I Want to Declutter Things, How Do I Stop the Guilty Feelings?
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- Опубликовано: 29 авг 2024
- People give us things all the time, gifts, mementos, things that "need to stay in the family," but they're just gathering dust in the attic, and we're ready to let them go. What about those feelings?
Video mentioned:
5 Things to Declutter • 5 Things to Declutter ...
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You are right. Sometimes you don't want to avoid the landfill but we don't want our homes to become a landfill and we want to be aware of our mental health. Thanks 😊
Rachel, yes that’s a great way to cook your eggs.
Try this simple way to peel them. When cooled, drain them, put the lid on the pot and shake them. Honestly it is so fast and some end up already peeled. I learned this from my Mom, now I’m a grandma. I live in northern Alberta, Canada. 🥚🥚
My mom and MIL use me All the time to defuse their guilt for not wanting something. At this point in life (they're in late 70's and early 80's) i just thank them and take whatever they're offering. They are both always sure i can use the item. My next stop is the goodwill or other donation station.
Same here! Unfortunately if it’s my mother in law I don’t always get a say in whether we keep it or not. When they downsized about 10 years ago they dumped a lot of their stuff onto us. I think that’s when I decided I’m not doing this to my son and started getting serious about decluttering
@@donnav same!
As a person on my own health journey, I just want to say you look great!
I am a minimalist but the 'landfill' and the idea of contributing more garbage has been such a huge issue for me. I appreciate your wise words! I am able to donate most usable things easily but it's the things I don't know what to do with that cause me such stress (fabric scraps, random craft stuff, hardware like screws, hooks brackets ...) I have such a hard time with this kind of stuff and need to just allow myself to let it go to the landfill if it can't be recycled and give myself some peace.
Hi Rachel, I remember at the beginning of my decluttering journey, I had to stick notes everywhere to remind myself the reason why I was getting rid especially of emotionally connected stuff!😊
That's a great idea, thank you for sharing!
I agree with this all in theory but as a daughter/granddaughter/great granddaughter who loves vintage things and heirlooms I often wish my family tucked things into an attic instead of decluttering. There are so many things I hear about or see in pictures that I would have deeply treasured and displayed but are all gone because it wasn’t valuable to them in the moment. As my nana says “well at the time I didn’t know I was gonna have a granddaughter who loved old things”
Same! I also feel bad for sime minimalist kids who have no childhood memories, i love looking back at my special childhood box with all my special items
Don't be the family keeper of things. there is a reason why other family members don't want those things in their homes. When my parents passed on a close family member kept trying to get me to take things, and those few things I did take , they kept asking me about them. Crazy. This all finally stopped when I said to them, "If these things are so important to you , why aren't you keeping them in your home?" Never again did this kind of conversation come up lol. My Mom would be the first person to have said if you don't like something, get rid of it. Thanks Mom ! 🥰💗 For hard cooked eggs, I steam them in my Instant Pot. And yes, they do peel beautifully, after cooking and an ice water bath. 🥰💐🪷🌼💖✝💗
We are managing OK with some items and then there are some that I'm STILL not sure what to do with. At the moment, this is silver (or silver-plated?) silverware... I don't want to use it and I don't want to donate it or even sell it (quite yet)! It's about 100 years old and from Europe (I think). Ouf. Oh! And there is a couple of silver serving utensils that I like enough that I put them with our regular stuff and also a large tea-pot that I don't know what to do with...
There is a person from a tumultuous relationship that ended for me last year who keeps giving me things. Mostly junk. But she manages to find a way to get these things to me. I'm in the process of packing to move and besides not wanting more unneeded stuff, these things all carry negative energy. So much so I don't even want them in the house.
And in the process of decluttering things I've given things to others. When I got the last batch of unwanted items, I had a moment of doubt that I too was giving things away and burdening someone else with my things. My son was the one who delivered all the items and I made a point of asking him how those items were received. He reassured me the people who got the stuff I no longer wanted were all happy and receptive. And they all wanted to know if I had more!
That lifted the little bundle of guilt I had knowing I wasn't burdening someone else with my castoffs.
Another thing is, you might feel guilty about getting rid of a gift, but then if you keep it but don't use it, then sometimes you can feel guilty for not using it. At least, I do sometimes.
I was watching your order videos. You look incredibly younger looking now! It’s crazy how fasting can transform you!
This video was very helpful for a couple of reasons. The first is steaming eggs instead of boiling them. Wow! It is magic! What a great idea, one that I will share with family and friends.
The other way this video helped is by reminding me that my mental health is more important than a landfill. I have kept oodles of clothes, linens, etc. because I "had" to wash and fold them before I donated them. No. They are going in the trash. I don't have the energy to expend on another chore.
Congratulations!!! Yes! I sometimes need to ask myself if I am willing to do a certain thing at a certain time. Like, maybe next year, you WILL be able to donate a few items of clothing, but in this moment, you are not able to and that's OK!
Or take them to fabric recycling unfolded and unwashed
If u have a pressure cooker the 5,5,5 method is the fastest easiest best way to get easy to peel eggs
The best way to prevent future 'burden to the landfill' after our decluttering is done is simply to shop less.
Did you know that the fresher the eggs are, the more difficult it is to remove the shells? We have our own chickens so very fresh eggs and so difficult to peel. Eggs from the store are usually about 2 or more weeks old already before bought.
Thank you. You've given me food for thought regarding landfill.❤
My sister did this to me when our mother passed. She handed all the sentimental stuff to me , and then tried to make me feel guilty when I donated it.
She didn't want it, though. I wanted to say, my house is not your storage unit lol.
I hope you got rid of all that you didn't want! I love the idea of "picking a representative" to remember a time or person or experience. We don't need to keep ALL of it.
Rachel, We o our hardboiled eggs like that too. It's like magic. 😁
Very good talk today.
I will usally display something for a short time and when the person has seen it in my home, I then feel free to let it go with out any qualms.
Cheers
Do the eggs need longer for steaming than boiling them? Thank you for the short time display idea, I'll try that.
The way we do it, it calls for 14 minutes. I think Rachel does 12 mins.
@@juliemix3373 Thank you 🥰
"I'm getting rid of this, i dont want it!" 😂
I was laughing too... 7:15 for a recap... I may have played it a few times already. 😆🤣
@@jennyjenkins877 me too 😜
This hits really close to home. We have my husbands grandmothers china cabinet. My MIL wanted my husband & I to have it. Long story short, it ended up in someone elses possession until she passed away. It still smells of smoke after a couple years of being in our garage. We dont know what to do with it. The guilt of even thinking of getting rid of it is overwhelming. Youve made very good points, thank you for sharing!
There are ways to remove the smoke smell, but you would have to paint it afterwards. If you are interested, let me know.
I remember those dishes in the grocery store!
I agree with you about gifts ….so now l ask the person what they would like to own [or what they would like as a gift from us]and encouraged other to buy or put money towards items that the people really want or need and this way we are not wasting our precious time [looking for something to buy] or money by buying items that no one wants[because it is a surprise]. This is just another way of looking at STUFF.❤️[Most times they have a list of 3 items and we buy 1 of the items and that way it is a surprise]
I never thought about the landfills, as you talk about. I donated about 80% of my belongings that I no longer wanted.
Great video!
😊
I disagree on the landfill part. I live in a city, yet I've seen too many people throw quality items away just bc they're not in the mood to drive half a mile to any one of several donation centers and antique stores. We can even schedule some groups to come right to our homes and pick those items up; then sell them to fund their groups. For most people, there are usually viable alternatives to a dumpster.
Another way to get easy-to-peel eggs is to bring a pot of water to a rolling boil FIRST, and then put in your eggs. Boil gently for about 13-14 min. I love this method. I'll have to try steaming, too.
You have been a Blessing in my life for years now!🙂
Rachel before I comment on the video I would like to say your kitchen is so neat and clean!Everything is shining like anything!Very well kept kitchen!Thank you very very much for giving such useful tips!Stay blessed my Dear!
Love all of your videos! Hope to see new ones this year!
I've always boiled eggs like that. Bring them to a boil, put a lid on & turn the heat off. Let sit for 10 minutes. Perfect boiled eggs every time.
Also free-range or pasture-raised happy chickens make the most flavorful & delicious eggs!
We're not allowed to have chickens within city limits, so I have to buy them.
I'm so glad you made this video about gifts. You explained everything so well I want to write it down lol. Super-helpful advice. Thank you!
Just wondering how long to let the eggs sit if you want soft boiled?
@@CherryBlossomPlumtree I believe it's 4-5 minutes.
My sister and I ask if the other one wants a soon to be decluttered gift back.
Thank you for your thoughtful common sense!!❤
You are fantastic . I feel confident I can do this! Maybe. 🤨 I moved in with my husband 25 years ago and it was his family home. All of his grandparents and parents were deceased and most of their things were still in his home. He recently passed away and now I am trying to sell the house and move . However, I can’t seem to part with all of these other peoples belongings. For 25 years we constantly moved our things around to accommodate all their belongings. I know they are gone and don’t need any of it. I feel so guilty because it meant so much to them. Now our children are asking me to keep a lot of it for memories, but they don’t know these people and don’t need all this stuff.. also they are grown and still live at home . help?
Thank you for letting us into your suffering. I can relate to how you feel and you have made me feel understood, having someone who goes through the same things, with Autism. I will be praying for you and your family. Try to rest and recover your strength. You are a good man making a difference. Your not crap but a wonderful person. Debt or money are not the some of your value has a human being. Keep true to yourself. Xx
Great Message - and you have such a good format for your videos.
I try to feel the feelings, if I feel guilty, it's usually sadness below that. Feel it, learn from it for the next time.
Thank you, Rachel!
I love your hair! You look so darn cute!
Hi Rachel, I'm hugely sentimental. My kids are grown and have moved out. I'm sure they'll take some of their stuff when they are in a more permanent situation. However, when I go through their rooms to de-clutter, I get stuck on the sentimental things: favorite toys, school work, favorite stuffed animals. I need help. Any ideas?
I think many times we have to feel the feelings, and then release things anyway. We can’t make those feelings go away or change, so we just have to let things go regardless of the feelings. It helps to have certain things we are keeping, so we can remind ourselves “I’m keeping this box of stuff, so I can let go of the rest.”
Would this help...could your children declutter their own things now and box up what they want to keep (at your house)? Then you could go through what they don't want to keep and treasure a few of those items? What is left could be thrown out or given away. I have 4 children 22-13, and this is my plan. I already have a few of their things that I have treasured, which they did not want in a small box. I agree with Rachel regarding the emotional component. If your children are involved with the process then you don't have to have that burden alone.
I got rid of a full set of those exact ones. I kinda felt bad but I had to “move on.”
May I ask what is the interesting white cone hanging on the door in your kitchen?
Hello out there! We JUST moved, so there are many many many parts of this video that resonate with me at the moment! I could list about a dozen, but I'm not sure if anyone out there (aside from maybe you Rachel! :0) would want to read all that. I will say that the idea that we don't want our homes to become the landfill is a very powerful statement that caught my attention in a blog post of yours (probably about 5 years ago) and I truly appreciated that phrase back then and again the way you presented it in this video! Congratulations and thank you! :0)
All so true. I find all of your Vids helpful and inspiring. On another note How is your dad doing?
What would you recommend doing with all the crafts your children make for you, to a mother who has EXTREMELY crafty and generous children??? 😆 Seriously, I don’t quite know how to deal with it. Some of them make me cards or pictures several times a week and like me to display them. The mom in me is so touched; the minimalist in me comes unglued! I don’t know how to handle it, other than just flinging it on top of the refrigerator after it is so old and seeing if they miss it. Some things I think they expect me to always keep on display. 😑
I totally get this! Here's what I do: ruclips.net/video/-G16vDdQZgw/видео.htmlsi=svaBK6JJw-m759DL&t=414
@@Nourishingminimalism this is a great idea for paper art… thanks so much!… but what about items such as a Lego masterpiece or a painted rock? Any ideas? 🥹
❤👍
How do you break the "thought" might need this for future use.
What qbout an heirloom or sentimental item given to you by someone else that you want to get rid of, do you think its respectful to ask the original gifter if they want it back before you donate it???
👍
❤❤
I am intrigued! What is a Rage Room! Does he have a whole room in his home that will be devoted to a Rage Room?! Does he want to chuck the china at the wall? I need to know!
My understanding is that rage rooms are filled with various breakable items that you can smash with a baseball bat (or whatever) to get your frustration out. 😄 I even think there are some commercially available (like an escape room).
Yes, what is a rage room
That sounds terrible 😢
Like Mychal said, it’s a commercial building, you rent a room and they have things in there that you can break and get your frustration out. They let you bring your own things too. I think it feeds the inner child “what would it be like to break a computer with a hammer??” They have full protective suits with face shields so it’s safer.
What is a rage room? ;) Is it like what I call Room of Doom? Where clutter is just piled up...?
A pace where you can take a baseball bat and smash things. Really.
Does anyone else use a spoon to peel boiled eggs?
No shame, I do not want to give burdens to other people, I chose the landfield.
Rage room????