Ready to change your life? It all starts with asking yourself the right questions. Get the 11 questions to change your life now (free gift for yt subs): www.clarkkegley.com/free-questions
For everybody going through a breakup right now, lemme tell u something, it's gonna be okay, give it time. Now you're grieving, but in a few months, it will hurt less and you're gonna find inner peace. Keep going. Don't consider your relationship as over, consider it as completed, it's gonna make a huge difference. May God Help us.
I’ve got an ex I call “Asteroid Boy” because our collision sent me off on a trajectory I could never have imagined. Led to a complete change and total fucking growth.
“Write out what you would be willing to commit to in a partner in the future”. I did this a couple a years back : ) Awesome thing to do. It made me realise how little the “dream” ex was actually giving. And what I was capable of instead.
Pray tell, how can I do and feel the same. I'm a guy, and I'm sick of feeling devastated for 8 months now, when the relationship I had with the girl didn't even last that long...
@@FBread-xj8qkAll I know is …time will lend its healing ❤️🩹 hand upon you 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 Feel the pain, let it all out and it will make you feel lighter and better little by little. One day at a time 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 you got this 💪
Loved the part about "don't suppress." It brings me back to a quote I once heard: "The greatest pain comes from trying not to feel that which needs to be felt."
@@reef2980 -- it means if you feel like crying, do it. If you feel sad, feel sad and spend some time processing why you are. If you are in pain, don't pretend you aren't and whatever you do, don't self-medicate. Otherwise, you just make the underlying pain even worse and it will come back to get you.
@@babyyoda4942 Taking one day at a time, depression is still there but getting better. using this breakup to become the 2.0 version on myself like Clark says. Quit smoking weed for good because of it so i guess its a blessing in disguise, im not understanding totally what went wrong. you just cant actually and thats ok we should not ruminate on what could be and what we did wrong. a breakup doesnt mean youre less than. Smile because it happened. Its better to have loved and experience loss than to not have loved at all.
Im at week 6 after finding out about my gf cheating. shit is so much better now, im actualy surprised how much ive bounced back in that small amount of time. HOPE YOU ARE DOING A LITTLE BETTER NOW MRSTONE
My gf or ex and i broke up 5 days ago. It's crazy how most of us that are going thru this feel almost the same thing. For me it's terrifying to have this emotional roller-coaster, especially when being numb. I really need to let my emotions come out, feel them and lean into the pain. I juat hope it does not last that long so that i can move forward again 🙏🏽 I wish everyone else good recover in the process
@@MJ-gh9bl Hang in there. Try and use this time to reflect and work on your values, own them and take back your life. Sending you all the love and strenght, you are not alone in this
Completely agree with all of this. I got yoked after I was dumped and now I love training hard. Even though it was the most painful time of my life, I look back on it and feel extreme pride and it's one of the best memories I have.
Reading comments on these kinds of videos is really healing. Damn near all of us experience heartbreak and just feel completely lost afterwards. My gf and I broke up today and not gonna lie, I’m crying while typing this. Fellas if you’re reading this and you think it’s “unmanly” to cry, let those fucking emotions out. Edit: I don’t know how to deal with step 4 on my current breakup. I did it on my last but this time is different. I see her at work and we share the same friend group which hangs out at least once a month… We ended things mutually but I really don’t know how this is going to work
Needed this in my teens and early 20s. Lost a coworker and friend in 2011 because her husband shot her, then himself because she wanted a divorce. We got to LEARN about our emotions or be controlled by them.
amazing video . Due to previous separations i’ve learned the value of consistently working out , built an investment portfolio, learned a ton about attachment theory and communication. while it was hard at first it really put me in a great trajectory for the future
Great advice. I was in the ‘numb out’ phase and it was brutal to my soul and poor liver 😣 Surviving that dark night of the soul was a blessing. I couldn’t be who I am now in that past relationship. I hope people can find some relief 🌟
It feels reaally disappointing because I thought she was the one, and it just feels like she doesn't like me as much as I do. It hurt my self esteem and respect especially because i was selfless in the relationship. Thanks for the advice here, it makes me feel less alone that others are struggling with the same thing. It will get better.
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
the universe always provides. Currently heart broken, hadn't been on your channel In a little.. and what do you know. A video just for me. Thanks man, I appreciate you
After you felt what you needed to feel and acknowledge your loss, then you need to place yourself in a position to forget, that is, avoid contact with the person as if they did not exist, because they are nor part of your life anymore and the sooner that’s embraced the sooner healing will complete its course. That is what he meant :)
That 11-week rule is wild I wish I heard that 4 years ago now it's a different girl but shit would have saved me so much damn heartache back then and these past couple of weeks lmao
1st week after our breakup, fuck this feeling man! I feel awful. It hurts a lot. Really really hurts. I wish someday I could back to this video, and say I'm strong.😢
I think this applies to some situations but not all. No one should go back to an abuser but sometimes life is more complicated sometimes a breakup happens for a benign reason like an unexpected move or something.
I think that erasing their digital footprint on all your devices is more effective than just blocking or unfollowing them. Mute their posts, stop checking their social media, delete chats, delete pictures… if you’re like me and you’d use these to get a fix or get triggered by them, erase their digital footprint on all your devices. Otherwise, you’re prolonging the healing process. I still can’t bring myself to unfollow or block though because it feels too drastic compared to how civilly the break up went.
You've got to unfollow. Doesn't matter if you broke up civilly. You're doing it for yourself, for your personal growth. You're putting yourself first, not the memory of the relationship. I think that sends an even better message than if you were to follow them, not that sending a message should be why you do this.
The reason people obsess with how their ex is doing is not necessarily because you still love them and want them back, in fact often times you know you want something/someone different...The real reason is you have control issues. Once you understand it's not love that keeps you thinking of that ex, you should and will start moving on. Give it a few months and if you can, make new friends and connections or reach out to close existing ones..New interactions will become more important than old ones by pure recency bias. Your heart and mind will instinctively say, ENOUGH! when the time is right and you will come out on the other side hopefully having learned how you can be a better partner when the next person comes along.
Wife of 4 years... Just told me she was leaving Sunday morning and has not spoken a single word to me since. Feel like I'm a ghost in my own home and I have to see her morning, noon and night. She made it even worse last night because when I climbed into bed she got up and went and slept on the couch. It's like death by a thousand cuts because I have to watch her packing her things, move, etc. It's going to take months. There is no ripping the band aid off and just deleting photos and phone numbers, etc. This has been absolutely unbearable...
@@Lils3m Thank you for asking. Oddly, things have gotten better over the last several weeks. I swear that some days I'm not sure she doesn't have a personality disorder. She goes to bed Dr Jekyll and wakes up Mr Hyde. Lately, we've gotten along well, but I'm just holding my breath for the next blow up. If this one does not work out I've promised myself that I'm going to remain single for a very long time. I'm done with it. It's just not worth it. After all, the bible says that it's better to be alone than with a quarrelsome wife. 100% true. How are you?
@@ctgeorgia Glad to hear that it has gotten better. But it sounds like it must be extremely though to be in your situation... I agree that it is definitely better to be alone than with somebody that slowly sucks the life out of you. Of course in all relationships there will be problems, but the - let's call it - effort/reward ratio should be reasonable one for both parties, and no one should sacrifice too many pieces of themselves to keep something going. I don't know if you're both open to that, but has she considered therapy? It sounds like it might be a good step into diving into the root of the problem. When it comes to myself it's been tough few months for me. I'm 26 and I've been dating someone that is 7 years older and I think that the age-gap in our case makes too much difference for me (for many different reasons) to keep this "relationship" going. It seems that it would be the best for me to let this go, but I just can't bring myself to do it due to some feelings that I feel for her. But I think I'm just delaying the inevitable
Phase II is what I call the 90 day no contact period. It’s needed to disengage your emotions and break the feelings of connection. You don’t see, hear, or engage with them in any form. It helps the healing process and forces you to focus on yourself.
No contact is the most painful method to get over. I have done both. Spending my time after break up with contact and without contact. After my divorce I stayed on contact with my ex wife and I got over her pretty easily. I saw her flaws and bad attitude every day and my desire towards her died out soon. She was just an average woman for me I did not want back. With my lovely gf who dumped me out of the blue without any serious reason I started the no contact. And it is damn terrible. I think about her damn every day. I miss her more and more. I idealize her. I can not get over her at all. After the last break up and during the no contact I am actually the human wreckage. I hide this and I make brave face but I am destroyed inside.
Step 2 advice is so solid. I tried to be friends with my ex for 3 years and we finally just cut ties. We dated for 2 years and we lived together as roommates for a year and a half after. I def held out hope we would get back together even though I dated others. Once he said he wanted to focus on himself but he still wanted to be friends. I had to be honest with myself that I knew I wanted more. So I made the decision to cut ties all together. Deleted all pics, text and his number. It’s not easy but it’s def the best thing you can do. I’m only 5 days out of the separation but I have accepted and began the process of letting go with love and appreciation.
Stumbled on this video and have never seen your stuff before. All excellent advice but I really want to commend you for providing honest and humble advice. So tired of seeing other influencers push toxic advice shrouded in some BS masculine agenda As a dude. It’s okay to feel sad and hurt because you miss a girl that you loved. And depending on the situation, your ex may not deserve to be viewed as some worthless commodity. You don’t need to demonize your ex to move on but you do need to move on and the advice here is a healthy way to start.
to a much lesser degree you also have to deal with electronic ghosts when people are not metaphorically but actually dead to you. I had to deal with stuff like that after my mother died a few years ago. removing her number from my contacts archiving message threads removing buy gifts reminders from my google calendar etc. obviously this is not someone I am trying to forget but cutting down on the little electric jabs that she isn't here anymore helps a little with the grieving.
I think the worst part is that I have to accept that the breakup was equally my fault as hers. Which hurts so much because I feel like I failed her and myself. It would be so much easier if I could just hate her and be angry and just whatever but I can't and I have no idea how much more tears I have left
The hard part is probably removing pics of him and my kiddos and all these happy memories to delete involving my kids. But I gotta do it. I'll go get a USB on Saturday and get it done
We've been dating for two years and turned out that he was seeing someone else for almost half a year. It hurt so bad that i cried every minute, hadn't eaten anything until now, and then after our break up, he promised me that he would change himself for me, and after a few days, he said that he would go to the girl he cheated on me with. I feel like dying because he broke my heart again. I feel so stupid for not wanting him to go after all he did because i really love him, and now that it is all over, i don't know how to help myself forget him.
Time. And no contact. Resist every urge to check their socials, visit the places you know they’ll be at. Just don’t. Venting, friends can only take so much a counselled or therapist helps at this stage. Just take each day step by step. The pain will fade in time, trust in yourself to get through this!
Wish I could control time... To rewind and go back, change my actions and behaviors to prevent this pain Im feeling now. To fast forward and skip to a time in the future when this pain has gone away.
Thank you Clark for sharing this video. You have put a lot of time, energy and effort in this. This will help a lot of people. You are amazing! Thank you for being You!! 😺
I agree with everything but…deal with an ex-wife after 23 years of marriage and two children in common. I ‘ll survive surely but it will be not easy to struggle. Cheers from Switzerland!
idk why these creators are not talking about Divine Goddess Appeal by Lentlish, you can literally attract your ex back after reading that forbidden knowledge
What helped me was... after he discarded me the second time so cold and without remorse.. a friend told him that she thinks i would do something bad to myself... he texted back "lol, im high and i dont wanna bother with it"... after a 2.5yrs relationship and he moved on asap... this put me instant in the "fuck you" phase... all of my "but he is my pookie" feelings went to rage... using this rage to hit the gym, make music, new tattoos etc etc ... the only thing im crying over is that i was so dumb to trust him and looking over all the red flags..
"ONCE YOU BECOME A PICKLE, YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK TO BEING A CUCUMBER." I haven't laughed at something so silly yet wisely true like that for a while now, thanks! 😊
If I were in my 20s, this break up wouldn’t have hurt so much, but now at 32 out of a 6 year relationship. It feels like I’m one of the those left over singles. I’ll die alone 💔
I am so sorry you are going through this 🤗 I am also at an older age and both my siblings got engaged when my relationship went to shit (we officially broke up yesterday). I feel like it's too late for me, and I feel I am somehow broken or not good enough for people to choose. But I know this is my pain telling me lies, and in actuality being in your early 30s is actually young 😊 Wishing you strength 💪
Im 31 and just broke up too. Can relate. But i also remember a family friend who dated and got married in her 50s... Although in my case i guess its unlikely since i dont meet enough people
Its an icy sorrow that i was ghosted after what has seemed that things were going so damn well then vanishes, but the blood rage i have its that i want all my invested time and efforts back. If only i can have my efforts back, >:'(
Love your videos, as always you're incredibly wise and you know how to speak in an amazing engaging manner. And it is cute how when you will share a personal story you ask if it's ok with us. Thanks for sharing all your knowledge, stay safe
I broke up with my lady friend a year and a half ago. I guess I am going through dumpers’s remorse. Three months after we broke up, she met somebody and was dating. I think now she has a friend with benefits. I am still going through Sadness. Trying to get out of the slump. I can’t stop thinking about her.
My (now ex) bf decided it was acceptable to break cups and glasses. Im flying back to my home country on tuesday. So im watching this to properly commit to break up instead of forgiving him again and again since it'll only escalate into something more toxic in the long run.
the video is total crap No contact is the most painful method to get over. I have done both. Spending my time after break up with contact and without contact. After my divorce I stayed on contact with my ex wife and I got over her pretty easily. I saw her flaws and bad attitude every day and my desire towards her died out soon. She was just an average woman for me I did not want back. With my lovely gf who dumped me out of the blue without any serious reason I started the no contact. And it is damn terrible. I think about her damn every day. I miss her more and more. I idealize her. I can not get over her at all. After the last break up and during the no contact I am actually the human wreckage. I hide this and I make brave face but I am destroyed inside.
It true about keeping contact with your Ex is a bad idea. Because i learned it the hard way. We ended up giving others mix signals, getting upset with each others often. And ended up having a worst falling out then when we actually broke up. I wished back then i know it would turned out this way and just leave and block them
Ready to change your life? It all starts with asking yourself the right questions. Get the 11 questions to change your life now (free gift for yt subs): www.clarkkegley.com/free-questions
The fact that I’m still alive after all my failed relationships is good enough.
Well reasoned conclusion
are you though? maybe we’re all dead already 💀
I hear you
Understood
Relatable brother
For everybody going through a breakup right now, lemme tell u something, it's gonna be okay, give it time. Now you're grieving, but in a few months, it will hurt less and you're gonna find inner peace. Keep going. Don't consider your relationship as over, consider it as completed, it's gonna make a huge difference. May God Help us.
thank you , looking at it as completed is great advice
Amen
Thank you
Thank you.
are you sure...? for me, she was everything for me...i dont have anyone left in my life now...will i be okay?
I’ve got an ex I call “Asteroid Boy” because our collision sent me off on a trajectory I could never have imagined. Led to a complete change and total fucking growth.
“Write out what you would be willing to commit to in a partner in the future”.
I did this a couple a years back : ) Awesome thing to do. It made me realise how little the “dream” ex was actually giving. And what I was capable of instead.
Pray tell, how can I do and feel the same. I'm a guy, and I'm sick of feeling devastated for 8 months now, when the relationship I had with the girl didn't even last that long...
@@FBread-xj8qkAll I know is …time will lend its healing ❤️🩹 hand upon you 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 Feel the pain, let it all out and it will make you feel lighter and better little by little. One day at a time 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 you got this 💪
Every time my phone rings or I get a text I have this physical reaction hoping it’s him and then when I see It’s not I’m devastated all over again.
Same thing. Just hoping I get a text back one day. Probably never will, and it hurts to accept that.
Fuck…I’m in so much pain right now. This heartbreak has me wanting to give up…
@@Devil_Kenjiwe are on the same boat. I’m so depressed. Let’s stay strong
Its same with me its hard to wake up and breathe.. he says he will never gonna come back and I need to deal this on my own.. i am scared for myself😓
@@AndyKingCo alright brother. I’m down for that
It really does feel like the worst feeling any human could bear. But we always manage to overcome. If you’re reading this let’s stay strong
Loved the part about "don't suppress."
It brings me back to a quote I once heard: "The greatest pain comes from trying not to feel that which needs to be felt."
Good quote 👌
100%
Genuinely asking, what does it mean in this context?
@@reef2980 -- it means if you feel like crying, do it. If you feel sad, feel sad and spend some time processing why you are. If you are in pain, don't pretend you aren't and whatever you do, don't self-medicate. Otherwise, you just make the underlying pain even worse and it will come back to get you.
@andrewjohnson7474 thanks for your quick reply. I already thought it would mean something like that but I wasn't sure, thanks for clarifying that
Stay away from the rebound, they really just fill in a void. Work on you and if you did love the person you broke off with come back a healed person.
This video couldnt more on point with timing, just broke up yesterday. Thank you.
how u doing bro
@@babyyoda4942 Taking one day at a time, depression is still there but getting better. using this breakup to become the 2.0 version on myself like Clark says. Quit smoking weed for good because of it so i guess its a blessing in disguise, im not understanding totally what went wrong. you just cant actually and thats ok we should not ruminate on what could be and what we did wrong. a breakup doesnt mean youre less than. Smile because it happened. Its better to have loved and experience loss than to not have loved at all.
Good luck dude, we’re right there with you.
Im at week 6 after finding out about my gf cheating. shit is so much better now, im actualy surprised how much ive bounced back in that small amount of time. HOPE YOU ARE DOING A LITTLE BETTER NOW MRSTONE
God bless you
My gf or ex and i broke up 5 days ago. It's crazy how most of us that are going thru this feel almost the same thing. For me it's terrifying to have this emotional roller-coaster, especially when being numb. I really need to let my emotions come out, feel them and lean into the pain. I juat hope it does not last that long so that i can move forward again 🙏🏽
I wish everyone else good recover in the process
My bf broke with me too☹️
Going through this after a 5 year relationship
@@MJ-gh9bl Hang in there. Try and use this time to reflect and work on your values, own them and take back your life. Sending you all the love and strenght, you are not alone in this
Its same with me its hard to wake up and breathe.. he says he will never gonna come back and I need to deal this on my own.. i am scared for myself😓
How are u doing now?
Completely agree with all of this. I got yoked after I was dumped and now I love training hard. Even though it was the most painful time of my life, I look back on it and feel extreme pride and it's one of the best memories I have.
You're my hero. Will go to gym tomorrow and cry while doing leg press
Thank you for this. Makes me feel better that I’m not alone going through this. Still hurting, but I’m still alive. Let’s get it ppl ✊🏽
Reading comments on these kinds of videos is really healing. Damn near all of us experience heartbreak and just feel completely lost afterwards. My gf and I broke up today and not gonna lie, I’m crying while typing this. Fellas if you’re reading this and you think it’s “unmanly” to cry, let those fucking emotions out.
Edit: I don’t know how to deal with step 4 on my current breakup. I did it on my last but this time is different. I see her at work and we share the same friend group which hangs out at least once a month… We ended things mutually but I really don’t know how this is going to work
Needed this in my teens and early 20s. Lost a coworker and friend in 2011 because her husband shot her, then himself because she wanted a divorce. We got to LEARN about our emotions or be controlled by them.
Oh my this is horrible. I'm so sorry for your loss, may she rest in peace ❤
“This too shall pass” 🙏
Just violently sobbed for two hours. I feel better.
All great advice. Although, who would freaking let someone like you go!? Most definitely their loss. Bet they’re kicking themselves in the butt now.
Your personal anecdotes are as insightful as your advice, Thanks Good Buddy
amazing video . Due to previous separations i’ve learned the value of consistently working out , built an investment portfolio, learned a ton about attachment theory and communication. while it was hard at first it really put me in a great trajectory for the future
As much as it hurts still, it’s good to know I’m “doing everything right” in the grieving period 💝
Great advice. I was in the ‘numb out’ phase and it was brutal to my soul and poor liver 😣 Surviving that dark night of the soul was a blessing. I couldn’t be who I am now in that past relationship. I hope people can find some relief 🌟
It feels reaally disappointing because I thought she was the one, and it just feels like she doesn't like me as much as I do. It hurt my self esteem and respect especially because i was selfless in the relationship. Thanks for the advice here, it makes me feel less alone that others are struggling with the same thing. It will get better.
the trash can analogy is so incredibly simple it’s perfect
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
the universe always provides. Currently heart broken, hadn't been on your channel In a little.. and what do you know. A video just for me. Thanks man, I appreciate you
Great GREAT video. I am going through a breakup and I feel like I just went through every stage emotionally because of your presentation. Thank you
I am going through a breakup currently. This stopped my crying and yelling in angush. Thank you for this.
Is it still hard after the month? Week ago, I found out that my gf is cheating on me. It's hard.
1:50 - criticizing 'pretend they don't exist' because it means you didn't care / you're suppressing emotions
7:05 - forget that they even exist
?????
After you felt what you needed to feel and acknowledge your loss, then you need to place yourself in a position to forget, that is, avoid contact with the person as if they did not exist, because they are nor part of your life anymore and the sooner that’s embraced the sooner healing will complete its course. That is what he meant :)
Such a pragmatic guide, Clark. One of the most useful videos on the topic
That 11-week rule is wild I wish I heard that 4 years ago now it's a different girl but shit would have saved me so much damn heartache back then and these past couple of weeks lmao
1st week after our breakup, fuck this feeling man! I feel awful. It hurts a lot. Really really hurts. I wish someday I could back to this video, and say I'm strong.😢
How are you now?
How are you feeling now? Please give me some inspiration 😂
We need to know!
Whatever you do dont go drinking or try to get in a rebound. Telling u from experience
This is the most realistic one I've watched tbh. One foot in one foot out really resonates with me as I'm still doing it now lol
What a great video! Thank you! I’m 61 years old and been dating for about 18 years. You think I’d know better lesson learned once again.!
I just had a break up and I accepted he wanted to end our relationship. I just want to stop missing him.
Me Too! It's so hard.
Me too
hell yeah ive been using the fire, loosing weight, playing Brazillian drums, and writing poetry
Going back to your ex is like taking a shower and putting dirty underwear on after
Why is that what if it is right person wrong time?
@@Jaden.Morris if you have to ask, you’ll never know, excellent question friend.
I think this applies to some situations but not all. No one should go back to an abuser but sometimes life is more complicated sometimes a breakup happens for a benign reason like an unexpected move or something.
@@AmbiguousGxrlzCluster well said friend
I think that erasing their digital footprint on all your devices is more effective than just blocking or unfollowing them. Mute their posts, stop checking their social media, delete chats, delete pictures… if you’re like me and you’d use these to get a fix or get triggered by them, erase their digital footprint on all your devices. Otherwise, you’re prolonging the healing process. I still can’t bring myself to unfollow or block though because it feels too drastic compared to how civilly the break up went.
Block them & run while you can
Ignoring them is 10x more efficient than blocking. It tells the other person you’ve moved on in peace… IMO🤷🏿♂️
You've got to unfollow. Doesn't matter if you broke up civilly. You're doing it for yourself, for your personal growth. You're putting yourself first, not the memory of the relationship. I think that sends an even better message than if you were to follow them, not that sending a message should be why you do this.
@@MArca-hj3xvcouldn’t agree more, it’s faster to get over someone that way. Although it is fuckin TOUGH
Thank you for keeping this gender ambiguous and accessible to women and queer people ❤
Bro I’m goin through it rn, I wanna go back and try to fix things and break no contact but I’m just trying to fix myself first. Shits tuff fr
you got this bro 🤝 focus on building yourself first then eventually you'll be in a better place
Appreciate you bro ! 🙏
Heard you man I know I’m a better man now and I want to show that but I still got a lot of work
How are u doing now Bro ?
I am now in that position...3 weeks no contact and I miss her God so much
this video actually made me feel better. thanks!
The reason people obsess with how their ex is doing is not necessarily because you still love them and want them back, in fact often times you know you want something/someone different...The real reason is you have control issues. Once you understand it's not love that keeps you thinking of that ex, you should and will start moving on. Give it a few months and if you can, make new friends and connections or reach out to close existing ones..New interactions will become more important than old ones by pure recency bias. Your heart and mind will instinctively say, ENOUGH! when the time is right and you will come out on the other side hopefully having learned how you can be a better partner when the next person comes along.
Wife of 4 years...
Just told me she was leaving Sunday morning and has not spoken a single word to me since. Feel like I'm a ghost in my own home and I have to see her morning, noon and night. She made it even worse last night because when I climbed into bed she got up and went and slept on the couch. It's like death by a thousand cuts because I have to watch her packing her things, move, etc. It's going to take months. There is no ripping the band aid off and just deleting photos and phone numbers, etc. This has been absolutely unbearable...
Have you got better man?
@@Lils3m Thank you for asking. Oddly, things have gotten better over the last several weeks. I swear that some days I'm not sure she doesn't have a personality disorder. She goes to bed Dr Jekyll and wakes up Mr Hyde. Lately, we've gotten along well, but I'm just holding my breath for the next blow up. If this one does not work out I've promised myself that I'm going to remain single for a very long time. I'm done with it. It's just not worth it. After all, the bible says that it's better to be alone than with a quarrelsome wife. 100% true. How are you?
@@ctgeorgia Glad to hear that it has gotten better. But it sounds like it must be extremely though to be in your situation... I agree that it is definitely better to be alone than with somebody that slowly sucks the life out of you. Of course in all relationships there will be problems, but the - let's call it - effort/reward ratio should be reasonable one for both parties, and no one should sacrifice too many pieces of themselves to keep something going.
I don't know if you're both open to that, but has she considered therapy? It sounds like it might be a good step into diving into the root of the problem.
When it comes to myself it's been tough few months for me.
I'm 26 and I've been dating someone that is 7 years older and I think that the age-gap in our case makes too much difference for me (for many different reasons) to keep this "relationship" going. It seems that it would be the best for me to let this go, but I just can't bring myself to do it due to some feelings that I feel for her. But I think I'm just delaying the inevitable
Phase II is what I call the 90 day no contact period. It’s needed to disengage your emotions and break the feelings of connection. You don’t see, hear, or engage with them in any form. It helps the healing process and forces you to focus on yourself.
What if they study in your own CLG and you have to study with them for 2-3 years?
I've come to realized that walking away can be tough but staying in the toxic situation can be tougher..
No contact is the most painful method to get over. I have done both. Spending my time after break up with contact and without contact.
After my divorce I stayed on contact with my ex wife and I got over her pretty easily. I saw her flaws and bad attitude every day and my desire towards her died out soon. She was just an average woman for me I did not want back.
With my lovely gf who dumped me out of the blue without any serious reason I started the no contact. And it is damn terrible. I think about her damn every day. I miss her more and more. I idealize her. I can not get over her at all.
After the last break up and during the no contact I am actually the human wreckage. I hide this and I make brave face but I am destroyed inside.
how are you doing now?
@@mitrapoetry4163 still thinking of her every day. I do my own things, develop myself etc but it does help only a little.
The example with the trash is awesome
Step 2 advice is so solid. I tried to be friends with my ex for 3 years and we finally just cut ties. We dated for 2 years and we lived together as roommates for a year and a half after. I def held out hope we would get back together even though I dated others. Once he said he wanted to focus on himself but he still wanted to be friends. I had to be honest with myself that I knew I wanted more. So I made the decision to cut ties all together. Deleted all pics, text and his number. It’s not easy but it’s def the best thing you can do. I’m only 5 days out of the separation but I have accepted and began the process of letting go with love and appreciation.
Stumbled on this video and have never seen your stuff before. All excellent advice but I really want to commend you for providing honest and humble advice. So tired of seeing other influencers push toxic advice shrouded in some BS masculine agenda
As a dude. It’s okay to feel sad and hurt because you miss a girl that you loved. And depending on the situation, your ex may not deserve to be viewed as some worthless commodity.
You don’t need to demonize your ex to move on but you do need to move on and the advice here is a healthy way to start.
Been broken up since 6July24 and been going CRAZY... Thank you for this bro. I really, really needed this. Peace.
3rd July here..
Same same
June 4th here. It sucks.
@@cowboynohorsesame
Same July 9th I REALLY knew… how you all holding up?
This is wonderful for young and middle aged people. For older people a breakup is a farewell to romantic relationships 😢
What you think you become
What you feel, you attract
What imagine, you create
The Buddha
to a much lesser degree you also have to deal with electronic ghosts when people are not metaphorically but actually dead to you. I had to deal with stuff like that after my mother died a few years ago. removing her number from my contacts archiving message threads removing buy gifts reminders from my google calendar etc. obviously this is not someone I am trying to forget but cutting down on the little electric jabs that she isn't here anymore helps a little with the grieving.
Wow. I have never thought about this. I’m sorry for your loss 🙏
I think the worst part is that I have to accept that the breakup was equally my fault as hers. Which hurts so much because I feel like I failed her and myself.
It would be so much easier if I could just hate her and be angry and just whatever but I can't and I have no idea how much more tears I have left
This video is a blessing in disguise. Thank you Clark 👏🏽
My guy From Tomorrowland. Keep up the good work bro.
The hard part is probably removing pics of him and my kiddos and all these happy memories to delete involving my kids. But I gotta do it. I'll go get a USB on Saturday and get it done
Thank you for this. Betrayal blindside of is hurtful. Thank you for this video.
This was all exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.
We've been dating for two years and turned out that he was seeing someone else for almost half a year. It hurt so bad that i cried every minute, hadn't eaten anything until now, and then after our break up, he promised me that he would change himself for me, and after a few days, he said that he would go to the girl he cheated on me with. I feel like dying because he broke my heart again. I feel so stupid for not wanting him to go after all he did because i really love him, and now that it is all over, i don't know how to help myself forget him.
Time. And no contact. Resist every urge to check their socials, visit the places you know they’ll be at. Just don’t.
Venting, friends can only take so much a counselled or therapist helps at this stage.
Just take each day step by step. The pain will fade in time, trust in yourself to get through this!
Thanks Clark, after being confused for a week, i finally feel good after watching this video
Wish I could control time... To rewind and go back, change my actions and behaviors to prevent this pain Im feeling now. To fast forward and skip to a time in the future when this pain has gone away.
Seriously this is great advice. Thank you.
Thank you Clark for sharing this video. You have put a lot of time, energy and effort in this. This will help a lot of people. You are amazing! Thank you for being You!! 😺
Im liking the video because you said be careful on what you put on the list, then you said kidding... humor, fun, and I learned... so simple 🥰
You are a truthful, blessing of a messenger !! Salute !! 💯 👍
🙏🙏🙏
I was good then had a dream, and now I relapsed.😢
Keep going, I'm in pain, so much, I just want a particular person to make it better. They won't do it
those dreams really set you back right.. I know them really well too.
I get them all the time. Always makes you feel like it's a sign not to let go. Messes with your head for sure
this keeps happening to me too. dreams are so hard
And then you remember, oh wait you’re not together anymore sheesh
Really like the energy on this. Definitely helped and provide a more positive outlook. Thanks!
I agree with everything but…deal with an ex-wife after 23 years of marriage and two children in common. I ‘ll survive surely but it will be not easy to struggle. Cheers from Switzerland!
3:44 "Did you sit there and judge yourself for getting sick."
Me: yes actually, every time. *laughs in c-ptsd*
Same 😁
lol glad I'm not the only one
It’s too real 😭
Use this to realise that this is the nature of life for things in life. They come and they go. Impermanence
idk why these creators are not talking about Divine Goddess Appeal by Lentlish, you can literally attract your ex back after reading that forbidden knowledge
I’ve read it and my ex texted me literally 6 days later. Amazing book ✨
@emilie33333 Where does one acquire this text?
BOT ALERT BOT ALERT
I just read a breakup mesaage today. Thank you.
What helped me was... after he discarded me the second time so cold and without remorse.. a friend told him that she thinks i would do something bad to myself... he texted back "lol, im high and i dont wanna bother with it"... after a 2.5yrs relationship and he moved on asap... this put me instant in the "fuck you" phase... all of my "but he is my pookie" feelings went to rage...
using this rage to hit the gym, make music, new tattoos etc etc ...
the only thing im crying over is that i was so dumb to trust him and looking over all the red flags..
everything makes me think of her and then it hurts so much more
"ONCE YOU BECOME A PICKLE, YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK TO BEING A CUCUMBER." I haven't laughed at something so silly yet wisely true like that for a while now, thanks! 😊
If I were in my 20s, this break up wouldn’t have hurt so much, but now at 32 out of a 6 year relationship. It feels like I’m one of the those left over singles. I’ll die alone 💔
I am so sorry you are going through this 🤗
I am also at an older age and both my siblings got engaged when my relationship went to shit (we officially broke up yesterday). I feel like it's too late for me, and I feel I am somehow broken or not good enough for people to choose. But I know this is my pain telling me lies, and in actuality being in your early 30s is actually young 😊
Wishing you strength 💪
@@roxanapop1557 you too. I hope you find strength during these difficult times,
Im 31 and just broke up too.
Can relate.
But i also remember a family friend who dated and got married in her 50s...
Although in my case i guess its unlikely since i dont meet enough people
Its an icy sorrow that i was ghosted after what has seemed that things were going so damn well then vanishes, but the blood rage i have its that i want all my invested time and efforts back. If only i can have my efforts back, >:'(
Dismissive avoidances suppress theirs after discarding you 😢
It's so hard to be sentimental in a superficial world. The memories are hard.
Time heals ALL!!!
I didnt see this coming. But as always your content have valuable information everytime.
use the breakup as motivation for everything be better and improve yourself
Love your videos, as always you're incredibly wise and you know how to speak in an amazing engaging manner. And it is cute how when you will share a personal story you ask if it's ok with us. Thanks for sharing all your knowledge, stay safe
Awesome video bro
This was really good. Really helpful. Thank you! I have just subscribed!
Thank you for this video, it was the advice and warm hearted-ness I needed
You right my girl cheated on me and broke my heart and I can barely move on until now
Pulling all ex’s off my phone - thanks 😊
I broke up with my lady friend a year and a half ago. I guess I am going through dumpers’s remorse. Three months after we broke up, she met somebody and was dating. I think now she has a friend with benefits. I am still going through Sadness. Trying to get out of the slump. I can’t stop thinking about her.
My (now ex) bf decided it was acceptable to break cups and glasses.
Im flying back to my home country on tuesday. So im watching this to properly commit to break up instead of forgiving him again and again since it'll only escalate into something more toxic in the long run.
Clark is such a beautiful man. ❤❤❤❤
Your video was truly full of great advice
Thanks a million 😊
Great video. This is a very straightforward approach to it.
the video is total crap
No contact is the most painful method to get over. I have done both. Spending my time after break up with contact and without contact.
After my divorce I stayed on contact with my ex wife and I got over her pretty easily. I saw her flaws and bad attitude every day and my desire towards her died out soon. She was just an average woman for me I did not want back.
With my lovely gf who dumped me out of the blue without any serious reason I started the no contact. And it is damn terrible. I think about her damn every day. I miss her more and more. I idealize her. I can not get over her at all.
After the last break up and during the no contact I am actually the human wreckage. I hide this and I make brave face but I am destroyed inside.
This video îs the best from the best! I am so lucky that i found you❤
i wish the background focus would be better in the video so I could see the chart better as I listened to you
Honestly it’s two years later and I’m not over it and I regret the break up so much I am the 30%
Hard to block and remove all that stuff when we have kids..
Now that I know Monday is Break up day I feel relieved...
It true about keeping contact with your Ex is a bad idea. Because i learned it the hard way. We ended up giving others mix signals, getting upset with each others often. And ended up having a worst falling out then when we actually broke up. I wished back then i know it would turned out this way and just leave and block them
Thank you for your wise message! ❤
50 percent happen on MONDAY! YES YES YES.