sense if it makes sense at the time of each conversation, but I look down when I’m trying to think to limit distractions around me.
I’d like to know what they do if they catch someone lying. Do they call them out right away or just let them keep lying? I have caught ppl in lies before and it’s golden info as far as how I communicate with them going forward. But I don’t usually call them out.
Fascinating and I can't wait to get the book!
When someone is lying the blink constantly. You know who blinks like crazy when they talk.....that pastor guy Joel Olsteen.....have never seen anybody blink like thatcguy does when he speaks.
I was about to mention this. It means someone is nervous, but not necessarily lying. I recorded myself making a particular meal. I never make videos of myself. When I went back and watched it, I was blinking like crazy! I didn't realize as I was recording how much I blinked. I wasn't lying about the food, lol. I was just nervous being on video.
Omg 😂😂😂
😂😂wasnt lying about the food😂😂😂@zsuzsuspetals
Could also be dry eyes.
Then there's Russell Brand, who NEVER blinks. It's really off-putting. He's like a staring owl.
Some solid advice, especially regarding the verbal cues. However, it has been proven that evaluating truth from lies using physical affectations and tics is often not reliable and easily misread. Though the physical cues are exhibited by many people who are lying or being evasive, there are many people who display them as a matter of mood or having a naturally expressive or idiosyncratic personality. But, more significantly, is the phenomenon where innocent interviewees, with no reason to feel guilt or fear incrimination, just by virtue of being in a interrogative situation, become anxious, nervous and stressed. Those who have under or maladapted socio-communication skills especially exhibit this reaction. They see the dynamic as a confrontation or test. So, they often showcase many of the cues that can be perceived as evasive or lying but really it is their way of coping.
this is why she said you have to know the base line first. This is the most important fact.
That’s why it’s so important to first understand a person’s behavioral baseline. It helps you better understand the unique characteristics of the person you’re talking to. Not only that, a lot of experts are training people not to focus on deceptive vs nondeceptive. But on comfort vs discomfort. Because that’s all what body language and even a polygraph can really tell you. So if someone is displaying a cluster of discomfort indicators that followed a specific stimuli such as a specific question, that doesn’t always mean a person is being deceptive, it simply means the questioner needs to verify that specific area of concern a little more to determine what caused the stress signals to appear.
"Tune up Tuesday"
I would gladly tune up Dylan anytime:)
Love you all. Am one of them
this lady looks like a Barbie doll very well kept ,elegant and well mannered
What is the obnoxious beeping in the background
I think they were taking pics lol, it was distracting I agree
Omg, literally ran through my house thinking my smoke/carbon detector was going off.
@@jessicaatkins3173 Same here!! Couldn't even finish the rest of the video :/
There would be more viewers if they had her permanently on the show. That's no lie.
I get nervous a lot that don’t mean I’m lying I just have social anxiety
I want to see her do a breakdown on the movie The Negotiator.
What I would really like to know is what she is reading of the interviewers that are asking the questions.
Gorgeous girl,veey smart. ❤
Awesome info… what makeup is she wearing it’s gorgeous on her
eyes don't always mean something i have adhd and i zone out a lot even when people are talking to me
you all seem to forget her mentioning several times about knowing someone's baseline🙃
This is actually quite an insightful way to read people. However, there are some situations in her cues that doesn't necessarily apply because sometimes people may really need to think longer for their rationale or it's because their timing of their rationale is attributed to their individual condition.
I am wondering why this is being discussed today? When researching a purchase it shows the publication in late 2020 or early 2021. Where has it all been since then?
Waiting for the next presidential debate. Should see and hear multiple hours of lying from the two candidates.
Good book and tips. All of you.7.5/3.5
If I was President, she would definitely be on President Special Detail.
Her giving these kinds of tips is her equivelant of Steven Seagal teaching real officers hand-to-hand combat lessons down at the police station
Just two people reading each other. Is that a common thing? I imagine that happens on blind dates all the time. Good info. Thanks.