So I was raised very religious and our family emphasized daily personal prayer. But looking back on that now, I realize that was actually a form of self love. It was quality time spent with myself where I would basically practice having a compassionate mindset about my shortcomings and various concerns in my life and maybe even seeking out internal words of encouragement.
Words: Affirmations based on progress and growth that feel emotionally true. Quality time: time to relax/rest or enjoy something with no interruption/multitasking and guilt Service: do something first thing in the morning that really supports you, that could alleviate something that stresses you Gift: I see you and what you’re going through and this is my way of supporting you (something you need or are excited about) Physical touch: respect your body with love and treat you with comfortable things that feel good in a sensory way
Heidi , you say acts of service is your second to last love language , however it seems like every second you take to create and share your videos is in itself an act of service . I am grateful to you and you openness and your dedication . Consider this my act of service to you . Thank you Heidi .
I feel like another component of quality time with yourself is to be intentional with what you do. Don’t set aside an hour of alone time just to mindlessly scroll social media and dither around the house. Do something that you love or will be helpful.
Touch is my love language and through watching this I realise, as I've been working on myself and trying to heal my various trauma wounds, I now know that I've already begun giving myself the touch that I crave. I recently started a skincare routine every morning to help with my rosacea. I've been able to keep up with that routine, because not only does it help my skin look better....but my skin FEELS GOOD now!! Every now and then I like to touch my cheeks and notice how much smoother and softer my face feels. Also, after suffering years of eating disorders and restrictive diets, I'm now allowing myself one hot chocolate each evening and just really paying attention to how good the warm sensation feels in my body. Also....eating when I'm hungry is a big one I had to consciously teach myself how to do. I had to re-learn how to enjoy food again.
This is a truly brilliant insight and the whole video is filled with practical and down-to-earth wisdom that should be common sense but is actually unique. Heidi you have a real gift and I'm not sure you fully realize how special it is yet.
This is the best video I have ever seen on self love and the love languages. Spent 5-7 years trying to really understand HOW to love myself and feeling guilty that the affirmations don’t really work but you have done something amazing for me by giving me clarity around these concepts. Love you for this video and the one about how to love yourself. Watching them on repeat lately ❤🎉👏🙏
I'm a touch dude, I started workout with this mindset and now my body demands it when I procrastinate 🤦🏾 he realised it's my way to give him a big hug so he's longing for more 🤣💪🏾 having a cuddly dog helps too 🥰
Acts of service is my top love language, but it's the one I use the least towards myself. What a great new perspective! This makes so much sense, and I'll definitely give this a shot.
I LOVE the advice for Touch (one of my top love languages). It blew my mind when I realized that those were things I started a few years ago I 100% agree with you assessment ❤
Hah - I knew you were Canadian! 😂 You have a real gift for giving the tools necessary to implement change. A lot of people can explain the abuse (the reason why we got fucked up, and the insight is useful but not enough), but very few can explain the tools needed to change, in such a concise, understandable and useful way. I raise a Moosehead to you - thanks Heidi❤
it is interesting what you say about Eating the Frog. I recently heard the advice, as an ENFP to never eat the frog and start your day with sth you love. Bc ENFPs become motivated by doing things they love and get sad with the mundane things (which are often those frogs...). That helped me a lot to strukture my day and to accept my avoidances without that guilty feeling of not being able to routines. But thinking of it as an act of (self-) love does make it into a "reasonable" reason to eat that frog. (ENFPs always need a "Why"). Thank you for that hint :)
I just understood why moving my body and eating food that makes me feel good is so emotionally important for me. my absolute top love language is touch. thank you!
In terms of gifts, one thing that I’ve found to be excellent is buying myself a massage or ordering myself a pizza, but doing it like 2-3 months in advance. That way I not only have ample time to fit that thing into my budget - I also always have something to look forward to coming up and that can get me through a lot of bullshit.
i definitely felt the same confusion when people talked about self love because i wasn’t actively harming myself but i read somewhere that in a relationship with another person the absence of harm does not equal the presence of love and that changed the way i thought about it and all these tips are super helpful!
what you said about the physical touch love language just blew my mind. It's one of my main love language and what you say make so much sense, I never though about that before. Will apply that ASAP
My main love language is quality time, but all five love languages are so important to my overall well-being. Still, I 100% need quality time to feel truly connected to someone.
Hi Heidi. Words of affirmation is my second top language and I still didn't buy into the ''manifest and tell nice things'' movement because it felt like self gaslighting. Also thanks so much for taking the time explaining gifts. I had a very bad relationship with gifts as my parents used to gift me stuff I didn't really want (to show me they love me) and I had to give gifts on special occasions wether I liked it or not. Sometimes, they even bought the gift and give it to me so I can give it back so I grew up making no connection between gifts and expressing love. Also I cried when you explained touch because that's my top love language and I fell stuck. Besides, I realized how me neglecting my body was felt as hatred to me since it's my top language. What you are sharing with us makes so much sense and I am very grateful to you for finding and sharing a true and pratical way to build an healthy relationship with ourselves. ❤
I love the point about how self affirmations can only work just so much:: our SUBCONSCIOUS mind is powerful ❤️ We need to be taking action or trying our best to take action. So “i am learning to instill habits to be successful” is way better than “i am alrdy successful now” yess
I just noticed that I get super relaxed just from listening to you and watching you facial expressions and gestures. As I thought about why I remembered Joyce´s video about the 9 ENFP enneagram types and it clicked for me that you being an 8w7 and me being an 7w8 ENFP we have a strong overlap but your example and your speech just viscerally helps me to actualize my 8w more and is totally grounding me. Also I love the way you develop your ideas. The way you speak is super logical and to the point, which I guess is your strong Te. And so I can just completely follow your structure and communication style and kind of be thinking along as if I was listening to my inner voice. Keep it up Heidi. I love your stuff :)
My love language is Quality time then affirmations than acts of service. Than very bottom is touch followed slightly behind gifts. To love my self today I'm watching these videos as a step to learning how I can. Thing 2 I'm going to do is go for a walk. Spend time with myself.
I think tapping is a kind of physical touch self love. It is also nice to give yourself a hug and pat yourself on the back, or squeeze/pat your arm to comfort yourself.
That part on quality time is GREAT…I always felt so charged and energetic after spending time doing nothing without guilt I named it “ the hour of sweet boredom “ i just sit and observe my emotions and my thoughts…I didn’t know the psychology behind it! all I knew was it worked..I thought cause I got rid of so much dopamine realising activities..now I know why
Thank you!❤ I think you said something in this video that I think is often overlooked. Space. The word, the act, the void, and releasing the fear of the unknown and emptiness of which the space creates, turning that fear to acceptance and allowance of the unknown. Perhaps this is what true receptivity is. I’ve been watching your videos for a while and I’m 53. You are me. I am you. Please continue what you’re doing. I believe that in 50 years time, your books will be among the canon of Bolby, Miller, Walker, et. al. Thank you for teaching me how to love myself. lastly I’ve been in therapy on and off for over 30 years, have had the most amazing therapist from the beginning who has guided me throughout my life and given me a tool chest to work with, you have shown me how to use them again as they were a little rusty. ❤❤❤
My way of thinking about affirmations, is that the goal you tell yourself isn't literal. "I am successful." " I have the Job, the car, the lover, or x, y, z." Our body's responses are objective to reality. A good example would be sensory deprivation tanks. Where people claim to have astral projected. That dream or place they go, their brain is lighting up to those events as if they're actually happening to the body. I suppose this also slips into the paradox of "I won't be happy until..." What affirmations is, IS about overriding that inner critic. You can have that happiness, that joy, now. It just doesn't make sense to deprive yourself. Life is entirely transient. Keep heading for the things you'd LIKE to have, but don't forget to enjoy the journey and LOVE yourself along the way. There's no point in holding back that love. Lastly, "I'm heading in that direction." etc. I think often we forget to move ourselves past that stage of thinking and find ourselves on the hamster wheel. "I'm going to take care of myself." to "I am taking care of myself." Regardless if presently up until that moment you haven't.
Heidi, you’re the only person I’ve ever heard vocalize the issue I have with EFT (emotional freedom technique). In your description of using affirmations to affirm things you know to be untrue. When you described the inner critic coming out when you’re telling yourself affirmations that don’t resonate it was a light bulb moment for me. EFT feels like sandpaper on my brain for that same reason!
I love your intro, how self-love shows up more in the language of words of affirmation. Very insightful. I also see how misunderstood and misrepresented gift is. It’s my sister’s main love language and what I’ve come to understand is that it’s actually celebrating what makes an individual unique, celebrating the quirks, showing appreciation for who they are and what they like independently of the work they put in others. My main one is acts of service. While theoretically eating the frog feels like it’s something that would be great, for me it feels too much of a step-up. Plus, first thing in the morning, I have zero time with my kids being so young. I’ve been testing out as a daily practice "what’s something I could do in 5 minutes or less now that would save me an hour’s worth of trouble later?". As for these big tasks, it works better for me to bunch them up in an admin day. I love love love your advice for words of affirmation, which is my second language. Spot on, actionable and realistic
You know what? My love language is physical touch, and I hadn’t noticed how good i feel when i do things that are pleasing to my senses e.g. buying a new perfume or taking a long bath or adapting new skin care routines until today! Thanks Heidi🤗
This is so awesome! I always thought of self-love more as a feeling toward myself of appreciation and enthusiastic support. But this is definitely leveling it up. I love the "There is no substitute for self-love". This is so related to boundaries too. I'm going to have to really sit with this, I can't immediately identify my top Love Language and they all make sense to me. I'm an ENFP and have always struggled with self-care and any kind of "maintenance" task because it's "boring", but now I am realizing I struggle with taking in love and that's probably more the real reason. So this is a great way to practice working on that. Yay! (I'm going to do PDS also thanks to your recommendation in a video. And I'm going thru the ENFP Bootcamp right now.) Thanks!!
Loved this Video! Simple concepts but mind blowing!!! My #1, love language is quality time. I feel guilty to take a break because at times, work, family, kids so overwhelming at times. So thanks for that explanation, I am scheduling time just for me without guilt!!!
Oh my gosh,wow! I do believe we have the same love language in our top "slot" which is quality time, so to speak,and lately (or the last few months even) i have forced myself to enjoy meals without distractions if possible. Now, it is difficult often because i tend to listen to playlists while i eat, and i'll be curious about the melodies or songs i listen to, so i would get up to go see those things. Naturally this disrupts my flow of peace.... Not the best. Gifts for myself have been huge on my mind lately, specifically around kitchen items or comforting clothing. Been needing silverware for so long, because i feel tired of using non-stick pans( i really feel awful using them, toxic). I do get tempted by so much though,hehehe! Whew, you helped me see my own love languages much more clearly. You made me consider, that perhaps touch might be my second favorite language too! If not first, because i truely,deeply resonated with the softness or comfort of things (clothing,one more time). This is very good,thanks Heidi!
Amazinggg. Finally PRACTICLE ways and SPECIFIC EXAMPLES of self love! I love thisss. I rlly like physical touch: Warm/cozy/silk/flowy/soft things are really nicee for me, esp to learn to connect to my Se function. I also lovee dancingg And acupuncture Oh and skin care❤️
"Show the F up for your self."❤❤❤❤❤❤ This video just made me love you!!!😊 I've watched upwards of 20 plus videos from you so far. But this video in particular...❤❤❤
I am binge watching your channel this summer! And I have told my year group in Counselling school about your great channel. Keep up the amazing work and God bless!
Self love is "me time" done right. I am perplexed because i am very balanced in the love language tests. As a man i recognize I'm partial to physical touch but not much. The other 4 are very important to me also, and they kinda all get in line to "quality time". I find it's difficult to find people to connect with because so many are traumatized by life and not very aware how it comes out of them with their company/community.
Quality time is my 1st love language. Gifts would be my last unfortunately not know in the past about different love language styles. I probably without knowing it hurt people I cared about by not giving them gifts or being under enthused when they gave me a gift.
ah, interesting, I initially got familiar with and practiced affirmations as a tool to fostering believe in myself and self-trust. But only with the words I actually believe in, at least on the rational level. The idea to tell myself the direction feels very right and helpful. It is much easy to believe in
Also with acts of service!!!@@!! Rupaul in Guru talks about showing up for yourself (honestly the best audiobook, only an hour long but has everything). As in - dressing up and looking nice "putting on your Sunday best" for you child.
I just stopped and took out the loads of boxes and trash I have from moving. It was the biggest dread on my to-do list but I did it because you said so lol. 😅
I get this was posted awhile ago but i laughed when Heidi said about your brain not believing you as i also believe this in relation to positive affirmations. I think growth mindset thinking is really helpful but i also have embraced coping statements. For example, ''I can do hard things'' or ''this is manageable'' or ''this feels frustrating but i am going to keep trying'' etc
THAT'S IT!! I HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON (MY) ACTS OF SERVICE....TO MYSELF. This language is actually higher UP in importance to me than I thought!!!! Attack the thing that would be MOST beneficial to me if completed FIRST, Off Rip. Though in relationships to others quality time is be #1, in relationship TO ME Acts of Service is my ACTUAL #1 and believe my subconscious has finally delivered that message to my conscience: Its about balance!
Regarding Acts of Service, if the frog that you have to eat is the job itself... not a task, not a couple checkboxes that will make the day go better. Rather, it's the act of going to your job and doing what you do at your job. I don't know if Acts of Service is one of my languages though. I don't know what they are
Ooo and what I’m doing today to show myself some love is journal for a bit about what I want from life and how things are going then I’m going to be mindful of what I eat do laundry first and then I’m going to go get some headshots for myself which will help me move forward in acting. My love languages in order based on what I learned here I think are acts of service, quality time, touch, gifts and then words of affirmation is last.
👍🏾Exactly what I was thinking.Thank you for such a great rewarding youtube channel.I never knew what self love is. Then, just like you say, stand and look at yourself in the mirror and say nice things to yourself. Been feeling weird.
The Truth reveal: My bottom 3 LLs I associated with myself in relationship to OTHERS: Acts of Service, Gift Giving, Physical Touch, ARE what I needs in relationship to MYSELF. 😮😮🤯🤯🤯 unbelievable. Balance and Harmony. This going deep, because it's seem every girl I was interested in had one of these as there top 2 LLs. (Subconscious controlling the conscious, right there. Damn. I was really crying out to myself but I wasn't getting the message)
Funny story, Heidi... I recently bought your INFP Survival Guide book for my wife whom I've been struggling to type for the last 10+ years (I'm pretty convinced I've nailed it now). I was talking to her just last night and she said she looked at your website and was thinking of getting your INFP Survival Guide! I busted out and had to spill the beans. Considering this video's subject, how cool is that? On a side note, she told me she saw you are also an NLP and Hypnosis master pract. Perhaps it would be interesting to collab or something. Small world. lol
Great video! I really needed this knowledge and understanding, so thank you! My two most important love languages are acts of service and quality time. This video was an eye opener as to how I can use them to care for myself.
I've watched this video multiple times. Thanks for the valuable insights. I would share this video with all my FB friends, but I have a boundary around the f word since I work in customer service and customers use that word against me in a negative way, so I am averse to it, even though that word is just a drop in the bucket of all the thousands of uplifting and empowering words you shared with us. Words are my top love language, so I was meeting that self-care need but missing the boat on service by procrastinating. Thanks for sharing authenticity with us and making my life better from absorbing your wise perspectives. ~INFP
Affirmations have to be integrated with some kind of embodiment like tapping , or going into the shadow that rejects the positive affirmation. The whole point of affirmations is saying I AM ( in the now ) not I WILL (future based )
Hi Heidi, I am so grateful for all your videos. I was wandering, if there is also a way of regarding and distinct complex lovetypes for example touch and quality time meaning doing a activity together line a dance class or cooking togerher. I also weder if poeple can give and receive in diffren languages? Tnis video was definitely an enlightment forme. Thank you so much.
"Eat That Frog" is a book by Brian Tracy. But it's actually kind of a misunderstood quote by Mark Twain. "If you eat a live frog first thing in the morning, it's unlikely anything worse will happen to you the rest of the day." Interestingly, I also remember that book recommending affirming that you love yourself!
As an INFP whose first love language is physical touch, I was just wondering to myself whether Si types might be more inclined towards that language, because of the comfort angle.
So I was raised very religious and our family emphasized daily personal prayer. But looking back on that now, I realize that was actually a form of self love. It was quality time spent with myself where I would basically practice having a compassionate mindset about my shortcomings and various concerns in my life and maybe even seeking out internal words of encouragement.
God was there, loving you, teaching you how to love yourself.
@@MrsAngloOrtho I would appreciate it if you wouldn't try to God-wash my past experiences. Thank you.
@@MrsAngloOrthogod you’re weird
Words: Affirmations based on progress and growth that feel emotionally true.
Quality time: time to relax/rest or enjoy something with no interruption/multitasking and guilt
Service: do something first thing in the morning that really supports you, that could alleviate something that stresses you
Gift: I see you and what you’re going through and this is my way of supporting you (something you need or are excited about)
Physical touch: respect your body with love and treat you with comfortable things that feel good in a sensory way
Heidi , you say acts of service is your second to last love language , however it seems like every second you take to create and share your videos is in itself an act of service . I am grateful to you and you openness and your dedication . Consider this my act of service to you . Thank you Heidi .
I feel like another component of quality time with yourself is to be intentional with what you do. Don’t set aside an hour of alone time just to mindlessly scroll social media and dither around the house. Do something that you love or will be helpful.
That's why the word "quality" is used❣️
Touch is my love language and through watching this I realise, as I've been working on myself and trying to heal my various trauma wounds, I now know that I've already begun giving myself the touch that I crave. I recently started a skincare routine every morning to help with my rosacea. I've been able to keep up with that routine, because not only does it help my skin look better....but my skin FEELS GOOD now!! Every now and then I like to touch my cheeks and notice how much smoother and softer my face feels. Also, after suffering years of eating disorders and restrictive diets, I'm now allowing myself one hot chocolate each evening and just really paying attention to how good the warm sensation feels in my body. Also....eating when I'm hungry is a big one I had to consciously teach myself how to do. I had to re-learn how to enjoy food again.
This is a truly brilliant insight and the whole video is filled with practical and down-to-earth wisdom that should be common sense but is actually unique. Heidi you have a real gift and I'm not sure you fully realize how special it is yet.
Totally agree. Her way of explaining is unbelievably clear and she is full of knowledge that truly makes a difference for people
This is the best video I have ever seen on self love and the love languages. Spent 5-7 years trying to really understand HOW to love myself and feeling guilty that the affirmations don’t really work but you have done something amazing for me by giving me clarity around these concepts. Love you for this video and the one about how to love yourself. Watching them on repeat lately ❤🎉👏🙏
I'm a touch dude, I started workout with this mindset and now my body demands it when I procrastinate 🤦🏾 he realised it's my way to give him a big hug so he's longing for more 🤣💪🏾 having a cuddly dog helps too 🥰
Acts of service is my top love language, but it's the one I use the least towards myself. What a great new perspective! This makes so much sense, and I'll definitely give this a shot.
3:02 words of affirmations
5:45 quality time
9:59 acts of service
13:25 gifting
18:06 touch
I LOVE the advice for Touch (one of my top love languages). It blew my mind when I realized that those were things I started a few years ago I 100% agree with you assessment ❤
Hah - I knew you were Canadian! 😂
You have a real gift for giving the tools necessary to implement change. A lot of people can explain the abuse (the reason why we got fucked up, and the insight is useful but not enough), but very few can explain the tools needed to change, in such a concise, understandable and useful way. I raise a Moosehead to you - thanks Heidi❤
The sixth love language is self growth content 🌳
Listening to this video today is my gift to my self. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience with the world
it is interesting what you say about Eating the Frog. I recently heard the advice, as an ENFP to never eat the frog and start your day with sth you love. Bc ENFPs become motivated by doing things they love and get sad with the mundane things (which are often those frogs...). That helped me a lot to strukture my day and to accept my avoidances without that guilty feeling of not being able to routines. But thinking of it as an act of (self-) love does make it into a "reasonable" reason to eat that frog. (ENFPs always need a "Why"). Thank you for that hint :)
I just understood why moving my body and eating food that makes me feel good is so emotionally important for me. my absolute top love language is touch. thank you!
Wow, this completely changed my perspective on self-love. Everything you said resonated a lot with me.
In terms of gifts, one thing that I’ve found to be excellent is buying myself a massage or ordering myself a pizza, but doing it like 2-3 months in advance. That way I not only have ample time to fit that thing into my budget - I also always have something to look forward to coming up and that can get me through a lot of bullshit.
That is a fabulous idea!! Borrowing this tactic, now! 🙏
i definitely felt the same confusion when people talked about self love because i wasn’t actively harming myself but i read somewhere that in a relationship with another person the absence of harm does not equal the presence of love and that changed the way i thought about it and all these tips are super helpful!
what you said about the physical touch love language just blew my mind. It's one of my main love language and what you say make so much sense, I never though about that before. Will apply that ASAP
My main love language is quality time, but all five love languages are so important to my overall well-being. Still, I 100% need quality time to feel truly connected to someone.
Hi Heidi. Words of affirmation is my second top language and I still didn't buy into the ''manifest and tell nice things'' movement because it felt like self gaslighting. Also thanks so much for taking the time explaining gifts. I had a very bad relationship with gifts as my parents used to gift me stuff I didn't really want (to show me they love me) and I had to give gifts on special occasions wether I liked it or not. Sometimes, they even bought the gift and give it to me so I can give it back so I grew up making no connection between gifts and expressing love. Also I cried when you explained touch because that's my top love language and I fell stuck. Besides, I realized how me neglecting my body was felt as hatred to me since it's my top language. What you are sharing with us makes so much sense and I am very grateful to you for finding and sharing a true and pratical way to build an healthy relationship with ourselves. ❤
I love the point about how self affirmations can only work just so much:: our SUBCONSCIOUS mind is powerful ❤️ We need to be taking action or trying our best to take action. So “i am learning to instill habits to be successful” is way better than “i am alrdy successful now” yess
I just noticed that I get super relaxed just from listening to you and watching you facial expressions and gestures. As I thought about why I remembered Joyce´s video about the 9 ENFP enneagram types and it clicked for me that you being an 8w7 and me being an 7w8 ENFP we have a strong overlap but your example and your speech just viscerally helps me to actualize my 8w more and is totally grounding me. Also I love the way you develop your ideas. The way you speak is super logical and to the point, which I guess is your strong Te. And so I can just completely follow your structure and communication style and kind of be thinking along as if I was listening to my inner voice.
Keep it up Heidi. I love your stuff :)
Your insights are goldennnn. You’re definitely my healthy ENFP role model 😍
My love language is Quality time then affirmations than acts of service. Than very bottom is touch followed slightly behind gifts.
To love my self today I'm watching these videos as a step to learning how I can. Thing 2 I'm going to do is go for a walk. Spend time with myself.
I think tapping is a kind of physical touch self love. It is also nice to give yourself a hug and pat yourself on the back, or squeeze/pat your arm to comfort yourself.
Great ideas! I also love a self-massage. Use a foam rollers, trigger point massage ball or massage gun.
Brilliant explanation for cognitive dissonance… your brain will reject what it does not believe to be true…- love this..!!
That part on quality time is GREAT…I always felt so charged and energetic after spending time doing nothing without guilt I named it “ the hour of sweet boredom “ i just sit and observe my emotions and my thoughts…I didn’t know the psychology behind it! all I knew was it worked..I thought cause I got rid of so much dopamine realising activities..now I know why
Thank you!❤
I think you said something in this video that I think is often overlooked. Space. The word, the act, the void, and releasing the fear of the unknown and emptiness of which the space creates, turning that fear to acceptance and allowance of the unknown. Perhaps this is what true receptivity is. I’ve been watching your videos for a while and I’m 53. You are me. I am you. Please continue what you’re doing. I believe that in 50 years time, your books will be among the canon of Bolby, Miller, Walker, et. al. Thank you for teaching me how to love myself. lastly I’ve been in therapy on and off for over 30 years, have had the most amazing therapist from the beginning who has guided me throughout my life and given me a tool chest to work with, you have shown me how to use them again as they were a little rusty.
❤❤❤
My way of thinking about affirmations, is that the goal you tell yourself isn't literal. "I am successful." " I have the Job, the car, the lover, or x, y, z." Our body's responses are objective to reality. A good example would be sensory deprivation tanks. Where people claim to have astral projected. That dream or place they go, their brain is lighting up to those events as if they're actually happening to the body. I suppose this also slips into the paradox of "I won't be happy until..." What affirmations is, IS about overriding that inner critic. You can have that happiness, that joy, now. It just doesn't make sense to deprive yourself. Life is entirely transient. Keep heading for the things you'd LIKE to have, but don't forget to enjoy the journey and LOVE yourself along the way. There's no point in holding back that love.
Lastly, "I'm heading in that direction." etc. I think often we forget to move ourselves past that stage of thinking and find ourselves on the hamster wheel. "I'm going to take care of myself." to "I am taking care of myself." Regardless if presently up until that moment you haven't.
Such wisdom. Thank you, Heidi. Setting aside guilt-free time for my own pursuits is the hardest for me, but has the greatest impact.
Heidi, you’re the only person I’ve ever heard vocalize the issue I have with EFT (emotional freedom technique).
In your description of using affirmations to affirm things you know to be untrue. When you described the inner critic coming out when you’re telling yourself affirmations that don’t resonate it was a light bulb moment for me. EFT feels like sandpaper on my brain for that same reason!
my language of love is quality time, language of affirmation and gifts. i love the idea to use these concepts loving oneself
I love your intro, how self-love shows up more in the language of words of affirmation. Very insightful.
I also see how misunderstood and misrepresented gift is. It’s my sister’s main love language and what I’ve come to understand is that it’s actually celebrating what makes an individual unique, celebrating the quirks, showing appreciation for who they are and what they like independently of the work they put in others.
My main one is acts of service. While theoretically eating the frog feels like it’s something that would be great, for me it feels too much of a step-up. Plus, first thing in the morning, I have zero time with my kids being so young. I’ve been testing out as a daily practice "what’s something I could do in 5 minutes or less now that would save me an hour’s worth of trouble later?". As for these big tasks, it works better for me to bunch them up in an admin day.
I love love love your advice for words of affirmation, which is my second language. Spot on, actionable and realistic
You know what? My love language is physical touch, and I hadn’t noticed how good i feel when i do things that are pleasing to my senses e.g. buying a new perfume or taking a long bath or adapting new skin care routines until today! Thanks Heidi🤗
Your ENFP Soul Bootcamp course has been the BEST GIFT Ive given to myself in a long time...
This is so awesome! I always thought of self-love more as a feeling toward myself of appreciation and enthusiastic support. But this is definitely leveling it up. I love the "There is no substitute for self-love". This is so related to boundaries too. I'm going to have to really sit with this, I can't immediately identify my top Love Language and they all make sense to me. I'm an ENFP and have always struggled with self-care and any kind of "maintenance" task because it's "boring", but now I am realizing I struggle with taking in love and that's probably more the real reason. So this is a great way to practice working on that. Yay! (I'm going to do PDS also thanks to your recommendation in a video. And I'm going thru the ENFP Bootcamp right now.) Thanks!!
How was the bootcamp?
RUclips has been holding out on me for almost 3 years! 😊 love your shared history and experience material.
I NEEDED THIS 👏🏼 My 🩷 language is Words of affirmation, but I don't like the idea of just saying njce things to myself that I will end up rejecting.
This is by far the best info I have ever heard on this subject!! Thank you!!!
Love this video! Great way to look after yourself right through your love language
Loved this Video! Simple concepts but mind blowing!!! My #1, love language is quality time. I feel guilty to take a break because at times, work, family, kids so overwhelming at times. So thanks for that explanation, I am scheduling time just for me without guilt!!!
It's great to see you again. Take care.
Oh my gosh,wow! I do believe we have the same love language in our top "slot" which is quality time, so to speak,and lately (or the last few months even) i have forced myself to enjoy meals without distractions if possible. Now, it is difficult often because i tend to listen to playlists while i eat, and i'll be curious about the melodies or songs i listen to, so i would get up to go see those things. Naturally this disrupts my flow of peace.... Not the best.
Gifts for myself have been huge on my mind lately, specifically around kitchen items or comforting clothing. Been needing silverware for so long, because i feel tired of using non-stick pans( i really feel awful using them, toxic). I do get tempted by so much though,hehehe!
Whew, you helped me see my own love languages much more clearly. You made me consider, that perhaps touch might be my second favorite language too! If not first, because i truely,deeply resonated with the softness or comfort of things (clothing,one more time). This is very good,thanks Heidi!
Like others here I want to thank you for your bravery and acts of service. They are a wonderful contribution to the world❤
Amazinggg. Finally PRACTICLE ways and SPECIFIC EXAMPLES of self love! I love thisss.
I rlly like physical touch: Warm/cozy/silk/flowy/soft things are really nicee for me, esp to learn to connect to my Se function.
I also lovee dancingg
And acupuncture
Oh and skin care❤️
"Show the F up for your self."❤❤❤❤❤❤ This video just made me love you!!!😊 I've watched upwards of 20 plus videos from you so far. But this video in particular...❤❤❤
I am binge watching your channel this summer! And I have told my year group in Counselling school about your great channel. Keep up the amazing work and God bless!
Self love is "me time" done right. I am perplexed because i am very balanced in the love language tests. As a man i recognize I'm partial to physical touch but not much. The other 4 are very important to me also, and they kinda all get in line to "quality time".
I find it's difficult to find people to connect with because so many are traumatized by life and not very aware how it comes out of them with their company/community.
Wow! That's life changing!! Now I understand! Thank you so much, darling! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Very good insights on how to spend time with ourselves and give to ourselves which is very important.
Quality time is my 1st love language.
Gifts would be my last unfortunately not know in the past about different love language styles.
I probably without knowing it hurt people I cared about by not giving them gifts or being under enthused when they gave me a gift.
ah, interesting, I initially got familiar with and practiced affirmations as a tool to fostering believe in myself and self-trust. But only with the words I actually believe in, at least on the rational level. The idea to tell myself the direction feels very right and helpful. It is much easy to believe in
Also with acts of service!!!@@!! Rupaul in Guru talks about showing up for yourself (honestly the best audiobook, only an hour long but has everything). As in - dressing up and looking nice "putting on your Sunday best" for you child.
Thought boundaries. Letting go of mind wandering and being present. Earlier today I started and then you put it into words. Thank you.
Gonna watch this again and again. Love the touch one
I just stopped and took out the loads of boxes and trash I have from moving. It was the biggest dread on my to-do list but I did it because you said so lol. 😅
I get this was posted awhile ago but i laughed when Heidi said about your brain not believing you as i also believe this in relation to positive affirmations. I think growth mindset thinking is really helpful but i also have embraced coping statements. For example, ''I can do hard things'' or ''this is manageable'' or ''this feels frustrating but i am going to keep trying'' etc
THAT'S IT!! I HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON (MY) ACTS OF SERVICE....TO MYSELF. This language is actually higher UP in importance to me than I thought!!!! Attack the thing that would be MOST beneficial to me if completed FIRST, Off Rip. Though in relationships to others quality time is be #1, in relationship TO ME Acts of Service is my ACTUAL #1 and believe my subconscious has finally delivered that message to my conscience: Its about balance!
Brilliant explanation of the 5 love languages for self love. You are truly charismatic in conveying psychology to us.
OMG, I appreciate you immensely!!! ❤
Wow. This video is amazing. Thank you.
SUBLIME! Thank you. This makes so much sense
Regarding Acts of Service, if the frog that you have to eat is the job itself... not a task, not a couple checkboxes that will make the day go better. Rather, it's the act of going to your job and doing what you do at your job.
I don't know if Acts of Service is one of my languages though. I don't know what they are
I’d love to see (or listen since it’s a podcast haha) Heidi Priebe on Dualistic Unity!
Ooo and what I’m doing today to show myself some love is journal for a bit about what I want from life and how things are going then I’m going to be mindful of what I eat do laundry first and then I’m going to go get some headshots for myself which will help me move forward in acting. My love languages in order based on what I learned here I think are acts of service, quality time, touch, gifts and then words of affirmation is last.
👍🏾Exactly what I was thinking.Thank you for such a great rewarding youtube channel.I never knew what self love is. Then, just like you say, stand and look at yourself in the mirror and say nice things to yourself. Been feeling weird.
I loved this video! I’ll definitely be more mindful of honoring my love languages with myself.
The Truth reveal: My bottom 3 LLs I associated with myself in relationship to OTHERS: Acts of Service, Gift Giving, Physical Touch, ARE what I needs in relationship to MYSELF. 😮😮🤯🤯🤯 unbelievable. Balance and Harmony. This going deep, because it's seem every girl I was interested in had one of these as there top 2 LLs. (Subconscious controlling the conscious, right there. Damn. I was really crying out to myself but I wasn't getting the message)
🙏 Thank you for inspiring and empowering others! I’m ditching the feeling of being a burden and let others drive me to places I wanna go 😊
I love your channel so much. The way you express things makes so much sense.
Funny story, Heidi... I recently bought your INFP Survival Guide book for my wife whom I've been struggling to type for the last 10+ years (I'm pretty convinced I've nailed it now). I was talking to her just last night and she said she looked at your website and was thinking of getting your INFP Survival Guide! I busted out and had to spill the beans. Considering this video's subject, how cool is that?
On a side note, she told me she saw you are also an NLP and Hypnosis master pract. Perhaps it would be interesting to collab or something. Small world. lol
Great video! I really needed this knowledge and understanding, so thank you!
My two most important love languages are acts of service and quality time. This video was an eye opener as to how I can use them to care for myself.
I've never stopped to think about it, but I think my love languages are: 1. Quality Time, 2. Gifts
Love these new perspectives! Thanks for making this Heidi :) glad to see you’re back making vids
I've watched this video multiple times. Thanks for the valuable insights. I would share this video with all my FB friends, but I have a boundary around the f word since I work in customer service and customers use that word against me in a negative way, so I am averse to it, even though that word is just a drop in the bucket of all the thousands of uplifting and empowering words you shared with us. Words are my top love language, so I was meeting that self-care need but missing the boat on service by procrastinating. Thanks for sharing authenticity with us and making my life better from absorbing your wise perspectives. ~INFP
This is brilliant. Spot on. Thank you.
This is truly brilliant and insightful, thank you for sharing this!
Your relationship mistakes of enfp video helped me
Affirmations have to be integrated with some kind of embodiment like tapping , or going into the shadow that rejects the positive affirmation. The whole point of affirmations is saying I AM ( in the now ) not I WILL (future based )
I love this so much you are really the best
Really good advice,thank you!
great perspective on the feelings of self-love from an affirmation stand point :) awesome video
I loved this video and will come back to it. Can't wait to implement many of these tips, thank you :)
Thank you for this video! A fresh perspective! :)
18:06
My love language is physical touch :)
Thanks!
1 short walk a day and two sets of push ups for a week. My love language is time and touch.
I really appreciate you Heidi, thank you so much x
This is such an interesting and helpful explanation! Thanks!
What an interesting topic. 👍
Hi Heidi, I am so grateful for all your videos.
I was wandering, if there is also a way of regarding and distinct complex lovetypes for example touch and quality time meaning doing a activity together line a dance class or cooking togerher. I also weder if poeple can give and receive in diffren languages?
Tnis video was definitely an enlightment forme. Thank you so much.
"Eat That Frog" is a book by Brian Tracy. But it's actually kind of a misunderstood quote by Mark Twain. "If you eat a live frog first thing in the morning, it's unlikely anything worse will happen to you the rest of the day." Interestingly, I also remember that book recommending affirming that you love yourself!
ur good at this
You’re something else.
This is soooooooo awesome!!!!!!!
As an INFP whose first love language is physical touch, I was just wondering to myself whether Si types might be more inclined towards that language, because of the comfort angle.
If you ever come to England, please come stay with me xx
💙💙💙 Love your videos
AMAZING! ❤❤