Very true. The once- (and still-) popular notion that all bullies are bullies because of self-loathing or low self-esteem is simply not always true. Some people are just, as you said, sadistic.
@@Paradox3627505 Only fight back if this solution in the video doesn't work. Because if they aren't sadistic then your going to make the whole situation MUCH worse. And bullys being sadistic is much less likely
They were once young scared and bullied by a parent or school children and they figured out how to play the same game. Bullies are cowards and it's that simple. Tip, if someone threatens you, tell them to do it RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW or pissoff.
I had a manager for a bully. It made me feel horrible. But one day another manager saw how I was being treated and said something. The next day, that manager wasn't there anymore. I'm grateful to this day for that other manager.
One of the first office managers I had in my first "real" job at a large company was like that. I'll be honest, I kind of set him up one time - I knew that he was going to act in a condescending or bad way one time and I made sure that it happened right in front of his boss. He got some minor discipline for it and I didn't have to say or do anything.
Absolutely. I have a bully for a neighbor. Got his kids in on it and then the other neighbors joined in. I have my kids walk with me from the house to car and back. So ready to give up.
Bullying in school is different from bullying in the workplace. The former is more blatant and easily identifiable. The latter is more subtle and less identifiable; it’s passive-aggressive behavior.
I am only 12 years old, and I get bullied by this 16 year old every single day. I only watched your video today but it is making me feel more confident already. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful advice sir, I am sure it helps many kids and teens like me🙂.
shaureee Same, I also get bullied by older kids and nearly got my phone stolen today. They literally had me on the verge of suicide but i talked myself out of it. Be strong, my friend. Be strong.
Hey, it's me - Kirk. I wanted to tell you that you are strong, and you are powerful. I got bullied as a kid too.. they called me stupid and chubby and not good enough. Now I have a successful company that helps people all over the world. You have a great future ahead... Don't worry about what your 16 year old bully says. I believe in you! You can do incredible things - I just know it. YOU ARE WORTH IT. Remember that. :)
What worked for me is this. My father said, "fight him"! If you lose, so what! You'll gain his respect and he'll move on. Well, I fought him just like the kid on Christmas Story." Only he fought back. We fought for about 2-3 minutes and then, he walked away. I FELT GREAT!
@@najibullahghafori3739 You can! If a point comes of no way out but fight, stand your ground, pay attention! Keep your eyes locked on when he throws a punch. He will headhunt. Duck and counter with your strong hand directly to his gut. Punch as hard as you can. He'll either go down unable to breathe or he'll know he's hurt.
Sometimes I don't think I'm all that bad Other times I go down memory lane and Remer everyone I stopped talking sh or causing sh and everyone I beat up In conclusion 😁, in my defense, do not fn try me. Just bc I dont show sh or act enough of this and that, don't think I dont got sh in me
What makes me mad when it happens none of the other students who gets bullied goes to help the one that is,, you will have 15 or 20 kids just standing around watching 3 bully one kid, They all should step in
When that happens if you need to fight going for the leader disperses bullies if you take them down and to quantify this i mean if you have no choice but to fight
@@brianwalker1933 that is what I did, pour sugar in their gas tanks Flatten the tires on one truck one at a time, Then on Prom night asked a girl out that the bullies girl friends was picking on she said yes, we dance one time then got revenge on all of them that night
This is really all true, but if you are unwell, have unhealed childhood trauma, and a full blown narcissisist in your face, it can be way more complex.
It's not more complex, Sarah, it's just incredibly tough and unfair. The only way to deal with narcissists as an adult, which you would have attracted through being an empath (narcissists are magnetically drawn to giving people) is to get away from their energy altogether. This isn't bullying, this is abuse... And this is a terrible trap to be in when you are physically and emotionally burned out. First thing is to appreciate how incredibly strong you are. I agree with this guy's suggestions but not if you are in the same space and/or dependent on a narcissist. Sending big hugs 🤗
Don’t ever blame yourself once you’re bullied. Bullying is never justified. People get bullied because they stand out from the others. Because they look different or etc...
Sometimes it is not your fault if you get bully but sometimes it's your fault if you keep getting bullied. You are allowing the disrespect. People will push as far as they can if you allow them.
@@mcmc8556 True true. It's difficult for me to find a balance to stay a tough figure to the bullies at the same time not to hurt the feelings of nice people in general. Although I get bullied by others but a lot of people are still nice to me so I might appear a bit rude to them. But if I don't stay a tough figure I might get bullied by someone. In fact I don't even know now people are bullying me or just offended by me. I'm in a constant psychological conflict and don't know what to do.
Bullies are actually cowards, they will only know how to pick on people weaker than them. Don't be intimidated by them, once you stand up to them they will move away.
wtf this kid in my school is like 30cm shorter than me and slim as a stick . he always just yell at me and insult me. i know its very sad for him but always when he yells something and i ignore or yell back like wazzup bro his friends always laugh. and thats the only reason why he continues. wtf im supposed to do
To be fair, even non-bullying adults are really just children on the inside. But yeah a lot of bullies are still feeling powerless like kids so they need to feel in control of someone else's status to not feel bad about themself.
I was a bully in elementary school. Not sure why I did it, I think I just didn't know how else to socialize other than making fun of people. I also made fun of guys that I liked because I was too embarrassed to let people know that I liked them. I also was abused as a child so that could have contributed.
@@grammyd8361 That's what a war is. The other side won't give up as easily either. But if you surrender it will just get worse for the rest of your life. The victim will deal with the memories and pschological damage for the rest of his or her life if he/she doesn't do anything about it. The bully(ies) will forget about it once it's over cuz for them there's no problem. Same thing with rape ... the rapists doesn't mind cuz it's not his problem, but the victim remembers it and remain hurt and develop comfort zones and have danger zones. Also they will have trust issues.
Hurt people hurt people is not always true. There are hurt people who don't hurt other people and get no pleasure from it. Also there are unhurt people who hurt people because they have bad aspects about their personality.
I believe you. The world is only an extension of the schoolroom, and it a preparation for life. Old people can be formidable. My own mother, 80, has just last week had to block an 80+ age 'friend' from sending her upsetting emails (long story!)
As a child growing up, I had one best friend. We were like sisters. Always together. Then a new girl moved into our neighborhood and immediately latched on to my friend. The two of them ganged up on me every day after school. It traumatized me and to this day, I have issues w/loyalty. Bullies affect us, sometimes long-term.
Pleeeease seek EMDR therapy (+ IFS if possible) for your trauma, dear friend🙏🙏🙏 You can heal what these people did to you, and you totally deserve the healing (and DID NOT deserve the bullying!!!)❤️🩹
@@harrietthespy2119 Harriet the Spy, the book, actually helped me. I never got counseling for that. I have learned a lot about forgiveness however, walking the path that I do now. Thank you. 🙏
Your friend was probably never really your friend. These types of situations happen to nearly all of us. My childhood friend was a bully, but when we grew up, she wanted to be my friend. There is no possible way could I ever trust her again.
Thank you. I live in retirement block and we have bully in her eighties. True. She walks around all puffed up with her own self importance and carries on as though she is in charge. We had a manager leave because she made her life a misery. And yes she was an abused wife. All old people are not sweet and nice.
Old people are not always nice or respectable. If someone is a dirt bag at 30, 40, 50, chances are they will be dirt bags at 60, 70, 80. Theres no magical rebirth with old age. And yes, i do respect my elders, although not if they are dirtbags.
As a man with Asperger's, I was bullied at school and in early adulthood. Two solutions often worked for me:- the first where I just totally show that I'm unoffended by what was said to me, and just laugh, or just shout at, and frighten them, showing them you will stand up if need be, depending on the situation. One thing I realized I couldn't do was rely on other people to defend me, as they couldn't always be present anyway. The methods I used didn't turn these bullies into my friends, but at least they backed off from that point, on. I realized being nice got me nowhere with these people, so learned new approaches.
This is great because actually what you were showing was that you dont care what they think of you and are unaffected by it. This takes a lot of personal power and confidence. And exactly what they what to do is hurt and see your reaction and that's what you didnt give them. 👏👏👏
@@marianamercedescava1441 Exactly. They want a reaction. If you starve them of that, they just get bored. A kid in high school once told me I looked like a serial killer. I said to him:- 'well don't tell everyone.......keep it our little secret' 😉 You can't change the bully. They're who they are. It's about changing your responses. I'm a huge believer in tackling the cause, not the symptoms. 😃
Hi,I’m 10 years old and I’m here to thank you, you made me braver because there was a bully,he always scratches me until I bleed,and he steals my food every day, he calls me names,also he says at least 2 bad words every day,and I don’t know how to fight back,he always makes me feel sad,so thank you,you changed my whole life,mister😊
What happens is that the bully wants to play out a certain stage play in which he acts a certain role (the winning one) and you act a certain role (the losing one). He will try to find somebody to play the other role. And try to manipulate you to play the other role. And if you refuse to play that role, it also prevents the bully from playing his role, and that will mess up the bully's stage play.
@@Katrica670 Don't play the role assigned to you and learn to communicate under stress. Also: who gets bullied? Primarily those with the weakest social skills. Who has low social skills in elementary school? Those who got neglected as a small child by their parents. You can still get your social skills at a later date, but only if you don't shrink back from social activity due to the bullying.
@@petersteenkamp No, they bully the weakest guy he can find. Either the weakeset or the one that WON'T fight back.. like the ones who say, "Violence is not the answer" or "Turn the other cheek." And they do this cuz girls LOVE guys who pick on other guys they know are weaker than them.
My family have a lot of bullies . There's different types of bullying too . Sometimes it can be so subtle that you and others don't realise . But over a period of time you feel more and more degraded .
When I was in high school I was all ready a black belt on karate so I was defending all the younger kids from the bullies & I gain a lots of friends by doing this.
A bully said this to when I was asked to be on a committee, he said, did not know they were looking for assholes; I said your name was never brought up. Awm
Grew up in a family of bullies. Later called them A-Holes. Now they are truly narcissists. The population of them is growing. As soon as you can get your heart and mind and trust back on track, the back stabbing and throwing under the bus starts up again. Go complete no contact and run as fast as you can.
The best advice I ever took was, "Never look back". When you make a decision to leave someone in your past, don't start thinking it wasn't that bad. Yes it was that bad, never go back to the past and trust the A-Holes that made you want to leave them, because ...Fool/abuse me once shame on you, fool/abuse me twice shame on me. Don't give anyone, including relatives the chance to make you feel ashamed of yourself for getting abused/used/fooled again.
Yep. Sometimes the only thing to do is to get away. When the death toll begins t o mount up, go missing person, even if you get disinherited. Just get the **** away.
Learning to have peace with a bully doesn't mean you agree with them, it means that your own integrity and character have more power and influence, not only over your own mind, but also over them. You then are becoming the real Influencer and that causes them to lose their power over you. In the process, they might begin to change and become a better person simply because you choose to be a better than them now. Either way it's a win win situation.
Ive never been bullied although people have tried at work. But they all only tried once and then they didn’t want to try anymore. I immediately would confront them. I would confront them in the crowd or at a meeting or where the big boss was present. They never wanted to try to bully me, or criticise me, or ask me to repeat what I said ( I have a slight accent) again! One time a bully even wrote me an apology letter because I refused ( publicly) to accept his apology, I was so pissed at them that I kept confronting. DO NOT EVER BE SCARED of these pathetic little characters and they will leave you alone. Because they are cowards.
I recently had a bully at work and reported her to management. She now sits quietly at her desk like a church mouse instead of me taking gut punches from her... I'm very proud of myself for standing up to her.
Itsallaboutthebenjamins well done! This is how bulling will be stopped. They are cowards and they try to find someone weaker to push around. They will run away if you show assertiveness. But the worse ones are the ones who plot with others who have been duped by them.
Many co workers attempted to bully me and I immediately pushed back .They stopped after that first attempt.But now there's a new boss who has tried to bully me several times.I don't like to be forced into confrontations over trivial matters.But I'm planning to report the person to higher ups if it continues.I did push back a few times but the boss keeps trying because I'm not as vocally assertive as some of my co workers who don't get bullied.
You're completely right when you say the majority of bullies pick on those with a small "personable" bubble. They can sense it by your body language and other ways.
I love this! I’ve shrunk smaller and smaller when with bullies, falsely believing it would make me less of a target. It soooo doesn’t work! At times when I’ve had enough, I’ve let myself take up more space in the room and sit in postures which indicate I’m done placating the bully. It is ASTOUNDING how quickly this supposed brave person starts to look and act afraid of me! Bullying traumatizes us, at any age and we all deserve healing from it! EMDR/IFS trauma therapy is VERY helpful!
Making fun of someone and laughing at their face Touching someone ,hurting someone, calling them mean names stealing stuff from someone breaking or destroying someone's stuff ,following them when they don't want to be followed repeatedly talking to them when they don't wanna talk to you all of that is considered to be Bullying even if it happens on the internet too
This is excellent! Yes! There is something about when you get off of the bully’s wavelength, you are free. You get hooked into them because something about their abuse may actually be resonating with how you think about yourself. Have you ever noticed that when a bully does something so bad that it doesn’t affect you emotionally, that you are free? You think, wow, that person’s crazy and it has nothing to do with me. You’re not even upset by it and the bully disappears.
Yeah, I agree with this. I'd say that was Step One, to be honest. With Expanding Personal Space as step 2 - for damage control. Fending off the bullies is a long way from being respected by or friendly with them, but that is what's needed to control a situation, especially in adult bullying situations at work or education.
Back in sixth grade when I was young I was being bullied I finally had enough and stood up for myself. And I got the respect! Never was bullied again. You just have to stand your ground and speak up for yourself. Best device my mom ever gave me
@@bettttta uh attack their race or weight or religion. protip: threaten to bring AR-15 to school. step 3: ??? step 4: $$$$PROFIT$$$$$ i love the internet 😂🤣
I have a 75 year old bully, who lives next door to my apartment:( , I'm 69.. I didn't know that bullies existed in the senior years, boy am I wrong, and shocked! 😮 She's terrible! Thank you so much for sharing this video, very helpful info:)
A lot of times it’s pure jealousy I use to wonder why so many ppl automatically acted like they didn’t like me although I was always very nice to them once I understood it wasn’t nothing to do with me people throw rocks at things that shine I won’t ever dim my light to fit in with the crowd like I use too if people don’t like me ok I like me
@@stenionet i know but im not telling my parents, just don't want to make them confused , i was actually want to move but i don't tell the real reason . Hemm I can't wait a year and a half that i can go to the next high schooler
Yep, I don't see any other reason for a straight woman to stare at me everytime I come around or walk by. She has that " look at her, she thinks she's cute" look on her face.
Inviting the bully to sit next to you will put you in the “power position”, which lowers the power of the bully. It puts the one who is doing the inviting into the one who controls, in a sense. And very true that approaching the bully shows you are not only unafraid, it goes beyond that. Love that idea! I’m viewing this for a friend who is being bullied. Thank you!
If a bully says something that is negative about you, say this back to them, " sorry YOU feel that way. " it gives it back to them,it's their problem not yours. And this also makes you realise that person has problems not you ,which immediately boosts your confidence.: )
I went to a public high school in Philly. I highly doubt expanding my personal space would’ve reduced the bullying I received. I’m not sure if inviting a bully to come sit next to me will have the same affect as what you described. What eventually did help, was that I started going to the gym and started getting strong and building self-confidence.
People with low self esteem are not always emotionally able to switch their view of themselves just by wanting to. We have a lot of people that come to us for problems of this nature, and they only manage to change the game once they have had psychological support that allows them to heal the issues that produced the low self esteem. It's important to point this out because the person's self esteem can go even lower when they fail to change their thoughts about themselves without help.
I know bullies who have been treated as though they could do no wrong. They are arrogant, and prideful because they have been told all their lives how special and wonderful they are. They haven't been hurt. They just feel entitled to think, say, and do whatever they want to do, and they don't give a flip about how their victims feel. I do not, for one second, believe "hurt people, hurt people." That's a cop out excuse for these jerks.
So true. We must appear strong and capable to the world, even if inside we don't feel like it. Walk with confidence like you have a place to be, keep a slight smile on your face, and make eye contact with those around you. You need to blend in, don't stand out from the group. Don't be too smart, too pretty, too popular, too wealthy, too thin or fat etc. Find a couple of close friends and don't try to be part of the crowd.
i was bullied all of my life .even into my teens then i started work and the bullieing started there i said to myself no way .so i stuck up for myself and they backed off if only i new this years ago.
Sometimes when bullies get physical then you should always stand up for yourself. Thanks to watching this, the girl who bullied me is feeling upset that she became a bully. She used to be my best friend until I started to study more and focus on my tasks. So she got mad and left me, people knew her as the “Popular girls” By girls I mean by her other friends who she treats like they’re minions. They got tired of it and they left the bully. People starting standing up for me and I felt happy! If I didn’t watch this video I would be getting bruises day by day. Luckily, she stop doing it all yesterday. I watched this video a day before yesterday. Thank you so much. I love the positive energy you spread and help out people!
I am so happy to know that my video helped you! Truly, If the only positive impact this video had was for you, it was worth it for me. Thank you for sharing. Continue to be a positive impact on your friends... You are amazing!!!
There was a chubby kid at my school, who was bullied, had hand me downs and cheap shoes and his last name was Streets like the ice cream company, so you could imagine what kids said. Yet I admired Master Streets because he had no idea he was being bullied, he was psychologically sound and just kept playing and laughing. He must of had supportive parents, I think this makes all the difference.
This is really unfortunate. People who were abused as children by their parents already have developed a small personal space making them perpetual targets for bullies later on in life. There's no let up. I reckon it would require professional help to develop self-esteem since the parents never allowed it to develop by abusing their child/ren.
I think today's bullies have evolved past these tricks. What they do now is lie to people that you are the bully and they are the victim and then they gang up on you based on that.
AtlanticRaven hi I have questions I’m getting bullied into a position that this girl is told I’m fantasizing weird things about her and I’m not. What do I do
Most bullies are adults and their children are afraid of them so they become bullies- That’s the trend I see- All my life I never met a bully as a child that didn’t have a parent that was a bully
I know one right now..and he is our landlord oh and his prick of a son doesnt understand that civilized people are "supposed" to naturally respect their elders? However, neither do represent themselves worthy civilized and especially respectful & honorable decent people!! However, i intend on "closing the gap" between us and findout whats on the other side of this sinister activity?? (@@)??
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When I was a kid I dealt with kid bullies and adult bullies bullies failed to break my spirit they couldn't get the job done I'm a strong man today and I still deal with bullies out in public but I don't let them get to me they don't come at me physically anymore they run their mouth I don't give them the victory they are nothing I look at my bullies as insignificant worthless they got nothing better to do because they don't have nothing important on in their life so they try to bully
this one day i did that thing with the bus, when i did that he looked at me and asked what the hell, he did sit and started joking, but then i started taking those jokes as compliments, like he said i was chuby i said, welp i have been training to get more fit do you know a tip or two? you know things like that, until these day that guy is giving me fitness tips, and he became my gym trainer .-. (ps: no he does not bully me anymore)
Was bullied as a teenager, but if I ever run into any of those bullies I will thank them. I used that stuff as fuel to become a stronger more successful person. Well I have to also admit that I beat up all my bullies at that time, or shortly thereafter so I guess I turned into the bully of my bullies.
I having been looking for help like this for a while. This is the only thing that has made sense. In Jr high and High School being bullied for me was horrible, but it could change on a dime. As a an adult it is never ending. I believe as we dont realize the damage we can cause. My confidence is the problem. thank you for this. I needed this badly.
Because of the bullies I was dealing with depression Now I am in process of getting rid of my depression My mom says I am not enough old for getting bullied This video helped me thank you
I understand that you have a friend pretending to be someone there not and they bully you, unfortunately there not your friend. If you could understood why he or she bully's you and if you could help them through what they are going through, maybe you could become real friend's. What do you think?
The first bully I encountered was my dad. How to deal with that? Truly physically bigger and meaner. How does a kid "obey her parents" when the dad is physically and verbally abusive and the mom stands by and lets it happen and refuses to stand up for the kid?
That's ABUSE. Vial, (usually) Narcissistic and absolutely wrong. Never be silent. It'll get you labeled, gossiped/lied about and possibly hated by your family but it sounds like that is already happening. The sooner you begin to put up barriers to protect yourself and demand basic, common decency from others and the sooner you start this practice in your life, the sooner it is a part of you and your everyday life without much effort.
Mom was probably trying to keep you together as a family...Forgive your bully and he can't ever hurt you again...'The only revenge is massive success ' - Frank Sinatra ; )
It sounds like you were likely the "designated target" of the family, and the "buffer" for your Mom. As long as your Dad was going after you, he was not going after her. She might even have joined in since she was not the target. Did she try to get you to stay when you left home? Was she always wishing that you were still there?
A bully? Like only one bully?? How about those individuals that are dealing with a bully that spread a horrible lie about you creating a shunning from an entire people group? One bully is sooooo incredibly horrible. A bully that created a shunning from over 50 people is devastating. I’m 59 years old.
Idk how this makes sense bc I have a huge personal space and people still try to bring me down. I think they're insecure and jealous. I tried being nice to them and friendly, but they continue to try to beat me down bc of their insecurity.
You don’t need those negative acquaintances in your life. Distance yourself from them as soon as you can. They are jealous and will try to make fun of everything you do. They are not your friends.
The problem is that ignoring workplace bullying has negative consequences, as the bully puts people down in front of others; lies, etc. I like Kirk's approach. It fits really well with an observation I have had, too. I think it could be very effective.
I worked with a bully. Everytime that he started his nonsense I silently prayed for him. Then I would write a short note on small slip of paper and put it in a notebook. At the end of the week I would take the notes out and pray for him. At the end of year I realized that he wasn´t going to change and I left my job. It was just too much of a downer to be around someone like that.
You'll always be a victim if you have that approach. Did you confront him, tell him to get off your back..or ask him what do you want ? If you're timid it's like a red tag to a bull to some of these people.... Praying for him ...when he's preying on you. !
@@lookandlisten5740 when you tell them the problem you have about them... guess what, you're fueling them... what he did was better and should also be our response to these slights...
Bullied must raise the issue to the authorities like parents and teachers. Know your worth, you are human who deserved to be treated well. Fight for your right to express who you are! Do not allow anyone to make fun of you! And lastly, DO NOT BE LIKE THEM!
Your comment is a year old now, but I'm curious if you found any strategies in the past year for dealing with your bully boss? Have you tried being friendly to them to see what would happen?
@@raymcmahan5080 here is my suggestion when you have someone bullying you or have a boss who bullies you. Never shown reaction to them. There is a method called gray rock. Show no emotion to them but remain professional. Bullies look for reactions by what you say in your response to them, also looking at your reaction through body language (your facial expressions), how you act toward them like trying to avoid them or by indirect frustration towards them. Bullies want to see all of this because they will know their tactics are working. If someone says something to try and draw a reaction.. I look at them with the expression of a rock. You can’t draw any feedback from a rock. These bullies can read people. It’s hard to do this with bullies because it is our nature to treat everyone the same. Just look at them expressionless but cordial and professional but with no facial expression or negative body language they can draw from to know they are getting to you. I worked for a manager once. I said you always have a smile on your face. She said no one will ever know if I’m angry. That stuck with me. She reacts with a smile in every situation. If anyone angered her, I’m sure they probably gave up on it because she would not allow them to know if they got to her. The advice in this video about inviting the bully to sit next to him was spot on. It may have been the opposite of what he wanted to do in that situation but it worked because the bully stopped.
Pray for them . Still treat them the way you would wanted to be treated . Never become bitter because someone else is. Bullies are just people who are hurt inside .
It's TRUE they pick on someone who seems like an easy target but they have another victim too. If you stand up to them on someone else's behalf and in their eyes attack them then they will turn on you big time
A Bully as a hurt Colleague feeling intimidated by your work skills and Personality & Lawyer having their hands in too many pies not seeing you for Who you are and What you Deserve 🙈
This might work for children in school. But as it is written; EPHESIANS 6:12 For We restle not against flesh and blood but against powers, against principalities, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in High places"
A lot of times that's where it starts and then you go out into the world and it keeps happening to you. People become attracted to what's familiar - what they know.
Narcissistic bullies need supply to feed their egos, they tear people down to make themselves feel better. I thought as an adult I would meet more mature people but I still get attacked.
I was bullied up to the age of 13 yo. My father taught me self defence, how to attack, maim and completely destroy a bullies ability to re-offend. He taught un-armed combat in the army, during WW2 and l have followed in his footsteps.
Sometimes the Worst Bullies Are the Ones You Are Closest to.
Sounds like a narcissistic family set up.
Like a family member
Like a parent.
Very true because they know you best including all your vulnerabilities. They know where your weaknessess are and exactly which buttons to push.
Like my cousin
Some people are simply sadistic and they truly enjoy being cruel to others
Very true. The once- (and still-) popular notion that all bullies are bullies because of self-loathing or low self-esteem is simply not always true. Some people are just, as you said, sadistic.
@@sethcashman1011 Yeah,...until they start getting a taste of their own medicine.
@@Paradox3627505 Only fight back if this solution in the video doesn't work. Because if they aren't sadistic then your going to make the whole situation MUCH worse. And bullys being sadistic is much less likely
They were once young scared and bullied by a parent or school children and they figured out how to play the same game. Bullies are cowards and it's that simple. Tip, if someone threatens you, tell them to do it RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW or pissoff.
@@Paradox3627505 🤪😜🥳
There needs to be a law against workplace bullying. It is ridiculous, we have a society of insecure narcissistic monsters.
🎯
It's called mobbing
Yeah l have one every Second
L
Generally the person you have to report to is the one bullying you, the manager or supervisor.
I had a manager for a bully. It made me feel horrible. But one day another manager saw how I was being treated and said something. The next day, that manager wasn't there anymore. I'm grateful to this day for that other manager.
That kind of justice rarely happens.
Rare occurrence.
One of the first office managers I had in my first "real" job at a large company was like that. I'll be honest, I kind of set him up one time - I knew that he was going to act in a condescending or bad way one time and I made sure that it happened right in front of his boss. He got some minor discipline for it and I didn't have to say or do anything.
@@gertrudewest4535 sure didn't happen to me.
@always right not where I worked (Government). They might have called the 👮.
The problem with bullies is they recognize each other instantly, and then team up to inflict themselves on others.
Yes they surely do... they learn each other's tricks and they are extremely tenacious ☠️🕸️🦇
Absolutely. I have a bully for a neighbor. Got his kids in on it and then the other neighbors joined in. I have my kids walk with me from the house to car and back. So ready to give up.
it is not just one person bullying another it is two or three or even more bulling against 1 person
That's ganging...
@Just Moi You're probably right. Being able to influence others to join the cause...
Bullying in school is different from bullying in the workplace. The former is more blatant and easily identifiable. The latter is more subtle and less identifiable; it’s passive-aggressive behavior.
I am only 12 years old, and I get bullied by this 16 year old every single day. I only watched your video today but it is making me feel more confident already. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful advice sir, I am sure it helps many kids and teens like me🙂.
shaureee Same, I also get bullied by older kids and nearly got my phone stolen today. They literally had me on the verge of suicide but i talked myself out of it. Be strong, my friend. Be strong.
Hey, it's me - Kirk. I wanted to tell you that you are strong, and you are powerful. I got bullied as a kid too.. they called me stupid and chubby and not good enough. Now I have a successful company that helps people all over the world. You have a great future ahead... Don't worry about what your 16 year old bully says. I believe in you! You can do incredible things - I just know it. YOU ARE WORTH IT. Remember that. :)
shaureee Dont listen to the bully. Your Awesome man. Bullies are just jealous of you. Your awesome and very brave 😎
Bullies are cowards. They feel inadequate. It makes them feel big to pick on somebody younger or smsller.
I’m 11 and I get bullied 😕
People if you see someone getting bullied please... Stand up for them don't be part of bully's 😊😊
that person would join the bully bullies that person ?
I just got this mercy thingy but i can fight the bully because i do taekwondo btw im a virgo
Why would someone post a video with such bad English grammar?
The plural of "bully" is "bullies". There is NO APOSTROPHE!
@@bobmarshall3700 the comment or mine
Don't be part of BULLIES (not BULLY'S).😉
What worked for me is this. My father said, "fight him"! If you lose, so what! You'll gain his respect and he'll move on. Well, I fought him just like the kid on Christmas Story." Only he fought back. We fought for about 2-3 minutes and then, he walked away. I FELT GREAT!
@@najibullahghafori3739 You can! If a point comes of no way out but fight, stand your ground, pay attention! Keep your eyes locked on when he throws a punch. He will headhunt. Duck and counter with your strong hand directly to his gut. Punch as hard as you can. He'll either go down unable to breathe or he'll know he's hurt.
Sometimes I don't think I'm all that bad
Other times I go down memory lane and Remer everyone I stopped talking sh or causing sh and everyone I beat up
In conclusion 😁, in my defense, do not fn try me. Just bc I dont show sh or act enough of this and that, don't think I dont got sh in me
A machete at your side creates peace. Keep it sharp. Use it as needed.
A lot of school bullies do it in groups though. It's hard when you're just one person and 4 or 5 people are bullying you.
What makes me mad when it happens none of the other students who gets bullied goes to help the one that is,, you will have 15 or 20 kids just standing around watching 3 bully one kid, They all should step in
When that happens if you need to fight going for the leader disperses bullies if you take them down and to quantify this i mean if you have no choice but to fight
Seek revenge on them...One at a time!!
@@brianwalker1933 that is what I did, pour sugar in their gas tanks Flatten the tires on one truck one at a time, Then on Prom night asked a girl out that the bullies girl friends was picking on she said yes, we dance one time then got revenge on all of them that night
Yes the bully always has is minions around him.
This is really all true, but if you are unwell, have unhealed childhood trauma, and a full blown narcissisist in your face, it can be way more complex.
It's not more complex, Sarah, it's just incredibly tough and unfair. The only way to deal with narcissists as an adult, which you would have attracted through being an empath (narcissists are magnetically drawn to giving people) is to get away from their energy altogether. This isn't bullying, this is abuse...
And this is a terrible trap to be in when you are physically and emotionally burned out. First thing is to appreciate how incredibly strong you are. I agree with this guy's suggestions but not if you are in the same space and/or dependent on a narcissist.
Sending big hugs 🤗
@@NothingByHalves 🎯
Family bullies are the worst!
Yup, because they can set you up to be bullied out in the world.
Don’t ever blame yourself once you’re bullied. Bullying is never justified. People get bullied because they stand out from the others. Because they look different or etc...
Very true
Sometimes it is not your fault if you get bully but sometimes it's your fault if you keep getting bullied. You are allowing the disrespect. People will push as far as they can if you allow them.
I was bullied because I look like Whoopi Goldberg. Now I say "I look like a living legend and you look like average____. "
The bullies are to blame and they are the ones that need to change NOT the victims.
@@mcmc8556 True true. It's difficult for me to find a balance to stay a tough figure to the bullies at the same time not to hurt the feelings of nice people in general. Although I get bullied by others but a lot of people are still nice to me so I might appear a bit rude to them. But if I don't stay a tough figure I might get bullied by someone. In fact I don't even know now people are bullying me or just offended by me. I'm in a constant psychological conflict and don't know what to do.
Bullies are actually cowards, they will only know how to pick on people weaker than them. Don't be intimidated by them, once you stand up to them they will move away.
That’s the truth!
wtf this kid in my school is like 30cm shorter than me and slim as a stick . he always just yell at me and insult me. i know its very sad for him but always when he yells something and i ignore or yell back like wazzup bro his friends always laugh. and thats the only reason why he continues. wtf im supposed to do
Or someone they perceive to be “weaker than them”.
not adult bullies. they typically have deep pockets and are in it to see me decimated.
In most cases it's case the bully feels weak an insecure
The person they pick on usually has something they admire or are jealous of
Thankfully, I've always stuck up for myself so have not been bullied. Don't let anyone intimidate you, ever! 🙂🙋♀️🇬🇧
🍀 Lucky
@Sticknodes Animations ❤️
I wish my parents taught me that
I'm focusing on myself I don't even notice if someone is bullying me, I don't care half the time. adults who bully are not adults, their children
They're not children either...they're just bullies!!!
To be fair, even non-bullying adults are really just children on the inside. But yeah a lot of bullies are still feeling powerless like kids so they need to feel in control of someone else's status to not feel bad about themself.
Agree
Adults who bully aren't adults. They are like kids....amen I love it.
I don't understand why this world 🌍 is full of cruel people like bully's 😔💔
Girl, keep that victim mentality and learned helplessness energy to yourself.
I'm just going to point out that it's *bullies* (plural)
I was a bully in elementary school. Not sure why I did it, I think I just didn't know how else to socialize other than making fun of people. I also made fun of guys that I liked because I was too embarrassed to let people know that I liked them. I also was abused as a child so that could have contributed.
When you have a bully group, strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.
No, not always! Sometimes it gets worse.
@@grammyd8361 That's what a war is. The other side won't give up as easily either. But if you surrender it will just get worse for the rest of your life. The victim will deal with the memories and pschological damage for the rest of his or her life if he/she doesn't do anything about it. The bully(ies) will forget about it once it's over cuz for them there's no problem. Same thing with rape ... the rapists doesn't mind cuz it's not his problem, but the victim remembers it and remain hurt and develop comfort zones and have danger zones. Also they will have trust issues.
Great
Amen
This is law 42 from Robert Greene’s “The 48 Laws of Power”
Hurt people hurt people is not always true. There are hurt people who don't hurt other people and get no pleasure from it. Also there are unhurt people who hurt people because they have bad aspects about their personality.
Been there, done that. No more.
Absolutely 👌...
You find a lot of bullies have bad backgrounds! But why should other people suffer.
@@pam164 Shelters are full of hurt people. But only fraction of them pass on their anguish to unconnected others.
Well said! Agree 💯
I am 58 and recently got bullied by two old women in their 70's!!!! This happened at a Book Group!
@Emma Hawke of course it does. why would it not?
I believe you. The world is only an extension of the schoolroom, and it a preparation for life. Old people can be formidable. My own mother, 80, has just last week had to block an 80+ age 'friend' from sending her upsetting emails (long story!)
Shock Horror!
No way! I hope you managed to resolve the issue!
So much for nice old people. lol
As a child growing up, I had one best friend. We were like sisters. Always together. Then a new girl moved into our neighborhood and immediately latched on to my friend. The two of them ganged up on me every day after school. It traumatized me and to this day, I have issues w/loyalty. Bullies affect us, sometimes long-term.
Pleeeease seek EMDR therapy (+ IFS if possible) for your trauma, dear friend🙏🙏🙏 You can heal what these people did to you, and you totally deserve the healing (and DID NOT deserve the bullying!!!)❤️🩹
@@harrietthespy2119 Harriet the Spy, the book, actually helped me. I never got counseling for that. I have learned a lot about forgiveness however, walking the path that I do now. Thank you. 🙏
Your friend was probably never really your friend. These types of situations happen to nearly all of us. My childhood friend was a bully, but when we grew up, she wanted to be my friend. There is no possible way could I ever trust her again.
Thank you. I live in retirement block and we have bully in her eighties. True. She walks around all puffed up with her own self importance and carries on as though she is in charge. We had a manager leave because she made her life a misery. And yes she was an abused wife. All old people are not sweet and nice.
I’m dealing with a similar person in my apartment. Such a nightmare.
Old people are not always nice or respectable.
If someone is a dirt bag at 30, 40, 50, chances are they will be dirt bags at 60, 70, 80. Theres no magical rebirth with old age. And yes, i do respect my elders, although not if they are dirtbags.
She has large personal space.
I got bullied by two women in their late 70's, at a Book Group. I am 58. I wonder if they have always been Bullies!!!
Lorilew Lewis they are jealous and narcissistic...
As a man with Asperger's, I was bullied at school and in early adulthood. Two solutions often worked for me:- the first where I just totally show that I'm unoffended by what was said to me, and just laugh, or just shout at, and frighten them, showing them you will stand up if need be, depending on the situation.
One thing I realized I couldn't do was rely on other people to defend me, as they couldn't always be present anyway.
The methods I used didn't turn these bullies into my friends, but at least they backed off from that point, on. I realized being nice got me nowhere with these people, so learned new approaches.
🙏🏼💛
I know we should forgive people that trespass, but I went to Catholic school and we were punished and there was not much forgiveness .
Woah that's really great
This is great because actually what you were showing was that you dont care what they think of you and are unaffected by it. This takes a lot of personal power and confidence. And exactly what they what to do is hurt and see your reaction and that's what you didnt give them. 👏👏👏
@@marianamercedescava1441
Exactly. They want a reaction. If you starve them of that, they just get bored.
A kid in high school once told me I looked like a serial killer. I said to him:- 'well don't tell everyone.......keep it our little secret' 😉
You can't change the bully. They're who they are. It's about changing your responses.
I'm a huge believer in tackling the cause, not the symptoms. 😃
Hi,I’m 10 years old and I’m here to thank you, you made me braver because there was a bully,he always scratches me until I bleed,and he steals my food every day, he calls me names,also he says at least 2 bad words every day,and I don’t know how to fight back,he always makes me feel sad,so thank you,you changed my whole life,mister😊
According to this video you should give the bully your apple ahead of time.
Tell a police officer. The scratching and the stealing are crimes.
What happens is that the bully wants to play out a certain stage play in which he acts a certain role (the winning one) and you act a certain role (the losing one). He will try to find somebody to play the other role. And try to manipulate you to play the other role. And if you refuse to play that role, it also prevents the bully from playing his role, and that will mess up the bully's stage play.
@Peter so how do you change the stage?
@@Katrica670 Don't play the role assigned to you and learn to communicate under stress. Also: who gets bullied? Primarily those with the weakest social skills. Who has low social skills in elementary school? Those who got neglected as a small child by their parents. You can still get your social skills at a later date, but only if you don't shrink back from social activity due to the bullying.
@@petersteenkamp No, they bully the weakest guy he can find. Either the weakeset or the one that WON'T fight back.. like the ones who say, "Violence is not the answer" or "Turn the other cheek." And they do this cuz girls LOVE guys who pick on other guys they know are weaker than them.
My family have a lot of bullies . There's different types of bullying too . Sometimes it can be so subtle that you and others don't realise . But over a period of time you feel more and more degraded .
When I was in high school I was all ready a black belt on karate so I was defending all the younger kids from the bullies & I gain a lots of friends by doing this.
that's cool :D
👏👏
❤
That is awesome.
More people should do that! ❤😊 You're awesome!
A bully said this to when I was asked to be on a committee, he said, did not know they were looking for assholes; I said your name was never brought up. Awm
I thought awm meant, "Angry white man or male?"
But your name says Janice.
I'm cornfuzed!
Love yurself/ yru confidence will go up. He's sooooo right!!!!😁
I ment: there SHARKS- LOOKING FOR BLOOD TO FEED OFF.... U change/ .
Sweet Missy Petunia Wilson ,I never thought of angry white man, but no that's my name AWM! I am a man and I am angry does match my initials. Awm
👍 great comeback.
Grew up in a family of bullies. Later called them A-Holes. Now they are truly narcissists. The population of them is growing. As soon as you can get your heart and mind and trust back on track, the back stabbing and throwing under the bus starts up again. Go complete no contact and run as fast as you can.
The best advice I ever took was, "Never look back". When you make a decision to leave someone in your past, don't start thinking it wasn't that bad. Yes it was that bad, never go back to the past and trust the A-Holes that made you want to leave them, because ...Fool/abuse me once shame on you, fool/abuse me twice shame
on me. Don't give anyone, including relatives the chance to make you feel ashamed of yourself for getting abused/used/fooled again.
I've developed a simple way of quickly deciphering who to trust.
@@kristinburton4953 wow thank you for the message!
Yep. Sometimes the only thing to do is to get away. When the death toll begins t o mount up, go missing person, even if you get disinherited. Just get the **** away.
Same here
I think when a bunch of guys are beating on one guy, we’ve gone past the “bullying” stage
I’m not gonna have peace with a bully even if they are going through something. You shouldn’t take anger out on people.
Learning to have peace with a bully doesn't mean you agree with them, it means that your own integrity and character have more power and influence, not only over your own mind, but also over them. You then are becoming the real Influencer and that causes them to lose their power over you. In the process, they might begin to change and become a better person simply because you choose to be a better than them now. Either way it's a win win situation.
Bullies should stay to themselves when frustrated. I go in solitude and that's what bullies should do
@Raghav Dinesh 😂 or insist on a Dance off.. 🕺hehehe they won't see that coming either.
@@purityshallabide1645 😂😂😂 like Westside Story! 😂😂
Thank you.
Ive never been bullied although people have tried at work. But they all only tried once and then they didn’t want to try anymore. I immediately would confront them. I would confront them in the crowd or at a meeting or where the big boss was present. They never wanted to try to bully me, or criticise me, or ask me to repeat what I said ( I have a slight accent) again! One time a bully even wrote me an apology letter because I refused ( publicly) to accept his apology, I was so pissed at them that I kept confronting. DO NOT EVER BE SCARED of these pathetic little characters and they will leave you alone. Because they are cowards.
How did you confront them infront of an audience? Id like to know
littlesmiless_ they are cowards. Emanate courage and they will stay away.
I recently had a bully at work and reported her to management. She now sits quietly at her desk like a church mouse instead of me taking gut punches from her... I'm very proud of myself for standing up to her.
Itsallaboutthebenjamins well done! This is how bulling will be stopped. They are cowards and they try to find someone weaker to push around. They will run away if you show assertiveness. But the worse ones are the ones who plot with others who have been duped by them.
Many co workers attempted to bully me and I immediately pushed back .They stopped after that first attempt.But now there's a new boss who has tried to bully me several times.I don't like to be forced into confrontations over trivial matters.But I'm planning to report the person to higher ups if it continues.I did push back a few times but the boss keeps trying because I'm not as vocally assertive as some of my co workers who don't get bullied.
You're completely right when you say the majority of bullies pick on those with a small "personable" bubble. They can sense it by your body language and other ways.
I sometimes find our children can be bullies. This not only stops the cycle but teaches them a better way to treat others.
Thank you so much 😊 I texted the bully saying how are you just want to make sure your alright and he blocked me 😂 thank you!!!!
That's excellent, well done!
And it's very funny too!
Nice!!!
Lol, great!,
😆😆😆 That is great. Well done.
He has the problem, not u.
I love this! I’ve shrunk smaller and smaller when with bullies, falsely believing it would make me less of a target. It soooo doesn’t work! At times when I’ve had enough, I’ve let myself take up more space in the room and sit in postures which indicate I’m done placating the bully. It is ASTOUNDING how quickly this supposed brave person starts to look and act afraid of me! Bullying traumatizes us, at any age and we all deserve healing from it! EMDR/IFS trauma therapy is VERY helpful!
Making fun of someone and laughing at their face Touching someone ,hurting someone, calling them mean names stealing stuff from someone breaking or destroying someone's stuff ,following them when they don't want to be followed repeatedly talking to them when they don't wanna talk to you all of that is considered to be Bullying even if it happens on the internet too
This is excellent! Yes! There is something about when you get off of the bully’s wavelength, you are free. You get hooked into them because something about their abuse may actually be resonating with how you think about yourself. Have you ever noticed that when a bully does something so bad that it doesn’t affect you emotionally, that you are free? You think, wow, that person’s crazy and it has nothing to do with me. You’re not even upset by it and the bully disappears.
Yeah, I agree with this. I'd say that was Step One, to be honest. With Expanding Personal Space as step 2 - for damage control. Fending off the bullies is a long way from being respected by or friendly with them, but that is what's needed to control a situation, especially in adult bullying situations at work or education.
Back in sixth grade when I was young I was being bullied I finally had enough and stood up for myself. And I got the respect! Never was bullied again. You just have to stand your ground and speak up for yourself. Best device my mom ever gave me
What do you say then?
@@bettttta uh attack their race or weight or religion.
protip: threaten to bring AR-15 to school.
step 3: ???
step 4: $$$$PROFIT$$$$$
i love the internet 😂🤣
I have a 75 year old bully, who lives next door to my apartment:( , I'm 69.. I didn't know that bullies existed in the senior years, boy am I wrong, and shocked! 😮 She's terrible! Thank you so much for sharing this video, very helpful info:)
I have an in law who is a bully. 70 years old . I am 82.
Nasty old people were invariably nasty young people.
Such numbers😂 Where’s 43???
Do you know their past? I wonder if your 75 year old bully neighbor was a bully when younger or if dementia is making her act badly.
Sometimes your bully is the person you’re married to.
Narcissists
Yeah right.
Yep but 😆u don’t have to stay married to them we have choices in life and u can chose to leave.
@@samanthabriggs5037 some of us did already.
Divorce them then
A lot of times it’s pure jealousy I use to wonder why so many ppl automatically acted like they didn’t like me although I was always very nice to them once I understood it wasn’t nothing to do with me people throw rocks at things that shine I won’t ever dim my light to fit in with the crowd like I use too if people don’t like me ok I like me
That's right. People that are unhappy bully other people.
Thankyou but it's hard when nearly everybody at the school is a bully and you have no friends, but I won't give up!
I have it same
Life is short. if your school is so bad, try going to another one. One who has an anti-bullying policy.
Learn everything you can about Assertiveness.
@@stenionet i know but im not telling my parents, just don't want to make them confused , i was actually want to move but i don't tell the real reason . Hemm I can't wait a year and a half that i can go to the next high schooler
Yeeaa but i wont give up too🎉
Literally the best advice I’ve ever heard on how to deal with the bullies
Sometimes bullies can be within the family : \
A lot of time. They're all over the place.
Bullies are often very jealous people too
Yep, I don't see any other reason for a straight woman to stare at me everytime I come around or walk by. She has that " look at her, she thinks she's cute" look on her face.
Jealousy. They can be so nasty. @@07ikkin
It's so terrible to be in this position. I wish you all get through it and feel your personal power!
I Say game on to bullies. Don't allow another human being to make u live in fear.
Inviting the bully to sit next to you will put you in the “power position”, which lowers the power of the bully. It puts the one who is doing the inviting into the one who controls, in a sense. And very true that approaching the bully shows you are not only unafraid, it goes beyond that. Love that idea! I’m viewing this for a friend who is being bullied. Thank you!
I heard about a school that encourages their pupils to shout "Bully, this is a bully" if they feel they are being bullied.
If a bully says something that is negative about you, say this back to them, " sorry YOU feel that way. " it gives it back to them,it's their problem not yours. And this also makes you realise that person has problems not you ,which immediately boosts your confidence.: )
I went to a public high school in Philly. I highly doubt expanding my personal space would’ve reduced the bullying I received. I’m not sure if inviting a bully to come sit next to me will have the same affect as what you described. What eventually did help, was that I started going to the gym and started getting strong and building self-confidence.
Same thing he said
Doubt not, fear not, neither let your heart be afraid.
People with low self esteem are not always emotionally able to switch their view of themselves just by wanting to. We have a lot of people that come to us for problems of this nature, and they only manage to change the game once they have had psychological support that allows them to heal the issues that produced the low self esteem. It's important to point this out because the person's self esteem can go even lower when they fail to change their thoughts about themselves without help.
I know bullies who have been treated as though they could do no wrong. They are arrogant, and prideful because they have been told all their lives how special and wonderful they are. They haven't been hurt. They just feel entitled to think, say, and do whatever they want to do, and they don't give a flip about how their victims feel. I do not, for one second, believe "hurt people, hurt people." That's a cop out excuse for these jerks.
This makes sense too!
Well I stopped my bully by beating him up with a chair
🤣🤣 thanks.
Proud of you.
Bart Simpson would be proud.
i stopped a person bullying me by throwing a soccer ball at there face
Yes. Works every time. 😁👍
They get it from their parents. Most of the time the boys see their father bullying/ abusing their mother. Behavior is learned from your parents.
That's no excuse once you're an adult you
have to be responsible for your own actions
@@vladimirnoriega5793 I could be wrong but I believe they are talking about bullies that are minors.
☮️💜
simp. alot of woman bully their male members
How would you know that? Do you have first hand experience? In that case you must be one of those bullies
Or actually they themselves are bullied by their parents. Parent bullying is really common though nobody talks about it.
So true. We must appear strong and capable to the world, even if inside we don't feel like it. Walk with confidence like you have a place to be, keep a slight smile on your face, and make eye contact with those around you. You need to blend in, don't stand out from the group. Don't be too smart, too pretty, too popular, too wealthy, too thin or fat etc. Find a couple of close friends and don't try to be part of the crowd.
i was bullied all of my life .even into my teens then i started work and the bullieing started there i said to myself no way .so i stuck up for myself and they backed off if only i new this years ago.
Sorry to know that bro :'(
I hope ur happy with urself right now ;))
Your parents never taught you to stand up for yourself? That's really sad.
Sometimes when bullies get physical then you should always stand up for yourself. Thanks to watching this, the girl who bullied me is feeling upset that she became a bully. She used to be my best friend until I started to study more and focus on my tasks. So she got mad and left me, people knew her as the “Popular girls” By girls I mean by her other friends who she treats like they’re minions. They got tired of it and they left the bully. People starting standing up for me and I felt happy! If I didn’t watch this video I would be getting bruises day by day. Luckily, she stop doing it all yesterday. I watched this video a day before yesterday. Thank you so much. I love the positive energy you spread and help out people!
I am so happy to know that my video helped you! Truly, If the only positive impact this video had was for you, it was worth it for me. Thank you for sharing. Continue to be a positive impact on your friends... You are amazing!!!
But I’m small I can’t stand up for myself
DractoBoy Dunbar Start getting fit
There was a chubby kid at my school, who was bullied, had hand me downs and cheap shoes and his last name was Streets like the ice cream company, so you could imagine what kids said. Yet I admired Master Streets because he had no idea he was being bullied, he was psychologically sound and just kept playing and laughing. He must of had supportive parents, I think this makes all the difference.
This is really unfortunate. People who were abused as children by their parents already have developed a small personal space making them perpetual targets for bullies later on in life. There's no let up. I reckon it would require professional help to develop self-esteem since the parents never allowed it to develop by abusing their child/ren.
Very true Kat. X
My life story
That's true.
Manipulative
I have been throught that🙋🏾♀️
I think today's bullies have evolved past these tricks. What they do now is lie to people that you are the bully and they are the victim and then they gang up on you based on that.
You described Donald Trump to a T!!
@Flora GoodVibes what if it’s your child? You can remove yourself from the equation.
Can’t, i meant
Like my dad dose, mum is just as bad as him most of the time
@@rod7177 yep, they have been into msm way too much.
My friends and i was bullied today and i know how it feels
Thank you Sur 💕💕💕 I will make sure I keep my eyes open for the person who is being bullied by supporting them !
Thank you SO much for sharing this video. Instantly feel so much better after watching it. Keep up your great work!
AtlanticRaven hi I have questions I’m getting bullied into a position that this girl is told I’m fantasizing weird things about her and I’m not. What do I do
@@yanzhenwang9358 alright thanks. U were a year late tho 😂
Same
School headmasters.
I have always found the best way to fix a bully is to break some bones.
But not everyone can do that. If it were that easy, there would be far fewer bullies.
Most bullies are adults and their children are afraid of them so they become bullies- That’s the trend I see- All my life I never met a bully as a child that didn’t have a parent that was a bully
I know one right now..and he is our landlord oh and his prick of a son doesnt understand that civilized people are "supposed" to naturally respect their elders? However, neither do represent themselves worthy civilized and especially respectful & honorable decent people!! However, i intend on "closing the gap" between us and findout whats on the other side of this sinister activity?? (@@)??
Sadly, bullying will never ever perish.
Only when humanity perishes.
@@oldishandwoke-ish1181 Humanity deserves to be destroyed and annihilated.
@@Thagomizer Yup. Our existence was never meant to be.
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When I was a kid I dealt with kid bullies and adult bullies bullies failed to break my spirit they couldn't get the job done I'm a strong man today and I still deal with bullies out in public but I don't let them get to me they don't come at me physically anymore they run their mouth I don't give them the victory they are nothing I look at my bullies as insignificant worthless they got nothing better to do because they don't have nothing important on in their life so they try to bully
Excellent! I wish this was taught in school! You are so confident and likable it is hard to imagine your being bullied. You've overcome it Well.
Thank you man I can tell you actually care.
5 minutes in, I'm still being told what a bully is.
Make it 1.5 speed
this one day i did that thing with the bus, when i did that he looked at me and asked what the hell, he did sit and started joking, but then i started taking those jokes as compliments, like he said i was chuby i said, welp i have been training to get more fit do you know a tip or two? you know things like that, until these day that guy is giving me fitness tips, and he became my gym trainer .-. (ps: no he does not bully me anymore)
That is awesome!! Way to handle it what such a positive attitude and make something great out of it.
man thats cool
if someone bullies me
then i get angry
then bullies pov
run!!!!!
@@andreicabusas8261 gg
@@andreicabusas8261 b
Thank you.. very true bullies are around regardless of age & state of life.
Was bullied as a teenager, but if I ever run into any of those bullies I will thank them. I used that stuff as fuel to become a stronger more successful person. Well I have to also admit that I beat up all my bullies at that time, or shortly thereafter so I guess I turned into the bully of my bullies.
I having been looking for help like this for a while. This is the only thing that has made sense. In Jr high and High School being bullied for me was horrible, but it could change on a dime. As a an adult it is never ending. I believe as we dont realize the damage we can cause. My confidence is the problem. thank you for this. I needed this badly.
Because of the bullies I was dealing with depression
Now I am in process of getting rid of my depression
My mom says I am not enough old for getting bullied
This video helped me thank you
Thank you for the vid but i dont know how to deal with someone who is pretending to be my friend but every time he gets a chance he bullies me.
Ur not alone
Thats true
Leave him
This is the case of your friend but for me it's my husband
I understand that you have a friend pretending to be someone there not and they bully you, unfortunately there not your friend. If you could understood why he or she bully's you and if you could help them through what they are going through, maybe you could become real friend's. What do you think?
The first bully I encountered was my dad. How to deal with that? Truly physically bigger and meaner. How does a kid "obey her parents" when the dad is physically and verbally abusive and the mom stands by and lets it happen and refuses to stand up for the kid?
That's ABUSE. Vial, (usually) Narcissistic and absolutely wrong.
Never be silent. It'll get you labeled, gossiped/lied about and possibly hated by your family but it sounds like that is already happening.
The sooner you begin to put up barriers to protect yourself and demand basic, common decency from others and the sooner you start this practice in your life, the sooner it is a part of you and your everyday life without much effort.
Mom was probably trying to keep you together as a family...Forgive your bully and he can't ever hurt you again...'The only revenge is massive success ' - Frank Sinatra ; )
@@johngalvin3124 no don't make excuses like that that's lousy parenting to stand by and watch your child be abused it's not acceptable to do that
It sounds like you were likely the "designated target" of the family, and the "buffer" for your Mom. As long as your Dad was going after you, he was not going after her. She might even have joined in since she was not the target. Did she try to get you to stay when you left home? Was she always wishing that you were still there?
@@teresafarrell6457 a 3 year old victim can't read your advice... Just saying...
A bully? Like only one bully?? How about those individuals that are dealing with a bully that spread a horrible lie about you creating a shunning from an entire people group? One bully is sooooo incredibly horrible.
A bully that created a shunning from over 50 people is devastating. I’m 59 years old.
When you appear as the most confident person in the school and always tried to befriend the bullies but still get bullied 🦆
One doesn't befriend bullies
Idk how this makes sense bc I have a huge personal space and people still try to bring me down. I think they're insecure and jealous. I tried being nice to them and friendly, but they continue to try to beat me down bc of their insecurity.
You don’t need those negative acquaintances in your life. Distance yourself from them as soon as you can. They are jealous and will try to make fun of everything you do. They are not your friends.
@@williambeaumont1312 bro but how distance from them if they are in my cllg in my class... Theh do's practical with me and hurts me too
The biggest fear of a bully is to totally being ignored.
The problem is that ignoring workplace bullying has negative consequences, as the bully puts people down in front of others; lies, etc. I like Kirk's approach. It fits really well with an observation I have had, too. I think it could be very effective.
I worked with a bully. Everytime that he started his nonsense I silently prayed for him. Then I would write a short note on small slip of paper and put it in a notebook. At the end of the week I would take the notes out and pray for him. At the end of year I realized that he wasn´t going to change and I left my job. It was just too much of a downer to be around someone like that.
You'll always be a victim if you have that approach. Did you confront him, tell him to get off your back..or ask him what do you want ? If you're timid it's like a red tag to a bull to some of these people.... Praying for him ...when he's preying on you. !
@@lookandlisten5740 when you tell them the problem you have about them... guess what, you're fueling them... what he did was better and should also be our response to these slights...
best way: ignore them
but if they attack u beat them up
I was bullied in high school. I am now 67 years old and am still figuring it out. Don’t wait until you are 67.
Bullied must raise the issue to the authorities like parents and teachers. Know your worth, you are human who deserved to be treated well. Fight for your right to express who you are! Do not allow anyone to make fun of you! And lastly, DO NOT BE LIKE THEM!
what if your bully is a teacher
Yes
My biggest bullies have always been my parents :)
Yes@@BaiQla
Thanks but this doesn't really work when you have someone bullying you who is deeply disturbed especially when bosses who bully you abuse their power.
Your comment is a year old now, but I'm curious if you found any strategies in the past year for dealing with your bully boss? Have you tried being friendly to them to see what would happen?
@@raymcmahan5080 here is my suggestion when you have someone bullying you or have a boss who bullies you. Never shown reaction to them. There is a method called gray rock. Show no emotion to them but remain professional. Bullies look for reactions by what you say in your response to them, also looking at your reaction through body language (your facial expressions), how you act toward them like trying to avoid them or by indirect frustration towards them. Bullies want to see all of this because they will know their tactics are working. If someone says something to try and draw a reaction.. I look at them with the expression of a rock. You can’t draw any feedback from a rock. These bullies can read people. It’s hard to do this with bullies because it is our nature to treat everyone the same. Just look at them expressionless but cordial and professional but with no facial expression or negative body language they can draw from to know they are getting to you. I worked for a manager once. I said you always have a smile on your face. She said no one will ever know if I’m angry. That stuck with me. She reacts with a smile in every situation. If anyone angered her, I’m sure they probably gave up on it because she would not allow them to know if they got to her. The advice in this video about inviting the bully to sit next to him was spot on. It may have been the opposite of what he wanted to do in that situation but it worked because the bully stopped.
Pray for them . Still treat them the way you would wanted to be treated . Never become bitter because someone else is. Bullies are just people who are hurt inside .
You have to set boundaries with them.
It's TRUE they pick on someone who seems like an easy target but they have another victim too. If you stand up to them on someone else's behalf and in their eyes attack them then they will turn on you big time
Sorry you were bullied! Thank you for reaching out to help others especially the kids.
Thank you for your help and your support. I really needed to hear this today. Peace to All ❤️
That was good. Very clear ! I wanted to know why some people are continually victimised in life and I think you answered it.
" a bully as a neighbor "
Yep
I am having one at the moment 😔
A Bully as a hurt Colleague feeling intimidated by your work skills and Personality & Lawyer having their hands in too many pies not seeing you for Who you are and What you Deserve 🙈
Right here
Same here and I called her out on bully behavior. Now I have to put up with passive agressive nonverbal behavior.
Yep 😕🙏
“Bully’s “ indicates that which belongs to the bully. Bullies is plural - more than one bully.
I saw that too.
It shouldn't matter, but somehow it does 😂. I found it really distracting.
This might work for children in school. But as it is written; EPHESIANS 6:12
For We restle not against flesh and blood but against powers, against principalities, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in High places"
And that's why you need to increase your personal energy.
And bullies from family members was forgotten...
A lot of times that's where it starts and then you go out into the world and it keeps happening to you. People become attracted to what's familiar - what they know.
Narcissistic bullies need supply to feed their egos, they tear people down to make themselves feel better. I thought as an adult I would meet more mature people but I still get attacked.
Yes, and they have their "flying monkey followers" to gang up on you too. They're very sick people.
I was bullied up to the age of 13 yo. My father taught me self defence, how to attack, maim and completely destroy a bullies ability to re-offend.
He taught un-armed combat in the army, during WW2 and l have followed in his footsteps.