How He TESTS To See If You're WIFE Material

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 12 янв 2025

Комментарии • 500

  • @hellohi3778
    @hellohi3778 Год назад +822

    If he's testing you he ain't the one. Don't let people play games with you. You're not a child.

    • @outsidethebox8406
      @outsidethebox8406 11 месяцев назад +5

      💯

    • @DezRN
      @DezRN 11 месяцев назад +36

      Playing games is different than paying attention to your actions and reactions. People who date seriously should be discerning.

    • @CrockyDile15
      @CrockyDile15 11 месяцев назад

      Exactly. And I realized if a man feels the need to "test" a woman then he really doesn't like her enough, quite frankly. A man would never even think to test the woman who embodies everything he ever could have imagined to want for himself because he wouldn't want to risk losing her. He'd only ever present his very best self to that woman. If he's risking losing a woman over a FABRICATED scenario, she's likely not his ideal woman.

    • @dianawanjiku15
      @dianawanjiku15 11 месяцев назад +2

      @hellohi3778 exactly

    • @paolaree8004
      @paolaree8004 11 месяцев назад +1

      Right

  • @lindaVp23019
    @lindaVp23019 Год назад +1021

    No need to play games to figure out what someone is about. Have a conversation and listen. Don’t test me.

    • @FriskyTendervittles
      @FriskyTendervittles Год назад +38

      You think you don’t test men? We all do it unconsciously. It’s how we evolved as a species

    • @jennhawkins5356
      @jennhawkins5356 Год назад +18

      I agree, Linda. The specific “tests” that Stephan mentioned in this particular video were rather deceptive in nature.
      If the roles were reversed, how would he feel?
      Lol, a thought that just occurred to me…what if a woman dated the guy and had breast implants, then after a couple dates decided to get those things removed? It’s just a test, right?? Gotta find out what type of man you are! 🤷‍♀️

    • @BB-iy2mk
      @BB-iy2mk Год назад +25

      I actually Find tests a sign of emotional intelligence. You cannot simply ask a woman Look if i would do x thing, how would you React? So you test her. I test men too, not intentional But still

    • @BB-iy2mk
      @BB-iy2mk Год назад +4

      The guy in the example with the car is not Smart, But some tests are Smart.

    • @FriskyTendervittles
      @FriskyTendervittles Год назад +1

      @@BB-iy2mk and usually done unconsciously

  • @jedimastermind007
    @jedimastermind007 Год назад +453

    Once the testing starts, it may never end (even in a marriage) depending on the mindset of the test giver.

    • @coolcat3452
      @coolcat3452 11 месяцев назад +8

      Turning the man into puppeteer & the woman the puppet!!😂😂😂😂😢😢😢

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb 11 месяцев назад

      If it's a monkey...let the scamming begin. 🐒🐒🐒

    • @NinaR1738
      @NinaR1738 11 месяцев назад +1

      Yup

    • @theorderofthebees7308
      @theorderofthebees7308 11 месяцев назад +2

      Facts !

  • @annaa6259
    @annaa6259 Год назад +447

    Real man does not test , he knows . Testing is manipulative players card

    • @thecurrentmoment
      @thecurrentmoment Год назад +5

      They will test but won't go out of their way to contrive an artificial situation to test a woman.
      Life will throw enough tests your way, and he'll just have to observe. But he might 'test' a woman by getting her to participate in a situation and see how she goes. E.g. how will she be around friends?
      But I think those situations wouldn't be contrived specifically to test a woman, I agree with you there

    • @Phantom6lack
      @Phantom6lack Год назад

      Yeah if u like u what about if he doesn’t lol.

    • @drewtill9526
      @drewtill9526 11 месяцев назад

      😂😂

    • @NikitaWolff
      @NikitaWolff 11 месяцев назад

      😂

    • @mabathomosekeli
      @mabathomosekeli 11 месяцев назад +3

      I understand you but maybe men are just tired of being liked for what they have 🤷. I believe a man who has had to deal with that a lot would consider the testing.

  • @willow_pillow
    @willow_pillow Год назад +302

    A man tested me by asking me if he could come over late at night and bring some wine. I got so angry! I just told him to buzz off and thought he was a player.
    Much later he says, I wanted to test you, if you said yes, I would have deleted your number.
    The thing is, I understand the guy, but my impression of him was ruined for a very long time.
    Edit: This man has worked in the restaurant and nightlife industry for many years. He has seen women following men home, because they can get more alcohol at his place. So in his mind, for some women, booze counts more than the man itself and therefore will not be faithful.
    I had to explain, that women thinks the man just wants to have seggs if he asks to come over late at night bringing alcohol.
    So in the end we both was looking for integrety

    • @Teresa23388
      @Teresa23388 11 месяцев назад +58

      Id never talk to them again lol

    • @Mo.1988
      @Mo.1988 11 месяцев назад

      @@user-hm9yw6ue9k lol

    • @willow_pillow
      @willow_pillow 11 месяцев назад

      @@user-hm9yw6ue9k What did I not learn? That men test, or how men test? Would he had come over late at night if I said yes? Perhaps. Would it automatic leed to s..? Not necesary. Would he deleted my number if it happened? Mabye.
      This man actually proposed to me neary two years later and there has been no s..
      He always tells me Im a good harted person, and it was when I asked him how he knew that, he told me about the test

    • @Jacqxzdiva1
      @Jacqxzdiva1 11 месяцев назад +95

      He wasn’t testing; he was starting the manipulation

    • @Taisha12001
      @Taisha12001 11 месяцев назад +34

      I'll never understand how misrepresenting yourself is a good thing. All your really doing is showing why I should NOT date you .

  • @queenstatus3049
    @queenstatus3049 Год назад +288

    My husband said he loved that I never asked for anything. Now he gives me the world.

    • @PositiveDeviantPerson
      @PositiveDeviantPerson 11 месяцев назад +24

      Well my experience was the opposite, that gave way for my ex to treat me like no one not even when I broke my foot or was pregnant. Never again.

    • @vivianamieres
      @vivianamieres 11 месяцев назад +17

      ​@@PositiveDeviantPerson exactly. Not good to be a martir to be loved

    • @YmustTh3w0rldG0r0und
      @YmustTh3w0rldG0r0und 11 месяцев назад +6

      That's a good man that actually loves you.

    • @MB-xv7er
      @MB-xv7er 11 месяцев назад +38

      You got lucky. Most women who never ask for anything are often treated very poorly

    • @ALI-vj3zg
      @ALI-vj3zg 11 месяцев назад

      @@MB-xv7erAGREED

  • @enongenegaty3772
    @enongenegaty3772 11 месяцев назад +81

    I broke up with a guy I truly loved because I noticed he liked testing me. I warned and asked him not to test me. I asked him to live and behave normally with me but he failed to understand. If you're testing me it means you're also pretending and I hate pretenders

    • @jazminerenee4077
      @jazminerenee4077 10 месяцев назад +3

      Yes

    • @patriciamaluta
      @patriciamaluta 8 месяцев назад

      @@jazminerenee4077sam thing happened to me that man was testing me for months smh I was just tired of him being childish

  • @TheAttractionTriggers
    @TheAttractionTriggers 11 месяцев назад +141

    *When it comes to men and dating it's quite simple, just ignore everything that they say, and only pay attention to what they do.*

    • @zaragray6199
      @zaragray6199 7 месяцев назад +5

      Yep actions speaks louder than words

    • @jklmnoqr
      @jklmnoqr 6 месяцев назад

      Yes!
      Actions speak louder than words! That's what I just told a certain man...😊

    • @reneefernandez1563
      @reneefernandez1563 6 месяцев назад

      😉

    • @BUHLEBUZILE
      @BUHLEBUZILE 3 месяца назад

      I have to accept this statement and take it serious because I ignored it and now my heart is broken because I made excuses for him for not behaving and me the way he suppose to

  • @zerodeconduite804
    @zerodeconduite804 Год назад +313

    Psychopaths test, too, seeking their victim.

    • @kimwilson8140
      @kimwilson8140 Год назад +10

      Yes so true, I was a victim but Kno I’m good and healing

    • @Nina-ur3ld
      @Nina-ur3ld 11 месяцев назад

      How?

    • @jesuslovesus8054
      @jesuslovesus8054 11 месяцев назад

      WOW.
      Happened to me!
      They are soooo sooo good at testing if you are the most perfect victim…
      Watch out!

    • @jesuslovesus8054
      @jesuslovesus8054 11 месяцев назад +4

      @@Nina-ur3ldthey are so many ways! Firstly by seeing how easily you allow them to smash your boundaries.

  • @CharCharJars
    @CharCharJars Год назад +278

    When you naturally listen and watch people’s actions, they tell on themselves 🤷🏾‍♀️
    Just keep saying no to red flags 🚩 and work on not being the 🚩

  • @tiffanyyisrael7989
    @tiffanyyisrael7989 11 месяцев назад +161

    If a man tests me I'm failing on purpose. I'm too seasoned for games and unnecessary shenanigans. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Last guy I had contact with tried to test me, by saying he would call, but never did and wanted me to call him first and guess what happened? Yep.........he never heard from me again. Play silly games, win silly prizes. 🤷🏾‍♀️✌🏾

    • @fa9183
      @fa9183 10 месяцев назад

      They want us to chase and fight for them, but that's not feminine. Men are supposed to prove themselves to women.

    • @jazminerenee4077
      @jazminerenee4077 10 месяцев назад +9

      Play with ya mama not me lol smh

    • @cashemaam3sh866
      @cashemaam3sh866 8 месяцев назад +2

      That's right sis ❤

    • @danidadon4282
      @danidadon4282 8 месяцев назад

      Straight like that 💯💯

    • @ibukayov
      @ibukayov 5 месяцев назад

      😂

  • @HD-Australia
    @HD-Australia 9 месяцев назад +24

    If a man asks me on a date, then asks me to pay, there will NEVER be a follow up date as he has just demonstrated he is rude and stingy.
    Red Flag, Red Flag

  • @tashamack8701
    @tashamack8701 11 месяцев назад +75

    That is why i am single mow. I don't have time for tests. Let's just sit down and talk and keep it real.

    • @D.rae.j
      @D.rae.j 7 месяцев назад

      💯💯💯💯

  • @coryjackson6944
    @coryjackson6944 Год назад +151

    I went out on a movie date with a guy and his card declined .. I paid for the movie 🎥 tickets, which he said he would pay back, and he paid for concessions..
    He never paid me back.. We are still cool to this day but I can never see him as a viable life partner 🙂
    So.. Play on player..

    • @enuphsayd9746
      @enuphsayd9746 Год назад +2

      It happened to me

    • @tamarag9981
      @tamarag9981 Год назад +3

      💯💯

    • @remarkable937
      @remarkable937 11 месяцев назад +11

      This reminded me of when I had a first date with this guy and a man I work with said, "You know men always pay, it would be nice if once in a while the woman will offer to pay." So I thought I would do that and offer to pay our Applebee's bill. He said okay. 🤨. We never had another date. Guy at work was like, "He actually accepted!?!? Oh s**t"

    • @sweetcheeks5775
      @sweetcheeks5775 10 месяцев назад

      @@carlyofearththat’s not even a friend. stupid she even stayed in contact with that loser.

  • @Taisha12001
    @Taisha12001 11 месяцев назад +67

    Games are for the immature. You want to know if someone is worth marrying, observe their behavior.

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb 11 месяцев назад +1

      You sometimes can't because they can make themselves invisible while watching you.

  • @sarablackwolfdancer9359
    @sarablackwolfdancer9359 Год назад +68

    Dates are hard enough to navigate without games. If a man shows up in a car that’s not well taken care of, or worse is dirty inside and out, NO THANK YOU. 1) He’s not going to take care of me (not talking about money - washing and vacuuming your car isn’t that expensive y’all), and worse he probably is going to want me to support him. 2) that dirty car is going to get my carefully groomed ass dirty too. I’m not an expensive date, and if a guy is too cheap to take me to Applebee’s, he’s not for me. I can take myself there, tyvm.

    • @carolinekikudji9979
      @carolinekikudji9979 9 месяцев назад +4

      I am with u on that it’s not about money but how u present urself speaks a lot of u are and nah I am not getting in dirty car 🤮🤮😭😭😭

  • @TheGlamourBOXinc
    @TheGlamourBOXinc 11 месяцев назад +186

    My husband never “tested” me in order to be his wife. This is terrible. 😅

    • @theorderofthebees7308
      @theorderofthebees7308 11 месяцев назад +6

      Absolutely terrible

    • @Liz-dragon-street.
      @Liz-dragon-street. 9 месяцев назад +11

      Yes he did .. and you didn't even knew it.

    • @belanda1980
      @belanda1980 9 месяцев назад +1

      You were probably together from a young age. After multiple broken relationships you get more careful.

    • @bertineleinyuy6709
      @bertineleinyuy6709 8 месяцев назад

      Exactly. I was about saying that. Most men do that but you'll never know cz he wouldn't tell you​@@Liz-dragon-street.

    • @julianafrancis5699
      @julianafrancis5699 8 месяцев назад

      I agree

  • @Bluesmoke4200
    @Bluesmoke4200 Год назад +124

    I do not need a man with an expensive car, but a man with a bummy car that he doesn't take care of screams to me that he doesn't take care of himself.

    • @amyitis
      @amyitis Год назад +16

      Yup! You can have a 20 year old car, but do you upkeep it? Do you clean it often? How you take care of your things is a reflection of how you take care of yourself!

    • @alequintana1208
      @alequintana1208 11 месяцев назад +2

      Doesn’t take care of anything rather

    • @MIMIDSH
      @MIMIDSH 11 месяцев назад +7

      Or worse, a bummy car and a filthy house.

    • @teresai1877
      @teresai1877 11 месяцев назад +2

      Yes, and he may even want you to take care of him.😬

    • @geministwin6074
      @geministwin6074 10 месяцев назад

      Not always true....the man I'm crazy about doesn't have a flashy car but his home is layed out!!! 100 inch tv on the wall ..a sofa that sits about 15 ppl comfortably...$500 comforter on his king sized bed.... And he makes good money...he's clean...his home is clean...

  • @debraglows
    @debraglows 11 месяцев назад +39

    Sometimes these tests do more harm than good. Because with some ladies, we have traumas and have trust issues. We judge to what we see. You telling us later on that you’re testing us only can be another lie. So many women end up walking away because we feel safer. Just come as you are. If one of us get hurt then okay. Its life. It’s dating. It’s the risk we took.

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb 11 месяцев назад +3

      Those shit test backfires. I love that part.

  • @nikkimonroe1982
    @nikkimonroe1982 Год назад +85

    Men play to many games... but hate when women do..... its turly sad especially after 40

    • @leticiajackson2237
      @leticiajackson2237 11 месяцев назад +3

      So true! My boyfriend did that and I did like it but I went along with it. I think he was trying to see what I would do in certain situations and he found out. Lol 😂

    • @leticiajackson2237
      @leticiajackson2237 11 месяцев назад +1

      I meant to say I did not like it.

    • @cleothapeter909
      @cleothapeter909 11 месяцев назад +1

      I'm sick & tired of men ..I'm tired of being hurt I'd rather be single

    • @888alp
      @888alp 10 месяцев назад

      😂

    • @bmatika41
      @bmatika41 7 месяцев назад

      And that's when it gets worse (after 40)...smh

  • @mdavid7467
    @mdavid7467 9 месяцев назад +28

    I always pass their test and they always fail mine by testing me. 😅

  • @M72398
    @M72398 11 месяцев назад +36

    Never tell a man how much you make. I made more than my last ex…. And it made him feel inadequate and he constantly tested me. So stupid.

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb 11 месяцев назад +3

      You don't have to tell them. They can just use the backdoor of your phone and find out who and what's funding your lifestyle.

  • @camillecooper1964
    @camillecooper1964 11 месяцев назад +90

    I think men who do stuff like this are not ready for a relationship💯

    • @kiravampira1456
      @kiravampira1456 11 месяцев назад

      And they're only interested in what they can get out of the woman. Seeing some *females* defending them is beyond infuriating, since they would've stopped a long time ago if no woman was enabling this.

    • @theorderofthebees7308
      @theorderofthebees7308 11 месяцев назад +1

      I 100 percent agree

  • @kiravampira1456
    @kiravampira1456 Год назад +37

    "Curious" how much would *he* like if I showed up on the first date looking as if I was homeless, even though I usually look good enough to earn an income out of that. So I mAkE sUrE hE's nOt aFtEr mY lOoKs. Ridiculous in both cases. No one wants to be misleaded. As for the beyond annoying 50-50/"I forgot my wallet" tEsTs, that's why I never accept a date unless the gentleman *guarantees* that it would be his treat. Whoever tries such low-class things, no matter the reason, is too immature and selfish for me to bother with.

    • @urlmel
      @urlmel 11 месяцев назад +3

      Facts it’s that simple 💯

  • @m.h6858
    @m.h6858 11 месяцев назад +109

    What happened to using discernment and taking people to the Lord for confirmation?🤷🏾‍♀️
    BE YOU!!!!!!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

    • @thea7418
      @thea7418 11 месяцев назад +6

      Amen🎉,Proverbs 3:5-6

    • @tjenks7650
      @tjenks7650 11 месяцев назад +10

      That’s what I do… Jesus always come through with the tea ☕️ 😂

    • @m.h6858
      @m.h6858 11 месяцев назад +2

      @@tjenks7650 And do! Lol!😂

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb 11 месяцев назад

      They rather ask a monkey.

    • @mariac6280
      @mariac6280 11 месяцев назад +8

      God knows best for sure. I've experienced it.

  • @letskpitreal6941
    @letskpitreal6941 Год назад +41

    Thanks. I like the shorter videos. Why’s everyone so hurt and complicated. Just be yourself and if the person doesn’t like you cool or vice versa. We all live to have another date somewhere else with hopefully someone better This is why a lot of us good ones. Just opt to stay single. No games period.

    • @elsagrace3893
      @elsagrace3893 11 месяцев назад +1

      Hurt feelings are because needs are unmet.

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb 11 месяцев назад

      To be yourself requires God. In this society everything is universal. Evil wants one gender. So if a man is feeling frisky...it's a good chance he is gonna enter in a different kind of player and like it.

    • @letskpitreal6941
      @letskpitreal6941 11 месяцев назад

      @@elsagrace3893 I get it but move on. Rejection is Gods protection. If ppl learn to live themselves and God first. The pain won’t hit the same.

    • @letskpitreal6941
      @letskpitreal6941 11 месяцев назад

      @@Erica-cf1xb much prayer needed for our society for sure. It’s insane.

  • @sacampbr1
    @sacampbr1 Год назад +45

    Interesting clip….. I agree we need to just be ourselves and stop presenting our representatives. 🙏🏾

  • @ayo_k32
    @ayo_k32 11 месяцев назад +35

    Soon as a man tries to test me I’m GONE.

  • @dawnh8254
    @dawnh8254 9 месяцев назад +4

    He’s 100% with this.
    If my date showed up with a beat up car, I would automatically feel burdened because I’d be thinking… this guy must not be too successful across the board, with educating himself, pushing himself to do better in life and/or managing his money well.
    I’m already pushing myself as much as possible, God, please tell me I don’t need to take on his burdens too.
    Men are very quick how they feel about a woman. Women do the same.

  • @ashton1952
    @ashton1952 Год назад +37

    I'll be honest that I do that with men; I have to know early on whether I'll be able to respect him or not, or whether he'll cling onto me or not. I don't want to waste my time or his, neither do I want to hurt someone a few months down the line. You watch carefully how they react in certain situations, and how they react when you say something that might catch them off guard. Like if they compromise themselves to impress me, or bend with their principles because they're worried too much about my reaction, well that'll put me off. If he'll protect me, if he's genuine or using... Finding man who stays true and strong is important. These kind of things they're not going to sit down and explain in a conversation because a lot of it is subconscious and I find that more truthful because any deciever can plan what to say to charm a woman. So I'm sure men will do the same with us.

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 Год назад +2

      EXACTLY. Thank You Sis! You get it. 💜

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 Год назад +3

      You know how to vet men good. I Love It!

    • @Sunlightsam24
      @Sunlightsam24 Год назад +2

      Excellent approach and agree!

    • @nhodd1
      @nhodd1 11 месяцев назад +3

      Thanks for this. Us women test men too.

  • @emmanuellaumeh1266
    @emmanuellaumeh1266 Год назад +13

    Don't let their need to test you make you less than your best self

  • @yasminogbu8929
    @yasminogbu8929 11 месяцев назад +14

    Ive had men talking about prenups, not knowing I have more money then them😂🤣 They probably won't ask for it if they knew

  • @tinabryan2502
    @tinabryan2502 Год назад +47

    Game planning is for kids

  • @snopure
    @snopure Год назад +45

    That wallet test could easily backfire. I believe in paying for the date if it's your idea, it's at your invitation; it's just good manners. So while I'd be prepared with my own wallet when I'd go on any date, and perhaps offer to contribute something, I would find it very concerning if my date goes, "Oops! Forgot the wallet!" (especially if it smells false), if the date had been HIS idea. It's a little rude, and it just shows he's ill-prepared, like our date wasn't really important to him so he took less care in prepping for it. Plus I'd wonder if he's just trying to lay the foundation to turn me into his sugar mama (wishful thinking on his part). I would not be his best fan. I'd be tempted to respond, "Fine, then next time, how about *I* choose where we go and *you* pay?", that is, if the situation doesn't tip the scale toward making me decline a second date if he asked.

    • @MoonStarr-02
      @MoonStarr-02 Год назад +5

      Damn I wish I knew this earlier I was such a fool I cant believe I was a sugar mama all this time! Last year I realized that as a new person in the dating world that I was in a cycle where I used to pay all the time for dates. I was nice enough and I didnt mind showing that I was reliable not knowing that I was being tested and taken advantage of every single time. Every guy I paid for expected me to pay on the next date and thats when I had to draw the line and Im so glad I learned it sooner than later and Im never paying on the first date ever again!

    • @amandaforrester7636
      @amandaforrester7636 11 месяцев назад +5

      Yes, if I have to pay, I'd see them as unpredictable and unprepared for a life and family.

    • @kiravampira1456
      @kiravampira1456 11 месяцев назад +1

      It's *always* false. *No one* would actually forget their wallet if they intended to take it in the first place. No idea how do some women really fall for this excuse, as it was beyond obvious to me even as a primary school child, with zero dating experience.

    • @MoonStarr-02
      @MoonStarr-02 11 месяцев назад

      @@kiravampira1456 😭😭

    • @Elove450
      @Elove450 4 месяца назад

      I would pay for my portion and leave

  • @128cherylmarie
    @128cherylmarie 11 месяцев назад +3

    I love how you are so full of integrity and honesty about painting the right picture and not Peyton the wrong picture and trying too hard to test a woman's value if she's into money or not or a gold digger. I love how you're up straight up front and total New York about everything. That's the way the New York people are East Coast and also Midwest give it to me straight. That's true love. Thank you and love your RUclips videos. Keep a relationship balanced and real and truthful that's how you get down to it

  • @r3mii-CL
    @r3mii-CL 10 месяцев назад +5

    I stand by this. Testing people is one of the stupidest things you could do. Just talk it out, have a conversation and communicate. Be a damn Adult and communicate, better to practice it early on, it’ll make it easier to do when things get tough.
    Along with not doing those stupid test, just observe how the person interacts with and deals with other people, kids, family stuff like that. You can learn a lot about a person just from observing how they do things in life

  • @MommaARA
    @MommaARA 10 месяцев назад +9

    How a person treats you when you are sick is how they perceive you.
    How the treat you in your worst moment is the level of respect they have for you.
    Stop testing people. It's childish.

  • @michellehanes8136
    @michellehanes8136 11 месяцев назад +8

    The testing usually just upsets the other person. When i was in high school my bf wanted to get married when he go back from his trainings. He did a series of tests an the last test just pissed me off he wasnt spending much time with me and hen i went to the lake with all of his friends but he wasn't there because he was seeing if i would cheat on him. This caused me to leave him.

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb 11 месяцев назад

      He is used to monkey meat. She would of started twerking just because it funny. You did just right.

  • @jennhawkins5356
    @jennhawkins5356 Год назад +40

    I don’t blame him. Especially, if he’s been in a rough relationship before or marriage. You grow wiser over the years. If the guy has kids, etc, it’s important for him to know who you are!

  • @Tnc874
    @Tnc874 Год назад +57

    Look, i dont even bring my wallet to a date so if he forgets his card then we washing dishes.... period

    • @kiravampira1456
      @kiravampira1456 Год назад +4

      Same here. However, I won't wash any dishes (that's not even an option in my country, but even if it was, I wouldn't).

    • @minahminah1954
      @minahminah1954 11 месяцев назад +1

      😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @elisabeth5087
      @elisabeth5087 9 месяцев назад

      😂😂😂😂

    • @eyizooheaudu1948
      @eyizooheaudu1948 9 месяцев назад

      😂😂😂😂😂

    • @chisangaprisca312
      @chisangaprisca312 9 месяцев назад

      😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @GodsIsrael
    @GodsIsrael Год назад +13

    It is NEVER EVER ok to deceive anyone, end of. It's so shallow. A man or woman who feels the need to " test" is obviously incapable of using discernment. Listen to their words. They wil tell you who they are!

    • @NkeciBlake
      @NkeciBlake 11 месяцев назад +3

      Watch their actions and listen to their words. If the two don't match, believe what they do, not what they say.

  • @MarchingFt
    @MarchingFt Месяц назад

    I bounced around as a kid from many different homes and none of the adults in my life taught me how to date. Thank you.

  • @brendahutcherson4323
    @brendahutcherson4323 11 месяцев назад +5

    If one doesn't want a man for material things and was told that in the beginning of the relationship and kept stressing that she didn't relationship where she doesn't need that to love him.Why can't a man just accept that all women are not the same and just wanted to be loved.Why is it that a man can not accept the fact that not all women are out to take from them and truly wants to be love and cared for, needed both emotionally and mentally.She was willing to help with whatever and love him to the fullest.

  • @Rachelle-qs5ge
    @Rachelle-qs5ge 11 месяцев назад +9

    False pretense leads to a real mess.

  • @propheticintuitiondiscernm9541
    @propheticintuitiondiscernm9541 11 месяцев назад +4

    & this goes BOTH ways....
    When in reality, we should all just be straight to the point, instead of asking stupid questions like, (what's your zodiac sign)🤦‍♀️
    & You are absolutely right about the women who appreciate the simple things in life versus the materialistic men who prefer money over love...
    You are absolutely correct, so thank you for seeing BOTH points of view!💖

  • @Handleitt1
    @Handleitt1 11 месяцев назад +4

    Dude threw his opened iPhone on the couch and walked away thinking I didn’t notice the security camera in his home pointing at me

    • @fa9183
      @fa9183 10 месяцев назад

      😮 what

  • @JanetTuttle-cb3xx
    @JanetTuttle-cb3xx 11 месяцев назад +11

    I have no use for someone playing games, I dont care about someones money, I pay my own way and make it clear from the beginning for that very reason. I iam who I am, I want someone who feels the same. Very good points. There are so many red flags but the more I watch your videos the more confident I am getting at seeing them and seeing sooner if they are not on the sàme page.

  • @jwahine4603
    @jwahine4603 11 месяцев назад +13

    If he says, i normally do 50/50. Pay for your own meal, and block him after.

  • @SunSoul212
    @SunSoul212 11 месяцев назад +5

    I think testing for compatibility is fine. I mean getting to know someone is technically testing. They call it testing the waters. But the tests to see if I have low boundaries to take advantage of me/make me jealous shows me you have no self agency or self control and are a selfish human being and I get disgusted and turned off. And annoyed feel betrayed at my time being wasted. I don’t like people who mistreat others because “they let me do it” you’re just a bully. A person of character would never do certain things even if someone had low self esteem and was used to the treatment.

  • @Trinitytruth7
    @Trinitytruth7 11 месяцев назад +1

    Thanks!

  • @kristabland1657
    @kristabland1657 Год назад +30

    I'd like to point out that he quantifies this with MEN and WIFE. Stephan is not talking about those biologically adult males who text women to troll for nudes, chasing after women for a quick ego boost, and mirror the "I'm looking for a relationship" sentiment to hook women into bed and then immediately ghost them after sex. These are not the kind of men that Stephan is addressing here.
    Quality men who want to commit to a woman have every right to test and verify her true character before he confirms his decision. They're willing to look past the superficial aspects of who this woman presents to see the real person that exists underneath. This is something that I deeply respect and I even welcome the challenge of having the right kind of man test me.
    I will also mention that I myself have tested men. It may not be in the same way and manner but I do so in order to verify the true character of a man before I decide to get further involved with him. It mostly revolves around his ability and willingness to communicate. I'm looking for things like how well does he listen, his ability to contribute productively to a conversation, and what he's really looking for when he's talking to me. Turns out, usually within 60-90 days, their true character is revealed. Those who presented themselves to me as burning hot turned out to be narcissistic, unavailable, manipulators, users, losers and abusers.

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 Год назад +1

      Super Facts!!! And yes, I do that Communication test too...cause Communication is Very Important to me in Any Relationship.
      But yes, thank you for understanding sis.

    • @MaggieCano-wu1ek
      @MaggieCano-wu1ek Год назад +1

      Facts I test men too I want to know if this man the right one for me!

    • @chantelleparkinson2494
      @chantelleparkinson2494 Год назад +6

      How do quality men test u? A quality man gets to know you and acts how he usually does, and naturally, the woman will act how she does genuinely! It's complete rubbish. Observe / take note, but to purposely test someone with intention is a no no....

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 Год назад

      @@chantelleparkinson2494 Both. We ask questions and get to know u too. But we may do 1 test. When I was dating regularly in my late 20s, I did that 1 test to see if she has potential to be in my life and I can open up my heart to them. 99% fail...which shows either 2 things to me...and either 1 I don't want...so either they remove themselves...or I do it for them. It is what it is.

  • @kkelsaw
    @kkelsaw 11 месяцев назад +2

    Great video...i believe these types of tests create opportunities for confirmation bias...when someone doesn't represent themselves honestly they will attract that type of person so they can confirm their belief. No wonder some ppl are out here dating jaded

  • @donicaschannel8220
    @donicaschannel8220 11 месяцев назад +7

    Everyone need effective communication

  • @milaniaa.932
    @milaniaa.932 11 месяцев назад +9

    I love when he is laughing 😅

  • @navmarroaming2292
    @navmarroaming2292 Год назад +21

    Critiquing, testing, disciplining....no thanks. I am an adult.

  • @msintutive8694
    @msintutive8694 9 месяцев назад +1

    You still amaze me with your content after these few years. Man,your truly unique. 🙏🏽🥰🔥🔥🔥🔥

  • @ChristianDove7777
    @ChristianDove7777 11 месяцев назад +2

    See I don't play games at all, at all!! Who I am I truly am, it's just most people or men either never really took the time to get to know me, didn't really pay attention to me but just what they felt I could do for them or give them, and or they didn't care enough to sit down and talk with me about real issues because they did not want to deal with me because I was still in pain from other relationships and I was still struggling in the way to respond to others and to heal, since the pain was so great and the healing on my own was so slow until God recently stepped into the process.

  • @93morganmarie
    @93morganmarie 11 месяцев назад +4

    I know someone who gave a man $1,000 when they first met and now he pays a bill for her but I was thinking exactly what you said. He basically took out a loan to pay her back or act like he's doing something nice for her but it's technically her money. SMH

  • @ayishaablake4397
    @ayishaablake4397 11 месяцев назад +1

    This was good! Can you go further on the topic and warning signs of men financially taking advantage of women. I believe that this has happened to me, and now I am trying to find all my receipts and other records for evidence.

  • @nikkimonroe1982
    @nikkimonroe1982 Год назад +10

    Im like this if i go somewhere and the guy "forgot" his wallet i would exzcuse myself and
    Pay for my food and leave.... he will get block it show u are a user and you trying to pay me... if u wanted to go dutch say that

  • @yvettakollega5791
    @yvettakollega5791 11 месяцев назад +14

    I wouldn't go out with a man who expects me to pay on a date. If he has no money and he loves ME then he can find some cheap activities for us to do.

    • @fa9183
      @fa9183 10 месяцев назад +1

      Yeah. They'd never ask their dream woman to split the bill.

  • @melissaayres6347
    @melissaayres6347 Год назад +7

    I would say… if he comments he left his wallet at home… I would, say, “please excuse me while I go to the ladies room.” And leave him at the table!

  • @womaninthebasement
    @womaninthebasement Год назад +19

    My ex husband is that engineer. Makes great money but refuses to invest in his home or car and assumes women that expect more are out for his money.
    This is just a display of inauthenticity to a real woman seeking authenticity. It’s the perfect place for a woman that knows how to run that game though. Women already know men with a lot of money don’t spend it until we get close enough. They have a few years to invest for that and they will.
    That’s how men like this set themselves up for failure. Be authentic or don’t be surprised when you meet your manipulative match. Don’t attract that up front, there’s no need for self-sabotage in dating.

  • @takishacade7531
    @takishacade7531 11 месяцев назад +3

    I'm failing all those test, don't play with me....... and if I pass and find out it was a test, then goodbye!!!!

  • @shawanahickman6952
    @shawanahickman6952 Год назад +22

    I don't like games did that done that. Go play with some kids I'm not the one

  • @Mariamthiam-z6b
    @Mariamthiam-z6b 10 месяцев назад +1

    That’s why I never go to a date empty handed because it’s unpredictable. And I can pay for your meal but if I do you’ll never hear from me again not just because I’ve paid for it but also because things that are important to us we get fully prepared for them

  • @Handleitt1
    @Handleitt1 11 месяцев назад +2

    Dude said some wild outlandish verbally abusive bullshit disguised in full sarcasm with a psycho crazy giant smile! Wtf was I supposed to do argue with Mr big muscles? I ghosted later.

  • @theorderofthebees7308
    @theorderofthebees7308 11 месяцев назад +2

    The fact that folks think , they will have a second chance to play games . The audacity of it all . These games lead to nada .

  • @jjjackson5183
    @jjjackson5183 10 месяцев назад +1

    If a man shows up with a dying car, it says either 1) he has no money and doesn't have his act together or 2) he is possibly overly frugal which could be a problem. If he then talks all night like he's a big success, she will think he is a BSer

  • @ChristianDove7777
    @ChristianDove7777 11 месяцев назад +2

    We are on the same page about the games and men pretending to be what they aren't to test a woman, I understand the reason of wanting to test to make sure you are making a good decision for yourself, but the games show you differently than who you truly are, and to a truthful woman you will come across as untruthful and untrustworthy, and can lose her because of it, and or change her feelings towards you , and therefore may lose her love and respect for you because of it.

  • @bonitavickers4473
    @bonitavickers4473 6 месяцев назад

    Just stay true to who you are is the best piece of advice and if you’re right within yourself you’ll spot the game(s) and swiftly keep on about your business.

  • @cynthiamurray9421
    @cynthiamurray9421 10 месяцев назад +2

    Testing is a bad idea, just talk to a person. That's exactly why I don't date, no games for me. I don't want money! Most people just want companionship, friend etc.

  • @donicaschannel8220
    @donicaschannel8220 11 месяцев назад +6

    Communication is better!

  • @carolinew9964
    @carolinew9964 12 дней назад

    I dated a guy from the dating app he had a motorbike. He turned up in a fancy car and asked me if I was interested because of his car? I was shocked at the question as We had many conversations and I didn't know he had a car I had to remind him. We only went on 4 I don't see him anymore.

  • @MaggieCano-wu1ek
    @MaggieCano-wu1ek Год назад +4

    Yes it’s true I would test a man the same way because I’m not gonna tell someone everything just simple and ppl that are broke flock to ppl that have money just truth

  • @alexiusscott9880
    @alexiusscott9880 11 месяцев назад +1

    Yea, if any of these things was done to me on the first dates, I’m going to react negatively. Regardless, if it’s a game or true life. So if you’re going to play games, purposely you’re going to miss out on a good woman purposely. if you show up to my house in an unreliable car and it’s not taken care of I’m going to assume that’s how you treat your material possessions. I don’t want to be with someone who’s not gonna treat his material possessions with respect and care.

  • @sandramatthew931
    @sandramatthew931 11 месяцев назад +1

    To me, you both gotta be on the same frequency. If you’re not, you can talk all the days of your life, but if you’re not connected in one spirit one accord then forget it…..❤

  • @Natalia-nx2bq
    @Natalia-nx2bq 11 месяцев назад +5

    If the man is stingy Run! How do those men expect to create a family?

  • @cherbear7773
    @cherbear7773 8 месяцев назад +1

    My husband never tested me. He trusts me and knows I'm a good woman ♀️

  • @sarahblasdell5261
    @sarahblasdell5261 Год назад +34

    We all test each other.

    • @888alp
      @888alp 10 месяцев назад

      @@carlyofearth Well said !

  • @jennifersmith1886
    @jennifersmith1886 10 месяцев назад +2

    I recently went on a date with a guy who picked me up in a nasty car. I was done. The date was just ok, but I keep my ride and house clean, so he seemed like someone who's dirty or depressed.

    • @fa9183
      @fa9183 10 месяцев назад +1

      Maybe it was a test 😂

  • @melluques8475
    @melluques8475 Год назад +7

    Love me for whom I am🤔 He was not that man he presented himself🤷‍♀️

  • @neddalakhdarchaoche9232
    @neddalakhdarchaoche9232 11 месяцев назад +1

    Hello Thank you for your great tips Have a great Thrusday.

  • @belindachebukwa
    @belindachebukwa 11 месяцев назад +2

    He said hes committing then went ghost not responding to my texts..when I got pissed with the behaviour and confronted him he had the audacity to say it was a test😂..thats was how i left without looking back..I had given him alot of chances I just didn't tell him it was his last chance

    • @fa9183
      @fa9183 10 месяцев назад

      Usually, when men ghost, you ghost aswell. Mirror their energy and watch them come crawling back.

  • @JazzyJay263
    @JazzyJay263 11 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you, Stephan, so on point!❤️💫💯

  • @rachelj3933
    @rachelj3933 11 месяцев назад +2

    Do not ever start out by setting bad precedents - or ones you don't intend on keeping - with him because he will hold you to them for the duration of the relationship. If you do, then you won't ever have a legitimate right to complain let alone expect him to get right.

  • @93morganmarie
    @93morganmarie 11 месяцев назад +1

    I agree because men and women alike, if you have a more "expensive" or flashy lifestyle than someone else it's usually fairly easy to determine. They often make comments. So faking to be someone else imo is unnecessary.

  • @AnnaLauraMigliorati
    @AnnaLauraMigliorati 11 месяцев назад

    Thanks, I totally agree on the car example. I don't like if a man comes with a dirty car for example...It shows me he doesn't care. And for the second example about the man that "forgot" the wallet...well, I ended up in a relationship where I was paying most of the time. It's a no no for me now. 😅

  • @jennhawkins5356
    @jennhawkins5356 Год назад +9

    So…now that I’ve seen the video, I’ve gotta say, those type of tests are unnecessary and set the relationship for a lack of transparency. It’s deceptive. You can observe other things about her…is she kind to her waitress? Does she have a genuine smile? Does she dress modestly? Is her personality making you feel comfortable?
    I think it’s fair if a man tests how you’ll respond to his silence, figuring out if you’ll be respectful and give him space or if you’re disrespectful and clingy. There are other things to test.
    I agree with the other commenter who said a conversation should figure out the money thing. Ask how you feel about the cash system? What your ideal life is, etc.
    I had a man take me out on a date once and show up in a yellow Lamborghini and be over the top staring at me (I was like 20 and the dude was like 35), and he told me he was “just admiring the beauty”. At that point in my life I just thought this man must be used to taking women back to his house as using them…and not only did his comments and wealth make me uncomfortable (money can’t buy everything), but he made me want to throw up in my mouth by trying to smooth talk me like that. 🤷‍♀️

    • @jayc5756
      @jayc5756 Год назад +1

      I read that 1st paragraph and I laughed super hard. Ma, do you even vet guys properly?? You wouldn't know their true character by just a smile or whatever. We are looking for Good People...Not Nice People. Nice is an Act. We are looking for Who You Are at Your Core. Period!
      But do whatever fits you.

    • @leticiajackson2237
      @leticiajackson2237 11 месяцев назад

      😂😂

  • @teresacryer5872
    @teresacryer5872 11 месяцев назад +2

    I have NO PATIENCE for games. They set EVERYONE up for disappointment. It means they've LIED to you about who they are. Lying to me NEVER ends well.
    I raised my children that Lying was a Capital Crime in our home. If I can't trust you to tell the truth, you don't stay in my life for very long. It's a HARD boundary for me.

  • @reensmunene132
    @reensmunene132 9 месяцев назад +1

    If you are not showing up as your true self, would you expect me to show up as my true self? Playing games is a no for me,.... character reveals itself,just be keen to see

  • @pryscylla_horn
    @pryscylla_horn 11 месяцев назад +1

    No way I would go for another date with a guy like this.
    If I can show up well and make a effort I would expect the same, if he doesn’t dress well, come in clean car and pays for a date how can I later on expect someone who can take care of himself + emotionally support a women and a household. I would never play games and I would expect the same.
    So many different ways to see if someone really likes you x

  • @lisadee.
    @lisadee. Год назад +3

    Test/Facade/Lies; why can't a man just know that he is worthy and worthy of love instead of being under a guise of misrepresentation? Besides that, isn't the entire dating thing a platform to evaluate one another on the basis of getting to know the person to decide whether to proceed or disengage and rapidly disappear. On the other hand, it's foolish for me to not know that males do play that cat and mouse game, as hunters on the prowl and some are more obvious than others, which is why that women better have her shield up and God's discernment, because the quickest way to a women's heart, is through her ears. True That!❤😊
    This is another good one S! It cracks me up to hear you laugh. Keep doing you!

    • @tamarag9981
      @tamarag9981 Год назад

      You know when it really gets interesting? When he is trying hard to protect his wallet and she is protecting her cookie. Lol.

  • @nancychege6777
    @nancychege6777 Год назад +6

    The asking for money i would not see u again nope i dont believe in giving men money means he is not financially stable and if i am what am i doing with him?

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb 11 месяцев назад

      Men today is doing the same thing. Everyone enjoys pain.

  • @JanaeRichelle
    @JanaeRichelle 10 месяцев назад +2

    Oof! What happens when you BOTH "leave" your wallet? 😳 Guess it's better to either not play games or come prepared. 😏😉🤷

  • @sandramatthew931
    @sandramatthew931 11 месяцев назад

    Yep, that’s what my partner did to me. He had me waiting in a restaurant for two hours and told me a year later that it was a test and that how I have beautiful Patience.😊

    • @nyathomas4717
      @nyathomas4717 11 месяцев назад +6

      You think that's cute? God bless your heart.

    • @sharleenmike7373
      @sharleenmike7373 11 месяцев назад +4

      And you waited for 2 hours 😮. Joh asoze, that reeks desparation. Partner tamed you and trained you well right on the go.

    • @sandramatthew931
      @sandramatthew931 11 месяцев назад

      @@sharleenmike7373 he is my husband now my dear so it is fine he trained me well to be his wife 🤗🙏🏾🙏🏾💜💜

    • @sandramatthew931
      @sandramatthew931 11 месяцев назад

      @@sharleenmike7373 7 brothers 7 different minds 😊 I am in love 🥰 that’s main thing

    • @sandramatthew931
      @sandramatthew931 11 месяцев назад

      @@nyathomas4717 Yes I do think it’s cute God has blessed me thanks with real man🤴🏿

  • @alexandrarodriguez3057
    @alexandrarodriguez3057 11 месяцев назад +9

    You don’t have to do nothing to prove a men your wife material all you have to do is pray 🙏🏼 and god will make that men heart beat for you if that’s who god wants you to marry !

  • @lgreen7299
    @lgreen7299 8 месяцев назад

    Testing meaning figuring out who he or she is, how they handle certain situations how they handle stress..How do they treat you etc. I don't take that word as playing games but I understand why it would be taken that way too. Just like we have to make sure he's the one they have to do the same thing.

    • @rarashideout
      @rarashideout 8 месяцев назад

      Evaluation is good, but testing is not. As you get to know someone, you need to evaluate them(I am learning this the hard way). You need to know if they actually love you and if you also love them back. Cos some men will tell you I love you, but they don't, so you need to evaluate their words by looking at their actions, consistency, and intentionality. Same as you need to find out if you also love them. So you both are on the same page. This Evaluation comes from being observant to their words and actions in natural occurrences.
      However, when you or they have to create a fake scenario to know or see how the other would react, that's testing, and that is not good.
      Just observe them in natural occurrences.

  • @paulahamilton3018
    @paulahamilton3018 8 месяцев назад +1

    It's dishonest. If someone tested me in this way, I would feel that this is a man that I would not be able to trust

  • @victoriariggs8643
    @victoriariggs8643 Год назад +7

    ✨ That is great insight into who I am and what I like.
    Down to earth and also enjoy the finer things in life.
    I would have to say one of your predominant Love Languages is giving gifts.
    The balance in that is her predominant Love Language as well.
    Something to consider so you don't miss out on your Destined Princess.
    ✨💖✨🔥✨💖✨