Schizoaffective with Manic Tendencies (Bipolar, Delusions, and Paranoia)

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  • Опубликовано: 5 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 777

  • @JohnnyJudoka
    @JohnnyJudoka 2 года назад +1055

    Hello friends, thank you so much for the support and love! I've been rewatching this interview and I'm amazed that I was able to share my life with y'all, even when at the time of the interview things were sucking really bad. I'm grateful to have this interview to go back to and remind myself that I am a fighter, aware of my emotions, and that I can help others. Much love to y'all!

    • @syntheticteapot
      @syntheticteapot 2 года назад +25

      I'm so glad you shared your story and talked about how mental health is seen in different cultures. My dad is from Panama and the same stigma is present in his culture. It's important for people to realize that social pressures can really harm neurodivergent people if the culture believes these differences are some sort of moral failure.

    • @MadCaddyStandard
      @MadCaddyStandard 2 года назад +23

      You're a great guy, keep the fight up buddy

    • @helenwalker5981
      @helenwalker5981 2 года назад +17

      Mahalo John from Hawai’i.
      I used to think when I was a young adult it would be easier if I went off the deep end to insanity, because it would explain my unhappiness at that time. I eventually got better because of understanding and supportive Friends.
      You are very intelligent and your conversation made so much sense.
      I wish you all the best

    • @iprakaji
      @iprakaji 2 года назад +11

      Thank you so very much for sharing your story. You are loved and such an amazing person. You got a friend in me 🤗

    • @hannahbrown5465
      @hannahbrown5465 2 года назад +7

      You are so valid and respected and thank you for sharing

  • @JohnnyJudoka
    @JohnnyJudoka 2 года назад +928

    Thank you so much Chris and to everyone who supports SBSK! I appreciate all the love and support which gives me hope to keep pressing on - THANK YOU!

    • @rachelgroth7108
      @rachelgroth7108 2 года назад +7

      Thank you!

    • @Fungafufu
      @Fungafufu 2 года назад +15

      I hope you’re doing great! It was a nice video to watch. Thanks for being so honest.
      P.S. you have a lovely voice!

    • @cupcake125
      @cupcake125 2 года назад +6

      thank YOU for sharing your story!! press on and don't give up!!

    • @kleash
      @kleash 2 года назад +7

      You're a cool dude, don't forget that.

    • @susanmckinstery2875
      @susanmckinstery2875 2 года назад +7

      This was a fantastic interview John. Most of all, I hope it was helpful for YOU to tell your story because by doing so you are helping to educate others and letting those with similar struggles know that they're not alone. Your experience and voice are so valuable.

  • @tieiatalks
    @tieiatalks 2 года назад +1004

    We lived in Korea for two years. Listening to him talking about how you can’t talk about your mental health problems because it’s weakness. I saw this a lot. I hope he’s well.

    • @haileyreign
      @haileyreign 2 года назад +25

      Not in Korea but 100% same. Even in his struggles, I'm so proud of him.

    • @naruhinastarr
      @naruhinastarr 2 года назад +39

      Yeah. A lot of Asian cultures are like this. I’m Indian and even in the Indian community, mental health or illnesses are heavily frowned down upon and a sign of weakness. We have a lot of ways to go in the Asian community regarding mental health

    • @delll372
      @delll372 2 года назад +4

      in south east asia if you said you have mental illness most likely your family will think exorcism (in any belief/alternatives) Is the cure 😭

    • @bapbirb
      @bapbirb 2 года назад +14

      Yes.. and in Korea, it also seems like there's not alot of disabled or mentally ill people around as you don't see them often or even hear about them. But it's not because there's not alot of them, they're either extremely isolated from society or for other reasons. And often they choose suicide... I can see how the first question just hit him like a brick and I understand. Even as a Korean who moved abroad at young age (and back unfortunately), the societal expectation, rules, and stigma still affects me alot as a person with moderate(thats subjective) mental illness. The need to be 'normal' and 'good enough' drives people over the edge. A good society should allow individuals to do and feel the best they can with their own given circumstances and traits. There is no one right answer to live life. But I forget that all the time..

    • @hebbycakes
      @hebbycakes 2 года назад +6

      I've been teaching in korea for 5 years now and I see it all the time. I do what I can to help raise awareness and advocate for students, but it's hard to accomplish anything alone. I really hope more younger people will continue speaking up so attitudes can change.

  • @erikainharmony4465
    @erikainharmony4465 2 года назад +213

    "Just because I look nice, doesn't mean I'm not struggling." I felt this so much.

  • @SpecialBooksbySpecialKids
    @SpecialBooksbySpecialKids  2 года назад +742

    Throughout this interview John mentioned his desire to form connections and also his love of art. I included links in the description above where you can connect with John and also see his creations. Thank you for helping to break the stigma, John!

    • @mr.sushi2221
      @mr.sushi2221 2 года назад +5

      Not sure if you notice but their is a loud hum in the background of all these videos and it kinda makes me anxious. Do you think you could work on not having it in the future?

    • @davidcopperfield-notthemag397
      @davidcopperfield-notthemag397 2 года назад +15

      @@mr.sushi2221 Hi. I never hear a hum on these videos. Do you think it might be your device or your speakers? I have a DVD player that hums and drives me crazy. Best wishes to you!

    • @mr.sushi2221
      @mr.sushi2221 2 года назад +3

      @@davidcopperfield-notthemag397 no theirs a hum turn it up it sounds like tv static.

    • @katherineknapp6604
      @katherineknapp6604 2 года назад +1

      You rock John!

    • @NativeKiwiGirl
      @NativeKiwiGirl 2 года назад +3

      You're a very Brave guy John. I admire your honesty and how you still remain to be positive despite everything you've been through 💯% ❤

  • @sethdesiena3360
    @sethdesiena3360 2 года назад +630

    The way John is able to illustrate the actual things going on in his head is so well done. It’s hard to see what others feel but I feel like I could picture what he talks about throughout. Way better job than I could do..

    • @Ryan-nn1kl
      @Ryan-nn1kl 2 года назад +4

      Ya I don't think he realizes that's not s common trait in all people that's a plus in my book

    • @herdpm1
      @herdpm1 2 года назад +7

      His description of being happy as the absence of panic/anxiety is profound.

    • @alejandroalvarez1773
      @alejandroalvarez1773 Год назад +2

      His also seems to be a lot more subtle than others. I wish I could communicate like he did, but it would be like trying to explain dimensional theory after the 4th 😅
      I guess that's why therapy doesn't work for everyone 😕
      Still super nice to finally start seeing more videos coming out, cause it feels lonely here

  • @raeperonneau4941
    @raeperonneau4941 2 года назад +343

    What a sharp, super well spoken, highly intelligent man.He communicates about his illness so clearly and that allows me to understand him, and his diagnosis, better. John, please know that what you’re doing is super helpful for thousands of people and that your willingness to be open and vulnerable is priceless. You are absolutely correct, this last year, or 2, was a train wreck for many of us and you seem to be handling it brilliantly. You definitely helped me!!! Thank you!

    • @juliej5917
      @juliej5917 2 года назад +3

      So well said!!

    • @IlaughedIcried
      @IlaughedIcried 2 года назад +6

      All of this is EXACTLY what I was going to say. John is clearly so smart, insightful, aware...and the cultural aspect is really important to share -- that culturally based stigma can be so hard to deal with, and can feel so alienating and isolating. John, I think you're an amazing person -- thank you for being interviewed on SBSK. Please keep on keeping on. :)

    • @asherrogers2687
      @asherrogers2687 2 года назад +6

      He really does speak like a pro, almost from a Dr. or therapist point of view. I wonder just how many Asians contemplate every day or every hour their self worth. His grandparents might have seemed so strong yet what if they just hid all these similar thoughts? I'm guessing they probably did, just like sooooo many other people, Asian or otherwise.

    • @pinheadlarry2921
      @pinheadlarry2921 Год назад +1

      @@asherrogers2687It’s from a lot of experience with doctors. I’ve been hospitalized a lot and in a lot of therapy. I’m white and Arab and i’m always told how shockingly well i express my schiz.

  • @reicheru
    @reicheru 2 года назад +493

    It is next to impossible to discuss invisible illnesses with my family.. it wasn’t until I developed a physical diseases that they paid attention, but even then at a level of scrutiny and criticism rather than support. I completely empathize with John.

    • @bwingbwinggwiyomi
      @bwingbwinggwiyomi 2 года назад +45

      Same with me. I remember during my first year of having Lupus, my abusive narcissist Asian mother said "it's your fault you got ill with this Lupus". Lupus has been proven to have no definite cause, it's different case by case :) the symptoms are similar depending on the severity scale but the causes are different to individuals. But I'm not surprised by what she said anymore because she's a narcissist. I can't except unconditional love, understanding and unconditional kindness without owing back with favours from a narcissist. And that's just how it is. She also said "you're crazy" when I told her I had anxiety years ago when I was 16. The older generations just weren't educated or taught much about health conditions and mental health considering how barbaric the treatments and medications were even just back in the 1900s! Good medication and treatments have only just come about in this new digital age, which is pretty surreal to think about!
      At least with the younger generations, we can advocate and educate them better especially with technology as an advantage to learning better, and we can stop this toxic and abusive generational cycles once and for all! Much love ♡

    • @lovingmayberry307
      @lovingmayberry307 2 года назад +17

      @@bwingbwinggwiyomi
      So sorry you had to go through that. I'm glad you see that it's your mother's problem not accepting you, not yours! 💙

    • @Ryan-nn1kl
      @Ryan-nn1kl 2 года назад +6

      Sorry to here that the world need to understand mental health is not personal...

    • @paulanthonyhoeflich8988
      @paulanthonyhoeflich8988 2 года назад +11

      I can relate. The hispanic community has little understanding about problems and facing new challenges.

    • @aimeeinjapan6575
      @aimeeinjapan6575 2 года назад +4

      I totally get it.

  • @bratschebread
    @bratschebread 2 года назад +259

    As a person with OCD I actually related so much to what he was saying about the experience of intrusive thoughts and how distressing they are, and that they don't match your actual wants. hearnig him talk about the misfiring of the brain and that it isn't your fault was beautiful, thank you john

    • @delia5588
      @delia5588 2 года назад +7

      Same here, Emily. There’s a lot of similarities between the conditions.
      Wishing you all the best!

    • @delia5588
      @delia5588 2 года назад +3

      @@horizonblack hi horizon! Yes def. Though it’s tricky to remind myself that, as my main theme is existential topics… so I’m always hyperaware of myself and my thoughts. Lol. 😬
      Be well.

    • @carat9372
      @carat9372 2 года назад +6

      OCD here too 🖐
      A reminder for everyone~though it’s hard to keep in mind 🙃, always try to remind yourself that the only truth about OCD is that it always lies. We are not our intrusive thoughts.

    • @FollowmedowntheNumberWhole
      @FollowmedowntheNumberWhole 2 года назад +1

      @@carat9372 agreed ! So important ✌️

    • @cerah9046
      @cerah9046 2 года назад +1

      @@delia5588 How are you doing & are you receiving medication? 🥲

  • @AnimeFreak538
    @AnimeFreak538 2 года назад +317

    I feel for John so much. I've had violent intrusive thoughts (typically aimed at myself) since middle school or early high school. It took me so long to realize that those thoughts weren't me. Even once I realized they weren't me, they were still really exhausting to deal with.
    It's been so beneficial to my life to be able to find medication that helps quiet those thoughts, with rare exceptions for bad days.
    Thank you so much for sharing your experience and I hope this next year goes better for you than your last 😊

    • @amphibeingmcshpongletron5026
      @amphibeingmcshpongletron5026 2 года назад +11

      Exhausting is a great word for it. I'll then get intrusive thoughts about my own self awareness of my intrusive thoughts that make getting back to "me" and my "genuine thoughts" (if that's even a thing) very difficult.

    • @wilma8326
      @wilma8326 2 года назад +3

      You are not your thoughts, not your worst thoughts and also not you best thoughts. Thoughts are the clouds, you are the sky. Try see it that way, it brings distance between you and your thoughts.
      Apart from this, know that bad thoughts are planted in your brain during childhood. They were your parents thoughts/words you were bombarded with at a very young age when your brain was very susceptible. You are repeating their thoughts and they were probably repeating their parents thoughts. Once you see this, you can become the chance in your whole family line, just by seeing it without judgement

    • @jonnylumberjack6223
      @jonnylumberjack6223 2 года назад +2

      @@wilma8326 Sorry, but that is very bad advice. People with illnesses like schizoaffective disorder can't "think" their way out of it.

    • @変化する
      @変化する 2 года назад +1

      What should I do if I’m getting those same intrusive thoughts?

    • @jonnylumberjack6223
      @jonnylumberjack6223 2 года назад +2

      @@変化する Seek professional help.

  • @PinkCodm_YT
    @PinkCodm_YT 2 года назад +200

    We love you John, don’t ever be ashamed of who you are!

  • @brrr792
    @brrr792 2 года назад +117

    People's ideas on mental illness in Korea is changing, but still not changing fast enough yet.
    I bet the Korean immigrants are even slower in making changes, since they are away from Korea. His Korean families must be staying at 90's idea for mental illenesses, believing that it is his fault for getting such symptoms.
    It is from great luck if you are living in a culture that is well educated on mental illnesses... I really appreciate his great bravery to share his stories like this.

    • @littlefishiesinthese
      @littlefishiesinthese 2 года назад +15

      Absolutely. South Korea has the second highest suicide rate of all the OECD countries (second only to Lithuania) and its no wonder why when you examine the common attitudes towards mental illness there (and things like toxic work culture, extreme academic pressure placed on students, etc)

    • @essessarrem
      @essessarrem 2 года назад +11

      You're spot-on about immigrant families in the diaspora holding onto the values from decades ago. They're stuck in time, not evolving with the changes in social attitudes in their resident country or native country. I'm not even Korean but I notice this with my community

    • @brrr792
      @brrr792 2 года назад +2

      @SAM Well, USA is the very front-line country when it comes to Psychological academic studies. Most of other countries are very little-educated about mental illnesses overall. Korea is relatively catching up faster... but I cant deny we have highest suicidal rate, the avarage people's lives are getting harder to survive.

    • @brrr792
      @brrr792 2 года назад

      @SAM Yeah plastic surgery and superficial stuffs are there too, but one of the prominent reason behind the youngsters' suicide is mostly economical..
      20-30's in Korea these days are facing poverty due to high price of houses and low employment rate. And COVID is making it worse these days.

  • @udidntseethat
    @udidntseethat 2 года назад +108

    I hope he is able to form those connections he's always desired. He seems like a chill guy that would be fun to be around. Bringing light to how mental health is stigmatized in certain parts of the world is important. I wish things could be more open and accepting for people dealing with mental illness.

  • @Cyril29a
    @Cyril29a 2 года назад +63

    Chris, the way you got in front of the "violent thoughts" conversation and diffused it by acknowledging its possible impact on the community and on John was masterful. I have only been watching your videos for a few days but I have already learned so much from you and you have inspired me to work harder on being compassionate towards others and myself.

  • @sabinethegaydragongeek
    @sabinethegaydragongeek 2 года назад +69

    Even though I don’t have Schizoaffective disorder, I had intrusive, violent thoughts as well. They distressed me so much, but I knew they weren’t me. This is the reason why I had to seek professional help and I didn’t have a name to it until I was 14.
    John, your thoughts on intrusive thoughts along with this interview was very insightful. I learned a lot from your perspective as a Korean man with Schizoaffective disorder.

  • @miruhell515
    @miruhell515 2 года назад +158

    Me diagnosticaron esquizofrenia hace años y he tenido medicamento y terapia desde entonces. Justo ahora tenía una crisis y me encontré éste video maravilloso. Creo que lo más importante es sentirnos apoyados y comprendidos tengamos un diagnóstico o no es primordial para la recuperación. Bendiciones para éste hermoso canal del cual aprendo tanto. Lo más importante es mantener viva la esperanza en momentos difíciles. 💖

    • @goodboix3528
      @goodboix3528 2 года назад

      Fierro, parientón.

    • @junjunsay93
      @junjunsay93 2 года назад +3

      Q sintomas te dieron para llegar a ese diagnostico si se puede preguntar?

    • @miruhell515
      @miruhell515 2 года назад +7

      @@junjunsay93 tuve psicosis y síntomas diversos, las cosas que veía cambiaban de forma y tamaño, sinestesias de tacto cuando veía figuras en patrones iguales, perdí la capacidad de sumar, restar, terrores nocturnos, muchas cosas. Me dijeron que fue esquizofrenia indiferenciada. A la fecha llevo años sin síntomas psicóticos y recuperé mis capacidades cognitivas. Lo que me quedó es una dificultad para ser autosuficiente en la cuestión emocional. Soledad, miedo, tristeza ansiedad.

    • @aquaman6166
      @aquaman6166 2 года назад

      🤍🤍🤍

  • @MecchaKakkoi
    @MecchaKakkoi 2 года назад +47

    John seems like a really nice, sensitive guy and so eloquent with his descriptions. Kinda guy that would be cool to hang out with. I wish you all the best!

  • @djl8710
    @djl8710 2 года назад +83

    He’s so articulate. This is an excellent video for a psychology PhD student.

    • @jmk1962
      @jmk1962 2 года назад +6

      Have you ever visited the "Living well with Schizophrenia" channel here on YT? If not, you should. Lauren is a mine of information and her purpose is to de-stigmatise SZ. She is fantastic.

    • @ontheroadandindanger
      @ontheroadandindanger 2 года назад

      lul, no he isn't

  • @JJthejets
    @JJthejets 2 года назад +45

    I have so much respect and admiration for John for being so open and vulnerable his mental health, especially having grown up in a culture that has so little understanding and tolerance for mental illness. It's great to hear that his parents seem supportive of his treatment now. And his art is so beautiful!! What a talented and thoughtful guy all around.

  • @secularmeditation
    @secularmeditation 2 года назад +38

    I learned so much from this interview. John's a good communicator.

  • @meemo506
    @meemo506 2 года назад +24

    I like the way John describes intrusive thoughts: They're intrusive and upsetting because they are disturbing, they don't feel like you. No one thinks a sudden "I should buy that person's lunch for them" type thought is intrusive because we're not disturbed by it. I also grew up in a culture where emotions weren't shown, especially anger, and I had a lot of intrusive, angry thoughts (and still struggle with them when I'm very stressed) and they suck! Thank you so much for sharing!

  • @kaitlin7864
    @kaitlin7864 2 года назад +24

    As someone with OCD who also experienced intrusive, violent thoughts, I found a lot of what you said to be extremely comforting. Thank you so so much for being open and vulnerable. It has certainly empowered and inspired me.

  • @shalacarter6658
    @shalacarter6658 2 года назад +67

    안녕하세요
    I agree that is very difficult to be in a conservative society with mental illness.
    I am in my mid-50s and my parents would not admit that I had a mental illness. I did not get help until I moved out. Blessings to you!

  • @essargee14
    @essargee14 2 года назад +15

    John, your vulnerability is very much appreciated. Your openness is going to help a lot of people feel less alone

  • @mairacarias6514
    @mairacarias6514 2 года назад +35

    All the topic of being Asian with a mental disorder gets me emotional. I once had a boyfriend who had chinese descent, and I watched him closely struggling with bipolar disorder amongst an Asian family, trying hard to live the life they wanted him to live. My lowest moment this year was losing this friend to a mental disorder

  • @ace.of.space.
    @ace.of.space. 2 года назад +19

    Thank you for sharing about yourself, John. I have major depressive disorder and I'm currently very overwhelmed by existential dread, and your words about reminding yourself that you can just enjoy life and your past joy was real were really helpful.

  • @bwingbwinggwiyomi
    @bwingbwinggwiyomi 2 года назад +57

    As an Asian person, I totally feel this. It's true amongst the older generations of Asians but I think just in the world in general too, older generations didn't grow up being taught about mental health because to them, it simply "didn't exist". I remember when I first found out I had anxiety at around 16, and I told my abusive narcissist Asian mother (who's now 52) that I had anxiety and that's why I was scared about doing something, she told me "you're crazy!". It took me a long while to get past that but I've let it go now because that resentment did nothing but weigh me down.
    But it's the truth with the older generations, if you were mentally ill, you were either viewed as tired or crazy and laughed at, then they were given dangerous meds and treatments to treat mental health such as shock therapy or drilling holes into people's skulls and that was about it. It is actually caveman level of barbaric, and understanding mental health is honestly a new age thing that has come with the Digital Age, we're still needing to deepen our knowledge and studies about mental health now! The education system still needs to be updated around the world too because most of the world is stuck with 1900s education subjects and learning methods.
    It seems surreal to think that we have only just come out of a dark and uneducated time about a lot of things but here we are. I believe it will only get better from here as the younger more educated generations grow up :) anyway much love to John, I'll definitely check out his links and try connect, he seems lovely to talk to. We all just need understanding and kindness with one another honestly ♡

    • @FZJanimated
      @FZJanimated 2 года назад +2

      we have to consider that our parents comes from a different era, most parents and grandparents didnt finish school or never learned about anything, because they didnt have time for it, they come from a era that you only worked for your kids in hope they will get a good job in the future for them.
      that stereotype of parents wanting their kids to be doctors, exist for a reason.

    • @KatyDOporto
      @KatyDOporto 2 года назад

      ❤❤❤

  • @humboldtpenguinable
    @humboldtpenguinable 2 года назад +28

    John, I 'd like you to know that you're absolutely not alone and that you certainly can do it. It's not I'm just making conversation. Unfortunately Korean culture is not the only culture that tends to stigmatise mental health. Lots of unexpected western cultures do it too. It's the same old story about being afraid of what looks different, the same dangerous attitude that has done so much harm throughout all history. That's why it's important just to talk about it. You're not wrong, you're no different than us all. A big virtual hug from Italy

  • @caitlinpalmer4633
    @caitlinpalmer4633 2 года назад +13

    As someone with mental illnesses and disabilities mentally, I struggle with people also trying to hush me with talking about my experience and I always felt frustrated with it. The way John talked about it as having your autonomy being taken away totally resonated with me. I just want people to be aware and also be comfortable with coming to me for things they may be scared to talk about.
    I ABSOLUTELY loved hearing and watching this. I thoroughly wish John the best. I wish there was a way to reach out to John personally because he seems like such a nice being.

  • @Stringz
    @Stringz 2 года назад +44

    I love this dude.
    Very thoughtful and logical. He seems to be managing his illness very well.
    ❤️💪🏼
    Also, I would love to talk to him myself, but I’m sure he will be too popular to do so after this, haha.
    I appreciate the honesty!
    Honesty is super important to me.
    Great interview.

  • @stella.divina
    @stella.divina 2 года назад +9

    John, you articulate your experiences so clearly. Thank you so much for making the decision to share with us. You are loved!

  • @davidcopperfield-notthemag397
    @davidcopperfield-notthemag397 2 года назад +18

    Hello John! Wow, you are very brave to share your life with us out here! This channel is really changing how people think about and react to differences in people. We are all related. We all need the same things. You are contributing important information! I am glad I met you! ❤

  • @Trollophile
    @Trollophile Год назад +1

    I'm an old lady in New Mexico who has been through what you have, and I LOVE YOU for who you are!

  • @Nan-59
    @Nan-59 2 года назад +16

    What a powerful interview! Thanks for sharing.

  • @kavitadeva
    @kavitadeva 2 года назад +48

    Chris I cannot thank you enough for doing this interview with John who has schizoaffective disorder. I've been waiting and waiting for you to do an interview like this. My best friend had schizoaffective disorder and it was so difficult for her to live with all of the negative voices she would hear. She never heard a voice that was positive it was always telling her to either kill herself or go kill someone else. And I'm so glad you're letting everything come out in this video. I myself struggle with severe mental illness and I love this guy. I understand what he is going through and that it has nothing to do with him as a person. His brain is broken that's all. Just as if someone had a kidney problem. I really love the way you interviewed him and his responses where so beautiful and so heartfelt. All I can say is I hope people learn about schizoaffective disorder. I had another friend who has had it its very difficult to live with it, schizophrenia with bipolar disorder. And like John said it plays itself out differently with each person. And I know what it means to constantly be thinking about dying and death its very scary and sometimes you don't know its not real, that they are just thoughts going through your head. It takes an immense amount of courage and strength to deal with what John is dealing with. Its not easy it is extremely difficult. But he is doing it and I'm going to subscribe right away to his RUclips channel. I can't wait to see what he has to say. Thank you Chris so very much for making this video.

    • @eileendoherty2836
      @eileendoherty2836 2 года назад

      I agree you seem like a very nice friend to have I would like to reach out 🤗❤️🙏

    • @kavitadeva
      @kavitadeva 2 года назад +1

      @@eileendoherty2836 Hi Eileen. Thanks for your reply. Did you like the interview?

    • @eileendoherty2836
      @eileendoherty2836 2 года назад

      @@kavitadeva yes 👍

  • @boredshrimp9425
    @boredshrimp9425 2 года назад +12

    This morning I woke up and had very violent intrusive thoughts about my parents (the first in a while), these past three weeks have been rough for me and I feel lost, slacking and hopeless..first video I click on and you actually addressed violent intrusive thoughts, thank you John, this video means a lot to me, I feel seen and understood

  • @Dippy_melts
    @Dippy_melts 2 года назад +8

    Much love to John! I love art as well! Try to stay positive! I hope you can find comfort in your life. Heal up and I appreciate ya.

  • @DopamineSchizo
    @DopamineSchizo 2 года назад +29

    thank you for bringing awareness, from another schizo affective person

    • @DopamineSchizo
      @DopamineSchizo 2 года назад +5

      John is a lovely guy, i know this illness can be absolute hell, i can relate a lot

  • @krutovs
    @krutovs 2 года назад +10

    Hey John, you have incredible charisma. You living so close to the truth is a fresh breeze of air in this society. Also, I love your art - it's so beautiful and expressful!

  • @jonnyn007
    @jonnyn007 2 года назад +6

    I'm addressing John and his concern directly right now.
    I appreciate you, I understand you (within the limits of someone who isn't diagnosed similarly), and I respect you as a fellow human.

  • @iridescentsquids
    @iridescentsquids 2 года назад +3

    Exceptional expression and vulnerability. I so appreciate this. Especially the difficulties with aggression, and the struggle with how that can undermine connections with others, isolate, change sense of self.

  • @uuuuuuuuiiiiiii
    @uuuuuuuuiiiiiii 2 года назад +10

    Don’t ever think you’re too much, lots of people are in a very similar situation as you so I hope you can get close to them

  • @mabuhaymom
    @mabuhaymom 2 года назад +5

    An amazing interview! John is so honest, brave and insightful.

  • @tinalina6471
    @tinalina6471 2 года назад +11

    Love you John ! And I appreciate you sharing about yourself with everyone who watches! The only way to understand is to listen and I thank you for allowing us to listen to you !
    Checked your IG BTW- awesome art !!!

  • @georginashanti4605
    @georginashanti4605 Год назад

    This channel is doing so much to destigmatise mental illness and all types of disabilities. It's a real contribution to building a more inclusive humanity. I really have learnt so much from this channel.

  • @sleepyoldtiger372
    @sleepyoldtiger372 2 года назад +8

    Thank you for sharing your story John! As a fellow Asian, I agree that among Asians, they tend to ignore mental health and pretend that it doesn’t exist or that it brings shame to the family. I know because when I was diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar major depression, I hid it from everyone in my family. However, they all know now and at first they acted really weird around me. Meds and therapy help, also finding my triggers help me cope. Any diagnosis is on a spectrum and no diagnosis is the same for any two people. Sending you lots of love and great thoughts for your creative space! ❤️

  • @keenanyudes8427
    @keenanyudes8427 2 года назад +18

    My best friend has schizophrenia and I see a lot of relations to John. I hope John knows that he is loved and that he isn’t alone. Almost lost my friend because he thought he was alone.

  • @Donna.marie369
    @Donna.marie369 2 года назад +3

    I so appreciate your openness to share where you're at. My son was recently diagnosed with bipolar schizophrenia. He doesn't like to talk about stuff. Listening to you has helped me to understand. Thank you.

  • @suzannemurphy9009
    @suzannemurphy9009 2 года назад +3

    Thanks for sharing. I work in a boys school.. with lots of struggling teenager's and I honestly think he would be an amazing speaker for them to understand their feelings and that they're not alone!

  • @kathymclain2632
    @kathymclain2632 2 года назад +4

    Great interview! We all have “something” nothing to be ashamed of. Your an awesome person John. Thank you!

  • @uniquelyfraz9739
    @uniquelyfraz9739 2 года назад +5

    I just want to first say thank you John for being so open and honest, I found you to be very smart and self aware. You have a very sweet soul and may god continue to bless you and surround you with people who love and cherish you.

  • @PuffPets
    @PuffPets 2 года назад +2

    Thanks SO Much for sharing!!!! You are helping hundreds of people who identify with exactly what you're going through. So important!!!

  • @brandysmith7193
    @brandysmith7193 2 года назад +2

    You’re super intelligent and helpful, the mental health community will appreciate this. I hope the best for you

  • @behabtwa
    @behabtwa 2 года назад +2

    he articulated himself so well, wouldnt be able to tell that he was nervous. thank you for sharing john. i wish you all the love and happiness in the world.

  • @Chiggianya
    @Chiggianya 2 года назад +5

    John, I appreciate you for sharing your experiences and being honest. ❤️

  • @Areyousayingidontknowmyname
    @Areyousayingidontknowmyname 2 года назад +3

    i don't think i am exaggerating at all but this channel is one of the most important ones on RUclips let alone anything on Television. Keep it up. Great on the people coming on to share their lives.

  • @rebusdan
    @rebusdan 2 года назад +16

    Hello Chris (i assume you read the comments) i have been following this channel for a couple of years and i have to make you a compliment. Your emphatic, spontaneous and heartfelt way of interviewing is not only very interesting and touching to look at but i think is of great importance. It is mainly because of you that people who otherwise might not be really listened to, not being knowledge or perhaps not being taken really seriously, that those persons have a face and have a voice, they are not the man or woman (child) with this or that disorder but real individuals that just like the average person is in need of Acceptance Compassion and Love.Thanks to you there is more and more acceptance and awareness for people with disabilities and or disorders and every country in the world should have a person like you to advocate for them.
    Have you ever considered to some kind of world tour where you gonna do the same kind of interviews but then with support of local tv networks? Stay healthy, save and happy

  • @nicholasandrekopoulos2401
    @nicholasandrekopoulos2401 2 года назад +3

    I have the same diagnosis. My first episode I was 17 in the middle of my junior year of high school. I'm thankful my family has taken care of me through all my episodes. Now I'm 21, also clean and sober 83 days today. Tons and tons of people don't understand the psychosis. At first I was like why me. But being on the right medication and being sober, I accepted it and pray for those still struggling

  • @SandiByrd
    @SandiByrd 2 года назад +6

    You're absolutely NOT too much for everyone else and I'd totally be friends. He seems like a really kind and chill dude.

  • @toomuchtotype6079
    @toomuchtotype6079 2 года назад +9

    Keep your head up John. 🙏🏼You got this brotha. 💪🏼🙌🏼 Day at a time.

  • @HilaryIsOkayssss
    @HilaryIsOkayssss 2 года назад +3

    I think John seems like a great young man that has his struggles and he’s getting help. He is helping others, I’m sure of that. Thank you very much for sharing his story. I love this channel.

  • @andreasimon2752
    @andreasimon2752 2 года назад +26

    Im only a few minutes into this yet YOU SEEM SO KIND AND FRIENDLY!
    Let's be friends!

    • @naruhinastarr
      @naruhinastarr 2 года назад +1

      My thoughts exactly! He so sweet and kind! I would love to be friends with him irl:)

  • @sherryd.3425
    @sherryd.3425 2 года назад +4

    Hi, John. Thank you for your lovely interview. I've been to some of those amazing manic places myself, and I've also dealt with the reality of managing a slower, sadder, darker world. I find joy in sharing my experiences and in just building morning, days, and nights that are fun and make sense to me. Joy to you! Whispers can be upsetting. I find that if I sleep less than 4 hours a night for too many consecutive nights, the whispers escalate into a strange sort of "awake" dreaming. It only lasts for seconds at a time, but it feels like paranoia and can lead to fear.

  • @loreleismall369
    @loreleismall369 2 года назад +4

    You've got a great personality, John. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm sure it's been so tough for you, but sending nothing but love your way 😊

  • @Pr0HoN
    @Pr0HoN 2 года назад +4

    John, you are very articulate and good at describing your experiences! Thank you for giving us the chance to understand! Greetings from Norway

  • @a14a17k
    @a14a17k 2 года назад +2

    Watching your videos while in crisis mode is a helpful grounding tool.
    As someone with cptsd mdd gad ocd who has psychiatric therapy twice weekly &multiple medications disruption in that safety net is indescribable. Today I got an email from my therapist whose father passed away over the weekend, and all appointments are canceled for the next two weeks. Currently trying to manage the overwhelming feelings of losing everything.
    Thank you for sharing your story, it's something to be proud of. Muchlovealways

  • @stevenfreebairn2553
    @stevenfreebairn2553 2 года назад +2

    This guy just seems so kind and genuine.

  • @crispy2429
    @crispy2429 2 года назад +11

    What a coincidence, I was just watching Daniel’s veteran days’ video on his channel

  • @suzannep
    @suzannep 2 года назад +6

    I really enjoyed the entire interview, but the part that really struck home for me on a personal level was about having violent intrusive thoughts. I have hardly ever even told anyone about my struggling with these myself, I always fear what they will think, I fear they will become afraid of me. I don't even think I have mentioned it to my current therapist or prescriber, I only mention the paranoia, it makes me feel sad that I have not been able to open up about this to people who I know and who are there for me in every other aspect, maybe they will be there for me still even if I tell them. Thank you so much for leaving that portion in the video, it really helps to not feel alone when I hear other people struggle with similar things.

  • @asiaparks7158
    @asiaparks7158 2 года назад +4

    I Have This Disorder And Mania Ain't No Joke💯💔🙌🏽🙏🏾God Bless Us All

  • @elhale8774
    @elhale8774 2 года назад +2

    John I'm so happy you're able to tell your story and share with us about your life. You have been through so much yet your light shines through. Sending you hugs and best wishes from the UK x

  • @DC-xi6gd
    @DC-xi6gd 2 года назад +3

    Wow wow wow. This was such a great interview! What a kind and thoughtful young man! Thank you so much!

  • @yesterdaydream
    @yesterdaydream 2 года назад +8

    Another fascinating and important interview!

  • @username58482
    @username58482 2 года назад +2

    Thank you so much, John, for sharing your story. There is no doubt it will help a lot of people who is struggling in the same way to feel more confident and less lonely. It takes courage to speak so openly about your struggles without sugarcoating anything. It is something to be really proud of. And yes, you deserve all the love in the world.

  • @leslie6569
    @leslie6569 2 года назад +2

    John, thanks so much for helping me learn more about schizoaffective disorder, and therefore helping me better understand people who have the disorder. You sharing your story opened my eyes, and you have such a great way of speaking honestly and realistically about what you struggle with and what helps you. You've touched a lot of people with this episode, so thank you again!

  • @mariaeugenia578
    @mariaeugenia578 2 года назад +1

    I relate deeply to most of this. John, you are not alone. Thank you so much for sharing.
    For me the worst part is the paranoia of thinking that people hate me (especially loved ones), the isolation, and feeling absolutely incapable of communicating what is going on when things are unbearable. The anger for me is a major difficulty too, you said it PERFECTLY, it destroys everything, even if you don't do anything! And I still couldn't find a way to deal, express it, get it out of me, in a way that doesn't make everything worse. Also, because some things don't just depend on us, sometimes there is really no support and nothing is safe. Sometimes there is only our own prayers to try and make it to the next day somehow. You are very brave for talking about all of this. I don't think I could do it, I'd probably be too confused, my words don't come out right in real life when talking about hard things. Thank you so much to voice it all out!!!!!! I also believe there is hope despite of everything. Together there is always hope!

  • @delboy6917
    @delboy6917 2 года назад +4

    This was one of the best interview on the chanel.all the best for John.

  • @alelianas
    @alelianas 2 года назад +4

    He's so handsome and articulate I wish we could be friends

  • @yulli_waw
    @yulli_waw 2 года назад +1

    My brother was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder a few years ago, and this interview helped me understand him better and what he might be going through. Thank you for that, and wish you all the best! ♥

  • @321Stevie123
    @321Stevie123 2 года назад +2

    Thank you for sharing your story. I'm going through a bipolar depression and this really helped me get some emotion out. Upwards brother!

  • @pablowoods1848
    @pablowoods1848 2 года назад +1

    Much love to this strong young man. He is a legend for telling it like it is and he is absolutely going to help so many people.

  • @huracanbacan
    @huracanbacan 2 года назад +1

    you are a very brave men and God bless you I love you brother please take care of yourself and always remember the thoughts are not equals reality you got this

  • @arianamansouri9275
    @arianamansouri9275 2 года назад +1

    I’m doing my makeup and watching and when Chris said ‘I love you’ I about cried!
    John thanks for sharing! Love you both. Keep on doing good

  • @chocolatina92683
    @chocolatina92683 2 года назад +2

    You are a very strong person. I enjoy listening to you talk. Intelligent and kind. I love you man. I want the best for you! Have a great day everyday!

  • @samiragobbi
    @samiragobbi 2 года назад +9

    "I feel like I'm too much for everyone else"- you're not alone, buddy

  • @sarahschwerda945
    @sarahschwerda945 2 года назад +2

    John, much love to you! I can relate to your description of intrusive thoughts so so much. It is a bit haunting how similar I experience this myself. I am on the bipolar side, combined with chronic depression. I struggle so much with these intrusive, negative those, often they are violent, too. It is really beautiful to see your interview and to experience you talking so openly about it. Thank you so much for this video. I wish you all the possible best!

  • @stanleygarlick3034
    @stanleygarlick3034 2 года назад +2

    You are an intelligent, insightful, caring person! Thank you for sharing. You are very, very wonderful.

  • @hel8990
    @hel8990 2 года назад +1

    Hearing others who deal with this helps me so much I wanna cry. I love this channel it helps me when I'm dealing with what I deal with it.

  • @sunnyglo9135
    @sunnyglo9135 2 года назад +4

    I liked a lot how he said that those things aren t him because they disturb him and only if they didn’t it would have been a problem. it s so true and something to keep in mind

  • @Shawaeon
    @Shawaeon 2 года назад +3

    You are brave for doing this. I have struggled with depression since I was 12. Some days are better. Some days are worse. Worst part is some people saying "lmao you are just sad. Just get better"

  • @AcVinicious
    @AcVinicious 2 года назад +5

    I hope You are reading this ! Your '' Illness '' is nothing bad nor weak. Many People cant even tell what they feel. So i think of your condition as a Superpower to be Trained !
    Dont give Up Brother ! Even i never met you, im sure You are a Awesome Person and it would be a Pleasure to meet you.

  • @Squish-TheUrbanScribe
    @Squish-TheUrbanScribe 2 года назад

    You were incredible, Johnny. You spoke for all of us struggling with different levels of mental illness. For that, I thank you. It couldn't have been more beautifully expressed!!!🙏🏽💐

  • @camellia_07
    @camellia_07 2 года назад +2

    Don't worry you're loved John! Thanks for sharing may God bless you! 🙏🏾

  • @suey8227
    @suey8227 2 года назад +4

    This video is so important ...I've always had a stigma about mental health...but now it's happened to me at a later stage of life. I can't explain it, now I'm on meds it doesn't seem real. I hope John is doing ok. Thanks, John.

  • @DaisyKayBirch
    @DaisyKayBirch 2 года назад +1

    What a precious value & loving education you create John, through your generous, frank discussion and descriptions with Chris and with us. Kudos to you both for this interview--this permanent contribution--and for being you! Thanks to you, and to all SBSK past & future participants, for these continually invaluable, generous insights into the human condition.
    🌿💚🌿

  • @SAvannagEvanS
    @SAvannagEvanS 2 года назад +1

    Great video testimony. Thanks for sharing John. Have a great day! 💪⭐

  • @NLnaLovesU86
    @NLnaLovesU86 2 года назад +5

    You matter ! You deserve the best ! And yes it’s neurotransmitters not connecting correctly, misfiring! Smart 🧠😎👍

  • @matthewwilson5357
    @matthewwilson5357 2 года назад +4

    Thank you John for sharing your experience.

  • @c1h2r3i4s56987
    @c1h2r3i4s56987 2 года назад +1

    I Subbed to this channel a few years ago to learn about other people, and their struggles, but the more I learn about others, the more I learn about myself.

  • @MB-vt5cw
    @MB-vt5cw 2 года назад

    I am so happy to hear you speak about your experience. You are so articulate and able to explain things so well. My dad was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in the 1970s. He went through so much in his life and we, his family, went through it too. He felt so ashamed that he rarely talked about what it was like to actually have manic episodes. I have so much compassion for you. My dad was an amazing man with many gifts and talents and he really touched the lives of people who knew him. I think you need to know that you also are loved and valued by the people in your life and also now that you’ve shared your experience there will be many people all over the world who will be touched by what you’ve shared and show appreciation to you. Keep going!