Loss & Grief: A Look at Amelia Hughes from Infinity Train (Character Analysis)
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- Опубликовано: 12 фев 2021
- Happy Valentines Day, everyone! What better way to celebrate love than discussing the loss of a loved one and the pain and grief that follows? 😅 In this video, I delve into Amelia Hughes, aka the false conductor of the Infinity Train, and dig into her experiences of grief through the lens of death experts Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler, authors of "On Grief and Grieving."
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Hey, friends! Just wanted to say I'm SO excited that we got the announcement for Book 4! I'm planning another Infinity Train discussion stream on my Twitch channel this Saturday, this time in the morning so hopefully folks from other time zones can join. Join me and my buds as we scream over the hype! Follow me at twitch.tv/omgitskavi
I’m happy we’re getting book 4
I think the biggest tragedy of the show's cancelation was that, in either Book 5 or later, we could have had a Hazel/Amelia centered season. A whole ten-episode spread of the pair (and possibly others) managing to help Amelia move on, to help her let go & accept both her loss, but also the possibility for new friendships and connections.
It's not silly. I had unimaginable grief when my cat passed away. She was up and walking then the next, gone on my bed. I couldn't cope for awhile, she was with me for every milestone in my life.
So sorry for your loss! I totally get how you feel. Pets are definitely like family. One great point the book makes is that you can’t compare peoples different losses and experiences of grief since it is so personal. Losing a pet can be extremely painful. Thanks for sharing your experience!
@@OmgItsKavi Thank you so much for the condolences. She has left a hole in my heart. Like Amelia had said, there is a hole in the universe where she was. And what Tulip said, I had to adapt to the changes. I was 9 when I got her and I was 26 when she passed.
I was pretty young but when I lost my dog (I think I was 8)I remember crying through the night while holding on to her
@@noahhager1187 I'm so sorry for your loss 💔
I've experienced a loss I don't fully understand. I was bullied a lot growing up for my appearance and voice. Not only for when I present female like assigned at birth but as masculine as well. I was stuck in a neutral state to protect myself. Now I feel I've lost those years to figure out my gender identity let alone how to express it. No matter what I wear it feels fake.
That is certainly a form of loss, I've experienced similar. For me, I try not to dwell too much on what I've lost, and think about the years I have left, and what I want to do with that and the present moment. It's not always easy, but I try to remind myself!
My experience with loss is probably pretty tame tbh. Whenever I came out and my parents were... less than happy I really kind of lost my parental relationships. I just can’t love them the same knowing that no matter what I do they’ll likely never accept me. I still love and care about them, but after accepting that broken connection it’s very different.
Dealing with unaccepting family is definitely a form of loss, and I've been there before as well. Thanks so much for sharing your experience!
@@OmgItsKavi you’re every welcome. I feel like sharing my experience helps me process the emotions from it :))
I understand your pain. I finally came out to a few family members recently and while at first they were accepting, they soon went back to old habits, deadnaming me and misgendering me, making jokes about the LGBTQ community. It's shattering to find out that the love someone has for you is conditional.
When Book 1 came out, I couldn't relate to Amelia. Then my mother passed away suddenly in the space of a day, and then I could. That feeling of being made vulnerable and being stuck in "if only" I can say is real. I'm still kinda coming to terms with that, even a year later. The only reason I keep going, even if I'm still lost in the dark without a flashlight, is that I know she would want my to do something with my life, and throwing it away would be the biggest disappointment to her memory I can imagine. I kinda only wish my mind could move on since so far a lot of my dreams with her in them have a constant thought of "she's alive, and as long as I don't say it or even think it in the dream, then she won't be gone again." As recently earlier this month, that was one of my dreams I had with her of being in denial that she's gone forever and denying it in the dream world fixing it.
I can't wait to see what/if they do something with Amelia since I'd like to see how she finds her way out of the metaphorical darkness. I could see the ending coming to maybe where she's formed a connection with Hazel and even if her number gets down to zero and she's allowed to return home, she chooses to stay since maybe with Hazel she forms a new normal and is too disconnected from the world she came from for the past 33+ years. Or maybe something else will happen. Who knows?
That must be so difficult, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I think you’re doing the right thing by honoring her by continuing on your path forward. Thank you for sharing your experience ❤️
I lost a friend in a car accident a few months before Infinity Train came out, so I truly felt her pain. Oh, I remember all the guilt and bargaining I went through. It's hard.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. It's definitely very hard.
I never thought of her character as a rule breaker which now that you explain does make sense given her actions. I'm not someone who notices many hints in shows so I appreciate this video helping me understand one of my favourties even more.
There's arguments to be made about Amelia being a feminist from the 2nd wave, considering when she was born, when she boarded the train, her clothes and her independant thinking. This could help understand better her character
Hey, friends! Thanks so much for watching! I'd love to know, do you have any experiences with loss and grief you'd like to open up about? Like I mentioned at the end of the video, I first read "On Grief and Grieving" after my dog died in 2017. He died in an accident and I blamed myself for his death and didn't know how to deal with my blame and guilt. There's a whole chapter on blame in the book that really spoke to me, and while I still miss my dog, I at least know how to survive with the grief now.
Hi it's me the same angel from the live stream
He is my Syrian why you deleted if any train yearbook because it contains spoilers for book 4 Windows new images were part of book for and that's the reason why it was deleted so people can go into the books blind at least that's my speculation for you meaning this is probably going to be a flashback season that pictures in between the past and the present Guess the Emoji Love cast and what she's doing in the present as well and it's so perfect that I'm commenting this on who is probably going to be the main character in book 4 I'm just so excited that this is official
My boyfriend, who I lived with for 8 1/2 years, died unexpectedly a year a couple months ago. He is actually the person in my profile picture, with our cat, whom I still have. It was (and still is) the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, nothing else even comes close, not even the loss if my grandmother (who had been my favorite person in the world, and was basically a 3rd parent to me) or the loss of my first cat (who I had gotten when I was about five and lived for 21 years)...there is literally no comparison. I still feel utterly gutted. I swear I'm only still around for the cat...it's a living piece of the life we'd had together, and it's very attached to me and honestly needs me...but it's a senior (in cat years) and is getting a operation later this month, and I know there's always a risk involved and I'm scared for the cat (and I guess maybe also myself). I do house guilt over my boyfriend's passing, because he was out of town and I had a bad feeling and was worried for him but I'm one of those people who always worries and he was one of those people who's always okay and always late..a free spirit type..so his not getting home when expected was normal and so was my worrying...so I kept pushing the urge to bug his friends in the town he went to to look for him, until I had a dream that he came home (it felt SO f-ing real) and woke up to find he had not gotten home...then later called his work to find he had not shown up...only Then did I start harassing people to look for him, and they found him, he was in his truck (getting ready to come home), unconscious, and barely breathing...he had had a heart attack or stroke, lost consciousness, and then gotten severe heat stroke from sitting in his truck on a hot summer day...his heart stopped once in the ambulance, and again at the hospital, they got him stable(ish) but his organs were already beginning to shut down and the only thing keeping him alive were all the machines...he was never going to wake up, he was vegetative. He and I had talked many times over the years that if something like that ever happened to either of us that we wouldn't want to "live" like that...his older brother (who I literally just met that day at the hospital because he lived in a different state) agreed and pulled the plug the next day. I'm still humbled by the fact that he'd somehow talked the hospital into letting me see my boyfriend one last time the day before he passed, considering that covid was in almost full swing at the time.
@@tylaquiljones That is a heartbreaking loss and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. You are an incredibly strong individual, thank you so much for sharing this 💚
Woah. That connection of Alrick and Alice in Wonderland, with Alice interacting with the *tulips*
Perfect Valentines day video
This was an amazing analysis video, I learned something coming out of this. I love how Amelia is written, with small details from her past, to specific dialogue choices that feel natural to her character. I was thinking about the part that said once you get over the loss, or at least find a healthy point in your emotions, you can still never go back to the same person, which is what we see in book 3, she is still torn by the loss of Alrick, but now she deals with it and most her problems with a more serious or sarcastic attitude. She’s able to comfortably work with Grace and tell the gang her story, with very little sadness.🥲 Good on her, I definitely think Hazel with help her heal more and possibly get off the train.😁
I think Amelia's story if there is a book 4 or movie about it won't start with her being the mom everyone expects her to be. In Book 3 as soon as she saw Hazel's true form, she was like "I was closer than I could ever imagine!" and "I suppose you're worth studying."
So what I think their story will be, I'll base on both Book 3 events, on the storyboard leak (spoilers if you didn't notice that in the yearbook), and on some speculation I've seen in a youtube video regarding Hazel and book 4.
Amelia goes to the caboose where there might be some tech (and maybe she's not the only human to work as staff, seeing as there are uniforms with the old One logo, of which she wears one).
Based on the storyboard leak, it seems Amelia doesn't need to have control over the train to make turtles. She already had a turtle denizen before forcibly splitting One. And there is what appears to be a war between the turtles (the hardshell-softshell war before Aloysius III became their uniter/emperor?) This means Amelia could start meddling with the train technology again in book 4, but with more accuracy by studying what Hazel is made of. This could result in Amelia making copies of Hazel's code and, if that image in the yearbook isn't just some inside joke like the Link parody, Amelia might end up creating clones of Simon and Grace. In Book 3 Hazel says she's 6 1/2 years old. Grace says she met Amelia 7 years ago (and the Steward appeared to be scanning her before giving Amelia the orb). Then about half a year later Grace met Simon, who was running away from a ghom. The timeline kind of checks out. Also Hazel's clothes kind of look like toddler Simon's and her hair color/shape looks like a mix between toddler Simon & Grace's, same for her skin tone. She may have even had socks & sandals that she got rid of, which might be why she's barefoot.
Now on to Samantha the Cat, who even has a book-safe with a paw on it that makes it look like a hint for book 4. She doesn't know Amelia has changed. She hates & fears her, and the last thing she heard was that Simon & Grace were hanging out with Amelia. And usually we get clues not just for the protagonist but also the antagonist in episode 7. So Samantha could become the antagonist after thinking Amelia somehow wiped the memories of Grace & Simon and took Hazel with her. This might cause a war between Amelia and Samantha. Also, Amelia, Hazel, & Samantha all have lost someone they cared about. Which might be why Book 4 could focus on all 3 of them.
Then at some point Amelia could get a new tape extracted from her head, and it would show her past on the train. Tape journeys are usually reserved for episode 9, but if it would be a movie, I'd expect it to be shown toward the last part of it. It might also be where it could show those other 2 new characters, the teenagers with the music instruments. Which could be a book 5 setup for a time period in the early 2000s when Amelia was still the False Conductor. But if the movie is the last thing we'd ever see (and if we ever get to see it at all), I guess any new characters introduced may not even matter.
Update: So the 2 characters in the yearbook that look like Grace & Simon are just old art of Grace & Simon. Source: twitter.com/jessiewongg/status/1294319590248349704 Though we still have to figure out what's up with Hazel's similarity to kid Grace & Simon.
Love your speculation!!
@Katie Lewis Yeah, they did, though she wasn't among the kids in Book 2 and they didn't look any older in Book 3 so they couldn't have had a kid of that age unless the train did some time-traveling stuff. The question still remains if they had anything to do with the way she turned out appearance-wise or if she was entirely built out of Amelia's memories. In Amelia's tape the dance memory has two people of color who may have influenced Hazel's appearance.
I just finished the video and those quotes are going to get stuck in my head for i while. I was looking for youtube fun and now i feel better about myself, thank you! Now i want to read that book
I'm also happy to see more of you, great video!
This video gave me flashbacks to the time of one my dad's friends gave me that book because he thought I was mourning. I was just emo.
Did you read it?
I actually thought it was emila under the hood and was thinking in my head the whole time tulip it’s now alric lol I didn’t know other people thought it was him too I thought it was one of the things where the audience knows something but the characters don’t
*Not
I think I was fooled that it was Alric instead of Amelia. I might have considered it to be either one while going through the tapes but the moment Tulip thinks it’s Alric I think I was fooled by it a bit. I think I thought that it wasn’t Alric right before the reveal because it would be too obvious and there was a reason we weren’t seeing Amelia’s face
I think part of the reason why Amelia thinks she can’t ever get off the train is partly because she doesn’t want to live in the real world without Alric(idk if I spelled his name correctly)
This is a great video! I really hope there’s a book Four.
It's here
Okay. So literally just found your channel 20 minutes ago after binging other Infinity Train videos. I love that the videos start with "if we ever get season 4" as it was announced today! Hahahaha!!!
Amelia Hughes my beloved
Very thoughtful analysis! Loved hearing your thoughts on all this, I wouldn't have thought to look at Amelia through the lense of grief and loss as thoroughly as you did. They're some particularly heavy topics in times like these but your take on it all was measured and tactful :)
Wow! I didn't even realize you were at under 1k! You're so talented! Best of luck!
I have lost a friend, when I had a friendship breakup, and I feel like they were one of the few people to understand me and see value in me, and also something that I felt was important to me, was that I felt wanted by them. Because a lot of my friends in the past usually ditched me at some point or they barely made time to hang out with me and never seemed interested
Oh my gosh Hazel was remembering Emilia and Alricks memories!!!! I thought she was just being cute 🤦♂️
Why not both? :)
18:08 I know the planned fifth season/movie was supposed to be about Amelia and Hazel, and I've always just thought "yeah, that would be neat" but hearing your analysis of their stark contrasts in how they handled the death of a loved one...... now I'm kinda heartbroken that we won't get any continuation of this. T_T
I admit after losing a family member in 2019, I can understand the feeling of being lost after loosing someone
When I was very young, around 9 or maybe 10, my mother got very sick with bacterial meningitis and by the time we figured out it wasn't the flu, the infection was too severe to fix. She was in the hospital,comatose, for I think a week, maybe longer, before she was pronounced brain-dead and my dad decided to let her go. At the time, all I had was anger and despair, and it would have helped me a lot, I think, if I'd been able to see Hazel and Amelia's experiences with loss and grieving. It took me a long time to get past losing my mom, and in some ways I'm still not over it- can you fully get over losing a parent? I developed depression, and my anxiety worsened , which made making connections with others hard. Shortly after the funeral, my siblings and I got sent to another state and lived with our grandparents while Dad took care of selling the old house and other things. So I not only had my grief to handle, but also living in a new state, new town, and going to a new school while trying to be there emotionally for my younger siblings and adjusting to living with relatives I was used to seeing a few days at most every year or so. It was a lot, emotionally.
Losing a pet is a different kind of grief, in a way, because there's this weird societal expectation that you shouldn't be too attached to a pet and thus their death should be a minor thing. But when my dog died two years ago, I was very heartbroken.I was just coming back home to celebrate the 4th of July, only to receive the news via phone call on the way home that Toto had died. He was an old dog by then, we took him in off the street and he wasn't a puppy then, maybe 3 or 4 ? But we had a few good years with him- he was energetic and loved to cuddle and sit on your lap- he was a daschund, you know, a little weiner dog? A very loving boy. So instead of arriving home and having a fun time with family, I got home and was soon helping to bury the dog I grew up with. I still miss him a lot, and it pains me to visit my childhood home and realize my dog isn't coming running to greet me. I know he's not in pain anymore, and that's a comfort, but a small one. I hope you've had the comfort and support you needed in your grieving, and that you continue to have it, since grief is a process that takes a varied amount of time for each person.
My heart goes out to you, I can only imagine how hard experiencing that severe of a loss so young can be. You’re completely right that the process of grief looks different for everyone and also for the different losses we experience. Thank you for being so open and sharing your experiences 💚
Well Grace saw her number so presumably saw her outside the robot costume at some point
I’d like to see a vid about the yearbook thing Bc I have no clue what it is
I love this video!! it's so well done!!!
Another great video! I loved the tie in to the book and usage of the audio! I’ll have to check it out
This video
Is poggers, happy early Valentine’s Day.
Season4,baby!
Wait… why did she go to the top of a relatively tall building after her husband died? Was she gonna… Holy crap, that’s dark.
I liked the video. Good luck.
I think there's a lot coming in book 4
The relation between hazel and amelia already resembles that of a mother and her child and they have both experienced the loss of someone close to them
They will likely have a lot to share and, maybe, the sweet side of hazel will help break amelia's Shell even more ! They could even come out of the train together one day, who know ? Or maybe they won't and they will stay like grace did. Anyway, I'm really cooking forward the show's next season ! (please release it 😢)
I get the feeling Grace saw Amelia, part of her anyway. In the twisted memory we saw her holding out her arm to take one of the orbs. It's clear that Grace didn't understand what was going on, but likely saw Amelia while she was looting the other cars for her experiments. Although I do think Grace warped her memories herself after the fact when she kept lying to the other kids and may of forgotten some details.
Can you make a video on the year book snd delated stuff
This such a great look at the character! Keep up the good work!
i dont know if she would go past her lost, or connect with Hazel, but i know i wanna see how she take over the train, man if she think that One-one is a Peanut, it would have been pretty easy for her, once she start by controlling the steward. XDXDXD
Infinity train is green light finally!
It’s a crime that they canceled this show because I feel like Amelia’s story would be the perfect finale season arc with her finally learning her lessons and able to get off the train.
I’ve never quite experienced grief, but I’ve been through times of darkness and grey.
Something I really connected with in Amelia’s story is something that was intentionally alluded to and never directly stated, for the sake of remaining a PG show.
And that’s the little scene after Amelia is shown closing herself off from the small handful of people who were going to show up to Alrick’s funeral. Amelia goes to her old university alone, late at night, and it’s not to reminisce.
There’s a reason why the train decided to appear on the roof of the building and not the ground.
To take your own life is not a concept that should be delivered lightly.
And it’s one that I personally get defensive about when I see it explored in media. Because as someone who struggled with feelings that caused me to consider similar avenues, I want it to be given the recognition and seriousness it deserves.
I relate to Amelia’s sorrow that it caused her to consider a path that no one ever should. And I commend the writers for respectfully not shedding too much attention on those details.
Perhaps like Amelia, I can honestly say on those nights where I found myself on the roof of the building, I only wish a magic train appeared to force me into a journey of self-reflection in an infinite world of wonder and discovery.
But unfortunately we don’t get those. And for those still struggling, I can honestly tell you that a happy life beyond the darkness is possible. I’ve made it through and life is better now that it’s been earned.
That isn’t to say that we all don’t deserve life. But I guess you certainly appreciate something more after its been taken from you.
Anyway, it’s a bummer that Amelia’s story was never finished. It’s hard to wrap up a story like hers in a happy way. And when I found myself in her shoes I believed it was impossible.
But it is. And I wish we could all see her find peace and closure.
idk if I made any sense here. It’s hard for me to talk about this kind of stuff in a way that makes sense. And it’s harder to give hope to people who were in my shoes three years ago. Because I didn’t want to believe or listen to anyone then. I just couldn’t.
anyway, if you need help, they changed the suicide hotline number recently. It’s 988 now.
be well
Thank you for sharing your story and your words! I hope you are in a better place.
Please do infinity train book
WE NEED BOOK 5!!!
Please do a video on Simon
I successfully joined the discord, but I’m having trouble with the twitch link, it doesn’t seem to find the page. 🤷🏻♂️ idk, maybe the link isn’t updated? Not sure, but either way, I’m excited to be on the discord at least.🙂
Whoops, of course I didn't update those links! They should be correct now!
I hope her being with hazel could be like a mother arc
We are having a book 4 now
#Finishinfinitytrain
Amelia is hilarious in book 3
I wonder happy people can get on the train?
Not the sad one
Tell me have you ever played Elder scrolls morrowind ? it to deals with this kinda metaphysical questions as infinity train
0:11 okay it's not just me
I wanted to ask you something @OmgItsKavi can I make a tumblr post inspired by your video I will credit you for it
Sure! What's your tumblr? I'd like to see the post when you're done with it! :)
@@OmgItsKavi Thank you so much I finished it
@@OmgItsKavi my tumblr is lenanorth7
@@OmgItsKavi BTW I loveeeeeee your videos great job
@@OmgItsKavi it's an honor
thanks to everyone who sent this video to hbo max! they actually are going to give us a season 4! (/j)
the twitter link is broken
Whoops, thanks for catching that! It’s fixed now ☺️
Season 4 confirmed! *Squee*
Owo what's this