There is no such thing as an appropriate timetable to have sex. I’ve met couples that had sex on the first date and are still paired together, several years later and are happy. I’ve met couples that waited a few dates to have sex, and their relationship still didn’t last. My opinion? Have sex when you’re comfortable, whether it’s on the first date or the seventh date. If the person you have sex with begins to act differently after having sex with you, their behavior is a reflection of them, not you. It isn’t personal.
I slept with my wife on our first meeting, it wasn't even a date. She was also divorced with a 10 month old son. Both of us had only a high school education and very little in material belongings. She went on to earn a six figure income as well as myself making good money. Two daughters were added to the family as well. Been together 36 years with 33 married. We are still very much in love. I guess we are the exception to the rule.
No you are not an exception, you are just a rare kind of man who respects a woman you have sex with and don't judge her or slut shaming her for having sex. Some man are not able to even see a person in a woman but just a sexual object. They messure her velue as person by counting the days she waits to have sex with him.
My two favorites coming together, what an unexpected and pleasant surprise! Love you both, you have both helped and empowered me so much. Thank you!!! ❤
I wanted to date when my marriage ended and I was in my early 50s. I found that men were so gross. Sleeping with anyone they could get their hands on and were all over the dating sites. The topic of sex would come up on the first date. Always talking about their ex’s. Coming on to me before dinner was over. Not a gentleman in sight. Eventually after a few years of this I stopped completely-no more dating. That was a year and a half ago. I have boundaries and self worth and love. I am at peace and love my life. I think this is so important because I needed to heal as do so many. I’m thankful I realized this and I wish this for others. If you heal then the type you’re attracting will improve. Remember hurt people attract hurt people. Do the work. Get the ego in check.
Talking about ex's is a definite turn off but the rest is actually understandable. At your age, most people have most of their life figured out. Have a job, a house, hobbies, etc. Sex is natural and enjoyable so they were looking for a component that was missing from their life. I would be very wary of someone that wanted to sleep around and rack up a high body count but if I was dating, I would expect a natural progression in a reasonable amount of time. Within the first date, physical attraction should be determined while going out and doing something fun. If things went well and they didn't seem like a weirdo, schedule another date. On the second, talk about real life goals, values, etc. If they seem flaky or just aren't in the same place, I'd pass. Date three, something more intimate, maybe not sex but definitely kissing to see if that chemistry is there. Now the thing is, most people should _never_ even get to date three. Which means if someone does, intimacy is the next step. What I found when I started dating again is that most women were looking for something that just wasn't realistic with where they were in life because, frankly, you're not really building a life together after 25. For the most part, everything is built and you're just looking for someone that has their stuff together you can enjoy time with who shares values so you won't be fighting(politics, religion, etc) I nearly gave up too but meant an incredibly woman that almost seems too good to be true but we mesh incredibly well so who knows? Maybe there's hope for you as well.
Key word "Boundaries" That's shows you're mentally fit. A red flag, men using dating sites. You are a high value women and some mentally fit man will see that.
The same for me after my marriage ended. I had two further long-term partners, but finally, I've ended up alone for the last 14 years. It's not wonderful but it's OK. I have raised my standards, which is great!
@@amandayorke481 My marriage almost ended. It took a lot of mental energy to save it. Despite the pain i'm glad i did. You sound like a high value woman, i hope you find someone genuine if you choose to date in the future.
@@PJHEATERMAN Dear man, I'm already 68! I suspect I'll be dead before I find a suitable partner. Unfortunately, when younger - a feminist, and holding high academic posts - I assumed the men I was in regular contact with would be rational and enlightened, so my guard was down. I also found myself, unknowingly, attracted to rather dangerous types who drank or drugged or engaged in perilous sports. It has been interesting - I've abseiled down into unexplored caverns well below the earth's surface, sailed in international yacht races, caught 10' waves at top surfing beaches, sat thrilled besides a lunatic driving a very fast car, married a man who'd previously been a rally driver and once landed a light plane with one engine on fire (on a deserted beach), was taught to drive by a drug-addicted paraplegic in his specially-modified car (to do him justice, he HAD once found a loophole in Einstein's Theory of Relativity, so not an idiot), and finally got my own motorbike licence (a good move, I think - better to trust my own judgment), at the age of 38, bought a new bike and promptly rode halfway across the country. I'd like a man who could cook (AND clean up afterwards!), could discuss literature, and was moderate in his habits.
I'm 32, still a virgin, and nobody knows this about me because of the amount of shame there is around being one these days. I'm an attractive young woman, always have had the option to do it, and there are no shortage of men who are willing to sleep with me out here in NYC. But I know that the regret that would come from having a one night stand is greater than the pleasure I would feel from it. I have unfortunately not had a long term relationship yet, because I've moved around so many times in my 20s. I don't think women should be shamed for having sex, but I've noticed that with the anti-slut-shaming crowd, there's also a lot of people who shame for not having it and for being a virgin.
Good for you that is awesome do not be ashamed of being a virgin. I wish I was in you shoes. Sex makes life compilcted. If I did not have the detraction of sex I would have been able to focus on school and career that I was hoping for. Godbless you all good things take time. I hope you find a man that love you so much he is happy to wait. 😊
@@jennifertelfer4787 Aw thank you so much! It's been hard finding a man who wants to date a virgin lol... I think with NYC's hookup culture, I am the outlier. I also can't use dating apps to meet people since a majority of people on apps want to hook up. I hope you find all the happiness in the world too, kind stranger!
Good for you for holding on for the right person. Love everything about you, then you will attract someone worthy. There is No shame in being a virgin, that seems to be political correctness gone nuts again.
Truth is, the healthier you get, the more you realize that any attempt to fix others, is an attempt to fix yourself. I hope you can find the answers you seek.❤
I wouldn't have done all of that if I had known it wouldn't work out. I only want to be with one person for the rest of my life. I want to give my whole energy into one relationship. I don't want to enjoy casual sex. Thats not part of my moral system. I'm not people pleasing. I am looking for a forever committment and I don't want anything less.
Sex without love and commitment sooner or later causes pain. Most women can’t do it. We are not wired this way. Hook up culture hurts so many people and it shouldn’t be “normalized”.
Casual sex is only normalized for men. Women are still judged by the number of sex partners they have and by how soon they sleep with men. Nobody in this video is saying women should have casual sex, it simply says that if a woman wants to do it she shouldn't back down just because someone will think she's "easy". It's fine to not want casual sex. It's fine not to want sex at all. Interpreting what has been said here as "normalizing" casual sex and using words like "wired" to describe women's behavior while ignoring the existing double standards suggests that you're the one who has a problem with women who do not subscribe to your type of sexuality.
@@veronabriscoe595 Nobody is pushing women to be like men. She's clearly talking about women who want sex but avoid it out of fear of what the guy will say. You're the one trying to push women who disagree with you into a box they don't belong. It's ok not to hook up, but don't expect every woman who doesn't share your view of sexuality to have been brainwashed to be more like a man.
The best is when you're with a guy who goes on and on about how great you are, then you sleep with him and because he actually has no self-esteem he immediately devalues anyone who would sleep with his lowly self and ends things or makes you end them by being a passive-aggressive douchebag. So I think I'm helping bring their self-esteem up and am happy to do so, only to trigger the opposite... -__- I understand this dynamic now, but it was DEVASTATING for large parts of my life. I like you, until I love you and you love me, then I have to run screaming into the night... *Good Lord *
@@incassable See you've got the douchebag thing down, practicing on the internet for when your left hand finally gets drunk enough to let you touch it? :)
It’s sad having been with an insecure abusive narcissistic guy where everything turned into about him and for him…I came into the relationship with this videos mindset and then was verbally and emotionally abused on how everything I did and said was invalid, was not good enough, I’m not attractive, or not the way he wanted it. When I got out of the relationship, videos like these make me think “are there guys who are actually going to consider me out there and not devalue me?” Unfortunately, that last dude abused me until I was so insecure about anything I did. But! I’ve been doing the work to get to a good place mentally and it’s all a matter of meeting those guys with integrity, respect, and morals.
After your experience you know what to look for. Narcissists are so obvious in their game and you can spot them in the first or second meeting. If you have boundaries they look foolish and exposed for the ridiculous people they are.
I love what Matthew says about the date. “I want to have a good time and I want you to have a good time too”. And inviting them to a place you love. Because you’re going to be happy and having a great time which could set fire to other person. Often that excitement is contagious
I personally think the world of sex would be more satisfying and more fulfilling if women (and men) were completely honest with what they want and how they want it, with themselves and with each other. Breaking free from the fear of not being wanted and embracing the power of being wanted as we are, showing our wants and needs, verbalising them and allowing the other person to show up for us, if they want/are able to, in the way we need/would like them to or even in ways we never thought about and the can bring to the table. Forcing oneself to do things your aren't yet comfortable with is not the way to start a healthy relationship and there's the danger of creating a very destructive pattern that will destroy the person and the relationship in the long term.
That’s right! You need to know what excites you. And then feeling you being really excited over them and gaining lots of pleasure most of the time gets them super excited too
I totally agree with Emily. I read Diana Richardson's work on Sex & Tantra. We have to remember Sex is both Psychological and Biological, but it starts in being in tune with your body with presence; reconciling the past (shame) and unchained from the future (worry). Sex is sacrificial in nature as we "lose" ourselves. This is also the transformative bit with the practice. Intention and Wisdom are definitely key.
As a man, I would like to speak on why I personally may get put off by a woman that have had many sexual partners. “Women are the gatekeepers of sex.” An oversimplification of the dynamics but stay with me. Considering that it is up to the women to choose who they sleep with (and let’s agree that the majority of women are looking for a substantial, long-lasting relationships) then women that have had a lot of sex with many different men could indicate poor decision making on her part. So in turn, she is ‘giving away’ her most valuable asset to men that perhaps didn’t deserve her in the first place, in turn lowering her value overall. Another reason is about whether the woman loves herself. As briefly mentioned in this video, if she is using sex as a way to entice the man and not deriving any real pleasure from it herself, we men may be able to see that behaviour which could devalue her - why should I love you when you don’t love yourself. In fact, I would say a woman that makes a man wait, knows her worth, owns it and ultimately embodies that self-love is one of the sexiest things in the world. Just to add, I don’t agree that we should chastise women for wanting to have sex, they have every right to have great sex, whether that is casual or otherwise. If I had to try “solve” this issue, I would advise women to wait just a little while longer before having sex with someone new and to please please listen to your intuition. There’s a reason why the phrase, “women’s intuition” exists and that’s because deep down you know if a guy is using you for sex or not. By letting him wait for sex, it will only help you differentiate between the good and bad men.
You are assuming many things wrong. And your text is full of contradiction. Woman aren't any gatekeepers of nothing. We can have sex just because we want and we like it. Same as man does. Only that you as man are judging woman for having sex just for it's own sake and we are not judging you for having sex with anyone. Now you are trying to find excuses for your judging. We are not always looking for a relationship. But we all know the reason why man judge woman for having sex with other men. Because you want to be the only one and the best. You can't handle the concurrence that may have been better than you. Well, we need to handle it too. And the second very problematic thing you said is that a woman who has no "self-respect" doesn't earn to be lrespected by you or loved by any man (and you are assuming that sleeping with a man you don't want to be with in relationships means lacking self-respect. Why? Cause you don't respect women you sleep with? ) This is problematic in sooo many ways but i have no time to explain it to you right now. That's a topic for itself 1:07 1:07
@@Ossterhase you must have missed the part where I mentioned about sex in relation to wanting to find a long term relationship. Of course women can have (and enjoy sex) and it expect or want nothing more. I was however talking about sex in the frame of when the women is seeking a relationship from the man.
@@AtiAnthony yeah, what about that? If you're seeking a relationship with a woman, you don't want to have sex with her for the first 6 months? You wait till you are engaged? I am sure you don't have any sex with women if you are seeking a relationship. Cause you don't want a relationship with a woman "without self -respect".
What if a woman doesn't care what you think of the number of her sex partners? What if she doesn't share all her sexual experiences with you and doesn't even want to tell you the number of men she had sex with?
Im a 61 year old female and started being sexually active in the late 70s .In my experience.aa i always had a very healthy sex drive.Found that i struggled with that feeling of really wanting to let go but mostly felt if i did ,id be judged as slutty .I felt that most guys would think that .Whether because of societal conditioning ..If you approach sleeping with a guy as something u really want to do ,fine but as a woman i found that you need to protect your mental amd emotional health in this area .
I don't understand why guys ask "what's your favorite so and so and such and such" instead of offering the potential of a new experience? Why do something that someone else has discovered that she likes instead of new adventures? I struggle with this question/answer.
Women have been taught, especially in religious upbringing, that we are supposed to be innocent, and serve/service our man. It's so hard to unlearn this nonsense. It's generational.
I believe it was not disease and crops that were the trigger to control women's behavior. I believe men wanted to control and that's the real reason behind how women were called unclean, stupid, need a man or we won't survive. Control and shaming of the "weaker" sex, has always been around, and religion was used to tell people that's the way it is supposed to be.
I want to add my 2 cents worth as I'm more than likely old enough to be a grandmother to some of you. The occasional hopping into bed will always happen yet in this day and age (YES, I just said that) we're still dealing with mounds of STD's. Yet, if you think you don't need oral sex during the first time sexual encounter and are willing to risk getting low-risk HPV then I say go right ahead. But, if you think oral sex should also take place then you can ' safely ' include HIGH RISK HPV with the potential of HSV-1. Happy love making!!
@@saberwolf156thank you for pointing this out. Other things that need to be put on the table - you can also get HSV through condom use. You can shed when you carry the virus but have never experienced symptoms, you may have HSV and not even know it. So instead of STD shaming, lets get more myths out on the table.
@@hollyj2925 You're talking 20 percent. 1in5 is a big risk. I've been with my wife for 36 years so i don't worry about these things, but others should.
She got the assumption wrong, its not that "Its bad for women to explore their sexuality and know what they want" in general. It is however bad for those women who want to have family and kids to allow their expectations of what a guy meant for them can offer to be set by sought after guys who would never be with them long term, and who are just with them because they're easy. Because what these women don't realize is that they then impose their newly set standards on guys when looking for a long-term partner as well, not realizing that they're now offering a way different deal, the real work, that none of their lovers would've ever chosen them for, and they are left wondering why nobody offers them a ring. And then come the words: "I'll rather die alone then" instead of "I'm so glad I waited", both said by the same women given the same prospect of guys but only one without having seen 100 playboys previously. Its spoiling your view of men to an extreme, and its very rough resetting your standards once you've done this. Therefore, by all means, explore your sexuality, but do it after your partner has proven he wants you for the long term, because this is the only right order if you want a family as a woman.
This is the issue. Nobody is telling you to not do what you want to do. You do you and I hope it brings you happiness. The issue become when women start shaming men that also have standards and reject women that have been promiscuous. If you're happy with your history, why the need to shame men that you want but don't want you? You live your life and let them live theirs. There is absolutely no need for shame when it's a basic incompatibility.
"Casual sex" is an oxymoron. Nothing about catching/spreading STDs or conceiving a child is anywhere near the vein of "casual". I don't pass judgement on those who prefer a more sexually active lifestyle but for the love of all that is good, wear protection! Never think that it can't happen to you!
It liberates you and makes life so much better- Casual Sex with two responsible adults… IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE A Blissful experience- NO SHAME in having casual sex-
@@Carolina0873 my point isn't about shame. It's about prevention. And in case no one told you, that burning sensation when you pee requires a doctor's visit.
My advice to women is don’t sleep with a man for at least 8 dates. You can do other things with him and that’s fine but it’s the only way to vet out the bad men. There’s so many men that will be nice for 2 dates get what he wants and then be absolutely horrible. Make sure he is introduced to your dad, brother, uncle before you sleep with him. Any man you respect that isn’t trying to fûck you. Men will be able to tell if he’s fake or not. How does he respond when you reject sex from him? A good man won’t be bothered at all.
I disagree. I think 8 dates is an arbitrary time limit. If the goal is to not feel "used", then I feel like a much better judge of whether or not to sleep with a man is: do you trust him fully? That means, does he show up when he says he will? Does he keep dates and not cancel them? Does he speak to you in a way where you believe every word that he says? Does he answer your questions with precision and not vagueness? If not, then that is where I would hold off having sex until all my doubts have been addressed. Also, btw--why do you need to make sure a man is introduced to your brother, dad, uncle, etc. before you sleep with him? That comment feels like it has a lot of sexist undertones. You should be able to trust your own intuition about a man, rather than exporting that intuition to a whole lot of OTHER MEN.
A man that has options has no time for women playing games like that. And since more and more women do Foodie Dates, sucking guys for free meals we are warning all men to never settle for this crap. Blame the women who are treating men like wallets for it.
@@yesreneau - 8 is just a guideline. Women should always ask their dad, brother etc because women make terrible choices in men. Women choose men based on how he made them “feel” not if he’d a good man. It’s why this video exists and it’s why women all have a “toxic” ex.
I watch your videos and try to follow to your advice but you don't know how hard it is to only been turned on by the wrong guys and been forced to refrain from sex also because first you don't want to hurt yourself and second because you don't want to reward the bad behaviour. We are humans and have instincts and when you can't just casually meet them or meet them in the right circumstances (a relationship) is a real torture that eats your soul.
I slept with my fiancée two weeks into dating. He proposed in September after 4 years of being together. We both feel like we’ve won the lottery with each other. I agree with her a lot, however, we live in the US. I can understand why this mindset is unwise/unsafe to have in countries where women are more severely judged for behaviors men are allowed to have. I think she’s referring to women who live in places where they won’t be ostracized for it.
This is a very important topic...if both understand each other the better they ma focus on kids and protecting helping the kids and teens to make progress etc. prevent violence in world etc.
I think sex is only enjoyable when the two minds and hearts are deeply connected. Otherwise it is just an animal act you won't feel really good afterwards
I respectfully do not agree with Dr Emily and her promotion of casual sex. I like what what she said though about how sex should not be performative. That was good.
I've read some comments and i really don't know under which rock you are living. The most experienced in bed women get the best guys in character or/and financially. That is the dream of a man. Unfortunately...
I dont think so Doctor, however their is a saying I got yo learn now for men,"To Monks and Saints, The One that lived in you couldnt be you, the one that gonna live you shouldnt be you" what does this mean Doctor. It means we need to express ourself well out enough and church and around it is seen as a view as journey started in a ship can reach or not but with ships the loss can never be forgotten. Is it for the great movement of europeans in religion they marched or simply as governance and terms say colonisation?
Look, let's not play games. A woman's body is the number one thing that draws a man to her. She can be slutty if she wants and a guy that just wants to 'hit it and quit it' won't care. But a guy looking for a relationship WILL care. He doesn't want a woman that's been with lots of guys because, in our eyes, it cheapens her. Think of a Ferarri. Exotic and most people would love to have one but it's cost prohibitive. Very few can afford it so that scarcity helps to give it value. If everyone could have a Ferarri, it'd lose it's appeal. We don't expect her to be a virgin but if she's had sex with men like you would give out candy on Halloween, it's a hard pass for anything serious. You can try to argue the same is held true for men by a majority of women but we know it often isn't viewed the same way. Because women can have a new sexual partner _very_ easily compared to a man, a man that can do the same is seen as something special which makes women wonder what it is about him that other women will open themselves to him. It's part curiosity and part competition to try to convince him that she's better than the women who came before. The only way a woman can have sex with a man early on without negative perception is if she sleep with very few people and holds a standard that's difficult to meet.
You compare women to objects, in this case cars. Why do all men think that women want to attract them and only them? What if she doesn't tell you how many partners she had? How old are you btw?
@@juditseregelyes5320 Relax. Cars were used because it's the easiest comparison any person will be able to understand. The faux outrage isn't needed, especially since plenty of women view men as little more than a means to get what they want. That's dehumanizing too, isn't it? And you clearly missed the point. If something is rare and desired, it has greater value than something that is common and easily obtained. Oftentimes she doesn't have to even give a number since her behavior will indicate whether or not she's been with many men. Quite similar to warning coloration. If someone has multicolored hair, for instance, it strongly hints at mental issues and alerts others around them they should be avoided. Frankly, you don't have to like any of this because you don't get to decide how men view your lifestyle. By all means, live however you like(as long as it doesn't harm others) but understand that there are consequences for your choices and growing old alone is one possible consequence when you disregard what others value in a mate for long-term relationships.
@@csx6910 Multicolored hair means mental illness? Have you ever heard about new trends like ombre and balayage? Hairdressers often do that nowadays. Or they just put some highlights in someone's hair for a wedding to give the person better looks. Also here in Hungary, which is a CEE Country you know,...in London or New York there can be even more hair coloring trends. How old are you? I'm 51 but my mother is more open-minded than you are. I live with the same man since 2001. We have 2 children together. If I ever lose him I prefer staying alone than sharing my life with a man who demands a one-colur hair or a past without other relationships (ha-ha).
@@juditseregelyes5320 You have a bit of trouble with reading comprehension, don't you? " it strongly hints at mental issues"; HINTS AT, I did not say it automatically means every single person with multicolored hair has mental illness. You either attempted to make a Strawman argument or you just allowed your emotions to get the better of you. And really, you weren't even able to deduce that "multicolored", in this context, meant unnatural colors like pink, blue, etc. But maybe that's just because you're old, out of touch with society, and are sheltered. And I get the impression you and your mother are so open-minded, your brains have fallen out lol It's cute that you believe you'd have the option of getting another man should anything happen to the one you have. You have displayed the very warning signs that men today look out for because many woman feel they should be a 'free spirit' and not be held accountable for their past. You would be alone. Because really, you are so women-centric that you _actually_ think my comments come down only to concern about unnatural hair color(that is a red flag easily spotted) or a woman with past relationships when literally no-one said men want a woman that has never been in one lol But, again, you'd have to go back, reread, and actually understand what was written which you've demonstrated you're incapable of doing. Stay in Hungary where life is so simple, you don't have to worry about poor reasoning skills to survive cuz in more developed parts of the world, you wouldn't do well. ✌
How TF do men ‘Know’ how many partners a woman has had ? She could lie about the amount of partners. You guys are going with your perception of this woman. For all you know she slept with you quickly because she felt an ínstense attraction and chemistry. That doesn’t mean she feels this and acts on those emotions with every one. That’s the difference between us-all you guys see is walking holes and you all assume we view sex the way you do.
People who don't agree with you are not misogynist. They just don't agree. Men are genetically predisposed to value virgins because we are not sure of Paternity. Women are. Men who don't mind being Cuckolded did not reproduce at the same rate. Territoriality is a secondary psych effect of Testosterone. It was a survival trait for the last 75000 years. Men and Women are not the same and if you studied Evol Psy and Biology you would understand that.
If I like a woman, I mean *really* like a woman, then I don't want to sleep with her for a while. I want the anticipation and desire for both of us to build so much that when we finally do.....🎆🎇🎆. But here's the thing ladies, some women (not all) but some women, if you *don't* try to sleep with them almost immediately, then they see you as the nice guy and lose interest. I've figured out how to keep her sexually interested and not see me as just a friend even without having sex with her. Playful touching, being sexually suggestive, using enuendos. But some men may not have all do the tricks that I do. Maybe just keep that in mind that if you're one of these types of women, maybe he's intentionally not trying to sleep with you immediately for a good reason. Be patient. Sometimes, good things come to people who are patient.
It's the Patriarchy Malfunction...Wait on the Union Within the Heart and Soul of the Matters and Those Concerned Before the People and the Steeple including the Bedroom. Though There are No Guarantees and yet, If It's Not an 8 Out of 10 Win for Both Parties Concerned on Varying Levels Drop It. Don't Enable, Don't People Please etc... NYC
1, 2, 4, 64 dates… Does not matter - once you have sex the dynamic shift occurs and the question of whether it becomes a relationship is in the hands of the man… Men care about bodycount and paternity - it is evolutionary hardwired… We are all free to act as we please and sleep with whom we please but our biological imperative always prevails…
@@juditseregelyes5320 She may impact the ‘future’ of it but they key point is women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of relationships… Such is the way of our species…
@@Ossterhase My wife of ten years has a wonderful and carefree life with me… She has had a total of two sexual partners including me… I am sorry you are triggered by the reality of human nature… Also, I decided I would be in the relationship and eventual marriage with my wife - not her…
This interview is the ULTIMATE opposite of Lewis Howes interview and his perspective about having sex with a guy early = giving him a 1 million dollars. I love her perspective its alot more empowering to women and men...and Matt...you should pick a side :) you keep flip floping btw these two ideologies..
I would prefer you interviewing women like your fiance (who is very feminine and soft person) than this woman (more like a warrior manish person tearing your head off when you don't smile nicely) when you are asking about experiece on relationships. ;) They will have different opinions on men. Guaranteed.
Generally the women who support being promiscuous like this young lady who has already established that she has a bodycount under her belt and she has to find a way to justify why she has been passed around so many times. I've seen what happens when you are not valuing yourself and it's not a pretty picture. If you're looking for marriage, there are exceptions, but the rule has been that you will not be considered marriage material. I've already read a couple of comments, only two, up to this point, so that should tell you how much of an exception it is to be promoting promiscuity.
Yep , she is not in long term relationship. I listen to women in long term relationship that have been like 40 years in marriage etc. they say the opposite and it’s because it’s important to know the person first.
@@rainbow9987 Yes I agree , but I believe this is more a video ment for people who have a casual relationship not looking for a longterm relationship , I just started to see some one and he wanted to have sex the first day already and I told him no I want to know you first lets know each other first and I am happy I did so he is still interested in me after me telling him this 😊😊
First i don't like the looks that she's giving. Very promiscuous. I don't like the fact that she's not looking directly at Matthew but rather on the cameras. Lastly you talk just for sex. Women who just want sex are not your audience. They will do it and have no care in the word. And because they are cold men will fall for them. Your audience is women who really want this guy, who are really turned on by him because they also have feelings for him. Yes, you forgot about FEELINGS that's what makes us having second thoughts about surrendering physically. Because on one hand we really want this but we are risking our feelings because we don't just want that...
I'm not buying a car without driving a car. If sex is not important to you I guess this if fine. Men are being warned about Marriage is just Financial Abuse currently, so good luck on this advice.
Don't enter into a sexual relationship with someone who you don't like having sex with. Don't expect a man to value as a sexual partner if you want to exchange resources for sex. If you are not paying for dates, you are taking money for NOT having sex, which is a bad deal for a man.
Jesus Wasn't Married. Look it up! This is the classic case of religous people assigning their personal belief to their religon. Christianity is made up of people who had the bible read to them, and Atheism is full of people who have read the bible.
No, you dont need to lay it all out there what you like, which spots make you come etc. Its a turn off for many, be natural, let it all happen naturally!!!
I think this all sounds good in theory, but in practicality, women are already incredibly selfish and have all the power in the beginning. Implying that they don’t is just false. Women already use men all the time for dinner, for rent, for their car note, etc. The argument that they can somehow retake the reigns is just ridiculous since they’ve never lost it. In fact, it’s even applauded when women are able to finesse men.
@@b2themfeto No. That's like me saying "all men want sex now and no commitment." It may be true for a small cohort of men, but nothing can be applied to ALL men. There are plenty of happy marriages out there, and happy relationships. Not all women are "using men" for stuff. Especially when a majority of women are now out-earning men, they don't need men for money anymore. A lot of men say they feel used for stuff because they don't have any other way to justify why they can't find a good woman. Maybe look inward and realize that the problem might be your attitude toward women
@@b2themfeto There's a different between "most" and "best". I'd try to separate yourself from "most" women and start to put yourself in environments where you're meeting the "best" women for you (i.e. the ones who aren't incredibly selfish, etc.).
There is no such thing as an appropriate timetable to have sex. I’ve met couples that had sex on the first date and are still paired together, several years later and are happy. I’ve met couples that waited a few dates to have sex, and their relationship still didn’t last. My opinion? Have sex when you’re comfortable, whether it’s on the first date or the seventh date. If the person you have sex with begins to act differently after having sex with you, their behavior is a reflection of them, not you. It isn’t personal.
This video is so spot on, and this comment section is so... not
So, you like to hear pretty lies. So, don't be surprised when people lie to you. If you punish the truth, expect to be lied to.
I slept with my wife on our first meeting, it wasn't even a date. She was also divorced with a 10 month old son. Both of us had only a high school education and very little in material belongings. She went on to earn a six figure income as well as myself making good money. Two daughters were added to the family as well. Been together 36 years with 33 married. We are still very much in love. I guess we are the exception to the rule.
Exactly, you are an exception
No you are not an exception, you are just a rare kind of man who respects a woman you have sex with and don't judge her or slut shaming her for having sex. Some man are not able to even see a person in a woman but just a sexual object. They messure her velue as person by counting the days she waits to have sex with him.
@@Ossterhase very well said, thank you!
I'm really, really happy for you both!
@@amandayorke481 It's a wonderful feeling to understand what real love is. It eludes so many people.
My two favorites coming together, what an unexpected and pleasant surprise! Love you both, you have both helped and empowered me so much. Thank you!!! ❤
I wanted to date when my marriage ended and I was in my early 50s. I found that men were so gross. Sleeping with anyone they could get their hands on and were all over the dating sites. The topic of sex would come up on the first date. Always talking about their ex’s. Coming on to me before dinner was over. Not a gentleman in sight.
Eventually after a few years of this I stopped completely-no more dating. That was a year and a half ago. I have boundaries and self worth and love. I am at peace and love my life. I think this is so important because I needed to heal as do so many. I’m thankful I realized this and I wish this for others. If you heal then the type you’re attracting will improve. Remember hurt people attract hurt people. Do the work. Get the ego in check.
Talking about ex's is a definite turn off but the rest is actually understandable. At your age, most people have most of their life figured out. Have a job, a house, hobbies, etc. Sex is natural and enjoyable so they were looking for a component that was missing from their life. I would be very wary of someone that wanted to sleep around and rack up a high body count but if I was dating, I would expect a natural progression in a reasonable amount of time. Within the first date, physical attraction should be determined while going out and doing something fun. If things went well and they didn't seem like a weirdo, schedule another date. On the second, talk about real life goals, values, etc. If they seem flaky or just aren't in the same place, I'd pass. Date three, something more intimate, maybe not sex but definitely kissing to see if that chemistry is there.
Now the thing is, most people should _never_ even get to date three. Which means if someone does, intimacy is the next step.
What I found when I started dating again is that most women were looking for something that just wasn't realistic with where they were in life because, frankly, you're not really building a life together after 25. For the most part, everything is built and you're just looking for someone that has their stuff together you can enjoy time with who shares values so you won't be fighting(politics, religion, etc)
I nearly gave up too but meant an incredibly woman that almost seems too good to be true but we mesh incredibly well so who knows? Maybe there's hope for you as well.
Key word "Boundaries" That's shows you're mentally fit. A red flag, men using dating sites. You are a high value women and some mentally fit man will see that.
The same for me after my marriage ended. I had two further long-term partners, but finally, I've ended up alone for the last 14 years. It's not wonderful but it's OK. I have raised my standards, which is great!
@@amandayorke481 My marriage almost ended. It took a lot of mental energy to save it. Despite the pain i'm glad i did. You sound like a high value woman, i hope you find someone genuine if you choose to date in the future.
@@PJHEATERMAN Dear man, I'm already 68! I suspect I'll be dead before I find a suitable partner. Unfortunately, when younger - a feminist, and holding high academic posts - I assumed the men I was in regular contact with would be rational and enlightened, so my guard was down. I also found myself, unknowingly, attracted to rather dangerous types who drank or drugged or engaged in perilous sports. It has been interesting - I've abseiled down into unexplored caverns well below the earth's surface, sailed in international yacht races, caught 10' waves at top surfing beaches, sat thrilled besides a lunatic driving a very fast car, married a man who'd previously been a rally driver and once landed a light plane with one engine on fire (on a deserted beach), was taught to drive by a drug-addicted paraplegic in his specially-modified car (to do him justice, he HAD once found a loophole in Einstein's Theory of Relativity, so not an idiot), and finally got my own motorbike licence (a good move, I think - better to trust my own judgment), at the age of 38, bought a new bike and promptly rode halfway across the country. I'd like a man who could cook (AND clean up afterwards!), could discuss literature, and was moderate in his habits.
I'm 32, still a virgin, and nobody knows this about me because of the amount of shame there is around being one these days. I'm an attractive young woman, always have had the option to do it, and there are no shortage of men who are willing to sleep with me out here in NYC. But I know that the regret that would come from having a one night stand is greater than the pleasure I would feel from it. I have unfortunately not had a long term relationship yet, because I've moved around so many times in my 20s.
I don't think women should be shamed for having sex, but I've noticed that with the anti-slut-shaming crowd, there's also a lot of people who shame for not having it and for being a virgin.
Good for you that is awesome do not be ashamed of being a virgin. I wish I was in you shoes. Sex makes life compilcted. If I did not have the detraction of sex I would have been able to focus on school and career that I was hoping for. Godbless you all good things take time. I hope you find a man that love you so much he is happy to wait. 😊
Stay a virgin. The dating pool is not worth giving that gift up.
@@jennifertelfer4787 Aw thank you so much! It's been hard finding a man who wants to date a virgin lol... I think with NYC's hookup culture, I am the outlier. I also can't use dating apps to meet people since a majority of people on apps want to hook up.
I hope you find all the happiness in the world too, kind stranger!
@@Annietekke I’m the same age and I’m a virgin as well. I agree, it’s the same reason I don’t like the apps, you are probably demisexual like me.
Good for you for holding on for the right person. Love everything about you, then you will attract someone worthy. There is No shame in being a virgin, that seems to be political correctness gone nuts again.
Truth is, the healthier you get, the more you realize that any attempt to fix others, is an attempt to fix yourself.
I hope you can find the answers you seek.❤
I wouldn't have done all of that if I had known it wouldn't work out. I only want to be with one person for the rest of my life. I want to give my whole energy into one relationship. I don't want to enjoy casual sex. Thats not part of my moral system. I'm not people pleasing. I am looking for a forever committment and I don't want anything less.
Thank you for this video! This is so important. It’s not just about sex, intimacy is the real deal
Sex without love and commitment sooner or later causes pain. Most women can’t do it. We are not wired this way. Hook up culture hurts so many people and it shouldn’t be “normalized”.
I agree with you ❤❤
Agreed. This is why I wasn't keen on the approach of this guest. Why are women being pushed to be more like men? I see too much of it out there.
@@veronabriscoe595 Exactly!
Casual sex is only normalized for men. Women are still judged by the number of sex partners they have and by how soon they sleep with men. Nobody in this video is saying women should have casual sex, it simply says that if a woman wants to do it she shouldn't back down just because someone will think she's "easy". It's fine to not want casual sex. It's fine not to want sex at all. Interpreting what has been said here as "normalizing" casual sex and using words like "wired" to describe women's behavior while ignoring the existing double standards suggests that you're the one who has a problem with women who do not subscribe to your type of sexuality.
@@veronabriscoe595 Nobody is pushing women to be like men. She's clearly talking about women who want sex but avoid it out of fear of what the guy will say. You're the one trying to push women who disagree with you into a box they don't belong. It's ok not to hook up, but don't expect every woman who doesn't share your view of sexuality to have been brainwashed to be more like a man.
The best is when you're with a guy who goes on and on about how great you are, then you sleep with him and because he actually has no self-esteem he immediately devalues anyone who would sleep with his lowly self and ends things or makes you end them by being a passive-aggressive douchebag. So I think I'm helping bring their self-esteem up and am happy to do so, only to trigger the opposite... -__- I understand this dynamic now, but it was DEVASTATING for large parts of my life.
I like you, until I love you and you love me, then I have to run screaming into the night... *Good Lord *
or you are just not good in. bed and he knows how to manipulate women to end things without too much drama …
@@incassable See you've got the douchebag thing down, practicing on the internet for when your left hand finally gets drunk enough to let you touch it? :)
Pretty much what happened with me 😅 I'm still recovering from the heartbreaking disappointment he turned out to be 😢
It’s sad having been with an insecure abusive narcissistic guy where everything turned into about him and for him…I came into the relationship with this videos mindset and then was verbally and emotionally abused on how everything I did and said was invalid, was not good enough, I’m not attractive, or not the way he wanted it. When I got out of the relationship, videos like these make me think “are there guys who are actually going to consider me out there and not devalue me?” Unfortunately, that last dude abused me until I was so insecure about anything I did. But! I’ve been doing the work to get to a good place mentally and it’s all a matter of meeting those guys with integrity, respect, and morals.
After your experience you know what to look for. Narcissists are so obvious in their game and you can spot them in the first or second meeting. If you have boundaries they look foolish and exposed for the ridiculous people they are.
I love what Matthew says about the date. “I want to have a good time and I want you to have a good time too”. And inviting them to a place you love. Because you’re going to be happy and having a great time which could set fire to other person. Often that excitement is contagious
Such a great video. Ladies build your own self worth and allow people to rise to your standards
I personally think the world of sex would be more satisfying and more fulfilling if women (and men) were completely honest with what they want and how they want it, with themselves and with each other. Breaking free from the fear of not being wanted and embracing the power of being wanted as we are, showing our wants and needs, verbalising them and allowing the other person to show up for us, if they want/are able to, in the way we need/would like them to or even in ways we never thought about and the can bring to the table. Forcing oneself to do things your aren't yet comfortable with is not the way to start a healthy relationship and there's the danger of creating a very destructive pattern that will destroy the person and the relationship in the long term.
That’s right! You need to know what excites you. And then feeling you being really excited over them and gaining lots of pleasure most of the time gets them super excited too
I totally agree with Emily. I read Diana Richardson's work on Sex & Tantra. We have to remember Sex is both Psychological and Biological, but it starts in being in tune with your body with presence; reconciling the past (shame) and unchained from the future (worry). Sex is sacrificial in nature as we "lose" ourselves. This is also the transformative bit with the practice. Intention and Wisdom are definitely key.
As a man, I would like to speak on why I personally may get put off by a woman that have had many sexual partners.
“Women are the gatekeepers of sex.” An oversimplification of the dynamics but stay with me.
Considering that it is up to the women to choose who they sleep with (and let’s agree that the majority of women are looking for a substantial, long-lasting relationships) then women that have had a lot of sex with many different men could indicate poor decision making on her part. So in turn, she is ‘giving away’ her most valuable asset to men that perhaps didn’t deserve her in the first place, in turn lowering her value overall.
Another reason is about whether the woman loves herself. As briefly mentioned in this video, if she is using sex as a way to entice the man and not deriving any real pleasure from it herself, we men may be able to see that behaviour which could devalue her - why should I love you when you don’t love yourself.
In fact, I would say a woman that makes a man wait, knows her worth, owns it and ultimately embodies that self-love is one of the sexiest things in the world.
Just to add, I don’t agree that we should chastise women for wanting to have sex, they have every right to have great sex, whether that is casual or otherwise.
If I had to try “solve” this issue, I would advise women to wait just a little while longer before having sex with someone new and to please please listen to your intuition. There’s a reason why the phrase, “women’s intuition” exists and that’s because deep down you know if a guy is using you for sex or not. By letting him wait for sex, it will only help you differentiate between the good and bad men.
You are assuming many things wrong. And your text is full of contradiction. Woman aren't any gatekeepers of nothing. We can have sex just because we want and we like it. Same as man does. Only that you as man are judging woman for having sex just for it's own sake and we are not judging you for having sex with anyone. Now you are trying to find excuses for your judging. We are not always looking for a relationship. But we all know the reason why man judge woman for having sex with other men. Because you want to be the only one and the best. You can't handle the concurrence that may have been better than you. Well, we need to handle it too.
And the second very problematic thing you said is that a woman who has no "self-respect" doesn't earn to be lrespected by you or loved by any man (and you are assuming that sleeping with a man you don't want to be with in relationships means lacking self-respect. Why? Cause you don't respect women you sleep with? ) This is problematic in sooo many ways but i have no time to explain it to you right now. That's a topic for itself 1:07 1:07
@@Ossterhase looks like i didn't need to say anything well said
@@Ossterhase you must have missed the part where I mentioned about sex in relation to wanting to find a long term relationship. Of course women can have (and enjoy sex) and it expect or want nothing more. I was however talking about sex in the frame of when the women is seeking a relationship from the man.
@@AtiAnthony yeah, what about that? If you're seeking a relationship with a woman, you don't want to have sex with her for the first 6 months? You wait till you are engaged? I am sure you don't have any sex with women if you are seeking a relationship. Cause you don't want a relationship with a woman "without self -respect".
What if a woman doesn't care what you think of the number of her sex partners?
What if she doesn't share all her sexual experiences with you and doesn't even want to tell you the number of men she had sex with?
Im a 61 year old female and started being sexually active in the late 70s .In my experience.aa i always had a very healthy sex drive.Found that i struggled with that feeling of really wanting to let go but mostly felt if i did ,id be judged as slutty .I felt that most guys would think that .Whether because of societal conditioning ..If you approach sleeping with a guy as something u really want to do ,fine but as a woman i found that you need to protect your mental amd emotional health in this area .
I don't understand why guys ask "what's your favorite so and so and such and such" instead of offering the potential of a new experience? Why do something that someone else has discovered that she likes instead of new adventures? I struggle with this question/answer.
Women have been taught, especially in religious upbringing, that we are supposed to be innocent, and serve/service our man. It's so hard to unlearn this nonsense.
It's generational.
I believe it was not disease and crops that were the trigger to control women's behavior. I believe men wanted to control and that's the real reason behind how women were called unclean, stupid, need a man or we won't survive. Control and shaming of the "weaker" sex, has always been around, and religion was used to tell people that's the way it is supposed to be.
I want to add my 2 cents worth as I'm more than likely old enough to be a grandmother to some of you. The occasional hopping into bed will always happen yet in this day and age (YES, I just said that) we're still dealing with mounds of STD's. Yet, if you think you don't need oral sex during the first time sexual encounter and are willing to risk getting low-risk HPV then I say go right ahead. But, if you think oral sex should also take place then you can ' safely ' include HIGH RISK HPV with the potential of HSV-1. Happy love making!!
You can contract STDs through making out as well.
@@saberwolf156thank you for pointing this out. Other things that need to be put on the table - you can also get HSV through condom use. You can shed when you carry the virus but have never experienced symptoms, you may have HSV and not even know it.
So instead of STD shaming, lets get more myths out on the table.
And a large segment of the population is positive.
I think it's 1 out 5 people have HSV it's very common and HPV also.
@@hollyj2925 You're talking 20 percent. 1in5 is a big risk. I've been with my wife for 36 years so i don't worry about these things, but others should.
Thanks Matthew. Now I understand the roots of being unsatisfied after having sex in early stages if dating..
YOUR advice is not for everyone. Our souls tie when we are intimate
We do need to have a safe space.
She got the assumption wrong, its not that "Its bad for women to explore their sexuality and know what they want" in general.
It is however bad for those women who want to have family and kids to allow their expectations of what a guy meant for them can offer to be set by sought after guys who would never be with them long term, and who are just with them because they're easy. Because what these women don't realize is that they then impose their newly set standards on guys when looking for a long-term partner as well, not realizing that they're now offering a way different deal, the real work, that none of their lovers would've ever chosen them for, and they are left wondering why nobody offers them a ring.
And then come the words: "I'll rather die alone then" instead of "I'm so glad I waited", both said by the same women given the same prospect of guys but only one without having seen 100 playboys previously. Its spoiling your view of men to an extreme, and its very rough resetting your standards once you've done this. Therefore, by all means, explore your sexuality, but do it after your partner has proven he wants you for the long term, because this is the only right order if you want a family as a woman.
This is the issue. Nobody is telling you to not do what you want to do. You do you and I hope it brings you happiness. The issue become when women start shaming men that also have standards and reject women that have been promiscuous. If you're happy with your history, why the need to shame men that you want but don't want you? You live your life and let them live theirs. There is absolutely no need for shame when it's a basic incompatibility.
"Casual sex" is an oxymoron. Nothing about catching/spreading STDs or conceiving a child is anywhere near the vein of "casual". I don't pass judgement on those who prefer a more sexually active lifestyle but for the love of all that is good, wear protection! Never think that it can't happen to you!
It liberates you and makes life so much better- Casual Sex with two responsible adults… IS AND WILL ALWAYS BE A Blissful experience- NO SHAME in having casual sex-
@@Carolina0873 my point isn't about shame. It's about prevention. And in case no one told you, that burning sensation when you pee requires a doctor's visit.
Wonderful topic and discussion 👌🏾🙂
A much needed and relevant topic! Thank you!!
I loved this !!!
Both amazing
My advice to women is don’t sleep with a man for at least 8 dates. You can do other things with him and that’s fine but it’s the only way to vet out the bad men. There’s so many men that will be nice for 2 dates get what he wants and then be absolutely horrible. Make sure he is introduced to your dad, brother, uncle before you sleep with him. Any man you respect that isn’t trying to fûck you. Men will be able to tell if he’s fake or not. How does he respond when you reject sex from him? A good man won’t be bothered at all.
Great advice 💯💯
I disagree. I think 8 dates is an arbitrary time limit.
If the goal is to not feel "used", then I feel like a much better judge of whether or not to sleep with a man is: do you trust him fully? That means, does he show up when he says he will? Does he keep dates and not cancel them? Does he speak to you in a way where you believe every word that he says? Does he answer your questions with precision and not vagueness? If not, then that is where I would hold off having sex until all my doubts have been addressed.
Also, btw--why do you need to make sure a man is introduced to your brother, dad, uncle, etc. before you sleep with him? That comment feels like it has a lot of sexist undertones. You should be able to trust your own intuition about a man, rather than exporting that intuition to a whole lot of OTHER MEN.
What about for men?
A man that has options has no time for women playing games like that. And since more and more women do Foodie Dates, sucking guys for free meals we are warning all men to never settle for this crap. Blame the women who are treating men like wallets for it.
@@yesreneau - 8 is just a guideline. Women should always ask their dad, brother etc because women make terrible choices in men. Women choose men based on how he made them “feel” not if he’d a good man. It’s why this video exists and it’s why women all have a “toxic” ex.
I watch your videos and try to follow to your advice but you don't know how hard it is to only been turned on by the wrong guys and been forced to refrain from sex also because first you don't want to hurt yourself and second because you don't want to reward the bad behaviour. We are humans and have instincts and when you can't just casually meet them or meet them in the right circumstances (a relationship) is a real torture that eats your soul.
OMG thankyou.... I so needed to hear this right now.... 🙏❤️
I slept with my fiancée two weeks into dating. He proposed in September after 4 years of being together. We both feel like we’ve won the lottery with each other. I agree with her a lot, however, we live in the US. I can understand why this mindset is unwise/unsafe to have in countries where women are more severely judged for behaviors men are allowed to have. I think she’s referring to women who live in places where they won’t be ostracized for it.
This is a very important topic...if both understand each other the better they ma focus on kids and protecting helping the kids and teens to make progress etc.
prevent violence in world etc.
If you don't have standards and don't respect yourself, he will not do it either.
Nice lady, she explained it well.
I think sex is only enjoyable when the two minds and hearts are deeply connected. Otherwise it is just an animal act you won't feel really good afterwards
I respectfully do not agree with Dr Emily and her promotion of casual sex. I like what what she said though about how sex should not be performative. That was good.
Confidence & competence are KEY 🔑
It is irresponsible to have this discussion without mentioning condoms once this entire video.
Furthermore, oral sex is not safe sex.
@@saberwolf156 thank you. And agreed...the condom talk needs to be in every conversation. STI rates are on the rise in all "western" countries.
Matthew did not seem impressed by this interview 😂
Hear me roar 😂🙄
Im a virgin in my 30s why did RUclips recommended me this💀
Same😭
I've read some comments and i really don't know under which rock you are living. The most experienced in bed women get the best guys in character or/and financially. That is the dream of a man. Unfortunately...
I dont think so Doctor, however their is a saying I got yo learn now for men,"To Monks and Saints, The One that lived in you couldnt be you, the one that gonna live you shouldnt be you" what does this mean Doctor. It means we need to express ourself well out enough and church and around it is seen as a view as journey started in a ship can reach or not but with ships the loss can never be forgotten. Is it for the great movement of europeans in religion they marched or simply as governance and terms say colonisation?
Look, let's not play games. A woman's body is the number one thing that draws a man to her. She can be slutty if she wants and a guy that just wants to 'hit it and quit it' won't care. But a guy looking for a relationship WILL care. He doesn't want a woman that's been with lots of guys because, in our eyes, it cheapens her. Think of a Ferarri. Exotic and most people would love to have one but it's cost prohibitive. Very few can afford it so that scarcity helps to give it value. If everyone could have a Ferarri, it'd lose it's appeal. We don't expect her to be a virgin but if she's had sex with men like you would give out candy on Halloween, it's a hard pass for anything serious. You can try to argue the same is held true for men by a majority of women but we know it often isn't viewed the same way. Because women can have a new sexual partner _very_ easily compared to a man, a man that can do the same is seen as something special which makes women wonder what it is about him that other women will open themselves to him. It's part curiosity and part competition to try to convince him that she's better than the women who came before.
The only way a woman can have sex with a man early on without negative perception is if she sleep with very few people and holds a standard that's difficult to meet.
You compare women to objects, in this case cars.
Why do all men think that women want to attract them and only them? What if she doesn't tell you how many partners she had?
How old are you btw?
@@juditseregelyes5320 Relax. Cars were used because it's the easiest comparison any person will be able to understand. The faux outrage isn't needed, especially since plenty of women view men as little more than a means to get what they want. That's dehumanizing too, isn't it?
And you clearly missed the point. If something is rare and desired, it has greater value than something that is common and easily obtained.
Oftentimes she doesn't have to even give a number since her behavior will indicate whether or not she's been with many men. Quite similar to warning coloration. If someone has multicolored hair, for instance, it strongly hints at mental issues and alerts others around them they should be avoided.
Frankly, you don't have to like any of this because you don't get to decide how men view your lifestyle. By all means, live however you like(as long as it doesn't harm others) but understand that there are consequences for your choices and growing old alone is one possible consequence when you disregard what others value in a mate for long-term relationships.
@@csx6910 Multicolored hair means mental illness? Have you ever heard about new trends like ombre and balayage? Hairdressers often do that nowadays. Or they just put some highlights in someone's hair for a wedding to give the person better looks.
Also here in Hungary, which is a CEE Country you know,...in London or New York there can be even more hair coloring trends.
How old are you?
I'm 51 but my mother is more open-minded than you are.
I live with the same man since 2001. We have 2 children together. If I ever lose him I prefer staying alone than sharing my life with a man who demands a one-colur hair or a past without other relationships (ha-ha).
@@juditseregelyes5320 You have a bit of trouble with reading comprehension, don't you? " it strongly hints at mental issues"; HINTS AT, I did not say it automatically means every single person with multicolored hair has mental illness. You either attempted to make a Strawman argument or you just allowed your emotions to get the better of you. And really, you weren't even able to deduce that "multicolored", in this context, meant unnatural colors like pink, blue, etc. But maybe that's just because you're old, out of touch with society, and are sheltered. And I get the impression you and your mother are so open-minded, your brains have fallen out lol
It's cute that you believe you'd have the option of getting another man should anything happen to the one you have. You have displayed the very warning signs that men today look out for because many woman feel they should be a 'free spirit' and not be held accountable for their past. You would be alone. Because really, you are so women-centric that you _actually_ think my comments come down only to concern about unnatural hair color(that is a red flag easily spotted) or a woman with past relationships when literally no-one said men want a woman that has never been in one lol But, again, you'd have to go back, reread, and actually understand what was written which you've demonstrated you're incapable of doing.
Stay in Hungary where life is so simple, you don't have to worry about poor reasoning skills to survive cuz in more developed parts of the world, you wouldn't do well. ✌
How TF do men ‘Know’ how many partners a woman has had ? She could lie about the amount of partners. You guys are going with your perception of this woman. For all you know she slept with you quickly because she felt an ínstense attraction and chemistry. That doesn’t mean she feels this and acts on those emotions with every one. That’s the difference between us-all you guys see is walking holes and you all assume we view sex the way you do.
When I read all these misogynist comments of man, i am sooo happy to be single 😅
People who don't agree with you are not misogynist. They just don't agree. Men are genetically predisposed to value virgins because we are not sure of Paternity. Women are. Men who don't mind being Cuckolded did not reproduce at the same rate. Territoriality is a secondary psych effect of Testosterone. It was a survival trait for the last 75000 years. Men and Women are not the same and if you studied Evol Psy and Biology you would understand that.
Right, not all people who don't agree with me are misogynist but you definitely are
Being in your feminine means being sexy to a guy what brings down to sex
Make video please, and thank you Lee lee!
She must b joking. She thinks the narrative was to b performance. 😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣 😂
Off subject, I don’t see the ring anymore, Mathew broke up with his fiancé ?
If I like a woman, I mean *really* like a woman, then I don't want to sleep with her for a while. I want the anticipation and desire for both of us to build so much that when we finally do.....🎆🎇🎆. But here's the thing ladies, some women (not all) but some women, if you *don't* try to sleep with them almost immediately, then they see you as the nice guy and lose interest. I've figured out how to keep her sexually interested and not see me as just a friend even without having sex with her. Playful touching, being sexually suggestive, using enuendos. But some men may not have all do the tricks that I do. Maybe just keep that in mind that if you're one of these types of women, maybe he's intentionally not trying to sleep with you immediately for a good reason. Be patient. Sometimes, good things come to people who are patient.
Jay - - - it's called flirting :o)
It's the Patriarchy Malfunction...Wait on the Union Within the Heart and Soul of the Matters and Those Concerned Before the People and the Steeple including the Bedroom. Though There are No Guarantees and yet, If It's Not an 8 Out of 10 Win for Both Parties Concerned on Varying Levels Drop It. Don't Enable, Don't People Please etc... NYC
I understand we’re she is coming from, but certain cultures and religions don’t have that belief. It depends who you are dating.
Wow
No her standards show.
1, 2, 4, 64 dates… Does not matter - once you have sex the dynamic shift occurs and the question of whether it becomes a relationship is in the hands of the man… Men care about bodycount and paternity - it is evolutionary hardwired… We are all free to act as we please and sleep with whom we please but our biological imperative always prevails…
You say after having sex one time a woman has no impact on the future of the relationship?? :-O
@@juditseregelyes5320 She may impact the ‘future’ of it but they key point is women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of relationships… Such is the way of our species…
@@ddr4ig i already pitty every woman who decides to be in a relationship with you
@@Ossterhase My wife of ten years has a wonderful and carefree life with me… She has had a total of two sexual partners including me… I am sorry you are triggered by the reality of human nature… Also, I decided I would be in the relationship and eventual marriage with my wife - not her…
@@ddr4ig well now it's getting really creepy
This interview is the ULTIMATE opposite of Lewis Howes interview and his perspective about having sex with a guy early = giving him a 1 million dollars. I love her perspective its alot more empowering to women and men...and Matt...you should pick a side :) you keep flip floping btw these two ideologies..
If a beautiful woman was very sexual ah.. not a turn off.. ah no.. definitely not a turn off
God.. realisation
wow❤
I would prefer you interviewing women like your fiance (who is very feminine and soft person) than this woman (more like a warrior manish person tearing your head off when you don't smile nicely) when you are asking about experiece on relationships. ;) They will have different opinions on men. Guaranteed.
I just unsubscribed.
Generally the women who support being promiscuous like this young lady who has already established that she has a bodycount under her belt and she has to find a way to justify why she has been passed around so many times. I've seen what happens when you are not valuing yourself and it's not a pretty picture. If you're looking for marriage, there are exceptions, but the rule has been that you will not be considered marriage material. I've already read a couple of comments, only two, up to this point, so that should tell you how much of an exception it is to be promoting promiscuity.
The best prediction of Future behavior is Past behavior
Yep , she is not in long term relationship. I listen to women in long term relationship that have been like 40 years in marriage etc. they say the opposite and it’s because it’s important to know the person first.
@@rainbow9987 Yes I agree , but I believe this is more a video ment for people who have a casual relationship not looking for a longterm relationship , I just started to see some one and he wanted to have sex the first day already and I told him no I want to know you first lets know each other first and I am happy I did so he is still interested in me after me telling him this 😊😊
First i don't like the looks that she's giving. Very promiscuous. I don't like the fact that she's not looking directly at Matthew but rather on the cameras. Lastly you talk just for sex. Women who just want sex are not your audience. They will do it and have no care in the word. And because they are cold men will fall for them. Your audience is women who really want this guy, who are really turned on by him because they also have feelings for him. Yes, you forgot about FEELINGS that's what makes us having second thoughts about surrendering physically. Because on one hand we really want this but we are risking our feelings because we don't just want that...
Wow that a lot of generous better ASK FOR MOBEY AND AT LEAST HAVE SOME WORTH
Ok I have outgrown this channel, bye.
My thoughts exactly!
She talks to fast and u only answer to God.
Anything before a ring is too soon.
R u 60+? Because it will always be subjective.
I'm not buying a car without driving a car. If sex is not important to you I guess this if fine. Men are being warned about Marriage is just Financial Abuse currently, so good luck on this advice.
Happily men are realizing Marriage is state sponsored Financial Abuse
Jesus said to wait until you are married. If you don't love someone enough to get married, don't merge your subtle energy bodies.
Don't enter into a sexual relationship with someone who you don't like having sex with. Don't expect a man to value as a sexual partner if you want to exchange resources for sex. If you are not paying for dates, you are taking money for NOT having sex, which is a bad deal for a man.
@@allenmciver1888 darling, what you are describing is prostitution.
Jesus Wasn't Married. Look it up! This is the classic case of religous people assigning their personal belief to their religon. Christianity is made up of people who had the bible read to them, and Atheism is full of people who have read the bible.
Wow Matthew such bad bad bad Advice
Women can't this dumb in 2023!! WOW 😮😮
2122e
No, you dont need to lay it all out there what you like, which spots make you come etc. Its a turn off for many, be natural, let it all happen naturally!!!
Didn't love this guest.
I think this all sounds good in theory, but in practicality, women are already incredibly selfish and have all the power in the beginning. Implying that they don’t is just false. Women already use men all the time for dinner, for rent, for their car note, etc. The argument that they can somehow retake the reigns is just ridiculous since they’ve never lost it. In fact, it’s even applauded when women are able to finesse men.
Sounds like you've been meeting the wrong type of women
@@coolbreeze5683 yeah maybe. But honestly, I think this is most women today.
@@b2themfeto No. That's like me saying "all men want sex now and no commitment." It may be true for a small cohort of men, but nothing can be applied to ALL men.
There are plenty of happy marriages out there, and happy relationships. Not all women are "using men" for stuff. Especially when a majority of women are now out-earning men, they don't need men for money anymore. A lot of men say they feel used for stuff because they don't have any other way to justify why they can't find a good woman. Maybe look inward and realize that the problem might be your attitude toward women
@@b2themfeto There's a different between "most" and "best". I'd try to separate yourself from "most" women and start to put yourself in environments where you're meeting the "best" women for you (i.e. the ones who aren't incredibly selfish, etc.).
I'm glad men are waking up to the fact that women are using men for money all the time. Prostitution is more honest.