I am going through a divorce after 6 years of marriage and a 2 year old little girl. I'm hoping to find peace in these videos; I feel sad and broken pray for me guys 😢
I finally decided to stop being a nice girl. I am now a good woman. Being nice never got me the guy. I just sacrificed everything that mattered to me and they still didn't choose me. I'm now choosing to be a kind, loving and caring person who isn't afraid to express how she feels, what she wants and needs, have standards and boundaries, and isn't afraid to lose the wrong guy. I just had a guy who hurt me badly multiple times come back and ask for another chance. I had FU confidence and didn't take him back. I told him he showed me who he was and I deserved better and wished him well.
"Let go of your scarcity mindset!" - 2 seconds later - "You DO NOT want to miss this thing we want to sell you -- these DO NOT come around very often!" 😂 Lol. Deep appreciation for Matt's advice but this made me giggle 🤭❤
Amen! Save yourself a minute... a year... enough is enough. You deserve better. Don't settle for less 💯. Go be beautiful, sexy, and the best version of you. Sending love and prayers ❤.
"Anyone who doesn't choose you isn't your home" 💔 Been in a five and a half years LDR relationship now i just noticed how hes word is different when he's with me and when we're not together just realized what he's priority thank you for this video this really helps me a lot, now i will not have any regrets 😊
This hit me hard. I found myself again thinking about a girl that left my life about 2 years ago but I still find myself lost in those beutiful and passionate moments with her that I had never experienced with someone before on that level. Even though the moments only lasted the summer that year it had a huge impact on me. I’m okay nowdays but I feel like I never tought through what happend and it haunts me sometimes. I just want to be in peace of mind with that and let go. This video helped alot. Thank you.
A lot of the things said in this video, also apply to friendships. Strangely enough, as a society, we don't apply the same rules or values to friendships as to romantic relationships, even though friendships tend to last longer and are usually a part of our whole life.
If you dont have standards you have nothing to fall on. I believe he said this many years ago. I always believed it. It gives you grounding and confidence
This is such a wonderful analogy, I felt it in my heart. Sometimes we need to hear these things in different ways to understand them better and actually apply them. Thank you Matthew ❤
2:38 that smile and the way she look at you tells us everything we need to know. i cant wait for such a grateful reaction. but i mean i never took anybody to hawai soooo
Got out of a 5 month thing with a work colleague. We had a great time, she is gorgeous and nice but ultimately she didn’t want to make it any more serious. I have to deal with seeing her at work everyday, and it hurts. But she wasnt my home, she was never going to be..
You never start a relationship by thinking it's a nice hotel room. With time you start to think it's a home you're building together, and when they leave, it's easy to say that they were a nice hotel room. But the life you imagined with them and the house you thought you were building.... man it takes time and self reflection to accept it was just an idea in your mind. I like the concept but easier said than done. If your GF left you, I'm not sure it'd be as easy as saying, she was a ncie hotel room
He gradually unfollowed my social accounts, but he said we could still be friends….. it’s been two weeks since we ended the 5-month relationship. He said he doesn’t love me anymore and that I am no longer attractive to him. He’s been calm and rational this whole time. It’s the first relationship I’ve ever had with anybody, and it broke my heart. I thought at least we could still be friends, but he still unfollowed on some of the social accounts, I feel like he would delete all of them by the end. He restricted me on Instagram and I’ve only texted him there twice since we broke up… all casual chats, nothing special really. I don’t understand. I don’t understand why is he unfollowing me if he really has no feelings for me. Maybe he’s found someone new, but that’s just too cruel to accept.
Hi Matthew, first off, I want to say that I’ve stumbled across your content at the BEST time… I am one month out of a break up (26 month relationship), and your words and meaning and ways of expressing meaning really connect with me on a deep and personal level. I have been excited to join a Virtual Retreat but will be at a work conference for EXACTLY the same dates this weekend (sigh)…. will there be another one in 2023? Again, thank you 🙏🏼 for all that you share…. Thank you to Audrey as well, it is a beautiful combination to have a male/female perspective sharing the stage ❤
Same here. Everything relationship wise seemed fine. She was battling depression and past trauma but I was supportive and present, then out of the blue she needed to heal alone. I mean you can’t argue with that. It still freakin hurts. One minute she appreciated and loved me so much then... poof gone. I wish her nothing but happiness.
After 4 almost 5 years with a girl got broken up with over text I’ve been consumed by grief. I lost a lot of friends during the process feeling alone and lost
The problem with this is that not everyone would compare their partner to a hotel. One night stands maybe but not an actual partner. There are many rooms in a hotel which we love (characteristics of a parter that we love), so we don’t think automatically, ‘’this is great and I’m going to leave because I don’t live here’’. Our hearts grow attached to the bond during the journey of not knowing where it’s going and that cannot be so easily cut off. Love Matthew’s videos though.
Im going through the worst heartbreak of my life with my ex fiance ,i cant sleep at all even when i do i wake up right before i sleep or 2 hours after. Shes said and done the worst things iv ever experienced from anyone and thats comig from someone that witnessed the death of a friend as a teenager, i am desperate to stop these feelings
You know when Matthew is talking about this, but also talking about how he and Audrey took a trip to Hawaii last year, you understand? You understand? YES Matthew, I also want to go with Him to Hawaii 😂😂😂
How to move on from the memories that keep coming and told me if i was did this or that at the moment, it would be better and i would still have my ex.... it really kills me.. its been a month since my break up.. i make her my everything.. i can say i made her my heaven, and i breath for her.. all i feel now is regrets and its so hard to escape the memories that keep me regret and sad
So hard because we discussed our whole life and always said we were soulmates, then all of a sudden she just said she didn’t wanna do it anymore and left. I can’t understand why she left i was such a good boyfriend did everything i could for her, she even said i was a amazing bf but she’s just not wanting the relationship anymore 😢
Matthew please sometimes concentrate on people who have been in a relationship or married for a few years. Talk about well after the honeymoon period. There are lots of people who have an actual home but there's leaks, bad wiring etc etc, Im sure you get my drift. What about those people who have invested years not just weeks or months.
How about this, the home you built is a money pit. You keep investing and trying to fix it but the foundation is faulty or the house was built on quicksand and the foundation can’t be remedied unless you move it to a stable plot (ie new partner).
@@sassenachdragon I agree, I'm always doing that, analogies can be good & sometimes it's the only thing that actually make people see sense. Thanks for the reply, much appreciated. XxX
Great video and I’m trying really hard to move on from my relationship! I’m still struggling to tie it to your analogy as there is an attachment to this person we broke up from when all this years, they are your home and not just a hotel you stay the night in. I think this analogy probably works better if you’ve only just started dating. How can we put this more into perspective if it’s a long term relationship? Thanks!
Hi Matthew I'm going through this right no it's hurting me so much .with Him for 3 and half years. And we got along good but he broke it off said he could not do it anymore. .don't understand how this could happen .we are in our sixties. What does this mean ty for any help
This advice is great but i feel, aimed at couples with no children, no ties, that can more easily walk away. Try 20years and 2 kids and then talk about the scarcity mindset
"web island... Home love forever" it's a new short book I wrote on kindle... A fantasy love story book with a mental health twist... I just think your listeners would like it ❤ author Alexander matthews
I've listened to you for a very long time and yes you're an inspiration I can't folt you, but I listened 2nite on a question that was put to you and the question was ! Matthew, having sex on first night because u want 2 in that moment is OK once 2 of you are happy to do so, but yet a relationship doesn't build for a woman to put out on the first nite. U tell wemon 2 stay high valued but u also say in your videos do what makes you feel gud.. I do love your videos I've really got through alot because of u and shared your concepts with friends , but based on 2 separate utubes 2nite you actually condirected yourself and now I'm bit memorised as to question myself are you the same as the rest on social media please prove me wrong. Edel
I'm having a tremendously hard time accepting that things are over with my sons mom. It's been a three year battle for the two of us, known each other for about 8 years. We tried again and I kind of fucked it up. Lying and manipulation from both sides, friendships ruined ups and downs and now she's dating a guy who lives across the street from my best friends so I see them all the time. My son wants to go over there so on and so forth. When I look across the street it's hard for me to not dwell and imagine what's going on with her or if she's thinking about me. I feel pathetic sometimes. It's rough. I feel alone and really hopeless at times
How is it possible you don't show the time schedule of the retreat? There's people on the other side of the planet that needs to know how to plan their time. I find this very annoying, really.
I’m sorry Matthew but you are comparing a hotel to a human being. All the memories, all the shared travels, the time spent… this is like comparing apples to oranges. It’s not the same and a bit insensitive.
How does any woman gain confidence when she listens to men telling how to be in order for men to like her.? This is crap. Women, be who you are. Be strong, love yourself, value yourself, and don't let men turn you into a puppet. A man who is strong enough himself will love that you are not waiting to be told what to do, how to be, how to please, how to seduce and manipulate. Just be who you are and the guy who finds you will be lucky. Put these relationship snake oil salesmen out of business.
I don't care what anyone says, the truth is I always believed there was never any real good women out here because they're selfish, shallow, greedy etc. I'm 24 and I've never been in a relationship nor on a date because of the repeated rejections, lies, them ignoring me every year and ghosting me because I'm not physically attractive and rich. Age is just a number, not a factor. Greed and popularity are the 2 elements I've seen in every girls' eyes for years. All I ever wanted to do at the time was get to know girls, but again they never gave me the time of day and that's why I gave up because it's pointless.
The interesting psychology is the less sex you have in the first month of dating, I mean no sex just talk and romantic gestures, the more you are attracted to the person because you don't see him just like an object you see him as a human being with wisdom, emotions, feelings, humor, nice hobbies It is an interesting observation that if you wait to have sex, your point of view about the guy is much richer, your love and attraction to him start to be richer, the feeling of charisma is richer, you start to observe little details that can not be explained with our senses and a sense of humility is also a great part of it. in this area men and women are very similar, both have it and if you have the first sex after 2 or 3 months, it can be just plus because the richer the point of view about him his lifestyle, his values, his hobbies, music, science, knowledge the richer experience can be sexually and romantically....after a few months of dating. I am just guessing. I am not an expert. But experts say the same way you treat your sex life, the same way you treat other areas of your life. It's like you go to Paris, you don't want to see all the attractions and the Eiffel Tower on the first day. You just want to get some coffee in a nice restaurant and introduce yourself to the city. After a few days, you visit the attractions to absorb its beauty and interesting stuff about the city. We live in a world of easily selling the product, just by clicking on the button as television likes to promote this mindset So it's obvious that this mindset is adopted also in the romantic areas, but it doesn't work that way. People should be more natural. so you are investing your attention into knowing him, even knowing his flaws that are meaningless because you are interested in him as human, it's called imperfect perfection. You see a tree that has an imperfect shape, or size but the tree is imperfectly perfect because of its natural beauty. Nature is imperfect, and trees are imperfect, therefore they are imperfectly perfect in their beauty. Therefore humans also should not try to look perfect but natural.
“Anyone that doesn’t choose you is not home!” Say it again!!!!
🙌🏻
I liked to dislike to like again because it needed it
Amen!
Say it again!!!!!!!
I am going through a divorce after 6 years of marriage and a 2 year old little girl. I'm hoping to find peace in these videos; I feel sad and broken pray for me guys 😢
Everything will be okay ❤
Sorry for your pain. Everything will be ok. God's got you
You are going to be okay
It will be ok you will find yourself again love from another single Mama ❤
Same here pal after 14 years with three children, it fucking sucks but we will get there. Hope you're well.
I finally decided to stop being a nice girl. I am now a good woman. Being nice never got me the guy. I just sacrificed everything that mattered to me and they still didn't choose me. I'm now choosing to be a kind, loving and caring person who isn't afraid to express how she feels, what she wants and needs, have standards and boundaries, and isn't afraid to lose the wrong guy. I just had a guy who hurt me badly multiple times come back and ask for another chance. I had FU confidence and didn't take him back. I told him he showed me who he was and I deserved better and wished him well.
Home is where I feel safe, accepted, and I have no doubts.
I love this! Our value is not tied to anyone, so when/if they leave you didn’t lose anything.
Im starting to get to the point that "finding love" and "finding the one" is just overrated. I'm just going to start normalising singlehood.
And you’ll be all the happier for it, trust me. Remember this - YOU are The Prize. Not him.
I love Love. Deep down I want a love from the movies. But yea I think singlehood is the move rn 😭
"Let go of your scarcity mindset!" - 2 seconds later - "You DO NOT want to miss this thing we want to sell you -- these DO NOT come around very often!" 😂 Lol. Deep appreciation for Matt's advice but this made me giggle 🤭❤
Amen! Save yourself a minute... a year... enough is enough. You deserve better. Don't settle for less 💯. Go be beautiful, sexy, and the best version of you. Sending love and prayers ❤.
"Anyone who doesn't choose you isn't your home" 💔
Been in a five and a half years LDR relationship now i just noticed how hes word is different when he's with me and when we're not together just realized what he's priority thank you for this video this really helps me a lot, now i will not have any regrets 😊
It's been 7 months, how are you now?
Amazing analogy! I used to struggle so much after being ghosted. I’m battling this scarcity mindset daily and it’s getting easier folks! Thank you!
This hit me hard. I found myself again thinking about a girl that left my life about 2 years ago but I still find myself lost in those beutiful and passionate moments with her that I had never experienced with someone before on that level. Even though the moments only lasted the summer that year it had a huge impact on me. I’m okay nowdays but I feel like I never tought through what happend and it haunts me sometimes. I just want to be in peace of mind with that and let go. This video helped alot. Thank you.
Hi man I hope your doing well , you will heal and it won't hurt anymore once you find the right one , stay strong and never lose hope in God
Hope you’re feeling safer with your thoughts
"ANYONE WHO DOESNT CHOOSE YOU ISNT YOUR HOME."
A lot of the things said in this video, also apply to friendships. Strangely enough, as a society, we don't apply the same rules or values to friendships as to romantic relationships, even though friendships tend to last longer and are usually a part of our whole life.
I love all of the videos that Matthew Hussey makes because it empowers whilst healing and giving me so much confidence
If you dont have standards you have nothing to fall on. I believe he said this many years ago. I always believed it. It gives you grounding and confidence
This is such a wonderful analogy, I felt it in my heart. Sometimes we need to hear these things in different ways to understand them better and actually apply them. Thank you Matthew ❤
go back home and focus on your home... every word you have said is spot on... XXX
Audrey’s gorgeous braids are ON POINT. 🥰
2:38 that smile and the way she look at you tells us everything we need to know. i cant wait for such a grateful reaction. but i mean i never took anybody to hawai soooo
The exact battle i have right now😢thanks for make me feel better to heard this
Golden advice! Wish I had heard this 20 years ago…would have saved me heartache
This is the first video Ive seen in 2 years that has helped me with the heartbreak... WOW. #thankyou
Your videos have the power to change lives. Thank you for using your platform to make a positive impact on the world.
Each of your videos has been hitting me so much lately
Got out of a 5 month thing with a work colleague. We had a great time, she is gorgeous and nice but ultimately she didn’t want to make it any more serious.
I have to deal with seeing her at work everyday, and it hurts. But she wasnt my home, she was never going to be..
To answer your question, I have had many potential boyfriends like that. When I fall for someone, I get really scared of losing them. 😢
You might benefit from seeing a psychologist to treat your attachment problem. Because this is a problem, I know cause I suffer from it.
And then it becomes the thing that repels them away again. We all get it, unfortunately. 😢
I feel like you are speaking directly to me.. 🤦🏽♀️
Needed to hear this today... Thank you
Me too
Thank you
You never start a relationship by thinking it's a nice hotel room. With time you start to think it's a home you're building together, and when they leave, it's easy to say that they were a nice hotel room. But the life you imagined with them and the house you thought you were building.... man it takes time and self reflection to accept it was just an idea in your mind. I like the concept but easier said than done. If your GF left you, I'm not sure it'd be as easy as saying, she was a ncie hotel room
I think this video is for people who broke up and can’t move on
I am so happy for you both Audrey seems adorable!!!!
He gradually unfollowed my social accounts, but he said we could still be friends….. it’s been two weeks since we ended the 5-month relationship. He said he doesn’t love me anymore and that I am no longer attractive to him. He’s been calm and rational this whole time. It’s the first relationship I’ve ever had with anybody, and it broke my heart. I thought at least we could still be friends, but he still unfollowed on some of the social accounts, I feel like he would delete all of them by the end. He restricted me on Instagram and I’ve only texted him there twice since we broke up… all casual chats, nothing special really. I don’t understand. I don’t understand why is he unfollowing me if he really has no feelings for me. Maybe he’s found someone new, but that’s just too cruel to accept.
That video just came at the right Moment, thank you so much ❤
same
Wow..i am so impressed with yr analysis . advice ....
Its amazing and valuable
Hi Matthew, first off, I want to say that I’ve stumbled across your content at the BEST time… I am one month out of a break up (26 month relationship), and your words and meaning and ways of expressing meaning really connect with me on a deep and personal level. I have been excited to join a Virtual Retreat but will be at a work conference for EXACTLY the same dates this weekend (sigh)…. will there be another one in 2023? Again, thank you 🙏🏼 for all that you share…. Thank you to Audrey as well, it is a beautiful combination to have a male/female perspective sharing the stage ❤
Same here. Everything relationship wise seemed fine. She was battling depression and past trauma but I was supportive and present, then out of the blue she needed to heal alone. I mean you can’t argue with that. It still freakin hurts. One minute she appreciated and loved me so much then... poof gone. I wish her nothing but happiness.
Thank you for this.
After 4 almost 5 years with a girl got broken up with over text I’ve been consumed by grief. I lost a lot of friends during the process feeling alone and lost
Same position. Feel you..
Just when I needed this. Thank you, Matthew.
I love their voices ❤
The problem with this is that not everyone would compare their partner to a hotel. One night stands maybe but not an actual partner. There are many rooms in a hotel which we love (characteristics of a parter that we love), so we don’t think automatically, ‘’this is great and I’m going to leave because I don’t live here’’. Our hearts grow attached to the bond during the journey of not knowing where it’s going and that cannot be so easily cut off. Love Matthew’s videos though.
Needed ,needed ,needed !!
Sir lots of thanks to you for the beautiful inspiring videos,
As I watch your volge I really enrich myself a lot.
Love to listen to you over and over.
I would invest but at the moment my rent is more important, but have a fantabulous retreat weekend hope it helps everyone involved 🤗
Very very helpful, thank you🎉
Exactly Matt! I do really agree with you!
Thank you! this helps me a lot 😊
Love this .
Wow I am in this right now.
Glad I discovered this channel
Im going through the worst heartbreak of my life with my ex fiance ,i cant sleep at all even when i do i wake up right before i sleep or 2 hours after. Shes said and done the worst things iv ever experienced from anyone and thats comig from someone that witnessed the death of a friend as a teenager, i am desperate to stop these feelings
It would be really great if you could talk more about this. I think a lot of people suffer with this “scarcity mindset”
Love you guys ❤
Why do I get a feeling that you are about to invite Nahjwa zebian at ur podcast ❤ Welcome Home!!
You know when Matthew is talking about this, but also talking about how he and Audrey took a trip to Hawaii last year, you understand? You understand? YES Matthew, I also want to go with Him to Hawaii 😂😂😂
Love it 🙌💪
I gave her everything, we have 3 children together but she cant stand the sight of me anymore 😢
WOAH…that hit home
So much shame that I can't participate because I don't have any paypal or visa card or mastercard but anyway you are so amazing Matthew
My god thank you
What does love being in love feel like? *Serious question.*
How to move on from the memories that keep coming and told me if i was did this or that at the moment, it would be better and i would still have my ex.... it really kills me.. its been a month since my break up.. i make her my everything.. i can say i made her my heaven, and i breath for her.. all i feel now is regrets and its so hard to escape the memories that keep me regret and sad
Yeah it sucks
So hard because we discussed our whole life and always said we were soulmates, then all of a sudden she just said she didn’t wanna do it anymore and left. I can’t understand why she left i was such a good boyfriend did everything i could for her, she even said i was a amazing bf but she’s just not wanting the relationship anymore 😢
Matthew please sometimes concentrate on people who have been in a relationship or married for a few years. Talk about well after the honeymoon period. There are lots of people who have an actual home but there's leaks, bad wiring etc etc, Im sure you get my drift. What about those people who have invested years not just weeks or months.
How about this, the home you built is a money pit. You keep investing and trying to fix it but the foundation is faulty or the house was built on quicksand and the foundation can’t be remedied unless you move it to a stable plot (ie new partner).
@@sassenachdragon Hi, I love the analogy. XxX
@@hadi20233 You’re welcome… I like that his analogy can be made to make sense from different angles.
@@sassenachdragon I agree, I'm always doing that, analogies can be good & sometimes it's the only thing that actually make people see sense. Thanks for the reply, much appreciated. XxX
I am not afraid of not finding someone like him, I am just so very tired of looking...
I just sent him a good bye VN and changed my number....I'm gone for good!...he lost me...his loss!
Great video and I’m trying really hard to move on from my relationship! I’m still struggling to tie it to your analogy as there is an attachment to this person we broke up from when all this years, they are your home and not just a hotel you stay the night in. I think this analogy probably works better if you’ve only just started dating. How can we put this more into perspective if it’s a long term relationship? Thanks!
I hope you have moved on. Love yourself more.
@@funnygirleverthat’s really sweet of you. Still trying to but hopefully will get there eventually!
I know this story too well. I lost them anyway.
I fcking love you Matt!!!!! Thank you ❤
Hi Matthew I'm going through this right no it's hurting me so much .with Him for 3 and half years. And we got along good but he broke it off said he could not do it anymore. .don't understand how this could happen .we are in our sixties. What does this mean ty for any help
anyone who doesn't choose you, ISN'T your home
Yup
This advice is great but i feel, aimed at couples with no children, no ties, that can more easily walk away. Try 20years and 2 kids and then talk about the scarcity mindset
Anyone who doesn’t choose you isn’t your homework, either…
Mathew...one can be the best person and try so hard and fail with a fake disfunctional human being
No matter how good the hotel is, that hotel is not your home
"web island... Home love forever" it's a new short book I wrote on kindle... A fantasy love story book with a mental health twist... I just think your listeners would like it ❤ author Alexander matthews
Tea.
I've listened to you for a very long time and yes you're an inspiration I can't folt you, but I listened 2nite on a question that was put to you and the question was ! Matthew, having sex on first night because u want 2 in that moment is OK once 2 of you are happy to do so, but yet a relationship doesn't build for a woman to put out on the first nite. U tell wemon 2 stay high valued but u also say in your videos do what makes you feel gud.. I do love your videos I've really got through alot because of u and shared your concepts with friends , but based on 2 separate utubes 2nite you actually condirected yourself and now I'm bit memorised as to question myself are you the same as the rest on social media please prove me wrong. Edel
So how you turn a "Fancy Hotel Experience" into "Your Home"?
"Get rich or die trying":)) I guess
I'm having a tremendously hard time accepting that things are over with my sons mom. It's been a three year battle for the two of us, known each other for about 8 years. We tried again and I kind of fucked it up. Lying and manipulation from both sides, friendships ruined ups and downs and now she's dating a guy who lives across the street from my best friends so I see them all the time. My son wants to go over there so on and so forth. When I look across the street it's hard for me to not dwell and imagine what's going on with her or if she's thinking about me. I feel pathetic sometimes. It's rough. I feel alone and really hopeless at times
How is it possible you don't show the time schedule of the retreat? There's people on the other side of the planet that needs to know how to plan their time.
I find this very annoying, really.
Mat do you have a video that tackles infidelity
Yeaah
I’m sorry Matthew but you are comparing a hotel to a human being. All the memories, all the shared travels, the time spent… this is like comparing apples to oranges. It’s not the same and a bit insensitive.
Im fcking amazing why wouldnt they choose me? Themnot me ill get another rship better
How does any woman gain confidence when she listens to men telling how to be in order for men to like her.? This is crap. Women, be who you are. Be strong, love yourself, value yourself, and don't let men turn you into a puppet. A man who is strong enough himself will love that you are not waiting to be told what to do, how to be, how to please, how to seduce and manipulate. Just be who you are and the guy who finds you will be lucky. Put these relationship snake oil salesmen out of business.
👍👍👍
🙌🏾💜🪽
there is NO OTHER NAME given under heaven whereby men can be saved --- yeshua hamashiach
JESUS - the son of God
I don't care what anyone says, the truth is I always believed there was never any real good women out here because they're selfish, shallow, greedy etc. I'm 24 and I've never been in a relationship nor on a date because of the repeated rejections, lies, them ignoring me every year and ghosting me because I'm not physically attractive and rich. Age is just a number, not a factor. Greed and popularity are the 2 elements I've seen in every girls' eyes for years. All I ever wanted to do at the time was get to know girls, but again they never gave me the time of day and that's why I gave up because it's pointless.
Shadow work.
The interesting psychology is the less sex you have in the first month of dating,
I mean no sex just talk and romantic gestures,
the more you are attracted to the person
because you don't see him just like an object
you see him as a human being with wisdom, emotions, feelings, humor, nice hobbies
It is an interesting observation that if you wait to have sex, your point of view about the guy is much richer,
your love and attraction to him start to be richer, the feeling of charisma is richer,
you start to observe little details that can not be explained with our senses
and a sense of humility is also a great part of it.
in this area men and women are very similar, both have it
and if you have the first sex after 2 or 3 months, it can be just plus
because the richer the point of view about him
his lifestyle, his values, his hobbies, music, science, knowledge
the richer experience can be sexually and romantically....after a few months of dating.
I am just guessing. I am not an expert.
But experts say
the same way you treat your sex life,
the same way you treat other areas of your life.
It's like you go to Paris, you don't want to see all the attractions and the Eiffel Tower on the first day.
You just want to get some coffee in a nice restaurant and introduce yourself to the city.
After a few days, you visit the attractions to absorb its beauty and interesting stuff about the city.
We live in a world of easily selling the product, just by clicking on the button
as television likes to promote this mindset
So it's obvious that this mindset is adopted also in the romantic areas, but it doesn't work that way.
People should be more natural.
so you are investing your attention into knowing him, even knowing his flaws that are meaningless
because you are interested in him as human, it's called imperfect perfection.
You see a tree that has an imperfect shape, or size but the tree is imperfectly perfect because of its natural beauty.
Nature is imperfect, and trees are imperfect, therefore they are imperfectly perfect in their beauty.
Therefore humans also should not try to look perfect but natural.