How to Deal with Critical People Using Power Phrases + Body Language Tactics | Communication Skills
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- Опубликовано: 22 июл 2024
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In this professional communication training video, you'll learn How to Deal with Critical People Using Power Phrases + Body Language Tactics | Communication Skills. Specifically, communication expert and communication coach Dan O'Connor will teach you how to deal with "the saboteur." The saboteur is a type of critic you'll find both at work and at home. If you've been taken off-guard by this critic, watch this video, follow Dan's advice, and it will never happen again.
Are you tired of difficult people getting the best of you, ruining your day, attacking you at work, or making your life miserable? Don't quit your job--instead, quit letting them get the best of you, and let professional communication skills expert, author, RUclipsr, and keynote speaker Dan O'Connor show you what to do so the next time you meet the critic, you'll have the right words to shut them down and feel good about the mindful way in which you did it.
There are three common critics you'll find both at work and at home. In upcoming episodes, you'll learn about the messenger and the prophet. Make sure to subscribe here and at Dan's website at www.danoconnortraining.com to be updated. #dangerphrases #handlingdifficultpeople #criticalpeople #criticalpeople #powerphrases
1:13 Let's play what would you say
1:43 Criticism #1
2:01 Criticism #2
3:04 Danger Phrase #1
3:36 Power Phrase #2
3:53 Non-verbal Cue #1
4:03 Non-verbal Cue #2
4:41 Establishing the Rules of Engagement and the Laws of Power
5:17 Power Phrases #3
6:01 Power Phrases #4
7:34 Power Phrases #5
7:54 More non-verbal cues
8:11 Danger Phrase #2
8:41 What does it mean to be an assertive communicator?
Please subscribe to Dan's RUclips channel for all his free online communication training: goo.gl/VJdWKi
If you want more professional communication training online, with topics that include body language secrets, dealing with difficult people, speaking with power, tact, and finesse, developing a personal compass, effective customer service skills, making presentations, closing the sale and much more, you've found it. To see all of Dan's products, and to claim your free book and/or training kit and to learn how to improve communication skills, go to Dan's website:
www.danoconnortraining.com/
Dan can be reached at dan@danoconnortraining.com. You can learn more about him and his training on his website, www.DanOConnorTraining.com, or you can call him at 877-570-1573 701-205-4141 if calling from outside the US.
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HEY MY FRIENDS: If these videos are having a positive impact on you, please show your support by becoming a CHANNEL MEMBER and/or clicking the THANKS BUTTON above and leaving a little love. A little love will allow me to continue delivering these videos directly to you!
When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
Thank you
"It's like you're lifting the veil, and saying, "I see you." to the man behind the curtain. Nice Wizard of Oz poster. :)
I love this comment.
Dan, I listen to your channel for two specific people in my life. For one, I can almost feel my limpy backbones calcify into a spine AND for the other person, I’m learning how to listen and speak with love. Thank you so much!!!
Outstanding advice. Wish I had access to this when I was working. Since retirement, the toughest critic I have is myself.
How do you know if there the difficult person or you are different oppoion
Dan let me be the only one to say this.
That red Shirt is Fly AF. You look great in that.
Oh yes you are speaking truth Dan I've dealt with people like this using passive aggressiveness towards me and they love giving backhanded compliments and starting drama .
Damn I would hate to verbally spar with you… LOL I forgot how good this channel is. I need to make sure I keep coming back!!! Thank you
AZ Battle School turn on your notifications 😊 It’s interesting to me that I receive each one right when I need that specific guidance
Please tell that to my brother Marty. He's made it his life's work to spar with me. And he's bigger than I am.
Online Communication Skills Training Courses haha thank you!!!
@@TheWizardOfWords How many O Connor siblings are there?
@@MK-ih6wp Just Marty and I--and my mother says that is more than enough :) Marty is ten months older than I am. I'm going to have him on live in December when he comes here for a visit.
What an attractive and well spoken man
Once again I have to tell you Mom that you aren't fooling anyone. Good grief.
This is what I learned from your video. People don't give out free advise. They also don't give out really good information unless they love them. If it's not being given with love, then they are just dumping some garbage on you. So just ask yourself, is this message coming from a place of love? If not, you can uncover the hidden motive. Once again, really great information. :-) Thank you for sharing the video.
In my personal communication style, I always want to come from a place of love 💕.
Yes, coming from a place of love--you can forgive mistakes if they are made by someone who is loving. Ask any parent. :)
Thanks Trix, I live for the advice you give me so I can re-evaluate my unguided life. Now I can truly focus on what will please and complete you.
That's a pretty funny bit of sarcasm, there, Tom M.
Tom, this is an absolute gem!!!! Keeping this sarcastic retort in my hip pocket for "just such an emergency" (foghorn leghorn voice).
Dan...... you are the best....and funny...... even though I really seek the communication skills you share.....I am also crazy entertained with your sarcasm. You make my day!!!!
Great stuff, Dan! Love your recommendations for how to handle the saboteur. Keep up the great work!
Beyond Assertiveness training. Thank you! 🙏🏻
I absolutely LOVE you! You make the thought of dealing with these people fun! And I love your humor! So glad I subscribed! Thank you so much! I know someone who gets walked on regurally and have been trying to coach this 20 something person for awhile now, but never got to far. You do it so perfectly and quickly that it is easy to understand and explain your message! Thank you again!
Techniques are top of the list, friend. One of your most POWERFUL videos! ❤ this Dan! Thank you!
I love your info & presentation! Thank you so much ❤️
I love that. I find that to be true instead of I think, because people don't realize that is what you actually know, they I want to treat you like you're guessing.
Digging the wizard of oz reference. My favorite movie!
I'm loving all your videos Dan. I came across them looking for help with a difficult coworker.
I really need the help on being more assertive in my life and now I find myself watching your videos daily.
Cool, thanks. Happy Campers. I'm here to help you be assertive, while also being mindful. Together we can change the global dialogue, one conversation at a time.
Yup spot on. My coworker is unbelievably all of these!
Where have you and these answers been all my life ive been searching for it --just discovered your channel a few hours ago and am binge watching and hearing everything ive felt and said and looked for --finally someone gets why using it statements etc dont work and actually feel like shit bc youre absorbing the negative energy etc their attacking you with and doesnt protect your heart mind and soul-- ive worked so hard to find and figure things out and am sure the fact that you get all these nuances means thatyouve faced the harassment and bullying levels all your life that i have or more bc we learn these things not bc we want to but bc we have to to protect ourselves--and im so grateful that youre sharing all this--you definitely are gifted in understanding and are a brilliant empath and i cant even express how much i appreciate you and your efforts to lead and direct all of us in raising above hate leading with empathy etc and protecting ourselves from the haters in the process
Many thanks for your note, Amanda :). And I'll be RIGHT HERE going forward--here and at danoconnortraining.com
I have really loved watching your videos in the past month or so. Learning so much and you are so fun to watch. Thanks so much!
Thank you so much, Lisa!
yea, wish I'd found you when I was much younger! you've helped a lot but... if only I'd heard your great advice back then!
Wonderful, Dan! Really looking forward to hearing about the prophet. Have a bunch of those in my life 😓
I love your sass! Ive learned I can’t take anyone else’s advice because I personally can’t relate to them as much as I can relate to you. Werq!
Hey A C: One reason you might take the training/thoughts/solutions/advice I offer is that it is not directed personally and specifically at YOU as an unsolicited critique. As I explained to the woman who believes me to be a misogynist who commits mental violence against women (ahem), advice is empty, hollow, and a waste of time if it is NOT solicited and if it comes from a place of "righteousness." In other words, if someone is judging you or your work and you didn't WANT the critique or comments, you won't be open to them--even from a boss or parent. Two elements of advice being accepted would be: The person receiving it solicits it (which you do by coming here to see whats up), and the person receiving it perceives that the advice comes from a place of love, concern and compassion--and a desire to see the recipient do well.
STOP BY AT 3:00 CENTRAL FOR THE LIVE SHOW. I've checked the internet and it actually looks as though it's a GO so spread the word.
Dan
Lol! I love your videos!! Hilarious and so helpful! Keep it coming! 😄
Great stuff -- I love the body check and the way you explain that we teach others how to communicate with us. Bonus points for invoking the Rapture and turning over tables in the temple. 😅
This advice is awesome!!!! Thanks so much. Don't ever go away 😁🤸♀️❤🤸♀️🤸♀️🤸♀️🤸♀️🤸♀️
Well at least I know THIS message is not from my mother. She spent most of my childhood telling me to go away . . . . :)
You are so spot on! LOVE THIS!😂
The late great Haim Ginott spoke about the importance of describing, versus judging...as it invites anxiety. People who criticize were often themselves criticized & judged by important people in childhood. The book "Between Parent and Child" by Ginott is a real sanity saver for all. Thank you for the aid your videos bring.
You're welcome, Kim, and thanks for the Ginott tip.
I was really lucky to find this channel.I learned alot of things in dealing people who are rude etc....Thank you so much.
You're very welcome, Gemmae.
Dan
Dan, you have made such a difference in my communication style with your tips and examples. At work especially, but with family too. Thank you for sharing your valuable gift with the world!
Happy to help!
So much wisdom in your videos!! Thank you !!
Glad you like them!
I love this channel! You are powerful and highly intelligent! This account shows you can have power through tactfulness rather than brute strength and violence 🧘🏿♀️
Absolutely, domtheedonn. Tact, finesse, mindfulness--and not violence and name-calling, is a winning and powerful communication strategy.
Hi dan , I’ve recently been watching your videos . And I’d like to thank you so much for you sharing all your amazing content . I’ve been in situations where I’m sometimes to slow to respond in time when I’m presented with critical people . And I end up thinking of what I should have said 5 minutes later .
Hi Wayne: I hope you've found a few scripts, solutions, words you can practice so you're prepared next time. You'd be amazed what a little practice before a mirror can do to help you when the next difficult person appears.
I loved this!!!
Brilliant, well explained and with my sense of humour! Love it.
Thanks, James. I hope you subscribed--and please share these videos.
Great video, Thank you so much 🙏
Thanks you thank you. I can't stand these expert harassers. This helps to know their plan.
I really do enjoy watching your content. I'm a new subscriber but your already fast becoming my favourite channel here. Thank you.
Well that's a misnomer. There is NOTHING silly about you, Girl!
Oh my God I Don't get tired of saying you are amazing Good with all this information!!. Can you give an advice on how to handle someone with an terrible attitude, such as patronizing, and kind like arrogant People! Thanks Dan!
You are the best!! 👍🙏
Thanks Ade, and check around other videos. I deal with arrogant and patronizing people in my difficult people videos. Remember one thing: Most patronizing and arrogant people are masking insecurity. It is not really that THEY think they are above other people. They are trying desperately to convince OTHER PEOPLE that they (the arrogant people) are superior. It sometimes helps to understand where others are coming from. Having said that, there are several techniques for dealing with them, and you'll find a number of them smattered throughout my RUclips videos and online courses (which you're welcome to peruse at danoconnortraining.com)
Fantastic advice
Wow! This lesson is chock-full of goodies! I love your videos! Thank you so much Dan! I unfortunately, work with some nasty "know it all" sharks who are "boss wanna-be's." This information will be helpful.
I know this video is 4 years old but I just discovered your channel and I am absolutely in love with it! You have the best personality your videos are extremely insightful and informative and you get the information across in the best way possible I could not be more thrilled to have been introduced to this thank you for imparting your wisdom and humor with all of us!!
Many thanks for your testimonial, Nicole. You'll find videos much older and you'll find one done yesterday. Hopefully the messages all have meaning for you.
@@TheWizardOfWords Absolutely! I'm really glad you're still posting! I work as a 911 operator at a PD in an extremely high stress environment. I don't know how much knowledge you have of police culture within departments (in addition to interacting and working with Fire and EMS) and the unique challenges we face with all the moving parts, stress, authority, power struggles, ego etc...but I'd love to hear your thoughts and advice if so! I've already been able to apply some of your suggestions and they've worked very well. Keep up the good work!
Well said.
Your commentary and delivery is 💪..!!! Glad I stumbled upon your channel..👀👂👣 Very informative..👍👏
Welcome aboard! Thank you and please like and share at will.
Great insight: valuable advice is not free!
I agree, so I hope you sign up as a member, Alice :).ruclips.net/channel/UC5Zb02pmVD2VA7lnx8mV4gwjoin
You’re smoothly powerful. I love your videos.
Lisa, thank you for that compliment. "Smoothly powerful" hopefully means effective while being mindful of the needs of others. I think it should be the communication goal of every one of us. Sometimes we hit the mark. And sometimes we don't. But we should always be aiming to hit the mark.
Your skin looks great! Lookin good Dan!
Thank you!!
You're welcome, maeie4.
I LOVE your personality
Please tell that to my mother.
*Power stares* I Learn Things.
It's love. Wish there was a double like option, one thumb just isn't enough for this one.
This is awesome
I love you madly 💞💗 Thank you 🙏
I actually had an aunt Rose. Lol
Thanks!
Many thanks to YOU, Paul :). Dan
OMG so happy I found you!
I look forward to a long-lasting relationship, Pamela. I'm happy we found each other. :)
Thanks you thanks you thank you!
I had some health issues and needed a refresh on this. Still I can't stand these situations. 😂
Love it
I wish I found your videos years ago 😊 thank you.
Lmaoooooo 🤣🤣 ‘since you said it, I thought I’d tell you.’ You’re freaking awesome Dan, dare I say I love you? 💕❤️ 🙌😘🎉🌸🎋🍀 thank you so much for your valuable advice!!
Sure! And I love you too Natalia! And all your little emojis :)
This is so damn true.
This channel is actually so good lol
Thank you. Let me be frank wih you: I LOVE that smile of yours!
You can be frank with me anytime, Charlene :)
Hi Dan, thank you for your excellent advice and I love your sassiness. It makes me laugh and I so need that at times trying to deal with toxic boss. I'd love to say exactly as you say, but I think I'd have to dumb it down here in Ireland. Any suggestions?
Take my words and make them your own, Catherine. You're Irish; you can do anything!
"Thanks, Trixie, for the offer, but I got this / want to do it my way / want to do it on my own."
"Thanks, a lot, Aunt Rose, but I got this."
Jerks will respond "you don't"
@@azmomconnection then you can reply: "well, if I feel I am failing, I know there is a wise person like you I can come to for advice" ...most people will get the sarcasm ;)
Trixie. Lol I like his made up names
Great comebacks.
Thanks Roger!
😂 I can do that! If I don't fall over laughing when I say it! Thanks!😉👍♥️
You can do it! :)
Hi Dan
I find myself in the position of inspecting and trying to get the staff to pick up the pace. Some people are wonderful housekeepers. Others seem unable to follow a routine. They take longer to complete their route and it shows. The customers, the teachers, are unhappy. These random staff members really dislike my comments. I need suggestions for improvements. Of course, who wants to hear their behavior is unacceptable. I know I don’t. The relationship has gone south. I am not the only desperate staff who has tried to communicate with is person who cannot seem to follow a routine. This is classroom cleaning. The quickest routine is: pull the trash, redline the container. Wipe down all horizontal surfaces. Clean the floor. Turn out the lights and close the door. Do the same thing in the next classroom. Of course there are other items to clean, however perhaps that could come later once the above routine is learned and mastered. The fliting from
One room to another, never completing each room. I thought I was loving in the 3 step routine delivery, but apparently not. How do I fix this?
Thank you
A
Rose: "How do you like a little free advice?"
Me: "And how do you like the lunch that I didn’t finish? It's also little, it's also free?"
Good answer :) :)
I looooved Rose’s impression Hahahahah
Excellent! Another one I must listen to a few times. I am going to practice e the pregnant blink the rest of the day first. "Elasticless underwear?" I adore you for being so real. Me thinks you have endured as much catty, negative, resentful people as I have. You have learned from it. I am stuck blaming myself for thinking there was something about me that invited it. But, that is too much information. You aren't my therapist. Not YET anyway.
Throughout my life I have seen the behavior of other people as about them, and my behavior as about me. I would never endure "catty, negative, resentful people." I would leave their company and seek out people who add joy and peace to my life. We bring much grief to ourselves by giving people power over us. We don't have to do that. It is not good for us and it is not good for them.
@@TheWizardOfWords Exactly! That is why I have left the mainstream community and gone celibate. My only concern is workplace and you have given excellent advice.
Aunt Rose is quite hilarious , I must say.
I really like you! Rare for me! Ha!Your training is unique and just... good stuff!
Daaaamn I'm gonna be frank with you. Woah lol
which videos are the continuation of this video?
I would just slow blink and say no, then blankly stare at them for three seconds 😂 this is probably a better approach
Hi Dan where can I find the workbook to apply the tactics and note my understanding ?
Does this video mention a workbook? Help me out by citing the spot, will you, and I'll have Jean take care of it.
The Sabateur: the Judy Dench character in Notes on a Scandal. You should parody scenes from that film. I pass OUT from laughing too hard.
Tomorrow when😂 my coworker is gonna throw a nasty noodles while "speaking" to her friend in the phone .. I will watch this and I guess i will laugh so hard like i did now😂😂😂😂😂😂
Do I have advantages when I become a member here on youtube before I buy a class from your shop? Or are those like two different things?
Galliano they are two different things. However, before you buy, write jean@danoconnortraining, tell her what you might be looking for, and see what she can do for you. She's great.
Love your shirts
Well thank you, Carla.
Come for the excellent content, stay for the wigs.
Dan your so ace x
Hey Donna; we may be related. My mother is a Davies. Small world.
I just love your posts you remind me of my sons mate x yes Davies you come from good stock 😍
@@donnadavies4630 Well that's certainly what my mother says.
i got talking to a women on fb who proved to be a empath
in which she happened to know things about me how ever she started criticizing me in relations to
to what she understood about me the joys of dealing with someone like this online is you can just press on block lol
Absolutely.
I kinda liked the muffled "Fkn bitch" to Trixie tho😂
Unasked for advice has a very similar effect to criticism. There's a reason it is not asked for...people neither want nor need it.
Do you have an assertiveness training course?
Yes, the Step Out of the Shadows and Speak course that you'll find (either in audio only or audio/video/materials) in the shop at danoconnortraining.com. If you're interested in that course, write Jean at jean@danoconnortraining.com and she'll shoot a coupon to you--save you some money--
Online Communication Skills Training Courses thank you 🙏 thank you - I love what you do
Your looking fantastic ,
I think there's more to this message and I don't think it's about me, so I'll wait for the rest. Was this a back-handed compliment someone gave you??
Even with your mouth full of food.....oh i understood what you said!!!
At least aunt Rose asks if you want advice first not just dump the advice on you like people i have in my family.
Hi Dan, last time I wrote I was a university student, now I graduated and have my first job as a social worker. I have this grumpy colluege who keeps controlling me, specifically he keeps staring at my screen and sometimes coments on it. He is a coworker, not my boss. Last time my boss asked me to participate on an online class for collecting money for social projects and I was rewatching that class on my computer with headphones when this old grumpy coworker asked me with an arrogant smirk what I was doing. I dont know how to react to him. Also I just want to say that I dont care about age or anything, but I feel like this man is really grumpy and aggresive towards me because he things he has nothing to loose because of being a few years from retirement, and her in germany the older people get the more they feel entitled to be grumpy. My boss is supporting me band told me not to mind him, but it bothers me and my boss avoids direct confrontation with him. And I dont want to have another fight because I sit in a small office with this guy.
"Mark, I just want to point out that every minute you spend looking at my screen is a minute you're not looking at your own and doing your job." I would keep saying that. Don't answer his questions. Don't interact at all. There is no need to interact and no need to fear. Just do your job and use the above line as a broken record. No matter what he says, you respond with "That may be but, I just want to point out that . . . ." Don't let him get you off message. In time, it will no longer be any fun to bug you.
hahaha "the body check"
You kill me😂
TRIXIE GOT SO SHADED SHE NEEDED TO PUT ON A DOWN COMFORTER.
:) :)
❤
Cause at the end of the day, it's not all about love. Imo.
I have a boss who continues to cross personal boundaries. Ex: I rejected birthday cupcakes. And she insisted on sending them to my toddler son even after I told her No, thank you.
Well Roxie, my question to you is--is your boss just super-friendly or does she do things such as send your toddler cookies to annoy you?
Trixie and Rose would have received the same response from me which is the word 'no'.
4:20 lmao
Dear Dan, I have a question. Here in Germany I have almost daily the case that while I am standing in the que to pay my grocceries people behind me in the que comment on me or on my grocceries. Today for example I had a young couple behind me who bould like a big amount of meat, and I bought only organic vegetables and fruit. The young woman said "oh, we are standing behind a vegan", and the guy said "doesnt matter", I kind of felt judged and bothered, here it is quite normal that people talk about you as if you are not there (freedom of speech) but I really feel bothered. I have to admit this is a mild case, but maybe you have some tipps.
I have a two-fold tip: First, remember that what people say is about them; how you respond is about you. And second, ignore such personal comments. Why would you care if two strangers "judged" you as a vegan. They should give you a medal. Such slights come along far too often. Smiling, remembering that they actually have nothing to do with you, and ignoring them are the way to go.
Thank u ❤️