I commented already that it’s terrible your mother said that to you but I’m so proud of you for doing what you still felt was right for you regardless of what she said. Way to go dude. I just wanted to make sure you seen this. ❤
Thank you for doing this interview! I find a lot of similarities in what you said and have often wondered if I have sociopathic tendencies (not GENUINELY caring about people in the way you see other people capable of caring, and in my case with seeing people as objects, I more premeditate any interaction I have with anyone to go in my favor. I don’t care about love so I used my body for money thinking “well if men are gonna use me, I’ll use them right back, get paid” and I’ve also not reeeeaaaally felt long term happiness for quite a few years now, so I’d just like to say your honesty IS valid, and your interview is MUCH appreciated for people like us who can SEE what normal should be but we just can’t…get it if that makes sense? And I’m sorry you felt SO uncomfortable opening up in the interview, I also laugh when I’m nervous and rock myself to self sooth, you’re not just numb, you’re brave, and I appreciate you doing this so those of us with any type of mediphobia who are afraid of all the bills that would come with a diagnosis can relate and self reflect within ourselves. Thank you ❤
What she’s talking about is “cognitive empathy.” Technically she doesn’t _feel_ empathy the way people without her diagnoses do, but she practices it cognitively. She chooses to be empathetic, which I think is pretty cool.
Cognitive empathy? That's like saying cognitive romance. It's not a difference of _feeling_ empathy but a *lack* thereof. Feigning an emotion isn't practicing one. She has no brain circuitry for empathy. She has no intuition for it. If she could get away with not masking she would prefer that. There is nothing cool about it.
@@onceuponawalkingdeadpll8355 A broad term for conditions wherein people diverge in mental or neurological function from what is considered typical or normal. The term was coined for Autism and is usually applied for such, but can also include ADHD and various other similar conditions, many of which have neurological relations to Autism and ADHD, and are often comorbidities (anxiety disorders, dyslexia, etc). Its antonym is neurotypical, as in someone who doesn't have such conditions.
One emotion I see from her soooo clearly is shame. She feels so ashamed that she cannot care for others and interact with others the way society expects, and it just adds to the trauma she has experienced. I feel for her and I hope she finds a team of professionals and a community to get her the help she needs. She's so brave and wants so badly to be with others and be cared for in the ways she has clearly been denied all her life, and I hope that she gets that.
Sociopaths have low or no Empathy, it is highly unlikely she feels a lot of shame as Empathy and Shame go hand in hand. She most likely has shame but it's in a reduced form than normal, she would be able to over come her shame better than most to get what she wants, trust me that's how sociopaths work. Empathy, Shame, remorse stops people from doing anti-social behaviours, if she had high levels of shame she probably would not say things like "I don't care for my friend", "If I had money I would leave him", she doesn't feel shame like normal people that's why she is anti-social.
@@user-hu6lr3vr7g "trust me that's how sociopaths work" are you a psychologist???? She also was diagnosed with ASPD under significantly inappropriate circumstances, which many in this comment section have pointed out. She doesn't fit it in a lot of ways.
@user-hu6lr3vr7g that diagnosis was BS. absolutely shocked at the behavior of the therapist, who should lose their license to practice. You're also misquoting her. He asked "IF YOUR FRIEND STOPPED CARING ABOUT YOU TOMORROW, would you be able to move on without any problem" and she said "if I was financially stable, yes." This is actually different than "if I had money I would leave him." It's a common trauma response to move on easily from relationships. Her diagnosis was egregious, that therapist should lose their license. EVEN IF she fits the diagnosis of ASPD , she should have had so much more in the way of assessments than she got. That therapist marked her for life because she couldn't contain her own emotions which was literally her ONE job.
@@Mybawwsit’s not that simple, though. It’s okay to have autism, and it’s okay to have disabilities, but part of this woman’s disability is a disregard for other people’s well-being. You have to take other people’s well-being seriously if you’re going to live in a community. That’s different from other qualities, like not relating to your peers or having a different range of emotions. I agree that people with any kind of disability should be accepted and valued as members of the community, I’m autistic myself, but I don’t think it’s wrong to commend someone for changing behavior that truly harms other people, and isn’t just different.
you don't know that. is she trying to be her best self? or is she trying to be as good as she has to be in order for people to stay with her? And I don't say this as a value judgement, there just usually isn't an internal motivation to be a "good" person with ASPD peeps
@@georgplaz She did mention not wanting to be alone. Rejection is something she knows hurts her ability to navigate the world. She's just been so traumatized her brain rewired in a way that didn't include the ability to naturally connect with others. Cutting yourself off to any sort of vulnerability to ward off the possibility to more of that harm.
Autism is genetic. Maybe her mom wants everyone to think her family is perfect and has no problem. That would tie in with not getting help for her child, not acknowledging her child could possibly even need help. Many people think anything less than perfect is a weakness and reflects badly on them. Even though autism is from birth and not something a person has control over. The mother might feel ashamed that her daughter somehow is flawed. This is interesting though. And is good to know a person can be autistic and still be antisocial personality disorder too
@@recoveringsoul755 actually, there are a lot of scientists saying that, but they can't find specific genes, just clusters of them that seem to imply genetic susceptability, not a genetic cause. There is still an environmental factore that is not being addressed, for at least a large portion of us. It's not a vaccine. Isolation, whether through neglect or just overworked parents, causes too many "autism-like" syndroms for me to discount it. I was left alone as an infant for most of my first years. People in the hole develop it. The romanian orphans did. People in lockdown.... Genetic "causation" is the capitalist narrative so they won't get blamed for all the autism THEY cause by overworking parents.
@@michaelsi6770womanhood isn't defined by getting pregnant nor is every women able to get pregnant anyways and empathy and compassion are wildly different concepts to that anyways so idk what you were getting at lmao
@@criticalthinking9924 You can understand why a situation might be hard for someone with logic and what you learnt without necessarily feeling their emotions or knowing what exactly it's like for the other person, cognitive empathy as opposed emotional empathy in other words
Absolutely . It took me over 30 years to finally start understanding the real me...or what was the real me ? What has left of the real me ..I don't know , but you get what I'm saying :)
7:30 is so important to correct, she DOES feel emotions, just not social ones. For example, she feels happy whenever her friend brings her favorite food. Or she feels frustrated when she’s stuck in traffic. She’s not a robot, BUTTTT when it comes to social interactions and situations where if I were to share I got fired from my job and now struggling to get food, she wouldn’t care. She’d logically know it’s bad, but emotionaly not feel any empathy. Just wanted to mention this incase anyone else was wondering how she even functions if she never experienced ANY emotions lol.
I have ASPD, and it really sucks. You have to work twice as hard to think and operate as a “normal” human. You want to be around people, but you can get burnt out super quickly, because normal people don’t understand your differences. They lack the patience it takes to relate to you and understand you enough to connect with you. They tell you to try harder to be normal, without realizing that you’re being as normal as you’re able.
You know I just might have ASPD too and PTSD. And I do have an Anxiety disorder and OCD and Social Pragmatic Communication Disorder. But no Autism. And no Bi polar. I also feel some are being very overly diagnosed too! Due to lack of research and lack of interviews like these, Shout out to Chris thanks for getting involved and doing these interviews. I was worried for her safety please protect her after this interview.
If I take her story about her therapist at face value, that therapist was totally out of line. It isn’t the patients job to commiserate, empathize, or modify their story for the therapists benefit. If a therapist is triggered by a patients reality then they should refer the patient to someone else. Period.
My ex husband and I were going through our break up of our 15 year marriage, and we both saw the same therapist separately, because we had read that having the same therapist put our odds in favor of getting back together (instead of separate therapists where they only get one side of the story) and we both wanted to give it a good shot. She was very helpful in many ways, got to some issues I needed to deal with etc. but as time went on, I knew I could never be with my ex again and eventually came to that conclusion. When I told her we were going to follow through on the divorce, she started to cry softly. It was very uncomfortable. I mean I don't blame her really, I'm sure after getting to know us she was rooting for us, but just something about it suddenly becoming personal for her made me feel very awkward. I didn't make any further appointments after that. Btw, my ex and I are very happily married now to other partners for the last 20 plus years now. We chat every once in a while like old friends. We were kids back in the day when we got together.
@@ClearwaterKB After a few other therapists for other reasons, I just don't trust them as much anymore. I remember the whole "repressed memories" thing back in the early 80's. Sure sometimes stuff happens and you suppress it, but it was such a "thing" back then. I think a lot of times therapists love "labels" and quick fixes!
there are so many different qualifications that allow someone to become a therapist. the industry is a mess and there are so many people who enter the field who have absolutely no business doing what they're doing.
@@windsongshfYeah, that caused, and continues to cause, so much damage. It's awful. But I wouldn't let that turn you off therapy entirely. The spectrum of psych professionals is so vast, it can take a lot of trial and error to find a good one, but there _are_ good ones are out there. Great ones. I've had two excellent ones, and I'm so glad I kept at it until I found them.
I agree with you. There appears there may be some mental abuse which will split off to other mental issues. She's very smart, and has alot of emotions. It just appears noone has validated her humanness. I pray for this amazing young woman. I wish I could tell her, "You are important & worthy of love!"
I agree. what type of parent tells their child they'll disown them if they come out and speak on what they're experiencing? that's madness.... wonder what her mother has been through to be able to say some ish like that
@@AtheneHolder yup and the trauma cycle continues… poor girl isnt even fully developed mentally (autism) and is being told she has incurable illness(aspd) that villianizes her that she is internalizing as her permanent identity for stability and no doubt is traumatizing others as a result and feeds her mothers issues and abuse as well. I see glimpses of empathy and her person in there… such a shame.
Nails it about the therapist crying, getting angry and then being triggered enough to triple label her in a psych eval that will probably follow her around and cause yet more issues for her. "Like, I thought they got training so they wouldn't take on the client's issues ?"
I beg to differ. 🙏🏽Sometimes people who went through lot of pain use it as a justification to harm others. We all need to preserve our moral compass no matter what happens to us.
I diagnose her with “every single person of power and family in my life has failed me 100% of the time syndrome.” I love you girlie, and I’m praying for you.
Yeah she seems VERY SUPER self aware with a cognition that is not typical of Autism. I’m the mom of a 17 year old Autistic son, I’m not an expert but just my humble observation.
Before passing judgment, it’s important to hear both sides of the story. The therapist’s evaluation of ASPD could be wrong, but the girl’s story about the therapist might also be exaggerated, intentionally or unintentionally. I hope she can find a therapist that can help her.
This interview helped me understand my son(15) a little better. He always says he has to pretend around everyone except me, so I get the anger and sadness. He says sorry 100x a day but it doesn’t seem he really cares. Thanks for sharing your story Cassie
Wow I’m mentally ill and my mom and sister see the worst side of me. The two people I love most and it breaks my heart. But I cannot control it sometimes and it sucks
be careful. it is something performative. Them being aware doesn't mean them truly feeling that is wrong, or feeling genuinly bad for how they treat others. See, even in how she talks she is vicitmizing herself, but we do not know how sh etreated those who left. it is commong for those under the aspd umbrella to be assuvie friends, partners, etc. do not infantilize them because of a sad backstory.
@@magical571Victimizing?! Have you heard what she went through? She was very forth-comming about what she did to others. You sound like the therapist that "diagnosed" her. Stop projecting, because you don't know her
My mother doesn't want to tell people I'm autistic because she doesn't want people to see that she has two children with disabilities (my sister is also special needs), but I don't care what others might think. 🤷🏻♀️
As someone living in the CaribbeanI would tell you she is right... they will call you slow and they will punish you instead of trying to understand you
I had a good friend who was very chemically sensitive. I do wonder if Sheila wasn't on some sort of spectrum too. She admitted to being antisocial (her words), yet we would talk for hours until we were both starved. She was very sick w/ environmental illness, and quite a loner. Her mom was Caribbean and was pretty tough from what Sheila said. She said she couldn't tell her mom she was sick, because her mother didn't believe in it, so she tried to make out like normal and just didn't talk to her that much anymore.
My life. I grew up in the Caribbean and I have ADHD and my entire life I have had to learn to mask and was misunderstood. When she said “I tell people what’s wrong with me and then they say no you don’t. And then they get upset when you do something”. That is accurate.
“I care about him because he cares about me” man I felt that. I find it very hard sometimes to care about other people even people who are nice to me and genuinely do care for me. I am also often confused about the idea of friendship and romantic relationships and just socializing in general. I just don’t understand the idea of attraction and what draws two people together whether as friends or romantically. Although I’m not diagnosed with ASPD I am on the spectrum and this video hit home in a very personal way.
Not all parents can deal with children with special needs. They just want neurotypical kids and, when they have kids with special needs, they don't act accordingly and don't make an effort to know how to act with them.
"I will disown you if.." is emotional abuse and probably was the breeding ground of the antisocial personality disorder. This is a really excellent interview. Thank you for sharing your story.
@isisDarkGoth I know psychopathy is very heritsble, but living with parent/s who are also likely psychopaths HAS to play a role. Epigenetics has a lot to answer for.
@@isisDarkGothsociopaths generally have better empathy than psychopaths although typically they have to be prompted to actually think about it and don't really do it on their own often.
I think she cares, she’s just so confused because she has to put effort into exhibiting certain emotions. The way she behaves is more in line with PTSD than anything. I think she’s more of a traumatized autistic individual who exhibits acute symptoms of ASPD as a prolonged trauma response but it’s not hard wired. No way, she seems sweet and very troubled and some of these symptoms she describes were positive (acquired).
I felt for her so much when she said she didn't hurt people intentionnaly and was like, "I feel so bad" and he asked "Do you?" and she could only burst out into nervous laughter and say "I don't know..." Like she understands cognitively that hurting people is bad, and that's enough! But it seems like she knows a person would typically _feel bad_ for doing bad things, and _says_ that she feels bad. Like... lacking the ability to feel remorse doesn't automatically make you a bad person! She's clearly developed a moral compass and doesn't hurt people on purpose, yet she still feels the need to say that she "feels bad" and gets so nervous when called out on that fib. It's like she can't quite pull the mask down for fear of looking bad or being judged as a bad person, and I can't imagine how exhausting that must be.
@@Didleeios88no I have bpd definitely different we feel emotions intensely we have no control of our emotions so it hard to place which emotions is accurate and we can also become numb with alil sprinkle of imposter syndrome 😭
@@uniquebluekash12 I see thanks for sharing. I had heard that BPD have a hard time identifying who they really are but I didn't realize how differently that manifests. Take care of yourself 💕
Holy crap........ I once went out with a woman who acted almost identical to this lady.. she wasn't diagnosed with anything but the way she saw everything and everyone was just like this. Absolutely incredible.. I am stunned.
im a 21 year old black girl who was recently diagnosed with bpd and autism and cptsd and this was so therapeutic to listen to especially the waking up angry all the time😭thank you for sharing your story i know it was hard
To me that sounded as if the therapist was emotionally overwhelmed or triggered, which most propbably negatively impacted her judgement/perception of Cassy.
There are a LOT of bad therapists out there and I’m so sorry she was subjected to that one. This girl needs a break! Joseph has certainly given her a soft place to fall for the first time in her life.
When I was 18 my therapist after 2 years of getting nowhere cursed me out infront of my mom to the point we both agreed that the therapist was crazy. The therapist said that they basically give up on me, that I'm a lost cause and that this never happened to her before. After few months I got diagnosed with ASD. Turns out many therapist have no experience with autism, so make sure you pick the right therapist before going to them.
People need to understand that just because some ppl don’t feel or experience emotions doesn’t mean they don’t have morals. I think there’s a lot of good people with personality disorders like this. It clearly takes a ton of work to get to a good place but it’s possible
True, and even the lack of emotions in itself isn't even proof of having a personality disorder. Lack of emotions or understanding them can also indicate things like Alexithymia, severe PTSD/C-PTSD, emotional burnout, or even major depression. (Edit for spelling error)
@@tenshimoonshe was diagnosed with aspd so you're just making excuses for her. I guarantee you she's not someone you want to know in any capacity, especially when she needs something, and thinks you might have what she wants.
"I think I'm broken"... I could relate a lot of what she said but this sentence.... It's exactly how I feel. I hope she could really laugh one day. I have a lot of mental diagnosis too and I know it's not true but I feel so lonely. Thank you for sharing your story!
I appreciate this. I understand why she doesn’t go completely mask-off. Her livelihood depends on mirroring. If she removes the mask then she might risk where she sleeps or her next meal.
@@thesilvershining To say that she can't help how she is, is to say that she doesn't have the potential for positive change, growth, healing, and/or transformation. It sounds like she has already grown and changed some for the positive--I'd to think that she can even more. I know you said what you said out of empathy, but I'm a big believer in the power of will/freewill also.
As a parent you raise your child to succeed in the world they live in. It's very difficult to do that when your child is clinically different from that world. Difficult for all parties involved.
I want you to know that if you are manually practicing empathy, you have empathy. I guarantee you that many many people who seem empathetic naturally actually really don't care. Manual and intentional empathy is good enough. You seem to have really done a pretty good analysis about who you are, and lots of people never do that. I hope you find a therapist who has the experience to help you, and that you don't think it's your fault when a therapist isn't up to the job.
This! Yes! Most ppl can be empathetic because its a cultural norm. But to actively and CONSCIOUSLY practice it is rare.Not that im sayin ppl cant be naturally empathetic, they totally can be.
No, I don't have empathy. Empathy is feeling how other people feel. Instead of trying to persuade us we really are like you, why not just say it's okay to be how we are?
Waking up angry is so horrible, and its definitely a trauma thing. Much love to her. I hope she finds contentment with herself. She is worthy to exist and find contentment just the way she is.
I couldn’t believe that I heard that come out of her mouth. I feel so seen. For much of my life, I’ve woken up every day angry that I’m still alive. I’ve never heard anybody else say this.
I'm autistic and a psychology student, l relate a lot with everything you've said but the way the ASPD was diagnosed sounds to me (as a psychology student) wrong, being autistic and having so much trauma can definitely change the way you feel emotions. I would definitely try to get a second or even third opinion, specially from professionals that study autism in depth
The laughing hurts me so bad because that is something I frequently do when I'm experiencing negative emotions. Shes brave and I truly wish the best for her and her healing journey
I think most people don't understand what antisocial means. Antisocial does not only mean "avoiding association with others; unsociable". It also means "against the basic principles of society; harmful to the welfare of the people generally".
Chris is making me laugh sometimes when she talks about feeling a certain way or being sorry "I'm sorry!!" - "Are you??" - "I feel so bad right now..." - "Do you??"
My therapy session often looked like this! This is very helpful to make you aware that you have feelings! I have very similar history and my symptoms was VERY similar to her I started to feel positive emotions after four years of being in and out therapy Ofc every story is different but I think she could be happy! Just need professional help
I found this fascinating. She tells you not to trust her. She tells you she doesn’t care if she causes someone pain. She says sorry but never means it. It must be exhausting masking like that. I’m glad she has a friend who clearly accepts the situation for face value.
@@bluelight8664 she said that she hurt a lot of people by lying and manipulating them causing them pain but she acknowledges and understands she does it but it isn’t malicious. It’s just part of the disorder where she can’t feel emotions good or bad
@@laurenfranks5037 i've been at the recieving end. for 14 years, and it tore me appart, i got used and abused. If someone can genuinly stay there unharmed, more power to them. but no amount of understanding or empathy justifies staying there just taking it. i wish people wouldn't infantilize her, or fall for the sad backstory. I did, for years, because i myself suffered trauma and abuse and have always been as understanding as posible of mental health, and it really only added more trauma in my life for years to come. Now i fear being treated and abused by people like her because of my trusting nature and tendency to empathize with people with family issues. And it never was and still isn't easy for me or people like me to take the decission of stepping back, or setting a boundary, or saying goodbye, and it creates a breeding ground for people like her to abuse others. Do not misunderstand her cognitive capacity to understand what she did wrong and how it is prcieved as wrong, with her actually feeling bad or being able to treat others well with any degree of consistency much less if they get close like a real friend or a relative. I even got victimed blamed and mocked, just so i would take it all in no matter what. People, stop it.
She has experienced a lot of pain in childhood which is showing up in many aspects of her adult life. She needs love and understanding. I hope she finds the right professional help and support she needs. Sending her hugs
"I mask for them" is a statement that echoes through my whole body. "I dont even know what I sound like" is so relatable. I hope she captures her voice and gets a chance to have meaningful connections and people who care about her with full understanding of what she has been through.
It takes a lot of courage to be so transparent and so vulnerable about a very stigmatised topic. People usually have understanding for most disorders and behaviors straying from the ”norm”, but sociopathy is still a topic that’s being tiptoed around and rarely talked about in greater detail. By the way, that hair is absolutely FAB.
It hurts how so many issues people like her seem to go through come from the fact that neurotypical people give anyone different a hard time and refuse to adjust to them or even try to understand them, it’s so frustrating how unless you are a very specific type of person, you won’t be accepted or even get empathy from the people around you
This young lady is a delight to listen to. She is wonderfully intelligent and a kind soul. I would be honored to be her friend. Many blessings to this tender soul.
Watching this young woman struggling to feel "real" emotions, makes me feel sad for her. It feels like her true personality is hiding behind all of her trauma. Her nervous laughter is almost like a cry for help. I hope she finds emotional safety and healing one day 💗
Her lack of emotions are probably a protection mechanism from all the years of abuse!! Many people with ptsd manifest behaviorial and personality disorders because they can't figure out how to deal with their feelings.... 😊 she is a nice girl.
Yes actually this is 100% correct! Sociopathy is created, not born. Which means that all the years of trauma and abuse she endured completely altered her personality as a defensive mechanism - “creating” the ASPD/ sociopathy.
id argue that she cares MORE than people without antisocial personality disorders, considering that she doesn't naturally feel empathy and yet is actively practicing empathy and care towards her friend who cares about her.
She does but she isn’t aware of it like really aware of it and that is why he stays with her because he knows that she cares for others. Empathy is something learned and has to be practiced she didn’t probably have parents who showed any empathy toward her in childhood, I have the same family she does..,
She seems like a good person because she is trying to be a good person even if she feels she doesn't feel it inside. She has a choice of good or bad but chooses good.
I think reality is somewhere in the middle between your comment and @em-dy3hn 's. It's entirely unhelpful to subscribe good and bad here, but also simply wanting and unwanting feels a bit too simple. At least it does to me after hearing Cassy, who goes to great pains to communicate how different her inner workings are. She still has anger. As well as, yes, legitimate wants for herself.
As an autistic person I can relate a lot to feeling bad/etc on the surface but deep down not actually caring. Every time Chris asks “Do you?” I feel really bad (genuinely) for Cassy because I know what it’s like to be in that awkward spot where you’re supposed to care but you don’t. I’m not diagnosed with ASPD and my childhood wasn’t nearly as bad as how Cassy’s sounds like it was, so I can only imagine the level of hurt and trauma she must be dealing with. This is really brave to share and I feel a little bit seen. Thanks for sharing your story Cassy
It sucks so much. The awkward nervous laughter when she's supposed to say sorry and say she cares and be genuine but can't. I'm stuck in that spot a lot too
25:05, I thought "do you feel comfortable..." is probably not the stressless way to ask to a person who struggle to feel emotions. I suggest to ask for capabilities, or wishes, as in "can you explain...", "do you want to tell more about...", "what are your thoughts about...". I guess that adapting the questionnaire environment (key words, concepts, sociocultural map, approach... parameters) to the mental representational system of the interviewed may help to open up ways of self expression and communication. Me, ASD+ADHD.
It is perfectly okay not to care!!!!!! The pressure to care just leads to feelings of guilt and shame, which are unproductive because they don’t lead to greater caring! Instead, people in our lives should model how to care for US. When we receive care and acceptance and love, we have the opportunity to learn how to be caring towards ourselves and then how to care about others. I started to care more for others when my own emotional needs were met.
same. i'm autistic and i really relate to a lot of what cassy does and doesn't experience regarding caring. i don't have an aspd dx but have often wondered if i really love people or not or what my feeling towards them are. i'm not sure that cassy isn't just an autistic person who has been very hurt and traumatized reacting in a normal autistic way to that trauma. i also want to thank cassy for her bravery and honesty and i hope she is able to create/find a life that makes her happy.
When she said "I wake up angry , angry because I woke up" I totally understand . I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and it is a very different mental condition but that part I get it .
@@AILIT1i think he is aware of that and she is aware of that because of her disorder, and he is being a good friend and good person overall to help her
Thank you opening up and sharing it with us and for the interview that helps get insight into another person’s mind. When it comes to laughter, although it sounds like a genuine laughter, I think it is a sort of post trauma coping mechanism that serves as decompression when in uncomfortable, potentially stressful and unpleasant situations similar to yawning.
She should be proud of her self because what she did is amazing 🥺 oh god, I really wanna hug her. She went through so much traumatizing experiences, emotionally invalidation from people around her, even the struggles for meet up with good psychiatric, i really wish you find people who loves you and validate every feeling you had unconditionally. The way you choose to try understand people or social interaction and being kind despite every struggle you had is amazing, Cassy. Thanks to john that atleast you have someone to be comfortable with and feel save. You guys had my respect!
Absolutely! My adult son has autism and was bullied in school. As an adult he wanted friends, but because of autism, he could understand how to make relationships work. He was taken advantage of which caused him emotional trauma. Now he has PTSD and he has encapsulated himself emotionally and now feels apathy (not having feelings), due to the trauma.
I do agree but would keep in mind that will never validate the unfortunate actions that people with this high level of trauma do to others. So yes they need help but the actions that hurt others do to these people being so traumatized is not okay
I've had a similar experience, to this day i'm still not entirely sure wether i actually have Bipolar or not. My doctors and care team continuously go back and forth between me having bipolar and not, but recently when they realised that I have dissociative identity disorder, they've kinda come to a conclusion that those episodes were more likely to be trauma reactions like identity switches
I’ve stopped identifying with the labels they gave me. I’m capable of so much more than my diagnoses, and once I realized that it was so freeing. I’m just me
as a future psychologist your videos are EXTREMELY educational there's no better way to understand people than hearing it and seeing it directly from them i also admire and learn from the way you communicate with them ! is beautiful to hear their stories, only they can explain what's like to have these disorders and to live with it i think people are INCREDIBLE!
just to let everyone know, because people make over-simplistic assumptions about autism and emotions, that autistic people can struggle with emotions and not have ASPD. Many have alexithymia, which is where it's difficult to feel and identify emotions in a 'normative' (whatever that is) way. For example, not feeling hungry, or getting confused between emotions and bodily sensations. ASPD is usually trauma related, as are the other PDs. And autistic people experience a lot of trauma.
It's important to keep in mind that biologically an ASPD can feel everything. ASPD is a personality that puts down emotions like... For example... "why are you happy?" then stop feeling joy. So ASPD is a disorder where the thoughts get in the way of feeling.
@@smart_pretty I meet my husband and father of my 2 child online, we had a relationship online, 1,5 years before we meet face to face. The fact is that, online, one does not need to mask to pretend, one can be more true to it self. That does not mean that she is able to have a relationship outside of that, but that is a relationship non the less.
Okay, I identify with her on so many levels. I'm confident that she has been misdiagnosed because of her autism. I really wish Complex PTSD had made it into the most recent DSM. I will never forget learning about it, in an article that said they felt like they don't feel human and feel like they are watching the world from the outside. There are some excellent resources out there regarding recovery, but to be honest, it takes serious work and can last a lifetime, but if you want a life worth living and the ability to love and feel joy again, it's worth climbing that mountain.
Yeah I recentl found out I have cptsd (check your psych notes everyone) though I suspected for a while. I'm still trying to learn more but 5 minutes in and I saw myself in her, as an aspie who's gone through trauama. Also not diagnosing her but she might also have adhd.
Videos like this make me sad. I don't believe she has antisocial personality disorder. I have two teen girls with autism and many family members with autism and have seen autism in many forms. I agree with previous comments that she has ptsd from trauma, but as far as the symptoms she describes as ASPD is actually her Autism. One of my autistic daughters is very much the same with not understanding social relationships and has very little to no empathy or understanding others feelings. She also copies and masks along with coping other people's personalities because she doesn't understand emotions and wants friends. I could go on. My other daughter is the opposite with empathy and feels everything very deeply and get stuck on emotions. Autism is definitely different for everyone. But I am sad that her Autism is being described as a mental health disorder such as ASPD. It causes further misunderstanding of autism. 😔 I really hope she can get some counselling for her trauma and Autism to better understand her world.
Yeah I was thinking it was cool that he asked "do you" about her saying she feels bad, but, at least to me anyway, it felt like he wanted to know to understand better as opposed to the accusatory way most people would ask if someone actually feels bad when they say they do. It comes across nonjudgmental.
As someone with ASPD: you don't have it, because you are nervous about your mom disowning you. The "therapist" who diagnosed you with it obviously confused ASD and ASPD in you. I can understand the worry about your parent disowning you in case you aren't an adult/ not financially stable. But emotionally? Even worrying about breaking a "relationship" with a person I don't need? No
She seems to be displaying lots of different emotions. She said she gets angry every day. That's an emotion. She talks about the emotional pain she's experienced. When she laughs self-consciously, giggles, feels guilty surely she's feeling some emotion then. She seems to have alexithymia. She's confused. She is aware of other people's needs and masks for their benefit. She has said a lot of things I've heard other autistic people say. Very interesting interview. I really wish her all the best.
It's more accurate to say that she has a more limited range of emotions. People with ASPD (not a good term for it by the way), feel the base emotions of anger and fear but not higher-level emotions like compassion and love.
It's sad that she can't see how much of a caring person she is. Even if she can't "feel" those feelings (I understand 100%) She is a good person, and she does care. If she didn't, you wouldn't be able to detect the pain in her voice when she opens up about different abandonments, and she also didn't want to hurt her friends feelings. Being a human is hard
@@ryanyoung5259Self-preservation. Being socially ostracized is hard on most people, because we do live in societies where dealing with others is necessary to function on every level. We all know that if we don't try to fit in we will be treated differently which can negatively affect your life.
The thing is, nobody cares that you don’t or can’t actually feel that you care about them as long as you act like it. People attach so much sentimentality to feelings and intention when it’s really the action and consequences that affect anything at all.
She has more of a heart than most neurotypical people I’ve met! I’m a black ND chick, also, so I understand it’s rough not fitting the stereotypical “black woman” role. Masking is also so exhausting! Sending much love to my fellow ND sista!❤
@@lawm1549As a black person in her exact situation, it’s more complicated than that. Not all black people are the same, no, but neurodivergency is heavily looked down on by the majority of our community and we HAVE to mask to be let in. There are people who will be okay with you taking down the mask slowly, but people make so many preconceptions about nd that they decide whether they want to even speak to you or not based on the signs. And that’s for everyone, not just our community, I’m just saying why it’s harder to be let in.
fr! Some of the meanest comments tend to come from fellow Black people. Many think I'm rude or dismissive, but I'm actually just riddled with anxiety and expecting the worst.
As a therapist, you should know to take someone's one-sided interpretation of events with a grain of salt and not say, "You did nothing wrong." When you don't have a clear understanding of the situation.
The way she describes not understanding human interaction and feeling emotions is exactly the way I feel!! I'm not sociopathic but I am autistic and I do still have trouble with feeling "natural" empathy, so it's very comforting to me to see someone I can relate to so much, even how she masks by laughing and smiling!
Thankyou for being so brave in doing this. It's because of people like you Cassy who decide to speak out and teach people that we're able to better understand and empathize with your situation. I saw your interview with Soft white underbelly as well and I have the upmost respect for how you're pushing forward in life despite how hard the world has pushed back against you. You experience feelings differently, but that makes you no less human and you don't deserve to be seen as less than because of something you can't change about yourself.
It's like her brain produces so little serotonin and melatonin she experiences only the dull side of being human. I felt so sad for her though the interview. Big hugs to her.
She started the interview saying she feels like & would describe herself as a different kind of person, & finished it by saying we are just like everyone else. That's quite a fundamental shift. It was like saying her thoughts out loud helped her reached a more positive state. She has more good traits than she realises.. I hope you can find moments of peace, Cassy.
I think it can be both, they are different type of people then most and when interacting with them it should be considered, but as for the level of respect you should give someone, or the existence of their emotions, those things are still very much there and like everybody else. They just may have different triggers or ways of conveying those feelings as well as a difference in level of intensity for some of those feelings the point where the fluid nature of feelings makes it difficult to distinguish what there actually feeling. That’s my inference anyway.
They aren't mutually exclusive. She doesn't feel like a normal human and her point at the end is society should be more accepting of people like that because 1 in 30 people are like that. I didn't detect any shift
I dated a man with anti social personality disorder for a year and he didnt care if i didnt love him (i.e. i asked a LOT of questions the first time he told me he didnt experience emotions as broadly as others), as long as i did things FOR him. He kept it somewhat balanced by also being there for me, and turns out he was the only partner who actually gave me presents that I would like; maybe he was so used to reading people that he found the material ways to nurture me faster. Its kind of like what the person speaking describes: ill care as long as you care for me. Nothing wrong with that, just not for everyone. To the speaker, hope you find partners to accept you and let you grow because we all deserve links and relationships ❤
@@jacobus57 not all sociopaths are sadistic or constantly plotting. trying to keep your partner happy despite lacking empathy can be for a million reasons. they can still understand reciprocity (i like spending time with you and will reward you for that) despite not empathically identifying with others.
@@jacobus57 I didn't see enough evidence to suggest that the gift-giving was any more manipulative than any other person doing the same practice. Appeasement or reciprocity (neither of which are altruistic, but not inherently as malicious as outright manipulation) could have also been the reason for this behavior. We shouldn't downplay their struggles and limitations (and we must also set boundaries that keep us safe if we ever feel unsafe or uncomfortable with any person, ASPD or not), but we also need to be careful about pathologizing every single behavior when the message in this interview was a reminder that: while those with ASPD are not exactly like everyone else, they are still people. We also need to hold space for the fact that many (though not all) people with ASPD are also survivors of abuse, and survivors of all backgrounds are often blamed and viewed with suspicion just for having maladaptive schema (which did not develop in a vacuum or by choice necessarily). It also helps abusers without ASPD or NPD hide in plain sight (and considering how rare these disorders are, it's likely that most abusers do not have ASPD).
I can’t get past her hair! I adopted girls from Africa and can tell you she has worked hard on those curls for a long time! Beautiful and so impressive!!
For those of you wondering why it's called antisocial PD if they're not antisocial, it's because they don't tend to display PROsocial behavior unless there's something to gain. Prosocial behaviors are things like sharing, helping, donating, or co-operating. Generally, things that benefit other people or society as a whole.
I’m autistic and been through trauma. I never thought I had positive emotions to feel but I’ve started feeling them again. I hope you can one day too 💜
Something that helped me a lot was that when I really did get positive emotions, I immediately wrote them down. It's easy to forget that things won't always feel the same.
Psychologist myself, please tell her that she needs to check her aspd diagnoses with another professional. What she describes as aspd is autistic masking and has nothing to do with aspd. Her behaviour, her body language how she talks and what she talks are extremly different to how aspd people behave like. Some symptoms of autism are seemingly similar to aspd (aspd, autism, psychopathy, adhd, (c)ptsd, childhood trauma... have all something in common and therby it can be easily misdiagnosed). Hearing her talking, theres nothing that would lead me to think that she has aspd. One example can be found looking at her example of lying. She lies because she tries to look normal (autistic masking), someone with aspd lies for personal gain. After hearing it till the end, I would bet anything I own that she doesnt have aspd. The way she was diagnosed, was the most unprofessional way of diagnosis i have ever heard about. Especially when diagnosing cluster b personality disorders, one has to be carefull. What happend to her has nothing to do with a professional diagnosis, those type of professionals are a shame for my profession and should not only have their license revoke but belong to jail for ruining live and creating trauma by diagnosing someone with a wrong cluster b disorder.
I honestly think the same. I sent this video to my friend, and he says that it's almost like he is watching me. I have been masking autism since always, and I honestly can't take the diagnosis AsPD seriously with the reasons behind the test and diagnosis.
Thank you for this comment. I use to think I was symptomatic of ASPD until my new therapist described what you basically stated here. And I was given the proper diagnoses (CPTSD, ADHD, and bipolar disorder)
I can't believe she was diagnosed as a ASPD just from a quick test by a therapist that was not professional during session and she carries this diagnosis as part of her identity. She should really be reavaluated. I'm autistic, ADHD, anxiety, and depression and I feel like her, but I don't have a ASPD diagnosis. She is not showing signs of lack of empathy. Lying is a response to trauma but a questionaire alone shouldn't be the only means for this diagnosis.
I feel like you are mistaking a moral compass for empathy. ASPD doesn't mean you can't understand ethics. Also for a lot of the interview she is still masking and to my intrepertation her hesitation on dropping it isn't because of empathy but perhaps because of the consequences that have happened before when dropping it.
Sounds like she's a normal person who has attached to labels of disorders to cope with her life traumas. I hope she can heal and just live her life in peace
This is such an incredible interview. Thank you for sharing your life! I hope you find the safety that is needed to process your anger and live freely without judgement
Thanks for interviewing me ☺️
I commented already that it’s terrible your mother said that to you but I’m so proud of you for doing what you still felt was right for you regardless of what she said. Way to go dude. I just wanted to make sure you seen this. ❤
I'm a 37 years old french woman, and i feel exactly the same, that's crazy.... !!!!
Thank you for doing this interview! I find a lot of similarities in what you said and have often wondered if I have sociopathic tendencies (not GENUINELY caring about people in the way you see other people capable of caring, and in my case with seeing people as objects, I more premeditate any interaction I have with anyone to go in my favor. I don’t care about love so I used my body for money thinking “well if men are gonna use me, I’ll use them right back, get paid” and I’ve also not reeeeaaaally felt long term happiness for quite a few years now, so I’d just like to say your honesty IS valid, and your interview is MUCH appreciated for people like us who can SEE what normal should be but we just can’t…get it if that makes sense? And I’m sorry you felt SO uncomfortable opening up in the interview, I also laugh when I’m nervous and rock myself to self sooth, you’re not just numb, you’re brave, and I appreciate you doing this so those of us with any type of mediphobia who are afraid of all the bills that would come with a diagnosis can relate and self reflect within ourselves. Thank you ❤
THANK YOU for sharing your story. i'm especially grateful as a fellow deeply melanated Black woman. 🥰
A few seconds into the video and I feel like I have to post already. What I want to say is: don't worry, nobody is "normal". There's no such thing.
What she’s talking about is “cognitive empathy.” Technically she doesn’t _feel_ empathy the way people without her diagnoses do, but she practices it cognitively. She chooses to be empathetic, which I think is pretty cool.
“Is it better to be born good? Or to be born evil, and achieve goodness through great effort” - Paarthurnax
@Wooters1I feel like most people have to occasionally. You can’t genuinely care about everyone that exists🤷♀️
Thats what I had to learn in life. Otherwise I would have been the worst
isn't that called sympathy? Empathy is a feeling, isn't it?
Cognitive empathy?
That's like saying cognitive romance.
It's not a difference of _feeling_ empathy but a *lack* thereof.
Feigning an emotion isn't practicing one.
She has no brain circuitry for empathy.
She has no intuition for it.
If she could get away with not masking she would prefer that. There is nothing cool about it.
I love how she said "what normal people do automatically, I have to do manually". That is such a quick and clear way to explain being neurodivergent.
Yes!!!!! The amount of energy NDs have to use because of this.
What is neurodivergent
@@onceuponawalkingdeadpll8355 A broad term for conditions wherein people diverge in mental or neurological function from what is considered typical or normal.
The term was coined for Autism and is usually applied for such, but can also include ADHD and various other similar conditions, many of which have neurological relations to Autism and ADHD, and are often comorbidities (anxiety disorders, dyslexia, etc). Its antonym is neurotypical, as in someone who doesn't have such conditions.
@@treeaboo bless your heart THANK YOU 😊
Yes 🙌🏽
One emotion I see from her soooo clearly is shame. She feels so ashamed that she cannot care for others and interact with others the way society expects, and it just adds to the trauma she has experienced. I feel for her and I hope she finds a team of professionals and a community to get her the help she needs. She's so brave and wants so badly to be with others and be cared for in the ways she has clearly been denied all her life, and I hope that she gets that.
Sociopaths have low or no Empathy, it is highly unlikely she feels a lot of shame as Empathy and Shame go hand in hand. She most likely has shame but it's in a reduced form than normal, she would be able to over come her shame better than most to get what she wants, trust me that's how sociopaths work.
Empathy, Shame, remorse stops people from doing anti-social behaviours, if she had high levels of shame she probably would not say things like "I don't care for my friend", "If I had money I would leave him", she doesn't feel shame like normal people that's why she is anti-social.
@@user-hu6lr3vr7g "trust me that's how sociopaths work" are you a psychologist???? She also was diagnosed with ASPD under significantly inappropriate circumstances, which many in this comment section have pointed out. She doesn't fit it in a lot of ways.
@@Crabby-AbbyI'm glad you said that, because ive been like. Identifying with this woman so hard and im like.
Stressed 😂
@@kt68866 sending love! Make sure you find a good therapist 🫶🏼
@user-hu6lr3vr7g that diagnosis was BS. absolutely shocked at the behavior of the therapist, who should lose their license to practice.
You're also misquoting her. He asked "IF YOUR FRIEND STOPPED CARING ABOUT YOU TOMORROW, would you be able to move on without any problem" and she said "if I was financially stable, yes." This is actually different than "if I had money I would leave him."
It's a common trauma response to move on easily from relationships.
Her diagnosis was egregious, that therapist should lose their license. EVEN IF she fits the diagnosis of ASPD , she should have had so much more in the way of assessments than she got. That therapist marked her for life because she couldn't contain her own emotions which was literally her ONE job.
Despite her diagnoses, it's obvious she's still trying to be the best person she can be. That says more about her than her diagnoses!
Commending her on how hard it takes to fight her own self to make you comfortable makes me feel our society is profoundly sick
@@Mybawwsit’s not that simple, though. It’s okay to have autism, and it’s okay to have disabilities, but part of this woman’s disability is a disregard for other people’s well-being. You have to take other people’s well-being seriously if you’re going to live in a community. That’s different from other qualities, like not relating to your peers or having a different range of emotions. I agree that people with any kind of disability should be accepted and valued as members of the community, I’m autistic myself, but I don’t think it’s wrong to commend someone for changing behavior that truly harms other people, and isn’t just different.
Exactly
you don't know that. is she trying to be her best self? or is she trying to be as good as she has to be in order for people to stay with her?
And I don't say this as a value judgement, there just usually isn't an internal motivation to be a "good" person with ASPD peeps
@@georgplaz She did mention not wanting to be alone. Rejection is something she knows hurts her ability to navigate the world. She's just been so traumatized her brain rewired in a way that didn't include the ability to naturally connect with others. Cutting yourself off to any sort of vulnerability to ward off the possibility to more of that harm.
Her mom disowning her is a prime example of mental illness stigma. It’s awful.
That fact (among others) makes me doubt her diagnosis, and think it's more fitting for her mother.
@@Solscapes.…yeah no. Let’s not use her diagnoses to insult others??
Autism is genetic. Maybe her mom wants everyone to think her family is perfect and has no problem.
That would tie in with not getting help for her child, not acknowledging her child could possibly even need help.
Many people think anything less than perfect is a weakness and reflects badly on them. Even though autism is from birth and not something a person has control over.
The mother might feel ashamed that her daughter somehow is flawed.
This is interesting though. And is good to know a person can be autistic and still be antisocial personality disorder too
@@recoveringsoul755 actually, there are a lot of scientists saying that, but they can't find specific genes, just clusters of them that seem to imply genetic susceptability, not a genetic cause. There is still an environmental factore that is not being addressed, for at least a large portion of us. It's not a vaccine. Isolation, whether through neglect or just overworked parents, causes too many "autism-like" syndroms for me to discount it.
I was left alone as an infant for most of my first years. People in the hole develop it. The romanian orphans did. People in lockdown.... Genetic "causation" is the capitalist narrative so they won't get blamed for all the autism THEY cause by overworking parents.
Wild its still around in 2023
Not having empathy doesn't automatically make someone a bad person. Even without empathy, one can practice compassion, and it seems that she does.
True. Not only that but I think compassion, by definition, is treating someone well when you really don't want to.
lol, it's like a man can practice being a woman and get pregnant one day........................
what are you talking abt.
@@michaelsi6770
@@michaelsi6770womanhood isn't defined by getting pregnant nor is every women able to get pregnant anyways and empathy and compassion are wildly different concepts to that anyways so idk what you were getting at lmao
@@criticalthinking9924 You can understand why a situation might be hard for someone with logic and what you learnt without necessarily feeling their emotions or knowing what exactly it's like for the other person, cognitive empathy as opposed emotional empathy in other words
This baby is in survival mode. She's protecting herself, her whole self.
Yessss c-ptsd bad
relatable
Yeah I was seeing a lot of myself, I was wondering how much is her stifling so much down. Poor girl.
I can’t be in Survival mode talking about my own Disorders
She's just crazy
It’s hard to understand yourself when you’re ‘broken’ as a child because you never know what it feels like to be ‘normal’.
Absolutely . It took me over 30 years to finally start understanding the real me...or what was the real me ? What has left of the real me ..I don't know , but you get what I'm saying :)
I wish I got to meet who I was supposed to be
She's not broken. She's different.
What do you mean by this? Genuinely curious
@@doomngloom96😭 good point
I actually think it’s amazing that she can’t technically feel empathy but she chooses it. It shows that she IS genuinely a good person.
She could just turn her emotions on but doesn't. This isn't a good person, she said it herself indirectly in numerous ways.
@@petrumareShe literally never said or implied that you daft dingaling
@petrumare you have a fundamental misunderstanding of her personality disorder. She cannot simply turn her emotions on, she's not a robot.
You're just falling for her lies fool.
No she isn't. You ever heard before that people with antisocial personality disorder are EXTREMELY MANIPULATIVE
7:30 is so important to correct, she DOES feel emotions, just not social ones. For example, she feels happy whenever her friend brings her favorite food. Or she feels frustrated when she’s stuck in traffic. She’s not a robot, BUTTTT when it comes to social interactions and situations where if I were to share I got fired from my job and now struggling to get food, she wouldn’t care. She’d logically know it’s bad, but emotionaly not feel any empathy.
Just wanted to mention this incase anyone else was wondering how she even functions if she never experienced ANY emotions lol.
I was questioning myself exactly about it! It makes sense.
I have ASPD, and it really sucks. You have to work twice as hard to think and operate as a “normal” human. You want to be around people, but you can get burnt out super quickly, because normal people don’t understand your differences. They lack the patience it takes to relate to you and understand you enough to connect with you. They tell you to try harder to be normal, without realizing that you’re being as normal as you’re able.
You know I just might have ASPD too and PTSD. And I do have an Anxiety disorder and OCD and Social Pragmatic Communication Disorder. But no Autism. And no Bi polar. I also feel some are being very overly diagnosed too! Due to lack of research and lack of interviews like these, Shout out to Chris thanks for getting involved and doing these interviews. I was worried for her safety please protect her after this interview.
That sounds more like autism to me
I'm not diagnosed with anything but isn't amazing when someone tolerates or includes you? Sigh of relief
can you please state those mental ill differences @@happydaysrcoming8792
Be yourself unless that person is obsessed with trains
If I take her story about her therapist at face value, that therapist was totally out of line. It isn’t the patients job to commiserate, empathize, or modify their story for the therapists benefit. If a therapist is triggered by a patients reality then they should refer the patient to someone else. Period.
My ex husband and I were going through our break up of our 15 year marriage, and we both saw the same therapist separately, because we had read that having the same therapist put our odds in favor of getting back together (instead of separate therapists where they only get one side of the story) and we both wanted to give it a good shot. She was very helpful in many ways, got to some issues I needed to deal with etc. but as time went on, I knew I could never be with my ex again and eventually came to that conclusion. When I told her we were going to follow through on the divorce, she started to cry softly. It was very uncomfortable. I mean I don't blame her really, I'm sure after getting to know us she was rooting for us, but just something about it suddenly becoming personal for her made me feel very awkward. I didn't make any further appointments after that.
Btw, my ex and I are very happily married now to other partners for the last 20 plus years now. We chat every once in a while like old friends. We were kids back in the day when we got together.
Which really makes me question the ASPD diagnosis given to her by that therapist.
@@ClearwaterKB After a few other therapists for other reasons, I just don't trust them as much anymore. I remember the whole "repressed memories" thing back in the early 80's. Sure sometimes stuff happens and you suppress it, but it was such a "thing" back then. I think a lot of times therapists love "labels" and quick fixes!
there are so many different qualifications that allow someone to become a therapist. the industry is a mess and there are so many people who enter the field who have absolutely no business doing what they're doing.
@@windsongshfYeah, that caused, and continues to cause, so much damage. It's awful.
But I wouldn't let that turn you off therapy entirely. The spectrum of psych professionals is so vast, it can take a lot of trial and error to find a good one, but there _are_ good ones are out there. Great ones. I've had two excellent ones, and I'm so glad I kept at it until I found them.
bro this girl is/was abused. Her mom saying she'd disown her? This is TRAUMA manifested. I hope she finds peace and happiness and humanity.
I agree with you. There appears there may be some mental abuse which will split off to other mental issues. She's very smart, and has alot of emotions. It just appears noone has validated her humanness. I pray for this amazing young woman. I wish I could tell her, "You are important & worthy of love!"
She says she was in the interview.
She could be lying. As her said, don't trust her. Lying is a big part of the ASPD profile.
I agree. what type of parent tells their child they'll disown them if they come out and speak on what they're experiencing? that's madness.... wonder what her mother has been through to be able to say some ish like that
@@AtheneHolder yup and the trauma cycle continues… poor girl isnt even fully developed mentally (autism) and is being told she has incurable illness(aspd) that villianizes her that she is internalizing as her permanent identity for stability and no doubt is traumatizing others as a result and feeds her mothers issues and abuse as well. I see glimpses of empathy and her person in there… such a shame.
"Why are you masking right now?" Wow, loved how he recognized that and let her know it was unnecessary.
❤❤❤
Nails it about the therapist crying, getting angry and then being triggered enough to triple label her in a psych eval that will probably follow her around and cause yet more issues for her. "Like, I thought they got training so they wouldn't take on the client's issues ?"
don't jump to conclusions whenever you only have one side of the story. maybe especially if that one side is a person with ASPD
She has every right to be angry as she was abused as a child and that is so wrong.
😢 my 💯 thought as well, and through the whole interview the trust to care is what's at fault
And she said there wasn't a single place that she wasn't being abused.
So heartbreaking....
Jesus can heal totally. I know that has become a cliche but it’s also true
I beg to differ. 🙏🏽Sometimes people who went through lot of pain use it as a justification to harm others. We all need to preserve our moral compass no matter what happens to us.
I diagnose her with “every single person of power and family in my life has failed me 100% of the time syndrome.” I love you girlie, and I’m praying for you.
THIS!
Of course I can't state as fact but this does look like what you said to me as well.
Yeah she seems VERY SUPER self aware with a cognition that is not typical of Autism. I’m the mom of a 17 year old Autistic son, I’m not an expert but just my humble observation.
@@naimahsochi2683
I agree with the self awareness.
Before passing judgment, it’s important to hear both sides of the story.
The therapist’s evaluation of ASPD could be wrong, but the girl’s story about the therapist might also be exaggerated, intentionally or unintentionally. I hope she can find a therapist that can help her.
@@2Siders
A key point to always be included.
This interview helped me understand my son(15) a little better. He always says he has to pretend around everyone except me, so I get the anger and sadness. He says sorry 100x a day but it doesn’t seem he really cares. Thanks for sharing your story Cassie
That's so amazing he has you to be real with, I think he really does mean he's sorry he just needs someone to hold safe space while he gets it out 💕
Wow I’m mentally ill and my mom and sister see the worst side of me. The two people I love most and it breaks my heart. But I cannot control it sometimes and it sucks
Thank you for making your child feel comfortable. We need that. More than you know!
You are an amazing mother if your baby doesn’t have to pretend around you. Blessings
I'm glad you're taking some time to try and learn about it. Sometimes I show my angrier, uglier side to my mom and I feel incredibly guilty.
Wow. Her level of self awareness is beyond. Thank you for sharing this interview
be careful. it is something performative. Them being aware doesn't mean them truly feeling that is wrong, or feeling genuinly bad for how they treat others.
See, even in how she talks she is vicitmizing herself, but we do not know how sh etreated those who left. it is commong for those under the aspd umbrella to be assuvie friends, partners, etc. do not infantilize them because of a sad backstory.
@@magical571Victimizing?! Have you heard what she went through? She was very forth-comming about what she did to others.
You sound like the therapist that "diagnosed" her. Stop projecting, because you don't know her
"idk how to talk, my mom said she would disown me if I talked about my disorders" is really depressing to hear
Yes there it is
It absolutely is
Yes. It sounds like her mother is embarrassed and/or in denial.
I feel like she was mostly joking though
My mother doesn't want to tell people I'm autistic because she doesn't want people to see that she has two children with disabilities (my sister is also special needs), but I don't care what others might think. 🤷🏻♀️
As someone living in the CaribbeanI would tell you she is right... they will call you slow and they will punish you instead of trying to understand you
That is horrible!
I had a good friend who was very chemically sensitive. I do wonder if Sheila wasn't on some sort of spectrum too. She admitted to being antisocial (her words), yet we would talk for hours until we were both starved. She was very sick w/ environmental illness, and quite a loner. Her mom was Caribbean and was pretty tough from what Sheila said. She said she couldn't tell her mom she was sick, because her mother didn't believe in it, so she tried to make out like normal and just didn't talk to her that much anymore.
My life. I grew up in the Caribbean and I have ADHD and my entire life I have had to learn to mask and was misunderstood.
When she said “I tell people what’s wrong with me and then they say no you don’t. And then they get upset when you do something”.
That is accurate.
It's true, I have family from Belize and yes, we don't talk about mental illness at all
And if you talk about it they get mad because you're making THEM look bad.
“I care about him because he cares about me” man I felt that. I find it very hard sometimes to care about other people even people who are nice to me and genuinely do care for me. I am also often confused about the idea of friendship and romantic relationships and just socializing in general. I just don’t understand the idea of attraction and what draws two people together whether as friends or romantically.
Although I’m not diagnosed with ASPD I am on the spectrum and this video hit home in a very personal way.
@saraferguson1156 I feel the same way.
"I'm angry that I woke up" SO relatable. Oh my gosh. She's great at putting things into words even when it's hard to. A great interview.
😢
Like a wise person once said: all children deserve parents but not all parents deserve children
Fr bluddy i dont even live with them
True that!!
Not all people who have children have earned the title of parent!
Amen!
Not all parents can deal with children with special needs. They just want neurotypical kids and, when they have kids with special needs, they don't act accordingly and don't make an effort to know how to act with them.
"I will disown you if.." is emotional abuse and probably was the breeding ground of the antisocial personality disorder. This is a really excellent interview. Thank you for sharing your story.
Psicopatas nascem psicopatas , ela não é uma se sente empatia .
@isisDarkGoth I know psychopathy is very heritsble, but living with parent/s who are also likely psychopaths HAS to play a role. Epigenetics has a lot to answer for.
Exactly my thoughts. I don’t think this girl has ever had a moment to be soft.
@@isisDarkGothsociopaths generally have better empathy than psychopaths although typically they have to be prompted to actually think about it and don't really do it on their own often.
Thats exactly what i was thinking
Her hair is so beautiful, the volume, I love it
I think she cares, she’s just so confused because she has to put effort into exhibiting certain emotions. The way she behaves is more in line with PTSD than anything. I think she’s more of a traumatized autistic individual who exhibits acute symptoms of ASPD as a prolonged trauma response but it’s not hard wired. No way, she seems sweet and very troubled and some of these symptoms she describes were positive (acquired).
You would be surprised. Sociopaths just don’t feel emotions to the same extent of others.
Exactly what I thought
I loved when she said "I mask for them." Felt that as an autistic woman myself. Doing it so neurotypicals don't feel bad.
Yep
It's like a nurodivergent love language.
Or so that you don't get judged, yelled at, or piss people off. Like I do.
No es por nosotros, es por ustedes que no quieren desencajar.
or because the energy required to educate them about the issues just feels more exhausting than masking
I felt for her so much when she said she didn't hurt people intentionnaly and was like, "I feel so bad" and he asked "Do you?" and she could only burst out into nervous laughter and say "I don't know..."
Like she understands cognitively that hurting people is bad, and that's enough! But it seems like she knows a person would typically _feel bad_ for doing bad things, and _says_ that she feels bad. Like... lacking the ability to feel remorse doesn't automatically make you a bad person! She's clearly developed a moral compass and doesn't hurt people on purpose, yet she still feels the need to say that she "feels bad" and gets so nervous when called out on that fib. It's like she can't quite pull the mask down for fear of looking bad or being judged as a bad person, and I can't imagine how exhausting that must be.
Sounds kinda BPD more than aspd. She doesn't know herself at all
You explained that so well 😢
@@Didleeios88no I have bpd definitely different we feel emotions intensely we have no control of our emotions so it hard to place which emotions is accurate and we can also become numb with alil sprinkle of imposter syndrome 😭
@@uniquebluekash12 I see thanks for sharing. I had heard that BPD have a hard time identifying who they really are but I didn't realize how differently that manifests. Take care of yourself 💕
@@cDumstr you might want to edit that to say self-flagellating 😅😅 (sorry I have a ten year old boy's sense of humor)
Holy crap........ I once went out with a woman who acted almost identical to this lady.. she wasn't diagnosed with anything but the way she saw everything and everyone was just like this. Absolutely incredible.. I am stunned.
im a 21 year old black girl who was recently diagnosed with bpd and autism and cptsd and this was so therapeutic to listen to especially the waking up angry all the time😭thank you for sharing your story i know it was hard
The way she was treated by that therapist was completely unacceptable and I’m sorry that happened. She deserves better
To me that sounded as if the therapist was emotionally overwhelmed or triggered, which most propbably negatively impacted her judgement/perception of Cassy.
Nonetheless it is not a patient's duty to support a therapist.
I’d caution in believing everything that some random person on RUclips says.
There are a LOT of bad therapists out there and I’m so sorry she was subjected to that one. This girl needs a break! Joseph has certainly given her a soft place to fall for the first time in her life.
When I was 18 my therapist after 2 years of getting nowhere cursed me out infront of my mom to the point we both agreed that the therapist was crazy. The therapist said that they basically give up on me, that I'm a lost cause and that this never happened to her before. After few months I got diagnosed with ASD. Turns out many therapist have no experience with autism, so make sure you pick the right therapist before going to them.
People need to understand that just because some ppl don’t feel or experience emotions doesn’t mean they don’t have morals. I think there’s a lot of good people with personality disorders like this. It clearly takes a ton of work to get to a good place but it’s possible
Like Dexter
True, and even the lack of emotions in itself isn't even proof of having a personality disorder. Lack of emotions or understanding them can also indicate things like Alexithymia, severe PTSD/C-PTSD, emotional burnout, or even major depression.
(Edit for spelling error)
I prefer no to be the one that will try to find out ahah
@@clintparsons3989that's a fictional character. Stay in reality.
@@tenshimoonshe was diagnosed with aspd so you're just making excuses for her. I guarantee you she's not someone you want to know in any capacity, especially when she needs something, and thinks you might have what she wants.
HOW PRECIUS JOSEPH IS
Joseph is getting used. 😂😂😂
"I think I'm broken"... I could relate a lot of what she said but this sentence.... It's exactly how I feel.
I hope she could really laugh one day.
I have a lot of mental diagnosis too and I know it's not true but I feel so lonely.
Thank you for sharing your story!
I appreciate this. I understand why she doesn’t go completely mask-off. Her livelihood depends on mirroring. If she removes the mask then she might risk where she sleeps or her next meal.
I agree , she seems like she's been through a lot it makes sense that she's masking.
Nailed it, pretty sure in a soft white underbelly interview she details being bullied in a women’s shelter for that exact reason
Period. This is the reality for a lot of people.
Bingo. She can’t help how she is, she has to do what she has to do to survive
@@thesilvershining To say that she can't help how she is, is to say that she doesn't have the potential for positive change, growth, healing, and/or transformation. It sounds like she has already grown and changed some for the positive--I'd to think that she can even more. I know you said what you said out of empathy, but I'm a big believer in the power of will/freewill also.
Chris is almost a therapist himself. His questions are so insightful and kind.
I love him, watching these videos has changed my life❤
His questions are fantastic 🔥🔥
Chris has autism
He would probably be a better therapist than 80% of the ones who have PhDs. Our system sucks.
@@derekaitken most therapists don’t have a PhD.
I had to watch this again. Cassy, I hope that you are in a good place now, because you deserve it. You bared your soul for us. You are a great person.
That's terrible....her mother should be the first one to support her, not hide her and make her feel like she has to mask who she is
It’s easy to judge parents… who knows what this girl may have done to the mother.
The girl probably ruined her mother's dreams and aspirations for the rest of her life
@@Chaz_Mahoneydemonizing much?
@@Chaz_MahoneyWhy are you demonizing her?
As a parent you raise your child to succeed in the world they live in. It's very difficult to do that when your child is clinically different from that world. Difficult for all parties involved.
I want you to know that if you are manually practicing empathy, you have empathy. I guarantee you that many many people who seem empathetic naturally actually really don't care. Manual and intentional empathy is good enough. You seem to have really done a pretty good analysis about who you are, and lots of people never do that. I hope you find a therapist who has the experience to help you, and that you don't think it's your fault when a therapist isn't up to the job.
I completely agree with and adore your comment and I hope she reads it.
This! Yes! Most ppl can be empathetic because its a cultural norm. But to actively and CONSCIOUSLY practice it is rare.Not that im sayin ppl cant be naturally empathetic, they totally can be.
No, I don't have empathy. Empathy is feeling how other people feel. Instead of trying to persuade us we really are like you, why not just say it's okay to be how we are?
I think the correct claim here is that you can manually practice MORALITY and that you don't need empathy to be moral.
Yes, that is cognitive empathy. She has to understand that will be the best can do and it is fine.
Despite the problems she has , I feel she is a beautiful person, her honesty in this interview was very brave and therefore applaudable
Sometimes the patient has more insights than the therapist!
Waking up angry is so horrible, and its definitely a trauma thing. Much love to her. I hope she finds contentment with herself. She is worthy to exist and find contentment just the way she is.
I couldn’t believe that I heard that come out of her mouth. I feel so seen. For much of my life, I’ve woken up every day angry that I’m still alive. I’ve never heard anybody else say this.
I'm autistic and a psychology student, l relate a lot with everything you've said but the way the ASPD was diagnosed sounds to me (as a psychology student) wrong, being autistic and having so much trauma can definitely change the way you feel emotions. I would definitely try to get a second or even third opinion, specially from professionals that study autism in depth
Definitely.
You want her to keep seeing doctors until they tell her she doesn’t have ASPD? Because you are a student who disagrees?
I‘m also a psychology major and I doubt the ASPD diagnosis too.
I'm a neuroscience student and I agree
@Anne-pj7ny have you never heard of 2nd or 3rd opinion? it's just to confirm with absolute assurity that the diagnosis was right.
The laughing hurts me so bad because that is something I frequently do when I'm experiencing negative emotions. Shes brave and I truly wish the best for her and her healing journey
I think most people don't understand what antisocial means. Antisocial does not only mean "avoiding association with others; unsociable". It also means "against the basic principles of society; harmful to the welfare of the people generally".
Yes. People mix it up with asocial.
Chris is making me laugh sometimes when she talks about feeling a certain way or being sorry "I'm sorry!!" - "Are you??" - "I feel so bad right now..." - "Do you??"
My therapy session often looked like this!
This is very helpful to make you aware that you have feelings!
I have very similar history and my symptoms was VERY similar to her
I started to feel positive emotions after four years of being in and out therapy
Ofc every story is different but I think she could be happy! Just need professional help
Yes. I loved this.
It’s a valid question. And she said multiple times that she either doesn’t know, or doesn’t feel that way. And you would know if you feel it.
@@SchgurmTewehr would you though???
Because she doesn’t, she’s just learned to use the giggling and silly behavior to manipulate others.
I found this fascinating. She tells you not to trust her. She tells you she doesn’t care if she causes someone pain. She says sorry but never means it. It must be exhausting masking like that. I’m glad she has a friend who clearly accepts the situation for face value.
can u indicate the moment she mentionned the thing about causing pain i did not hear that
@@bluelight8664 she said that she hurt a lot of people by lying and manipulating them causing them pain but she acknowledges and understands she does it but it isn’t malicious. It’s just part of the disorder where she can’t feel emotions good or bad
@@laurenfranks5037 i've been at the recieving end. for 14 years, and it tore me appart, i got used and abused.
If someone can genuinly stay there unharmed, more power to them. but no amount of understanding or empathy justifies staying there just taking it. i wish people wouldn't infantilize her, or fall for the sad backstory. I did, for years, because i myself suffered trauma and abuse and have always been as understanding as posible of mental health, and it really only added more trauma in my life for years to come. Now i fear being treated and abused by people like her because of my trusting nature and tendency to empathize with people with family issues.
And it never was and still isn't easy for me or people like me to take the decission of stepping back, or setting a boundary, or saying goodbye, and it creates a breeding ground for people like her to abuse others. Do not misunderstand her cognitive capacity to understand what she did wrong and how it is prcieved as wrong, with her actually feeling bad or being able to treat others well with any degree of consistency much less if they get close like a real friend or a relative.
I even got victimed blamed and mocked, just so i would take it all in no matter what. People, stop it.
She has experienced a lot of pain in childhood which is showing up in many aspects of her adult life. She needs love and understanding. I hope she finds the right professional help and support she needs. Sending her hugs
"I mask for them" is a statement that echoes through my whole body. "I dont even know what I sound like" is so relatable. I hope she captures her voice and gets a chance to have meaningful connections and people who care about her with full understanding of what she has been through.
It's hard to FEEL human, when the people the closest to you are bashing you for BEING human...
@alzzz Agree 100%
THIS
It takes a lot of courage to be so transparent and so vulnerable about a very stigmatised topic. People usually have understanding for most disorders and behaviors straying from the ”norm”, but sociopathy is still a topic that’s being tiptoed around and rarely talked about in greater detail. By the way, that hair is absolutely FAB.
moi ll lm lllll loll
You're beautiful & you've helped me understand a little more about what you deal with. Thought he was a tad bit pushy on such a delicate issue...?
@@DonnellOkafor”atrocity” you mean.. an Afro?
@@DonnellOkaforthe hair that naturally grows out of her scalp? Do you hear yourself?
@@DonnellOkaforher hair is gorgeous!
It hurts how so many issues people like her seem to go through come from the fact that neurotypical people give anyone different a hard time and refuse to adjust to them or even try to understand them, it’s so frustrating how unless you are a very specific type of person, you won’t be accepted or even get empathy from the people around you
This young lady is a delight to listen to. She is wonderfully intelligent and a kind soul. I would be honored to be her friend. Many blessings to this tender soul.
Watching this young woman struggling to feel "real" emotions, makes me feel sad for her. It feels like her true personality is hiding behind all of her trauma. Her nervous laughter is almost like a cry for help. I hope she finds emotional safety and healing one day 💗
I feel bad for her too. The problem with the term real emotions is that it can be subjective
Her lack of emotions are probably a protection mechanism from all the years of abuse!! Many people with ptsd manifest behaviorial and personality disorders because they can't figure out how to deal with their feelings.... 😊 she is a nice girl.
Nah, she simply has ASPD. SHe has a shallow emotional palette, if any at all. This is more about the way her brain is wired.
Yes actually this is 100% correct! Sociopathy is created, not born. Which means that all the years of trauma and abuse she endured completely altered her personality as a defensive mechanism - “creating” the ASPD/ sociopathy.
I’m diagnosed with ptsd and I can’t cope with the way I feel as well.
@@alexceciliayou can’t know that for sure about her and no, sociopathy is not always “created”
@@TomikaKellydamn, thank god you conducted a full evaluation yourself so the rest of us don't have to!
id argue that she cares MORE than people without antisocial personality disorders, considering that she doesn't naturally feel empathy and yet is actively practicing empathy and care towards her friend who cares about her.
Wow ur right and Thats actually crazy! :0
She does but she isn’t aware of it like really aware of it and that is why he stays with her because he knows that she cares for others. Empathy is something learned and has to be practiced she didn’t probably have parents who showed any empathy toward her in childhood, I have the same family she does..,
She is very intelligent, and I am proud of her for doing what she is doing. She will help so many people. Thank you❤
She seems like a good person because she is trying to be a good person even if she feels she doesn't feel it inside. She has a choice of good or bad but chooses good.
There are no "good" or "bad" people. Simply wanted and unwanted acts.
I think reality is somewhere in the middle between your comment and @em-dy3hn 's. It's entirely unhelpful to subscribe good and bad here, but also simply wanting and unwanting feels a bit too simple. At least it does to me after hearing Cassy, who goes to great pains to communicate how different her inner workings are. She still has anger. As well as, yes, legitimate wants for herself.
As an autistic person I can relate a lot to feeling bad/etc on the surface but deep down not actually caring. Every time Chris asks “Do you?” I feel really bad (genuinely) for Cassy because I know what it’s like to be in that awkward spot where you’re supposed to care but you don’t. I’m not diagnosed with ASPD and my childhood wasn’t nearly as bad as how Cassy’s sounds like it was, so I can only imagine the level of hurt and trauma she must be dealing with. This is really brave to share and I feel a little bit seen. Thanks for sharing your story Cassy
It sucks so much. The awkward nervous laughter when she's supposed to say sorry and say she cares and be genuine but can't. I'm stuck in that spot a lot too
25:05, I thought "do you feel comfortable..." is probably not the stressless way to ask to a person who struggle to feel emotions. I suggest to ask for capabilities, or wishes, as in "can you explain...", "do you want to tell more about...", "what are your thoughts about...".
I guess that adapting the questionnaire environment (key words, concepts, sociocultural map, approach... parameters) to the mental representational system of the interviewed may help to open up ways of self expression and communication.
Me, ASD+ADHD.
I hear you. Chris is great, but he could've used a better approach here.
It is perfectly okay not to care!!!!!! The pressure to care just leads to feelings of guilt and shame, which are unproductive because they don’t lead to greater caring! Instead, people in our lives should model how to care for US. When we receive care and acceptance and love, we have the opportunity to learn how to be caring towards ourselves and then how to care about others. I started to care more for others when my own emotional needs were met.
same. i'm autistic and i really relate to a lot of what cassy does and doesn't experience regarding caring. i don't have an aspd dx but have often wondered if i really love people or not or what my feeling towards them are. i'm not sure that cassy isn't just an autistic person who has been very hurt and traumatized reacting in a normal autistic way to that trauma. i also want to thank cassy for her bravery and honesty and i hope she is able to create/find a life that makes her happy.
Therapy needs to be highly regulated. So many therapist dont know how to deal with 90% of mental health issues.
She’s so right….it was not her job to comfort her therapist. Good lord that therapist is in the wrong profession
When she said "I wake up angry , angry because I woke up" I totally understand . I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and it is a very different mental condition but that part I get it .
I don't have that kind of anger, but I can relate to being disappointed that I woke up, again, and have to face yet another day.
❤❤❤❤❤❤ sending so much to love to you both. That is a very lonely feeling & yet we’re not alone
Girl bye.
Joseph is the GOAT. Shout out to him for supporting her while she figures things out.
I think she's using him
@@laulago3771I agree but unfortunately I think he's one of those people that's totally ok with it. It's hard to believe he doesn't realize it.
@@AILIT1i think he is aware of that and she is aware of that because of her disorder, and he is being a good friend and good person overall to help her
@@laulago3771he knows she is
@@bunnigummi9065 Y'all do not know that man or their situation lol just wish the best for them
Thank you opening up and sharing it with us and for the interview that helps get insight into another person’s mind.
When it comes to laughter, although it sounds like a genuine laughter, I think it is a sort of post trauma coping mechanism that serves as decompression when in uncomfortable, potentially stressful and unpleasant situations similar to yawning.
She should be proud of her self because what she did is amazing 🥺 oh god, I really wanna hug her. She went through so much traumatizing experiences, emotionally invalidation from people around her, even the struggles for meet up with good psychiatric, i really wish you find people who loves you and validate every feeling you had unconditionally.
The way you choose to try understand people or social interaction and being kind despite every struggle you had is amazing, Cassy. Thanks to john that atleast you have someone to be comfortable with and feel save. You guys had my respect!
Enough trauma can literary make you emotionally numb and even "crazy" (whatever that mental disturbance or alteration looks like).
Sociopaths and people with autism are generally considered to be "rational". I wouldn't put them in the crazy category.
This. You can put a wall up and shut down and NT call you “crazy”.
Absolutely! My adult son has autism and was bullied in school. As an adult he wanted friends, but because of autism, he could understand how to make relationships work. He was taken advantage of which caused him emotional trauma. Now he has PTSD and he has encapsulated himself emotionally and now feels apathy (not having feelings), due to the trauma.
I do agree but would keep in mind that will never validate the unfortunate actions that people with this high level of trauma do to others. So yes they need help but the actions that hurt others do to these people being so traumatized is not okay
Agreed.
I've been diagnosed twice with bipolar. They were wrong. I was reacting to situations. That has settled. Childhood trauma is the real source.
I've had a similar experience, to this day i'm still not entirely sure wether i actually have Bipolar or not. My doctors and care team continuously go back and forth between me having bipolar and not, but recently when they realised that I have dissociative identity disorder, they've kinda come to a conclusion that those episodes were more likely to be trauma reactions like identity switches
I’ve stopped identifying with the labels they gave me. I’m capable of so much more than my diagnoses, and once I realized that it was so freeing. I’m just me
@@JamiePackmule1I love this!!!!!! I’m so glad that you were able to identify this and break free! Bravo!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Ah. Better luck next time.
@@jessejohnson9514 I know right? Maybe I'll score with some schizophrenia next time, ya?
as a future psychologist your videos are EXTREMELY educational there's no better way to understand people than hearing it and seeing it directly from them i also admire and learn from the way you communicate with them ! is beautiful to hear their stories, only they can explain what's like to have these disorders and to live with it i think people are INCREDIBLE!
She's so cute and sweet. I hope she can get whst she needs in life.
just to let everyone know, because people make over-simplistic assumptions about autism and emotions, that autistic people can struggle with emotions and not have ASPD. Many have alexithymia, which is where it's difficult to feel and identify emotions in a 'normative' (whatever that is) way. For example, not feeling hungry, or getting confused between emotions and bodily sensations. ASPD is usually trauma related, as are the other PDs. And autistic people experience a lot of trauma.
This is all true. Thank you.
It's important to keep in mind that biologically an ASPD can feel everything. ASPD is a personality that puts down emotions like... For example... "why are you happy?" then stop feeling joy. So ASPD is a disorder where the thoughts get in the way of feeling.
What kind of therapist tells a client that online relationships aren’t “real” ?? That’s so cold
Yes because online relationships isn't real
@@smart_pretty tell that to my online friends that got married earlier this year lol
@@elisthetic
Congratulations to them if they were not gay
@@smart_pretty I meet my husband and father of my 2 child online, we had a relationship online, 1,5 years before we meet face to face. The fact is that, online, one does not need to mask to pretend, one can be more true to it self. That does not mean that she is able to have a relationship outside of that, but that is a relationship non the less.
@@paulacruz6239
Well, I am speaking in general. There may be some exceptions, but the Internet is not a safe place
For dating
She was so on point about the therapist who diagnosed her. That was highly unprofessional of her to react the way she did.
I wish her all the best.🙏🏽💝
The depth of abuse that happened to this woman is so heartbreaking. 😢
Okay, I identify with her on so many levels. I'm confident that she has been misdiagnosed because of her autism. I really wish Complex PTSD had made it into the most recent DSM. I will never forget learning about it, in an article that said they felt like they don't feel human and feel like they are watching the world from the outside. There are some excellent resources out there regarding recovery, but to be honest, it takes serious work and can last a lifetime, but if you want a life worth living and the ability to love and feel joy again, it's worth climbing that mountain.
Yeah I recentl found out I have cptsd (check your psych notes everyone) though I suspected for a while. I'm still trying to learn more but 5 minutes in and I saw myself in her, as an aspie who's gone through trauama.
Also not diagnosing her but she might also have adhd.
I'm 100% on the same wave length as you, she needs someone that *actually* knows what they're doing to help her
Developmental Trauma Disorder
Videos like this make me sad. I don't believe she has antisocial personality disorder. I have two teen girls with autism and many family members with autism and have seen autism in many forms. I agree with previous comments that she has ptsd from trauma, but as far as the symptoms she describes as ASPD is actually her Autism. One of my autistic daughters is very much the same with not understanding social relationships and has very little to no empathy or understanding others feelings. She also copies and masks along with coping other people's personalities because she doesn't understand emotions and wants friends. I could go on. My other daughter is the opposite with empathy and feels everything very deeply and get stuck on emotions. Autism is definitely different for everyone. But I am sad that her Autism is being described as a mental health disorder such as ASPD. It causes further misunderstanding of autism. 😔 I really hope she can get some counselling for her trauma and Autism to better understand her world.
@@lordtette She did say ADHD was one of her diagnoses.
I love Chris' non reaction to her obvious masking reactions to make people comfortable. Chris, you are such a gem and unique soul.
Seriously, he is a kind soul
his approach so genuine and warm
do you mean like the laughing and the smiling
@@catlover4319 yessums
Yeah I was thinking it was cool that he asked "do you" about her saying she feels bad, but, at least to me anyway, it felt like he wanted to know to understand better as opposed to the accusatory way most people would ask if someone actually feels bad when they say they do. It comes across nonjudgmental.
“I feel so bad because my friend is right there”. Caring in a nutshell.
As someone with ASPD: you don't have it, because you are nervous about your mom disowning you. The "therapist" who diagnosed you with it obviously confused ASD and ASPD in you. I can understand the worry about your parent disowning you in case you aren't an adult/ not financially stable. But emotionally? Even worrying about breaking a "relationship" with a person I don't need? No
She seems to be displaying lots of different emotions. She said she gets angry every day. That's an emotion. She talks about the emotional pain she's experienced. When she laughs self-consciously, giggles, feels guilty surely she's feeling some emotion then. She seems to have alexithymia. She's confused. She is aware of other people's needs and masks for their benefit. She has said a lot of things I've heard other autistic people say.
Very interesting interview. I really wish her all the best.
100% agree. I related to her hard as an alexithymic autistic and I'm def not ASPD.
anger, anxiety, depression and euphoria is normal for people with aspd, it just works in a different way
Chill.
no access to positive emotions.
It's more accurate to say that she has a more limited range of emotions. People with ASPD (not a good term for it by the way), feel the base emotions of anger and fear but not higher-level emotions like compassion and love.
It's sad that she can't see how much of a caring person she is. Even if she can't "feel" those feelings (I understand 100%) She is a good person, and she does care. If she didn't, you wouldn't be able to detect the pain in her voice when she opens up about different abandonments, and she also didn't want to hurt her friends feelings. Being a human is hard
This is a prime example of "masking" she is trying to hard to say and do the right thing and not hurt people's feelings
@@Lucailey but why is she doing that?
@@ryanyoung5259Alot of people on the Autism spectrum, mask to not stand out or to seem neurotypical, for neurotypicals sake.
@@ryanyoung5259Self-preservation. Being socially ostracized is hard on most people, because we do live in societies where dealing with others is necessary to function on every level. We all know that if we don't try to fit in we will be treated differently which can negatively affect your life.
The thing is, nobody cares that you don’t or can’t actually feel that you care about them as long as you act like it. People attach so much sentimentality to feelings and intention when it’s really the action and consequences that affect anything at all.
She’s one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen. such a kind and unique soul and heart. ❤️
I hope she feels safe now 🙏 The disconnect and lack of trust in her younger years led to this. Her nervous system is overloaded
She has more of a heart than most neurotypical people I’ve met! I’m a black ND chick, also, so I understand it’s rough not fitting the stereotypical “black woman” role. Masking is also so exhausting! Sending much love to my fellow ND sista!❤
@@lawm1549As a black person in her exact situation, it’s more complicated than that. Not all black people are the same, no, but neurodivergency is heavily looked down on by the majority of our community and we HAVE to mask to be let in. There are people who will be okay with you taking down the mask slowly, but people make so many preconceptions about nd that they decide whether they want to even speak to you or not based on the signs. And that’s for everyone, not just our community, I’m just saying why it’s harder to be let in.
Same here she seems so lovely. She needs so much more support and love Than she received
fr! Some of the meanest comments tend to come from fellow Black people.
Many think I'm rude or dismissive, but I'm actually just riddled with anxiety and expecting the worst.
@@MusikkFreak27you are awesome
Thank you for this, love to you sis
As a therapist, her behavior was highly inappropriate and you did nothing wrong. Thank you for sharing your story. I learned a lot from you!
@@TELKXthey’re talking about how her therapist treated her
@@TELKXI haven't gotten to that part yet and was so confused
As a therapist, you should know to take someone's one-sided interpretation of events with a grain of salt and not say, "You did nothing wrong." When you don't have a clear understanding of the situation.
The way she describes not understanding human interaction and feeling emotions is exactly the way I feel!! I'm not sociopathic but I am autistic and I do still have trouble with feeling "natural" empathy, so it's very comforting to me to see someone I can relate to so much, even how she masks by laughing and smiling!
Thankyou for being so brave in doing this. It's because of people like you Cassy who decide to speak out and teach people that we're able to better understand and empathize with your situation. I saw your interview with Soft white underbelly as well and I have the upmost respect for how you're pushing forward in life despite how hard the world has pushed back against you. You experience feelings differently, but that makes you no less human and you don't deserve to be seen as less than because of something you can't change about yourself.
It's like her brain produces so little serotonin and melatonin she experiences only the dull side of being human. I felt so sad for her though the interview. Big hugs to her.
She started the interview saying she feels like & would describe herself as a different kind of person, & finished it by saying we are just like everyone else. That's quite a fundamental shift. It was like saying her thoughts out loud helped her reached a more positive state. She has more good traits than she realises.. I hope you can find moments of peace, Cassy.
Having someone who just accepted her and listened to her made a huge difference.
I think it can be both, they are different type of people then most and when interacting with them it should be considered, but as for the level of respect you should give someone, or the existence of their emotions, those things are still very much there and like everybody else. They just may have different triggers or ways of conveying those feelings as well as a difference in level of intensity for some of those feelings the point where the fluid nature of feelings makes it difficult to distinguish what there actually feeling. That’s my inference anyway.
❤
Lying is a big part of having ASPD.
They aren't mutually exclusive. She doesn't feel like a normal human and her point at the end is society should be more accepting of people like that because 1 in 30 people are like that. I didn't detect any shift
I dated a man with anti social personality disorder for a year and he didnt care if i didnt love him (i.e. i asked a LOT of questions the first time he told me he didnt experience emotions as broadly as others), as long as i did things FOR him. He kept it somewhat balanced by also being there for me, and turns out he was the only partner who actually gave me presents that I would like; maybe he was so used to reading people that he found the material ways to nurture me faster.
Its kind of like what the person speaking describes: ill care as long as you care for me. Nothing wrong with that, just not for everyone.
To the speaker, hope you find partners to accept you and let you grow because we all deserve links and relationships ❤
Sociopaths read people very well, as he did. He gave you the gifts he knew you would like to manipulate you.
@@jacobus57? or he was just doing something he knew would make her happy
@@jacobus57not every sociopath has malicious intent
@@jacobus57 not all sociopaths are sadistic or constantly plotting. trying to keep your partner happy despite lacking empathy can be for a million reasons. they can still understand reciprocity (i like spending time with you and will reward you for that) despite not empathically identifying with others.
@@jacobus57 I didn't see enough evidence to suggest that the gift-giving was any more manipulative than any other person doing the same practice. Appeasement or reciprocity (neither of which are altruistic, but not inherently as malicious as outright manipulation) could have also been the reason for this behavior.
We shouldn't downplay their struggles and limitations (and we must also set boundaries that keep us safe if we ever feel unsafe or uncomfortable with any person, ASPD or not), but we also need to be careful about pathologizing every single behavior when the message in this interview was a reminder that: while those with ASPD are not exactly like everyone else, they are still people. We also need to hold space for the fact that many (though not all) people with ASPD are also survivors of abuse, and survivors of all backgrounds are often blamed and viewed with suspicion just for having maladaptive schema (which did not develop in a vacuum or by choice necessarily). It also helps abusers without ASPD or NPD hide in plain sight (and considering how rare these disorders are, it's likely that most abusers do not have ASPD).
I can’t get past her hair! I adopted girls from Africa and can tell you she has worked hard on those curls for a long time! Beautiful and so impressive!!
These labels are creating more harm than good. I am confident in the future we will look at this phase as the dark ages of mental health
For those of you wondering why it's called antisocial PD if they're not antisocial, it's because they don't tend to display PROsocial behavior unless there's something to gain. Prosocial behaviors are things like sharing, helping, donating, or co-operating. Generally, things that benefit other people or society as a whole.
Which can be a prominent comorbid behavioral symptom for people with autisim.
I’m autistic and been through trauma. I never thought I had positive emotions to feel but I’ve started feeling them again. I hope you can one day too 💜
Something that helped me a lot was that when I really did get positive emotions, I immediately wrote them down. It's easy to forget that things won't always feel the same.
I have never wanted to reach out and hug someone so much. Keep fighting girl.
She so honest and self aware ☺️
Psychologist myself, please tell her that she needs to check her aspd diagnoses with another professional.
What she describes as aspd is autistic masking and has nothing to do with aspd.
Her behaviour, her body language how she talks and what she talks are extremly different to how aspd people behave like.
Some symptoms of autism are seemingly similar to aspd (aspd, autism, psychopathy, adhd, (c)ptsd, childhood trauma... have all something in common and therby it can be easily misdiagnosed). Hearing her talking, theres nothing that would lead me to think that she has aspd.
One example can be found looking at her example of lying. She lies because she tries to look normal (autistic masking), someone with aspd lies for personal gain.
After hearing it till the end, I would bet anything I own that she doesnt have aspd. The way she was diagnosed, was the most unprofessional way of diagnosis i have ever heard about. Especially when diagnosing cluster b personality disorders, one has to be carefull. What happend to her has nothing to do with a professional diagnosis, those type of professionals are a shame for my profession and should not only have their license revoke but belong to jail for ruining live and creating trauma by diagnosing someone with a wrong cluster b disorder.
I honestly think the same. I sent this video to my friend, and he says that it's almost like he is watching me.
I have been masking autism since always, and I honestly can't take the diagnosis AsPD seriously with the reasons behind the test and diagnosis.
Thank you for this comment. I use to think I was symptomatic of ASPD until my new therapist described what you basically stated here. And I was given the proper diagnoses (CPTSD, ADHD, and bipolar disorder)
Thank you! Right from the get go, I could tell it was either a misdiagnosis or straight up projection.
I fully agree
@@snowredsnow666 fortunately, in one of her recent personal videos, she made it clear that that diagnosis is now in the past tense.
I can't believe she was diagnosed as a ASPD just from a quick test by a therapist that was not professional during session and she carries this diagnosis as part of her identity. She should really be reavaluated. I'm autistic, ADHD, anxiety, and depression and I feel like her, but I don't have a ASPD diagnosis. She is not showing signs of lack of empathy. Lying is a response to trauma but a questionaire alone shouldn't be the only means for this diagnosis.
Same
@@juliannehannes11 True
You are two different people she obviously isn’t going to tell us everything.
You are not owed her medical history. Calm down.
I feel like you are mistaking a moral compass for empathy. ASPD doesn't mean you can't understand ethics. Also for a lot of the interview she is still masking and to my intrepertation her hesitation on dropping it isn't because of empathy but perhaps because of the consequences that have happened before when dropping it.
Sounds like she's a normal person who has attached to labels of disorders to cope with her life traumas. I hope she can heal and just live her life in peace
This is such an incredible interview. Thank you for sharing your life! I hope you find the safety that is needed to process your anger and live freely without judgement