I think the people I work closely with might have an idea, but I'm too afraid to tell most people about my difficulties. I am worried they'll take it as me trying to make excuses or even try telling me my experiences are invalid. I've had managers tell me they didn't believe I had any sort of condition, that I just make things up so I can act out when I want. Cause, you know, having a panic attack in the middle of the warehouse, where everyone is watching me meltdown, is totally my idea of a good time.
I can relate. I was working at a shop for 8 weeks last year and i had to leave because of the pressure and me having a panic attack :( even I disclosed my aspergers to the manager at the time, she still treated me like shit. I hate it when people start taking advantage.
Yeah! This is what im afraid of too! And there this huge abyss of disconnect that just grows deeper and bigger as time goes by and with each new job with different employers. It only gets harder and harder to communicate effectively, and not ramble or keep scattering to different subjects
Then, after some time at one of these new temp jobs im at, I seem to start hearing increasing whispering of what i sense is gossip most likely centered around me, thus sending my already intense social anxiety skyrocketing through the roof!
I love your channel. Because of you I was officially diagnosed (at 38). All my life I felt broken and social inept. At least now I know why I am the way I am (it always made me feel terrible when people called me a spaz or an asshole for having no filter). I ended up telling my boss and he straight up told me “I already knew, I don’t care as long as you can write software”
I tried disclosing to my managers before. Mainly they didn't believe me or didn't care. Or actively said "There's nothing wrong with you" - I am now chronically unemployable because I was trying to get some help... sigh
I discovered I was autistic 2 years ago almost to the date. I have needed to disclose 100% of the time moving forward. I feel like it's my duty to myself for my own dignity and understanding and others to represent the fact that we exist. I do need help but I also want to help others. I used to work with kids and teens on the spectrum. Now I really want to help adults - starting w myself.
I've had quite an array of different responses. A lot of people said something like "oh everyone's on the spectrum these days", which is dismissive and hurtful, I've had some people start speaking more slowly and using simple words as if I was suddenly stupid, which was just funny, but the best one was from a friend who is a computer programmer; he said "so, you're an Aspie, huh? Cool, I always wanted to be one of those". It seems autistic people are already known and highly valued in the world of computer geeks. Thank you for representing us in such a positive light on the internet. Your videos are very practical and helpful and I have directed people to them on a number of occasions when I found it difficult to explain something. It's hard when you are emotionally involved in the thing you are trying to explain, especially if, by the time you are trying to explain it, there have already been misunderstandings and you're terrified to say anything in case you make it worse. Raising awareness is the key, but first we need to convince people that it is worth their while to learn about us, so it is really good to have somebody representing all the positive aspects of autism in a way that is so clear and accessible, demystifying some of the sillier things people believe, like that we have no emotions and prefer things to people. Thanks!
And small after-thought I had...if one brings up their ASD when they are viewed as different, it could come off as being defensive. And thats not a good position either. I would think that, if someone will, more than likely, discover your difference on their own, it would then be best to put it out there initially. That way you can allow the information to be said on "your terms" (in a positive light). Just my two-cents. Good job. Your vlog is spot on.
When I was applied for my current job, I was reluctant to be out about my ASD. However, given that they work work kids with special needs they kind of worked it out and I was still hired. During my first few weeks I made the decision to preface myself to my colleagues as I can come across as arrogant and dismissive and I wanted to prevent and avoid conflict. Unfortunately, I don't think this was really taken in and understood by those colleagues as I still grated on others and this caused someone making a complaint based purely on my lack of awareness- instead of them just reminding me or telling me they were finding certain things a bit difficult. I applied for a higher position at my work, but didn't make it. The reasons weren't given but I strongly suspect it was in part due to me having a 'difficult' personality :( It's really quite frustrating and disheartening.
There is a right time and place for everything. I think the “right” people will love and respect you regardless. Personally, I’ve chosen to tell my boss so there won’t be any surprises when I ask questions for clarification for example, or laugh abruptly at something she may tell me. With my co-workers I didn’t disclose that I have Aspergers but let them know I will at times make sound effects when working, tap my fingers, etc. If someone says hi to me and I don’t respond right away I’ll make it a point to apologize for my disregard, making sure to acknowledge their hello. It’s a lot of work, to say the least but self awareness is key. I know when I’m falling into a mode of hyper focus, for example and will consciously remind myself to stay on the task at hand. Listen to your bodies fellow Aspie’s, know your quirks. It’s a personal decision but after so much disappointment and being ostracized this is what I feel has been helpful for me within my present circumstance. I know my behavior can be perplexing for neurotypicals and prefer to just get it out of the way. There are people who will try to understand, love you, regardless. Press in friends ❤️ There is a place for you 🌻🤓
jenlovesthisstuff I was never diagnosed with Aspergers in the US, however I was diagnosed with autism as a kid back in Russia. I’m also know I’m narcissistic as well... People told me I have Aspergers. Now, I don’t have any kind of diagnoses, but people at my job still treat me as an autistic person because of the way I act. They give me more accommodations I need and I don’t like it. It is like when people did not know, must job used to be hard, now they are giving me more accommodations I need. I actually don’t like it. I do have some autistic traits, but not a lot... I feel I should forgot about it, and I just say I can’t work and talk at the same time because I need to focus. I need to say I’m just not that fast worker and don’t mention any kind of diagnoses...
This video was very informative! I smiled as soon as I saw the whiteboard (because I’m mostly a visual learner). Your pros & cons and succinct advice is helping me decide how and when I’ll disclose. Thank you!
I learned only a month ago, less than two weeks before my 61st birthday, that I am autistic. I decided right there and then that I will be totally up front with the world about it (because things can't get any worse, anyway). In fact, even though it explains all the bad stuff in my past, I have chosen to laugh along at myself and embrace it for what it is. After all those years of not knowing why I am different, I can now see a positive, funny side and be proud of it. I am what I am; if that's a problem, it's not my problem. I don't have problems, I only have challenges - and I never give in to challenges!
On the one hand, I've been binge watching your channel today cause I'm sorta in disbelief that this hits so close to home when I thought that I was just a unique unpleasant person. On the other, you've called out pretty much exactly why I don't think I could disclose to an employer. Weird day.
Now this is a useful video. Thanks. I told my supervisor last week and she was fine with it, she has relatives on the spectrum and she just considers it part of a person's character.
I just told one of my bosses, I have ASD not sure if I did the right thing or not yet. or the outcomes yet. I was first just a teacher there and was just doing my part with my students no need to involve lots of social interaction except with my students and my dealing strategies work perfectly. And I am good with technology and systems, setting schedules and planning stuff they also discovered during my employment and asked me to be a manager. That time I was really in between to tell them or not tell them. I went with the second. So now I shared apparently not to be shared info with other workers. So, in the end, hoping they will understand me better I told. It was a bit of feeling relaxed. But can't foresee long term effects. hope it will turn out OK.
I told my manager when I got diagnosed; for me it was like "Hey this will explain some of the stuff I've been having difficulty with!". Reaction I got? "Haha, you don't have autism! Good joke!" It was pretty distressing.
The manager is a complete jerkoff!! They’re basically making fun of you for your Autism and not actually are willing to learn about Autism. Those kinds of people are not worth having in your life.
@Ms. S Omg, thank you, and actually it's a REALLY good update; that awful manager left, I changed jobs and I now have a lead and a manager and just a team in general who are literally the most supportive and understanding folks I've ever worked with, couldn't ask for better. I'm still getting over that stuff in some ways but my current people are just fantastic, understanding and actually work thru stuff I find hard.
I'm already employed in a Government department. I find that as I get older, I'm not managing as well as I used to. All Government departments need to maintain affirmative action and equal opportunity quotas. It helps them when one of their own comes in with a late diagnosis as they already know how that person works. Besides, there's a lot of people on the spectrum in my work place, even if many of them don't know it themselves. (South Africa is a crappy place when it comes to mental healthcare)
I think the benefits I get from ASD ( intelligence, focus, creativity) are exactly the sorts of things that many [Australian] employers are afraid of and respond to with as "you're overqualified" , "you'll take my job" . Acknowledging the ASD "underneath" is probably not going to make a difference to many. Ironically I've been told that I'll get bored in jobs which appeal to my Aspie brain in ways that neurotypicals would not. However the door has already been closed by employers before that conversation can be had. I will say that disclosure in a university setting is probably not going to be helpful. I have found that all the support services extended to students (the money generators) are very much not extended to staff except in as "here's a counselling call-centre you can call, thx bye". There's a big song and dance every "R U OK" day which I have found to be purely performative.
Disclosing for me has never been difficult. But since I've been diagnosed i haven't held a single job. I'm trying to volunteer at the moment and even that isn't going smoothly. I think i might clam up about it for a tad to see if my situations take more favorable directions and get back to you all..
Well since this post I've had a couple short term jobs. So I definitely WILL NOT be disclosing my ASD status to potential employers again. I could have stayed in work but I decided that the jobs I did get were not suitable for me long term. Now with this pandemic, being locked down in Australia at the moment, I'm not looking for work just now.
So I put in my job application that I was Autistic. Mentioned it in my job interview to HR and the hiring managers... and when I started, my floor leads had no idea and began to treat me like I was stupid and incompetent. That was a year ago and I still have to inform management about it so they understand why I do things a certain way. Should HR have let the rest of my team leader know in advance from day one that I may have special requests or need accommodations? Or does that fall on me
When it comes to finding work, when do you tell employers? do you do it right from the initial application, during an interview, after you accept the offer, after you've been there for a short while?
Food for thought for those here- IME this has been a great struggle and its a double edged sword. Job decisions are heavily based on 'fit' and something as simply as eye contact issues can be the reason you are ruled as not a 'fit.' Usually (but not always), interviewers wont be able to tell if you dont disclose, but they will pick up a general vibe that can cause you to be perceived as 'weird' (and I have a negative gut feeling about this guy but cant say why), 'disinterested', and/or 'dishonest', all of these 3 reasons WILL get you excluded from selection from any competitive job. However, a disclosure when done correctly (and this is hard), gives the interviewers something to attribute issues like eye contact to, while selling key strengths that essentially 'make up' for the issue
It’s hard to answer this question for me. Personally I’d bring it up if it warranted it but it’s not a bad idea to keep it to yourself in certain situations. For me, I do not hide the fact that I’m on the spectrum on social media nor do I keep it secret with various people ‘be worked with. Interestingly enough I have an interview with a company next week that advocates for and organizes events for autistic people so I probably wouldn’t keep my diagnosis a secret...
I’ve been struggling with this. I usually only tell people I know who will understand, whether that means they’re family, close friends, or educated on asd, but my stepfather doesn’t want me letting anyone at all know about my aspergers.
I'll carry my secret to the grave. I'm supposed to work with people and everything. It's tiring but i do my best and i'm getting money for something simple to do. I lied in all psychological tests too.
On a similar note, the H.R. manager where I work didn't know what ADHD was.... He had to research it to understand it. I've been applying to jobs recently, and I'm doing a mix of disclosing and not disclosing my neurodivergence, just to see what happens... I'll be honest, disclosing it on applications makes me nervous that I'll be discriminated against... But I guess we'll see!
Paul, I discovered I had Asperger's only less than 2 years (I am 55 years old). I was shown your RUclips channel, and it has really helped quit a bit. The only think I don't like is calling it "autistic". I you to work with the New England Center for Autism (NECA). The children were typical autistic people-they were not even "savants". To have to explain it to people is bad enough; explaining Asperger's is new enough to most people. Now I have that some of us are very, very intelligent, and live normally, except for these quirks. Some things really make sense (for example, why I have to "tell the whole story" and not just the part they are asking for); but I don't want to call it autism-I'd rather not talk about having it, it I have to call it autism. They will immediately think I am slow. What do you think?
If someone recognizes the signs of ASD in you then they can know by assumption. I just wouldn’t volunteer it because they will go home and do 5 minutes research and come to work the next day and treat you differently. If someone asks something in a rude way “why are you so weird?” that probably wouldn’t be the best time to disclose you have ASD. You have to really gauge the workplace like if they tease people, if you hear people talking about people behind their backs. A disclosure in those circumstances could create a situation where you have to quit
Yeah .. speaking a lady the other day and she said that while colleges advertise inclusion and deversity etc .. that really only applies to the students, but they don’t necessarily want neuro divergent staff.
I didn't disclose, but my employer found out by means of the parent of a former employee outing me who just happened to be my former high school science teacher. My bosses had a conference call with the district manager in terms of figuring out what to do with me and threatened to fire me because my label was (supposedly) affecting my job performance and I might lose my job now. Talking to the Union helped somewhat but they can only do so much. Thankfully my job sucks so if they fire me, no harm no foul. Just wish I could find a less ableist environment to work in.
I always say it, and I dont care what they think about it. Its better for them to know, that Im not an asshole, I just cannot pick up body language, social cues, etc. And if they understand that about me, then there wont be a misunderstanding. Before that I always had the problem being called rude, bossy, insulting. But after that I realized I can skip the problem by just telling them right at day one: ok guys, I have this problem, dont misunderstand me if Im a jerk, its not my intention.
I'm 42 and never knew what was wrong with me, I just knew I was different somehow and found life hard, someone told me I had Aspergers during a bad anxiety attack two weeks ago and I don't know who I am anymore, how can I ever put my mask back on again? I'v pretend to be someone else my whole life, who's the real me? I'm so confused, can anyone please help me understand though there experiences if telling my work colleagues will help, the first thing I did was apologise to everyone in my life who I might of hurt though misunderstanding me and they took it well.
It gets harder to maintain the mask as you get older. I'm 45 and I have kind of given up on fitting in. I save most of my social energy for work and that's pretty much it. Whatever it takes to survive. In my experience, I wouldn't disclose the ASD if employed in the private sector. It will definitely set you up to be a target in your workplace. Even a sympathetic boss could begin to see you as a liability and marginalize you to save his/her own skin. If you are in the public sector (e.g., teaching), it *could* definitely be to your benefit to disclose. It would be hard for your employer to fire you or target you as public sector employees have far more protection against discrimination.
I would seriously consider using Neurodiverse Terminology consistent with Neurological Developmental Divergence rather than the Incorrect Unscientific Negative Terminology "Autism Spectrum Disorder". Instead opting for the Correct Neuroscience Terminolog "Âûtistic Spectrum Condition". Additionally shunning the wrongful use of Language such as "HAVE Autism" (Which suggest an Illness or the like) - rather opting for Identitification as a Neurologically Diverse Person with equal dignity and value to others with similar capabilities as "Âûtistic" or in some of our cases as "Âûtistic-Asperger's"... Bearing in mind that Neurological Developmental Difference leads to many or few other Neurological Conditions and or Issues that are NOT Âûtistic SPECIFIC... Though many Âûtistic Inddividuls may share in some or even all the same Limitations or Conditions that come as additional manifestations of Neurological Developmental issues... Similar to what can be seen in other Developmental Conditions such as Down's Syndrome where each Individual is different and may have multiple Neurological Conditions to deal with all at once.
I moved and am looking for a new job, my last boss knew and was very good at helping me. I am trying to decide if I will be discriminated against in hiring. most people think Autism and thing terrible behaved 5 year olds. My issue is I think i stand out trying to hide it.
I generally don't disclose at work. I might tell someone I like and trust not to be a dick about it, but I generally keep it to myself. I just don't consider it to be their business. My coworkers are not my friends, they're the assholes I have to tolerate so I can buy groceries.
Maybe if I can get my duck in a row I can get the job that everyone knows that I have autism and in the place I don’t feel ashamed about it because I’m that place I know how to work it in a positive and that’s a real great thing.
I think the people I work closely with might have an idea, but I'm too afraid to tell most people about my difficulties. I am worried they'll take it as me trying to make excuses or even try telling me my experiences are invalid. I've had managers tell me they didn't believe I had any sort of condition, that I just make things up so I can act out when I want. Cause, you know, having a panic attack in the middle of the warehouse, where everyone is watching me meltdown, is totally my idea of a good time.
I know how you feel, I have had multiple meltdowns at work, most co-workers know this and try to help me by not putting me in certain situations.
I can relate. I was working at a shop for 8 weeks last year and i had to leave because of the pressure and me having a panic attack :( even I disclosed my aspergers to the manager at the time, she still treated me like shit. I hate it when people start taking advantage.
Yeah! This is what im afraid of too! And there this huge abyss of disconnect that just grows deeper and bigger as time goes by and with each new job with different employers. It only gets harder and harder to communicate effectively, and not ramble or keep scattering to different subjects
Then, after some time at one of these new temp jobs im at, I seem to start hearing increasing whispering of what i sense is gossip most likely centered around me, thus sending my already intense social anxiety skyrocketing through the roof!
At which point i just completely SHUT DOWN socially
I love your channel. Because of you I was officially diagnosed (at 38). All my life I felt broken and social inept. At least now I know why I am the way I am (it always made me feel terrible when people called me a spaz or an asshole for having no filter). I ended up telling my boss and he straight up told me “I already knew, I don’t care as long as you can write software”
"unless we've got a positive story behind it." So painfully true.
I tried disclosing to my managers before. Mainly they didn't believe me or didn't care. Or actively said "There's nothing wrong with you" - I am now chronically unemployable because I was trying to get some help... sigh
I discovered I was autistic 2 years ago almost to the date. I have needed to disclose 100% of the time moving forward. I feel like it's my duty to myself for my own dignity and understanding and others to represent the fact that we exist. I do need help but I also want to help others. I used to work with kids and teens on the spectrum. Now I really want to help adults - starting w myself.
I've had quite an array of different responses. A lot of people said something like "oh everyone's on the spectrum these days", which is dismissive and hurtful, I've had some people start speaking more slowly and using simple words as if I was suddenly stupid, which was just funny, but the best one was from a friend who is a computer programmer; he said "so, you're an Aspie, huh? Cool, I always wanted to be one of those". It seems autistic people are already known and highly valued in the world of computer geeks.
Thank you for representing us in such a positive light on the internet. Your videos are very practical and helpful and I have directed people to them on a number of occasions when I found it difficult to explain something. It's hard when you are emotionally involved in the thing you are trying to explain, especially if, by the time you are trying to explain it, there have already been misunderstandings and you're terrified to say anything in case you make it worse.
Raising awareness is the key, but first we need to convince people that it is worth their while to learn about us, so it is really good to have somebody representing all the positive aspects of autism in a way that is so clear and accessible, demystifying some of the sillier things people believe, like that we have no emotions and prefer things to people. Thanks!
And small after-thought I had...if one brings up their ASD when they are viewed as different, it could come off as being defensive. And thats not a good position either. I would think that, if someone will, more than likely, discover your difference on their own, it would then be best to put it out there initially. That way you can allow the information to be said on "your terms" (in a positive light). Just my two-cents. Good job. Your vlog is spot on.
When I was applied for my current job, I was reluctant to be out about my ASD. However, given that they work work kids with special needs they kind of worked it out and I was still hired. During my first few weeks I made the decision to preface myself to my colleagues as I can come across as arrogant and dismissive and I wanted to prevent and avoid conflict. Unfortunately, I don't think this was really taken in and understood by those colleagues as I still grated on others and this caused someone making a complaint based purely on my lack of awareness- instead of them just reminding me or telling me they were finding certain things a bit difficult. I applied for a higher position at my work, but didn't make it. The reasons weren't given but I strongly suspect it was in part due to me having a 'difficult' personality :( It's really quite frustrating and disheartening.
There is a right time and place for everything. I think the “right” people will love and respect you regardless. Personally, I’ve chosen to tell my boss so there won’t be any surprises when I ask questions for clarification for example, or laugh abruptly at something she may tell me. With my co-workers I didn’t disclose that I have Aspergers but let them know I will at times make sound effects when working, tap my fingers, etc. If someone says hi to me and I don’t respond right away I’ll make it a point to apologize for my disregard, making sure to acknowledge their hello. It’s a lot of work, to say the least but self awareness is key. I know when I’m falling into a mode of hyper focus, for example and will consciously remind myself to stay on the task at hand. Listen to your bodies fellow Aspie’s, know your quirks. It’s a personal decision but after so much disappointment and being ostracized this is what I feel has been helpful for me within my present circumstance. I know my behavior can be perplexing for neurotypicals and prefer to just get it out of the way. There are people who will try to understand, love you, regardless. Press in friends ❤️ There is a place for you 🌻🤓
I admire your work, confessions, vulnerabilities, openness,🍀🍀🍀 and spark in your soul
i concur
When I was diagnosed I was advised not to tell my employer.
jenlovesthisstuff I was never diagnosed with Aspergers in the US, however I was diagnosed with autism as a kid back in Russia. I’m also know I’m narcissistic as well... People told me I have Aspergers. Now, I don’t have any kind of diagnoses, but people at my job still treat me as an autistic person because of the way I act. They give me more accommodations I need and I don’t like it. It is like when people did not know, must job used to be hard, now they are giving me more accommodations I need. I actually don’t like it. I do have some autistic traits, but not a lot... I feel I should forgot about it, and I just say I can’t work and talk at the same time because I need to focus. I need to say I’m just not that fast worker and don’t mention any kind of diagnoses...
This video was very informative! I smiled as soon as I saw the whiteboard (because I’m mostly a visual learner). Your pros & cons and succinct advice is helping me decide how and when I’ll disclose. Thank you!
I learned only a month ago, less than two weeks before my 61st birthday, that I am autistic. I decided right there and then that I will be totally up front with the world about it (because things can't get any worse, anyway). In fact, even though it explains all the bad stuff in my past, I have chosen to laugh along at myself and embrace it for what it is. After all those years of not knowing why I am different, I can now see a positive, funny side and be proud of it. I am what I am; if that's a problem, it's not my problem. I don't have problems, I only have challenges - and I never give in to challenges!
Authenticity and honesty are two additional reasons why someone may choose to disclose
Sadly, authenticity and honesty gets people into trouble. It's why currently harmony through dishonesty is the path of least resistance.
On the one hand, I've been binge watching your channel today cause I'm sorta in disbelief that this hits so close to home when I thought that I was just a unique unpleasant person. On the other, you've called out pretty much exactly why I don't think I could disclose to an employer. Weird day.
Now this is a useful video. Thanks. I told my supervisor last week and she was fine with it, she has relatives on the spectrum and she just considers it part of a person's character.
I just told one of my bosses, I have ASD not sure if I did the right thing or not yet. or the outcomes yet. I was first just a teacher there and was just doing my part with my students no need to involve lots of social interaction except with my students and my dealing strategies work perfectly. And I am good with technology and systems, setting schedules and planning stuff they also discovered during my employment and asked me to be a manager. That time I was really in between to tell them or not tell them. I went with the second. So now I shared apparently not to be shared info with other workers. So, in the end, hoping they will understand me better I told. It was a bit of feeling relaxed. But can't foresee long term effects. hope it will turn out OK.
I told my manager when I got diagnosed; for me it was like "Hey this will explain some of the stuff I've been having difficulty with!". Reaction I got? "Haha, you don't have autism! Good joke!" It was pretty distressing.
:(
The manager is a complete jerkoff!! They’re basically making fun of you for your Autism and not actually are willing to learn about Autism. Those kinds of people are not worth having in your life.
Yeah me too Sophia "No you don't, there's nothing wrong with you"
@Ms. S Omg, thank you, and actually it's a REALLY good update; that awful manager left, I changed jobs and I now have a lead and a manager and just a team in general who are literally the most supportive and understanding folks I've ever worked with, couldn't ask for better. I'm still getting over that stuff in some ways but my current people are just fantastic, understanding and actually work thru stuff I find hard.
If I got that from my employer, I would just say “so you don’t want me to work for you anymore since you don’t take me seriously?”
I'm already employed in a Government department.
I find that as I get older, I'm not managing as well as I used to.
All Government departments need to maintain affirmative action and equal opportunity quotas. It helps them when one of their own comes in with a late diagnosis as they already know how that person works.
Besides, there's a lot of people on the spectrum in my work place, even if many of them don't know it themselves.
(South Africa is a crappy place when it comes to mental healthcare)
I think the benefits I get from ASD ( intelligence, focus, creativity) are exactly the sorts of things that many [Australian] employers are afraid of and respond to with as "you're overqualified" , "you'll take my job" . Acknowledging the ASD "underneath" is probably not going to make a difference to many. Ironically I've been told that I'll get bored in jobs which appeal to my Aspie brain in ways that neurotypicals would not. However the door has already been closed by employers before that conversation can be had.
I will say that disclosure in a university setting is probably not going to be helpful. I have found that all the support services extended to students (the money generators) are very much not extended to staff except in as "here's a counselling call-centre you can call, thx bye". There's a big song and dance every "R U OK" day which I have found to be purely performative.
Disclosing for me has never been difficult. But since I've been diagnosed i haven't held a single job. I'm trying to volunteer at the moment and even that isn't going smoothly. I think i might clam up about it for a tad to see if my situations take more favorable directions and get back to you all..
Well since this post I've had a couple short term jobs. So I definitely WILL NOT be disclosing my ASD status to potential employers again. I could have stayed in work but I decided that the jobs I did get were not suitable for me long term. Now with this pandemic, being locked down in Australia at the moment, I'm not looking for work just now.
This nearly made me cry. Thanks for the video.
So I put in my job application that I was Autistic. Mentioned it in my job interview to HR and the hiring managers... and when I started, my floor leads had no idea and began to treat me like I was stupid and incompetent. That was a year ago and I still have to inform management about it so they understand why I do things a certain way. Should HR have let the rest of my team leader know in advance from day one that I may have special requests or need accommodations? Or does that fall on me
I've been discriminated against my whole life. Whether I tell someone or not just adjusts the time in which I'm discriminated against.
I love your thought process! Thank you for all the videos, they've been a huge help on my journey
When it comes to finding work, when do you tell employers? do you do it right from the initial application, during an interview, after you accept the offer, after you've been there for a short while?
Food for thought for those here- IME this has been a great struggle and its a double edged sword. Job decisions are heavily based on 'fit' and something as simply as eye contact issues can be the reason you are ruled as not a 'fit.' Usually (but not always), interviewers wont be able to tell if you dont disclose, but they will pick up a general vibe that can cause you to be perceived as 'weird' (and I have a negative gut feeling about this guy but cant say why), 'disinterested', and/or 'dishonest', all of these 3 reasons WILL get you excluded from selection from any competitive job. However, a disclosure when done correctly (and this is hard), gives the interviewers something to attribute issues like eye contact to, while selling key strengths that essentially 'make up' for the issue
It’s hard to answer this question for me. Personally I’d bring it up if it warranted it but it’s not a bad idea to keep it to yourself in certain situations. For me, I do not hide the fact that I’m on the spectrum on social media nor do I keep it secret with various people ‘be worked with. Interestingly enough I have an interview with a company next week that advocates for and organizes events for autistic people so I probably wouldn’t keep my diagnosis a secret...
I’ve been struggling with this. I usually only tell people I know who will understand, whether that means they’re family, close friends, or educated on asd, but my stepfather doesn’t want me letting anyone at all know about my aspergers.
Lots of good advice here.
Thanks, Paul..
I think this is my favorite video of your channel. Thank you
I'll carry my secret to the grave.
I'm supposed to work with people and everything. It's tiring but i do my best and i'm getting money for something simple to do.
I lied in all psychological tests too.
On a similar note, the H.R. manager where I work didn't know what ADHD was.... He had to research it to understand it. I've been applying to jobs recently, and I'm doing a mix of disclosing and not disclosing my neurodivergence, just to see what happens... I'll be honest, disclosing it on applications makes me nervous that I'll be discriminated against... But I guess we'll see!
It is good if you can show how aspects of autism can actually advantageous within the role
Paul, I discovered I had Asperger's only less than 2 years (I am 55 years old). I was shown your RUclips channel, and it has really helped quit a bit.
The only think I don't like is calling it "autistic". I you to work with the New England Center for Autism (NECA). The children were typical autistic people-they were not even "savants".
To have to explain it to people is bad enough; explaining Asperger's is new enough to most people. Now I have that some of us are very, very intelligent, and live normally, except for these quirks.
Some things really make sense (for example, why I have to "tell the whole story" and not just the part they are asking for); but I don't want to call it autism-I'd rather not talk about having it, it I have to call it autism. They will immediately think I am slow.
What do you think?
If someone recognizes the signs of ASD in you then they can know by assumption. I just wouldn’t volunteer it because they will go home and do 5 minutes research and come to work the next day and treat you differently. If someone asks something in a rude way “why are you so weird?” that probably wouldn’t be the best time to disclose you have ASD. You have to really gauge the workplace like if they tease people, if you hear people talking about people behind their backs. A disclosure in those circumstances could create a situation where you have to quit
So, what is a disability coordinator? I have never heard of that.
Yeah .. speaking a lady the other day and she said that while colleges advertise inclusion and deversity etc .. that really only applies to the students, but they don’t necessarily want neuro divergent staff.
I didn't disclose, but my employer found out by means of the parent of a former employee outing me who just happened to be my former high school science teacher. My bosses had a conference call with the district manager in terms of figuring out what to do with me and threatened to fire me because my label was (supposedly) affecting my job performance and I might lose my job now. Talking to the Union helped somewhat but they can only do so much. Thankfully my job sucks so if they fire me, no harm no foul. Just wish I could find a less ableist environment to work in.
Thank you so much for this! ❤️🙏
I got diagnosed this month but I don't think I'll out myself. I feel like it would put me in a rather dangerous position
I always say it, and I dont care what they think about it. Its better for them to know, that Im not an asshole, I just cannot pick up body language, social cues, etc. And if they understand that about me, then there wont be a misunderstanding. Before that I always had the problem being called rude, bossy, insulting. But after that I realized I can skip the problem by just telling them right at day one: ok guys, I have this problem, dont misunderstand me if Im a jerk, its not my intention.
thank you for teaching us more :)))
I'm 42 and never knew what was wrong with me, I just knew I was different somehow and found life hard, someone told me I had Aspergers during a bad anxiety attack two weeks ago and I don't know who I am anymore, how can I ever put my mask back on again? I'v pretend to be someone else my whole life, who's the real me? I'm so confused, can anyone please help me understand though there experiences if telling my work colleagues will help, the first thing I did was apologise to everyone in my life who I might of hurt though misunderstanding me and they took it well.
It gets harder to maintain the mask as you get older. I'm 45 and I have kind of given up on fitting in. I save most of my social energy for work and that's pretty much it. Whatever it takes to survive.
In my experience, I wouldn't disclose the ASD if employed in the private sector. It will definitely set you up to be a target in your workplace. Even a sympathetic boss could begin to see you as a liability and marginalize you to save his/her own skin.
If you are in the public sector (e.g., teaching), it *could* definitely be to your benefit to disclose. It would be hard for your employer to fire you or target you as public sector employees have far more protection against discrimination.
Well-explained!
I would seriously consider using Neurodiverse Terminology consistent with Neurological Developmental Divergence rather than the Incorrect Unscientific Negative Terminology "Autism Spectrum Disorder".
Instead opting for the Correct Neuroscience Terminolog "Âûtistic Spectrum Condition".
Additionally shunning the wrongful use of Language such as "HAVE Autism" (Which suggest an Illness or the like) - rather opting for Identitification as a Neurologically Diverse Person with equal dignity and value to others with similar capabilities as "Âûtistic" or in some of our cases as "Âûtistic-Asperger's"...
Bearing in mind that Neurological Developmental Difference leads to many or few other Neurological Conditions and or Issues that are NOT Âûtistic SPECIFIC...
Though many Âûtistic Inddividuls may share in some or even all the same Limitations or Conditions that come as additional manifestations of Neurological Developmental issues...
Similar to what can be seen in other Developmental Conditions such as Down's Syndrome where each Individual is different and may have multiple Neurological Conditions to deal with all at once.
I moved and am looking for a new job, my last boss knew and was very good at helping me. I am trying to decide if I will be discriminated against in hiring. most people think Autism and thing terrible behaved 5 year olds. My issue is I think i stand out trying to hide it.
Excellent!
I generally don't disclose at work. I might tell someone I like and trust not to be a dick about it, but I generally keep it to myself.
I just don't consider it to be their business.
My coworkers are not my friends, they're the assholes I have to tolerate so I can buy groceries.
Whenever I tell someone, I start off by just saying I have a social disorder. But I only tell anyone who knows my work methods.
Either way it's a double bind.
i lost a job from disclosing it
Your dry erase charts remind me of Kanye West on South Park trying to figure out why he’s a gay fish.
Honest to a fault so yeah they write me off constantly at current job and pursued jobs.
Read my lips: N-E-V--ER
They'll find out regardless.
Maybe if I can get my duck in a row I can get the job that everyone knows that I have autism and in the place I don’t feel ashamed about it because I’m that place I know how to work it in a positive and that’s a real great thing.
Might be a bad idea so avoid if possible
In the U.S. your employer can NOT fire you for an illness or disability. It must be a direct problem with your work.
And if you believe they won't find a way round that then you are less cynical than I...
I'm openly autistic