This Is Going Really Fast, Garden Games & Phobia Chat | AD

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  • Опубликовано: 22 июн 2024
  • This Is Going Really Fast, Garden Games & Phobia Chat
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Комментарии • 321

  • @Lilo_Val
    @Lilo_Val 4 дня назад +542

    "If it's that brutal you should take a tablet mate" TOOK ME OUT 🤣

  • @raisapetraitis8322
    @raisapetraitis8322 5 дней назад +1100

    53 MINUTES????? A QUEEN!!! Favorite RUclipsr ever til the end of time also your family is the CUTEST family 😭 goals.

  • @alizewaqas
    @alizewaqas 5 дней назад +678

    watching you brush your daughters hair.... brought tears to my eyes. you were meant to be a mom. we knew this for yearss

  • @megankeefe4558
    @megankeefe4558 5 дней назад +370

    I don’t think any of us would ever ask you to stop vlogging you are the OG we love you!!! These vlogs make my day and I always look forward to them❤️

  • @clairvoyantPeach
    @clairvoyantPeach 5 дней назад +258

    I haven't got to the phobia chat bit yet, but I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your openness about emetophobia! I think you were the first person I'd ever seen who has it and understands. It made me feel validated when I was 14 and now when I'm 24 ❤ Thank you Zoe!

  • @laurasalminen3443
    @laurasalminen3443 5 дней назад +191

    A MONTH of vlogs on the cards 🎉

  • @zoewilson1249
    @zoewilson1249 4 дня назад +46

    "You choose" was my favourite book EVER!! Just unlocked a memory

  • @amyanne5299
    @amyanne5299 5 дней назад +119

    Zoe, I’m a silent watcher but I just had to say I love love LOVE when you talk all things emetaphobia, I have it too and I don’t know anyone in my personal life who has it and you were the first person who spoke about it where I had that moment of, omg I’m not crazy someone else thinks this too. When you describe the different things like the dates on everything, over cooking everything I’m just shouting yes yes YES at the tv because I feel that to my bones!! Thankyou for making me feel like I’m not crazy💓 I also started seeing a therapist because of you and I’m only a couple months in but it’s already changed my life and I would never have take that leap if it wasn’t for you ❤❤❤

  • @daisymountain8491
    @daisymountain8491 5 дней назад +69

    i dont have emetophobia but i do have health anxiety and omg its so consuming and frustrating. I have developed agoraphobia (fear of leaving the house) because of this. i'm slowly but surely starting to combat it but it's a work in progress. i'm currently working with a therapist from betterhelp and she is amazing fr. thank u for always being so open about mental health!! i love u sm zoe, we can get through this

  • @alyssalee3018
    @alyssalee3018 5 дней назад +72

    FTM of a 9 Month Old - I was so unprepared for how much I would lose myself in the postpartum phase. Now that we are at the 9 month mark I feel like I'm just starting to get my head above water. I want more children but am low-key nervous for the initial postpartum phase again.

  • @priscato7834
    @priscato7834 4 дня назад +14

    Fellow science nerd and physician assistant here, our olfactory nerve (how we smell) is the only cranial nerve that goes directly into our cortex so our brain has a very strong and instinctive association between smell and memory :) Whereas our other special senses go through the thalamus first to be processed. The human body is amazing and I genuinely love learning about it, and I don't think you need to wait til the next lifetime to be amazed by it!

  • @jessicatranquada3025
    @jessicatranquada3025 4 дня назад +7

    "I'm in the thick of it, and I don't know either" is such a simple yet comforting phrase!! Our babies are 2 weeks apart, and most days I don't know either :)

  • @elzbietamakara5823
    @elzbietamakara5823 5 дней назад +79

    Hang on .... Is another vlogust coming? 😀That would be a dream :D My favourite Zoe vlog would have to be a cozy day at home (and a car chat with Mark) 😉

  • @itsmorganjacobs
    @itsmorganjacobs 5 дней назад +97

    Never give up the vlogging! 💓✨ no one does it like you and Alf!

  • @aislingdoherty2112
    @aislingdoherty2112 5 дней назад +36

    I’ve struggled with emetophobia since I can remember too! I loved your chat about it as I can relate so much. I think about it multiple times a day and also have vivid memories of people being sick or myself. You’ve reassured me that it’s possible to have children and a family with this phobia.❤

  • @mollyannprince1064
    @mollyannprince1064 4 дня назад +6

    I remember being like 14 wondering what was wrong with me and why no one else struggled with sickness like me!!!! Low and behold here we all are years later talking about it. I love that we’re all talking about it now. I also did the Thrive Programme for anyone struggling it’s amazing ❤

  • @ak9239
    @ak9239 4 дня назад +8

    Bring back the good old summer vlogs, chilling in the garden with Mark, Poppy and Sean, having water fights, bbq and fun in the pool (and now, plus the giiirls)!! ❤

  • @indiananova
    @indiananova 5 дней назад +32

    also same here!! I can remember every time sick has been around me or I've been sick and it's made me scared or any panic attack about it

  • @clmce9821
    @clmce9821 4 дня назад +10

    I've been having anxiety forever, and you were the first person I'd ever heard talking about it openly. And that was before I even had a word for what I was experiencing. Nobody talked about mental health back then (lol we're old). I've been watching your videos ever since !
    It helps SO MUCH when you understand your brain is doing exactly the same thing as a lot of other people's brain 😅
    Thank you
    ❤‍🩹

  • @lilypebbles
    @lilypebbles 4 дня назад +10

    I found those You Choose books SO good during potty training. To keep her sitting on the toilet for longer we would read that and you can make up endless stories x

  • @Sarah_1996
    @Sarah_1996 5 дней назад +23

    53 minutes of a Zoe vlog is what l need ❤️❤️

  • @muneera1364
    @muneera1364 4 дня назад +7

    STOP IT!!!!!!! the outro made me so happy you don’t even understand!!!!! I can’t wait😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @Richnik1
    @Richnik1 4 дня назад +5

    Listening to you echo all my thoughts and fears of emetophobia was, i have to say an absolute breath of fresh air. Im not at all happy that anyone else suffers from this debilitating phobia but it makes me feel so less alone. 💖

  • @helenatwo
    @helenatwo 5 дней назад +9

    Perfect thing to have on while I fold the laundry and potter around on this Sunday evening! Your family is so sweet 💛

  • @kaitlynpullen3238
    @kaitlynpullen3238 5 дней назад +2

    thankyou so much for touching on your emetophobia, i’ve has the phobia for as long as i can remember but more recently it has gotten so bad that i can’t leave the house. hearing a youtuber that i have looked up too since i was 8 chat about it and make it feel normalised is so comforting. thankyou i don’t feel as alone with it anymore💖

  • @HayleyPaig3
    @HayleyPaig3 4 дня назад +8

    Not Alfie picking up the camera 48:25 to say that! That whole part about the tablet, my eyes were streaming!

  • @amber7360
    @amber7360 5 дней назад +39

    Perfect way to spend a Sunday evening 😊🫶

  • @frusciantejones
    @frusciantejones 5 дней назад +9

    What a wonderful surprise! Love your vlogs always & 53 minutes is incredible! Forever brings me joy to see a new vlog from you, they bring such a unique comfort and warmth & for that I am grateful! You have such a wonderful way of vlogging & I find every vlog engaging and entertaining! You’re truly one of a kind & it has been an honour to watch you for all these years!! You’re doing an incredible job, I am proud of you and sending all the love ⭐️❤️

  • @niyati_crochets
    @niyati_crochets 3 дня назад +2

    Since you associate memories with scent, here's a cool idea that I saw recently - where you and your partner pick out a scent each that you're going to wear on your wedding day so you can forever associate that scent with the memories on your wedding day!

  • @EmsJane_5
    @EmsJane_5 5 дней назад +13

    Just what I need this Sunday evening ❤ Can’t wait to watch whilst doing the washing 😂 Lots of love to the whole fam 🫶🏻

  • @hazelunderwood259
    @hazelunderwood259 4 дня назад +6

    A whole month to come? Yay! I’m a recent subscriber - don’t know where I’ve been all these years, but I’ve discovered your channel now and am loving it. Thanks for the effort you put into your content, it’s lovely to watch and inspiring to see mental health and parenting talked about with such openness and honesty ❤

  • @marissacoury8696
    @marissacoury8696 4 дня назад +3

    Zoe, I’m so proud of you for making it through that week! I struggle to clean up my cats’ vomit- the only reason I can is because I know I won’t catch anything that will make me sick 🙈 it’s honestly so comforting hearing other people’s experiences so us emetophobes know we aren’t alone 💜

  • @emmmataylor
    @emmmataylor 5 дней назад +5

    My favorite part of the day! So much love to your family

  • @siofranifhearraigh2236
    @siofranifhearraigh2236 5 дней назад +6

    Happy Sunday guys! Love a new vlog from Zoe to brighten up everyone’s Sunday afternoon ❤

  • @jodimoore599
    @jodimoore599 4 дня назад +2

    1. Don't compare old Zoe to the Zoe you are now. Nobody ... Even your loved ones without kids... Aren't going to be bothered.
    2. So many moms lose themselves. Having something (or more than one something) that is yours, that makes you happy as an INDIVIDUAL not a MOM, is so important. This stage will be gone before you know it and when the girls start school, having your "me things" will help you go into their new stages stronger. Luckily, you have so many amazing talents, so many things that you can focus your energy on, that you'll not only be happy and mentally healthy, but your daughters will learn how to be the same way. ❤

  • @delaneycalifornia
    @delaneycalifornia 4 дня назад +1

    This video made me cry because I’ve always felt so alone with my emetophobia. I had a panic attack just the other day because I felt nauseous and thought I wouldn’t get through it. But it’s incredibly comforting that you’ve been able to manage having the same phobia and becoming a mother. There have been so many times that I’ve doubted I could ever be a mom and at almost 28, it still scares me. But I’ve honestly looked up to you for so long and just knowing that you’ve done it makes me feel like maybe it’s possible. Thank you soooo much for this video.

  • @issy7217
    @issy7217 4 дня назад +3

    I literally never comment but I really struggle with emetaphobia and I appreciate you talking about it so so much. I’m so happy I’m not the only one

  • @YvonneNguyen-mo4ti
    @YvonneNguyen-mo4ti 3 дня назад +2

    Zoe, you’ve probably heard this a million times and that’s because it’s the truth! You are genuinely the most comforting person to watch, I’ve grew up with you and you’ve stayed so true to yourself! I’m genuinely so happy for you and your little family!! :)

  • @seerena
    @seerena 4 дня назад +2

    I follow you since I was in high school, and I’ve grown up watching your videos. I’m usually a silent watcher, but I popped here just to tell you how happy I am for you.
    You look very happy and you deserve it.
    Lots of love x

  • @DiamondLover1
    @DiamondLover1 5 дней назад +2

    Seriously whenever you post just improves my day!

  • @scottish_rachelle
    @scottish_rachelle 5 дней назад +6

    Omg You Choose!! Actually brought a tear to my eye because I had buried a lot of my memories away but I loved that book so much growing up. Not sure if it was school that had it or if my mum bought me it but I remember reading it over and over again. Definitely sparked a love for creativity which now extends into being a Sims player. I don’t know when I’ll become a mummy but I will be sure to find that book for my babies💗 Thank you for putting a smile on my face Zoë xx

  • @india7366
    @india7366 5 дней назад +11

    Every word you said about your emetophobia, I could have said myself!! Too relatable!!

  • @carenb3204
    @carenb3204 3 дня назад +1

    If you get a therapist that doesn’t quite fit with you, move on to another, and if needed another, and another. I just got a therapist that I love and it makes a world of difference! ❤️

  • @Elizabeth.Crawford
    @Elizabeth.Crawford 4 дня назад +2

    Proud of you Zoe! You're an incredible mother and you work hard to be the best you can. I admire you a lot as I watched you live the ages that I am now experiencing myself.

  • @judykemp5237
    @judykemp5237 4 дня назад

    The emetophobia chat really made me feel reassured. The pavement scanning! Remembering every single experience. It's so sad that this affects so many of us, but after hearing people tell me I'm just being silly and it's not a fear, it's so nice to hear other people go through exactly the same experiences and all the daily routines we do to prevent being ill

  • @chloegrills1638
    @chloegrills1638 5 дней назад +16

    Literally did a happy dance when I saw Zoe posted 😄💃

  • @blc90
    @blc90 4 дня назад +1

    This video dropped at just the right time. I'm going through little low period and your videos have been my comfort since like 2010. Very much appreciative of you still taking the time to vlog. 💛

  • @molly-lk5rv
    @molly-lk5rv 5 дней назад +4

    always an instantly better day when zoe and alfie both post!! 💘💘

  • @ellenhogg3723
    @ellenhogg3723 5 дней назад +43

    I have emetophobia, having a phobia is such hard work and soul destroying ❤️if you ever need to talk im here xxxx

  • @kloeandshaylee
    @kloeandshaylee 4 дня назад

    It was so extremely refreshing watching you talk about your phobia so openly, and it made me feel not so alone… working on a diagnosis for my phobias currently, but I’m willing to bet mine may teeter on the edge of germaphobia all together- everything gets “contaminated” to me, especially when it relates to any sort of body fluid. And I relate to the scabbed knuckles- and have always had such bad anxiety around having children for this very reason- so thank you for talking so openly about your experiences

  • @paolaluzziseidl3328
    @paolaluzziseidl3328 5 дней назад +2

    I was missing your videos so very much !!! Super happy to see you back here, and with a long one !!! Thanks Zoe !! 😍

  • @ItisEssence
    @ItisEssence 5 дней назад +3

    Thanks zoe, I needed this after a long day

  • @faithjones4381
    @faithjones4381 4 дня назад +1

    In the nice weather, I love a backyard pool day with corn hole and ultimate frisbee! The kids can join or they can play hopscotch and draw with chalk. Those are some core family memories for me.

  • @aimeemcnally3012
    @aimeemcnally3012 4 дня назад +1

    Zoe, you’ve probably heard this a million times and that’s because it’s the truth! You are genuinely the most comforting person to watch, I’ve grew up with you and you’ve stayed so true to yourself! I’m genuinely so happy for you and your little family!! :)🥰

  • @springmore
    @springmore 4 дня назад

    I’m an emetophobic mother of a toddler who gets carsick very often and I was shocked at how little her vomit bothers me! She even got sick on the way to the grocery store the other day and I wiped her down, made sure she was good, and we went ahead and did our grocery shop!

  • @delaneyexpressionalart
    @delaneyexpressionalart 4 дня назад +2

    seeing you guys play in the garden and then reading books all together ❤ such a lovely beautiful family

  • @jillmatthews5197
    @jillmatthews5197 5 дней назад +1

    So love hearing about your life and your family x ❤

  • @isabelrosato4152
    @isabelrosato4152 5 дней назад +1

    Thank you so much for this vlog Zoe it is needed after a stressful week 💛

  • @xtasiae
    @xtasiae 4 дня назад

    you're such a beautiful mother in every way, thank you for sharing all of these moments with us

  • @sarahobrien8114
    @sarahobrien8114 4 дня назад +2

    Loved this chatty vlog - you were the first person to put a "name" to my phobia and finding someone who I related to was life changing. Thank you for sharing your experience, even though it was difficult. So excited for (potential) summer vlogs!!!

  • @claudiajade624
    @claudiajade624 3 дня назад +2

    I really like having a little 'catch up' too 😊😊

  • @lindseyziehmn1049
    @lindseyziehmn1049 3 дня назад

    Fellow emetophobic here that is also a mom and also married to someone who is the absolute polar opposite. It is SO comforting and reassuring to see someone speaking so openly about how absolutely overwhelming and irrational this phobia is! The visualization of every bad encounter with V* was so spot on lol

  • @jwaltonxo5359
    @jwaltonxo5359 4 дня назад +2

    I have never ever related to anything more, I told my therapist it’s like I have a video collage or a pic collage in my head of every time I’ve ever been or seen someone else be sick and I can’t get it out (also have OCD lol) but it’s literally the worst thing ever. I’m pregnant myself about to be a first time mum and I was so scared about sickness which I didn’t get but now I’m so scared about getting sick during labour lol or my little one getting sick too 😢 thank you for talking about these things! Also so happy to have almost an hour long vlog!

  • @destinybrown7363
    @destinybrown7363 4 дня назад +1

    I've been watching since I was 14 and I'm now almost 25 😭. Watching your videos has helped me tremendously throughout really tough times in my life. I've suffered from severe depression and anxiety and watching your videos was always an escape for me 🩷. I would love love LOVE a month of vlogs if time permits it lol. Please never stop vlogging, we all love you and anything you post.

  • @loveluckhurst
    @loveluckhurst 5 дней назад +6

    Cozied up for this, straight after Alfie's It's like a full on film haha, beautifuuuuul. Thanks Zöe ❤

  • @lilyreese9856
    @lilyreese9856 3 дня назад +1

    im so grateful for your mental health chats and acknowledging how different our brains are, and that different is okay and actually quite cool! makes us all feel very very seen and accepted :)

  • @lily-rosehewett7537
    @lily-rosehewett7537 5 дней назад +4

    Loving this vlog ❤

  • @Maz11296
    @Maz11296 4 дня назад

    FTM of a 6 week old and finding your vlogs even more relatable than ever! Your vlogs make me so excited for my family to grow and to also experience all the ups and downs of parenthood. I’ve felt a complete identity crisis during this postpartum stage but you remind me that it will all work out in the end

  • @darcymorrison9841
    @darcymorrison9841 4 дня назад +1

    I had emetophobia until I had cancer as a teenager... nothing could ever make you get over a fear more than being sick everyday for 2.5 hours...

  • @elerawiel
    @elerawiel 5 дней назад +2

    omg smells are so linked with my memories as well!! i once had a random piece of packaging that made me think of watching my friend play videogames on his GameCube, just because that packaging smelled like his house. haven't visited him in 10 years!

  • @RachCameron
    @RachCameron 4 дня назад

    You’re the absolute best Zoe, you feel like family. Love listening talk I could honestly listen to you chat all day long. Talking with you would be like talking to a childhood bestie ❤

  • @indiananova
    @indiananova 5 дней назад +2

    this is just what I needed, Ill and exhausted this weekend 😂❤🎉

  • @user-zl2jv5wh1i
    @user-zl2jv5wh1i 5 дней назад +1

    Perfect sunday evenings when both Alfie and Zoe upload 💓 Absolutely adore the nails! perfect for summer with the fruits 🍉

  • @Jassibeanx
    @Jassibeanx 4 дня назад +1

    aaah this was what i needed! love this sm

  • @Sima01620
    @Sima01620 5 дней назад +2

    Loving the energy of this vlog💃🏻💃🏻

  • @ohwhatmarvelousthings
    @ohwhatmarvelousthings 4 дня назад

    Always such a gift to see a Zoe blog pop up 😊I try and watch them in little bits to soak in all the loveliness. Also, I too am an emitaphobe, it's been an issue my whole life. But one blessing that came of it is that it made me realize in my 20s that I had an issue with alcohol. November will mark 10 years of sobriety for me. Still have the phobia, but at least one good thing came of it! Thank you for being so honest. Sending all the love to your precious family 💖

  • @naila612
    @naila612 4 дня назад

    The most wholesome vlog ever and I would just like to say thank you for your service.

  • @stefaniegalea6810
    @stefaniegalea6810 4 дня назад +1

    I’ve always had a toy basket in my bedroom, so that when I want to get dressed and put some makeup on my toddler goes straight for his/her toy basket. So far it’s worked for me. In fact sometimes I am ready and pulling them away from the basket to go !.

  • @agusrodriguezz
    @agusrodriguezz 4 дня назад

    Watching you play with Ottie and Alfie in the garden was so wholesome 🫶🏼

  • @karina8705
    @karina8705 5 дней назад

    love your videos zoe!! 💜

  • @Bellam83
    @Bellam83 3 дня назад

    Zoe truely has been there for all us in one way or another throughout the years ❤

  • @glitteryreen3908
    @glitteryreen3908 4 дня назад +1

    ottie so precious oh my god i love her

  • @alena25072
    @alena25072 5 дней назад

    So excited to watch! As always 💛💕💛

  • @katiebrooks6948
    @katiebrooks6948 4 дня назад

    You are such a lovely family, the girls are so lucky to have you ❤

  • @violetskiess
    @violetskiess 4 дня назад +1

    I completely agree with the visuals of the sick. I have extreme emet and I’m in therapy for it too. The visuals are awful and often play at night. Everything you said I can relate to. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. This is so nice to hear you speak on. I’m 22 and I constantly fear about having kids and I want them so bad in the future but I’m too scared to do it. You’re SO brave and SO strong. Been watching since 2013 era and have always admired you for talking on this

  • @ninadis8168
    @ninadis8168 4 дня назад +1

    It’s so helpful that you speak about your phobia. I have it to, and sometimes is so bad that I’m afraid to do my job as a teacher. My phobia is especially focust on other people being sick. Therapy didn’t help me and I am so scared to do exposure therapy. I have the biggest dream to be a mother, but it’s this kind of stories of kids getting sick, kinda scares me.
    I hope that someday I will be better in being coping with this anxiety and phobia..

  • @AngelDustLulu
    @AngelDustLulu 5 дней назад

    I’m just so grateful that Zoe and Alfie still upload it’s like hanging out with an old friend! Thank you for this amazing vlog Zoe 💕💕

  • @ItsCla_8
    @ItsCla_8 3 дня назад

    God Bless your family ❤️ Such an Inspiration to many xx

  • @user-cw4hx8gc1u
    @user-cw4hx8gc1u 3 дня назад +1

    Preparation. High maintenance to be low maintenance, such as overnight curls, tint eyebrows, invisilash lashes, band a 5min makeup routine DOWN. Takes me 10 min to get fully ready 😅

  • @madebyhannah8768
    @madebyhannah8768 5 дней назад +5

    A month of summer vlogs?!? ZOE this made my day, it better be true ;) !!

  • @ShannonCullinane
    @ShannonCullinane 4 дня назад

    Our daughter is just two weeks behind Novie. I totally feel what you mean. I don't even know how to just be me anymore. I feel like that person I was before she was born is gone. That phase of my life has passed and now this is the new normal...whatever that is. Feels good to know I'm not the only one struggling.

  • @amyc9917
    @amyc9917 5 дней назад

    Fellow Emetophobia sufferer here and also fellow BetterHelp user. I’m currently talking to my therapist about my phobia surrounding sickness, I’ve had it for as long as I can remember. Luckily my boyfriend is so understanding about it and supportive as well. Whenever we watch programmes that he knows involves the sounds/someone being sick he covers my ear and I cover my eyes
    And yes any encounter I’ve had with sick I can visualise it and picture it. I’ll avoid an area that someone’s been sick in for as long as I can, I’ll overcook food etc

  • @MultiJanfi
    @MultiJanfi 4 дня назад

    My next day summer plans: jogging, meeting friends at the lake, eating tons of watermelons and strawberries, going hiking and playing card games outside ❤

  • @cameroncoelho8073
    @cameroncoelho8073 4 дня назад

    love seeing how happy you are

  • @rachm-r9707
    @rachm-r9707 4 дня назад +3

    We have the exact same situation with our emetophobia and thankfully my husband is also not phased by it but having a 4 & 6 year old unfortunately they’re unavoidable entering the house.
    My mind still goes crazy with worry that I’ll get it but the thing that I have found helps a bit is wearing a mask the ones we wore in Covid times and wearing gloves in the dreaded clean up. I even wear a mask when giving them cuddles and just reassuring them and I have said to them mummy wears one so that I don’t catch it so I can look after them. Hope it helps but I do completely get it. Xx

  • @pixelchick3214
    @pixelchick3214 4 дня назад +1

    I wish I had someone to have such a great relationship with.. love your vlogs

  • @michelleshaw9358
    @michelleshaw9358 5 дней назад

    My fave is back good to see you back 🙌🙌🙌💜💜 luv the nails xx

  • @lunasuprema
    @lunasuprema 4 дня назад

    I'm on baby #4 and honestly, it's easier than when I just had 1 or 2. Your children entertain each other, the way you parent changes, your younger kids are usually more easy going and independent and most importantly, your capacity grows! You can just handle more. That's just from my experience

  • @vickydeane4186
    @vickydeane4186 3 дня назад

    Hi Zoe.I too have emetophobia and I have countless therapy over years and result my hands are damaged so when you spoke about this which you have before what you were saying I totally relate but well done and be proud of yourself it's hard when there poorly and alfie my husband use to do all that.Thank you for being so open its unreal how many people have it x

  • @NaomiElizabeth96
    @NaomiElizabeth96 5 дней назад +1

    I developed emetophobia a few years ago after multiple cardiac arrests (12 in 8 hours ) and have a pacemaker fitted (at 20 years old) . And literally each time I through up I passed out and my heart stopped (as your heart rate slows) yeh so now that’s in my head , I’ve not passed out throwing up since that though , so I know I won’t pass out but the trauma is still there 7 years later x