I Only Date Guys Who Accept My Autistic Sister: 27-Year-Old Caregiver
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- Опубликовано: 28 май 2024
- Would you date someone if his/her autistic sibling is “part of the package”? Andreana Tay, 27, has had dates call her sister Audrey a “burden” who should have been aborted or sent to a home.
Audrey, 18, has Autism Spectrum Disorder, is non-verbal and has Global Developmental Delay. Andreana knows that making Audrey’s care her lifelong responsibility could mean staying single herself forever - unless Mr Right comes along who accepts them both as a package deal. She’s even quit her career in the Singapore Navy to have more time for her sister.
Andreana currently shares the responsibility of her sister’s daily care with their helper. But for the long term, Audrey’s future is in Andreana’s hands. Her priority? To make sure her sister is taken care of with an income stream - whether as a Tik Tok influencer (some of their clips (@andreanaanna) have hit millions of views), Instagram influencer (@audreytayyulin) or from their fledgling Lego-sorting and building business.
00:00 Nasty comments from dates
01:00 Their viral TikToks
02:19 Caring for an autistic sister
03:22 Giving up her Navy career
05:02 Anna’s dating life
05:56 Their business ventures
07:12 Hopes for Audrey's future
Also watch:
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Life As An Adult WIth Special Needs: • Life As An Adult With ...
How A 17-Year-Old With Autism Sees The World • How A 17-Year-Old With...
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A very kind & responsible sister. Your sister is very lucky to have you. All the best for all your plans & future ahead. 👍
Can’t agree more… God bless you for your kindness and watch over you and your family 🙂
Not very lucky for the normal sister though.
The autistic sister should be in training program which benefits her and let the sister has some time of her own. It is absolutely unhealthy to tie them together 24/7.
She is actually hurting her sister from blossoming. Her sister would be better off in a home where she would be surrounded with other retarded people. This sister is selfish keeping her in the public and not away in an institution.
ikr what a kind hearted sister
GIRL. we are in the same boat. You will find someone who is compatible!! I'm 26, and my bro is 27. He's on the non-verbal side, but he's been able to communicate more and more!! My fiancé was the one who suggested that my bro live with us. JUST when I was about to bring it up, he brought it up first (before we were engaged). Good people are out there :)))) I BELIEVE IN YOU GUYS!!
I also on the same boat as you guys🎉
Bcs i ask my lil why he didn't date anyone and he said most girl i date don't respect you and say nasty things about ur disabilities.. That why i want to date who can accept ur disabilities and become a good sister in law that can take care of you in the future.. That i what want for my sister.. He said.. Now i understand why he sometime reject others
do you allowe your fiance to bang other women?
Your husband is a gem.
As 23 y.o. Indonesian man with 29 y.o. Autistic brother (also non verbal) I totally can relate:''). He's hyperactive, love running around the house and screaming all day n all night. He is also a perfectionist (maybe it's an ADHD), everything must be in the right place. His favorite food is bakso, everytime he heard tukang bakso pass by, he always call it and make us buy it🤣.
He love to draw.. I mean really love to draw on ANYTHING, especially on dotted lines since he tried to learn alphabet by connecting the dots but instead of learning how to write alphabet, we successfully make him professional dot-connector and perfectly failed learn the alphabet hahaha. One time, at middle school I struck myself at school when opening my book that already perfectly "underlined" in every pages.. good job bruh👍😭.
I totally ok to date (although the genetics is concerning, but maybe prophylaxis or prior diagnostic precautions needed) with someone with the same experience.. but at least I want you to know that you're not alone.. this is a global phenomenon that can happen to anyone even though someone don't have the autistic lineage before. My brother, her sister, and others are also human that need to be treated as human with humanity and care. Even though in the end of the day they cannot live independently for the rest of their lives (in my case), the ultimate goals are maximize the Quality of Life, for them and for us as the everlasting loving family ( and also as caregiver). Semangat! You can do it (although it's hard😆)
Omg it’s so cute when I read this comments it really warms my heart to know that someone out there is living well too
@@andreanaanna6049 heyy Anna.. I really proud of u taking care of Audrey.. I believe soon enough your problems will be solved 😉 wish u all the best! Stay strong!💪
I love how positive you are! All the best to you and your brother :)
You are a great brother ! Thank you for sharing your story ! Unconditional love is what truly matters the most - you got him and he got you !
tetap semangat ya. True they cant live independently, I've seen my husband's nephew since he was 5 years old. we dont always understand him, but we love him. He is part of family. My husband let him work (dalam tanda kutip) dikantornya, although literally, he barely do anything other than his "usual"habit. Like spending hours in the toilet. He loves to eat too:)
I am a 57 year old single father with a 16 year old autistic son. His mother left us 12 years ago, citing 'very tired looking after him'. Since then l sold all my businesses local and oversea, returned back to my home country and look after my son until now. Relationship comes and go, moz of them bcoz of my son but l have always prioritize my son so l stay single until l find one who can accept him. I donno if my decision is right or wrong and l actually don't care but right now we are doing fine and l foresee things will stay fine and chug along nicely according to some plannings into the next 30 years at least ( with a trust fund in the plan in case l'm gone ). Kudos to you for being a good strong sister, l certainly know how you feel. 加油加油❗
That’s super nice to hear!
❤️
You might be concerned with your son's future. Maybe you can start researching on financial tool like trust, which can be customised to disburse payment from a reserved fund to pay for caretaking services upon certain condition. The only issue is whether you can find a trustworthy entity that provides such caretaking service. The financial aspect of your wealth can be automated even if the owner is no longer around. It takes time to plan and organise.
@@eric9493 Yes, l agree with you. I mentioned it in another comment here a few minutes ago under FTD ( Full Time Dad ). Finding a trust is easy, finding a reliable one is very difficult so l am still looking.
@@andreanaanna6049 sounds like a stressful life to me though
It’s every parents nightmare that they will have a disabled child and have no one to take care of them after we (the parent) dies. Having a sister like you is such a blessing!!
The state will, or government will.
@@um8440 not all governments do.
@@um8440 I would never do that to my sibling.
@@um8440 yea u don't want that. Better than nothing I suppose, but still
Yeah and what about the autistic child? You know how hard it is to be autistic?? The stigma and judgement we face every day?? I have to try my hardest to “blend in” with the rest of society. I have to try harder in things others take for granted. Due to the fact I’m autistic, my anxiety is always high and I am prone to having panic attacks.
Autism will never be curable and that is ok. What i want most of all is for society to be more accepting.
“We are different not less.” -Temple Grandin
That laughter is pure, unadulterated happiness, uncontaminated by the cares of this world. I wish them the very best with all of my heart. :)
Her laughter is really adorable QAQ
If there is a way to find out that your unborn have autism. Do you A.) Accept it
Or B.) abort it?
And why?
😜
My sister worked as sales manager. She has two master degrees. Her son was diagnosed with autism. Her husband of 13 years left and later the boy was diagnosed with epilepsy. My sister left her job and looks after her son full time. She is 33 years old and doesn’t have a minute to date or meet guys. Even though autism is always projected as negative in mainstream media. I hope people can first understand that we are all created differently and let’s appreciate differences.
Very true !
Your sister is truly a great and strong mother！My son was also diagnosed with authism three months after my husband passed away because of cancer. Best wishes to both our families. Some children are born different but they are beautiful.
I work in the field of developmental disorders, specializing in Autism. I highly recommend you to inform your sister to research into dietary intervention, especially because her son has both autism and epilepsy. The Ketogenic diet has been tested time and time again to be successful towards improving epilepsy massively, and new research is coming in in terms of the diet's effect on autism symptoms.
Also, many people with autism have benefited from "sound treatment." This form of treatment has been around for a while now, and these days there are many professed experts, but the original founder was Tomatis. I highly recommend your sister to look more into The Tomatis Method.
Does she put out?
I think its not that people dont appreciate "differences".
I think in general people understand or even respect people with autism. It just most people not equipped with the challenge to deal with people that has autism. It just simply too physically and emotionally exhausting.
Not only did she serve her country but she takes care of her sister whom she loves dearly. A beautiful soul
It's not like she had a choice in the matter, service in SG is mandatory
@@bigsmoke4568Is it compulsory for women?
@@bryy4272lmao it's not
Not sure if it's right to automatically make a sibling a caregiver when it's the parents that decide to have kids and they should be responsible, as amazing as she is as sister, it just doesn't feel right that she has to put her own life, wishes and career on hold (probably forever) to take care of her sibling. But the love is strong so maybe it's something she really wants to do
I get what you are trying to say, but I have mixed feelings in that regard. Autism doesn't exactly show up in ultrasound pre-birth so there is little way to know if a kid is autistic or not until they become a toddler. The parents may not want a hard life for the non-autistic child beforehand but life happens honestly. Maybe it is automatic but I think a large part is due to sibling love when a non-autistic sibling becomes a caregiver to their autistic sibling because they grew up with them. It is a similar situation with special needs kids; a lot of time, their siblings become caregivers after the parents retired/die. Saying this as a sibling to an autistic brother. It is what it is sometimes.
@@Tran-ll2it didn’t she say her parents both work at the hawker store
Parents die and get old and the sister is the best person because she will live as long. Pretty sad but true.
I think she said she wanted to do it anyway...
Bruh what are u 5 yr old? What parent want their child to be autistic. It is obvious they dont know about it when they decided they want child. U comment like u never had a bad situation in life. Must be nice to have naive happy life like that and commenting on other like it was stupid decision., what a privilege. This is a new level of "let them eat cake" comment.
The best sister anyone could have wanted. Props to her for taking this responsibility onto herself even though it's so tough. She's a brave and beautiful lady!!
This is nice but it's also kinda sad: this woman basically adopted her sister and is raising her. Now, there are older men with kids of their own that don't have an issue dating a woman with children. But this girl is an adult: she's 18. And I don't think any man would sign up to permanently take care of a low functioning human for the rest of their lives. Because I assume raising her own children is not a possibility when you've dedicated yourself to caring for someone until they die. Honestly she should just give up on dating altogether.
The best sister anyone could ever wish for. As the only girl out of four boys. I always wanted to have a sister and sometimes wondered what it would feel like. I didn't get a sister, but God gave me a daughter who I will undoubtedly give up my life for. This sister is an angel for putting her life on hold to be with her only sister; that’s a sister keep ❤️❤️❤️
@ Melinda Kalenga, I totally agree with you. People like Rain Remnant need a wake up call. It's not always forced on other kids to take on the love of helping with a sibling. I'm the 4th of 5 kids, & my brothers are the oldest & youngest of us & both of my sisters are older than me too. The oldest sister, was almost 14 months old when my other sister was born. It wasn't forced on her to help out. Actually, my oldest sister naturally took our sister & would put her on her lap whenever we were sitting down on a chair. This way, she could sit with us around the table. My Mom even took a photo of this 1 day too. Some siblings automatically feel their own instincts kick in & go with the flow. Nobody should ever be judged or degraded for doing so, either. There's only some like us who look at others for who they are. Instead of the way that they are. It's the kind of person someone is & what they're like with you that matters. Nothing else. And my sister sure knew how to give us some laughs for someone who suffered from the health issues that she did. They allow you to always stay a kid forever i some ways. Like the bible says, to always be like a child & love people as they do. Kids are taught to hate. They are not born that way. Hope all is well with you, & all the best of life & health to you & your family, Melinda. Take care. :)
She has such a big heart! I wish having a mental disability has more awareness in Asian countries. I’m still clueless about people hating on another human being because they’re different. She’s going to be a shining star in the future and will receive all the love she deserves. And same goes to her amazing sister who brings her so much joy that words cannot describe. Much love, happiness and abundance to them 🤍🫶🏼🥹
Sadly that in most Asian countries which people are ignorant because of their perception of mental disability does not equate with PWDs because they don't looked disabled and what makes things worse they expect them to act or work like a normal person which is so wrong.
Autism isn't a mental disability
@@daisygirlmochi768 The thing is that the perception of the people especially in Asian countries don't see it that way. They are expected them to act like normal people because they don't see any physical disability in them.
It's a developmental disability not a mental disability.
It's ok to be single because not many understand your situation to be a caregiver. Even you can find one but how long the relationship can last. Nowadays marriage doesn't last and a lot of my friends went thru divorces. And you know what. They are happier to be single. So am I. Thanks for being a good sister and give up your job to be with her. I can see her giggling and happy makes my heart happy too.
A lot of my friends left their family behind and they are so happy. So I guess she should leave her family behind too?
I agree with you so much. It is so hard to find strangers with who relationships go for a long time and they never betray you and match with you well. This goes for friendships and romantic partnerships.
Your love and care for family members lasts forever, so if you have a family member you're close to and they are not toxic, I think it's much better to put them before some boyfriend or even some friends! You can get endless happiness with them. Boyfriends are likely to break up with you and friends are likely to betray you, lose interest in you, or go another path.
You keep telling yourself that. Especially when that bed gets cold.
@@187onasimp Worry about yourself lmfao.
@@187onasimp It's funny that a geek like you is trying to bully someone about being lonely.
Parents have more responsibility than her sister. Afterall its parent decision to have baby, not the sister. Its unfair to expect her to be tied down by parents decision for life. She needs to be set free to lead her life.
Anna didn't really talk about her parents. They might all share caregiving roles, or her parents may have health issues to prevent them from caring for Audrey full time. The sad fact is, her parents are likely to pass away before Anna or Audrey. That's probably why Anna feels for responsible for her sister. Also it's unfair to assume Anna is not free. Seems to me like she wants to be there for Audrey.
@@phadenswandemil4345 yr definition of free is too simplistic
@@deschan2246 No one is really free.
fucked up that the parents aren't taking care of her. you already know they really don't want to. very selfish and they leave the responsibility to the older sister.
But hey, it's good that she has a sister who is willing to take care of her.
I am sure she will find someone that will love her and her sister!! A cousin married a man that was the primary caregiver of his grandma, she knew that he was not going to give up his grandmother and she fell in love with the wonderful lady too!! So my cousin helps and became as well another caregiver for her :) that’s true love!
" she will find someone that will love her and her sister"
There is probably a guy that would accept this deal, but I doubt it would be a guy this woman would actually find sexually attractive.
Any guy with options wouldn't touch this with a 10 foot pole.
extremely rare tho
@@BobSmith-mp8ld I agree 100%,
@Caitlyn A cope
No man in his right mind is going to put up with that
They are lucky to have each other. The guy who recognizes and captures her golden heart will be the luckiest guy in the world 🤍
Yes that's an attraction for sure. But if the guy wants a family of his own and isn't filthy rich, he'd have to think twice. In today's world you need two decent incomes for a family.
It’s not rude or bad to for a man to expect to be with only her. It’s what most people want and expect. It doesn’t make him a bad person at all. Just an average person who wants to find a partner.
Amen. At least she's cognizant about being single forever with her "package deal" requirement.
I thought that too. Most people want a relationship with one other person and not third wheels involved. It would take someone unusually selfless to be down with something like this.
Except there were some saying that her sister needed to be abort, put in a home so she can date them, etc. Those are the specific type of guys who are selfish and want her to stop looking after her sister so she can tend to them first. Other guys aren't at fault for not wanting to get involved with her due to this, though.
But I think she mean that she will not choose him over her sister not that they bad it like in different seniors
Its bad if they know this and are waisting her time.
She seems like a lovely woman. Her sister is adorable and I have the utmost respect for her in being a caretaker for her.
But I would have to bow out, politely. Just not something I want to deal with long term.
there's an interesting paradox in claiming someone is objectifying or infantilizing a person/illness. that in and of itself is infantilizing/objectifying because you wouldn't say anything about it if you didn't view the behaviors you're seeing as child-like (which, btw, is a VERY common trait in autistic people). their relationship is a perfect example of recognizing Audrey does have a voice, even if she doesn't speak, she just needs someone to be her microphone. I'm glad she's encouraging her sister to be independent and trying to find a way she can work without exposing her to potential workplace abuse. you can tell they love and care for each other very deeply. also as an autistic person, sorting legos for a living would be my dream job. I could sit and sort them out by shape, color, literally any criteria for hours. it's repetitive enough to be calming, but not so repetitive that it gets tedious
Maybe this is bad of me, but I did view some of her behavior as childlike. I don't really view everyone with disabilities in that way, but it's hard for me to not see that in individuals with intellectual disabilities. I guess that is a perception that's been fed to me by other people which I need to get rid of. I'm pretty child-like and I don't have disabilities. A lot of people are way more immature than her tbh. Regardless, I don't see how that's taking advantage of her or exploiting her though. If she had a problem with it, she would let her sister know. She can speak for herself.
I love sorting things also. It makes me feel calmer.
As someone who lives with an autistic older, I gotta say it's important to treat them like their age (this is mostly important towards adults because infantilizing adults with autism is the main issue) but also be understanding that they aren't going to act exactly like their age. Even so, it's important to teach them to feel confident because something that people may not know is that sometimes people on the autism spectrum can be insecure about themselves, especially when people aren't being very nice to them. It really hurt to see my older sister come home from school when I was 10 and she would cry because the other kids would mock her expressions and tell her she's not smart. Just be nice, that's all I have to say to people who are ableist.
I know how you feel. I've been talking care of my autistic little brother, pretty much since he was born. He's 28 now and he's still my baby bro. I've had relationship problems before because girls couldn't handle how much of my time is dedicated to him, but that's what it is. He will always be a major part of my life, so accepting him is the only way to truly progress in a relationship with me. I love seeing how the two of you interact with each other, it reminds me of me and my bro. So even if we don't know each other, know that you're not alone in this and your video reminds me that I'm not either. Thanks for that
I smiled throughout the video as her laughter is so cute and contagious! But I cried towards the end of the video especially when I’m reading the comments knowing that there are others who are sharing their own experiences. Thank you for being such a good and strong sister! 💪💪💪
Her giggles are actually very contagious, she just sounds like she’s enjoying life; not to infantilize her, but she reminds me of a really, truly happy-go-lucky kid.
Her laughter is so contagious!! I hope they get the help they deserve, such a caring wonderful older sister to have. They're both so beautiful. God bless them ❤️❤️
😍😍😍😍😍✌
that fact that she's also so upfront about it is commendable, she doesnt wait to drop the baggage on the guy once he catches feelings, she straight up tells them - its both of us or none of us - good on her!
all the power to her man. I can't do this because i value my freedom to be happy for myself. For someone to put someone else before them is not something everyone can do. I see some family who stay and takes care of their disabled kids, siblings, etc but it's a lot of sacrifice on their part. I want to be able to pursue dreams, do things on my own accord and putting myself in that situation is like having myself handcuffed. Things are limited so I have full respect for people who can do this and i'm not ashamed to say I am not one of those people
as a person with a mental disorder, i can’t explain how happy this makes me feel. you should be proud of yourself. thank you so much for raising awareness on this topic and showing the world it is not something to be ashamed of.
You are not a disorder. Whoever diagnosed you had no idea about what it is like to be autistic. The only people who understand are those who are autistic themselves with lived experience.
This elder sister sure go to heaven. It's not easy to have a disabled member of family especially when the cost of living is climbing. Bless this family.
I really just smiled throughout the video, audrey is so cute and her laugh really brings joy man,, i hope that both of you will find happiness in your life:)
I have two ASD children. My daughter is high functioning. Then my son is lower functioning, and I would never want my daughter to put her life on hold being a caretaker for my son. It’s a lot of work!!!
I’m diagnosed with autism too (since early early childhood) I dont think im low functioning though yeah I can relate
She such caring sister usually most siblings can't accept it her sister is adorable tbh not easy to take care a person with special need I'm a mom of 2 +4 with a special need kids so i do understand her feelings
Im in the same shoes!! Mentioning to a potential partner about the package is super important as he/she is not only getting one person, but both of us. Im scared I’ll be more distanr during NS so hopefully everything will be fine :) Kudos to all the siblings out there who has taken care of their siblings with special needs or any difficulties. You all are the unsung heroes of your own lives💪💪
Such a touching and wholesome video! A very amazing sister who truly loves her younger sibling. And Audrey's laughs are so absolutely precious man, brings a smile to my face! I'm so glad awareness is being spread to help get rid of the stigma around things like the autism spectrum :)
True, however we need to remember that autism does not always mean being non verbal and in need of 24/7 care.
Dude having these siblings bonds, who doesn't want a beautiful, caring and loving women to be their wife? This is pure love, not wanting to give her to unknown caregivers, IT'S HER SISTER she wants to take care of her... How beautiful is that 😊
People are so digusting. One day you will be old, I have worked at pensions for old people, they are sad and alone, no matter how much you visit them there, they will never forgive you that you gave them there, NEVER. I've worked 1 year and they were sad and helpless. Don't give me the "not everyone likes to take care" bs. One day you will be at this point and you will want your family to take care of you.
The younger sister is so happy because the elder sister loves her unconditionally.
2 great sisters. Her laugh is pure. I am sure you will find that person who knows you are a package deal. Good Luck
More comments like this please. There are some really horrible ones further up in the comments section.
She is so precious and innocent. I am very proud of you for making your sister a major part of your life! I wish there were more people like you out in this world.
I get the responsibilty part but if you choose a mentally challenged adult instead of putting them in a hospice, you have to be realistic about your love life. Who would want to invest thier time on anyone who can't prioritise thier future family when they are still young? Where are the parents? Does anyone understand the cost of taking care of a wife, children and sister in law with mental disability? Not a single responsible man would claim this burden if they have the choice. They aren't beeing mean for asking her to consider putting the sister in care.
I can relate to the older sister. I am 30 & 6 yrs ago my dad got diagnosed with dementia (also non verbal). I had to quit my job a year & a half ago to help my mom take care of him full time. I am also single & it is hard to date cuz caregiving takes up all my time, but if a woman can't accept that then i don't need her 🤷♂️
Thank you CNA insider for covering this story. It brought tears to my eyes because I also have a younger sister with autism. Cant speak, need to be watched all the time, a bit more violent than Audrey here. My mum currently bares a lot of the burden and unfortunately all her boyfriends left her for this reason. I always wonder once I marry and my mum is gone, will the same fate happen to me once I absorb the responsibility fully. It feels assuring there are people out there that understands this problem. Godspeed Anna and Audrey ❤
wow this is sooo inspiring. I am a social worker for autistic kids, so I know how challenging it is to deal with them. I need to educate them and improve their mental learning capability with expectations from the parents, so it is really a challenging job for us and for the family I deal with. This older sister is soooo kind to not be embarrassed of her sister, but willing to spend her whole life looking after her, even giving up her job for her.
This is why I want to go into the field of social work. I’m autistic myself, so if I do end up working with autistic children I would be able to fully engage to their needs. Know from their point of view. And I completely understand it being difficult for those who are allistic to see that as a challenge.
You made a brilliant career choice here! As an autistic person, you are able to understand them. You should be considered a true asset to your department! Keep at it!
My heart goes out to you. You are one in a million, compassionate, unselfish and caring. Singapore is a better place because of you. God bless you richly.🙏
What I hate the most is that people with MINOR autism that doesn't really affect anything cognitive/major in their life where they would need a caretaker or someone to tell them from right to wrong, are criticizing whether or not a person on tiktok is abusing her sisters right to post. She's clearly alright with it and she's comfortable with her sister, if she wasn't and I know because I have a nephew with down syndrome, they will act up. Really loudly and if they are not comfortable with someone, trust me YOU WILL KNOW. Yeah sure it's all good that they're concerned but if you can put 2 and 2 together, you can see she's happy.
Aww Gob bless y'all. I have an autistic son, and I love watching others interact with their autistic loved ones. It's nothing to be ashamed of showing. I'm tired of people acting like it's a secret and has to be kept hidden. Like it's taboo or something. There are millions of autistic people in the world, and it's great for them to shine and show the world their personalities.
You dont need to be with any one who cannot accept your sister. They do not deserve your loving heart.
That's a bit harsh. In any relationship you settle. This is like saying all 20 year old models don't deserve a 50 year old homeless man's love.
Hi all, like Andreanna, I (53)will not date anyone who does not accept my brother (55). Prior to my mother passing away in 2019, I always told my bfs if /when I date I always make sure they know I have a brother who is deaf and non-verbal who is developmentally disabled. If that is a problem...then its"boy bye". Boyfriends/friends come and go but family is forever. Since my mom passed away I'm his prinary guardian and we are having the best time!!! Again for me to accept them, they have to ACCEPT MY BROTHER.
Long story short, to all parents and siblings to have "Gods gift" in your lives GOD BLESS YOU!!! To the wives whose husband couldn't deal with the stress of their sons or daughters, THEIR LOSS!!! I can say from experience, my mom, raised my brother and myself without a husband and SHE did an amazing job!!! Grace and Peace ALL!!!
A few more IMPORTANT things worth mentioning ...
In US, the top two killers of autistic individual are drowning and getting hit by car. You muz watch out these two.
Second, caregivers muz look after their own health. I have seen many parents collapsed due to fatigue and stress.
Third, finance is extremely important. If not careful, it can cause mental stress and wear you out both mentally and physically.
Laz, if you can, create a trust fund to look after her after you are gone ( not necessary old age, it can oso be due to accident, illness, disease, etc ).
Planning is very important. You are still young and your parents are still around ... can brainstorm and work as a team.
My two cents.
The first point I don't know why you mention this. The rest of them are legitimate.
@@jadentran9895 So you can try to avoid them
@@Catlily5 yes there are Chinese serial killers and African tigers and Japanese bull dogs. Watch out for them
@@jadentran9895 There are lots of cars and bodies of water in the USA. There are not any African tigers in existence. So if I had an autistic child I would watch out for the first two.
PS. Tigers are from Asia not Africa...
@@Catlily5 the entire point is that the first one is so irrelevant. There are many dangerous things in the world and I basically was being sarcastic. They are not even in the US so I don’t know why even mention it.
What a awesome sister Audrey has, she is lovely she is , loves her smiles and giggles, Andreana is so good , loving and caring to her sister, totally can feel the sisterly loves she has for Audrey, I can relates to this as I am mum of two special needs sons with Autism and it is not easy at all, but one thing I would never change them , they are very unique in their own ways and wish Andreana and Audrey lots of loves, good health and happiness always :)
Sending these pair of siblings virtual hugs!! You’re such an amazing sister & you have a rly wonderful sister too hehe her laughter is sooo contagious 🤍🤍🤍
the guys she met are all so horrible wow, barely any empathy! I'm glad she keeps her standards high, never settle!
This right here
I would rather the guys be straight with her and lay down their expectations to avoid disappointment rather than beat around the bush and waste more of her time, it’s only natural for them to think about their self interest because the sister is a responsibility that isn’t theirs but will be theirs once they live together, so she needs to make things clear with the guys she sees first
You can’t expect average guys to be sensitive and empathetic toward a stranger because most of them just aren’t, horrible, but expected. However, what they don’t realize is that she is a gem with a big heart who will stick by and care for her loved ones through thick and thin, and that is something they might regret not looking for in a partner in the future
This is very inspiring to see, your sister's smiles and laughters tells me she's full of life. I find it very sweet that you take her with you everywhere you go. I have a younger brother with DS, and I'm always with him and he's always with me as a package as well. He loves watching youtube and playing on his PS4. Don't worry if guys won't accept you both, there will be someone someday who'll love you both with all of his heart. Any man would have been lucky to have both of you in his life. Keep a big smile with your sister and hold her hands and tell her how much you love her.
So touching to see the sisterly love ! Wish the both of you all the best! 👯♀️❤️
It’s fair for you to declare this ultimatum but it is also fair for a guy to refuse it. When dating, it is always a one on one case. If there are any additional requirements, then please be upfront. Don’t act surprised or upset when the guy leaves because you decide to pull a quick one on him and lie about your true conditions. And don’t act insulted when not a lot of guys agree to this deal. *You are the one creating these new conditions.*
bless this beautiful young woman, the love she has for her sister is so strong... these are the most precious things in the world
Oh my lord what a wonderful person and caregiver. I hope the best for you and your sister! As a single father of two daughters I hope my girls have a bond this strong when they grow up
I'm 30 & a caretaker of my sibling who also has autism. I have a bf, he admits he doesn't know about autism but I appreciate that he asks questions. I wish I knew more adult siblings/caretakers because it does get lonely not having friends, family who understand what we go thru being a caretaker. Good luck to all caretakers out in the world!
Good for yous, Malice. I wish you & your bf all the best in life & health. People with special needs are very special people, & no matter what level of health they're in or you're in. They're always just as happy to see you as your own child, parent or even pet always is. They have a shine in them that's contagious in a great way. For example, my Mom & I 1 day got into it verbally, & when my sister heard that, she started to crack right up & laugh so hard that, it made the verbal argument between my Mom & I stop. She caught my attention, & made me laugh too. I'd say to her, I know. We're being stupid again, right? Yes, I know. It's stupid that we're arguing like this. You're right. And she'd just laugh & smile & have this huge glow to both her face & eyes when I said it too. Don't kid yourself, she understood what was going on. She knew that Mom was mad for whatever reason & in other words, Ha Ha, you're in trouble. What a little tease. They're so smart. My sister sure was.
It’s good that he asks question as that shows that he cares.
Wishing you all the best.
This is one of the only cases where I agree with the word "influencer" being a proper term. When it's being used to convey actual message to help create positivity, and influence in the right direction. Other influencers are selfish, and usually promote wasting time, resources, or generally and extremely negative messaging. I love that you stand for you and your sister.
Ur such a kind & caring sister. She looks happy & safe. A lot of autistic people are in danger of abuse in the hands of their own loved ones. Ur an angel to her. Plz continue to share tik tok videos to help raise awareness for autism.
Your sister is so happy, and you are a great role model to other families with special needs family members. I hope my son can learn from your posts, and have more understanding and patience for his autistic little brother.
You are brave to take on this huge responsibility and one day, I hope you will find a partner who is willing to share and help with your sister. Don’t worry about the negative comments. They always people who will never understand and they have never walk in your shoes. Keep up the good work and god bless you both.
My brother’s autistic and i said the same thing. If you can’t accept his differences then there’s no reason you should be w me. He’s my baby brother and it’s my job to be there for him when he needs me. If you want to be w me then you have to get on his good side too. My brother is TOO shy to want to meet anyone so if he’s comfortable w you, he’ll let you know.
Andreana inspires me. as a 25 year old older sister to a 10 year old autistic little sister, it makes me want to try even more to grow our relationship. as you can imagine, it can be quite difficult to maintain a relationship with any sibling regardless if neurodivergent or not with a 15 year age gap, especially when you've moved out and are trying to make your own way in life. thankfully, our mom is full time stay-at-home and both my parents love and provide so much for her, but i want to ensure that my family knows how much i love my little sister and how ill always be here for her. what beautiful sisters and such a lovely relationship they share!
You're kinda doing what a big sister should do. Any guy who wouldn't date you because of her......isn't worth your time anyway. Good luck kiddo!
So sweet lah the sisters... I teared up a little :") thanks for highlighting autistic people and their caretakers!!
This is a really inspiring video! Thanks for sharing and I also have an autistic brother and understand the struggles of being an older sibling.
Anna is a beautiful, kindhearted human being to take care of her sister. I wish them both nothing but therabsolute best. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
So proud of you. Take caring of your sister. Some people really do not understand your situation, but some know about it also. God bless a woman like you❤️🙏
She's a good sister my cousin has Autism and watching her sister can help others understand what someone with it is going through. Also it seems like she is helping her sister open up or learn what she likes to do .My cousin is not social and very shy and hard to get to do anything but if you put an electronic in front of him he will figure out how it works in minutes without telling him..Keep helping your sister expand her brain and self...
The older sister has such a big heart, sacrificing so much for the sister which you don't see a lot nowadays. This is why sometimes as an Asian I can't stand our culture, they are so judgemental especially towards those with mental health issues.
You will find the right partner. I was a single mom - I had 3 kids - 1 of which was my severely autistic son. My husband has always been very accepting & loving with my son. I will add that my husband had a young disabled daughter from his first marriage so he already knew about how life with a child with challenges would be. That definitely helped each of us trust the other with our 'special' children. Good luck to you & your sister - you two have each other and that is the most important thing! ❤
How old were you if you don’t mine I’m in the same position but I’m 36
Amazing! Great insight. Your sister is so lucky to have you as her big sister. You really see the big picture and think outside of the box. It's wonderful. Sending you best wishes! 🙏☺️🇦🇺
seriously.... she will be a VERY CARING mother and wife in the future. don't worry Andrea, the right man will eventually come and love you, and your sister as well!
Please tell people this who are also in the same situation. A lot of nasty comments above
chanced upon this video & just would like to say so happy I tapped in! It’s a really heartwarming video loved both the sisters!!sending lots of love to both of you ❤️
that woman has too much love in her to not me someone who'll except her and her sister. She'll get there!
You're an awesome girl and a great sister. Your sister looked so happy with you. You two are definitely a package. You both are angels on earth. Listening to her laughs is so wonderful and seeing your sister happy is heartwarming. She's happy because she has you for life.
This sister is a blessing. Very caring
Some heroes wear capes, others were in the navy and cares for her non-verbal sister! Andreana is the best sister that Audrey could wish for!
You are a remarkable woman like my mother. I am mildly autistic but my mother never gives up on me, and she raises me painstakingly for twenty one years and my condition improves a lot throughout these past few years. I am touched by your bravery to dedicate yourself to your sister.
Wow, the older sister is impressive. She's smart, sensitive and aware. I really hope they'll be okay and can make it work. I wish them the best 💛✨
Such a strong older sister. May both your lives are always filled with happiness ❤️
I can’t really be mad at those guys for not wanting to date her when she has to also be her sister’s carer, especially considering they’re probably not in the position to be particularly empathetic and not to mention it’s a lot to take in. But at the same time, I understand why she is prioritising her sister’s care and I even respect her a lot for it.
Just because you are not empathetic doesn’t mean other people aren’t. I get how it could be a lot to take in for some people who aren’t mature
@@NZ28188 The shade lol Not wanting to date someone whose first priority will always be her sister isn't immature, it's human nature.
@@NZ28188 it has nothing to do with maturity. in fact it is you who are not mature enough to understand what getting into a relationship with her entails.
@@NZ28188 It has nothing to do with maturity. It's okay if people don't want to take on the extra responsibility and to not be in a relationship with your partner whom sees you as number 2. Majority of people don't want to do that.
@@J0k3rl yep. 9 out of 10 guys want nothing to do with this. Good luck to them trying to find one that does, though. They're out there, somewhere.
Bless you sweetie for being you! My youngest son is autistic. He just turned 8. His Mom and I were older when he was born. So I always worry about what will happen to him when we pass. He has older brothers and sisters but I don't want to see that responsibility put on them. Good on you for being the loving good human being you are! All my best and love to you young lady!
You are a very caring sister and a beautiful young woman.....I have ZERO doubt you will find someone that will not only accept your sister, but will help you care for her.
very noble and responsible sister. all the best to u and your family
If u can afford to get her into a home then that would be fine with her, I think she would be happy for you to have your own life... As long you visit her as your heart wants... Care and love don't bind you as long as you have money to pay... But sadly not all of us have the capacity to send our love ones with disability into a home...
Tbh I don’t agree group homes for people with disabilities aren’t always better I know cus I live in one
@@JunaidWolf3 at least you can use RUclips
she a real one
This warms my heart. You are an incredible big sister. And Audrey is so adorable. I love her giggle. And she is incredibly intelligent too. Wishing you all the best life has to offer.
Big hugs ❤️
Awww such a sweet family specially the big sister looking after its small sister!
I am so proud of you!! You may not know who I am but I just wiped tears from my eyes watching this video...and I wasn't even halfway through yet lol. I really admire how much you care for your sibling and please keep it up, because in people's eyes they smile by the heart you have🙂🙏❤️.
She is a very wonderful sister to her younger sibling.
I salute her for all the trouble she went through. This is real true love 🥰
She is so wholesome and expressive even without words. I love that her sister encourages her Independance as much as possible
But then again they came to date you and be with you, your forcing another person to be between you. Sure its nice of you to be a supportive sister etc, but if a man is in love with you he doesnt want to be around your sister all the time, sometimes sure but not constantly, make time for both.
What a beautiful story of your trials and tribulations on behalf of your sister brought tears to my eyes. God Bless.
Superb and touching story. Stay strong for the both of you and don't worry, Mr. Right would come and be a pillar for you guys too...
You shouldn't expect any person to have to take care of your sibling though. It's not they're mean but it would be like having to take care of a child that you didn't really plan for. That's just how reality is.
You shouldn't be expected to do anything but still people do it, Its called life, people get sick have accidents etc the if you love a person youl adapt if you're weak youl complain in the the end death comes for all, but everybody has the freedom to chose how they live their life
You and your sister are so adorable 💜
I have a younger brother with autism and same thing here, I only accept people in my life that also accept my brother, in case they don’t then they’re out.
I am in awe of her sense of responsibility to her sister. I wish both of them the best of health 🤗
Respect!! you are a solid person, ... very dependable to those close to you.
Relationships are complicated enough. No person should be forced to put up with managing a relationship and someones handicapped sibling at the same time. Asides from a splitting headache what do you have to offer them that's worth all the trouble? Lady needs to be realistic otherwise she's going to wake up one day realizing she missed out on life because of her sister. While it's great she wants to look after her sister you also can't expect someone else to feel the same way when they have no obligation to and can date a woman with less problems attached to them.
Wow, the lack of empathy is astounding in these comments. Our world is so fucked. How could you automatically say that autistic people cause splitting headaches. First off, that’s insensitive as hell and second of all autistic people aren’t always loud.
And “dating someone with less problems”. People with disabilities or health issues are not burdens to the people that love them. I get it though, not everyone is strong or mature enough to be in that situation