GOP Lawmakers Set To Skip Trump's Convention In Jacksonville As Florida's Covid Numbers Spike

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  • Опубликовано: 13 июл 2020
  • Key Republican lawmakers including Sen. Chuck Grassley and Sen. Susan Collins are indicating they will not attend the Republican National Convention in Jacksonville next month, presumably out of concern for their health as Florida's coronavirus problem spins out of control. #Colbert #StephenAtHome #Monologue
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Комментарии • 5 тыс.

  • @Chxrlotte
    @Chxrlotte 4 года назад +27

    For real though please never go away for two weeks again, we need you to make sense of all this insanity

  • @gigiwoe
    @gigiwoe 3 года назад +56

    I hope EVERYONE goes out and vote PLEASE this is the ONLY way to rid of this nonsense

    • @christinearmington
      @christinearmington 3 года назад +6

      rj I’ll gladly risk Covid-19 to vote his ass out.

    • @donm3844
      @donm3844 3 года назад +1

      I will vote and then we will just have 4 more years of more nonsense from out side so it won't be better even if trump is out of the picture I am afraid

  • @777Yoni
    @777Yoni 3 года назад +67

    My life in Florida is never boring...embarrassing but never boring.

    • @777Yoni
      @777Yoni 3 года назад +1

      @moereverie 000 Or I was merely making a joke.

  • @aztn19
    @aztn19 4 года назад +15

    The one thing I’ll honestly miss most when this show goes back to the Ed Sullivan Theatre is the pre-show banter he & his wife have with each other. Their joy for each other is infectious and palpable; that’s the type of chemistry I want to have with my wife someday!

    • @whitefly2
      @whitefly2 3 года назад

      Was he married to her when he went on the Epstein plane? I saw his name on the flight log but I don't know anything about him except that he isn't funny.

  • @paulkerrigan9857
    @paulkerrigan9857 4 года назад +155

    I love the happy little interactions between Stephen and his wife. I get the impression that they’re quite happily married. He’s such a smart, witty and funny man. I bet he reads a lot.

    • @sunnydaze2359
      @sunnydaze2359 4 года назад +19

      I think he is one of the most naturally funny night show hosts. He doesn’t have to read jokes from a script to make you laugh.

    • @deemaverick987
      @deemaverick987 4 года назад +22

      Me too. It seems he really loves her. That makes me happy.

    • @chezmoi42
      @chezmoi42 4 года назад +1

      True, not everyone would look in the mirror and say, "Ahh, oui, sexy comme BHL!"

    • @nunya5
      @nunya5 4 года назад +3

      I love the little laughs from Evie ( not sure if thats the right spelling).

    • @elacarnevale3348
      @elacarnevale3348 4 года назад

      www.globalresearch.ca/huge-covid-case-counting-deception-cdc/5717670?
      ruclips.net/video/yR1UKSTaesI/видео.html
      The attack on Extortion 17 came just three months after the Osama bin Laden kill, and both Obama and Biden had identified the team that took OBL out. Retribution was inevitable.Air Force Captain: "OBAMA CAUSED THE DEATH OF US MILITARY ...
      topstoriesusa.com/obama-caused-soldiers-deaths-in-extortion-17-tragedy/
      The Chinook's call sign was Extortion 17. U.S. Central Command's official investigation said that a rocket-launched grenade from a Taliban fighter struck the Chinook and sent the helicopter into a downward spin. The crash killed all 38, including thirty Americans and eight Afghans. Seventeen of the U.S. servicemen were Navy SEALs.

  • @punkaholia
    @punkaholia 4 года назад +123

    "Its a risk you have to take"
    It is absolutely not a risk you have to take. You already know who your nominee is. Its pointless.

  • @marc-andrerenaud1394
    @marc-andrerenaud1394 4 года назад +59

    Best use of the face melting scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark, ever. Bonus points for also establishing a parallel between Trump's administration and Nazis.

    • @whitefly2
      @whitefly2 3 года назад

      The only thing you know about the Nazis is what you saw on Raiders.

    • @marc-andrerenaud1394
      @marc-andrerenaud1394 3 года назад

      @@whitefly2 Funny, though completely off base. Having done my research I know that, historically, the Nazis were originally supported by the global community. The early efforts of the 3rd Reich did much to rejuvenate Germany's industrial infrastructure as well as the economy overall. It wasn't until Germany mobilised against France and Britain that nations started being alarmed.
      Unlike 1940s Germany and their leaders, the current US administration has done little to benefit its own population, except for the top 1%. Repression and racism are at an all time high; economic sanctions have done more damage to the internal economy than to the designated targets; financial disparity is growing; riots are ignored because they help to justify further repression; environmental regulations are being repealed while everyone is distracted by the aforementioned chaos. To top it all off numerous systems that should act as checks and balances, or aids to, a democratically run country are being systematically dismantled.
      Need I go on?

  • @CourierSixMojaveExpress
    @CourierSixMojaveExpress 3 года назад +29

    The best part of this show now, is hearing Stephen's wife giggling at his lame jokes. 😂😂😂 her laugh is adorable. 🤣

  • @ciaoalejandra7514
    @ciaoalejandra7514 4 года назад +86

    I love the hair Stephen! I’ve noticed a lot of talk show hosts shows are just awkward without an audience laughing.... yet I still find myself bursting out in laughter watching your show!! Thanks for giving us something to laugh about when there isn’t much to laugh about. Miss you tons and I hope one day I can watch your show live 💕

    • @annagettings4675
      @annagettings4675 4 года назад

      I accidentally clicked on an old studio clip the other day and it felt kind of surreal! This is sort of cosy.

  • @darrenskjoelsvold
    @darrenskjoelsvold 4 года назад +63

    I think that attendance must be mandatory. Come on Republicans, you forced Democrats to vote in Wisconsin for the primary, fair is fair here. Time for you to roll the dice you monsters.

  • @maryann6028
    @maryann6028 3 года назад +55

    ".... No lifes matter..." is exactly Trump's motto. And no humanity. Sad that is the "leader" of the United States.

    • @whitefly2
      @whitefly2 3 года назад

      Especially black lives they matter the least. Can't we send more guns to Chicago and Detroit along with double the Planned Parenthood locations.

    • @gladtobeangry
      @gladtobeangry 3 года назад +3

      Isn't he the embodiment of the american dream though? Born stinking rich and privileged without a chance of ever falling from grace, nor for anyone below you to ever rise to your level. It's not available to everyone, you have to be extra special, but if you are, America is there for you to take and take and take up every hole you want to take it.
      "But what if I'm not extra special?"
      Don't you worry, you can work as a serf for someone extra special your whole life and watch them enjoy the fruits of your sacrifice. What could be better than that?

    • @ladyzinada5341
      @ladyzinada5341 3 года назад

      People voted in a TV personality it's payback fah dat.

    • @whitefly2
      @whitefly2 3 года назад +1

      @@gladtobeangry Why is it Trump's fault that your parents were idiots and you are a chip off the old block.

  • @MrMp33420
    @MrMp33420 3 года назад +24

    "I'm comfortable with freedom of speech"... unless it's anything i don't like to hear 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

    • @unclepatrick2
      @unclepatrick2 3 года назад +1

      What is Donald Trump opinion on the first amendment for 2000, Alex ?

    • @1970brenz
      @1970brenz 3 года назад +1

      Welcome to today's MSM and social media philosophy school!! Perfect candidate.

  • @marieparis79
    @marieparis79 4 года назад +118

    Funny how I STILL hear those few piano notes when an imaginary object is "placed" offscreen...

    • @ThomasNimmesgern
      @ThomasNimmesgern 4 года назад +2

      What a looong time ago. Makes you feel old, I guess. ;-)

    • @mattjohnston2
      @mattjohnston2 4 года назад +4

      My brain is always anticipating it! 😂

    • @imanalius7691
      @imanalius7691 4 года назад +3

      I thought I was the only one!

    • @MatthewPettyST1300
      @MatthewPettyST1300 4 года назад +4

      Eve, his wife, should surprise Stephen with it by playing a recording of it and catch his reaction. It would be Gold to see it.

    • @Melissamoreau24
      @Melissamoreau24 4 года назад

      Me too!!! I thought it was just me!

  • @a.t.nelson1670
    @a.t.nelson1670 4 года назад +133

    I am so glad you guys are back. We, at my house, missed you guys while you were gone. Felt more like two months not weeks. Thank you for the laughs. It is so needed right now.

    • @shananigans08ify
      @shananigans08ify 4 года назад +2

      You have a house to quarantine in. Give thanks to the little things in life, we take for granted.

    • @a.t.nelson1670
      @a.t.nelson1670 4 года назад +1

      @@shananigans08ify I am an essential worker. The only thing that has changed for me is that now I have to go to work every day not knowing whether or not I'm going to bring a virus home. I am grateful for having a job and having money coming in. And I'm grateful for being O Negative because according to statistics apparently if we do get it it's usually not as severe. I just hope I don't accidentally pass it on to somebody else who's not so protected. Watching Stephen and the Jimmy's helps me to relax from that stress.

  • @KLBritts
    @KLBritts 4 года назад +33

    I live in Canada and in an area where we’ve only had 61 cases in our city and surrounding area. We have done weeks of different stages of openings and we still haven’t opened anything indoors yet for business i.e. restaurants malls theaters. Every couple weeks based on the numbers, we have adjusted the phases of opening. Next week we will be attempting are phase 3 of opening and that’s only now. This country never thought about opening things too early only to go backwards. What’s happening to you guys is everything we were afraid of.

    • @whitefly2
      @whitefly2 3 года назад +1

      Well professor if just one person has it then everyone will eventually get it won't they? Won't someone go somewhere and be exposed all over again?
      No pathogenic virus has ever been isolated not one. Not Measles or Mumps or the Flu or any other virus has ever been isolated using Koch's postulate the standard for a hundred years.

    • @joetaylor8602
      @joetaylor8602 3 года назад +2

      whitefly2 SARS was literally isolated by chance and died out.

  • @ruizmiriam2000
    @ruizmiriam2000 4 года назад +77

    Wait...OLD republicans not going??? Why the hell not?!?!? They believe it's all a hoax! They should go! They should go!

    • @lizadeeza
      @lizadeeza 3 года назад +10

      The more Republicans politicians that attend the convention, the better off our country will be in the long run! Where is their sense of patriotism? What a bunch of posers!

    • @jaejones8765
      @jaejones8765 3 года назад +2

      I wonder what would happen if they actually did go?

    • @tarrynlea
      @tarrynlea 3 года назад +7

      Hope Mitch is going :) Really not a good look for the Senate Majority Leader to be a no-show...

    • @lotharsoran3604
      @lotharsoran3604 3 года назад

      Obviously they matter and we dont.

    • @ladyzinada5341
      @ladyzinada5341 3 года назад

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 4 года назад +360

    "What kind of family has a confidentiality agreement?"
    An extremely corrupt one.

    • @katherinecompton6591
      @katherinecompton6591 4 года назад +11

      Hmm, as close to evil-minded, thoughtless and greedy as possible, kind of family? No decency, empathy, desire to learn one's entire life, be fair with others, that kind. ;)

    • @tiki_trash
      @tiki_trash 4 года назад +8

      Hit the nail on the head, Mr. New Message.

    • @CenterThePendulum
      @CenterThePendulum 4 года назад +1

      Clintons?

    • @CenterThePendulum
      @CenterThePendulum 4 года назад

      Jim Alley It’s written in suicides

    • @gayleelliott3319
      @gayleelliott3319 4 года назад +6

      @@CenterThePendulum Way to try to change the subject! Invoke the Clintons. . . . Out of step with the times, much? (As with most pro-Trump discussions, yours fizzled on the launching pad and never achieved lift-off. )

  • @wendymonette9958
    @wendymonette9958 4 года назад +33

    I loved the banter at the beginning between Stephen and Evie, when he opens his shirt collar and she immediately says "Stop it." and then he starts the show. That was hilarious. They are a great couple.

  • @LookingGlass24
    @LookingGlass24 4 года назад +56

    The hair’s phenomenal, Stephen. You look younger and much more interesting. It seems to affect your delivery positively and freshly too. Don’t fight it-let it be. Embrace it.

  • @Flowerbandit7
    @Flowerbandit7 4 года назад +38

    As someone who lives in Jacksonville, the thought of the RNC coming here, right now, is terrifying.

    • @petebradt
      @petebradt 4 года назад

      Whattsamatta Nazi, fear of doG got hold of your brain?

    • @wordzmyth
      @wordzmyth 4 года назад +7

      At least the trolls here you can ignore and not catch covid from :)

    • @schempgirl1
      @schempgirl1 4 года назад +4

      Stay safe out there

    • @headphonic8
      @headphonic8 3 года назад +2

      At least those old geezers will catch it when they visit

  • @evilgeniusy
    @evilgeniusy 4 года назад +286

    "I have ... things to do. In Kansas!" is going to be my new go-to excuse from now on.

    • @yarn7130
      @yarn7130 4 года назад +17

      “I’m sorry, I cannot marry you.. I have to go do... Kansas things.”

    • @jdhoward1438
      @jdhoward1438 4 года назад +14

      I'm sorry I cannot make the meetings today.....I have Kansas things to do...stuff....tornadoes won't polish themselves.........

    • @noeluna7354
      @noeluna7354 4 года назад +2

      Portland schools teach ancient useless shit{never has any1 ask me for a diploma before a job interview} that being sai As more advance technology becomes easily available folks have a difficult time adjusting, bulling is more frequently occurring because with media often can reach a larger audience, it has been brought to my attention that the majority of the public does not know the basic fundamentals of humans such as hate cannot form without insecurity or fear those are 1 of the 2 things needed to manifest such emotion an example would be Bob hates not having his car because of fear the ladies might think he is a looser, children scream "go kill yourself" in Portland I am surprised when I hear this is still going on 2019 parents often have an uncontrollable urge to protect their child from bulling & i know how difficult it is to stand by, hold back & not take justice into your own hands
      Parents often will say I must have my child learn how to fight their own battles I propose that head of Oregon school Director Colt Gill issue a requirement course up to PSY 301 to get a diploma in order to train children how to be better equipped to handle an unstable individual, usually after a shooting there will be students who say things like "we all knew it was going to be him" well if ya knew how come you let it happen, well that's cause children are not equipped with such skills to defuse hatred in other students and replace them with excitement for better cheap technology to come
      Having had experience with psychiatry they will be equipped with truth seeking, hostage negotiators, rehabilitation skills I’ve heard parents who do not wish their children to have bad experiences in high school & want them to be spared the agony with this proposition the chances of a child knowing less of the suffering that each generation went thru are 84% so long as it isn't an elective but a requirement to pass high school
      Some teachers have implemented Ted Talks videos in class rooms by asking students to watch one & write an essay on how it improved their understanding, results speak for themselves I have heard old war vets say "took us decades from the sixties, 80's finally we have produced something useful to better the world, these millennials.."
      I would like to pay these new teacher hours by increasing the tax on pot as it is an optional tax besides benders are always allowed to increase the price to cover the cost of operation unlike liquor stores this way the measure doesn't affect tax payers paychecks as buying pot is optional due to the fact that it is allowed to grow year-round
      In a new world where good folk can buy a 199$ 3D printing instructional kit, & possibly uTorrent a 9m with these new obligated courses in mind of students might be more likely to be beneficence nonmaleficence, have respect for people’s right and dignity’s resolving ethical issues, putting these courses in the path of young minds will possibly save lives in the future, thank you

    • @anthonyrobles4127
      @anthonyrobles4127 4 года назад +6

      Superman: Sorry Bats. I can't do monitor duty tonight. I have things to do, in Kansas.

    • @noelleelizabeth9991
      @noelleelizabeth9991 4 года назад +5

      The tornadoes aren't gonna polish themselves

  • @Dollightful
    @Dollightful 4 года назад +304

    He looks fantastic with the longer hair, if you ask me. Rock it, Stephen!

    • @rsoubiea
      @rsoubiea 4 года назад +7

      Dollightful his hair looks great, no fair. whose trimming it?

    • @peg202xo7
      @peg202xo7 4 года назад +9

      He's lookin downright sexy!!

    • @caroljomartin3051
      @caroljomartin3051 4 года назад +7

      I agree 100%!!!

    • @deesasster8827
      @deesasster8827 4 года назад +8

      How does he rock that great hair and seamlessly spout the name of French philosopher? I can’t remember the name of my second to last child. 😳

    • @ghislainedefeligonde5166
      @ghislainedefeligonde5166 4 года назад +5

      100% better than the Don jr. look he sported yesterday.

  • @EternalYorkieMom
    @EternalYorkieMom 3 года назад +84

    “It’s always worse in Florida.”
    Really should be our slogan

    • @whitefly2
      @whitefly2 3 года назад +2

      You could always go back to where you came from we in Florida have been trying to get rid of idiots like you for a good 40 years.

    • @christinestill5002
      @christinestill5002 3 года назад +6

      whitefly2 You in Fla. are renowned idiots ready to buy the most obscene Trump BS. You think DeSantis cares about u or the moron in charge?

    • @mstwelvedeadlycyns
      @mstwelvedeadlycyns 3 года назад +2

      TEXAS might have you beat with the way they are going! @Hannah Thompson

    • @unclepatrick2
      @unclepatrick2 3 года назад

      Georgia giving you some competition.

  • @periclesmarkakis6385
    @periclesmarkakis6385 3 года назад +7

    Stephen is rocking a luxurious mane at this point in time. Also, Evy is such a good sport with Stephen's shenanigans.

  • @iamjacksyoutube5375
    @iamjacksyoutube5375 4 года назад +466

    I love hearing his wife laughing in the background

    • @MTMF.london
      @MTMF.london 4 года назад +28

      If a man can make his wife laughing after all the years they have been married, he's definitely The Man.

    • @20mymysf
      @20mymysf 3 года назад +13

      I was just thinking that!! It's so adorable!

    • @mjennings2859
      @mjennings2859 3 года назад +5

      So do I. Stephen is nuts but a funny 😁 🥜

    • @jilianvan8165
      @jilianvan8165 3 года назад +4

      Stephen ~
      The Court Jester of
      our plague years.
      Bless him.

    • @rodshop5897
      @rodshop5897 3 года назад

      @jack brandt Aww, I'm sorry to hear that you will never be blessed by God.

  • @elaniarkady7351
    @elaniarkady7351 4 года назад +35

    I'm so glad you have someone sitting in the room for you to play off of. Its always fun to hear Wife giggles.

  • @khanzy82
    @khanzy82 4 года назад +61

    Maybe he's born with it. Maybe its quarantine. 😜 love the hair Steve!

  • @jenyj89
    @jenyj89 4 года назад +2

    When you said “better be ready for swamp ass” I lost it!!!!!

  • @terrierqueen4091
    @terrierqueen4091 4 года назад +685

    I much prefer the "fluffy" look over that "Don Jr." greasy 'do.

    • @cathieludemann5879
      @cathieludemann5879 4 года назад +33

      I think it makes him look younger! 😁

    • @itwasagoodideaatthetime7980
      @itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 4 года назад +15

      OMG! That hair! Stephen the Seventies called & they want their look back. 🤣

    • @michaelwertzy9808
      @michaelwertzy9808 4 года назад

      You're pretty messed up, I really hope you don't have any dogs. How's the "king" doing with the "queen"?

    • @Call-me-Al
      @Call-me-Al 4 года назад +3

      Looks like Danny Tanner's hairdo

    • @qpid8110
      @qpid8110 4 года назад +21

      Agreed. He needs to keep the fluff.

  • @sandraredmond7911
    @sandraredmond7911 4 года назад +22

    "Take it off at the end and NOMINATE MYSELF"...I howled at that one.

  • @bamagrl26
    @bamagrl26 4 года назад +8

    Stephen, I'm loving you in your home element, although I know the members of your STAFF need to get back to work. My Prayers are with your STAFF in hoping that they get back to work soon!!!

  • @OttoRappTheMystic
    @OttoRappTheMystic 4 года назад +114

    "Too much and not enough" the book by Mary Trump - the title is from the German saying "Zu wenig und zu viel, ist des Narren Ziel" - the second part translates: ".... is the way of the Fool"

    • @josh0g
      @josh0g 3 года назад +6

      Yeah, we have that saying here too, but it doesn't get used nearly enough.

    • @novembrluv
      @novembrluv 3 года назад +7

      Fitting.

    • @charlesr3351
      @charlesr3351 3 года назад +3

      Stunningly accurate

    • @suemintz757
      @suemintz757 3 года назад

      You know I iiiiiiiuiii

    • @suemintz757
      @suemintz757 3 года назад

      novemberluv was three

  • @raivengreen
    @raivengreen 4 года назад +26

    “one blip in the grave” has been my hardest laugh today.

  • @AtomicPuffin
    @AtomicPuffin 4 года назад +119

    Love how its fine for kids to go to school in a small room n bring the virus home but they don't want to go to a convention in a room. Hmmmm n yet they dont see the fking hypocricy

  • @kenzie-.-
    @kenzie-.- 3 года назад +18

    Trump called Florida a flare up in the Chris Wallace interview. Like hemorrhoids.

  • @johnorosz7477
    @johnorosz7477 3 года назад +17

    I love the hair, its going Dustin Hoffman's All the President's Men. I love hearing his wife laughing in the background and Trump really is a low-functioning sociopath. That's a perfect description.

  • @SKM6540
    @SKM6540 4 года назад +348

    Wow. That hair is majestic. Totally adds to a different vibe to the whole show and I kinda like it. You go Stephen!!!

    • @kiowa6057
      @kiowa6057 4 года назад +9

      Digging the hair ngl

    • @TangerineBliss
      @TangerineBliss 4 года назад +14

      I think it actually makes him look more youthful. 😄

    • @bearteeka4782
      @bearteeka4782 4 года назад +9

      Another vote for the hair!

    • @louisebodnar9206
      @louisebodnar9206 4 года назад +3

      damn ,Stephen,you look like a bad boy!

    • @jeneraljen
      @jeneraljen 4 года назад +1

      king

  • @somosgenel
    @somosgenel 4 года назад +68

    8:43 We are with you Doctor Fauci....... STAY STRONG AND KEEP SPEAKING TRUTH TO POWER....

    • @GLORYNEVADASMITH
      @GLORYNEVADASMITH 4 года назад +1

      somosgenel Dr. FAUCI is more like Professor Moriarty ... Like a Napoleon of Coronavirus.

    • @andreaperry938
      @andreaperry938 4 года назад +1

      Ditto!

  • @Bonsai529
    @Bonsai529 3 года назад +11

    These guys like Grassley sound like they are trying to turn down a creep who keeps asking them out.

  • @VFN556
    @VFN556 4 года назад +34

    Stephen Colbert with the longer hair style looks 10 years younger, and actually looks handsome as well as so HOT!

    • @amya1658
      @amya1658 3 года назад +3

      I love the look.l
      Nevers realized how handsome he was. He does look younger.

    • @niamerced9573
      @niamerced9573 3 года назад +1

      VFN556 agreed!

    • @whitefly2
      @whitefly2 3 года назад

      @@amya1658 He only does young boys sorry your out of luck.

  • @errgag3580
    @errgag3580 4 года назад +1093

    Mary Trump:.. My uncle president Trump paid a dude to take his SAT'S
    Anderson Cooper: .. I find that hard to believe!
    Mary:.. What, that he cheated?
    Anderson:..No, that the guy actually got paid!!

  • @zesty9815
    @zesty9815 4 года назад +29

    This monologue has far too many favorite moments to mention.
    4:01 _"That joke stays in."_ Good call.
    7:06 Definitely saw _that_ visual punchline coming!
    By the way: hair looks great!

  • @laurastevenson9380
    @laurastevenson9380 4 года назад +5

    He doesn’t need to reinvent the wheel, just follow what they did in other countries. America has been knocked off the board for months, it’s a plague nation. The geopolitical blow is horrifying.

    • @whitefly2
      @whitefly2 3 года назад

      Let's take Italy they just revised the death count because the people who died didn't die of Covid because Covid has never been isolated and if it has never been isolated you can't test for it.
      God people are so stupid these days and they have the internet to do their research on.

  • @reedr7142
    @reedr7142 3 года назад +16

    “Trump tends to lose interest on page...any.” So accurate!

  • @ugottabkidding1627
    @ugottabkidding1627 4 года назад +225

    When it comes to the upcoming GOP Convention, “GOP” stands for “Got Other Plans”.

    • @Lafever1883
      @Lafever1883 4 года назад +18

      When Trump give his speech to empty seats someone should put on the jumbo tron in the background Nelson Munce from the Simpsons pointing and going HA HA . On a loop.

    • @Velvetx4cove
      @Velvetx4cove 4 года назад +9

      @@Lafever1883 Yeeessss.

    • @emilyarmstrong83
      @emilyarmstrong83 4 года назад +7

      "I'd love to go, sir, but unfortunately I need to water my dog and feed my plants that day."

    • @worldcitizeng6507
      @worldcitizeng6507 4 года назад +5

      Love to attend but I need to wash my delicate clothes

  • @angbuhayko2641
    @angbuhayko2641 4 года назад +80

    Just requested for my mail-in ballot and I'll be receiving it as I was told, next week. Biden2020

    • @matthewmangum6320
      @matthewmangum6320 4 года назад +8

      I sure hope they get it to you in time to vote.

    • @lawrencesmith4960
      @lawrencesmith4960 4 года назад

      Isaac Kappy, an actor went Whitleblower.
      Kappy, named 8 Hollywood directors, including Colbert and Jimmy Falon as active pedofiles.
      Kappy spoke about being outed.
      Being quite upset, he explained that a dead man's switch had been set up with videos to be released, should he be murdered.
      Three days after saying this he was dead.
      They called it a suicide.
      Portions of videos were shown that subsequently were released.
      Not sure what came of them.
      The host of this show was directly called out.

    • @matthewmangum6320
      @matthewmangum6320 4 года назад +5

      Extremely random. Any real proof? Have you ever heard of being sued for defamation of character Mr. Lawrence? I would suggest an immediate retraction of your accusation towards all of the people you named in your poorly chosen statement. 🤔

    • @stevesloan7132
      @stevesloan7132 4 года назад +3

      Yah, I just left this video to request my mail-in ballot too, and then returned to watch the rest of the vid. Trump. His whining about mail-in ballots is the best advertisement for them ever! He is just too foolish to understand that, or much of anything else for that matter. What a dope.

    • @stevesloan7132
      @stevesloan7132 4 года назад +3

      @@matthewmangum6320 Lawrence is probably a Russian troll. Pay him no mind.

  • @stealthattack2209
    @stealthattack2209 4 года назад +75

    Someone tell me this.
    What exactly are CONFEDERACY lovers thinking about when they go mental over the flag?

    • @jimodonnelly7762
      @jimodonnelly7762 4 года назад +8

      Hah! Trick question! The DON'T THINK! Ever!

    • @stealthattack2209
      @stealthattack2209 4 года назад +2

      @@johncarlaw8633 Are the Democrats supporting retaining the statues or Cons?

    • @yannickg6904
      @yannickg6904 3 года назад +1

      This man makes an interesting point....
      ruclips.net/video/ePu5YHehKSM/видео.html

    • @blaidencortel
      @blaidencortel 3 года назад +16

      Butthurt that we crushed the confederacy. We need statues of Sherman in Atlanta, Sheridan in the Shenandoah and Grant in Richmond, VA. Remind everyone who won the Civil War... and who LOST.

    • @stealthattack2209
      @stealthattack2209 3 года назад +5

      @@blaidencortel LOL

  • @jokevv1
    @jokevv1 4 года назад +8

    How can students be behind 7 months in their learning because of corona virus when schools have only been closed for 4 or 5 months ?

    • @alexanderburawa9307
      @alexanderburawa9307 4 года назад

      That's in "trump math" figures; meanwhile, in the rest of the universe....

    • @Doommaster677
      @Doommaster677 4 года назад

      It's like when Terrance Howard (from...you know movies and stuff 😂😅) decided to invent his own math and called it Terriology lmao

    • @suzannec4834
      @suzannec4834 4 года назад

      We'll probably see some more school closures.

  • @dc-13258
    @dc-13258 4 года назад +42

    I live in Jacksonville and plan on leaving the city while the Covid Convention I mean RNC is in town since it’s also my birthday week. I’m sick of people.

    • @Kiwinan1701
      @Kiwinan1701 4 года назад +4

      And people will make you sick🤔

    • @oldrrocr
      @oldrrocr 4 года назад +5

      Open air convention of drunken stuffed suits, out of control protesters, Fla heat/steam? a COVID pandemic completely out of control?AND a testy loser who WANTS to deploy the riot troops...
      what could go wrong?
      tune in on CNN, and re-live Chicago 1968... got my popcorn already.

    • @pennyhollifield9431
      @pennyhollifield9431 4 года назад +2

      @@oldrrocr So on point!! 👏👏🙏🙏

    • @peterl.104
      @peterl.104 4 года назад +1

      Dani C RNC = Republican Novel Coronavirus?

    • @matthewmangum6320
      @matthewmangum6320 4 года назад +1

      Be brave, we still have competent people like Dr Fauci on our side.

  • @Sapphire-Sky
    @Sapphire-Sky 4 года назад +189

    When a clown is elected a circus should be expected...

    • @mrwascallyt9865
      @mrwascallyt9865 4 года назад +14

      and with the turnover at the white house the clown car must have a revolving door .

    • @billmurray7473
      @billmurray7473 4 года назад +5

      @T Mox More like Pennywise
      from IT.

    • @hadesdragon
      @hadesdragon 4 года назад +2

      oh you said it...lol

    • @ginaheller333
      @ginaheller333 4 года назад +2

      I have been seeing this particular saying since 2016 and I am sick to death of seeing it. WE KNOW ALREADY!

    • @thomaspalazzolo5902
      @thomaspalazzolo5902 4 года назад +6

      Eh... actual clowns have actual skills, and pulling off a circus takes time, effort, and careful planning. This is more of a flaming circus tent stretched over a ring full of animal dung, while someone outside keeps trying to convince people to walk into it, claiming it's not on fire and smells fantastic.

  • @rayniecox7683
    @rayniecox7683 4 года назад +6

    It's not fluffy, definitely hippie-ish and I love it!!

  • @rainbowyarn
    @rainbowyarn 4 года назад +8

    "man whose beard shrunk in the dryer, Ted Cruz" these subject introduction snippets have and always will be the light of my life. Thank you for this gift, Stephen

  • @lynnemedicine1380
    @lynnemedicine1380 4 года назад +31

    Kids would love to go back to school but they've already scheduled other things, like staying home due to a pandemic.

  • @mandym2865
    @mandym2865 4 года назад +47

    The fluffy professor-at-a-Liberal-Arts-College hair is way better than the slicked-back hair.

  • @joanietails
    @joanietails 4 года назад +10

    “Sorry I can’t hear you, my mask is going through a tunnel.” The funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time 😂😂😂

  • @Giovi111
    @Giovi111 4 года назад +12

    “Confederate flag. Noun. Flappy thing. It’s that x-ey thing on top of the Dukes of Hazzard car” 😂😂😂 Lost.it.

  • @t.saldana8951
    @t.saldana8951 4 года назад +13

    Last night and tonight, you've made me laugh out loud instead of my usual giggles and teehees, Mr. Colbert. Thank you so much for that.

  • @dexterbernard2701
    @dexterbernard2701 4 года назад +26

    The old stand-by excuse for folks in Kansas: I'm building my storm shelter that week

  • @maychap
    @maychap 2 года назад +2

    OMG! the little «Stop it» by Evie, when he talks about his hair at the beginning! So cute!

  • @sheagenix5320
    @sheagenix5320 3 года назад +3

    I don't know how Steven's wife doesn't bust out laughing with his jokes 😆

  • @reneelyndamartinez1362
    @reneelyndamartinez1362 4 года назад +49

    Stephen, your hair looks GOOD 😍 No product from now on.

  • @angiecolwell9596
    @angiecolwell9596 4 года назад +51

    "... it goes away with the heat and humidity." How's that working out for you Florida?

    • @MTMF.london
      @MTMF.london 4 года назад +2

      @Smileyrie James No, Dumpty never says sorry. He doubles down and keeps repeating his lies and bullshit, hoping if he repeats them enough, they'll come true.

  • @MeleeTiger
    @MeleeTiger 4 года назад +9

    "and man who's beard shrunk in the dryer" XD

  • @scorpleeon
    @scorpleeon 4 года назад +32

    Actual Panda Express actually killed me dead. My cats thought I was losing it because I was lol

    • @matthewswihart
      @matthewswihart 4 года назад

      MANBOO! Delicious General Tso's Manboo. With extra 'Rona.

    • @oscarinacan
      @oscarinacan 3 года назад

      The visual in my head of your comment is hilarious. I'm glad your cats didn't take you out and let you live so you could write this comment.

    • @mjennings2859
      @mjennings2859 3 года назад

      His monologue is the best part of the show

    • @karenskinner9044
      @karenskinner9044 3 года назад

      @@mjennings2859 It's the only part I watch.

  • @DeathProof392
    @DeathProof392 4 года назад +20

    “They’ve got one blip in the grave” 🤣

  • @quo33
    @quo33 4 года назад +282

    Without the lock-down we would never have seen Stephen's hair this fluffy. So there are upsides to this.

    • @iadorenewyork1
      @iadorenewyork1 4 года назад +15

      I think it suits him well.

    • @lissarodrigues8950
      @lissarodrigues8950 4 года назад +12

      I think his hair looks nice. He looks different.

    • @geraldgrenier8132
      @geraldgrenier8132 4 года назад +6

      @@iadorenewyork1 It makes him look like he from the 70s, and people are still ashamed for that deceades fashions for it to Come back if people had a choice

    • @Katzztar
      @Katzztar 4 года назад +4

      @@geraldgrenier8132 70s worst offence is being bracketed by the 60s and 80s.

    • @conradmonson30
      @conradmonson30 4 года назад +2

      Or Seth’s in-laws house. Yeah, ok, maybe that’s not really an upside

  • @aaroncline7714
    @aaroncline7714 4 года назад +8

    I love ya Stephen. I have my Kindergartner reading at a 2nd grad level and he loves math. His social skills are low and I wish he could play with kids more. Academically, I got this. He misses his friends so much though.

    • @Xcalator35
      @Xcalator35 4 года назад

      Oh, you don't waste any opportunity to say that you «Kindergartner [is] reading at a 2nd grad level and he loves math» do you?

  • @8584zender
    @8584zender 3 года назад +2

    Stephen, the swamp-ass joke was off the hook. Give a raise to whomever wrote that. And by raise, I mean, promise them a job next month.

  • @AliAbbas-sv1kx
    @AliAbbas-sv1kx 4 года назад +30

    Damn Stephen looks good!

  • @notthegoodgirl
    @notthegoodgirl 4 года назад +56

    *pops* *collar* "My hair has more of a modern French philosopher look." LOL I was thinking more like the beginning stages of a 70's shag, but it's all good we love you and don't care about your hair, Stephen!

    • @shirleyrombough8173
      @shirleyrombough8173 4 года назад +2

      NOT THE GOOD GIRL - I like the modern French philosopher description as long as he is an existentialist. Viva Sartre.

    • @sps6374
      @sps6374 4 года назад

      Shirley Rombough unfortunately he compared it to BHL’s... a former humanist who’s become notorious for his questionable stances on political subjects these last few years, including his support for political interference in Libya. Also a human meme.

    • @SilverMe2004
      @SilverMe2004 4 года назад

      I was watching a true crime show one Netflix and one episode was in France. And yes, his hair does look just like theirs

  • @iconicfury
    @iconicfury 4 года назад +13

    Bold strategy: let them have the convention. Pack it full! Hours of thunderous applause for the glorious leader, and then they can retire to the totally required cruise ships. Let Darwin have his day.

    • @whitefly2
      @whitefly2 3 года назад

      You can make 5000 dollars if you can prove that the Corona Virus exists.

    • @unclepatrick2
      @unclepatrick2 3 года назад +1

      @@whitefly2 Come to Huntsville Alabama . I will introduce to the head of infectious diseases control of Huntsville Hospital . He be glad to take you to the wards where those with the Corona Virus are and also the ICU where the worst cases are.
      He may be able to show you the virus itself in a lab microscope .

  • @seancokes3026
    @seancokes3026 3 года назад +1

    When Stephen moves the cement truck wheel out of frame I I made a deep off key piano sound in my head just like John would have done lol.

  • @yukonbrat3870
    @yukonbrat3870 4 года назад +56

    Gotta like this - just for his wife's little laugh that escaped after the "blip for brains" bit. She tried to hold it in, but she couldn't.

  • @FirstBrn
    @FirstBrn 4 года назад +335

    Who needs an audience when you have your wife laughing at the good jokes.

    • @teresaboze69
      @teresaboze69 4 года назад +10

      ... or even Tom Hanks

    • @darkmadder9897
      @darkmadder9897 4 года назад +1

      It's "Oh f*k my hair", Stephen Colbert. You know Stephen , it is PERFECTLY acceptable to go al "Taxi Driver" (hairstyle-wise anyhow) with the clippers right now. NOW"S YOUR CHANCE!!!

    • @Katzztar
      @Katzztar 4 года назад +3

      The irony is that I love this style versus the theatre's auto-laugh tracks. I actually cringe at the laugh tracks.

    • @blueseanomad7435
      @blueseanomad7435 4 года назад +3

      "good jokes" oof.

    • @leavingitblank9363
      @leavingitblank9363 4 года назад +1

      She laughs at ALL his jokes. That's why they're still in love.

  • @mm12345777
    @mm12345777 4 года назад +7

    "if only he had passed down the high-functioning part" 😂😂😂

  • @wasa6175
    @wasa6175 4 года назад +1

    Thank you Colbert... for enlightening us with ALL the Truth!!

  • @omeletteufinish8267
    @omeletteufinish8267 4 года назад +48

    You can hear his wife cackling in the background at 3:20 when he tells the Florida Governor “you got blips for brains” 😂

  • @DanCohoon
    @DanCohoon 4 года назад +36

    I love his wife "stop it"

  • @zakkroberts944
    @zakkroberts944 4 года назад +1

    Stephen's monologues are always good but this one... this one is on another level.

  • @mariag.8242
    @mariag.8242 3 года назад +34

    “More White People” - is that the Trump campaign’s new slogan?

    • @Damaged262
      @Damaged262 3 года назад

      Donald Trump, the Mallow Cup of the cup type candies. If it wasn't for that touch of coconut, you could throw them all in the trash. I'm still trying to find Trumps' coconut...

    • @Bonsai529
      @Bonsai529 3 года назад +1

      It has been the motto for the white supremacists for a long time. Remember Steve King and his whole thing about not rebuilding America with "other peoples children"? All the New Messiah and Chosen One of the white Christian white supremacists did was repeat it. He has never had an original thought in his orange head. What usually comes out of his mouth is the last thing he heard from one of his hatemongers that he keeps around him.

  • @SA-cx1gk
    @SA-cx1gk 4 года назад +14

    That melting face did me in! I live in St Pete, Fl and seriously the heat and humidity alone could kill people.

    • @myriamickx7969
      @myriamickx7969 4 года назад +1

      It’s the evil Nazi dying when they try to open the Ark in Indiana Jones’ Raiders of the Lost Ark.

    • @SA-cx1gk
      @SA-cx1gk 4 года назад +1

      @@myriamickx7969 yes I remember I loved the Indiana Jones movies!

  • @daniel_sc1024
    @daniel_sc1024 4 года назад +35

    "What? Lamar Alexander isn't coming? Damn, what's the point then?" said no one, ever.

  • @kayaphus4303
    @kayaphus4303 4 года назад +8

    Some wise people say that killing Trump is a form of self-defense if you believe him being alive will result in your death. Could be true.

  • @mjennings2859
    @mjennings2859 3 года назад +1

    You’re a welcomed barrel of joy and laughter during this pandemic lockdown. You are truly touched and not by an angel 😇. Keep telling it like it is. You should have been a comedian 😂😂

  • @TheReal008Zulu
    @TheReal008Zulu 4 года назад +114

    Stephen opens his shirt.
    Offscreen, "Stop it."

  • @JenniferChurchman
    @JenniferChurchman 4 года назад +25

    Love the "fluffy" hair. Also love hearing your wife laugh in the background. She should have a mic. Glad you guys are back and still at home, stay safe.

  • @lovelife4111
    @lovelife4111 4 года назад +4

    Love the wife throwing "grey" shade from off screen! Too cute!
    Btw, I actually like the hair! 👀 💁‍♂️ 👀

  • @tracewallace23
    @tracewallace23 3 года назад +3

    On the Steven Moore BS.
    Let's ALL make lists of when our representatives either outright lied or maybe didn't represent the will of the people.
    I wonder who's list will be longer

  • @gingerredshoes
    @gingerredshoes 4 года назад +29

    "I can't hear you, my mask is going through a tunnel."
    😂🤣😷

  • @kooale
    @kooale 4 года назад +65

    "...escaped museum exhibit" made my morning, even edging out the adorable Demi Moore on Seth. Can't believe U didn't call Desantis a "blip sh-t", you're too too polite 'bert. Congrats Steven Co., superb writing & delivery from start to finish. Love, respect, mask, from Chicago.

  • @LuckyVine
    @LuckyVine 3 года назад +1

    That "GEEEE!" at 3:25 killed me. XD

  • @grannypantsification
    @grannypantsification 4 года назад +3

    People who love the confederate flag say it symbolizes rebellion against government interference in private affairs.
    They don’t stop to consider the thing the government was interfering with was evil. The rebellion is the thing that matters.

  • @AnimeAffair
    @AnimeAffair 4 года назад +63

    "No lives matter." Donald Trump
    Damn

  • @gentillygirl545
    @gentillygirl545 4 года назад +141

    Stephen's hair now makes him look younger, imho. Go for it Steve! Most men of your age I know would KILL for a full head of hair, period.

  • @Typhis19
    @Typhis19 4 года назад +2

    "That joke stays in" lmao!

  • @irishcladdagh3
    @irishcladdagh3 4 года назад +1

    OMG!!! Stephen I have been working for 12 days straight....THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST TIME IVE HAD....THANK YOU FOR THE LAUGHS....OMG Im BLIMPING OVER HERE 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @lifesavid
    @lifesavid 4 года назад +60

    In Australia we had a spike of 271 new cases on 14 July in Victoria with recent reopening. They now have their borders closed to the rest of the country, again. This is seen as a crisis that required an immediate response. There seems to be a stark difference in attitudes to virus between our government and the USA government.

    • @dynastydyer9158
      @dynastydyer9158 4 года назад +15

      A lot of people see it as political thing. They somehow think that one party or another made the virus happen to further their own political agenda. America has a strange hate of science that I do not understand.

    • @gheeman5115
      @gheeman5115 4 года назад +6

      Dear Mr. Kinnear, I am an American Citizen and I am ashamed of the Federal Government. They work for big money and not the people. I would like to move to Australia.

    • @IMSiegfried
      @IMSiegfried 4 года назад +13

      I know you were probably just being tactful but there doesn't "seem" to be a difference, there definitely is a big difference. One country has leadership and precise action based on science and public health and the other has denial & cover ups.

    • @killigin
      @killigin 4 года назад +2

      Can we borrow it? I want one that works.

    • @mooreandless
      @mooreandless 4 года назад +7

      I'm also Aussie.
      We have bipartisanship during this crisis.
      The political parties have mostly been on the same page...to protect the citizens and contain the disease.
      To our credit, citizens have mostly adhered to social distancing and hygiene.
      The covid pandemic has not been politicized as it has been in USA

  • @senhowler
    @senhowler 4 года назад +196

    Think anyone told the Florida Governor that "blip" is how the MCU refers to half the universe being dead for five years?

    • @jdax21
      @jdax21 4 года назад +12

      Damn, I wish I'd thought of that! Great comment. 👍🏽

    • @olimakiella
      @olimakiella 4 года назад +5

      This is exactly what I thought of when they said it.

    • @willowwish648
      @willowwish648 4 года назад +2

      My thoughts exactly...like bruh

  • @taun96
    @taun96 3 года назад +1

    That description of Dr. Mary Trump. Wow! Kudos to the writers.

  • @p-dubya
    @p-dubya 4 года назад

    OMG!! You brought back David Cassidy from the Partridge Family! 😄
    🎵 C'mon Get Happy-y-y-y! 🎵