The Darkness - The Age of Darkness (Official Audio)
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- Опубликовано: 4 окт 2024
- Taken from the new album 'Motorheart', out now. Available to order / stream now: TheDarkness.ln...
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Lyrics
Dragons breathing fire
Goblins in the shire
A windswept misty mire
Preaching to the choir
In a hovel eating mud
In chainmail stained with blood
The monks are chewing cud
A mace falls with a thud
Buxom wenches serving mead
Maidens waiting to be freed
Upon my trusty steed
Like in that game Assassin’s Creed
Giants grinding bones
Peasants armed with sticks and stones
A dying hunchback groans
Like in that program Game of Thrones
Bishops come to blows
Crusaders with crossbows
4 and 20 crows
My fingers look like toes
Elves keeping the peace
The battle will not cease
A princess I release
Watch my wealth increase
A cauldron full of ham
Fear the battering ram
Sacrificial lamb
Hear the drawbridge slam
Dung piles up in heaps
Dungeon master creeps
Another pustule weeps
And sleeping beauty sleeps
Stretching on a rack
Dressed in a hessian sack
Trolls whipping my back
Catapult attack
Behold my mighty sword
I’ll strike you like a chord
If you do not applaud
Bring me my reward
I wield a jousting lance
In pantaloons I prance
Minstrels yell “Pray dance!”
Dwarves look for romance
Wizards casting spells
Drinking out of wells
Making unpleasant smells
A passing merchant sells
A gauntlet for my hand
The battlements are manned
The battle plans are planned
Enemies be damned
A princess kissed a frog
Ogres in a bog
Spit roasting a hog
Dead horses to flog
The slightest scratch will fester
Chuckle at the jester
Forgive me if I pester
A medieval quester
Demons we must vanquish
Dust off the pear of anguish
Squeeze them ’til their heads squish
Merlin, grant me 1 wish
The stocks await my foes
My codpiece grows and grows
Prick of a thorny rose
And off to sleep she goes
Upon the forest bed
An arrow through the head
We all make our own bread
At 32 you’re dead
A horn’s distinctive parp
The plucking of a harp
The taste of fresh speared carp
My trident’s nice and sharp
Martyrs kings and knights
Everyone in tights
Brutal bloody fights
To avenge imagined slights
The thunder of a hoof
Only got one tooth
Clairvoyants saying sooth
Thatched or blue slate roof
And walls made of manure
A bucket for a sewer
Torture we endure
And leeches are a cure
Witches in the moat
Burn them if they float
A dagger to the throat
Worshipping a goat
A stoney faced abbess
A damsel in distress
An unsightly abscess
The swamp is your address
4% support here we go
Here to give Jenny her 4% 😂
SAME HERE
4.3% to be precise
Ditto 😅
👍 Jenny
same !
This is incredible. Like Dan just having fun on his own after everyone else went home.
If I ever get married, this will be our first dance. It’s beautiful.
“My fingers look like toes”
Lmao
Incredible, sounds like Jack Black style with Tenacious :D
"Like that game, Assassin's Creed" OK, that got an actual guffaw from me.
Well played fellas, well played.
This absolutely slaps. 10/10 no notes
The next big RPG game need to adopt this song as its main theme!!!
In college I had some noisy neighbors who kept me up all night and morning so one day I put on the "Arc" cd from the Neil Young and Crazy Horse special edition of "Weld" on full blast and repeat then went to work letting it play at top level for 9 or 10 hours. That disc was nothing but feedback from the live disc. Now I will do that with The Age of Darkness. Not only will it get Jenny and the boys some cash but it would make friends of my neighbors rather than enemies!
Hahahaha this AWESOME FUCKING HILARIOUS 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why can we only press the like button once?
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍... 😂🥰
Lets get this as #1 in the Christmas charts
anything with goblins makes my head whip round
My kingdom for a full album of this!
Iron maiden meets Tenacious D 😛
Dude, you nailed it.
Lol
For Jenny May Finn publishing! 😂
So good that I'm considering switching from Solid Gold to this as my funeral song
Agreed
Listening to this song for the lady on Justin hawkins rides again😂 she needs her percentage!
Dan definitely channeling his best Bruce Dickinson impression.
But....But it's not Dan!!
@@Trebarwith I agree. It doesn't sou D like dan
@@Trebarwith it's definitely Dan, surely
@@StevenTwoTwo Yes. Yes it is. It would appear I'm a fool :(
Been listening to this for about an hour on repeat, still not done 🐉 🔥 ⚔️ 🐴 🍖🧙♀️ etc
Amazing! Should have been the last song on the album instead of a bonus track for japan
Best song Iron Maiden have ever made
Everyone in tights... Yes.
another few pence for Jenny hopefully
I adore this. Mel Brooke's Men in Tights and Monty Python and The Holy Gail.
Saw him doing this on instagram, definitely Dan, having fun!!!!!
Yeah, if you listen to the line from the video clip where Dan messed up, you can hear something else in the background.1:03
Huh. Who knew "Play Dungeons and Dragons with The Darkness" was going to make it on my bucket list today?
Thee needs to be a animated video for this song. Would be cool
OOOOOHHHH Yes
Please let this be the opening song of The Darkness: The Age of Darkness Musical. It's a banger!
This is just fantastic! The amount of lyrics here is just amazing. What a job singing all that. And with increíble conviction. Fantastic. Love the porridgy riffs too! Amazing song
wish I could like this twice
This is now my favourite song of all time!
The lyrical genius is on another level!
I didn't know there was going to be a Japanese exclusive track, definitely going to make the purchase!
I don’t have this track on my album. I want it!
Epic,
I love this,it's great fun.
Lyrics are fantastic.
Maiden in a junior school poetry lesson. I like this!
Pure amazing
This is so epic!
Exceptional track!! I hope you'll make a medieval themed album next. This is so great!!
Loving the Stewie cameo at 2:40 🤣
I noticed a song I hadn't heard before by The Darkness and began dishes. Thought I had them all listened to. Guess there are some bonus tracks I need to catch up with. Anyway, this started and I murmured the exact quote,"what in the hell"s going on?" Went to go look at my phone, thinking it got off the playlist somehow....then I said, "Oh it's that one I hadn't heard"...and THEN immediately thought, "Ha, that's Dan!" ....What a wonderful gift. 👍🤣😊 It would be great for a future album to have the other three doing a lead vocal or two as well.
Well, Conquerors off Last of our Kind has Frankie singing lead.
This is brilliant.
Brilliant! 😎🤘✌
Love It!
Glad I found this as it saved me from splurging on the Japanese edition. I can be happy with the regular 12 track deluxe.
Great song!! Great vocal!! Djent on, Dan!
Now knowing Dan did this, it all makes a lot more sense
Sounds like Bowie's forgotten theme tune for a cancelled 1980s Dungeons & Dragons movie.
Also awesome! This album is absolutely fantastic. Hail The Darkness!
Amazing as the japan-only bonus track!!! 4:55 song by Dan💕
Thanks for the info -- was wondering what this was. I pre-ordered the deluxe edition and this isn't on it, so I was wondering "Where's this from?".
Doesn't sound like him at all. Thanks for the info, I would have wondered.
Not cool lads, we all want this song! 😂
Holy hell
Outstanding
The Majesty of Rock Pt II
four and twenty crows
my fingers look like toes
This is amazing 😂
F-ing brilliant ❤
Thanks The Darkness. glad you have not lost your sense of humor. The Album is fantastic and this my favorite
Wow!🔥😍💯
Dan needs to be narrating books and movies. I mean, in his spare time. 🤔
Hail hail to The Darkness! Dan is a great singer. They should give him the vocal job more. I do like Justin too though. Good times hearing The Darkness always. Puts me in a good mood all the time
Dan Hawkins:
Burn the Witch (Silver Spoons & Broken Bones: 2008)
Dan Hawkins:
Witches in the moat
Burn them if they float (Motorheart: 2021)
This man has an issue with witches, someone has done black magic to him
PS I adore him, I am just kidding
4% !!😁
Fucking love it. More Darkness madness please as a double album for record day next year
Until then.....In pantaloon I'll prance!
Ah, great song as written by the unsurpassable Hawkins, Hawkins, Poullain, Taylor and MAY
Nice 👍
Reminds me of Brandon DiCamillo from my cky days
The man mastered English language
Now I need my dictionary
Hilarious! :) Thank you, The Darkness!
Iirc there was a video of Dan singing that song in the band's facebook a few months ago.
Love this!
All I know is I loved it
Dan. Dan. Steely Dan. So. Many. Words.
The last thing I expected to see was a "Taylor, May" writing credit. ;)
🤘🖤🤘
If this isnt an homage to Ronnie James Dio, I dunno what is. RIP
A li'l' bit of Sabbath 'n' Manowar
too...1,25x speed : Maiden ; 1,5x
sp. : Sabaton ; 1,75 : uuhhmm...
( maybe...) Motörhead ; 2.0...
Speed metal, man !.
DAMMIT, have to wait until tomorrow to get mine.
Great track! Sounds like the vocals could have been moved back on the DAW timeline by a few milliseconds to sit slightly more behind the beat in some sections. Feels a bit rushed at times. (Everyone is a critic, I know) Love your stuff!
Haha! Love this!
I have a feeling that this could have been over 10 minutes long but they cut it for the album. If so, I would pay good money to see a full version XD
JEBUS, I FEEL LIKE I HAVE BEEN STRETCHED ON A RACK! I think ill play this on repeat loudly answering the door( back lit from stobes and smoke machine fog) in tights.....to drive out all the drug dealers in the building LOL
Do a prog album as a vocal duo! Do it!
I don't mean acapella, with guitars and that still, so the Darkness, only Jus and Dan singing...
Well this is brilliant!!!
Must be Dan singing.
Definitely ‘full of ham’ 😂😂😂
Justice for Jenny May Finn 😂
I feel like fighting a robot hoard
This is seriously Hot!!
If D&D went Darkness
Am I the only one that thought it was Jack Black singing?
lISTENING FOR YOU JENNYMAYFINN!
Is that the voice of a knight that asails my ears?
Sounds like a posh pirate, very funny
More Jenny Finn 🤘🏻
Anybody have the outtakes to this song?
Could it get any epicer?
Max
Sounds like jack black ;) It could be a tenacious D song
Where's the key changes in the vocal.
My fingers look like toes lol
That when one’s CD/iPod/iPhone skip button >>>> comes in handy ✌️😀