So I have been deeply confused about my sexuality for a very long time and this comment kind of changed everything for me. I've identified as being on the asexual spectrum for a while now, but have not been able to find a more specific label that resonated with me. Until reading this comment I had never heard of the term aegosexual, so I looked it up and things just...... fell into place. I've spent so many years feeling weird and wrong and broken because of my unconventional feelings regarding sex, and realising that that there is a word to describe those feelings and that there are other people who share them has been immensely freeing and validating for me. Sorry if this is weird, I just wanted to thank you because this was an amazing moment of self-realisation for me, one that might never have happened if not for this comment.
I'm asexual and omniromantic, and I've never felt so good in any labels as I feel in these - normally I tell people that I am just bi, because people dont get that my sexual attraction and my romantic attraction are separated and, in my case, completely oposite.
Aye, same!! I also have a very similar experience with just saying bi since most people don't know omnisexuality/omniromantic. I also find with my asexuality that the label "aegosexual" fits my experience best, but I just call myself asexual when people ask since its the umbrella term
I'm so glad you commented this. I am confused as all hell, cause asexuality always seems to imply aromanticism as well - and that's REALLY not me. I just don't know what to call it, I just say I'm bi. frankly I don't think it's anyone else's business whether or not my partner and I fuck?! what we do with each other is our business!
Seems like I'm a few of these. 'Asexual' is just easier and gives me lots of wiggle room. Remember that labels should serve you, not the other way around. It's okay to have several, none, or change around.
5:26 - 5:40 : "This is an important ones because I think a lot of people are under the impression that if you're asexual you're always asexual or that your sexuality can't be influenced by the events that happened in your life, which is not true." I once came across the story of an woman that once was polyamorous and attracted to guys and other genders, but unfortunately because of a trashy ex-boyfriend she had, now she only desires monogamous relationships with women or enbies.
We also have to be Careful with this point... Because remember a lot of people think people are certain sexualities JUST because of trauma-- they are "damaged", Because they "spent too much time around women" or whatever else and use that as a reasoning for why these sexualities shouldn't exist
@@htsunmiku We should not deny the power that traumas have over our lives, but we also should not generalize, since the majority of people experience love the way they do simply because that is the way they do. I am prerty sure that I am trans, ace, gray-bi, and fluidamorous NOT because past traumas. Quite the opposite, I actually do have traumas FOR being who I am in an hostile world, but I am who I am NOT because I have traumas.
I consider myself demisexual but I do have a high sex drive the only problem is that I don't like having random sex obviously and it's hard to make connections with people when I'm an introvert. I feel kinda lucky that I managed to meet someone I could form a connection with but it's not romantic and we agreed to become friends with benefits. We both don't really want a relationship but we have good chemistry.
@@htsunmiku lmao if people assume that aces are "caused by tràümã" just because some people have experiences like that, then they clearly need to meet me, who became the opposite of a stereotypical "repulsed ace" because I felt extremely peer pressured by students and people I meet to date/høök ūp with someone, as well as other stuff caused from bad sēxûål experiences lmao, I was openly ace before all these stuff happened too :'D In all seriousness, you definitely have a point, identities, if they are something completely out of your control and you're not denying anything, is completely valid, especially since identities are more fluid than we think.
I've been wondering for a while now, whether I'm some flavor of asexual. The confusing thing is, that I'm drawn to the idea of being sexually intimate with someone, but when I'm actually in the situation I most often have this feeling of "this is awkward, and kinda boring. And can you not kiss me on the mouth? hmm I kinda want to be alone watching RUclips" but then again after a while of being on my own, without a sexual partner I feel like I'm missing it. It can be really distressing at some point, because I don't wanna hurt the other person by telling them to go.
Hmmm do you experience sexual attraction? Or are you just interested in the idea of sex? The two are different. To me it sounds like the latter and that says to me that you are asexual who just experiences bouts of lust. Hormones can be a bitch. But you know yourself better than me. If you feel comfortable with the label asexual then use it. If you change your mind later thats fine too. Hope ive helped in some way.
@@SaviourInDistress hey, thanks for your comment it definitely helped me a bit. hmm I don't know... I think I've definitely experienced sexual attraction to guys. But I think It might be that my standards for that are just.. u know, unreasonably high (we can probably blame social media here). Another thing that I've thought about in this context is, that it might be connected to my ADHD. It's really hard for me to keep doing one thing at a time for a longer period of time (like I'm constantly looking through my phone while watching shows that I'm actually interested in), so maybe my urge to met people and find a boyfriend comes from the curiosity of encountering someone new. But when I know him a bit and he's not looking like the dream prince I'm (unreasonably so) looking for, I loose interest. I don't know it's confusing and fluctuates way to much so I might just identify as some rare flavor of ace.
I might be wrong, but that sounds a bit like rosesexual. It means that you like the idea of sex and sexual attraction, but lose those feelings when you imagine yourself in that situation, or just lose those feelings after a short period of time. There is also roseromantic, which means the same thing but for romantic attraction. I, myself am rosesexual. You might not relate to this label at all, but I hope I helped in some way ^ ^
For a long time I believed myself to be demisexual, but recently I’ve felt it’s more complicated than that.. this video opened up more options than online searching has done for me! Thank you so much for making this and helping me hopefully pinpoint my attraction on the spectrum
Thank you so much for mentioning fictosexuality! I’m aware of how “cringey” fictosexuality can sound to most. As for me, I simply prefer the novelty of certain fictional concepts and characters over real people! I’ve never felt for real people what I do for fictional characters.
I'm so happy to know I'm not alone! Because all my life I've felt romantic and sexual attraction but never for someone irl and I was so confused and just though, but now know this I feel so much better.
Yeah, sexuality can be effected by your life experiences. Your experiences don't create your sexuality, but they can and often do have effects on how you interact with your sexuality. For example if a person is bisexual but had a really bad relationship with a guy in college, then they may seek future relationships with exclusively women. This doesn't change their sexuality, they are still Bisexual. But past experiences have influenced how they want to interact with their sexuality.
Literally! Like, I'm hetero. Even if my sexuality is strong to men, its hard for me to find them attractive. It doesn't mean that I don't want any relationship with them but my past experiences affects my relationships with them on romantic state. When they show me some interest in me, i can't do anything cause i automatically cuts off any relationship. Even if I fight with myself, it's hard for me to live having on mind thoughts that someone likes me that way. I'm automatically scared, my body shake almost for whole day. I can't sleep and even can't get up from bed. I'm trying to recover and working on myself cause i know that something is wrong with me.
Oh that makes way more sense! When they said that part about life experiences changing your sexuality, I was thinking that’s kind of a problematic statement because it implies that gay people are somehow “made” that way and aren’t just born that way. But the way you phrased it helped clarify. Your sexual orientation can’t change, but the way you experience and express it absolutely can!
Honestly lately I have been wanting to look into and learn more about asexual and aromantic identities, and this is helping. I have been very confused lately due to the fact that while I do experience sexual attractions/feelings, the idea of actually having sex with someone/the act itself seems really unappealing to me, almost like I see it as gross or something, unless I am already having strong romantic feelings for them and are in a relationship. Most the time if I get 'crushes' it only lasts like a week and it feels like I am forcing myself to have those feelings/trying to hang onto them, and I may be hyperfixating on that particular person more then genuinely wanting to date them. It's all been confusing, but I am hoping to learn more in general to both understand myself and others better.
SAME! In some instances i have sexual thoughts but doing anything about them or thinking beyond that makes me extremely queasy and nauseous. (Thats the best way i can describe it) Also i have heard that the way crushes work is that you develop a crush and usually that crush will go away by the 3 month mark and if it goes on longer then you feel actual love for them. But you may also be aromanic, and im sure like that it is also a spectrum and you might find something that’s comfortable there.
Me too! I think that's called sex-repulsed demisexual. I have the sexual thoughts and attraction sometimes but the idea of doing something makes me so uncomfortable like ugh *shudders* Amd yeah I hyperfixate on people usually for a couple months then it goes away.
the crush part is so relatable to me oh my god. there's this guy i was completely obsessed with and got really nervous over. we barely talked but all i could think about was him and i thought i wanted to date him. i'd get so anxious that i'd skip class. this only lasted a couple weeks and it just like, went away?? i kept telling myself i liked this guy and hung onto those feelings. it was weird haha. good luck on ur self-discovery journey!
@@shlawgb0b is there a possibility that u found a label or anything for that? because i feel like that too but i dont really know what label that could be or a name for it🧍
I am asexual and this was wonderful! It is so nice to see more stuff like this. It seems that people think you need to try more things or you just don’t really know and will “figure” it out eventually. But we know who we are 🥰
Ok so I love how you shined light on members of the ace spectrum, so I’m gonna do the same. I’d like to introduce all of you to orchidsexuality. Basically, being orchidsexual means you have and feel sexual attraction however you do not feel an urge to act upon this attraction.
My search: 5 Signs you're Goth. RUclips: were you searching for Asexuality? Me: WELL I AM NOW!!! Joking aside, when I first heard the meaning of Asexuality my first thought was that it was comfy. Like a warm blanket on a cold night comfy ^_^ Your videos and some research (Reddit is surprisingly helpful) I've started taking notes and writing things out just in case It's really just my avoident personality disorder and my self isolation ^^;
I'M SO HAPPY YOU TALKED ABOUT FICTOSEXUALITY💜💜💜 I often feel the burden of not belonging to a common sexuality and I'm so glad someone else is here to educate us! Fictosexuality is REAL, and it is VALID! If anyone has any questions about fictosexuality, just ask me!
I have questions about it, honest curiosity. Would you be interest in being a guest on my podcast, over zoom? Or maybe I could just email you questions or as them here.
i recently had a negative sexual experience that really turned my whole perspective and understanding of my sexuality into chaos. this video really has started to help me sort through that. thank you
My sexual attraction has always changed and shifted quite rapidly making relationships in general very difficult with a combination of Grayomanticism and being Aroflux,this video really helped me understand myself more so thank you
Ever since I researched it for myself a year or so ago, every so often I get ace-related stuff recommended to me by RUclips. I'm glad I watched this - I feel like I learned some things! I only knew about a couple of these. I've just been calling myself ace, but I _think_ quoisexual might be right for me... will have to -overthink- consider that one :)
After watching this video I’m convinced that if more people learned about the LGBTQIA+ community and the different sexualities a lot more people would find themselves reflected in the terms and identity as members and then we wouldn’t be a minority. Also thank you for including cupiosexual, because I identify as cupiosexual
exactly, most people probably are lgbt but don't consider them as it because they've never been in the community or think being aroace isn't real or whatever.
This is why I love microlabels, even though I don't personally identify with any. Microlabels can address nuances that may not even come to mind with just using the umbrella labels. The human experience is infinitely weird and nuanced, so our labels need to reflect that.
@The Perks of being a Bookworm Could you tell me something more about your experience? Is it as tragic, as I think it is - not being able to experience feelings you dream of? I might be a cupiosexual, as I want to have a sexual relationship, but I am 18 now and I have never had a crush (even a childhood crush on a cartoon character, which is normal among my friends).
@@aleksandram. just wanted to let you know, asexual is not the same as aromantic. Not having sexual attraction is asexual, as the video states, but not having romantic attraction (like crushes) is aromantic. You can be both aromantic and asexual, or you could be just aromantic, or just asexual. Sorry if you already knew this, and I mean no disrespect at all, I hope it doesn’t come off as rude
Technically if I wanted to label myself something, I'd be fraysexual. However it just seems to needlessly complicate things for no reason- I understand my own sexuality without needing to put a label on it, and even so lumping myself into asexual doesn't feel right. I don't want to intrude on LGBTQ+ spaces, because although sometimes it can be a pain I've never experienced the bigotry that others face. However if that helps others, then great.
I love how you talked about fictosexual and caedsexual. I've seen those labels get hated on even within the ace community which is sad to see. I haven't really used the fictosexual label despite it describing my experience because of the hate it gets. And I can't stand the arguments about asexuality in relation to trauma... Some people get mad at the caedsexual label because they believe it perpetuates the belief that all aces are ace because of trauma, but I just don't understand that argument. One sub-label doesn't apply to everyone under the umbrella. And I don't think trauma survivors should be forced to sort through their feelings in order to figure out if they are "ace enough" yknow? It shouldn't matter WHY a person identifies with a label or what caused them to experience attraction (or lack thereof) the way that they do, what matters is how that person feels and if they feel a label describes them then they should be able to use it without people gatekeeping
Your voice sounds so kind and welcoming and calming, like I just know somebody watching this is about to get a bit scared figuring out who they are but once they hear your voice they'll feel safe 🥺
thank you for being open to fictosexuality as an identity. As I am under that umbrella and I'm often mocked of not taken seriously. so I appreciate your acceptance.❤😄
Aww! I'm asexual too, specifically aegosexual, and I love fictional characters! ^_^ It might seem like a weird or creepy thing to be attracted to the idea of s*x in an abstract way, but it's just the way that I am, especially since I got into reading slash fan-fiction as a teenager, and I wasn't ever s*xually attracted to anyone in real life! I love enjoying and bonding with fictional characters through s*xual experiences, with H*ntai manga and anime, and Boys Love/Y*oi manga and anime! :D I'm proud to love what I love, and be what I am! :D
@@megalisa830bright6 I'm like that too since I was a kid, I always had crush on anime boys then characters in movies and books but I never thought it was a thing until now.. I'm really glad to hear that it's a common thing
@@whateverbabe Aww! I'm glad that you found out more about yourself! ^_^ I'm glad that more people are accepting of asexuality and its other labels! And yeah, I will always love cute anime male fictional characters! :D
This is a thing.... I thought it was just me, and I was weird, OMG I need to tell my friend that my dumb brain has a name.... omg I just googled it, I'm more on the fictoromantic, but both terms explain so many things....
I'm almost a year late to this but THANK YOU!! I've been looking into ace identities (both sexual and romantic) for a while because they seem to represent my experiences the best, but it's hard to figure things out 😅 This helped a lot to clarify some things. I'm still not sure which label to use but some of these are a lot closer to what I've felt than others I've heard of, so thanks for making this.
I love that there are educational sources for this kind of thing on the internet! I’m aceflux and a lot of us (as well as pretty much the rest of the asexual community) go completely unnoticed!
I am so glad I clicked on this video because I’ve been trying to explain to people how I felt sexually and I was never really able to do it and I always ended up confusing them. I *knew* what I felt I just couldn’t describe it in a way that made sense to other people. Now that I’ve seen cupiosexual, I feel like it really fits how I feel. Thank you!
Yo literally thank you so much for this video. It’s took me over a year to finally discover what I probably am thanks to this video. I now see that I am reciporomantic as well as being quosexual! I have always noticed that I begin to show attraction to someone after I know they like me back. Thank you so much for this video I’ll definitely come back to this channel for every new upload 🖤🤍💜
Thanks so much for this video, honestly I've been so confused of my identity and I didn't know what category I fallen in. On one hand, I felt sexual attraction to both men and women so I thought I was just bi, but then I started to realize how I felt with other people when I had sexual attraction to them and didn't had any interest in becoming a relationship with them or them liking me back. I was so confused and just thought it was a phase. 5 years passed and still happened until I saw this video. I finally understand where I fall into and accept myself for my identity. Thank you so much again!
This is a very interesting video, thank you! I am allosexual, but I like to learn about other people's identities to understand them better. I didn't know there were so many different ace-spec identities! :)
Wow why had I never looked this up before. Spent the last 12 years of my life thinking I was weird or something was wrong with me because I didn't know what I was. Thank you
I now know the exact name of my asexuality! Caedsexual. I was always told that my sexuality couldn't be caused by life events. Thank you for bringing this to light for me, and thank you for representing! You're amazing friend. . . . . I'm Transmasc Non-Binary and my pronouns are He/They (Automatically sharing because it's just how I be, luv!)
Hey hey in case you didn't read the description (I suppose it was updated later), they mentioned they confused errasexual w caedsexual. So in case you didn't know before or anything, just an fyi. Also congrats on finding your label
I'm still learning. One of my adult kids is confirmed on the ace spectrum (and it wouldn't surprise me if they all were) and I'm glad to have found such a valuable resource here. Thank you for doing what you're doing. ❤️🙏🏳️🌈
1:31 I feel sexual attraction towards fictional crushes but it usually takes months for that to happen and usually my fictional crushes get pretty strong. I identify myself as demi because I'm otherwise repulsed at the idea of sexual intimacy with anyone currently, and the only time I haven't been is when I've loved someone. I'm also grayromantic so I rarely get crushes in general, which is why I end up with long lasting fictional crushes, I think it has to deal with me also being a hopeless romantic/loving romance but just barely ever feeling it towards real people, whereas characters in animes/cartoons/etc. are idealized and I also don't have to worry about rejection or other stuff like that. Anyways I wanted to bring this up because I know I dont speak for every single aspec person but I feel that demisexuality fits me best
Thank you for making this video. It finally helped me to identify my sexuality. I knew I was Demisexual, but there was more to it than that. I'm also Fraysexual. I'll have that initial attraction immediately, it'll fade over time, and then sometimes it'll return from me being demisexual by forming a connection or it won't return if the connection isn't in a way that I find attractive. And sometimes the overlap with erase the gap in attraction making it constant. Other times I'll develop attraction for someone who I wasn't attracted to initially, based on aesthetics but become attracted to them based on our connection.
I like how you acknowledge that sexuality can be influenced by life events. I got into an interesting conversation with my allo friends on whether sexual behavior is natural or learned. 😅 I'm ace so I see the world from a different perspective than them. When I said I thought sexuality was learned they looked at me like "What the hell are you thinking??!!" 🤣
I'm really glad I was able to find this video ✨ I've been struggling with my (lack of) sexual attraction for a few years and found Grey-ace a year ago and found it relatable but not completely specific to my experience, but with your video, I think I might also fall under Ace-Spike or Cadeace! I'm going to look more into those, but wanted to thank you first
i love this part of the comunity, people who are understanding and dont push labels on people, just people exploring and openly identifying/expressing their romantic and or sexual tendencies in their life :)
Hey, wonderful video. Educational and very pleasant to watch. And it's always nice finding fellow aces :)) If I may leave a suggestion, you could've shown the names written as well as speaking it. While it's fairly simple to find these words eventually, I think it could be helpful to someone unfamiliar with them to do further research, especially with the harder to pronounce ones
Thank you! That’s a great suggestion, and we’ll definitely keep that in mind for future videos. The feedback is appreciated, and it is always great to be able to streamline some research rabbit holes! (You know, being rather familiar with them ourselves…).
Wowww it's really important that i stumbled across this because I was very limited to ace labels and just kept saying i was pan but didn't know how explain my lack of attraction, aro or aroace, basically all the basic ones everyone knows, its been a struggle figuring myself out and this helped a tonnn i still find myself confused but resonating the most with Erassexual or Fraysexual it's nice to know that these things exist, so you don't feel like you're the only one who knows the feeling of this confusion.
As someone who thought there was only one way to be ace + that you had to always have been exactly the same, this video has been really enlightening. It's taught me a lot about myself and the community around me, which is great :) Thanks for the info! I'm nearly 100% certain I'm a flux ace now!!! (I'm going to be checking out your channel - hopefully now that I've figured out my sexuality I can take a crack at figuring out my romantic attraction heheh... I love feeling less lost and confused, thnx so much)
I am sooooo happy someone is finally talking about this!!! I had a lot of trouble with my placement on the aro/ace spectrum because no one ever talks about it. thank you so much
Maybe a week or so ago my boyfriend and I discussed some wants for our relationship, and he expressed that he feels we've been getting slightly distant intimate wise and I realized that as well. I've always been questioning my sexual orientation and where I lie, but that discussion has really motivated me to put more effort into my research. It wasn't until I saw fictosexual (I think that's how it's spelled?) on this video that opened the floodgates metaphorically. I'm glad I came across your channel, and I'll definitely be mentioning my thoughts to my partner down the line! ❤
I identify as asexual, have been for around 4years now!! I've known there were different ace's and this was so nice to see!! I dont ever see myself doin it w someone, but there are days where I weirdly want to relieve myself, and I personally put myself down because I do that, but I tell myself that there are people who also relieve themselves, and I'm not alone on that :') I have a sort of bf, and hes genuinely the sweetest ever, and while it is long distance, he says that he is satisfied with cuddles only, I love him
I've recently found out I'm an ace but i still couldn't agree with all the signs of being a typical ace. This video has really opened a deeper classification and I've found a few categories which I could relate to. Thank you so much for this🥰🥰
thank you for the quick snippet in the intro 😭 as a grooming victim, I've been contemplating whether or not I'm aroace but I usually brush it off due to how I have experienced romantic and sexual attraction in the past. as of rn I'm pretty comfortable saying I'm on the aroace spec but it's always nice to get a reminder that it's possible that I've essentially "developed" aro/asexuality.
I'm late to this, but I happened upon this video in my recommended and I'm so glad I did. It feels validating knowing and understanding these identities because it helps me realise that I've got an ace-spec identity. I've always felt like I was ace to an extent but worried that calling myself ace would seem deceptive since I do still feel some level of attraction but there's times I'm entirely repulsed by sex. Thank you for such an informative and encouraging video!
You know I had a fun conversation with my friends about being Ace [thats what I am] one of my friends made a joke saying if I was a card I’d be a spade but then i mentioned I’d be a heart not a spade. He asked why, I explained that some aces identify after suits of cards as a symbol of different aces. Ace of Hearts is a term for those who are Romantic, Spades for those who are Aro, I forget what diamond and Club represent but it lead to a fun conversation about it. Something my friends were not aware of, it was fun talking about this in a warm environment. [also if I got the Cards wrong please let me know I’m not sure if Ace’s are using suits of cards anymore]
Thank you so much for this. There are actually a few identities in there I might be that I never would have looked up. I've been all over the place with my identity and this is such a helpful tool.
I am so grateful u made this video! It has helped me find out where I might be on the spectrum and it is so cool that u do this and I am so happy and can’t thank enough for making this video
I rarely comment on videos, but I wanted to thank you for this helpful video, it’s been more than a year that I started to feel that my identity was "wrong", but thanks to your video I was able to find out that I am in fact asexual and bisexual which I thought before was impossible, so thank you so much for this and helping me get rid of the weird feeling I had❤️
I used to feel sexual attraction towards fictional characters only, now that has faded away too and now I feel like even my romantic attraction is fading away a bit as well because I don't really crave a romantic relationship anymore ^-^; and I've never had an irl crush before so I am definitely on the ace spectrum, I'm just still not really sure what suits me best
I don't identify as ace but wowww! There are so many different ways people feel attraction and this video gives me so many ideas for questions I'd like to ask whoever comes to be the next person I'd like to consider a relationship with.
That's so cool to hear! I think our multi-faceted understanding of attraction in the ace community is really unique, and I think everyone -- regardless of sexuality -- can apply this to themselves. Thank you for commenting!
This is actually incredible helpful, especially for me because it's like I've always felt like I might be ace but didn't exactly for it at the same time
Thank you for this video! I just found it and I like that it's brief and yet informative. I believe I'm in the ace spectrum but I can't tell how do I experience it, most of of the time I don't pay attention to how I feel because I don't really feel something. I don't know how to name it properly, but sure it's Asexual spectrum and I'm glad to find videos talking about it.
I feel a spike of happiness at these being in a video like this, on my journey so far I have researched and felt around with almost all of these labels (like seriously 9 of 14), before settling on the ones I currently use. Aceflux for anyone wondering (which explains how I could have felt like so many different labels fit me, because they did at that moment in time)
Here in Argentina there´s not much information being usually given of certain identities of the LGTBQIA+ such as the ones in the ace spectrum. When I watched this video I had been questioning my sexual and romantic orientation for a while, and it helped me consider the posibility of being part of the ace spectrum, and I´ve recently discovered, thanks to remembering this and investigating a bit more, that I´m aromantic aegosexual, so, ¡Muchas gracias for helping me discover a bit more about myself!
I love this! I have trouble trying to identify my sexuality, and I feel this very helpful defining my sexual identity. I think I feel comfortable identifying as demi/auto/recipro/cupio/caed/aceflux/quoi. Thank you for all the clarification!
Thanks for talking about this! ^^ I always enjoy finding about more interesting LGBTQ things since I was introduced! There are so many sexualities and identities out there and so many definitions! One of my best friends is asexual
Thank you for this video! I’m struggling a lot with my identity and by now I’m thinking that I might be ace for a long time, but society seems to have a very certain idea of asexuality and I only partly fit into that. Your video makes me feel valid in my identity, thank you so much!!!
Wow, there were still a lot I didn't know! Thank you for sharing this! Question: I've been considering the possibility of being on the ace spectrum myself, but I'm not really sure. I do feel like I want to be intimate with somebody, and I fantasize a lot. But, and I'm not 100% sure on this yet 'cause I haven't had much experience with the gender/sex I'm attracted to, but I feel like just being affectionate is more of a priority for me, and I don't feel comfortable with being sexually attractive or sexualized in any way. And I just don't get into the sexy vibe in general. Dunno if that's just my personality, or if I'm missing some type of asexual identity?
I’m glad you found the video helpful! Have you looked into “sensual attraction,” or really any other (not sexual or romantic) attraction? Because you can have a lot of feelings towards others without them being active sexual desire, meaning you, for example, can desire intimacy, closeness, companionship, and connection and still be entirely (or partially) asexual. Taking time for looking inward and trying to identify how you feel and connect with others may be helpful. I hope this is helpful to you! 💜
@@SpaceyAces That could very well be possible! I'll look into it! And I'm sure that I'll learn more about this part of myself as I gain more life experience. 😊 Thank you so much for responding!
Thanks for mentioning that sexuality can be influenced by other things. I'm acevague which means my ace identity is influenced by me being autistic and I do sometimes worry that people won't take my sexuality seriously because of the idea that your sexuality can't be influenced by other things. :]
Oh I am super interested in this! Do you have any resources? I'm autistic (and have ADHD too) and I have always had lots of trouble with understanding my (a)sexuality and gender as well actually. Asexuality wise, I move somewhere between cupiosexual and fraysexual, but tbh I don't know how much these labels mean to me and I definitely do not know how to explain this to people I go out with.
I didn't realize how many there would be and that a term I was unfamiliar with, aceflux, would better describe my experience than greysexual. Thank you for this video!
I never thought i could be asexual because i still have physical sexual reactions even though those feelings had nothing to do with any attraction. This makes so much sense now, and i finally feel like i understand myself better. Thanks for this.
I've known for a while that I'm ace, but never heard of the term caedsexual and it fits exactly to my situation regarding sexuality :') ty for this video, trully
Love the video! Though a bit disappointed you didn't mention Orchidsexual- The feeling of sexual attraction, but repulsion towards actually having sex. It took me so long to find that label that really resonated with me, but it's barely ever mentioned.
@@ancient.venus_ Nope! Any form of repulsion towards sex is also on the ace spectrum, as it's very different from being Allosexual. The ace spectrum includes many identities that come with feeling some type of sexual attraction, like Demisexual, or Acespike, and also includes sex repulsed identities such as Apothisexual. You can think of Orchidsexual as maybe a combination of the two. Or you could think of it as the opposite of Cupiosexual, which is the absence of sexual attraction but wanting to have a sexual relationship. Hope that helps!
I appreciate your educational video. Someone made me aware I may be on the ace spectrum a long time ago, but I kind of shrugged it off as I had other part of my sexual identity to discover and I just wasn’t sure if I was ready to accept that label or not yet-I was still figuring things out. This was very helpful, at least if I decided none of these labels fit me I understand more about asexual people now. But you know what? Some of these labels might fit me-and I’m glad someone let me know and that this video was here to help. Thank you! Happy Pride everyone! 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️💕
After watching this video, I’m beginning to think I’m aceflux or quoisexual! Thank you for making this video, this really helped me learn more about the ace spectrum :)
wait. so i can change my sexuality throughout my life based on my experiences. wau. my eyes are open. all this time i thought i have no idea of what my sexuality is, because at first i was bisexual (but now i think i am more biromantic/panromantic), but these past few years i feel no sexual attraction to anybody. this maked so much more sense now! thank you for making this video
When I saw the fictosexual flag on the thumbnail I was so so SO happy, since two of my friends identify as ficosexual and I'm fictoromantic, and I never ever see ficto representation ANYWHERE, so thank you so much
I love these short explanations that you gave. I’m a heavy romantic gay man, but not necessarily allo. I’ve been really trying to find out what type of ace I might be, because I never felt like I was allo after lots of encounters. In the end, the aceflux definitely resonated with me since a lot of these ace specs seemed to describe me at certain points in my life, repeatedly. Luckily, I have a partner that is so patient and adaptable in any given situation. So, thank you! You helped me understand a lot more about myself!
Such videos where the explanations are short and sweet are really helpful to me. I've been wondering for a while if I might be somewhere on the ace spectrum, so after watching this video I started looking up the identities that seem to resonate with me
I’m 20 and have never identified as asexual but have always been attracted to the label since i was 14/15 and this video has cleared up a lot because I’m definitely asexual but I’m also so much more confused because I identify with multiple of these micro labels (that I’ve mostly never heard of) both simultaneously and at different times, definitely a lot to take in 😮💨
2 years late but yippee thanks for the video!! im asexual aegoromantic myself :> it's so cool being able to have ppl talking about the different labels and such bc i feel like aroace spec people are just. not really understood too well i suppose?
I've honestly been confused with my asexual identity for a while. I was cupiosexual then Demi-sexual then aegeosexual. It's a weird feeling that I want a sexual relationship. But not as a female, not anything to do with a female. 🤷🏻♀️
I know I'm very late to this video but I just wanted to say thank you for making it! I have never felt any sexual attraction upon just meeting someone and was always very confused when others did. For me I would have to know that person for years and over time become very close before feelings like that start to arise. Obviously I'm not set in stone on possibly being Demisexual but I have been thinking more and more about this topic and this helped a ton! I also didn't know all of the different categories of being Ace and it was really nice to learn about them. Anyway's thanks for making this video that I'm sure a lot of others found helpful. And if you read all of this I hope you have a wonderful day
another identity on the ace spectrum is abrosexual, which is sexuality that changes over time. the reason it's on the ace spectrum is the fact that asexuality (and any more specific terms as well) can be experienced within this sexuality along with allosexual identities
2:37 I really like reciprosexual bc I feel like I can relate to it very often. I’m not the type to confess bc of stuff but I do appreciate when others tell me their feelings of romantic attraction for me and I feel similar sentiments ^^ (idk if this makes any sense-) Edit: sending love from a demiromantic gray sexual reciprosexual lesbian
Thank you so so much for making this video!! Now I know why I don’t form much of a connection with someone unless our relationship consists of any kind of flirting - I’m RECIPROSEXUAL! ^w^ (Please note that I am NOT generalizing reciprosexuals or people who flirt playfully )
Im gray demisexual. It was such a relief to learn about the asexual community and that it’s on a spectrum. I always thought there was something terribly wrong with me. I just didn’t understand the sex obsession with my peers.
Thank you for this video! Sadly, there is nothing that really fits my experience, but to anyone who may think: "Wow, this fits me!" it is great that they learn something about themselves
I really appreciate this! I've cycled through sexual identity terms trying to find what fits. I've finally landed on describing my sexuality as "some sort of grey/fray/litho situation," i.e. a brief minute of attraction, don't bother reciprocating because it's already gone 😅 I also have a hard time differentiating sexual attraction from other kinds of attraction, such as romantic or aesthetic. They kind of all blend together in my brain.
Tbh I’m mainly demisexual but I think I’m aceflux too lol, sometimes I relate to the other sexualities in the spectrum. Definitely fictosexual too lol, tysm for including that!!
this video just made me realize i’m lithosexual 💀 it felt lonely af but not that i know where these symptoms are coming from i can manage it better lol
I love to learn about the communities within the asexual community, but I think you miss aegosexual
Good point; maybe I'll end up making a part two to this video, and I'll be sure to include aegosexuality. Thanks for watching!
So I have been deeply confused about my sexuality for a very long time and this comment kind of changed everything for me. I've identified as being on the asexual spectrum for a while now, but have not been able to find a more specific label that resonated with me. Until reading this comment I had never heard of the term aegosexual, so I looked it up and things just...... fell into place. I've spent so many years feeling weird and wrong and broken because of my unconventional feelings regarding sex, and realising that that there is a word to describe those feelings and that there are other people who share them has been immensely freeing and validating for me. Sorry if this is weird, I just wanted to thank you because this was an amazing moment of self-realisation for me, one that might never have happened if not for this comment.
@@inky_plinky Omg same here!! This comment helped me so much!
@@inky_plinky ayo ayo other aegosexuals
@@darienodette ayyyy
I'm asexual and omniromantic, and I've never felt so good in any labels as I feel in these - normally I tell people that I am just bi, because people dont get that my sexual attraction and my romantic attraction are separated and, in my case, completely oposite.
i’m so happy you found labels that work for you!! -Lau
@@countalucard3405 thats not very nice. please delete that comment.
Aye, same!! I also have a very similar experience with just saying bi since most people don't know omnisexuality/omniromantic. I also find with my asexuality that the label "aegosexual" fits my experience best, but I just call myself asexual when people ask since its the umbrella term
Those completely describe me, but I feel embarrassed to tell anyone because, well I don’t really know.
I'm so glad you commented this. I am confused as all hell, cause asexuality always seems to imply aromanticism as well - and that's REALLY not me. I just don't know what to call it, I just say I'm bi. frankly I don't think it's anyone else's business whether or not my partner and I fuck?! what we do with each other is our business!
Seems like I'm a few of these. 'Asexual' is just easier and gives me lots of wiggle room. Remember that labels should serve you, not the other way around. It's okay to have several, none, or change around.
That’s literally how i feel bro
Same here, so I just identify as gray-ace.
@@denisemayosky1955 Would you be interested in being a guest on my channel, over zoom?
@@denisemayosky1955 same same
Same. This is why I kind of like the microlabel aceflux.
5:26 - 5:40 :
"This is an important ones because I think a lot of people are under the impression that if you're asexual you're always asexual or that your sexuality can't be influenced by the events that happened in your life, which is not true."
I once came across the story of an woman that once was polyamorous and attracted to guys and other genders, but unfortunately because of a trashy ex-boyfriend she had, now she only desires monogamous relationships with women or enbies.
We also have to be
Careful with this point...
Because remember a lot of people think people are certain sexualities JUST because of trauma-- they are "damaged", Because they "spent too much time around women" or whatever else and use that as a reasoning for why these sexualities shouldn't exist
@@htsunmiku
We should not deny the power that traumas have over our lives, but we also should not generalize, since the majority of people experience love the way they do simply because that is the way they do.
I am prerty sure that I am trans, ace, gray-bi, and fluidamorous NOT because past traumas.
Quite the opposite, I actually do have traumas FOR being who I am in an hostile world, but I am who I am NOT because I have traumas.
I consider myself demisexual but I do have a high sex drive the only problem is that I don't like having random sex obviously and it's hard to make connections with people when I'm an introvert. I feel kinda lucky that I managed to meet someone I could form a connection with but it's not romantic and we agreed to become friends with benefits. We both don't really want a relationship but we have good chemistry.
@@htsunmiku lmao if people assume that aces are "caused by tràümã" just because some people have experiences like that, then they clearly need to meet me, who became the opposite of a stereotypical "repulsed ace" because I felt extremely peer pressured by students and people I meet to date/høök ūp with someone, as well as other stuff caused from bad sēxûål experiences lmao, I was openly ace before all these stuff happened too :'D
In all seriousness, you definitely have a point, identities, if they are something completely out of your control and you're not denying anything, is completely valid, especially since identities are more fluid than we think.
@@thunderheadcinema6743
Yes, but wanting to have adult fun time every once in 30 years is not normal, but nothing is wrong with that.
I've been wondering for a while now, whether I'm some flavor of asexual. The confusing thing is, that I'm drawn to the idea of being sexually intimate with someone, but when I'm actually in the situation I most often have this feeling of "this is awkward, and kinda boring. And can you not kiss me on the mouth? hmm I kinda want to be alone watching RUclips"
but then again after a while of being on my own, without a sexual partner I feel like I'm missing it.
It can be really distressing at some point, because I don't wanna hurt the other person by telling them to go.
Hmmm do you experience sexual attraction? Or are you just interested in the idea of sex? The two are different. To me it sounds like the latter and that says to me that you are asexual who just experiences bouts of lust. Hormones can be a bitch. But you know yourself better than me. If you feel comfortable with the label asexual then use it. If you change your mind later thats fine too. Hope ive helped in some way.
@@SaviourInDistress hey, thanks for your comment it definitely helped me a bit. hmm I don't know... I think I've definitely experienced sexual attraction to guys. But I think It might be that my standards for that are just.. u know, unreasonably high (we can probably blame social media here).
Another thing that I've thought about in this context is, that it might be connected to my ADHD. It's really hard for me to keep doing one thing at a time for a longer period of time (like I'm constantly looking through my phone while watching shows that I'm actually interested in), so maybe my urge to met people and find a boyfriend comes from the curiosity of encountering someone new. But when I know him a bit and he's not looking like the dream prince I'm (unreasonably so) looking for, I loose interest. I don't know it's confusing and fluctuates way to much so I might just identify as some rare flavor of ace.
I might be wrong, but that sounds a bit like rosesexual. It means that you like the idea of sex and sexual attraction, but lose those feelings when you imagine yourself in that situation, or just lose those feelings after a short period of time. There is also roseromantic, which means the same thing but for romantic attraction. I, myself am rosesexual. You might not relate to this label at all, but I hope I helped in some way ^ ^
@@sayori6578 I'll definitely go look that up, thanks ✨
@@jonasholzer4422 No problem! Happy to help :D
For a long time I believed myself to be demisexual, but recently I’ve felt it’s more complicated than that.. this video opened up more options than online searching has done for me! Thank you so much for making this and helping me hopefully pinpoint my attraction on the spectrum
Thank you so much for mentioning fictosexuality! I’m aware of how “cringey” fictosexuality can sound to most. As for me, I simply prefer the novelty of certain fictional concepts and characters over real people! I’ve never felt for real people what I do for fictional characters.
YES!!!!! Fictos are VALID. I'm so happy it was mentioned in the video.
@@reria2655 I'm crying right now!! Yasss we are valid!! I found my people you and OP!!
I'm so happy to know I'm not alone! Because all my life I've felt romantic and sexual attraction but never for someone irl and I was so confused and just though, but now know this I feel so much better.
We should make a discord or something to gather there and be free to be ourselves. I'm happy to meet you all!
@@reria2655 hell yeah that would be so dope!!
Yeah, sexuality can be effected by your life experiences. Your experiences don't create your sexuality, but they can and often do have effects on how you interact with your sexuality. For example if a person is bisexual but had a really bad relationship with a guy in college, then they may seek future relationships with exclusively women. This doesn't change their sexuality, they are still Bisexual. But past experiences have influenced how they want to interact with their sexuality.
Yeah. I'm trans and can't stand my body, so uh, I'll probably never have sex. It just isn't something I'd be comfortable with.
Literally!
Like, I'm hetero. Even if my sexuality is strong to men, its hard for me to find them attractive. It doesn't mean that I don't want any relationship with them but my past experiences affects my relationships with them on romantic state.
When they show me some interest in me, i can't do anything cause i automatically cuts off any relationship. Even if I fight with myself, it's hard for me to live having on mind thoughts that someone likes me that way. I'm automatically scared, my body shake almost for whole day. I can't sleep and even can't get up from bed.
I'm trying to recover and working on myself cause i know that something is wrong with me.
Oh that makes way more sense! When they said that part about life experiences changing your sexuality, I was thinking that’s kind of a problematic statement because it implies that gay people are somehow “made” that way and aren’t just born that way. But the way you phrased it helped clarify. Your sexual orientation can’t change, but the way you experience and express it absolutely can!
Absolutely 💯!! It’s nature AND nurture that both play a role in how our sexuality presents itself. Thank you!!
Honestly lately I have been wanting to look into and learn more about asexual and aromantic identities, and this is helping. I have been very confused lately due to the fact that while I do experience sexual attractions/feelings, the idea of actually having sex with someone/the act itself seems really unappealing to me, almost like I see it as gross or something, unless I am already having strong romantic feelings for them and are in a relationship. Most the time if I get 'crushes' it only lasts like a week and it feels like I am forcing myself to have those feelings/trying to hang onto them, and I may be hyperfixating on that particular person more then genuinely wanting to date them. It's all been confusing, but I am hoping to learn more in general to both understand myself and others better.
SAME! In some instances i have sexual thoughts but doing anything about them or thinking beyond that makes me extremely queasy and nauseous. (Thats the best way i can describe it)
Also i have heard that the way crushes work is that you develop a crush and usually that crush will go away by the 3 month mark and if it goes on longer then you feel actual love for them. But you may also be aromanic, and im sure like that it is also a spectrum and you might find something that’s comfortable there.
Me too! I think that's called sex-repulsed demisexual.
I have the sexual thoughts and attraction sometimes but the idea of doing something makes me so uncomfortable like ugh *shudders* Amd yeah I hyperfixate on people usually for a couple months then it goes away.
the crush part is so relatable to me oh my god. there's this guy i was completely obsessed with and got really nervous over. we barely talked but all i could think about was him and i thought i wanted to date him. i'd get so anxious that i'd skip class. this only lasted a couple weeks and it just like, went away?? i kept telling myself i liked this guy and hung onto those feelings. it was weird haha. good luck on ur self-discovery journey!
never have i found a comment i relate to so much
@@shlawgb0b is there a possibility that u found a label or anything for that? because i feel like that too but i dont really know what label that could be or a name for it🧍
I am asexual and this was wonderful! It is so nice to see more stuff like this. It seems that people think you need to try more things or you just don’t really know and will “figure” it out eventually. But we know who we are 🥰
Please replay to find my place of spectrum
Ok so I love how you shined light on members of the ace spectrum, so I’m gonna do the same.
I’d like to introduce all of you to orchidsexuality. Basically, being orchidsexual means you have and feel sexual attraction however you do not feel an urge to act upon this attraction.
My search: 5 Signs you're Goth.
RUclips: were you searching for Asexuality?
Me: WELL I AM NOW!!!
Joking aside, when I first heard the meaning of Asexuality my first thought was that it was comfy.
Like a warm blanket on a cold night comfy ^_^
Your videos and some research (Reddit is surprisingly helpful)
I've started taking notes and writing things out just in case
It's really just my avoident personality disorder and my self isolation ^^;
I'M SO HAPPY YOU TALKED ABOUT FICTOSEXUALITY💜💜💜 I often feel the burden of not belonging to a common sexuality and I'm so glad someone else is here to educate us! Fictosexuality is REAL, and it is VALID! If anyone has any questions about fictosexuality, just ask me!
I have questions about it, honest curiosity. Would you be interest in being a guest on my podcast, over zoom? Or maybe I could just email you questions or as them here.
Do you want to marry a fictional character?
come you still feel love for real people ?
i recently had a negative sexual experience that really turned my whole perspective and understanding of my sexuality into chaos. this video really has started to help me sort through that. thank you
I’m happy to hear we could be helpful. Good luck in recalibrating your perspective. 💜
🙏🏻❤🙏🏻
My sexual attraction has always changed and shifted quite rapidly making relationships in general very difficult with a combination of Grayomanticism and being Aroflux,this video really helped me understand myself more so thank you
Took me no less than a decade to learn I’m asexual. It’s interesting to get to know about how different people’s experience with sexual attraction is
Ever since I researched it for myself a year or so ago, every so often I get ace-related stuff recommended to me by RUclips. I'm glad I watched this - I feel like I learned some things! I only knew about a couple of these. I've just been calling myself ace, but I _think_ quoisexual might be right for me... will have to -overthink- consider that one :)
After watching this video I’m convinced that if more people learned about the LGBTQIA+ community and the different sexualities a lot more people would find themselves reflected in the terms and identity as members and then we wouldn’t be a minority. Also thank you for including cupiosexual, because I identify as cupiosexual
exactly, most people probably are lgbt but don't consider them as it because they've never been in the community or think being aroace isn't real or whatever.
This is why I love microlabels, even though I don't personally identify with any. Microlabels can address nuances that may not even come to mind with just using the umbrella labels. The human experience is infinitely weird and nuanced, so our labels need to reflect that.
@The Perks of being a Bookworm
Could you tell me something more about your experience? Is it as tragic, as I think it is - not being able to experience feelings you dream of? I might be a cupiosexual, as I want to have a sexual relationship, but I am 18 now and I have never had a crush (even a childhood crush on a cartoon character, which is normal among my friends).
@@aleksandram. just wanted to let you know, asexual is not the same as aromantic. Not having sexual attraction is asexual, as the video states, but not having romantic attraction (like crushes) is aromantic. You can be both aromantic and asexual, or you could be just aromantic, or just asexual. Sorry if you already knew this, and I mean no disrespect at all, I hope it doesn’t come off as rude
Technically if I wanted to label myself something, I'd be fraysexual. However it just seems to needlessly complicate things for no reason- I understand my own sexuality without needing to put a label on it, and even so lumping myself into asexual doesn't feel right. I don't want to intrude on LGBTQ+ spaces, because although sometimes it can be a pain I've never experienced the bigotry that others face. However if that helps others, then great.
I love how you talked about fictosexual and caedsexual. I've seen those labels get hated on even within the ace community which is sad to see. I haven't really used the fictosexual label despite it describing my experience because of the hate it gets.
And I can't stand the arguments about asexuality in relation to trauma... Some people get mad at the caedsexual label because they believe it perpetuates the belief that all aces are ace because of trauma, but I just don't understand that argument. One sub-label doesn't apply to everyone under the umbrella. And I don't think trauma survivors should be forced to sort through their feelings in order to figure out if they are "ace enough" yknow? It shouldn't matter WHY a person identifies with a label or what caused them to experience attraction (or lack thereof) the way that they do, what matters is how that person feels and if they feel a label describes them then they should be able to use it without people gatekeeping
This definitely helped me figure out exactly where I fall on this spectrum or at least figure out the types that fit me best.
I’m so happy to hear that!
Your voice sounds so kind and welcoming and calming, like I just know somebody watching this is about to get a bit scared figuring out who they are but once they hear your voice they'll feel safe 🥺
This is so sweet! I hope everyone feels safe.
thank you for being open to fictosexuality as an identity. As I am under that umbrella and I'm often mocked of not taken seriously. so I appreciate your acceptance.❤😄
Aww! I'm asexual too, specifically aegosexual, and I love fictional characters! ^_^ It might seem like a weird or creepy thing to be attracted to the idea of s*x in an abstract way, but it's just the way that I am, especially since I got into reading slash fan-fiction as a teenager, and I wasn't ever s*xually attracted to anyone in real life! I love enjoying and bonding with fictional characters through s*xual experiences, with H*ntai manga and anime, and Boys Love/Y*oi manga and anime! :D I'm proud to love what I love, and be what I am! :D
@@canberkpesman1604 this is a REAL identity that REAL beings use!
@@megalisa830bright6 I'm like that too since I was a kid, I always had crush on anime boys then characters in movies and books but I never thought it was a thing until now.. I'm really glad to hear that it's a common thing
@@whateverbabe Aww! I'm glad that you found out more about yourself! ^_^ I'm glad that more people are accepting of asexuality and its other labels! And yeah, I will always love cute anime male fictional characters! :D
This is a thing.... I thought it was just me, and I was weird, OMG I need to tell my friend that my dumb brain has a name.... omg I just googled it, I'm more on the fictoromantic, but both terms explain so many things....
I'm almost a year late to this but THANK YOU!! I've been looking into ace identities (both sexual and romantic) for a while because they seem to represent my experiences the best, but it's hard to figure things out 😅 This helped a lot to clarify some things. I'm still not sure which label to use but some of these are a lot closer to what I've felt than others I've heard of, so thanks for making this.
I'm so happy to hear that this was helpful! Good luck in your journey!
I love that there are educational sources for this kind of thing on the internet! I’m aceflux and a lot of us (as well as pretty much the rest of the asexual community) go completely unnoticed!
I am so glad I clicked on this video because I’ve been trying to explain to people how I felt sexually and I was never really able to do it and I always ended up confusing them. I *knew* what I felt I just couldn’t describe it in a way that made sense to other people. Now that I’ve seen cupiosexual, I feel like it really fits how I feel. Thank you!
Oh wow! Your editing is really good!
It was fun to learn about how many people identify within the specifics of the community!
Nice job ^^
Thank you so much!!
Yo literally thank you so much for this video. It’s took me over a year to finally discover what I probably am thanks to this video. I now see that I am reciporomantic as well as being quosexual! I have always noticed that I begin to show attraction to someone after I know they like me back. Thank you so much for this video I’ll definitely come back to this channel for every new upload 🖤🤍💜
Thank you! I’m so glad it was helpful for you. 💜
Thanks so much for this video, honestly I've been so confused of my identity and I didn't know what category I fallen in. On one hand, I felt sexual attraction to both men and women so I thought I was just bi, but then I started to realize how I felt with other people when I had sexual attraction to them and didn't had any interest in becoming a relationship with them or them liking me back. I was so confused and just thought it was a phase. 5 years passed and still happened until I saw this video. I finally understand where I fall into and accept myself for my identity. Thank you so much again!
This is a very interesting video, thank you! I am allosexual, but I like to learn about other people's identities to understand them better. I didn't know there were so many different ace-spec identities! :)
Wow why had I never looked this up before. Spent the last 12 years of my life thinking I was weird or something was wrong with me because I didn't know what I was. Thank you
I now know the exact name of my asexuality! Caedsexual. I was always told that my sexuality couldn't be caused by life events. Thank you for bringing this to light for me, and thank you for representing! You're amazing friend.
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I'm Transmasc Non-Binary and my pronouns are He/They
(Automatically sharing because it's just how I be, luv!)
Hey hey in case you didn't read the description (I suppose it was updated later), they mentioned they confused errasexual w caedsexual. So in case you didn't know before or anything, just an fyi. Also congrats on finding your label
Your valid.
Im.sorry people invalidated you because it was based on life experience.
That doesnt change that its your truth and its 100% valid.❤
I’ve been super confused for months. I knew I was on the ace spec but still wasn’t sure where I fit in and this helped a lot thanks!
I'm still learning. One of my adult kids is confirmed on the ace spectrum (and it wouldn't surprise me if they all were) and I'm glad to have found such a valuable resource here. Thank you for doing what you're doing. ❤️🙏🏳️🌈
1:31 I feel sexual attraction towards fictional crushes but it usually takes months for that to happen and usually my fictional crushes get pretty strong. I identify myself as demi because I'm otherwise repulsed at the idea of sexual intimacy with anyone currently, and the only time I haven't been is when I've loved someone. I'm also grayromantic so I rarely get crushes in general, which is why I end up with long lasting fictional crushes, I think it has to deal with me also being a hopeless romantic/loving romance but just barely ever feeling it towards real people, whereas characters in animes/cartoons/etc. are idealized and I also don't have to worry about rejection or other stuff like that.
Anyways I wanted to bring this up because I know I dont speak for every single aspec person but I feel that demisexuality fits me best
Thank you for making this video. It finally helped me to identify my sexuality. I knew I was Demisexual, but there was more to it than that. I'm also Fraysexual. I'll have that initial attraction immediately, it'll fade over time, and then sometimes it'll return from me being demisexual by forming a connection or it won't return if the connection isn't in a way that I find attractive. And sometimes the overlap with erase the gap in attraction making it constant. Other times I'll develop attraction for someone who I wasn't attracted to initially, based on aesthetics but become attracted to them based on our connection.
I like how you acknowledge that sexuality can be influenced by life events. I got into an interesting conversation with my allo friends on whether sexual behavior is natural or learned. 😅
I'm ace so I see the world from a different perspective than them. When I said I thought sexuality was learned they looked at me like "What the hell are you thinking??!!" 🤣
I'm really glad I was able to find this video ✨ I've been struggling with my (lack of) sexual attraction for a few years and found Grey-ace a year ago and found it relatable but not completely specific to my experience, but with your video, I think I might also fall under Ace-Spike or Cadeace! I'm going to look more into those, but wanted to thank you first
i love this part of the comunity, people who are understanding and dont push labels on people, just people exploring and openly identifying/expressing their romantic and or sexual tendencies in their life :)
Hey, wonderful video. Educational and very pleasant to watch. And it's always nice finding fellow aces :))
If I may leave a suggestion, you could've shown the names written as well as speaking it. While it's fairly simple to find these words eventually, I think it could be helpful to someone unfamiliar with them to do further research, especially with the harder to pronounce ones
Thank you! That’s a great suggestion, and we’ll definitely keep that in mind for future videos. The feedback is appreciated, and it is always great to be able to streamline some research rabbit holes! (You know, being rather familiar with them ourselves…).
Wow, I'm absolutely loving the colors of the Aceflux flag
There's definitely a couple of these that sound relatable to me
great video!! I love learning about how diverse the ace spectrum is. it's not necessarily an all-or-nothing deal cause sexuality is so complex
Wowww it's really important that i stumbled across this because I was very limited to ace labels and just kept saying i was pan but didn't know how explain my lack of attraction, aro or aroace, basically all the basic ones everyone knows, its been a struggle figuring myself out and this helped a tonnn i still find myself confused but resonating the most with Erassexual or Fraysexual it's nice to know that these things exist, so you don't feel like you're the only one who knows the feeling of this confusion.
As someone who thought there was only one way to be ace + that you had to always have been exactly the same, this video has been really enlightening. It's taught me a lot about myself and the community around me, which is great :) Thanks for the info! I'm nearly 100% certain I'm a flux ace now!!! (I'm going to be checking out your channel - hopefully now that I've figured out my sexuality I can take a crack at figuring out my romantic attraction heheh... I love feeling less lost and confused, thnx so much)
I adore how confidently you speak about these things!
I am sooooo happy someone is finally talking about this!!! I had a lot of trouble with my placement on the aro/ace spectrum because no one ever talks about it. thank you so much
Maybe a week or so ago my boyfriend and I discussed some wants for our relationship, and he expressed that he feels we've been getting slightly distant intimate wise and I realized that as well. I've always been questioning my sexual orientation and where I lie, but that discussion has really motivated me to put more effort into my research. It wasn't until I saw fictosexual (I think that's how it's spelled?) on this video that opened the floodgates metaphorically. I'm glad I came across your channel, and I'll definitely be mentioning my thoughts to my partner down the line! ❤
I identify as asexual, have been for around 4years now!! I've known there were different ace's and this was so nice to see!! I dont ever see myself doin it w someone, but there are days where I weirdly want to relieve myself, and I personally put myself down because I do that, but I tell myself that there are people who also relieve themselves, and I'm not alone on that :') I have a sort of bf, and hes genuinely the sweetest ever, and while it is long distance, he says that he is satisfied with cuddles only, I love him
I've recently found out I'm an ace but i still couldn't agree with all the signs of being a typical ace. This video has really opened a deeper classification and I've found a few categories which I could relate to. Thank you so much for this🥰🥰
Welcome to the ace community! I'm glad the video could help you out.
thank you for the quick snippet in the intro 😭 as a grooming victim, I've been contemplating whether or not I'm aroace but I usually brush it off due to how I have experienced romantic and sexual attraction in the past. as of rn I'm pretty comfortable saying I'm on the aroace spec but it's always nice to get a reminder that it's possible that I've essentially "developed" aro/asexuality.
wow even I learned some new identities this was great!
I'm late to this, but I happened upon this video in my recommended and I'm so glad I did. It feels validating knowing and understanding these identities because it helps me realise that I've got an ace-spec identity. I've always felt like I was ace to an extent but worried that calling myself ace would seem deceptive since I do still feel some level of attraction but there's times I'm entirely repulsed by sex. Thank you for such an informative and encouraging video!
You know I had a fun conversation with my friends about being Ace [thats what I am] one of my friends made a joke saying if I was a card I’d be a spade but then i mentioned I’d be a heart not a spade. He asked why, I explained that some aces identify after suits of cards as a symbol of different aces. Ace of Hearts is a term for those who are Romantic, Spades for those who are Aro, I forget what diamond and Club represent but it lead to a fun conversation about it. Something my friends were not aware of, it was fun talking about this in a warm environment. [also if I got the Cards wrong please let me know I’m not sure if Ace’s are using suits of cards anymore]
Thank you so much for this. There are actually a few identities in there I might be that I never would have looked up. I've been all over the place with my identity and this is such a helpful tool.
I am so grateful u made this video! It has helped me find out where I might be on the spectrum and it is so cool that u do this and I am so happy and can’t thank enough for making this video
I rarely comment on videos, but I wanted to thank you for this helpful video, it’s been more than a year that I started to feel that my identity was "wrong", but thanks to your video I was able to find out that I am in fact asexual and bisexual which I thought before was impossible, so thank you so much for this and helping me get rid of the weird feeling I had❤️
I used to feel sexual attraction towards fictional characters only, now that has faded away too and now I feel like even my romantic attraction is fading away a bit as well because I don't really crave a romantic relationship anymore ^-^; and I've never had an irl crush before so I am definitely on the ace spectrum, I'm just still not really sure what suits me best
Thank you so much for making this video! This is the first time I heard something that fully describes me
I don't identify as ace but wowww! There are so many different ways people feel attraction and this video gives me so many ideas for questions I'd like to ask whoever comes to be the next person I'd like to consider a relationship with.
That's so cool to hear! I think our multi-faceted understanding of attraction in the ace community is really unique, and I think everyone -- regardless of sexuality -- can apply this to themselves. Thank you for commenting!
This is actually incredible helpful, especially for me because it's like I've always felt like I might be ace but didn't exactly for it at the same time
Thank you for this video! I just found it and I like that it's brief and yet informative. I believe I'm in the ace spectrum but I can't tell how do I experience it, most of of the time I don't pay attention to how I feel because I don't really feel something. I don't know how to name it properly, but sure it's Asexual spectrum and I'm glad to find videos talking about it.
I feel a spike of happiness at these being in a video like this, on my journey so far I have researched and felt around with almost all of these labels (like seriously 9 of 14), before settling on the ones I currently use. Aceflux for anyone wondering (which explains how I could have felt like so many different labels fit me, because they did at that moment in time)
Here in Argentina there´s not much information being usually given of certain identities of the LGTBQIA+ such as the ones in the ace spectrum.
When I watched this video I had been questioning my sexual and romantic orientation for a while, and it helped me consider the posibility of being part of the ace spectrum, and I´ve recently discovered, thanks to remembering this and investigating a bit more, that I´m aromantic aegosexual, so, ¡Muchas gracias for helping me discover a bit more about myself!
Sorry, I made a mistake: I´m actually GREYROMANTIC aegosexual
I feel so much confidence in my aroace sexuality because sometimes I feel like I am just lying to myself but this really help me feel more confident ❤
As someone who's aceflux, thank you for talking about it! I haven't seen many videos with my sexuality talked about.
I love this! I have trouble trying to identify my sexuality, and I feel this very helpful defining my sexual identity. I think I feel comfortable identifying as demi/auto/recipro/cupio/caed/aceflux/quoi. Thank you for all the clarification!
I think I may not be asexual though possibly gray ace. Honestly just confused.
Thanks for talking about this! ^^ I always enjoy finding about more interesting LGBTQ things since I was introduced! There are so many sexualities and identities out there and so many definitions! One of my best friends is asexual
Thank you for this video! I’m struggling a lot with my identity and by now I’m thinking that I might be ace for a long time, but society seems to have a very certain idea of asexuality and I only partly fit into that. Your video makes me feel valid in my identity, thank you so much!!!
I don't think i'm in this spectrum, but hey it can't hurt to learn. Also you have a very soothing voice ^^
Wow, there were still a lot I didn't know! Thank you for sharing this!
Question: I've been considering the possibility of being on the ace spectrum myself, but I'm not really sure. I do feel like I want to be intimate with somebody, and I fantasize a lot. But, and I'm not 100% sure on this yet 'cause I haven't had much experience with the gender/sex I'm attracted to, but I feel like just being affectionate is more of a priority for me, and I don't feel comfortable with being sexually attractive or sexualized in any way. And I just don't get into the sexy vibe in general. Dunno if that's just my personality, or if I'm missing some type of asexual identity?
I’m glad you found the video helpful! Have you looked into “sensual attraction,” or really any other (not sexual or romantic) attraction? Because you can have a lot of feelings towards others without them being active sexual desire, meaning you, for example, can desire intimacy, closeness, companionship, and connection and still be entirely (or partially) asexual. Taking time for looking inward and trying to identify how you feel and connect with others may be helpful. I hope this is helpful to you! 💜
@@SpaceyAces That could very well be possible! I'll look into it! And I'm sure that I'll learn more about this part of myself as I gain more life experience. 😊
Thank you so much for responding!
Thanks for mentioning that sexuality can be influenced by other things. I'm acevague which means my ace identity is influenced by me being autistic and I do sometimes worry that people won't take my sexuality seriously because of the idea that your sexuality can't be influenced by other things. :]
Apparently the majority of autistic people are _not_ heterosexual-allosexual; most of us are elsewhere on the attraction spectrum.
Oh I am super interested in this! Do you have any resources? I'm autistic (and have ADHD too) and I have always had lots of trouble with understanding my (a)sexuality and gender as well actually.
Asexuality wise, I move somewhere between cupiosexual and fraysexual, but tbh I don't know how much these labels mean to me and I definitely do not know how to explain this to people I go out with.
I didn't realize how many there would be and that a term I was unfamiliar with, aceflux, would better describe my experience than greysexual. Thank you for this video!
I never thought i could be asexual because i still have physical sexual reactions even though those feelings had nothing to do with any attraction. This makes so much sense now, and i finally feel like i understand myself better. Thanks for this.
Go Elle!! This is awesome.
I've known for a while that I'm ace, but never heard of the term caedsexual and it fits exactly to my situation regarding sexuality :') ty for this video, trully
I didn't know about most of these, but now I do. Thank you!
Love the video! Though a bit disappointed you didn't mention Orchidsexual- The feeling of sexual attraction, but repulsion towards actually having sex.
It took me so long to find that label that really resonated with me, but it's barely ever mentioned.
wouldn't that not be on the ace spectrum though since it involves feeling full sexual attraction?/genq
@@ancient.venus_
Nope! Any form of repulsion towards sex is also on the ace spectrum, as it's very different from being Allosexual. The ace spectrum includes many identities that come with feeling some type of sexual attraction, like Demisexual, or Acespike, and also includes sex repulsed identities such as Apothisexual. You can think of Orchidsexual as maybe a combination of the two.
Or you could think of it as the opposite of Cupiosexual, which is the absence of sexual attraction but wanting to have a sexual relationship. Hope that helps!
so like, wanting seggs, but not with a person? (NOR A FUCKING PLANT OR ANIMAL) sooo, purely self pleasure???-
I appreciate your educational video. Someone made me aware I may be on the ace spectrum a long time ago, but I kind of shrugged it off as I had other part of my sexual identity to discover and I just wasn’t sure if I was ready to accept that label or not yet-I was still figuring things out. This was very helpful, at least if I decided none of these labels fit me I understand more about asexual people now. But you know what? Some of these labels might fit me-and I’m glad someone let me know and that this video was here to help. Thank you! Happy Pride everyone! 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️💕
After watching this video, I’m beginning to think I’m aceflux or quoisexual! Thank you for making this video, this really helped me learn more about the ace spectrum :)
wait. so i can change my sexuality throughout my life based on my experiences. wau. my eyes are open. all this time i thought i have no idea of what my sexuality is, because at first i was bisexual (but now i think i am more biromantic/panromantic), but these past few years i feel no sexual attraction to anybody. this maked so much more sense now! thank you for making this video
When I saw the fictosexual flag on the thumbnail I was so so SO happy, since two of my friends identify as ficosexual and I'm fictoromantic, and I never ever see ficto representation ANYWHERE, so thank you so much
I love these short explanations that you gave. I’m a heavy romantic gay man, but not necessarily allo. I’ve been really trying to find out what type of ace I might be, because I never felt like I was allo after lots of encounters. In the end, the aceflux definitely resonated with me since a lot of these ace specs seemed to describe me at certain points in my life, repeatedly. Luckily, I have a partner that is so patient and adaptable in any given situation. So, thank you! You helped me understand a lot more about myself!
All the asexual spec flags are so pretty 😳
Learned that I am acespike lately
5:29 did not know that. which is very reassuring and enlightening tbh as someone who is questioning
Such videos where the explanations are short and sweet are really helpful to me. I've been wondering for a while if I might be somewhere on the ace spectrum, so after watching this video I started looking up the identities that seem to resonate with me
Thank you for the feedback. I'm super happy to know that this was helpful. Good luck in your self-discovery!!
I’m 20 and have never identified as asexual but have always been attracted to the label since i was 14/15 and this video has cleared up a lot because I’m definitely asexual but I’m also so much more confused because I identify with multiple of these micro labels (that I’ve mostly never heard of) both simultaneously and at different times, definitely a lot to take in 😮💨
2 years late but yippee thanks for the video!! im asexual aegoromantic myself :> it's so cool being able to have ppl talking about the different labels and such bc i feel like aroace spec people are just. not really understood too well i suppose?
I've honestly been confused with my asexual identity for a while. I was cupiosexual then Demi-sexual then aegeosexual.
It's a weird feeling that I want a sexual relationship. But not as a female, not anything to do with a female. 🤷🏻♀️
I know I'm very late to this video but I just wanted to say thank you for making it! I have never felt any sexual attraction upon just meeting someone and was always very confused when others did. For me I would have to know that person for years and over time become very close before feelings like that start to arise. Obviously I'm not set in stone on possibly being Demisexual but I have been thinking more and more about this topic and this helped a ton! I also didn't know all of the different categories of being Ace and it was really nice to learn about them. Anyway's thanks for making this video that I'm sure a lot of others found helpful. And if you read all of this I hope you have a wonderful day
Thank you so much for the feedback! I hope you have a wonderful day as well.
another identity on the ace spectrum is abrosexual, which is sexuality that changes over time. the reason it's on the ace spectrum is the fact that asexuality (and any more specific terms as well) can be experienced within this sexuality along with allosexual identities
Heyy! I'm aceflux and it was so nice to see it mentioned. I don't see it represented very often and it's so awesome to see it!
I'm glad that you feel represented!
2:37 I really like reciprosexual bc I feel like I can relate to it very often. I’m not the type to confess bc of stuff but I do appreciate when others tell me their feelings of romantic attraction for me and I feel similar sentiments ^^ (idk if this makes any sense-)
Edit: sending love from a demiromantic gray sexual reciprosexual lesbian
Thank you so so much for making this video!! Now I know why I don’t form much of a connection with someone unless our relationship consists of any kind of flirting - I’m RECIPROSEXUAL! ^w^ (Please note that I am NOT generalizing reciprosexuals or people who flirt playfully )
Im gray demisexual. It was such a relief to learn about the asexual community and that it’s on a spectrum. I always thought there was something terribly wrong with me. I just didn’t understand the sex obsession with my peers.
Thank you for this video! Sadly, there is nothing that really fits my experience, but to anyone who may think: "Wow, this fits me!" it is great that they learn something about themselves
I knew i was under the asexual umbrella and i knew i was demisexual, but this really helped solidify that identity!
I really appreciate this! I've cycled through sexual identity terms trying to find what fits. I've finally landed on describing my sexuality as "some sort of grey/fray/litho situation," i.e. a brief minute of attraction, don't bother reciprocating because it's already gone 😅 I also have a hard time differentiating sexual attraction from other kinds of attraction, such as romantic or aesthetic. They kind of all blend together in my brain.
Tbh I’m mainly demisexual but I think I’m aceflux too lol, sometimes I relate to the other sexualities in the spectrum. Definitely fictosexual too lol, tysm for including that!!
That's a rad sexuality collection. Thanks for watching! - Elle
i recently learned about quoisexuality and personally identified with it. I’m so glad to see it represented, so thank you!
I'm so glad!
this video just made me realize i’m lithosexual 💀 it felt lonely af but not that i know where these symptoms are coming from i can manage it better lol
congratulations!