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No ... I mean if the bosses are ignorant none of this nonsense would help, you're either for them or against them and you know, I didn't find this video AT ALL helpful.
@@keplermission4947 How could you pick sides? Honestly bosses always have bosses.... your either the type that speaks up or the type that gets rolled over..... I'm not the roll over type GRRR
Recurring issue for me is being bullied in the workplace. I just stay true to myself, allow my values to guide me, demonstrate integrity and remind myself that no one can rob me of my authenticity... which only seems to infuriate the bullies more. Why can't we all just leverage each other's strengths and work together?
Absolutely Aimee. All communication begins with remaining strong and true to yourself. In families, in cities, in schools in geo-politics--in EVERYTHING we should be appreciating one another's strengths and virtues rather than being frightened of differences. Being number one is not nearly so important as being one.
@Ange Lom I think we may have a few things in common... previous two partners were extremely narcissistic. But apparently highly sensitive, empathic people attract them so I put the responsibility on my own shoulders to educate myself. Then I can work on the things I do that send the message to these people that I'm an easy target. Each experience teaches me something. Only thing is, I find that it is like playing a video game... when you level up, the boss you need to defeat at the end is smarter, quicker and stronger than the last!
Going through the same thing. Boss is so jealous that now she cant use, "She doesnt have a degree". I just got my Bachelor's last May and God Willing will graduate with my Master's this May. To rub it in instead of just being happy for me, she says, "Maybe I will go for my PHd". She doesnr want me to be equal ro her education wise because she always used it against me and now she is doing it to other co-workers. She is not a nice person
@@chilloften James 1:19-20 ESV “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
My boss said something derogratory to me once. My back was to him at my desk. I paused a moment, stood up. turned to face him looking in his eyes. I said Don't you ever speak to me that way again. He got all red and apologized.
I've always used: I've been called worse by better. Works like a charm. And it always takes them a minute to realize they've been insulted back, tenfold.
Much love to you - I’m glad you’re taking steps to not allow their behavior to affect how you feel & behave. We have the power to control our own body & mind, via the inner self, regardless of what’s happening on the outside of us, but many of us didn’t know that we even could. Dan has provided us with our User Manual. 💕😂 My husband was really stressed by toxic people at work (it seems like where there’s one, there are many more, it spreads), he told me one night that he was afraid it would cause him to have a heart attack. A few months later, right before he quit, he went to get some dental work done and the dentist sent him to the ER - his BP was sky high - his doctor said he got to the hospital just in time. He was very close to having a heart attack or stroke, the EKG even appeared like he might have had a heart attack - but he didn’t. Even though he knew how stressful it was, he didn’t realize just how bad it was until he quit and gained perspective. He’s fine now, BP is normal.
This channel is a ray of HOPE and SUNSHINE after 3 years of covert bullying from 2 people at an otherwise great workplace. In public these 2 women are all smiles b/c they know I have allies and support. In private they call me incompetent, give brutal critiques, and the latest was a poison pen letter (private of course) accusing me of massive improprieties ahead of being publicly acknowledged for my success on a project. I've cried my eyes out for the last time. IT STOPS NOW. I'm SO DONE. I'm practicing the techniques daily and am "locked and loaded" for the next bullying attack. Thank you again for making the world a better place one conversation at a time. Much love and blessings to you.
Excellent tactics! Having dealt with narcissist people they will try anything to put you on the defensive and that is a losing position! PLUS,I like your humor :)
“You don’t exist to me…let’s stay on track.” 😂😂😂😂😂! That is so powerful! I will however engage you if you are being constructive and respectful. Soooooo GOOD!
Yes, don't ever feel rushed to respond to anything. Taking time, rather than immediately responding has power, it allows us to discern what is happening, and to not allow our emotions to respond, but it also allows others a few seconds to see through the rude comment just made, and some silence often gives the rude person pause to realize what they've just said, and also kind of gives them a "wonder warning" - especially if they're used to people reacting immediately to their rudeness - give them a few seconds or more of silence as a warning. It's like when someone says something really odd and everyone just stops, like, 'what just came out of your mouth'?
@@SydMountaineer you do wonderful. You throw in some dashes & quotation marks which helps divide. On desktop compute, I'm better at catching my longer sentences--- removing some words. These silly cell phones...I need to PAUSE more before send >> to re-read. 😆
I love this channel! Why am I just discovering this? I have difficulty defending myself without being confrontational; the phrase "Let's stay on track" is brilliant.
I'm nice all the time mostly and let myself get treated poorly because I'm not confident etc. I had one outburst due to someone being awful (long story in a comment above lol). She kept going so I let slip Mum had died (pathetic anyway as not the point). and she still wouldn't stop. I called her a name (remarkably restrained I thought) and banged a door. Well the scheming bully must have realised I may have a case together (don't know if she's been pulled up but she does it to others..this is a nurse who works with people smdh). Despite being upset and wanting to take her to HR I wouldn't have done it. I expected us to sort it ourselves. Long story shortish, evil genius involved the CEO and is sending me to HR with backup from 2 others, one a surgeon. She said I hit her but it's bullshit (not the point as point blank would never happen, I haven't heard of bruises etc ..touch wood she didn't already have). Put aside all the reason it is so ludicrous I'm still reeling, I'm clumsy with health problems so I'm dizzy and weak. I'm in by cleaners and kitchen staff, patients, families etc for being friendly and we (staff) agree we are invisible to some nurses and doctors so they know. Shit thing is, my outburst will be judged and a lying bully will get sympathy and even the cleaners etc may be turned. So many come to work cranky and get away with it. I have a stupid but human response once and I'm screwed Sorry for rant...seems to be nice people here that get it.
In a lifetime I could not find clear examples on specifically how to defend oneself or a group from aggressive behaviours. Why? Virtually all mentors advise us to tell the aggressor how the attack makes us feel. I have tried that approach and not only does it not work on real bullies, but it reassures them their attacks are working. It is like telling a physical attacker that you don’t appreciate being knocked down. Sure, that works great. (Sarcasm.) Unchecked bullies can destroy a defenceless person’s self-esteem, damage their reputations, interfere with their career advancement, and make working a miserable affair. You provide doable behaviour options that some of us have desperately needed. Your teachings could on some levels save a person’s life. I admire and appreciate what you bring to all of us.
Wow, thank you for your story and your kind words, Prairie Dog. I'm doing my best, as most of us are and trying to make a positive difference--as most people do. We just need a little help from one another along the way.
EXCELLENT ADVICE! Some people really feed off of trying to push your buttons, and get under your skin. To stay calm, and not allow them to manipulate your emotions and reactions is excellent advice!
I honestly believe horrible bosses need to take responsibility for their own insecurities, aggressions & actions. I refuse to put up with passive aggressive attacks or statements insinuating untruths. It’s better to let go and move on to greener pastures, everyone has a right to work in a respectful and safe environment. Thank you for sharing, Dan. Keep well.
Thank you , this was a good reminder. Get very frustrated when toxic people keep coming back and don’t let go even when I try to deflect. Need to keep practicing, feel stressed when someone comes at my boundaries.
I like how you deflected the negativity and simultaneously didn’t validate/take the bait of the asshole at the same time. Very brilliant. You are demonstrating how to be human Teflon!!
My boss has been practicing bully for years. You can use these wonderful counterattacks against her but then suddenly, bam! she comes out with a whole new bully tactic. I am going to have to do a lot of research so I am properly armed for any aggressive/passive aggressive behaviors she tries to throw at me.
My former boss was a bully. Add to that the fact that he was 6' 9" tall and the intimidation factor was huge. (No pun intended) It finally drove me to early retirement because nobody in the corporation would help me. Finally, after so much turn over of good people at that location he was fired.
I have learn the hard way; when you control and manage yourself the rest of the world go to hell! For me it works to remain silent, don’t react , give them a quick confident look and focus back on your work; it cracks them!
Media jobs are home to "The Impossible People". When mixed with a public sector environment such as a university setting, you have situations that defy any of the categories you talk about.
True ppl are work see it as weak…. Sucks but that’s corporate life. Now one should be ur therapist at work but ppls feeling so matter so let’s say “it’s troubling”
High respect for the stunning response: pause, sip of drink...raised hand (no eye contact)...now what was I doing?..Lets stay focused. This content is GOLD. Thank you! Thank you!...Especially with the holidays coming....
Excellent advice when dealing with people who are narcissistic. Keep in mind some have Autism spectrum conditions and they might appear rude, they just are honest ( most part) and are transparent. This video shall teach people how to deal with difficult persons
Many thanks. I will adapt this approach to deal with the misogynistic, narcissistic bully, in the retirement home, who is extremely worried about his image - rushes about doing nice things for people ,when he has an audience, and is verbally abusive and insulting for no apparent reason, to some females.
I hear this so often from the medical community and people who work with the vulnerable. It is truly discouraging to see bullies anywhere, but ESPECIALLY in this environment.
This is so very helpful to me. I have had a very difficult time as i am autistic and i just found out at 53. My work relationships have always been extremely problematic as my bosses have used my "hyper-skills" and then my coworkers seem to hate me for it. All the while i have kept thinking it would help further me socially 😢 I am finally learning ❤
When you say "hyper-skills" do you mean? Do you overachieve in the workplace due to getting more done than your co-workers and that's why they hate you for it? Do you do more work because the boss noticed you're ahead of the team and then the boss abused the situation and has given you additional work to get done? Then turns around and uses your spurt of work "energy" against the co-workers because you have a strength the others do not? I had this happen to me in the workplace. One girl had so much energy for one night drawing labs, that she expected and put pressure on the rest of us, why couldn't we get 9 lab draws an hour? Needless to say, I never once hated the girl that was able to achieve 9 draws an hour in just that one night. I was impressed. I was sourly disappointed in the manager for holding such an extreme standard for the rest of us to achieve. That was terrible.
"Never defend anything." My boss often gets fixated on giving negative criticism about me during performance appraisal. As the boss relates past situations to point out those negatives, my boss gets lost in commenting about my other co-worker's negatives. I end up analyzing the situation with my boss and giving ideas how to understand others and even suggest possible solutions. My initial anxiety turned to a sense of relief! I wasn't really the problem. It's my boss who needs someone to help solve problems.
Thank you for this excellent video! I’m always learning how to better express my feelings in a professional but firm way and in practice your strategies work 99.9% of the time. As a younger manager who usually has to manage people who are significantly older than I am sometimes they don’t respect my position and your magic phrases along with lots of other strategies that you have talked about have helped me settle a lot of issues and shut down inappropriate language. Keep up the excellent work!!
As an older person, it is very difficult to respect being ordered to do things by someone who could be your grandchild.You'll understand one day.But it also depends on the person.If you are rude and on a power trip, no one respects you , no matter what age you are.
Oh my gosh, you are my hero! I had horrible role models throughout my childhood, who used violence to communicate. As soon as I learned that others don’t behave that way, I KNEW I didn’t want to do what I learned. The sad thing is that I never learned the right way to replace my old patterns. You actually have the precise lessons I’ve needed forever!
I am freaking out. I am transitioning into a management position at my job. I will be managing the most lackadaisical people to ever walk the earth. I've been working with them for 2.5 years and rather than improving, they remain stagnant. They have so much potential, but I am not really sure how to get them to find value in their work and understand how impactful their contributions are to the team. I've subscribed to your channel because I think you can help me be an effective manager. Thank you for sharing your tricks of the trade. 👍🏻👏👍🏻👏
This is beautiful! I've had the luxury of being my own boss all of my life, thank goodness! These are still good things to remember in general. There's always going to be someone, somewhere who displays behavior that needs to be called out or put in their place. Thank you!
I'm a non-native English speaker, and I'm loving your videos because the advice is so good but also because you speak in a clear and eloquent manner. I want to learn from that. 💕💕💕Thank you
I love 💕 this! I’m soft spoken and want to learn more about how I can express my feelings without being emotional and be more professional. I’m setting my bell 🔔 on! Hehe Thank You 🙏🏼
As an autistic person I find this idea very helpful for communicating with others. I normally practice scripts for day to day interactions with normal people I come into contact with. Thank you for your sharing these tools
I love this channel because when your going to college online. It can be amazing how rude younger people can be so it's nice to have an appropriate come back.
I like this style! The best part about doing things the way that as described here is that you don't stoop to the level of the rude person. Other people will notice that also. Remain calm, keep your wits... and win with self control. That's the biggest insult to someone who is trying to bring you down. Your response is their power. Don't let them have it.
OH WOW! Finally I have confirmation that saying “I appreciate that...” is the worst ! It flicks a switch in me when someone says it and yet so many are using it!!😡 Start the revolution! ✊
I have had to leave so many jobs because of bullying and harassment. I'm so glad for your channel! My current boss is not scheduling me for the hours l was hired in at. It's a nightmare.
I am practicing this I took great notes now I’m not angry I have powerful tools under my belt this difficult person was sent to me as a blessing.I can now have more grace and mercy on other people because I’m sure to someone I have also been difficult
Another great example of this is an interview with Russell Brand, where he demonstrates the manners he wishes to also be shown. He transforms a moment of controversy into a proactive flip of the script. Brilliant!
I want him to follow me around and speak for me for a day! I can learn 'during' the issue, not prior to. He is amazing and fun to listen to. I would hate to be on the other end of his 'disappointment' though!
You killed this shit man!!!! Omg so helpful. Like that biting yet polite demeanor that impresses onlookers and stops the bad guy in his tracks. Been looking for this
If I am dealing with a very difficult person I will alway look them dead straight in the eyes and proceed to tell him/her what I think then I walk away 💯👍
Wow. These are the practical phrases i needed. I just defended myself at work last week when a coworker was rude and i walked away feeling somehow like I managed to look worse than the rude coworker. Thanks for the tips!
Hey Dan...Would you please consider making a video about confronting workplace gossip both when people are gossiping about you and how to discourage it in others? Thank you.
THAT IS A VIDEO MUCH NEEDED.but even a believer in God it's never gonna work on the devils playground.my work is so abusive I have no choice and gods answer is clear.bide my time then do what is needed.inflation is why I'm stuck.or I'd of left.today I was attacked scratched choked with my shirt and everyone gossips and it's always my fault.not a victim....but this drama I'm up against all men who do not act right.drinks at lunch.i mean help god.
Stunning! I always get upset when coworkers are rude. I should always always be careful of how I address these situations, because some people talk in a way of wanting to physically attack another. I believe this information will help me. Thank you.
Love that your work skips the blah blah blah explanations, excuses, justifications, labels, and background drama - You’re just like “Handle that, Honey. Here’s how:” Thank you!! It’s like being able to fast forward through genuinely otherwise valuable psychobabble and just get the desired effect in the moment without wasting time getting lost in a backlog of post-offense analysis. Seriously. Thank you!
Thank you! I am a mental heath addiction therapist and I work with a staff member who is very difficult and inappropriate on a number of levels. This helped!!! Thank you so much Mr. O’Connor.
I wish I had this in my tool belt a few weeks ago. The sales manager implied that one of my coworkers was problematic because he's gay. I was taken aback by his comment to me and didn't know how to respond. My coworker does have many problems, but it's certainly not because he's gay. I wish I could go back and say something like this to him to make him very aware that what he said was not okay. I know for the future at least!! Thank you!
I love the phrases & words Dan uses to describe certain things like "Duct Tape Phrases" and the names like Rudy for rude people - so fitting & appropriate. Plus, it truly makes these techniques easier to remember, and also helps to identify & discern situations.
The fact that RUclips knew I had an interaction at work yesterday by recommending this today is sending me 😂 I love everything you brought. The woman brought up my perfume, which I wear everyday and was never brought up. Not ever. Before she mentioned it, she was giving me dirty looks throughout the day and I just acted very neutral. After she came to me I was was pleasant and just walked away.
I’m so grateful I found you 🙏🏼 I’m empathetic and kind, and tend to end up in situations where an overbearing narc is questioning my work or trying to put me in a situation where I am unnecessarily expected to apologize to him. I now know an appropriate response to his aggressive words, thank you so very much.
You are a phenomenal speaker and have a clear, organized, intelligent and personable way of delivering valuable, empowering, confidence building communication skills that I didn't know I lacked until I stumbled onto your channel through a person who requested to be friends on FB whom I don't even know. Unexpected but beneficial outcome and I subscribed to your channel. Thank you. You're very wise
I had a boss that would come off condescending... It was only my 2nd or 3rd week there, but in general she was a rude one. She told me "If employees work the way you do none of us would have jobs." I told her "You're Site Coordinator... so how about you start coordinating your site?" She replied "How about you dont tell me how to do my job!" I replied "I'm doing a shit job but at least I'm doing it." She gave the nastiest look. I didnt see it but I sure as hell felt it 😂😂😂😂
I mean it’s also in her name description.Some people think they are more than that and end up not doing their own job title. I’m glad you stood up for yourself and taught her a lesson.😊
Some of these tactics seem passive aggressive. But they are good tools to combat rude people. Be careful of not turning this into normal conversational patterns you will turn into the rude person that you hate
I hope they are not passive-aggressive. I don't want to throw more darkness at darkness. They may be strong, but there's nothing passive about them, Jasonito. :)
Yes very logical responses to someone who is rude but a lot of these bullies are first rate narcissists or worse and this will have no affect on them . They will listen and state point blank something that has nothing to do with reality.
It feels like my eyes have been opened for the very first time in how to properly communicate with others. These are vital, life skills that should be taught to everyone. Growing up in school, I was always taught to make “I” statements instead of “you” statements when speaking to someone. It doesn’t work in real life as this video has brilliantly pointed out…. These kind of skills need to be taught at every grade and level in life so people don’t forget them.
Yes, rude comments are always the problem of the speaker. However, people who are on the receiving end need tools to deal with these comments, if they cannot just walk away--and many times they can't.
I love ❤️love ❤️ your style, your delivery, your art, and most importantly the vital information you present!! I stumbled across you two days ago and I am now in the middle of a Dan O'Connor RUclips binge! I imagine the next comment I will leave will be constructed much better😘! Thank you!
@@TheWizardOfWords " Online Communication Skills Training Courses "Within your hearing???" I would not be surprised if it were within her hearing. Some people are rude and quite bold about it!!
Thanks a lot, you did help. It looks like I must learn a trick or 2 to play with these jokers at my place. I got myself into very toxic place and until I’ll find something at least on the same level I must survive here and let me tell you, I have never been tested like this before 🥵
Dude... You are a godsent... Totally need this training... Im always finding myself in toxic situations at jobs and i always react the wrong and always looking like the bad guy despite the other person... Totally thankful for your content and looking forward to changing my narrative..
@@TheWizardOfWords No he used I words right? You told him not to use I words and yet ... you know, you're saying you're happy to help. For Pete's sake wise up.
The Wizard of Words rocks my world. Logical and intelligent phrases to deal with rude people. Plus, ways of thinking about how to respond, explained in a clear manner with realistic examples.
This helped me so much this older guy who is literally over 30 years older than me just disrespected me today and I have really bad anger issues I’m trying to control them better I said nothing but I wanted to know how to handle the situation better and defend myself but professionally.....great video
I absolutely love your approach to teaching how to deal with situations involving bullies and other toxic people. You make it less difficult to seek and receive your advice given that messed up human interactions are so do perplexing and painful for the recipient. Thank you for your clarity, wisdom, expressivness (your facial queues and body language are awesome!) and gentle humor. Despite my sad 7 year long frustrating situation with "my" bully, you make me belly laugh in the process of gaining valuable, excellent advice through your tutelage.
Your reinforcing words made my day, Kathryn, and my deepest wish is that in addition to providing a bit of amusement for you, I've helped you cope with that bully. :) :)
I love all of your videos, Dan.I totally appreciate you.I really have to learn these techniques because I'm working in a ridiculously un employee friendly workplace at the moment, and dealing with rude, uneducated, nasty people.I don't want to lose my temper, but its not easy.So thank you vert much for sharing your insights and skill!
How is it going so far? I have to deal with team mates that are horrible and all they seem to want to do is get people in trouble. So it would be awesome to hear your feedback.
@@karentladi7498 I'm so fed up at this point that I'm planning to find another job where I can use my talents and be appreciated and hopefully get paid more.Its very discouraging to know that its probably not going to improve unless a miracle happens.How about you?
Great info - thank you so much. The trick of course now is to re-watch this video regularly to check on your own progress in being a better communicator and practising the phrases and suggested words to use in these situations. Thank you for such valuable information.
Anita you are spot-on. Practice until this becomes second-nature. Many people have done so, and you can too. One quick scan of a video just isn't enough.
Thank you so so much! I have a... Work partner who seems to have a dramatic flair that really instigates me when they're tired or overwhelmed and they're famous for directing it at me. They really set me off track today so bad to the point where it's wrecked my evening. I need intel and I need it fast to get myself back on track. This is exactly what I need to know. Thanks again.
Somehow my phone knew my co-workers pissed me off today and recommended your video to me. I want to learn how to stop letting their collective misbehavior affect my mood so drastically. As the only female on the team, I sometimes wonder if I'm just too sensitive, but I can not keep up the energy to joke around and banter all the time.
It is likely their (your co-workers) toxic energies that are making you feel drained...You don't have to joke around and banter all the time. So don't feel initimidated or allow them to plant seeds that the negative or wrong going ons that you perceive are not real...They (and are) feeding off each other's mood and projecting onto you. Smoke and mirrors...You stand to defy that simply by not participating in their shenanigans. Just know that you are at the right place at the right time...Your integrity speaks volumes. I highly recommend that you find and print some affirmations regarding your integrity/responsiblites are...Keep them with you at work to say out loud (even quietly to yourself) and believe those things about yourself...Truth always prevails! BTW-If it helps, I work in a large car dealership that is mainly male-dominated.
![ARGENTINA vs. PERÚ [1-0] | RESUMEN | ELIMINATORIAS SUDAMERICANAS | FECHA 12](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/xtI25ENDDSY/mqdefault.jpg)
HEY MY FRIENDS: If these videos are having a positive impact on you, please show your support by becoming a CHANNEL MEMBER and/or clicking the THANKS BUTTON above and leaving a little love. A little love will allow me to continue delivering these videos directly to you!
No ... I mean if the bosses are ignorant none of this nonsense would help, you're either for them or against them and you know, I didn't find this video AT ALL helpful.
I love this channel & find it super helpful and effective in my life!
@@keplermission4947 he maid a point to not make it personal!!
@@keplermission4947 How could you pick sides? Honestly bosses always have bosses.... your either the type that speaks up or the type that gets rolled over..... I'm not the roll over type GRRR
Darn right!
Recurring issue for me is being bullied in the workplace. I just stay true to myself, allow my values to guide me, demonstrate integrity and remind myself that no one can rob me of my authenticity... which only seems to infuriate the bullies more. Why can't we all just leverage each other's strengths and work together?
Absolutely Aimee. All communication begins with remaining strong and true to yourself. In families, in cities, in schools in geo-politics--in EVERYTHING we should be appreciating one another's strengths and virtues rather than being frightened of differences. Being number one is not nearly so important as being one.
@Ange Lom I think we may have a few things in common... previous two partners were extremely narcissistic. But apparently highly sensitive, empathic people attract them so I put the responsibility on my own shoulders to educate myself. Then I can work on the things I do that send the message to these people that I'm an easy target. Each experience teaches me something. Only thing is, I find that it is like playing a video game... when you level up, the boss you need to defeat at the end is smarter, quicker and stronger than the last!
Media & TV & movies teach that hate, minute by minute. It's a very sick world.
Going through the same thing. Boss is so jealous that now she cant use, "She doesnt have a degree". I just got my Bachelor's last May and God Willing will graduate with my Master's this May. To rub it in instead of just being happy for me, she says, "Maybe I will go for my PHd". She doesnr want me to be equal ro her education wise because she always used it against me and now she is doing it to other co-workers. She is not a nice person
@@chilloften
James 1:19-20 ESV
“Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
My boss said something derogratory to me once. My back was to him at my desk. I paused a moment, stood up. turned to face him looking in his eyes. I said Don't you ever speak to me that way again. He got all red and apologized.
Excellent--desire to maintain boundaries and appropriate office comments outweighed fear of retaliation. Indicative of a very strong person. Kudos.
I've always used: I've been called worse by better. Works like a charm. And it always takes them a minute to realize they've been insulted back, tenfold.
If it works for you--
Finally someone that gives real useful tools to help. I work with very toxic people.
Much love to you - I’m glad you’re taking steps to not allow their behavior to affect how you feel & behave. We have the power to control our own body & mind, via the inner self, regardless of what’s happening on the outside of us, but many of us didn’t know that we even could. Dan has provided us with our User Manual. 💕😂
My husband was really stressed by toxic people at work (it seems like where there’s one, there are many more, it spreads), he told me one night that he was afraid it would cause him to have a heart attack.
A few months later, right before he quit, he went to get some dental work done and the dentist sent him to the ER - his BP was sky high - his doctor said he got to the hospital just in time. He was very close to having a heart attack or stroke, the EKG even appeared like he might have had a heart attack - but he didn’t.
Even though he knew how stressful it was, he didn’t realize just how bad it was until he quit and gained perspective. He’s fine now, BP is normal.
This channel is a ray of HOPE and SUNSHINE after 3 years of covert bullying from 2 people at an otherwise great workplace. In public these 2 women are all smiles b/c they know I have allies and support. In private they call me incompetent, give brutal critiques, and the latest was a poison pen letter (private of course) accusing me of massive improprieties ahead of being publicly acknowledged for my success on a project. I've cried my eyes out for the last time. IT STOPS NOW. I'm SO DONE. I'm practicing the techniques daily and am "locked and loaded" for the next bullying attack. Thank you again for making the world a better place one conversation at a time. Much love and blessings to you.
Many thanks for your taking the time to write, Queen. I hope these words help you going forward.
Excellent tactics! Having dealt with narcissist people they will try anything to put you on the defensive and that is a losing position! PLUS,I like your humor :)
“You don’t exist to me…let’s stay on track.” 😂😂😂😂😂! That is so powerful! I will however engage you if you are being constructive and respectful. Soooooo GOOD!
I need to get some glasses so I can take them on and off for dramatic effect. This is awesome
Omg exactly!!!
Wow...so perfect for the moment!
Finally, a crash course on Office Politics, Haters and Difficult People. Thank You !
Yes, don't ever feel rushed to respond to anything. Taking time, rather than immediately responding has power, it allows us to discern what is happening, and to not allow our emotions to respond, but it also allows others a few seconds to see through the rude comment just made, and some silence often gives the rude person pause to realize what they've just said, and also kind of gives them a "wonder warning" - especially if they're used to people reacting immediately to their rudeness - give them a few seconds or more of silence as a warning. It's like when someone says something really odd and everyone just stops, like, 'what just came out of your mouth'?
Enjoyed reading your comments. Excellent summary
@@Connie10000 Thank You, that's nice to hear. I make my sentences too long though, I need to use more periods.
@@SydMountaineer you do wonderful. You throw in some dashes & quotation marks which helps divide. On desktop compute, I'm better at catching my longer sentences--- removing some words. These silly cell phones...I need to PAUSE more before send >> to re-read. 😆
@@Connie10000😂😂😂 Yes, I know what you mean, as I’m usually on my cell phone.
I love this channel! Why am I just discovering this? I have difficulty defending myself without being confrontational; the phrase "Let's stay on track" is brilliant.
Some coworkers are just disgusting, I guess controlling one's temper is just the key,
Banks Euros !!! I guess that's one of the keys, yes. I appreciate you taking the time to comment, and I hope to see more of you.
@@TheWizardOfWords It's Ironic you said in your video never say d word I appreciate to anyone, and yourself not following
I'm nice all the time mostly and let myself get treated poorly because I'm not confident etc.
I had one outburst due to someone being awful (long story in a comment above lol).
She kept going so I let slip Mum had died (pathetic anyway as not the point). and she still wouldn't stop. I called her a name (remarkably restrained I thought) and banged a door.
Well the scheming bully must have realised I may have a case together (don't know if she's been pulled up but she does it to others..this is a nurse who works with people smdh). Despite being upset and wanting to take her to HR I wouldn't have done it. I expected us to sort it ourselves.
Long story shortish, evil genius involved the CEO and is sending me to HR with backup from 2 others, one a surgeon. She said I hit her but it's bullshit (not the point as point blank would never happen, I haven't heard of bruises etc ..touch wood she didn't already have). Put aside all the reason it is so ludicrous I'm still reeling, I'm clumsy with health problems so I'm dizzy and weak. I'm in by cleaners and kitchen staff, patients, families etc for being friendly and we (staff) agree we are invisible to some nurses and doctors so they know. Shit thing is, my outburst will be judged and a lying bully will get sympathy and even the cleaners etc may be turned.
So many come to work cranky and get away with it. I have a stupid but human response once and I'm screwed
Sorry for rant...seems to be nice people here that get it.
The workplace has become a dark alley. Managers love it.
In a lifetime I could not find clear examples on specifically how to defend oneself or a group from aggressive behaviours. Why? Virtually all mentors advise us to tell the aggressor how the attack makes us feel. I have tried that approach and not only does it not work on real bullies, but it reassures them their attacks are working. It is like telling a physical attacker that you don’t appreciate being knocked down. Sure, that works great. (Sarcasm.) Unchecked bullies can destroy a defenceless person’s self-esteem, damage their reputations, interfere with their career advancement, and make working a miserable affair. You provide doable behaviour options that some of us have desperately needed. Your teachings could on some levels save a person’s life. I admire and appreciate what you bring to all of us.
Wow, thank you for your story and your kind words, Prairie Dog. I'm doing my best, as most of us are and trying to make a positive difference--as most people do. We just need a little help from one another along the way.
Silence is golden just walk away regardless there's no one there to argue or listen it leaves them irritated and usually speechless 😶.
However sometimes you want to address the comment head-on.
EXCELLENT ADVICE! Some people really feed off of trying to push your buttons, and get under your skin. To stay calm, and not allow them to manipulate your emotions and reactions is excellent advice!
I honestly believe horrible bosses need to take responsibility for their own insecurities, aggressions & actions. I refuse to put up with passive aggressive attacks or statements insinuating untruths. It’s better to let go and move on to greener pastures, everyone has a right to work in a respectful and safe environment. Thank you for sharing, Dan. Keep well.
You're welcome Linette, and you keep well too!
I'm glad I found this guy he's really going to make me an alpha coworker
Same !
Very g9od and h3lpful Thanks
Thank you , this was a good reminder. Get very frustrated when toxic people keep coming back and don’t let go even when I try to deflect. Need to keep practicing, feel stressed when someone comes at my boundaries.
This guy is legit funny. Advice was good but the humor made it great.
When Tony Stark gives life advice.
Lol!
😂😂😂😂 I can't get over this....
Love it!
Yes, and still doing it. Since Iron Man is taken, could I be Tin Man??
@@TheWizardOfWords HA HA HA HA!
I like how you deflected the negativity and simultaneously didn’t validate/take the bait of the asshole at the same time. Very brilliant. You are demonstrating how to be human Teflon!!
My boss has been practicing bully for years. You can use these wonderful counterattacks against her but then suddenly, bam! she comes out with a whole new bully tactic. I am going to have to do a lot of research so I am properly armed for any aggressive/passive aggressive behaviors she tries to throw at me.
My former boss was a bully. Add to that the fact that he was 6' 9" tall and the intimidation factor was huge. (No pun intended)
It finally drove me to early retirement because nobody in the corporation would help me.
Finally, after so much turn over of good people at that location he was fired.
I have learn the hard way; when you control and manage yourself the rest of the world go to hell! For me it works to remain silent, don’t react , give them a quick confident look and focus back on your work; it cracks them!
Tried that but then was called passive aggressive!😂
There are some toxic workers out there that will literally take what you say and twist it around through shady gossip
Media jobs are home to "The Impossible People". When mixed with a public sector environment such as a university setting, you have situations that defy any of the categories you talk about.
Thank you so much! I’m a sensitive person. Finding the right words can be hard in the moment. This helps me find my power.
Happy to help JRav.
Wow. Great video. I have made the mistake of talking about how hurt I felt, making myself vulnerable. Huge mistake. Trying to come back from that now.
Thanks, Esmerelda; I hope this video helps.
True ppl are work see it as weak…. Sucks but that’s corporate life. Now one should be ur therapist at work but ppls feeling so matter so let’s say “it’s troubling”
Dude has great points and his delivery is cracking me up🤣🤣
Thanks, JP.
High respect for the stunning response: pause, sip of drink...raised hand (no eye contact)...now what was I doing?..Lets stay focused. This content is GOLD. Thank you! Thank you!...Especially with the holidays coming....
Keep an eye out for holiday videos; they're coming.
I need a videos like this for dealing with a narcissistic BF.. ASAP... THIS is SOOO GOOD!
You may have a narcissist or you may just have unhealthy boundaries. One clue is how often you seem to run into narcissists.
Excellent advice when dealing with people who are narcissistic. Keep in mind some have Autism spectrum conditions and they might appear rude, they just are honest ( most part) and are transparent.
This video shall teach people how to deal with difficult persons
You are my spirit animal. Best advice ever. I actually love it when people try it on with me. It’s like sport.
Many thanks. I will adapt this approach to deal with the misogynistic, narcissistic bully, in the retirement home, who is extremely worried about his image - rushes about doing nice things for people ,when he has an audience, and is verbally abusive and insulting for no apparent reason, to some females.
I hear this so often from the medical community and people who work with the vulnerable. It is truly discouraging to see bullies anywhere, but ESPECIALLY in this environment.
I really appreciate this. And it does work in any situation or conflict. Don’t make it personal. Make it about the person displaying the bad behavior.
You got it.
This is so very helpful to me. I have had a very difficult time as i am autistic and i just found out at 53. My work relationships have always been extremely problematic as my bosses have used my "hyper-skills" and then my coworkers seem to hate me for it. All the while i have kept thinking it would help further me socially 😢
I am finally learning ❤
Very happy to help, Angela :)
When you say "hyper-skills" do you mean? Do you overachieve in the workplace due to getting more done than your co-workers and that's why they hate you for it?
Do you do more work because the boss noticed you're ahead of the team and then the boss abused the situation and has given you additional work to get done? Then turns around and uses your spurt of work "energy" against the co-workers because you have a strength the others do not?
I had this happen to me in the workplace. One girl had so much energy for one night drawing labs, that she expected and put pressure on the rest of us, why couldn't we get 9 lab draws an hour?
Needless to say, I never once hated the girl that was able to achieve 9 draws an hour in just that one night. I was impressed. I was sourly disappointed in the manager for holding such an extreme standard for the rest of us to achieve. That was terrible.
"Never defend anything." My boss often gets fixated on giving negative criticism about me during performance appraisal. As the boss relates past situations to point out those negatives, my boss gets lost in commenting about my other co-worker's negatives. I end up analyzing the situation with my boss and giving ideas how to understand others and even suggest possible solutions.
My initial anxiety turned to a sense of relief! I wasn't really the problem. It's my boss who needs someone to help solve problems.
Happy you discovered that the problem is not you, grandjette.
Thank you for this excellent video! I’m always learning how to better express my feelings in a professional but firm way and in practice your strategies work 99.9% of the time. As a younger manager who usually has to manage people who are significantly older than I am sometimes they don’t respect my position and your magic phrases along with lots of other strategies that you have talked about have helped me settle a lot of issues and shut down inappropriate language. Keep up the excellent work!!
As an older person, it is very difficult to respect being ordered to do things by someone who could be your grandchild.You'll understand one day.But it also depends on the person.If you are rude and on a power trip, no one respects you , no matter what age you are.
Ouch.. the eye went up and “let’s stay on track”. I love it
Oh my gosh, you are my hero! I had horrible role models throughout my childhood, who used violence to communicate. As soon as I learned that others don’t behave that way, I KNEW I didn’t want to do what I learned. The sad thing is that I never learned the right way to replace my old patterns. You actually have the precise lessons I’ve needed forever!
Many thanks, Rachel. And for a deeper dive into this type of communication, go to danoconnortraining.com and check out the courses.
I'm a bartender. I can use this to handle drunken misbehavior by my customers without damaging my place of works good reputation. Thank you.
Happy to help.
Man I love this guy.. so quick, so witty !
I am freaking out. I am transitioning into a management position at my job. I will be managing the most lackadaisical people to ever walk the earth. I've been working with them for 2.5 years and rather than improving, they remain stagnant. They have so much potential, but I am not really sure how to get them to find value in their work and understand how impactful their contributions are to the team. I've subscribed to your channel because I think you can help me be an effective manager. Thank you for sharing your tricks of the trade. 👍🏻👏👍🏻👏
Francesca Charles try to read John C Maxwell leadership books
@@shonazef7351 Thank you. I will pick up a copy this week. 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
Work on them. Individually,,, find each person button
This is beautiful! I've had the luxury of being my own boss all of my life, thank goodness! These are still good things to remember in general. There's always going to be someone, somewhere who displays behavior that needs to be called out or put in their place. Thank you!
I'm a non-native English speaker, and I'm loving your videos because the advice is so good but also because you speak in a clear and eloquent manner. I want to learn from that. 💕💕💕Thank you
The Wizard of Words is simply on ANOTHER level. Certainly among my TOP recent discoveries!
Happy to hear that, Cleonemusician!
I love 💕 this! I’m soft spoken and want to learn more about how I can express my feelings without being emotional and be more professional. I’m setting my bell 🔔 on! Hehe Thank You 🙏🏼
Me too! Xoxo
Me too
Where have you been all my life Dan O'Conner, this is Absolutely Invaluable information, Thank you looking for 2 more.
As an autistic person I find this idea very helpful for communicating with others. I normally practice scripts for day to day interactions with normal people I come into contact with. Thank you for your sharing these tools
Very very happy to be of help, Fran.
I love this channel because when your going to college online. It can be amazing how rude younger people can be so it's nice to have an appropriate come back.
I like this style! The best part about doing things the way that as described here is that you don't stoop to the level of the rude person. Other people will notice that also. Remain calm, keep your wits... and win with self control. That's the biggest insult to someone who is trying to bring you down. Your response is their power. Don't let them have it.
You are the King of putting people in check...professionally. #Love
OH WOW! Finally I have confirmation that saying “I appreciate that...” is the worst ! It flicks a switch in me when someone says it and yet so many are using it!!😡 Start the revolution! ✊
I have had to leave so many jobs because of bullying and harassment. I'm so glad for your channel! My current boss is not scheduling me for the hours l was hired in at. It's a nightmare.
I am practicing this I took great notes now I’m not angry I have powerful tools under my belt this difficult person was sent to me as a blessing.I can now have more grace and mercy on other people because I’m sure to someone I have also been difficult
Another great example of this is an interview with Russell Brand, where he demonstrates the manners he wishes to also be shown. He transforms a moment of controversy into a proactive flip of the script. Brilliant!
I want him to follow me around and speak for me for a day! I can learn 'during' the issue, not prior to. He is amazing and fun to listen to. I would hate to be on the other end of his 'disappointment' though!
I'll go with you if you pick up the check :) :)
You killed this shit man!!!! Omg so helpful. Like that biting yet polite demeanor that impresses onlookers and stops the bad guy in his tracks. Been looking for this
If I am dealing with a very difficult person I will alway look them dead straight in the eyes and proceed to tell him/her what I think then I walk away 💯👍
If you've found what is effective for you, by all means use it :)
Fantastic video. I was harrased at work by my boss. Ended with a heart attack, hair loss. Changed jobs I am happier and hair came back.
Omigod, I hope I can help going forward--if you ever have similar challenges again--which I hope you don't.
Wow. These are the practical phrases i needed. I just defended myself at work last week when a coworker was rude and i walked away feeling somehow like I managed to look worse than the rude coworker. Thanks for the tips!
Hey Dan...Would you please consider making a video about confronting workplace gossip both when people are gossiping about you and how to discourage it in others? Thank you.
THAT IS A VIDEO MUCH NEEDED.but even a believer in God it's never gonna work on the devils playground.my work is so abusive I have no choice and gods answer is clear.bide my time then do what is needed.inflation is why I'm stuck.or I'd of left.today I was attacked scratched choked with my shirt and everyone gossips and it's always my fault.not a victim....but this drama I'm up against all men who do not act right.drinks at lunch.i mean help god.
The moment when you take a drink... the look afterwards. Priceless!!❤
Stunning! I always get upset when coworkers are rude. I should always always be careful of how I address these situations, because some people talk in a way of wanting to physically attack another.
I believe this information will help me. Thank you.
Great Chantall, and please share my channel with your friends!
Love that your work skips the blah blah blah explanations, excuses, justifications, labels, and background drama - You’re just like “Handle that, Honey. Here’s how:”
Thank you!!
It’s like being able to fast forward through genuinely otherwise valuable psychobabble and just get the desired effect in the moment without wasting time getting lost in a backlog of post-offense analysis.
Seriously. Thank you!
Thank you! I am a mental heath addiction therapist and I work with a staff member who is very difficult and inappropriate on a number of levels. This helped!!! Thank you so much Mr. O’Connor.
I wish I could remember these in the heat of the moment
Practice practice practice. These are learned phrases/techniques/responses and they require practice.
I wish I had this in my tool belt a few weeks ago. The sales manager implied that one of my coworkers was problematic because he's gay. I was taken aback by his comment to me and didn't know how to respond. My coworker does have many problems, but it's certainly not because he's gay. I wish I could go back and say something like this to him to make him very aware that what he said was not okay. I know for the future at least!! Thank you!
You'll be ready next time, Anna :)
I love you!! 😆I needed this so much!! Thank you!!! A stop and a block.. Yes!!
I love the phrases & words Dan uses to describe certain things like "Duct Tape Phrases" and the names like Rudy for rude people - so fitting & appropriate. Plus, it truly makes these techniques easier to remember, and also helps to identify & discern situations.
The fact that RUclips knew I had an interaction at work yesterday by recommending this today is sending me 😂 I love everything you brought.
The woman brought up my perfume, which I wear everyday and was never brought up. Not ever. Before she mentioned it, she was giving me dirty looks throughout the day and I just acted very neutral. After she came to me I was was pleasant and just walked away.
I hope you subscribed Graffiti, because there is much more to come :)
That’s one of O’Connor’s best tip bc it can be applied anytime i encounter toxic people ;)
Thank you Jay. Maybe I should call these "O'Connor's Tips." Yes, I think I will.
I need to listen to this morning, noon and night ..... and at my job i might just sneak a few listens here and there!!❤❤❤🎉 subscribed!!
Thanks for the listening and the subscribing. Now please--sharing :)
I am shook. I LOVE the head shake. And then stay on track. You MUST make a video series with other actors so we can see you shine on screen !!!!
Naaaaah. Other actors might upstage me. Easier just to play all the parts. :) :) :)
I’m so grateful I found you 🙏🏼 I’m empathetic and kind, and tend to end up in situations where an overbearing narc is questioning my work or trying to put me in a situation where I am unnecessarily expected to apologize to him. I now know an appropriate response to his aggressive words, thank you so very much.
You are welcome, Nicole.
My fantasy of telling a coworker off has always began with "I'd APPRECIATE!"...thank you for correcting me!
You are a phenomenal speaker and have a clear, organized, intelligent and personable way of delivering valuable, empowering, confidence building communication skills that I didn't know I lacked until I stumbled onto your channel through a person who requested to be friends on FB whom I don't even know. Unexpected but beneficial outcome and I subscribed to your channel. Thank you. You're very wise
Wow, thank you! Please share these videos, Heather :)
I had a boss that would come off condescending... It was only my 2nd or 3rd week there, but in general she was a rude one. She told me "If employees work the way you do none of us would have jobs."
I told her "You're Site Coordinator... so how about you start coordinating your site?"
She replied "How about you dont tell me how to do my job!"
I replied "I'm doing a shit job but at least I'm doing it."
She gave the nastiest look. I didnt see it but I sure as hell felt it 😂😂😂😂
I mean it’s also in her name description.Some people think they are more than that and end up not doing their own job title. I’m glad you stood up for yourself and taught her a lesson.😊
Some of these tactics seem passive aggressive. But they are good tools to combat rude people. Be careful of not turning this into normal conversational patterns you will turn into the rude person that you hate
I hope they are not passive-aggressive. I don't want to throw more darkness at darkness. They may be strong, but there's nothing passive about them, Jasonito. :)
Yes very logical responses to someone who is rude but a lot of these bullies are first rate narcissists or worse and this will have no affect on them . They will listen and state point blank something that has nothing to do with reality.
It feels like my eyes have been opened for the very first time in how to properly communicate with others. These are vital, life skills that should be taught to everyone. Growing up in school, I was always taught to make “I” statements instead of “you” statements when speaking to someone. It doesn’t work in real life as this video has brilliantly pointed out…. These kind of skills need to be taught at every grade and level in life so people don’t forget them.
I agree Joe. Totally.
I look at it like this. If someone has a problem with me and they won't tell me what I did to upset them then it's their problem not mine.
Yes, rude comments are always the problem of the speaker. However, people who are on the receiving end need tools to deal with these comments, if they cannot just walk away--and many times they can't.
I love ❤️love ❤️ your style, your delivery, your art, and most importantly the vital information you present!! I stumbled across you two days ago and I am now in the middle of a Dan O'Connor RUclips binge! I imagine the next comment I will leave will be constructed much better😘! Thank you!
Binge away Jennifer and thank you for a flattering post. My head just grew well beyond my hat-size.
Today a staff member was disrespectful and referred to me as an old thing. The shock of the inappropriateness shocked me. Thank you for help.
Within your hearing??? Or was this repeated to you? Unbelievable.
@@TheWizardOfWords "
Online Communication Skills Training Courses
"Within your hearing???" I would not be surprised if it were within her hearing. Some people are rude and quite bold about it!!
Thank you, Mr. Wizard of Words ! You’re like an ally or best friend everyone needs in their corner 😊❤
I love you man, I had so many sleepless nights because of jerks at work and this is great strategy 😍
Thanks, Race. I hope I can help with those sleepless nights.
Thanks a lot, you did help. It looks like I must learn a trick or 2 to play with these jokers at my place. I got myself into very toxic place and until I’ll find something at least on the same level I must survive here and let me tell you, I have never been tested like this before 🥵
I could listen and watch you all day😉
Boy I wish I had YOU for a mother (or father?) !!! :) :) :)
OMG WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!!! MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE BECAUSE OF YOUR TEACHING
You'll find me RIGHT HERE and I hope you come back often, Shereka :)_
Dude... You are a godsent... Totally need this training... Im always finding myself in toxic situations at jobs and i always react the wrong and always looking like the bad guy despite the other person... Totally thankful for your content and looking forward to changing my narrative..
You're welcome, Austin, and I'm happy to help.
@@TheWizardOfWords No he used I words right? You told him not to use I words and yet ... you know, you're saying you're happy to help. For Pete's sake wise up.
The Wizard of Words rocks my world. Logical and intelligent phrases to deal with rude people. Plus, ways of thinking about how to respond, explained in a clear manner with realistic examples.
Well thank you for that summary, Ms. Green.
Oh this is by far my favourite. I’m storing that in my brain. Thank you thank you thank you!
This guys communication skills are off the charts.
They should teach this stuff in Schools.
Love the phrase communication freeloader lol 😂😂😂
Amen
This helped me so much this older guy who is literally over 30 years older than me just disrespected me today and I have really bad anger issues I’m trying to control them better I said nothing but I wanted to know how to handle the situation better and defend myself but professionally.....great video
Thank you Dan. You help me stay on track.
Control your self dear,, be strategic and ready
I just discovered this channel today. You are amazing!!
Thanks. I hope you subscribed and then pressed the "join" button.
Awesome knowledge. I am dealing with a colleague who points at me and speaks rudely.
Now I'll apply these ideas.
Great Rishi. Let me know how that works for you. Dan
I absolutely love your approach to teaching how to deal with situations involving bullies and other toxic people. You make it less difficult to seek and receive your advice given that messed up human interactions are so do perplexing and painful for the recipient. Thank you for your clarity, wisdom, expressivness (your facial queues and body language are awesome!) and gentle humor. Despite my sad 7 year long frustrating situation with "my" bully, you make me belly laugh in the process of gaining valuable, excellent advice through your tutelage.
Your reinforcing words made my day, Kathryn, and my deepest wish is that in addition to providing a bit of amusement for you, I've helped you cope with that bully. :) :)
I love all of your videos, Dan.I totally appreciate you.I really have to learn these techniques because I'm working in a ridiculously un employee friendly workplace at the moment, and dealing with rude, uneducated, nasty people.I don't want to lose my temper, but its not easy.So thank you vert much for sharing your insights and skill!
How is it going so far? I have to deal with team mates that are horrible and all they seem to want to do is get people in trouble.
So it would be awesome to hear your feedback.
@@karentladi7498 I'm so fed up at this point that I'm planning to find another job where I can use my talents and be appreciated and hopefully get paid more.Its very discouraging to know that its probably not going to improve unless a miracle happens.How about you?
Even educated people are rude and nasty and condescending. Those are the worst ones.
Great info - thank you so much. The trick of course now is to re-watch this video regularly to check on your own progress in being a better communicator and practising the phrases and suggested words to use in these situations. Thank you for such valuable information.
Anita you are spot-on. Practice until this becomes second-nature. Many people have done so, and you can too. One quick scan of a video just isn't enough.
The workplace needs someone like you to check everyone! The Wizard of Words is such a great name for a channel.
Thank you CA2SD. I don't want to check everyone, but I certainly would like to reach everyone :) :)
Thank you so so much! I have a... Work partner who seems to have a dramatic flair that really instigates me when they're tired or overwhelmed and they're famous for directing it at me. They really set me off track today so bad to the point where it's wrecked my evening. I need intel and I need it fast to get myself back on track. This is exactly what I need to know. Thanks again.
Happy to have helped, Andrew :)
Somehow my phone knew my co-workers pissed me off today and recommended your video to me. I want to learn how to stop letting their collective misbehavior affect my mood so drastically. As the only female on the team, I sometimes wonder if I'm just too sensitive, but I can not keep up the energy to joke around and banter all the time.
It is likely their (your co-workers) toxic energies that are making you feel drained...You don't have to joke around and banter all the time. So don't feel initimidated or allow them to plant seeds that the negative or wrong going ons that you perceive are not real...They (and are) feeding off each other's mood and projecting onto you. Smoke and mirrors...You stand to defy that simply by not participating in their shenanigans. Just know that you are at the right place at the right time...Your integrity speaks volumes. I highly recommend that you find and print some affirmations regarding your integrity/responsiblites are...Keep them with you at work to say out loud (even quietly to yourself) and believe those things about yourself...Truth always prevails! BTW-If it helps, I work in a large car dealership that is mainly male-dominated.