Being asexual homoromantic

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  • Опубликовано: 23 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 82

  • @kevinlee2504
    @kevinlee2504 6 месяцев назад +41

    You are absolutely normal to want someone you can get to know and have a connection without sex being the main thing.

  • @Sean-dl8ym
    @Sean-dl8ym 2 месяца назад +21

    I'm totally asexual androromantic (I consider myself agender personally) so I feel you. All I want is 8 hour cuddles and deep love

    • @Uranianth
      @Uranianth  2 месяца назад +6

      sending hugs and warm vibes your way💛

  • @sevendegrees
    @sevendegrees 3 месяца назад +23

    Finally!! I’m not alone? This is such a relief to hear. Being around all these gays who have so much anonymous hookups via the apps. So shallow and toxic to be in the dating world as a gay man, it can very much feel hopeless.

    • @Zadir09
      @Zadir09 2 месяца назад +2

      i’m not a gay man but I love my male friends and we aren’t as good to each other as we should be. Guys have it tough in particular areas and only other men understand that feeling. I just want to have a conversation with another man about something other than vapid nonsense. I just like being one of the boys, there’s no stress.

    • @shore5307
      @shore5307 Месяц назад

      Same here. Gay guy here who wants a deep emotional and spiritual connection. Gay guys I know just want sex. They don't want to be genuinely loved. I'm still looking. Edits for grammar

  • @sebastiencalandrini9650
    @sebastiencalandrini9650 Год назад +17

    I totally relate to what you say because I've always felt the same so it feels completely natural and sensible to me.

  • @danielesteve8359
    @danielesteve8359 6 месяцев назад +18

    I always said I'm a homosensual, not a homosexual

    • @francescocerasuolo4064
      @francescocerasuolo4064 2 месяца назад +2

      but sexuality is not about sex, it's about attraction to a sex. and sensuality is about the body, not the soul.

  • @universalconsciousnessjaso7979
    @universalconsciousnessjaso7979 Месяц назад +6

    For those of us who seek deep connections, we must truly view the way the gay community identifies themselves. Just the homo and heterosexual titles automatically imprint definitions. I am one that has walked your path. Even my straight male friends would start to become emotionally drawn to me because they sexually had no outlet to express themselves beyond a certain point through our connections. When you speak about seeking such deep connections, the key is understanding that most people truly want it, but deeply fear it at the same time. I found that just keeping my own company gives me all that I truly need. I'm not sure how you are doing at this point in your journey, but finding the deep spiritual connection you speak of is truly a solo journey to loving yourself. But my advice is to attempt to drop all definitions of yourself, spirits like us are uniquely complex. For who we are, seems solely determined by what we know. Our spiritual evolution as a species has nothing to do with our sexual preferences, it's so so much more.

  • @ignacioblas2549
    @ignacioblas2549 2 месяца назад +5

    Lots of gay/bi guys will relate to this. This is actually quite a common issue but nobody talks about it. I can relate to this and maybe it helps to tell you there are more people out there with genuine interest in having a real relationship not just based on sex. What you are describing can enter into the asexual spectrum maybe more as demisexual but anyways I really think this is quite normal and there is so much solitude within the gay community because lots of people wants a genuine supportive relationship but I think because of male socialization it's difficult to find commitment and a link over sex. Don't worry you are amazing and you'll find someone eventually!! I did!!! ❤

    • @keriannekerr1876
      @keriannekerr1876 14 дней назад

      I wonder if it's asexuality if the possibility starts years after puberty. In those cases, is it just maturing? I know of two gay guys (separate situations, I don't think they know each other) who had fun in their 20s but by 30s wanted commitment and didn't like the expectation to hook up.
      (I say this as a 35 y o woman who always knew I was sexually attracted to woman but never cared about relationships enough to bother with pursuing a relationship.)

  • @jericor8335
    @jericor8335 Месяц назад +4

    I feel you. I'm a demi homoromantic asexual. I prefer intimacy more than sex. But most of the guys I dated preferred sex, that's why I've been engaging in sexual activities. But I know deep down I've always been asexual. I prefer having deep conversations, spending quality time, and being intimate with my boyfriend, if and when I end up having one.

  • @pv-mm2or
    @pv-mm2or 2 месяца назад +5

    I understand what your saying, which is why a lot of sexual relationships between closeted gay guys often occur sometimes after years of friendship each not knowing that each of you have fantasy's about the other but the friendship is more important than sexual desire, your connection with the other guy is so strong that each of you is afraid of losing the other if you come out the closet, many finally get together by chance the bond drawing you closer with every close encounter, then desire takes over I often hear of guys saying , " iv'e dream of this since we first met" and the other replying "so have I! why didn't you say something! the universal and most honest answer to this is, " because I couldn't bare to lose you you are my closest Friend and i think I love you!!, this is one of the most common scenarios known to men.

  • @brentblasabas5212
    @brentblasabas5212 2 года назад +13

    I very relate to you being homoromantic asexual is very tough for being this sexuality. But I just wanna say, be who you are. Your feelings is valid no matter what your preferences is or standard you have when it comes relationship because we want to be have a healthy relationship. So I hope you're doing good right now and be a healthy human being. If you wanna talk to me feel free to talk to me, if you have time.

    • @Uranianth
      @Uranianth  2 года назад +7

      thanks man. ya you can hit me up if you want im always willing to chat. i have my contact info on my bio and about me playlist/penpals video.

  • @davidparkes3701
    @davidparkes3701 4 месяца назад +3

    I wish I knew someone like you on a deeper level. I hope that person finds you if they haven't already.

  • @matthewdeitch7336
    @matthewdeitch7336 5 дней назад

    This is an hi education for me. I'm queer and sexually open. One of my best buds told me that he and his partner are both asexual and I didn't understand that. You've shed light onto the mindset that goes with that choice-

  • @linoemanuele8353
    @linoemanuele8353 6 месяцев назад +11

    We are all spiritual beings having a physical experience .

  • @MichaelOlinger-o2u
    @MichaelOlinger-o2u 5 месяцев назад +4

    Congrats to you for being so honest. I definitely can relate. Because I’m this way, I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot of opportunities for sex. Very isolating

  • @peterbradshaw5272
    @peterbradshaw5272 Год назад +10

    This video really resonates with me. I am a gay ace (homoromantic asexual). You make so many good points in this video. One term I like is sex-favourable as it better describes personal behaviour over a more political point of view (like sex-positivity). I 100% agree that communication is so important in any relationship but especially in an allo-ace partnership.
    On the point wanting to deeply know you partners mind/true personality…. I think the issue is many males have serious issues showing their vulnerable sides and allowing themselves to be emotional available. My gut feeling is toxic masculinity is at fault.

    • @slaturwinters1828
      @slaturwinters1828 Год назад +2

      As a gay male I've noticed and experienced more drama and heartache from femmes than masc men.

    • @mikicerise6250
      @mikicerise6250 2 месяца назад

      I'm a bisexual male. Personally, I haven't found women much better than men, masculine or not. They're different about it, call it toxic femininity if you like, but it's fundamentally the same crap. The culture we live in is just vapid, and it produces emotional and intellectual husks, infants fixated on superficial self-gratification, entirely disinterested in seeing the soul of a person. People are consumers, and their 'partners' are just one more product to be consumed and discarded as soon as they're past their use-by date. What are called 'relationships' are not worthy of the name.

  • @seanwaters8886
    @seanwaters8886 Месяц назад +1

    Thank you for voicing this. Your share is very helpful to me. I relate 100%

  • @gideonros2705
    @gideonros2705 4 месяца назад +5

    If Im honest, I became asexual simply because I disliked my own body, and I find most average people sexually unattractive. In my life, I never received a flattering compliment about my looks, quite the opposite, there were a lot of negative remarks. So I know it's not just my self-assessment that's negative. It would be a dream of mine to have a nonsexual partnership.

  • @tommeadows-ie2xb
    @tommeadows-ie2xb 2 месяца назад +1

    What you said at 3:30 is true generally. Inside or outside of a dating context approx zero people will inquire about your background or interests. They may listen but are usually just processing their own thoughts. Meanwhile you've expended your own energy and exposed yourself to no purpose. I do some people who aren't robots, 3 actually, haha.

  • @BlackBoyInGlasses
    @BlackBoyInGlasses 6 месяцев назад +2

    Heartbreak High (2022, Netflix) - Darren might be good representation/interesting.

  • @joec.9591
    @joec.9591 Месяц назад +2

    It sounds to me like you have your priorities entirely in order. You consider maturation to be the defining contributor to a healthy relationship of equals. This is healthy behavior, and there is nothing odd or off about it. That said, it is also not the norm in our society. It's a harder path, but can lead to the best outcome possible. I wish you the best in your journey.

    • @Uranianth
      @Uranianth  Месяц назад +1

      thank you! same to ya :)

  • @kk440635NORWAY
    @kk440635NORWAY 5 месяцев назад +3

    I am also gayromantic asexual, I found my boyfriend on an gay dating app, never thought I should be so lucky to find a man who is both asexual and homoromantic, however, me and him have a few times a littlebit drive, but sexual activity between me and his is about 4 or 5 times a year😂, and feels just a little bit good, its not like "woooow this is soooo amazing", giving a hug or eating a good meal feel much better than sex 😂
    I like romance better than erotic, sitting beside him in the sofa, holding his hand, sleeping in bed together (without sexual activity), taking a shower together (without sexual activity) holding my arm around him in bed is a beautiful feeling, the few times a year when we have sex we always regret when we are finish, but still it happening two or tree times more in a year😂, the tought of sex, the fantacy of sex is nice, but as soon as the actions starts the exitment stop and we become embarresed when we are finnish, so yeah, im homoromantic, but am I asexual??? Hard to say? Some say asexuality is somrene who never wanna have sex, while other say it can also be like I say people who never wanna have sex, but it can be define in two ways that it can also include people who almost never wanna have sex , but in some kind of way want it sometimes, but don't have a great drive and don't get that "AWSOME" feeling

    • @grunerbereich6726
      @grunerbereich6726 Месяц назад

      The best definition of asexuality that I've ever heard is:
      The only thing that connects all asexuals is the lack of sexual attraction. How big it(the lack) is, what you fantasize about or do in realife can be anything.

  • @kylewright1142
    @kylewright1142 2 месяца назад +2

    friend- your videos have been appearing in my recomended lists a lot of late.... i know not why..... but i click them, even if i only half listen. sometimes i think you're cute..... sometimes i appreciate the honesty..... sometimes i want to wonder..... are you okay????? the struggle is real..... i'm too often in the midst of it myself a a gender nonconforming person with external plumbing who tends to like masculine men...... but..... enough about me.... to want to tell you..... you are not alone, and your honesty is appreciated..... for what it's worth from a stranger in maine?????

  • @a_person1226
    @a_person1226 17 дней назад

    I've dated a few people in my life, and the best relationship I've ever been was with somebody who was on the ace spectrum and we didn't have sex for the entirety of the relationship. They were my best friend before the relationship, during, and even now. I'm closer to them than anyone else in my life and they are the only person who I have felt fully myself around. Also, I'm demi-romantic so romance isn't something I do often and I haven't felt romantic attraction outside of 2 people (and it's been 5 years since I last developed romantic feelings for someone)

  • @Memoreism
    @Memoreism 2 месяца назад +1

    My boyfriend is a little bit like that. The difference in our sex drives is striking lol. I have a high sex drive so I feel excited each time. For him, he could go a month with no sex and hardly notice, lol. But we've communicated to gain an understanding of each other, and we respect each other's boundaries. Our relationship has many facets, and this is only one part of it. The biggest thing really is just to have open communication so that you can understand each other and learn and grow together.

  • @PaulKapow
    @PaulKapow Месяц назад

    Thanks for speaking on this. I'm learning about these things about myself.

  • @zbl28
    @zbl28 Месяц назад

    This is exactly what I have been looking for 10+ years and still can’t find anyone (outside of you) with this clear and positive mindset. Maybe you’re my soulmate and I don’t even know it yet hmm.

  • @mikicerise6250
    @mikicerise6250 2 месяца назад

    I'm a demi/bisexual and biromantic, INFP guy. I completely relate to everything you say. Wish I could get to know you better. You seem so sweet, gentle and genuine, and so knocked around. Just want to give you a hug and converse with you until you feel seen. Life is not easy for us... World is just not made for people like us.

    • @Uranianth
      @Uranianth  2 месяца назад +1

      thank you kind words and sharing your perspectives :) i appreciate it . Being an introvert in this world is rough indeed

  • @lmlimpoism
    @lmlimpoism 5 месяцев назад +1

    i honestly see sex as just a special thing, i wouldn't want to have it often, but just once in a while. it's not something you need to love someone.

  • @Wes-Tyler
    @Wes-Tyler 6 месяцев назад +2

    I feel opposite of that. Mainly homosexual but never had much feelings for men romantically

    • @Johnnyiswhere
      @Johnnyiswhere 6 месяцев назад

      Too much porn?

    • @francescocerasuolo4064
      @francescocerasuolo4064 2 месяца назад +1

      @@Johnnyiswherethere's something wrong with you. how can you say this?

    • @francescocerasuolo4064
      @francescocerasuolo4064 2 месяца назад +1

      i see you,
      i have felt this way for a very long time.
      i've even considered myself aromantic, although i was just bonding with aromantic people and their experiences and struggle against amatonormativity.
      i reached the conclusion that my struggle was nonetheless against heteronormativity. i always knew i was a sexual being, and this came natural to me. i am a very sensual person, i love the body.
      unfortunately for a long time i thought love between men as inconceivable (it's crazy to get to know how much social norms had brainwashed me into isolation).
      now i can finally look at men with a more gentle light.

  • @stevenjwiles
    @stevenjwiles День назад

    Your just fine the way you are and there's someone out there for you.

  • @seekerhonest
    @seekerhonest 6 месяцев назад +2

    Absolutely ok!

  • @knitterscheidt
    @knitterscheidt 11 месяцев назад

    I came of age in the 80s. while I participated in sex my general lack of interest or boredom with sex caused multiple relationships to fail. I loved those men deeply but just didn't feel intense sexual desire. recently a friend in his 20s told me he is ace. never heard this term before and he's such an exceptional, dear guy I felt I needed to learn more. in the process i discovered my own asexuality in that spectrum, somewhere. yes you can be asexual homoromantic! I wish I'd met that guy.

  • @kylejmathis649
    @kylejmathis649 3 месяца назад +1

    I've never related to someone so much from such a short video. Would love to know if you have found any resolve from this!

  • @flyjet787
    @flyjet787 5 месяцев назад +1

    I'm similar. I desire sex in the first weeks of a relationship. After that, my desire becomes almost exclusively romantic.

  • @Not-Ap
    @Not-Ap 3 года назад +2

    06:14 I agree with you and I think you are right but I I don't what the answer to this is. I think it says more about the culture we are living in then us as individuals.

    • @Uranianth
      @Uranianth  3 года назад +2

      true..but most individuals choose to blindly follow toxic culture without questioning the flaws.

    • @Not-Ap
      @Not-Ap 3 года назад +1

      @@Uranianth That's human nature unfortunately. That's why the term "sheeple" came about. Most people simply do not naturally think critically so it had to be taught in the school systems. It's not anymore sadly and so we have to deal with the fall out of that today.

    • @Uranianth
      @Uranianth  3 года назад +1

      @@Not-Ap yep :/

  • @steveng-my6zk
    @steveng-my6zk 6 месяцев назад +1

    You are very sweet, and this will all work itself out. Don’t worry. You will be fine. When I was younger I was just like you. It does get better, you will be fine, and you will find your happiness. ❤️❤️

  • @adriennedy6917
    @adriennedy6917 Месяц назад +1

    Me too

  • @francescocerasuolo4064
    @francescocerasuolo4064 2 месяца назад +3

    as a Homosexual, you're seen.

  • @e.akhmet
    @e.akhmet 2 месяца назад +5

    If you simply prioritize emotional connection, but sex as such is acceptable and desirable for you - in my opinion, this is absolutely norm. You could say that you are demisexual, or that promiscuity is just not your cup of tea, but I think these words are unnecessary. What you described - first a deep emotional connection, and only then physical contact - is absolutely normal.

  • @Lari_crescent_moon
    @Lari_crescent_moon Год назад +1

    I used to identify as an asexual lesbian but now I’m curious about homoromantic asexuality. Is there a difference of are they just different ways of saying the same thing? They sound pretty similar.
    Like, I develop crushes instantly when I see someone I find attractive but only their face and hair and whatever. I’ve never been attracted to one’s body per say. I don’t want to have s*x and I’ve never had a desire to. I really relate to this video, though. I’ve never dated anyone but I feel like I want a romantic and or sensual relationship and not a sexual one. I feel like I *could* have s*x if I felt a really deep connection to the person and they really wanted to, be other than that I don’t think I would. I mostly just want to have a connection to someone

    • @Uranianth
      @Uranianth  Год назад +1

      hey yeah they are different things. because there are also asexual aromantic people, just like there are asexual heteroromantic ones. and i understand what youre saying. so its like youre primarily asexual and perhaps there is a demisexual part to you as well. ?

    • @Lari_crescent_moon
      @Lari_crescent_moon Год назад +1

      @@Uranianth yeah. I think so :)

    • @PyramidTom
      @PyramidTom 6 месяцев назад

      @@Uranianth I am ace too. I understand "asexual lesbian" and "homoromantic asexuality" as the same thing, both mean she dont want sex but would have a relatinship with another women.

  • @lglg6950
    @lglg6950 Месяц назад

    Abstinence is the only sexual deviancy, no creature is ever abstinent by choice.

  • @ashdoulton2698
    @ashdoulton2698 8 месяцев назад +3

    I think you are a wonderful person and I would love to have got to know you

  • @remiborgen8925
    @remiborgen8925 6 месяцев назад +1

    I can relate.

  • @marksmith-jp5gy
    @marksmith-jp5gy 4 дня назад

    awe

  • @Justsomeguy99012
    @Justsomeguy99012 Месяц назад

  • @gregruns
    @gregruns 5 месяцев назад +2

    There is nothing wrong. Asexualism and demisexualism is represented all across the board of humanity, free of any orientation.

  • @danielweber7012
    @danielweber7012 Месяц назад +1

    If you want to You got it. Make it happen.. if u ever wanna find all that I can bring your massive want for life to be the best to the real world... The whole Oret Sexualization of humanity sorta Really ruined the ways of decent folk. if you fdup you prolly missed getting to know your great grandparents. They would be so sad about how this turned out after all their hard work... I can't even with the world but this handsome guy sure made it a bit better for the time being.. k

  • @dans902
    @dans902 6 месяцев назад +1

    Why bother trying to define yourself as this or that when everyone is on the continuum somewhere. Just concentrate on being the man you are and your own virtues and go forth in life.

    • @Johnnyiswhere
      @Johnnyiswhere 6 месяцев назад +1

      Because, most gay guys can’t go two seconds without asking top or bottom. It’s annoying as hell

  • @effeo9962
    @effeo9962 7 месяцев назад +1

    Why do only gorgeous people say this?

  • @ShawnRiddick
    @ShawnRiddick 2 месяца назад +1

    I wouldn't call that asexual... some people just like to have a connection first and not just f*uck around

  • @dans902
    @dans902 6 месяцев назад +1

    Hi, you’re it harsh or weird at all. Stick to your beliefs and personal values which are high and should attract a man that prizes all those things that are you. If I’d have had the opportunity to meet you or a guy like you I would have been over the moon.
    I just think it may help you to do as I did and stop 4:37 defining as gay, because it is only an activity and a behavior but NOT who or what you are. The best thing I ever did was turn in my membership card. I accept my friends if all orientations as individuals however they define.
    I used to be an astrologer, and I think you may be one too.
    I definitely like men erotically and mostly emotionally and romantically but when I was young inSan Francisco that was ‘ too heavy’ and nerdy and very alienating to express ANY interest in anyone beyond sex which would also be one time, maybe 2 if they were desperate enough and 7:53 I 7:53 worked out and was a model briefly too. I have to quit pecking at this annoying device now with hard to control cursor and making corrections.

    • @Uranianth
      @Uranianth  6 месяцев назад +1

      thanks for sharing story and pov!! :)

  • @kmauryo
    @kmauryo 2 месяца назад

    Well let me propose 2 U and be your new. Hubby🥹💞🌹

  • @karlomorosin7880
    @karlomorosin7880 Месяц назад