Our family has (at least) eight autistic people in four generations. We're not all the same, but it's great that we can all talk about our experiences. I'm 67 and recently diagnosed, but it's still enlightening to hear my daughter describe her early life. I was there but I had no idea what was going on in her head. For me it's not so much imposter syndrome as slowly peeling away the feelings that I was continually letting people down. It only took 20 years to believe that my wife's smile when she sees me is non-judgmental.
I don't remember ever feeling imposter syndrome before, but my autism assessment brought it up hard. I'm still waiting for the results and I'm so nervous and scared
I feel imposter syndrome but thats because ive been gaslit by so many people for years including one therapist. I have been officially diagnosed in 2021 by a psychiatrist with a specialty in nueropsychology in nyc; so yes I'm pretty sure im autistic. The psychiatrist was very sure about it too, and I have very basic tells and typical stims.
I definitely struggle with imposter syndrome. I sometimes wonder if the DSM-V has too generous and open ended of criteria for autism so perhaps I am not truly struggling or different any more than the general population. What if I’m just anxious? Professionals diagnosed me with OCD before, which later got overturned, so why couldn’t this be a similar case? These are common thoughts I have at times. I must remind myself that it has been useful to engage with resources and community for neurodivergent people. The label is our current understanding of autism and it’s ok to navigate it the best I can in the current diagnostic framework.
I have totally embraced solitude so imposter syndrome is irrelevant. My dog does not care. My doc is the one who told me he thinks I'm autistic but isn't able to give a formal diagnosis and we both decided that at almost 50, it's not even worth the few thousand dollars to get a formal diagnosis. Bottom line- doesn't matter what anyone thinks because I don't have anyone who gives a shit either way
I really feel for your sadness of not being understood mate, especially how your dog does not discriminate. I've only found happiness in the company of animals, children and old people. (In that order) I'm 51, undiagnosed officially but was told by my brother only a couple of months ago I was diagnosed at 6 or 7 but nobody told me. I hope you reach out and find "your people", if I can find the courage I will try what he suggested and go to a group meeting. Best wishes from Melbourne 🙏🏽
Although I’m 1,000% sure I’m autistic, I didn’t know until I was almost 40, so I definitely had to work through the imposter syndrome and “mourning period”. It’s such an odd feeling to have imposter syndrome but also be absolutely sure that you’re not an imposter.
Omg this is me right now! I’m 38! I haven’t been officially diagnosed yet but it’s such an apparent truth that it’s hard to deny. Especially the more I research. 😅
I had pretty heavy imposter syndrome from the beginning of 2024, when my therapist first suggested that I could be autistic, until about a week ago, when my routine got all messed up one day, I got completely dysregulated, and I had a meltdown. I wanted to communicate with my family about it later, so I looked up the section in Neurodiversity for Dummies on meltdowns. read it alone first and had a little cry because it was so validating and described exactly what I had just experienced. then shared it with family and they said it was helpful to understand what I experience. it pretty much wiped away all but the smallest particle of my imposter syndrome. my assessment results are due any day, so it'll be interesting to see if they concur or not. I don't really care except for the support an official diagnosis would hopefully help to initiate. the online support groups I've found have been lovely and really welcoming and supportive
Helpful video with solid content! I have had a bit of imposter syndrome the past year from time to time, but never for long. Autism just answers too much about me, and I quickly return to a reassured place that I *am* autistic. One thing I found reassuring was another content creator who said that if you were born before about 1976, like me, you were of a generation where autism was not being "seen" in children in school. So me being late-identified is not surprising. And with regard to inserting into the autistic community and seeing if you "fit", I definitely feel like I do. So my MIL and mom not seeing it is not a barrier, because I reflect on my childhood and beyond knowing me, and I know I am, and know I am amongst my community.
Diagnosed here. With 2nd and 3rd opinions. I didn't see it. I only caught the ADHD. Glad others were able to spot it. My life makes sense now. I was dx later in life. Thank you for this video! ❤
Well, I was diagnosed at a BRAIN's institute by a professional. Unless I am extremely good at manipulating people and don't realize it, I can safely say that I am Autistic. High functioning Autism isn't something most people want to be associated with. It is a disability, that makes life much harder than it otherwise is.
I think the best way to know if your autistic is if you struggled socializing from a very young age. I'm talking kindergarten. Basically as long as you can remember. I've never questioned if something wasn't right, I just knew. I didn't figure out exactly what was wrong until I was in my late 40's.
very relatable. my teachers also thought i was deaf because i was so aloof and even as an adult i still sometimes dont hear my name at all despite having my hearing tested and it was proven to be in excellent condition.
Diagnosed. Though I feel like me trying to live a fullfiled a d happy life. Trying to fit into this world, often being rejected. Makes me feel like an imposter.
Self identified autist. Originally thought it could be autism in school about 5 years ago but my school’s therapist talked me out of it. Earlier this year I was dealing with some health issues and discovered that I have symptoms of hyper mobile ehlers danlos syndrome and that lead me back to autism. I also discovered that I am dyslexic. It’s been a wild ride.
So after a year being self-diagnosed I went to a psychiatrist who is specialised in autism. She confirmed my diagnosis. So now I have two trains of thoughts: 1 - "Well, of course, you've been studying autism and analyzing your life for a year. By now you know exactly what to tell to fit the image" and 2 - "If autism is a spectrum and pretty wide one, how doctors decide it's the same condition? There are DSM criteria, yes, but we are so different, even though we have the same symptoms. Doctors must be wrong putting us all in one group" I have a lot of work to do with myself 😅
Only acceptable use of any diagnosis is helping patients. The autistic community shares a ton of information you may find useful to stop suffering and live a better life, just take what works for you. Most will immediately integrate you to the group as Paul says and you can learn a lot from everybody.
I get pangs. But I've heard others' social experiences and their accommodations that they come to find before they knew of their neuro-status. Like, one that would irk me to no end was talking about how to work on something, or toward something. I would get an idea formed in my mind, then tell the group or boss about it, they would politely nod a bit to act like they were considering my idea. Then, someone after me (sometimes right after me), would say the same thing, with a few different words, and everyone would think they came up with a great idea. When that would happen, I wouldn't just take it personally, I would take it as a direct attack like they were saying, "We don't like you and we will never give you credit for anything." It's still hard to believe that I wasn't speaking in a way that they somehow don't understand.
It's hard to not have doubts when you always get told that you are not autistic enough. I pursued a diagnosis, but I'm apperantly too "well" too get one. Still, I don't fit into society. I tried to go too a local meeting for autistic people, I clearly felt like an imposter there. The people at the meeting were all quite significantly impaired in their life due to the autism, so even if I felt that I was similar too the group I still didn't fit in. Right now I feel that I'm just crazy, and that I don't belong anywhere...
Great video Paul: very important message and I am really into the idea of being in Autistic only (physical) spaces. That it might highlight how much more we connect is so intriguing 🙂
I self diagnosed. I've told some of my family but they don't really get how it affects me, and aren't really interested in explanations. Not really that much of a problem as they know I'm quirky. I don't find it useful to explain it to anyone else when I need to cover my differences (I'm a visual process thinker and learn by example, so need someone to explain things and have the ability to ask questions) and many have told me that I can't self diagnose so I don't really know. But the clincher for me knowing I am not an imposter was gradually discovering that the few close friends I've made (my best friend when I was eleven, my best friend at 14, and the friend I made at university) all turned out to be autistic too.
Let me pretend like I'm autistic so I can get all those sweet sweet bonuses... hmm.. alienate friends... alienate co-workers... alienate the clerk at the checkout counter... yeah there are some great advantages
From what i ve gathered, many of they don't and you can't entirely blame them. I am one of said professionals and apparently autistic too, on the suspectrum since June. Also maybe it s dangerous expecting or claiming 100% of anything. Thanks Paul for your help on the journey. Greetings from Uruguay
Neuroscience PhD student here, who thinks she might be autistic - the idea of autism itself is a social construct that psychologists and clinicians have defined & is constantly evolving and changing! So I feel like the question or being sure whether or not you're autistic, when you've identified a number of the traits in yourself, is really just a question about how we define the group that is autistic people, as opposed to a question about something that has an objective an undeniable truth to it. I'm personally very confused about whether I'll be deemed autistic by my particular assessor, & the wait time is at least a year, so I really like Paul's idea of describing myself as 'having autistic traits', bc it's quite a concise way of conveying the situation. Has anyone else used this phrase? Do people tend to react well, or weirdly?
@emilyw-b4485 agree with the constantly evolving thing, also the multiple perspectives... I m still trying to find out how it fits. One of the greatest paradoxes i think of the proffession at least from a pschycoanalitical pov is only You have your truth but still You need guidance, and how You discriminante that from suggestion. So trusting ourselves is important
I came here just to say... Asperger's is very different from severe autism. I resent that the diagnosis has been removed and we are all lumped together. No offense intended to autistic people, they are unique and amazing in their own way... But Asperger's faces entirely different challenges and has different levels of capacity and independence
Of course there is a scale from mild to severely autistic. A person can be just a little, or borderline autistic, or SO autistic that they can't be left alone and need to be institutionalized. It's not black-and-white, on or off. There are degrees. If I have only a few autistic traits, and not continuously or intensely, then I'm only a little bit autistic. If I have most or all autistic traits, and have them to an extreme degree, then I'm VERY autistic.
The idea is that it's not linear. If I'm a bit better in social interactions, but very sensory sensitive, am I more autistic than someone who can deal better with sensory overloads, but fails in social life?
What an goog ignorant comment. If you don’t have enough traits of autism to fit the diagnostic criteria or only experience them occasionally, you’re not autistic. You can’t be a little bit autistic, and you’re either autistic or you aren’t. Those with “severe” autism are usually just people with co-occurring conditions such as an intellectual disability.
Self doubt will always be in the background, carefully questioning my every move :P
Our family has (at least) eight autistic people in four generations. We're not all the same, but it's great that we can all talk about our experiences. I'm 67 and recently diagnosed, but it's still enlightening to hear my daughter describe her early life. I was there but I had no idea what was going on in her head. For me it's not so much imposter syndrome as slowly peeling away the feelings that I was continually letting people down. It only took 20 years to believe that my wife's smile when she sees me is non-judgmental.
I don't remember ever feeling imposter syndrome before, but my autism assessment brought it up hard. I'm still waiting for the results and I'm so nervous and scared
I feel imposter syndrome but thats because ive been gaslit by so many people for years including one therapist. I have been officially diagnosed in 2021 by a psychiatrist with a specialty in nueropsychology in nyc; so yes I'm pretty sure im autistic. The psychiatrist was very sure about it too, and I have very basic tells and typical stims.
I definitely struggle with imposter syndrome. I sometimes wonder if the DSM-V has too generous and open ended of criteria for autism so perhaps I am not truly struggling or different any more than the general population. What if I’m just anxious? Professionals diagnosed me with OCD before, which later got overturned, so why couldn’t this be a similar case? These are common thoughts I have at times.
I must remind myself that it has been useful to engage with resources and community for neurodivergent people. The label is our current understanding of autism and it’s ok to navigate it the best I can in the current diagnostic framework.
there's a lot of overlap with avoidant attachment too. Or you can have both.
I have totally embraced solitude so imposter syndrome is irrelevant. My dog does not care. My doc is the one who told me he thinks I'm autistic but isn't able to give a formal diagnosis and we both decided that at almost 50, it's not even worth the few thousand dollars to get a formal diagnosis. Bottom line- doesn't matter what anyone thinks because I don't have anyone who gives a shit either way
I really feel for your sadness of not being understood mate, especially how your dog does not discriminate. I've only found happiness in the company of animals, children and old people. (In that order)
I'm 51, undiagnosed officially but was told by my brother only a couple of months ago I was diagnosed at 6 or 7 but nobody told me. I hope you reach out and find "your people", if I can find the courage I will try what he suggested and go to a group meeting. Best wishes from Melbourne 🙏🏽
Although I’m 1,000% sure I’m autistic, I didn’t know until I was almost 40, so I definitely had to work through the imposter syndrome and “mourning period”.
It’s such an odd feeling to have imposter syndrome but also be absolutely sure that you’re not an imposter.
Omg this is me right now! I’m 38! I haven’t been officially diagnosed yet but it’s such an apparent truth that it’s hard to deny. Especially the more I research. 😅
I had pretty heavy imposter syndrome from the beginning of 2024, when my therapist first suggested that I could be autistic, until about a week ago, when my routine got all messed up one day, I got completely dysregulated, and I had a meltdown. I wanted to communicate with my family about it later, so I looked up the section in Neurodiversity for Dummies on meltdowns. read it alone first and had a little cry because it was so validating and described exactly what I had just experienced. then shared it with family and they said it was helpful to understand what I experience. it pretty much wiped away all but the smallest particle of my imposter syndrome. my assessment results are due any day, so it'll be interesting to see if they concur or not. I don't really care except for the support an official diagnosis would hopefully help to initiate. the online support groups I've found have been lovely and really welcoming and supportive
Helpful video with solid content!
I have had a bit of imposter syndrome the past year from time to time, but never for long. Autism just answers too much about me, and I quickly return to a reassured place that I *am* autistic.
One thing I found reassuring was another content creator who said that if you were born before about 1976, like me, you were of a generation where autism was not being "seen" in children in school. So me being late-identified is not surprising.
And with regard to inserting into the autistic community and seeing if you "fit", I definitely feel like I do. So my MIL and mom not seeing it is not a barrier, because I reflect on my childhood and beyond knowing me, and I know I am, and know I am amongst my community.
Diagnosed here. With 2nd and 3rd opinions. I didn't see it. I only caught the ADHD. Glad others were able to spot it. My life makes sense now. I was dx later in life. Thank you for this video! ❤
I was diagnosed by a professor of autism so I definitely have Aspergers.
I was thrilled to finally find out why I think differently. I spent most of my life wondering about it and now I know.
good info thanks - i am 70 and just self diagnosed a few weeks ago - nice to know why i been so weird all my life
Well, I was diagnosed at a BRAIN's institute by a professional. Unless I am extremely good at manipulating people and don't realize it, I can safely say that I am Autistic. High functioning Autism isn't something most people want to be associated with. It is a disability, that makes life much harder than it otherwise is.
I think the best way to know if your autistic is if you struggled socializing from a very young age. I'm talking kindergarten. Basically as long as you can remember. I've never questioned if something wasn't right, I just knew. I didn't figure out exactly what was wrong until I was in my late 40's.
Yeah this sounds like me. Did you get bullied a lot? I did. I got diagnosed at age 36. In retrospect, some of my behavior was indeed weird.
very relatable. my teachers also thought i was deaf because i was so aloof and even as an adult i still sometimes dont hear my name at all despite having my hearing tested and it was proven to be in excellent condition.
Always on the edges trying to figure it out
Diagnosed.
Though I feel like me trying to live a fullfiled a d happy life. Trying to fit into this world, often being rejected. Makes me feel like an imposter.
Self identified autist. Originally thought it could be autism in school about 5 years ago but my school’s therapist talked me out of it. Earlier this year I was dealing with some health issues and discovered that I have symptoms of hyper mobile ehlers danlos syndrome and that lead me back to autism. I also discovered that I am dyslexic. It’s been a wild ride.
Surprisingly I also have Hypermobile EDS and have recently told that I am autistic. Talk about finding your community. 😊
@ Wow! That’s so cool 😎 hello 👋🏽 fellow bendy person!
@@RLWarrior Hi ! I don't think that I would have thought there was another like me- we are truly a diverse group..
So after a year being self-diagnosed I went to a psychiatrist who is specialised in autism. She confirmed my diagnosis. So now I have two trains of thoughts: 1 - "Well, of course, you've been studying autism and analyzing your life for a year. By now you know exactly what to tell to fit the image" and 2 - "If autism is a spectrum and pretty wide one, how doctors decide it's the same condition? There are DSM criteria, yes, but we are so different, even though we have the same symptoms. Doctors must be wrong putting us all in one group"
I have a lot of work to do with myself 😅
Only acceptable use of any diagnosis is helping patients. The autistic community shares a ton of information you may find useful to stop suffering and live a better life, just take what works for you. Most will immediately integrate you to the group as Paul says and you can learn a lot from everybody.
I get pangs. But I've heard others' social experiences and their accommodations that they come to find before they knew of their neuro-status. Like, one that would irk me to no end was talking about how to work on something, or toward something. I would get an idea formed in my mind, then tell the group or boss about it, they would politely nod a bit to act like they were considering my idea. Then, someone after me (sometimes right after me), would say the same thing, with a few different words, and everyone would think they came up with a great idea. When that would happen, I wouldn't just take it personally, I would take it as a direct attack like they were saying, "We don't like you and we will never give you credit for anything." It's still hard to believe that I wasn't speaking in a way that they somehow don't understand.
It's hard to not have doubts when you always get told that you are not autistic enough. I pursued a diagnosis, but I'm apperantly too "well" too get one. Still, I don't fit into society.
I tried to go too a local meeting for autistic people, I clearly felt like an imposter there. The people at the meeting were all quite significantly impaired in their life due to the autism, so even if I felt that I was similar too the group I still didn't fit in. Right now I feel that I'm just crazy, and that I don't belong anywhere...
Great video Paul: very important message and I am really into the idea of being in Autistic only (physical) spaces. That it might highlight how much more we connect is so intriguing 🙂
I self diagnosed. I've told some of my family but they don't really get how it affects me, and aren't really interested in explanations. Not really that much of a problem as they know I'm quirky.
I don't find it useful to explain it to anyone else when I need to cover my differences (I'm a visual process thinker and learn by example, so need someone to explain things and have the ability to ask questions) and many have told me that I can't self diagnose so I don't really know.
But the clincher for me knowing I am not an imposter was gradually discovering that the few close friends I've made (my best friend when I was eleven, my best friend at 14, and the friend I made at university) all turned out to be autistic too.
Let me pretend like I'm autistic so I can get all those sweet sweet bonuses... hmm.. alienate friends... alienate co-workers... alienate the clerk at the checkout counter... yeah there are some great advantages
Diagnosed. But support groups? What where? How?
I found one on meetup. Audhd group based in san francisco
404, the empty white room 😢
Sad, because the topic started out sounding so simple
It would be great if there was an Autistics Anonemous organization! It's time!
What do you think?
I don't have imposter syndrome.
Are professionals 100% sure what autism is or isn’t?
From what i ve gathered, many of they don't and you can't entirely blame them. I am one of said professionals and apparently autistic too, on the suspectrum since June. Also maybe it s dangerous expecting or claiming 100% of anything. Thanks Paul for your help on the journey. Greetings from Uruguay
Neuroscience PhD student here, who thinks she might be autistic - the idea of autism itself is a social construct that psychologists and clinicians have defined & is constantly evolving and changing! So I feel like the question or being sure whether or not you're autistic, when you've identified a number of the traits in yourself, is really just a question about how we define the group that is autistic people, as opposed to a question about something that has an objective an undeniable truth to it. I'm personally very confused about whether I'll be deemed autistic by my particular assessor, & the wait time is at least a year, so I really like Paul's idea of describing myself as 'having autistic traits', bc it's quite a concise way of conveying the situation. Has anyone else used this phrase? Do people tend to react well, or weirdly?
@emilyw-b4485 agree with the constantly evolving thing, also the multiple perspectives... I m still trying to find out how it fits. One of the greatest paradoxes i think of the proffession at least from a pschycoanalitical pov is only You have your truth but still You need guidance, and how You discriminante that from suggestion. So trusting ourselves is important
@@sole-g4zsuspectrum! 😅
If you go by self diagnosis, I have everything in the DSM. Does that make me an imposter?
I came here just to say... Asperger's is very different from severe autism. I resent that the diagnosis has been removed and we are all lumped together. No offense intended to autistic people, they are unique and amazing in their own way...
But Asperger's faces entirely different challenges and has different levels of capacity and independence
I see dead people. 😢
Of course there is a scale from mild to severely autistic. A person can be just a little, or borderline autistic, or SO autistic that they can't be left alone and need to be institutionalized. It's not black-and-white, on or off. There are degrees. If I have only a few autistic traits, and not continuously or intensely, then I'm only a little bit autistic. If I have most or all autistic traits, and have them to an extreme degree, then I'm VERY autistic.
The idea is that it's not linear. If I'm a bit better in social interactions, but very sensory sensitive, am I more autistic than someone who can deal better with sensory overloads, but fails in social life?
@@vernamu. If you have MORE autistic traits, and have them at a GREATER INTENSITY, then you are MORE AUTISTIC.
What an goog ignorant comment. If you don’t have enough traits of autism to fit the diagnostic criteria or only experience them occasionally, you’re not autistic. You can’t be a little bit autistic, and you’re either autistic or you aren’t. Those with “severe” autism are usually just people with co-occurring conditions such as an intellectual disability.
I don’t even fit in with outcasts, surprise surprise. 😐🫤
Same