My bully boss should pay for my therapist, my marriage therapist, my yoga, my loss of sleep, my loss of hair, and loss of appetite. She is the biggest bully I will ever know and it is really a shame people like that are allowed to keep jobs. Anyone can be a manager, it takes a bright mind and kind soul to be a leader.
It’s worth it to fight them. Something to do and besides do you work for this company or Colin Robinson here. They break laws acting like the little narcissists they are. Work em up and get them mad when ever you can. Sooner or later they stop or you get fired or better yet they do. Either way bringing it to it’s ultimate end is better than dragging it out. I see too many back down. Go higher up and see if the execs like how the weirdo treats people. It’s called defending yourself from a narcissistic abusive boss. You can win. Besides who are you really mad at your boss or your family?
I think you work where I work. I haven’t had a lot of jobs but the ones I’ve had, my manager has always been cool. I can’t at all understand why people at the job LIKE IT THERE. They all say they like it. I spoke up about the abuse and asked for it to stop. They won’t let it stop.
Had a manager that gave random write ups. Manager was removed from the building by literally all the employees when they found out. The lady is still unemployeed cause we like to help spread the word around.
That is not true. Bullies are often very powerful in the workplace and at home and have ideal lives with lots of money. However, bullies are ingrates and hateful of those they see as inferior to themselves. Bullies love power and control. Seeing people suffer or get upset gives them power. Very sick and sad. Laws have to be enacted to rein in bullies.
I wish I could say I agreed with you. In my experience they have used their personality to get everything they could possible want in life successfully. Its the reason you find them in positions of power.
Do not waste time . No use. Majority of bully boss will find way to fire you sooner or later if you try to stand up for yourself. Move on. Life is too short to deal with those evil Bastard
@@justinshaw7826 HR did that with my last boss. He moved me from one position to another to show favoritism to a female co worker who wanted me to take on part of her job so she could come in 3 hours later to save money on child care however I called BS and told the boss it sounded to me like she wanted her hours in line with another co worker who was hanging out with her on the job when he was not supposed to be in an area unless assigned there. Well I got moved and then later written up for something they got me for that no one cared about until the boss needed something to nail me with. Well I play the long game.... I predicted he was going to get fired with in 6 to 12 months and 6 months later he was for dating one of the girls on our team. Well that sealed it for me so far as I was concerned he was showing favoritism to her to size her up for a date and I filed a Grievance wanting the write up made null and void and I expect they will do that. I find out tomorrow. They can retaliate against me if they want but I am done putting up with any BS and will get a lawyer is anyone pulls that BS.
yeah they accuse people of insubordination as a means of justifying their bullshit behavior i would love to see a certain bully boss outside of work believe me it'd be the last time he ever pulled shit like that
@@georgemunro4634 they can only be fierce during work... pull up on them outside, they piss their pants and can't fight for what they are. how "gentleman" they are :)
i was bullied by my boss. i tried standing up the them, but it all backfired....so i eventually quit. i was tired of putting up with all that crap. i was tired of crying everyday from the stress they put me through. i am very happy now. i don't care about the crappy paycheck . I have peace of mind. thats all that mattters.
I don't want to have to handle 'bully bosses' i want bully bosses to learn to handle themselves like human beings and leave the bully at home and bring the professional at work
It's a no win situation. I stood up to the owner, told him he was screwing with the wrong person, and invited him to step outside the building to discuss the situation. He was a gutless little twit with a severe Napoleonic complex but at the end of the day, it was his company. The only choice is to remove yourself from the situation.
Thanks for doing this series. I've been bullied so much and so severely through my career that I finally gave up completely and went on disability for major depression. Your work really matters.
3. Evidence was disregarded, witness's were threatened with termination. 4. Handbook means nothing, as HR is in the middle of it as well, even having the company owner making rules and behind their back the problems continue. I've seen it to where people quit and suddenly the family member suddenly walks into a job.
your message is the story of my life 13 yrs have been bully HR is not doing anything and on the bully side all witnesses were threatened Handbook means nothing rules and law is the bully side i want to quit but no backup plan and I'm on a single income
One such boss it took me ages to get him, (don't think bad of me but he was evil to many) his own ways give him heart problems so one night I stepped out of the dark in front of him it shit him up but it did not work but made him frightened ,,next time he was working on his car in company time but the phone rang he went to answer it and left his car keys,,so I unlocked his petrol (gas) cap and put 3 pints of water in his tank, he had just filled up ,, he broke down at 6 am on his way home he had to drain his tank walk miles and get petrol,, When he retired I sent a letter to his wife and to his son and daughter explaining in great detail what a worthless piece of shit he was, I don't feel bad about it ,because of the stress and misery he caused others,, nearly forgot he had a bad habit of running over tacks with his car tyres,,
Thank you, this is helpful. I've recently had a coworker promoted over our team who is become extremely bullying and hostile towards me. I have already filed a complaint with human resources and we've been through mediation which I thought was a waste of time. I like the steps here because they're clear And directive. Thank you again.
Thank you; but it doesn't always work this way; eg. at universities or research institutions where things run on such a regular basis and abuse and bullying takes place in a very subtle manner ... Often it is even difficult to track the real bully behind, who is instrumentalising everything and every one to do the "dirty" job ... Susprisingly in such circles, a bully can always find someone who does the "dirty" job ... Thanks for reading ...
Here is my advice: Life is too short trying to fix a bully who is quite frankly, mentally deranged. There is no reason why you have to spend your energy in doing so. Have self respect and save your sanity by leaving or better, put all that energy in working overtime in finding another job. Let karma do her job: jerks will reap what they sow eventually but until then you have moved on to greener pastures.
I blew that whistle and all the work place knew it was me. Supervisor and manager ended up getting fired, serves them right the bullying bastards. Only problem was the whole work force then turned on me, and I had to leave as I ended up being despised as a result . (I'm the bad guy now apparently?) 😂 If any of you are considering doing what he is saying, be sure to keep it to yourselves and don't tell even your closest work colleagues. When it comes to money and job security, people will throw you under that bus without giving you a second thought...remember that 😳
My father in law was a bully boss to. The people of his department filed an complain to the commission about his degrading behavior towards woman. And nobody asked him anything anymore on the workfloor. Everybody acted like he wasn't there. He got depressed and for almost one year at home, and when he came back, the whole company evolved without his presence. Eventually they forced him by ignoring him to quit his job level into an assistant job. I witnessed the torment and the effect on him during that proces, and I enjoyed every minute of it. He lost his status completely.
Thank you for posting this. I'm being completely railroaded by my bully boss, and am trying to prepare an "evidence-based" defense for my Management Inquiry tomorrow. Too late on the anonymous angle however.
Mallory McGuire i happen to work in the railroad industry and I have a supervisor who has with out a doubt the worst attitude. He acts and portray the role of a tough man. I don’t know him personally and do not care or bother to know him on a personal level. I don’t usually see him much but when I do it feels like I stepped into hell. I pray that god gives me the patience and help me keep calm and not open my mouth and say the wrong thing. I don’t know how to defend myself with words and I just keep my mouth shut. Cause in my mind this disgusting disrespectful supervisor is a worth nothing to me. I respect the uniform and his title but on a personal level I don’t care for this person and would never look twice in his direction. If it is job related he has my attention other than that he is a joke of a supervisor and I mentally laugh at him because he is classless and unprofessional. Life must hurt when everyone around him thinks of him the same. You see he is his own poison. His own venomous tongue and attitude discredits himself as a person of value. I stay on the other side and away.
I worked at a place that was dominated by one senior technician. He kissed up and kicked down. He was charming and charismatic and at first when people warned me about him I thought that they were jealous that he and I were friends. He turned out to be a real lunatic and I wouldn't be surprised if he turned out to be a psychopathic killer. Upper management knows about these people. There are many ways to tell when a department has a bully. The problem is that upper management got to where they are by being the bully.
gathering information is difficult sometimes, my boss did the bullying when no one is there or in the presence of people who he knows would not tell on him...
Jumma Yakubu same my supervisor only acts rude to me when salary managers aren’t in the building. Hence why I am leaving because they will know it’s because of him.
I was just let go from my job in the guise of a budget cut but the bully boss' entourage still survived. From the past 8 months, scope was not clear on work and a threat of merger/acuquisition was used an excuse to restrict funding for simple materials (laminated posters, markers) to kaizen workshops. Interestingly enough, after denying me simple reusable material (~$300) management spent $500 on booze and happy hour dinners which is crazy. What's the point of happy hour when a boss can not support his/her staff ? So 3 months go by, and out of the blue accusation come at my face of not meeting performance goals . All this time I met goals everyone was happy and did all the leg work for major deliverables and was let go for exceeding budget even after getting approval from my boss. Bosses who just hire and not support their staff is like feeding your staff to the wolves. As a boss, f you don't like someone don't hire them if you feel threatened by a candidate's intelligence and fabricate stories to fire your hardest working staff later.
Thank you so very much for your video. I intend to check out your blogsite for further help. I work in an industry prone to bullies and am now entering my second bully. I really appreciate your advice and will take much of it on board, although the country I live in is a bit different to the USA. From my experience with the first bully, I have some further advice that you didn't mention here. 1. NEVER fall victim to the bully trying to isolate you. They do what they do behind closed doors (mostly) and brainwash you into feeling you are the problem, not them. Expose them, first to trusted colleagues, then, when you feel more confident, just talk about their bullying in conversation. I'm not talking about bad-mouthing them, just repeating to people what went on behind the closed doors. You'll be surprised how much support you get and it stops you falling victim to going into isolation. 2. DO keep a record - bullies rely on drip-feeding small things that wouldn't sound so bad when described, but it is the repetition that is the bullying, not each isolated incident. Build up a case so strong that re-reading it empowers you. 3. Take advantage of the company's employee assistance programme, if you have one. Some companies will use the fact that you didn't take what was offered to you as their defence. Even if you have no expectations, use it. 4. When you do Alan's advice and go public, include in your letter an important question to HR "Please give me any information about previous complaints about (bully) of a similar nature to mine, or any other information that may relate to this issue" (the last bit is important). If the company would prefer to see you go, rather than expose their previous inactions in relation to previous complaints. This question will make the bully their biggest problem, not you. 5. This sounds a bit screwy, but you've got nothing to lose. In your mind, and later when you open up to conversation, refer to them as "My Bully". You won't believe how empowering it is. I'm currently annoyed I'm facing all this again, but that's life. Some days, you eat the bear and some days the bear eats you! 6. ALWAYS REMEMBER at the root of bullying is some form of jealousy. There is something (or several things) about you that the bully is insanely jealous of. Maybe you're a friendly person, or good at your job or enjoy the kind of respect that they can only pretend they have. In this macabre way, Bullying is a compliment. Tell yourself that every day. 7. Read Rudyard Kipling's poem "IF" - it got me through my first bully and he left the company. I'd really like Alan's comments to these suggestions and apologies if what worked for me may not work for everyone. Good Luck
That's terrible; no boss should be yelling and making people feel so uncomfortable. A good boss would invite and encourage various viewpoints, and even opposing views, to make the best decision with the best information put forward by the employees. Anyways, realize that the boss is insecure and their behavior is childish. If it happens again, here's my advice: 1) Breathe slowly and deeply 2) "Ground" into your feet so that you feel rooted and carry on with your presentation 3) Write key ideas down. Write big and clearly, so if you do have a panicked moment, you can just glance at your notes from a distance. 4) Start building up your resume, make work contacts whom you trust and respect and move your talents and skills to another workplace! You definitely deserve better.
I have known people in work situations that, if they so much as meekly and politely tried to reveal what they were going through, were cited for insubordination. Best wishes to the bully them back folks but that rarely works. David cannot always slay Goliath. Just try to keep calm at all times. I am so sorry for people who go through this. Going to work should be cause for excitement and happy anticipation NOT dread, handwringing, and actual nausea! Remember, if the narcissistic boss tries to portray you as a mental case, you must even more be a picture of mental and emotional stability. These irrational, raging, out of control monsters must be allowed eventually to target an employee who WILL make a legal issue of their abuse. I have seen THIS happen with success.One bullied woman said she filed a suit and won. She said they all know now that she is not one to mess with! She works in peace! May God comfort all who go through this. A better day is coming! Let RUclips videos educate you, let the comments of others enlighten and strengthen you! Peace,
Thats really helpful sir. I played your video loudly just now to let the neighbour heard it coz shes been bullied for many times by her boss. We work as house helper in Singapore and a lot of helper here were maltreated badly inside the house so silently
Excellent advice. Until this becomes criminalized these games companies play will continue. Most hr depts are just there to cover up like and protect the clowns at the top
There won't be a low, its simple, organisations are the ones that make the laws and bend them or break them .. you see there is technology to trace cyber bullying today, there is technology to record conversations, there is technology ( cameras) that companies or organisations can set in their office space to ensure that harassment doen't take place, its that simple. People are made to believe that technology or cameras at a work place is bad for you, its not if you do your job and you keep to the rules, in fact it would seve you, because you will be able to bring some proof at least and you know the saying, every lettle helps. But why do organisations don't think about it? why do they not implement it? Because they care about your privacy at work? Doesn't that sound stupid? we are told to keep written journals? Is this a joke? Since when does the person that is put to do the most work in the office have time to take minute by minute notes on every fucking situation? Sould you write down events after you get home and cry yourself to sleep every night? why? To show it then to the HR, cry your eyes out again and then be told you either have a mental problem and its all in your head or you should be greatfull you have a job cause after all life is tough. If organisations would actually give a crap about their employees there would be laws and solutions and real people managers that actually give a crap and put you first, instead of their selfish needs. Sorry but if you don't drink yourself to bed, take drugs or fuck the entire office you are boring.
EXCELLENT words of wisdom! Thank you so much, we needed this advice at work. I will share this information at work so that all of us can send a letter! God bless you.
These are very good suggestions I wish I had followed in past horrible situations. I recommend beginning early on because one's brain can get addled by fear and stress as things progress.
exactly what I'm dealing with, a lazy, bully boss and micromanager. I love my job, but I'm to the point of considering putting my two weeks notice in, I just can't stand working with her anymore. I'm walking on eggshells the entire shift when I have to work with her. I don't feel like a grown woman at work doing my job, I feel like a child being punished and I hate that. she's so unbelievably ridiculous, I'll give you some examples, she spilled gravy while cooking and told me to come on the cooks line and wipe it up off the floor by hand and wipe it off counter space so "it wouldn't get on her new shirt". I'm not even supposed to be on the cooks line. I make $5.03 an hr and sometimes I have to cook my customers food because she's outside smoking while on Facebook. she told me one night to do dishes left from five girls from 2nd shift. there were 6 bins that were OVERFLOWING we didn't have a dishwasher, at this point I had been doing EVERYTHING plus dishes and I was fed up, told her no. its not fair, she refused to let me use the bathroom or have a 5 minute smoke break for SIX HOURS STRAIGHT. I was literally about to pee myself all while she spent that 6 hours outside on her phone on Facebook and Snapchat. she's manager, she's supposed to do freezer pull then put everything away- she doesn't...she makes me do it BUT she prints the day dots out with her name on them and puts them on everything that was pulled from the freezer. her drunk friends come in. make a mess like pigs, don't tip me and she doesn't charge them. a customer will ask me for butter on the side, shell ask me why I'm putting butter on the side. a customer will request extra syrup for a to go order and shell take the extra out of the bag and ask why I'm giving extra syrup. along with many many other things she does, says and makes me do that SHE'S supposed to do. when the cook gets off, and she has to step up and cook she gets pissy with me like its my fault then she REALLY starts knitpicking at me and it really puts me on edge and I have to explain EVERY move I make and EVERYTHING I do. she does NOT like to work, she's 22 years old. she likes to smoke, drink, have sex, be on Facebook snapchat, sleeeeep and eat. work, hell no. don't get me wrong I don't mind team work, I have no problems stepping up and helping. but there's a difference between helping out and taken advantage. man I make $5.03 an hour and I don't just wait tables anymore, I cook and do dishes along with wait tables for $5.03an hour, I'm surprised she doesn't make me take the trash out too. I don't know what to do. I love my job, I'm good at it. I don't have these issues with my other manager. I don't wanna walk away, I've acquired so many regulars butt I'm ready to give up :( what do I do???
Shelly it sounds like you do make tips because you are a waitress as well just go in there love on your customers make lots of tips have a smile on your face to the bully and it's very difficult not to let them get under your skin but your customers are very wise they know you are being bullied and they're going to give you a good tips stay let her quit
I had a bully boss. Two of my co-workers also realized the "Big A" (as we referred to him) was a bully and we discussed possible ways to deal with the Big A. Regarding step 2 - do not engage with the bully boss, one of my co-workers came up with "Miranda" - you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you by the Big A. A poker face also came in handy. Bullies get their jollies from getting a reaction from you.
I quit my job today. I can't tell what was wrong with my boss, he told his superiors that I was skilled, trustworthy, and punctual. Then in time to time out of nowhere the boss threw shit on me and the working group like if it was always our shift that left the place unclean. Tuesday, I straghten up our storage hall with a group of new blokes. I was the only one who knew how to do it. Tough work. What did I get from my bully boss? A shitstorm to my neck that I didn't do anything at all in storage room. I shouted back at him, that I had quit the shitty job already. Well, the job was alright, artistic woodworks, painting, and stuff like that. It was the bully boss that sucked.
I think the bully boss is a person that had big shoes to fill the former person in charge...with this add a carapace forged over to end everydays shift with a production oriented over what a fellow employee feel...one more is the language barrier too
Dear Alan, Thank you for your precious time and information. It is a bit too late for me to complain to the bully boss discreetly, but the battle between HR, boss & me goes on (last 12 months now). In the beginning, I was making a snaped and emotional engagement, BUT now I am more calm and systematic with my claim. Digging through the employment law and using Toulmin Model with my argument :)
Thank you for keeping this video up. It's been very helpful I'm dealing with stuff at work along with other coworkers that don't know what to do. Much appreciated God bless you!!
For 8 years I've been bullied and Cyber Stalked and she has downloaded my personal data and passwords from my phone which I have changed so many times. All of my accounts have been compermised and I heard her talking to others in the office so I know she has hacked me when I'm home. She is afraid I will get an Attorney, which I want one. I want her punished not the agency.
Remember also, that sometimes narcissitic bosses leave on their own accord, once they have had enough/bored with working for one company and 'want another challenge'. My boss moved to Tenby in Wales, I was so pleased he was going to leave, I couldn't believe it. When I check out the hotel he went to, I saw reviews of his hotel and some customers spotted staff bullying staff in front of them.. bet that was him. He has one side to his family and another side to his colleagues and friends. I don't know why he treated us like dirt. Even our first staff meeting with him wasn't very pleasant. One Eastern European woman stood up to him.. and she left.. so it is hard to stand up to him. I used to feel nervous most days going to work.... and it was worse after I was on holiday and staff would be gossiping about me.
One of my bully bosses mysteriously left the workplace one day. Turns out he stole £1000 of the hotel's money in the UK. Some narc bosses are hypocrites.
Build your reputation at work as someone who is reliable, has integrity, works hard and gets along with others. It won't take long before you get to know a few folks in a position of power. Figure out who among them who you trust the most to protect your privacy and go to them about the bully boss. That's what I did and the bully boss was removed from their position and given a new position with nobody underneath them. That bully boss then left a few months later (likely because they didn't have anyone to pick on, thus making them feel impotent). I'm fortunate in that the company I work for is pretty good about not tolerating improper behavior. Before doing this, think long and hard about who you approach and the potential for blowback. Sometimes your best bet is to leave the company or wait it out (bosses tend to rotate out of positions quite frequently, with bully bosses even more so).
OK I have a question about the video my boss said I had to I have no choice but I have to work every day at work no time off and I Hurd that was illegal
We have a boss who is like this. She's paranoid. You can't have a personal private conversation. It's like she's lurking around the corner listening to everything you say in case it's about her. It's disgusting. We are micromanaged all the time and it's terrible. Our department has the fastest revolving door I've ever seen in all the years I have dealt with this. We're sick of it and finally the top bosses are aware. I'm still the senior employee in my department, and I already wrote a letter to the Administrators.
I was working a while back at a place I was quite happy at, but for a bullying colleague. Things gradually escalated to the point where he physically threatened me in front of all my colleagues just because I spoke up for myself after he had thrown my bike on the ground! Unfortunately, the boss wasn't really interested in my side of the story which basically handed this guy carte blanche to treat me as a second class citizen. If this guy was bad enough before, he would have been insufferable afterwards, so I felt I had little choice but to resign.
You are right, I stayed and was constatly their joke, they turned every new team member against me, even people I considered friends started acting with me as if I was somehow a piece of crap. If I would have been wiser, I would have realised from day one that organisation was an infestation of bullies.
Lynda Mackrous nice. I have a meeting early tomorrow morning with my boss he called me into his office after we had a dispute over the phones. Wish me luck
For some reason my boss has been glaring at me for no reason. Back then I use to be mad all the time and was very mean, now I have changed. I just go to my job to work and go home. Idk why he glares at me for no reason. I have caught him 2-3 times glaring at me already. Why is that?
Thank you. My coworkers tell.jokes about people that dont exist or just shoot the shit about any and every sensitive topic they think applies to me. They make jokes about everything you can think of. Im not the most advanced guy in any area, and I can tell.when theyre honestly talking and joking and when theyre trying to have a dig at me. They do it when they think Im.listening or around close enough to hear, the store is very quiet on third shift. Then they started swapping items onto my shelves after we all punch in, giving me more to deal with while frustrating me. The older boss used to scream in my face A coworker screamed at me so bad he spit on me. I got cornered into offices weeks after and intimidated and when I finally stood up for myself I was too angry at being mistreated and it having been gone swept under the rug. Ive been lied to. I get the bad rap. For being bullied on third shift by a bunch og idiots who were so mad they got stuck there for the rest of THEIR lives that they had to take it out on me and make MY life a living hell because I never knew what the hell I was doing. Now Im stuck in this scenario where I need this job, but management wont ever believe anything I have to say because I "fly off the handle" at the drop of a hat when really Ive been pushed around and now Im literally being harassed and am having some slight trouble proving it without being retaliated against. Management wont believe me. Just gotta get evidence of them switching items on my shelves and maybe theyll listen about them personally attacking me over the years. Telling jokes about the stuff I used to openly say when things were neutral. Taking my personal info as ammo. Then everything about me is a joke after that. I dont blow up out of nowhere. I ignore the little shit until it becomes more and they do ten other things and more and more and then Im.ANGRY and then Im.taking it home ans bringing it back to work and I DONT DESERVE THIS THEY DONT DESERVE TO DO THIS T9 ME
My boss daily harass me . He used to find fault in my work . Send me in hard duty give more work which i can't able to complete on time . With the help of higher authorities continuously send me warning letters . Hard core facts is i can't quit job coz its govt job sir . What to do this senior sir .
I had a bully boss, one day I asked for proper documentation to do a machining procedure and he got pissy at me, I walked away and half way back to my work area he jumped in front of me and chest bumped me, this was aggressive, themvhebrold me to go home, I was like ??? Went to HR they said go home, next day HR calls and said I am laid off and to get my tool asap.
I started being bullied from the start. I’ve been in service 1 year. The company is constantly trying to trick me, setting me up for failure since returning from FMLA. It’s a fortune 100 company so I can’t believe they’re doing this. “Send this to the rep,” … “you’re being written up for sending this to the rep.” ?!? They won’t let me use my sick days to see my dr (put me on probation = no day off = can’t see dr.) I don’t understand. I may be just a girl but I just don’t understand. When I tried to document the abuse by sending myself emails from mgmt, I was written up by compliance.
Had one so bad , after a few years I started imagining and dreaming about murdering him , I guess he could sense it because he became scared of me for a while before I quit , it was so bad I actually would stare at his head and imagine my self splitting it open with a hatchet. Thankfully I always kept the repercussions in mind . He about drove me too it .
I have been yelled at by a boss. I know it happens a lot a bosses are under stress to get the job done, however, it is wrong. No one learns when you yell at them.
The NHS in Britain is absolutely riddled with bullying bosses. Most are nurses promoted above and beyond their ability with little or no professional management training. This is a helpful video and there are some useful tips I will try. However, unfortunately with unions having less and less power in UK, investigations are undertaken internally by managers and they all stick together and support each other. Britain was built by the working classes, but they no longer have any power at all. It might as well be 1900.
I fully agree NHS has so many of these persons they are useless bums but making the life miserable for the good workers NHS should have on site videos records to record the behavior of these people and punish them as is the slogan zero tolerance for violence against the NHS workers same should be zero tolerance for bullying in NHS.
TRUE ALL THE WAY, ONCE YOU FORGE A COMPLAINT YOUR AS GOOD AS GONE, BOSSES HATE YOU, COLLEAGUES WONT STAND WITH YOU EITHER, IF THEY HAVE IT IN FOR YOU BYE BYE
My boss has gotten customers involved in harassing me... he's been trying to get me to look like I'm nuts and out of my mind. I confront.him about it but hes so slick that I don't ever get anywhere with it time and time again. It's not your typical bully boss and I have no way of ever getting it to stop. I have a child with special needs and i cant find a job where I can both earn as much as I do along with the schedule I have that allows me to be able to be there for my daughter since she can't be watched by just anyone. She needs special care and I can't afford to have another job and pay for expert childcare. I'm screwed.
All I want is to go to work and do my job without having this impact every aspect of my life and my overall well being. I'm not asking for that much, just let me do my job without having to carry around all of this drama.
Retaliation is always the fear of many employees and usually those people who are bullied are the new ones which are afraid to speak up because theyre under in observation period meaning they are not yet on permanent status and can easily be fired in a snap of a finger.
Happening to me, now. And now, they are involving another staff member. It is horrific. I am a contractor and make my own schedule. They are demanding more and more volunteer hours and haranguing me, and now pitting me against other staff, if I don’t or cannot because I have plans. Time to go. But I do plan to file a formal complaint--there is no recourse because as a small non profit with less than 50 employees, they do not have to abide by any laws. For example, I have a disability and they can still give me grief because of it because of less than 50 employees. Horrific.
After doing your homework first when looking for a job after finding the least bullying boss around how do you learn to prepare yourself for the presenting themselves most of the time as a gentleman or lady bullying style done in a treats to all of Pavlov\s dogs there style after all the employees there have signed an agreement to never reveal their managment practiices already? No matter how much research ahead of time a person looking for work does later when working there in that kind of bullying enviironment most of the time in retail which pits one employee against another is so hard to prove.
I feel very depressed because the new boss brought in his own friend to take over my job. Refusing to leave my job means I have to face persecution daily
I’m in this position. My boss has his best friends work with them and he fixes there time, let them off when they want, come and go as they plz and put there work on me. He talks to me like a dog and I’m scared to lose my job. I need some advice
You need to work towards being less job dependant. Yes job dependency is an actual issue these days. I first heard the term from a friend of mine that is a financial advisor. Employers are not very high on employees that are not job dependant and that's a good thing. I sure you have heard " hire people that are in need of a job, people who are hungry" I'm sure you have worked around people that are not job dependant and could literally just quit at the drop of a dime. You'll notice they just go in and do their job and head out when their time is done, they brush off anything the boss says and move on. Take control of your expenses and gain financial freedom and always learn new things at work, home, recreation, and develop yourself. Keep a look out for that open door or opportunity that pops up every now and then. It's important to know when your times is up and it is time to move on and have the financial stability to transition.
I am fairly certain the current manager of my team has OCPD. Number one, he hovers and surprises you with contrarian feedback when you are in deep focus, which completely ruins the entire day or two after. Number two, he will monologue for 90 minutes straight in a 45 minute meeting-if you take notes it ends up only being buzz words in sentence form. If you ask a question, he looks like you insulted his mother. Lists and Lists of every changing whatever. Constantly moving stuff around where you can't find it, and if you try to do anything to keep it organized he gets upset for disturbing his very possessive approach. Constant need to keep tabs on every click of a button on a project. Refuses to delegate anything really. It's all sitting and watching him fumble his way through your own job duties, and you can't do anything or he will dive in front of you to "correct" you. (seriously. I asked "Who is the client?" once. Looked like he wanted to kill me and responded "I AM!") I gave up with him. I tried to communicate with him like a human. I talked to his boss and asked to report to a different manager multiple times. I talked to an HR Leadership Coach for a year. I applied for other jobs. The damned pandemic happened. It just gave up on him. I say "Good morning", "Ok", and "Good to see you" pretty much every day. I play deaf, dumb, and distant as boringly as possible. And I do the best work I can in secret. After several years, and his own boss getting fired and us getting moved to a more senior director, people are starting to notice. I try to stay cool, while he overcomplicates everyone's lives. The new team notices my adaptability and awareness of the new role, and the notice him clinging to the past and micromanaging. Even the CEO called him out for micromanaging me in front of him by saying "Man, [OCPD manager]! I thought [OP] was directing this one! LOL!" Some people can dish it out, but they can't take it. They can't meet anyone half-way. They think they are entitled to more control over others than reality permits.
I had great anxiety and depression by my cheated and bullied bosses in the past because of that time I didn't understand and speak an English language.
Why did they hire you in the first place if they believed you were no good for them ? Its not you hun .. you know it in your heart. I hope you will find a better place and kinder people. You see I once interviewed as a coffee shop assistant, the person that wanted to hire me gave me a trial, he then believed after the first day that I wasn't confident enough and not what he was looking for, he paid me for the day and told me nicely I am not what he needs and he can not afford to spend too much time teaching me everything till I got more confident. He did offer to give me some part time job, which I refused because I was a bit embarrassed and 19 years old, I never hated that person for telling me the truth, I understood his business needs, I understood I could not serve at the time and entire football stadium with beer and food cause I just got to London, everything was new to me. But I also apreciated that he paid me, offered me lunch, offered me a chance to improve and basically being a decent human being. What your previous employer did has no excuse, those people are simple pigs and you are better than them because you tried to work, no matter how hard it was for you. So one day I hope you will come accross someone that is kind enough to give you a helping hand or a chance to lift yourself up. 🙏 Best of luck and think that those people exist, they are rare, but maybe they are in another field than the one you are in at the moment.
Witnesses they will be none they are scared to speak up. And if the boss is the owner you have had it! I have just gone through this he fired me because he didn't like me answering him back. But excuse was a complaint off a customer about me that is rubbish! Shame you didn't make more videos these are years old
Bully boss affects your mental physical health Bully boss arr worst physcopaths. Bully bosses are full of inscurity jelaousy .. Fully of corporate physcopath bosses spoiling health and stability of there employees Unfortunately such bosses need more Physological trainings to be goof human
Unfortunately I work in a business with 15 people and the owner and his kids work there. The bullies are the owner and kid. Always nitpicking and attacking people and pointing out things they think are wrong all day long.
Sir, This seems like an Excellent and Stellar Video about how to handle and deal with Bully Bosses. I wish that I came across this Video at the time when I needed it. My question is; Can I still take action against my former Employer for harboring and enabling numerous Bully Bosses and lots of Bullying???
These people have perfected their game, and everything they do is subtle enough so that you look paranoid for even suggesting they’re toxic. Also, HR will only support the boss, and make YOU out to be the trouble maker, simply by making the complaint. Managers and HR see each other as teammates, while the lower level employees are seen as utterly replaceable…just another number. You cannot win this one. Trust me.
Hi I'm san Bernardino county in cali, husband does construction and his boss has destroyed our life hes given everyone fair treatment cept for my husband. He wont pay him for travel time cause he carpools , he pays half payroll (cause he got trouble with irs) other half is cash under table.
My bully boss should pay for my therapist, my marriage therapist, my yoga, my loss of sleep, my loss of hair, and loss of appetite. She is the biggest bully I will ever know and it is really a shame people like that are allowed to keep jobs. Anyone can be a manager, it takes a bright mind and kind soul to be a leader.
Exactly she should pay for the lot! sui them
Same
It’s worth it to fight them. Something to do and besides do you work for this company or Colin Robinson here. They break laws acting like the little narcissists they are. Work em up and get them mad when ever you can. Sooner or later they stop or you get fired or better yet they do. Either way bringing it to it’s ultimate end is better than dragging it out. I see too many back down. Go higher up and see if the execs like how the weirdo treats people. It’s called defending yourself from a narcissistic abusive boss. You can win. Besides who are you really mad at your boss or your family?
Absolutely...
I think you work where I work. I haven’t had a lot of jobs but the ones I’ve had, my manager has always been cool. I can’t at all understand why people at the job LIKE IT THERE. They all say they like it. I spoke up about the abuse and asked for it to stop. They won’t let it stop.
Do not trust HR to be on your side, even when you document everything to a T. They have to protect the company, first and foremost.
sea breaze facts
So very true
This is so sad
So who do you go to?
Exactly. I learned this the hard way. HR is useless
Bully bosses are more often than not narcissistic personality types. They do not feel empathy or remorse like normal people.
Lindey Coombs This is spot on. These monsters thrive on control and manipulation, and don’t care who they trample on to get ahead.
@Jaime Alonzo they only feel their own pain . To feel for others you need to think human
Had a manager that gave random write ups. Manager was removed from the building by literally all the employees when they found out. The lady is still unemployeed cause we like to help spread the word around.
Joshua Cronin that is freakin 👏 awesome!
I work for one and we're in a psychology school. They supported my narc boss and now I'm quitting.
These bully bosses are helpless in their personal lives so they take it out at people in work
You're lucky if you find a good one these days in all honesty.
yup so true
That is not true. Bullies are often very powerful in the workplace and at home and have ideal lives with lots of money. However, bullies are ingrates and hateful of those they see as inferior to themselves. Bullies love power and control. Seeing people suffer or get upset gives them power. Very sick and sad. Laws have to be enacted to rein in bullies.
I wish I could say I agreed with you. In my experience they have used their personality to get everything they could possible want in life successfully. Its the reason you find them in positions of power.
If they have someone it is a narc and the abused situation. Serial killers kill, these jerks bully.
Do not waste time . No use. Majority of bully boss will find way to fire you sooner or later if you try to stand up for yourself. Move on. Life is too short to deal with those evil
Bastard
Sad but true I am being bullied at my job as well and it seems like HR protects the bullies
@@colleeninfusino6378 I could agree. most HR'S will protect the bully bosses and turn against you for the fun of it.😔
It is true
@@justinshaw7826 HR did that with my last boss. He moved me from one position to another to show favoritism to a female co worker who wanted me to take on part of her job so she could come in 3 hours later to save money on child care however I called BS and told the boss it sounded to me like she wanted her hours in line with another co worker who was hanging out with her on the job when he was not supposed to be in an area unless assigned there. Well I got moved and then later written up for something they got me for that no one cared about until the boss needed something to nail me with. Well I play the long game.... I predicted he was going to get fired with in 6 to 12 months and 6 months later he was for dating one of the girls on our team. Well that sealed it for me so far as I was concerned he was showing favoritism to her to size her up for a date and I filed a Grievance wanting the write up made null and void and I expect they will do that. I find out tomorrow. They can retaliate against me if they want but I am done putting up with any BS and will get a lawyer is anyone pulls that BS.
What happened ?
When I stood up I was accused of insubordination
You will always be to blame with these fuckers.
I agree with one of the comments that bullies usually are. Narcissist and they don't give a fuk about anyone but themselves
I'm going thru that right now ..
yeah they accuse people of insubordination as a means of justifying their bullshit behavior i would love to see a certain bully boss outside of work believe me it'd be the last time he ever pulled shit like that
@@georgemunro4634 they can only be fierce during work... pull up on them outside, they piss their pants and can't fight for what they are. how "gentleman" they are :)
i was bullied by my boss. i tried standing up the them, but it all backfired....so i eventually quit. i was tired of putting up with all that crap. i was tired of crying everyday from the stress they put me through. i am very happy now. i don't care about the crappy paycheck . I have peace of mind. thats all that mattters.
Glad to hear that Danielle. You have been brave.
You should read The Hatchet Man's Playbook.
@Jacob Taylor You have to go on offense. Take them out before they take u out.
Overt resistance usually will.You need to blindside them.
It's more important to get less pay than less healthy days.
I don't want to have to handle 'bully bosses' i want bully bosses to learn to handle themselves like human beings and leave the bully at home and bring the professional at work
so true. they have the problem.
Lynda Mackrous True someone should handle them just like the kids
Excellent advice! Sadly, had to finally leave, wayyyy too much stress, toxicity and anxiety provoking environment,...😓
It's a no win situation. I stood up to the owner, told him he was screwing with the wrong person, and invited him to step outside the building to discuss the situation. He was a gutless little twit with a severe Napoleonic complex but at the end of the day, it was his company. The only choice is to remove yourself from the situation.
I love this!
Thanks for doing this series. I've been bullied so much and so severely through my career that I finally gave up completely and went on disability for major depression. Your work really matters.
good for you.
Hi I can relate as I suffered a lot from workplace bully.
Bullying is a form of discrimination against targets. If a boss disregards or diminishes your good work, you are bullied, and should be able to sue.
The boss who's also an Employee acts like She's the owner of the company 🤣🤣🤣
3. Evidence was disregarded, witness's were threatened with termination. 4. Handbook means nothing, as HR is in the middle of it as well, even having the company owner making rules and behind their back the problems continue.
I've seen it to where people quit and suddenly the family member suddenly walks into a job.
Not to mention that the chain of command is a joke. Everybody covers up for the bully and it really ticks me off. That's happening where I work now.
Always speak up.
your message is the story of my life
13 yrs have been bully
HR is not doing anything and on the bully side
all witnesses were threatened
Handbook means nothing
rules and law is the bully side
i want to quit but no backup plan and I'm on a single income
Youre truly an amazing human being for helping people like this. A lot of attorneys don't.
One such boss it took me ages to get him, (don't think bad of me but he was evil to many) his own ways give him heart problems so one night I stepped out of the dark in front of him it shit him up but it did not work but made him frightened ,,next time he was working on his car in company time but the phone rang he went to answer it and left his car keys,,so I unlocked his petrol (gas) cap and put 3 pints of water in his tank, he had just filled up ,, he broke down at 6 am on his way home he had to drain his tank walk miles and get petrol,,
When he retired I sent a letter to his wife and to his son and daughter explaining in great detail what a worthless piece of shit he was, I don't feel bad about it ,because of the stress and misery he caused others,, nearly forgot he had a bad habit of running over tacks with his car tyres,,
😆
Petty level 1000000
I'm sorry, but this is great. I am laughing my ass off.
Thank you, this is helpful. I've recently had a coworker promoted over our team who is become extremely bullying and hostile towards me. I have already filed a complaint with human resources and we've been through mediation which I thought was a waste of time. I like the steps here because they're clear And directive. Thank you again.
Some times i wish we are in purge movie 🎥
Thank you; but it doesn't always work this way; eg. at universities or research institutions where things run on such a regular basis and abuse and bullying takes place in a very subtle manner ... Often it is even difficult to track the real bully behind, who is instrumentalising everything and every one to do the "dirty" job ... Susprisingly in such circles, a bully can always find someone who does the "dirty" job ... Thanks for reading ...
Here is my advice: Life is too short trying to fix a bully who is quite frankly, mentally deranged. There is no reason why you have to spend your energy in doing so. Have self respect and save your sanity by leaving or better, put all that energy in working overtime in finding another job. Let karma do her job: jerks will reap what they sow eventually but until then you have moved on to greener pastures.
Man I Just Hope That My Boss Go To Jail For Harassing
I blew that whistle and all the work place knew it was me. Supervisor and manager ended up getting fired, serves them right the bullying bastards. Only problem was the whole work force then turned on me, and I had to leave as I ended up being despised as a result . (I'm the bad guy now apparently?) 😂
If any of you are considering doing what he is saying, be sure to keep it to yourselves and don't tell even your closest work colleagues. When it comes to money and job security, people will throw you under that bus without giving you a second thought...remember that 😳
Screw this. You'll always lose against a bully boss.
My father in law was a bully boss to. The people of his department filed an complain to the commission about his degrading behavior towards woman. And nobody asked him anything anymore on the workfloor. Everybody acted like he wasn't there. He got depressed and for almost one year at home, and when he came back, the whole company evolved without his presence. Eventually they forced him by ignoring him to quit his job level into an assistant job. I witnessed the torment and the effect on him during that proces, and I enjoyed every minute of it. He lost his status completely.
@@davidslagmulder8042 This is rare and probably came after him dishing out dirt for many years.
Bully them back
Thank you for posting this. I'm being completely railroaded by my bully boss, and am trying to prepare an "evidence-based" defense for my Management Inquiry tomorrow. Too late on the anonymous angle however.
Mallory McGuire i happen to work in the railroad industry and I have a supervisor who has with out a doubt the worst attitude. He acts and portray the role of a tough man. I don’t know him personally and do not care or bother to know him on a personal level. I don’t usually see him much but when I do it feels like I stepped into hell. I pray that god gives me the patience and help me keep calm and not open my mouth and say the wrong thing. I don’t know how to defend myself with words and I just keep my mouth shut. Cause in my mind this disgusting disrespectful supervisor is a worth nothing to me. I respect the uniform and his title but on a personal level I don’t care for this person and would never look twice in his direction. If it is job related he has my attention other than that he is a joke of a supervisor and I mentally laugh at him because he is classless and unprofessional. Life must hurt when everyone around him thinks of him the same. You see he is his own poison. His own venomous tongue and attitude discredits himself as a person of value. I stay on the other side and away.
I worked at a place that was dominated by one senior technician. He kissed up and kicked down. He was charming and charismatic and at first when people warned me about him I thought that they were jealous that he and I were friends. He turned out to be a real lunatic and I wouldn't be surprised if he turned out to be a psychopathic killer.
Upper management knows about these people. There are many ways to tell when a department has a bully. The problem is that upper management got to where they are by being the bully.
gathering information is difficult sometimes, my boss did the bullying when no one is there or in the presence of people who he knows would not tell on him...
Jumma Yakubu same my supervisor only acts rude to me when salary managers aren’t in the building. Hence why I am leaving because they will know it’s because of him.
HR.... IS SNEAKY ...RECORD THEM WITH YOUR CELL ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DONT GIVE YOU A COPY WITH SIGNATUREVOF STATEMENT OF BEING HARRASED
Tomg Stereos
I tried this, HR's response was that it was unethical to record conversations and I could be terminated based on that.
@rocky mountain lass yes, that's when I told them that if that was the case than I would communicate with them in writing only.
HR protects their managers
I was just let go from my job in the guise of a budget cut but the bully boss' entourage still survived. From the past 8 months, scope was not clear on work and a threat of merger/acuquisition was used an excuse to restrict funding for simple materials (laminated posters, markers) to kaizen workshops. Interestingly enough, after denying me simple reusable material (~$300) management spent $500 on booze and happy hour dinners which is crazy. What's the point of happy hour when a boss can not support his/her staff ? So 3 months go by, and out of the blue accusation come at my face of not meeting performance goals . All this time I met goals everyone was happy and did all the leg work for major deliverables and was let go for exceeding budget even after getting approval from my boss.
Bosses who just hire and not support their staff is like feeding your staff to the wolves. As a boss, f you don't like someone don't hire them if you feel threatened by a candidate's intelligence and fabricate stories to fire your hardest working staff later.
Thank you so very much for your video. I intend to check out your blogsite for further help. I work in an industry prone to bullies and am now entering my second bully. I really appreciate your advice and will take much of it on board, although the country I live in is a bit different to the USA. From my experience with the first bully, I have some further advice that you didn't mention here. 1. NEVER fall victim to the bully trying to isolate you. They do what they do behind closed doors (mostly) and brainwash you into feeling you are the problem, not them. Expose them, first to trusted colleagues, then, when you feel more confident, just talk about their bullying in conversation. I'm not talking about bad-mouthing them, just repeating to people what went on behind the closed doors. You'll be surprised how much support you get and it stops you falling victim to going into isolation. 2. DO keep a record - bullies rely on drip-feeding small things that wouldn't sound so bad when described, but it is the repetition that is the bullying, not each isolated incident. Build up a case so strong that re-reading it empowers you. 3. Take advantage of the company's employee assistance programme, if you have one. Some companies will use the fact that you didn't take what was offered to you as their defence. Even if you have no expectations, use it. 4. When you do Alan's advice and go public, include in your letter an important question to HR "Please give me any information about previous complaints about (bully) of a similar nature to mine, or any other information that may relate to this issue" (the last bit is important). If the company would prefer to see you go, rather than expose their previous inactions in relation to previous complaints. This question will make the bully their biggest problem, not you. 5. This sounds a bit screwy, but you've got nothing to lose. In your mind, and later when you open up to conversation, refer to them as "My Bully". You won't believe how empowering it is. I'm currently annoyed I'm facing all this again, but that's life. Some days, you eat the bear and some days the bear eats you! 6. ALWAYS REMEMBER at the root of bullying is some form of jealousy. There is something (or several things) about you that the bully is insanely jealous of. Maybe you're a friendly person, or good at your job or enjoy the kind of respect that they can only pretend they have. In this macabre way, Bullying is a compliment. Tell yourself that every day. 7. Read Rudyard Kipling's poem "IF" - it got me through my first bully and he left the company. I'd really like Alan's comments to these suggestions and apologies if what worked for me may not work for everyone. Good Luck
Great advice as well. Thank you. And I am going to read that poem and have it saved for daily reference.
I can’t speak in office meetings (among 10-20 peoples) when my boss yelling I started fumbling and speechless,plz help
That's terrible; no boss should be yelling and making people feel so uncomfortable. A good boss would invite and encourage various viewpoints, and even opposing views, to make the best decision with the best information put forward by the employees. Anyways, realize that the boss is insecure and their behavior is childish. If it happens again, here's my advice: 1) Breathe slowly and deeply 2) "Ground" into your feet so that you feel rooted and carry on with your presentation 3) Write key ideas down. Write big and clearly, so if you do have a panicked moment, you can just glance at your notes from a distance. 4) Start building up your resume, make work contacts whom you trust and respect and move your talents and skills to another workplace! You definitely deserve better.
I have known people in work situations that, if they so much as meekly and politely tried to reveal what they were going through, were cited for insubordination. Best wishes to the bully them back folks but that rarely works. David cannot always slay Goliath. Just try to keep calm at all times. I am so sorry for people who go through this. Going to work should be cause for excitement and happy anticipation NOT dread, handwringing, and actual nausea! Remember, if the narcissistic boss tries to portray you as a mental case, you must even more be a picture of mental and emotional stability. These irrational, raging, out of control monsters must be allowed eventually to target an employee who WILL make a legal issue of their abuse. I have seen THIS happen with success.One bullied woman said she filed a suit and won. She said they all know now that she is not one to mess with! She works in peace! May God comfort all who go through this. A better day is coming! Let RUclips videos educate you, let the comments of others enlighten and strengthen you! Peace,
Thats really helpful sir. I played your video loudly just now to let the neighbour heard it coz shes been bullied for many times by her boss. We work as house helper in Singapore and a lot of helper here were maltreated badly inside the house so silently
Wow I need to talk to this guy in person he's very smart
I was too emotionally exhausted from my job to find the energy and focus to document the bullying. I just resigned and hope I land on my feet.
Excellent advice. Until this becomes criminalized these games companies play will continue. Most hr depts are just there to cover up like and protect the clowns at the top
I hope there is an agency that can find out about the bully boss who threatens and yells at employees without any reasons.
There won't be a low, its simple, organisations are the ones that make the laws and bend them or break them .. you see there is technology to trace cyber bullying today, there is technology to record conversations, there is technology ( cameras) that companies or organisations can set in their office space to ensure that harassment doen't take place, its that simple. People are made to believe that technology or cameras at a work place is bad for you, its not if you do your job and you keep to the rules, in fact it would seve you, because you will be able to bring some proof at least and you know the saying, every lettle helps. But why do organisations don't think about it? why do they not implement it? Because they care about your privacy at work? Doesn't that sound stupid? we are told to keep written journals? Is this a joke? Since when does the person that is put to do the most work in the office have time to take minute by minute notes on every fucking situation? Sould you write down events after you get home and cry yourself to sleep every night? why? To show it then to the HR, cry your eyes out again and then be told you either have a mental problem and its all in your head or you should be greatfull you have a job cause after all life is tough. If organisations would actually give a crap about their employees there would be laws and solutions and real people managers that actually give a crap and put you first, instead of their selfish needs. Sorry but if you don't drink yourself to bed, take drugs or fuck the entire office you are boring.
Hey folks, if you have this problem,you gotta read a piece titled The Hatchet Man's Playbook. Can't recommend it highly enough.
EXCELLENT words of wisdom! Thank you so much, we needed this advice at work. I will share this information at work so that all of us can send a letter! God bless you.
These are very good suggestions I wish I had followed in past horrible situations. I recommend beginning early on because one's brain can get addled by fear and stress as things progress.
exactly what I'm dealing with, a lazy, bully boss and micromanager. I love my job, but I'm to the point of considering putting my two weeks notice in, I just can't stand working with her anymore. I'm walking on eggshells the entire shift when I have to work with her. I don't feel like a grown woman at work doing my job, I feel like a child being punished and I hate that. she's so unbelievably ridiculous, I'll give you some examples, she spilled gravy while cooking and told me to come on the cooks line and wipe it up off the floor by hand and wipe it off counter space so "it wouldn't get on her new shirt". I'm not even supposed to be on the cooks line. I make $5.03 an hr and sometimes I have to cook my customers food because she's outside smoking while on Facebook. she told me one night to do dishes left from five girls from 2nd shift. there were 6 bins that were OVERFLOWING we didn't have a dishwasher, at this point I had been doing EVERYTHING plus dishes and I was fed up, told her no. its not fair, she refused to let me use the bathroom or have a 5 minute smoke break for SIX HOURS STRAIGHT. I was literally about to pee myself all while she spent that 6 hours outside on her phone on Facebook and Snapchat. she's manager, she's supposed to do freezer pull then put everything away- she doesn't...she makes me do it BUT she prints the day dots out with her name on them and puts them on everything that was pulled from the freezer. her drunk friends come in. make a mess like pigs, don't tip me and she doesn't charge them. a customer will ask me for butter on the side, shell ask me why I'm putting butter on the side. a customer will request extra syrup for a to go order and shell take the extra out of the bag and ask why I'm giving extra syrup. along with many many other things she does, says and makes me do that SHE'S supposed to do. when the cook gets off, and she has to step up and cook she gets pissy with me like its my fault then she REALLY starts knitpicking at me and it really puts me on edge and I have to explain EVERY move I make and EVERYTHING I do. she does NOT like to work, she's 22 years old. she likes to smoke, drink, have sex, be on Facebook snapchat, sleeeeep and eat. work, hell no. don't get me wrong I don't mind team work, I have no problems stepping up and helping. but there's a difference between helping out and taken advantage. man I make $5.03 an hour and I don't just wait tables anymore, I cook and do dishes along with wait tables for $5.03an hour, I'm surprised she doesn't make me take the trash out too. I don't know what to do. I love my job, I'm good at it. I don't have these issues with my other manager. I don't wanna walk away, I've acquired so many regulars butt I'm ready to give up :( what do I do???
Shelly Harly hey hopefully you quit and got out of there one thing i live by is life is too short especially to work at a job you hate !
Shelly Harly QUIT if you hadn't done so already. You are putting up with all of that for $5 an hour? Have some respect for yourself and leave at once.
I understand. I have the same problem. It's disgusting and I want to leave but I can't afford a pay cut.
Get out of there. Your mental health is way more important
Shelly it sounds like you do make tips because you are a waitress as well just go in there love on your customers make lots of tips have a smile on your face to the bully and it's very difficult not to let them get under your skin but your customers are very wise they know you are being bullied and they're going to give you a good tips stay let her quit
I had a bully boss. Two of my co-workers also realized the "Big A" (as we referred to him) was a bully and we discussed possible ways to deal with the Big A. Regarding step 2 - do not engage with the bully boss, one of my co-workers came up with "Miranda" - you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you by the Big A. A poker face also came in handy. Bullies get their jollies from getting a reaction from you.
I quit my job today. I can't tell what was wrong with my boss, he told his superiors that I was skilled, trustworthy, and punctual. Then in time to time out of nowhere the boss threw shit on me and the working group like if it was always our shift that left the place unclean. Tuesday, I straghten up our storage hall with a group of new blokes. I was the only one who knew how to do it. Tough work. What did I get from my bully boss? A shitstorm to my neck that I didn't do anything at all in storage room. I shouted back at him, that I had quit the shitty job already. Well, the job was alright, artistic woodworks, painting, and stuff like that. It was the bully boss that sucked.
Just had a negative experience with former boss and this video really helped me get an idea of what to do next. Thanks.
Wish I had seen this 20 years ago .
I think the bully boss is a person that had big shoes to fill the former person in charge...with this add a carapace forged over to end everydays shift with a production oriented over what a fellow employee feel...one more is the language barrier too
I made lots if notes and was ready to present my case. The director looked at it and said lets move on and assigned me to another group
My mom said to find a new job and that is the best thing to do. I have filed complaints about 4x now
how about small businesses with office of 3 people!
Dear Alan, Thank you for your precious time and information. It is a bit too late for me to complain to the bully boss discreetly, but the battle between HR, boss & me goes on (last 12 months now). In the beginning, I was making a snaped and emotional engagement, BUT now I am more calm and systematic with my claim. Digging through the employment law and using Toulmin Model with my argument :)
Thank you for keeping this video up. It's been very helpful I'm dealing with stuff at work along with other coworkers that don't know what to do. Much appreciated God bless you!!
In all honesty there needs to be Workplace reform immediately!
For 8 years I've been bullied and Cyber Stalked and she has downloaded my personal data and passwords from my phone which I have changed so many times. All of my accounts have been compermised and I heard her talking to others in the office so I know she has hacked me when I'm home. She is afraid I will get an Attorney, which I want one. I want her punished not the agency.
Remember also, that sometimes narcissitic bosses leave on their own accord, once they have had enough/bored with working for one company and 'want another challenge'. My boss moved to Tenby in Wales, I was so pleased he was going to leave, I couldn't believe it. When I check out the hotel he went to, I saw reviews of his hotel and some customers spotted staff bullying staff in front of them.. bet that was him. He has one side to his family and another side to his colleagues and friends. I don't know why he treated us like dirt. Even our first staff meeting with him wasn't very pleasant. One Eastern European woman stood up to him.. and she left.. so it is hard to stand up to him. I used to feel nervous most days going to work.... and it was worse after I was on holiday and staff would be gossiping about me.
One of my bully bosses mysteriously left the workplace one day. Turns out he stole £1000 of the hotel's money in the UK. Some narc bosses are hypocrites.
Build your reputation at work as someone who is reliable, has integrity, works hard and gets along with others. It won't take long before you get to know a few folks in a position of power. Figure out who among them who you trust the most to protect your privacy and go to them about the bully boss. That's what I did and the bully boss was removed from their position and given a new position with nobody underneath them. That bully boss then left a few months later (likely because they didn't have anyone to pick on, thus making them feel impotent). I'm fortunate in that the company I work for is pretty good about not tolerating improper behavior. Before doing this, think long and hard about who you approach and the potential for blowback. Sometimes your best bet is to leave the company or wait it out (bosses tend to rotate out of positions quite frequently, with bully bosses even more so).
Really appreciate your information. Interesting and prevalent topic. Thank you profoundly for giving hope.
The part about having someone else type and mail the letter cracked me up! 🤣
OK I have a question about the video my boss said I had to I have no choice but I have to work every day at work no time off and I Hurd that was illegal
We have a boss who is like this. She's paranoid. You can't have a personal private conversation. It's like she's lurking around the corner listening to everything you say in case it's about her. It's disgusting. We are micromanaged all the time and it's terrible. Our department has the fastest revolving door I've ever seen in all the years I have dealt with this. We're sick of it and finally the top bosses are aware. I'm still the senior employee in my department, and I already wrote a letter to the Administrators.
I was working a while back at a place I was quite happy at, but for a bullying colleague. Things gradually escalated to the point where he physically threatened me in front of all my colleagues just because I spoke up for myself after he had thrown my bike on the ground! Unfortunately, the boss wasn't really interested in my side of the story which basically handed this guy carte blanche to treat me as a second class citizen. If this guy was bad enough before, he would have been insufferable afterwards, so I felt I had little choice but to resign.
You are right, I stayed and was constatly their joke, they turned every new team member against me, even people I considered friends started acting with me as if I was somehow a piece of crap. If I would have been wiser, I would have realised from day one that organisation was an infestation of bullies.
you call it like it is, I always said that my supervisor was an anima l and I don't know what kind but you have the right terminology "Beast"
A jackass
Jeremy Rhodes actually not even a living specimen a referred to HER as a brick wall
Lynda Mackrous swift reply for a comment that was 6 years old. Thanks for the laugh
Jeremy Rhodes I know I couldn’t believe how old it was’ couldn’t remember ‘ but I’m on my iPad and your reply came as notification
Lynda Mackrous nice. I have a meeting early tomorrow morning with my boss he called me into his office after we had a dispute over the phones. Wish me luck
For some reason my boss has been glaring at me for no reason. Back then I use to be mad all the time and was very mean, now I have changed. I just go to my job to work and go home. Idk why he glares at me for no reason. I have caught him 2-3 times glaring at me already. Why is that?
Have you asked him?
Because he's unhappy inside and he's an abuser
another asshole boss .... glare back!
You could try glaring back or you could ignore him or you could do many things bullies are bullies who knows what their problems are
Thank you. My coworkers tell.jokes about people that dont exist or just shoot the shit about any and every sensitive topic they think applies to me. They make jokes about everything you can think of. Im not the most advanced guy in any area, and I can tell.when theyre honestly talking and joking and when theyre trying to have a dig at me. They do it when they think Im.listening or around close enough to hear, the store is very quiet on third shift. Then they started swapping items onto my shelves after we all punch in, giving me more to deal with while frustrating me. The older boss used to scream in my face
A coworker screamed at me so bad he spit on me.
I got cornered into offices weeks after and intimidated and when I finally stood up for myself I was too angry at being mistreated and it having been gone swept under the rug.
Ive been lied to. I get the bad rap. For being bullied on third shift by a bunch og idiots who were so mad they got stuck there for the rest of THEIR lives that they had to take it out on me and make MY life a living hell because I never knew what the hell I was doing.
Now Im stuck in this scenario where I need this job, but management wont ever believe anything I have to say because I "fly off the handle" at the drop of a hat when really Ive been pushed around and now Im literally being harassed and am having some slight trouble proving it without being retaliated against. Management wont believe me. Just gotta get evidence of them switching items on my shelves and maybe theyll listen about them personally attacking me over the years. Telling jokes about the stuff I used to openly say when things were neutral. Taking my personal info as ammo. Then everything about me is a joke after that.
I dont blow up out of nowhere. I ignore the little shit until it becomes more and they do ten other things and more and more and then Im.ANGRY and then Im.taking it home ans bringing it back to work and I DONT DESERVE THIS THEY DONT DESERVE TO DO THIS T9 ME
Comments are more valuble than the show itself.. Read and scroll down >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
What about feeling inadequate as well as the other things you said? What about a hostile work environment?
H.R protects management even when management violates company policies
My boss daily harass me . He used to find fault in my work . Send me in hard duty give more work which i can't able to complete on time . With the help of higher authorities continuously send me warning letters . Hard core facts is i can't quit job coz its govt job sir . What to do this senior sir .
Thank you. I am in need of this advice right now.
Just get out of there pronto
I had a bully boss, one day I asked for proper documentation to do a machining procedure and he got pissy at me, I walked away and half way back to my work area he jumped in front of me and chest bumped me, this was aggressive, themvhebrold me to go home, I was like ??? Went to HR they said go home, next day HR calls and said I am laid off and to get my tool asap.
What if she seems to just bully me and nobody else?
I started being bullied from the start. I’ve been in service 1 year. The company is constantly trying to trick me, setting me up for failure since returning from FMLA. It’s a fortune 100 company so I can’t believe they’re doing this. “Send this to the rep,” … “you’re being written up for sending this to the rep.” ?!? They won’t let me use my sick days to see my dr (put me on probation = no day off = can’t see dr.) I don’t understand. I may be just a girl but I just don’t understand. When I tried to document the abuse by sending myself emails from mgmt, I was written up by compliance.
Had one so bad , after a few years I started imagining and dreaming about murdering him , I guess he could sense it because he became scared of me for a while before I quit , it was so bad I actually would stare at his head and imagine my self splitting it open with a hatchet. Thankfully I always kept the repercussions in mind .
He about drove me too it .
You just made my night 😂😂😂
I have been yelled at by a boss. I know it happens a lot a bosses are under stress to get the job done, however, it is wrong. No one learns when you yell at them.
The NHS in Britain is absolutely riddled with bullying bosses. Most are nurses promoted above and beyond their ability with little or no professional management training. This is a helpful video and there are some useful tips I will try. However, unfortunately with unions having less and less power in UK, investigations are undertaken internally by managers and they all stick together and support each other. Britain was built by the working classes, but they no longer have any power at all. It might as well be 1900.
I fully agree NHS has so many of these persons they are useless bums but making the life miserable for the good workers NHS should have on site videos records to record the behavior of these people and punish them as is the slogan zero tolerance for violence against the NHS workers same should be zero tolerance for bullying in NHS.
TRUE ALL THE WAY, ONCE YOU FORGE A COMPLAINT YOUR AS GOOD AS GONE, BOSSES HATE YOU, COLLEAGUES WONT STAND WITH YOU EITHER, IF THEY HAVE IT IN FOR YOU BYE BYE
This is how I dealt with a bully boss.... I seeked contentment with a different employer for more income.
My current boss should be smart.
My boss has gotten customers involved in harassing me... he's been trying to get me to look like I'm nuts and out of my mind. I confront.him about it but hes so slick that I don't ever get anywhere with it time and time again. It's not your typical bully boss and I have no way of ever getting it to stop. I have a child with special needs and i cant find a job where I can both earn as much as I do along with the schedule I have that allows me to be able to be there for my daughter since she can't be watched by just anyone. She needs special care and I can't afford to have another job and pay for expert childcare. I'm screwed.
All I want is to go to work and do my job without having this impact every aspect of my life and my overall well being. I'm not asking for that much, just let me do my job without having to carry around all of this drama.
Retaliation is always the fear of many employees and usually those people who are bullied are the new ones which are afraid to speak up because theyre under in observation period meaning they are not yet on permanent status and can easily be fired in a snap of a finger.
Happening to me, now. And now, they are involving another staff member. It is horrific. I am a contractor and make my own schedule. They are demanding more and more volunteer hours and haranguing me, and now pitting me against other staff, if I don’t or cannot because I have plans. Time to go. But I do plan to file a formal complaint--there is no recourse because as a small non profit with less than 50 employees, they do not have to abide by any laws. For example, I have a disability and they can still give me grief because of it because of less than 50 employees. Horrific.
After doing your homework first when looking for a job after finding the least bullying boss around how do you learn to prepare yourself for the presenting themselves most of the time as a gentleman or lady bullying style done in a treats to all of Pavlov\s dogs there style after all the employees there have signed an agreement to never reveal their managment practiices already? No matter how much research ahead of time a person looking for work does later when working there in that kind of bullying enviironment most of the time in retail which pits one employee against another is so hard to prove.
I feel very depressed because the new boss brought in his own friend to take over my job. Refusing to leave my job means I have to face persecution daily
I’m in this position. My boss has his best friends work with them and he fixes there time, let them off when they want, come and go as they plz and put there work on me. He talks to me like a dog and I’m scared to lose my job. I need some advice
You need to work towards being less job dependant. Yes job dependency is an actual issue these days. I first heard the term from a friend of mine that is a financial advisor. Employers are not very high on employees that are not job dependant and that's a good thing. I sure you have heard " hire people that are in need of a job, people who are hungry" I'm sure you have worked around people that are not job dependant and could literally just quit at the drop of a dime. You'll notice they just go in and do their job and head out when their time is done, they brush off anything the boss says and move on. Take control of your expenses and gain financial freedom and always learn new things at work, home, recreation, and develop yourself. Keep a look out for that open door or opportunity that pops up every now and then. It's important to know when your times is up and it is time to move on and have the financial stability to transition.
that'd be a great law or I was thinking some type of your the lead then I'm the lead type of thing
I am fairly certain the current manager of my team has OCPD. Number one, he hovers and surprises you with contrarian feedback when you are in deep focus, which completely ruins the entire day or two after. Number two, he will monologue for 90 minutes straight in a 45 minute meeting-if you take notes it ends up only being buzz words in sentence form. If you ask a question, he looks like you insulted his mother. Lists and Lists of every changing whatever. Constantly moving stuff around where you can't find it, and if you try to do anything to keep it organized he gets upset for disturbing his very possessive approach. Constant need to keep tabs on every click of a button on a project. Refuses to delegate anything really. It's all sitting and watching him fumble his way through your own job duties, and you can't do anything or he will dive in front of you to "correct" you.
(seriously. I asked "Who is the client?" once. Looked like he wanted to kill me and responded "I AM!")
I gave up with him. I tried to communicate with him like a human. I talked to his boss and asked to report to a different manager multiple times. I talked to an HR Leadership Coach for a year. I applied for other jobs. The damned pandemic happened. It just gave up on him. I say "Good morning", "Ok", and "Good to see you" pretty much every day. I play deaf, dumb, and distant as boringly as possible. And I do the best work I can in secret.
After several years, and his own boss getting fired and us getting moved to a more senior director, people are starting to notice. I try to stay cool, while he overcomplicates everyone's lives. The new team notices my adaptability and awareness of the new role, and the notice him clinging to the past and micromanaging. Even the CEO called him out for micromanaging me in front of him by saying "Man, [OCPD manager]! I thought [OP] was directing this one! LOL!"
Some people can dish it out, but they can't take it. They can't meet anyone half-way. They think they are entitled to more control over others than reality permits.
I am a worm pulled from gutter by a merciful saviour only trying to help
Be careful of bosses who are controlled by the narcissists on the work force
I had great anxiety and depression by my cheated and bullied bosses in the past because of that time I didn't understand and speak an English language.
Why did they hire you in the first place if they believed you were no good for them ? Its not you hun .. you know it in your heart. I hope you will find a better place and kinder people. You see I once interviewed as a coffee shop assistant, the person that wanted to hire me gave me a trial, he then believed after the first day that I wasn't confident enough and not what he was looking for, he paid me for the day and told me nicely I am not what he needs and he can not afford to spend too much time teaching me everything till I got more confident. He did offer to give me some part time job, which I refused because I was a bit embarrassed and 19 years old, I never hated that person for telling me the truth, I understood his business needs, I understood I could not serve at the time and entire football stadium with beer and food cause I just got to London, everything was new to me. But I also apreciated that he paid me, offered me lunch, offered me a chance to improve and basically being a decent human being. What your previous employer did has no excuse, those people are simple pigs and you are better than them because you tried to work, no matter how hard it was for you. So one day I hope you will come accross someone that is kind enough to give you a helping hand or a chance to lift yourself up. 🙏 Best of luck and think that those people exist, they are rare, but maybe they are in another field than the one you are in at the moment.
I am to railroad by a bully boss that i am beyond mentally stressed out i am scared to work there
Witnesses they will be none they are scared to speak up. And if the boss is the owner you have had it! I have just gone through this he fired me because he didn't like me answering him back. But excuse was a complaint off a customer about me that is rubbish! Shame you didn't make more videos these are years old
Thank you. #3 and5 hit home
Bully boss affects your mental physical health
Bully boss arr worst physcopaths.
Bully bosses are full of inscurity jelaousy ..
Fully of corporate physcopath bosses spoiling health and stability of there employees
Unfortunately such bosses need more Physological trainings to be goof human
Unfortunately I work in a business with 15 people and the owner and his kids work there. The bullies are the owner and kid. Always nitpicking and attacking people and pointing out things they think are wrong all day long.
Does not matter what the handbook says.... no one is reading it. Not the managers, not the employee. Only afterwards, and then by their attorney.
Awesome!!! Thank you.
Sir, This seems like an Excellent and Stellar Video about how to handle and deal with Bully Bosses. I wish that I came across this Video at the time when I needed it.
My question is; Can I still take action against my former Employer for harboring and enabling numerous Bully Bosses and lots of Bullying???
some boss got problem at home with a gold-digger wife.and crap.. best way is to save and open a business.
These people have perfected their game, and everything they do is subtle enough so that you look paranoid for even suggesting they’re toxic. Also, HR will only support the boss, and make YOU out to be the trouble maker, simply by making the complaint. Managers and HR see each other as teammates, while the lower level employees are seen as utterly replaceable…just another number. You cannot win this one. Trust me.
I have kept a recorder in my phone. I record everything and not even a smallest interaction goes unrecorded.
Is he still around? No videos for 9 years🥲
Hi I'm san Bernardino county in cali, husband does construction and his boss has destroyed our life hes given everyone fair treatment cept for my husband. He wont pay him for travel time cause he carpools , he pays half payroll (cause he got trouble with irs) other half is cash under table.