The things I do is because he never gives me stability and keeps telling me nothing of what he wants.. the way he’s doing it to me I’ve done gave up and keeping my distance from him 🤦🏻♀️😞
I agree to some of this but everyone is different and I can understand that. However, I was raised to be... Tough, mentally and physically. Meaning, bad shit can happen to me but I still have to keep moving forward. I was thought that you can be in your feelings at night for only you can validate how you feel because it's nobody's job to read your mind. Like when your feelings are hurt, things that hurt you may not hurt somebody else, but things that hurt somebody else may not hurt you. So the only thing you can really do is come to an understanding.
I presented a concern because my feelings were hurt. Now he refuses to communicate. We can’t resolve problems without communicating our needs and finding solutions to problem solve.
It's a good thing that you're looking for help with this. "Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety." Proverbs 11:14 Maybe you can find subtle ways to remind or inform him that "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry". James 1:19
Perfect timing! Just the other night, my girlfriend snapped at me in a very hurtful way. I immediately got up and went outside. When I came back in, I was not much into talking. Even when we went to bed, we said goodnight and shared a kiss, but I was not in the mood for spooning. I had shut down. The next morning, I sensed she was a little distant, even though we spooned early that morning. When I asked, she said nothing was wrong. I pressed her. And she immediately began blaming me for ruining the night. All she could find was fault in my actions. Never once acknowledged how her snapping affected me. Even admitted that at some point during the night, she realized why I had shut down. But never said anything to me. Didn't apologize and won't, because she feels her snap was minor. It happens all the time. She doesn't take responsibility for her actions. Only blames and finds fault in my reactions.
The way you left the house made her feel you didn’t want to put effort and work on it. Leaving her makes her feel she got abandoned. Maybe it’s better to share you emotion and feelings to say something like, when you say like this, I feel hurt. Then she would adjust her voice and way of talking. At least she knows the reason of the change of your behavior and emotions.
@ahahoho1386 I appreciate the insight, but I didn't leave the house. So there was no abandonment. And just as I could have shared what I was feeling the moment I stepped back in from right outside, she could show concern. Ask me why my mood changed. She has been around me long enough to know when my mood changes. She knew what she had done. But rather own up to it, I'm blamed. Concern is a two way street. Just like communication is. But sometimes you chose not to even walk down the street when you know there will be roadblocks. Roadblocks to your feelings.
@@yt1283I totally understand your situation because my boyfriend pointed this out to me before, so what I am learning to do is to acknowledge when am wrong weather something I said or do, is to apologize to him and he appreciates it a lot.
@@Balsamic_creature she needs to adjust herself in advance, and be prepared that in future not to explode like that. Being reactive and releasing our own stuff in such a way is destructive and a sign of immaturity, plus lack of self awareness. Love overcomes though; women usually open to learning this stuff and appreciate material about self improvement and relationships; so I hope she wakes up in time so as to not ruin her relationship.
As women we all need to realize that men have feelings to Could we all be more realistic and be supportive Yes yes we can do better Not all men are horrible
I realized that I shut down with my ex when I figured out she wasn't listening and refused to look at her own actions. Me being an introvert and having my own interests aside from her was inconvenient. She finally told me a out getting hit on and not shutting it down. Once that happened, I was done.
Thank You 🙏🏽 Absolutely 💯 💯 I say…Never keep what’s Bothering U on “The Inside” that only Makes things 100X Worse‼️ COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY 🔐 Stay Blessed Always Collective 🥰m🙏🏽🙏🏼🙏🏽❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️‼️
I feel that his teachings are always to explain how men think, act and understand them while attacking women. We also need to be understood. We are more emotional than men and more attached. Men move on faster than women cause they lack emphaty
@jhs respectfully disagreeing, men are not less emotional than us, they just don't express it the same way. Sometimes we hurt them way more than we realize, because they won't always explain it to us, because that's risky with the way some women react and or use it against them. We're way worse at taking responsibility and apologizing, if we can get that right maybe more will fall into place because they respond well to this. Both men and women have areas to improve
@@ashton1952 Then how do you explain that when the wife dies 99% of men remarry or gets a gf in as fast as they can whereas most women especially older women would settle being single mom. Men don't love the same way as women so women should detach from delulu. They just need us cause they can't live alone without nurturing and love from women.
The woman isn't SPEAKING to him correctly; not listening? Dude offered to take me to work my first week in training, didn't show up which put me up for being fired, then blocked me when I tried to call to see if HE was okay as in not in a wreck or something. When I did get him on the phone, he said he had to be at work early and that's why he didn't pick me up. So, why didn't you just say that giving me enough time to find another way to work? Crickets. He just accused me of bothering him. BUT, when I pretty much "slapped the crap outta him" with what I did to let him know just how wrong he was, he got angry with ME as if he hadn't done anything. I just came outta nowhere with how I slapped his hand over his behavior. From then on, he claimed to be shutdown; a 'shutdown person' is what he called it. I let him know, like James Brown said, "Mama don't take no mess" and, hey, I guess that's what shut his butt down. Uh-huh.
My husband has given up on life and I'm tired of trying to make up for his lack of interest
The things I do is because he never gives me stability and keeps telling me nothing of what he wants.. the way he’s doing it to me I’ve done gave up and keeping my distance from him 🤦🏻♀️😞
I agree to some of this but everyone is different and I can understand that. However, I was raised to be... Tough, mentally and physically. Meaning, bad shit can happen to me but I still have to keep moving forward. I was thought that you can be in your feelings at night for only you can validate how you feel because it's nobody's job to read your mind. Like when your feelings are hurt, things that hurt you may not hurt somebody else, but things that hurt somebody else may not hurt you. So the only thing you can really do is come to an understanding.
I presented a concern because my feelings were hurt. Now he refuses to communicate. We can’t resolve problems without communicating our needs and finding solutions to problem solve.
It's a good thing that you're looking for help with this. "Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety." Proverbs 11:14
Maybe you can find subtle ways to remind or inform him that "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry". James 1:19
Perfect timing! Just the other night, my girlfriend snapped at me in a very hurtful way. I immediately got up and went outside. When I came back in, I was not much into talking. Even when we went to bed, we said goodnight and shared a kiss, but I was not in the mood for spooning. I had shut down.
The next morning, I sensed she was a little distant, even though we spooned early that morning. When I asked, she said nothing was wrong. I pressed her. And she immediately began blaming me for ruining the night. All she could find was fault in my actions. Never once acknowledged how her snapping affected me. Even admitted that at some point during the night, she realized why I had shut down. But never said anything to me. Didn't apologize and won't, because she feels her snap was minor.
It happens all the time. She doesn't take responsibility for her actions. Only blames and finds fault in my reactions.
The way you left the house made her feel you didn’t want to put effort and work on it. Leaving her makes her feel she got abandoned. Maybe it’s better to share you emotion and feelings to say something like, when you say like this, I feel hurt. Then she would adjust her voice and way of talking. At least she knows the reason of the change of your behavior and emotions.
@ahahoho1386 I appreciate the insight, but I didn't leave the house. So there was no abandonment. And just as I could have shared what I was feeling the moment I stepped back in from right outside, she could show concern. Ask me why my mood changed. She has been around me long enough to know when my mood changes. She knew what she had done. But rather own up to it, I'm blamed. Concern is a two way street. Just like communication is. But sometimes you chose not to even walk down the street when you know there will be roadblocks. Roadblocks to your feelings.
@@yt1283I totally understand your situation because my boyfriend pointed this out to me before, so what I am learning to do is to acknowledge when am wrong weather something I said or do, is to apologize to him and he appreciates it a lot.
@@Balsamic_creature she needs to adjust herself in advance, and be prepared that in future not to explode like that. Being reactive and releasing our own stuff in such a way is destructive and a sign of immaturity, plus lack of self awareness. Love overcomes though; women usually open to learning this stuff and appreciate material about self improvement and relationships; so I hope she wakes up in time so as to not ruin her relationship.
This is my problem too. Voicing the negative than the positive
As women we all need to realize that men have feelings to
Could we all be more realistic and be supportive
Yes yes we can do better
Not all men are horrible
I realized that I shut down with my ex when I figured out she wasn't listening and refused to look at her own actions. Me being an introvert and having my own interests aside from her was inconvenient. She finally told me a out getting hit on and not shutting it down. Once that happened, I was done.
Thank You 🙏🏽
Absolutely 💯 💯
I say…Never keep what’s Bothering U on “The Inside” that only
Makes things 100X Worse‼️
COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY 🔐
Stay Blessed Always Collective 🥰m🙏🏽🙏🏼🙏🏽❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️‼️
Sheeeet I just caused all of it.
I feel that his teachings are always to explain how men think, act and understand them while attacking women. We also need to be understood. We are more emotional than men and more attached. Men move on faster than women cause they lack emphaty
he has a page for men where he teaches about women too. It's called "Stephen speaks for men"
@jhs respectfully disagreeing, men are not less emotional than us, they just don't express it the same way. Sometimes we hurt them way more than we realize, because they won't always explain it to us, because that's risky with the way some women react and or use it against them. We're way worse at taking responsibility and apologizing, if we can get that right maybe more will fall into place because they respond well to this. Both men and women have areas to improve
@@ashton1952 Then how do you explain that when the wife dies 99% of men remarry or gets a gf in as fast as they can whereas most women especially older women would settle being single mom. Men don't love the same way as women so women should detach from delulu. They just need us cause they can't live alone without nurturing and love from women.
Shut down when money funny
The woman isn't SPEAKING to him correctly; not listening? Dude offered to take me to work my first week in training, didn't show up which put me up for being fired, then blocked me when I tried to call to see if HE was okay as in not in a wreck or something. When I did get him on the phone, he said he had to be at work early and that's why he didn't pick me up. So, why didn't you just say that giving me enough time to find another way to work? Crickets. He just accused me of bothering him. BUT, when I pretty much "slapped the crap outta him" with what I did to let him know just how wrong he was, he got angry with ME as if he hadn't done anything. I just came outta nowhere with how I slapped his hand over his behavior. From then on, he claimed to be shutdown; a 'shutdown person' is what he called it. I let him know, like James Brown said, "Mama don't take no mess" and, hey, I guess that's what shut his butt down. Uh-huh.