33:12 Rule #1 make them always feel safe - they take what you say personally so use others as an example who resemble their behavior 37:22 Rule #2 promote an environment of socially familiarity 42:15 Rule # 3 practice active listening; make sure they do not have a false premise in their thinking 46:09 Rule #4 help them feel (be) more desirable 50:14 Rule #5 be honest with them about their performance good and bad 53:30 Rule #6 give them special treatment!! 59:12 Rule #7 always OVERcommunicate with your ISFJ 1:00:45 Rule #8 initiate risks with them / shared risks
I'm not gonna lie most of these rules seem like how you should deal with a small child. Like maybe 5 yrs old and lower. Are these rules the same whether the isfj is healthy or unhealthy? Why is there such a huge need for validation and ego boosting? I think in many ways this is a recipe for a useless relationship. Since relationships are all about growth at the end of the day it's going to be hard to grow with someone who needs so much placating.
@@jannahlife7889 it has more to do with meeting ones needs and communicating effectivly given that we judge and perceive things according to our cognition/nature. This is ISFJ nature. Learn more about the functions and check out season 3 playlist and attitudes of the functions...or try getting into a relationship with them and doing the opposite lol see how that goes jk
I’m an ENTJ who recently found my ISFJ. I love making her feel safe and happy! I want to thank you for making this information available for everyone. Keep up the great work Chase.
ISFJ married ESFP before he passed away😭💔 and now with a INFP Widower 🥰 that loves me in all these ways. He is more of a communicator and emotionally connects to me, super affectionate with special treatment and attention, authentically honest with me, brings the best out of me and we both have introduced each other to parts of our community we hadn’t met on our own to expand our network of friends and profession. He promotes my business to others as I do his. 💞 love how Romantic INFPs are. Wow! Been almost a year since we met. There’s a reason INFPs are referred to as the Healers… our relationship has been about healing each other.
"The fastest way to make an ISFJ bitter towards you is dismiss them." This is so true. If I feel someone is ignoring me continously while being with me, I will just remove myself from their life. Nobody likes feeling unappreciated.
The problem is they can perceive you are dismissing them even though you aren’t, you just aren’t aware. Had an isfj girl make an instagram post about me that I never even saw, so she assumed I dismissed her and punished me by blocking me and getting a new boyfriend so for years thought she just hated me when in reality she was just upset
@Brickwilliams that's a little intense, I don't cut people out of my life for ignoring or dismissing me once, it has to be continuous, I can put up with it for years even, hoping I'm just being sensitive or imagining things. But I mean being everyone is a different person at the end of the day.
@@Picasso.theDOG in chases who are the isfjs video he explains this problem because ne inferior can lack the prescience, especially to an ni hero like myself
Wow, this video. The accuracy (strong emphasis on safety, risks and the special treatment). I feel so seen as an ISFJ. Thank you for taking time to make this video, much appreciated xxxx
It is so true that the fact that ISFJs are culture carriers, they become enslaved themselves and can’t find happiness. My ISFJ gf is 59 years old. I came out as lesbian 40 years ago and have had several relationships and loved a fulfilling, authentic life. She on the other hand has been been alone since she left her unhappy marriage to a man almost 20 years ago, all because she is religious and was afraid to be with a woman, despite realizing men are not for her and she loved women over 20 years ago. Thankfully she’s finally decided to allow herself to be happy. ❤ My heart goes out to these women (and the gay men). I hope they can break free earlier rather than later due to greater awareness of MBTI.
Hi Chase. I suggest that you remind viewers to subscribe and like your video at the beginning as well. People tend to turn the video off when they get a grasp that the lecture’s over even before your call to action to subscribe. More power to you and to your community.
"Happiness is just lack of sorrows" Wow, that's so poetic 😌 Though to me "lack of sorrows" feels closer to peacefulness, it's very interesting to see how it feels to other people. And the idea is really cool 👍
Weirdly enough I can relate to the ISFJs when it comes to them wanting to be appreciated and being told what they’re doing well/being made comfortable- I’m an INTJ woman 😅😊
CS just wish we could be a coffee shop, just me listening to you type people in the room lol with my eyes big and jaw wide open. - INFJ :) Funny thing. I'm at this new place for clinical, and two of the workers are an ISTJ and ESTP. I used your type grid to type them. So it’s like different sides of my mind in human forms around me hehe :) anywho these comments seem like the only place I can communicate with you. So thankful for you & your content :) I honestly think it’s so sweet that you read every comment. God bless and protect you and your family :) whenever I start to feel worthless, I tell myself it’s not you, it’s not you….. FI critic snaps out of it. Works for a short time. Thanks so much
thanks for this. One of the hardest types for me. Love them dearly. hard to not feel overprotected and choice being taken away by everything pre-decided risk minimized canceling out exploration for oneself. admire the diligence and love just very hard to maintain the little sense of self. Felt more respected as a child then as an adult by this type. glad you are gentle with knowing they know not what they do and mean the best most of the time. I have tried putting it on others to message my discontent in their performance towards me to allow me to be my own person without smothering me or put it on myself. so far that has only been taken personally. I’ve been gossiped about and other people having the wrong perception because they were the source of misunderstanding. on the other hand when said as gentle and indirect as possible it’s not even understood what I’m saying. So for now a gentle door slam checking back in and making sure my conduct is upright and bitterness is rooted out is all I am able to do. It’s a shame that the cost right now is too high to lose one’s self in order to gain lessons. It seems SPs are the only ones able to break through really, though it is rare that they will care to.
The wind at the beginning was actually not bad at all but you caught it before it did. Well done. If you didn't say anything we wouldn't have noticed I don't think.
These are fantastic! I’ll use them with my ISFJ step-mom and ISFJ girlfriend. ❤ Okay but how in the hell are you supposed to make them be more desirable without telling them something that needs to be improved (which is inherently critical) when they are so sensitive?! I need examples please Chase.
I know an ISFJ who's married to an ESFP. She got pregnant before marriage and married out of Si duty. I think she has resented this situation for years, even through multiple children violating her sense of freedom and how she wanted her life to go. She's begun engaging in risky behavior, seeking strange men on the internet and leaving her children in the hands of her inattentive husband while risking her career and the wrath of her husband who is well connected, has wealthy parents who could absolutely ruin her or at least make her life hell. She seems to be thinking less and concerned about the fact that her several educational degrees aren't being recognized at work in a job that doesn't value them. At least it's prompting her to try and find better work, but I worry she's leaning on her trickster in making career decisions, perhaps through her shadow? If she's successful she will be in a better place to leave her lazy husband, but I mostly worry about the kids. I've given up on trying to change her mind, she's committed to this path. Proof that golden pairs can and often do fail.
I just left another comment but I’m an ISFJ going through a divorce with an ESFP (I didn’t know much about meyers Briggs when we got married). When I was 7 months pregnant, with our very planned pregnancy, he told me he wasn’t in love with me, wasn’t happy, and had feelings for another woman. Needless to say my worst fear happened. I think in the future it would be hard for me to romantically trust a xxxP. Both of my best friends are xxxP’s (INFP and ENFP), and in romantic relationships they are very hot/cold back and forth as well.
I had an isfj trainer. At one point (at the beginning of the pandemic) I thought we have been on the same page in terms of vaccine, etc. But then I saw that some months later she liked a post that promotes the complete opposite opinion. Probably she has been persuaded by the majority. It felt like a punch in the face to find that out
Honor Gossiping is esfj enfj estp entp Isfj only has 1-2 friends .. they're super introvert If you wanna focused on isfj .s weakness only Among too much kindness attitude You pick a wrong trait Gossiping is not one
This video made me look at my son’s father critics of me in a different way. He is and an ESFP. I am an ISFJ. I took it as emotional abuse. Which he was 🙄 but some of it was true. Thank you for this video💖💖💖
Great lecture, every ISFJ should hear that, and again I respect, so much that honesty in telling the hard truth to swallow. Not necessary with that one, but in general. That's why you are the most hated MBTI channel, but who cares right :D. I recently was thinking about the issue that I noticed about ISFPs, but I was so unsure if I was biased towards them that thing was repeating so many times since I got into MBTI. To the point, I noticed, that they can be so cruel and shallow towards other people. To the point, that they can become so self-absorbed goal-oriented people that can do so many immoral things to pursue their goals. I had no intention or even purpose to shit on them for no reason because I don't like them or some shit that's just bullshit, and so many ISFPs are fine. I was so uncertain to even type that, my thoughts just were flying inside my head uncompleted till I gathered so much evidence to at least prove my point of view, I mean I still can be based I'm not trying to deny or justify the actions I'm accountable for what I'm trying to write ok, that's why I had been laid back, to even type that. Because I don't want to sound unfair towards them. Let's get started with the first thing they are interest-based introverted feelings with the ENTJ subconscious that can explain their stubbornness hmm. The second thing is that there has to be something wrong with the unhealthy Te-Fi axis that unstoppable vail cockiness is associated chiefly with gamma quadra and I have enough balls to admit it. Let me explain why oh other people think good (Te) about me (Fi), so I had to give them a good experience (Se) you can invert that mechanism. Oh, look at my achievements (Se) (Te). I know what I'm talking about (Fi) because of my status (Se). You have no idea how infuriating that second thing is to me, holy. If you want a brighter scope I recently typed H.E.R I had a fever, so I can't tell if my typing was even accurate :D. She seemed to be so direct, systematic, and very responsive based on her interviews. A long story short, she acts like a female version of Stan lee, so She was so obnoxious that I stopped an interview because of how mad I was :D. All I can say is a gamma quadra but I was ill so I can't say if it's that correct, I was obligated to provide any evidence to prove my previous point if that makes any sense to you ^^. You can say that's a Fi child supremacy, I'm not trying to argue if it, just I'll dig deeper into the unhealthy Te-Fi axis that's it. Ok back on track. The third thing is they are a body temple, so they have one of their vices is greed and being so goals-oriented, that everything else is of secondary importance which can lead to unhealthy behaviour considering their lack of Ne and Ti. That's why I think that this type should be so concerned to be surrounded by smarter good people than any other type because Se parent and Fi hero can gather all the bad habits from others, and eventually be blinded by their ignorance, At this point, I don't even know if you even agree with mine essay and I just wasted mine 20+ mins explaining what I meant lol. The last thing will be cool to see the season called "how to use temples" the same thing that, you have done with the type grid, but I suppose, you already planning it with Raka, so that's cool.
You are correct. Isfps are so selfish if the world is cruel to them, which more often than not are very cruel to people like isfps who are genuine with their wants and needs yet are being constantly shit on by the tribe everyday and accused of being immoral and all that. A healthy isfp is rare given the type of reality we live in where the taking care and true genuine authenticity of the self is often seen as satanic, greedy, selfish, cruel, narcissistic, self centred etc etc Thus, the isfp will almost almost(edit: almost always***) be toxic and selfish because they realise no one cares about their needs and wants, and that only they themselves care. They are very lonely souls, who don’t even care for genuine friendships anymore other than friendships and relationships which has something to offer them. Who to blame? Who knows
If you're wavering between the two, ask yourself how dedicated you are to tradition, celebrating holidays, to 'if it ain't broke dont fix it,' and if you have a powerful short and long term memory or not. If you said "yes, yes, uh huh, I remember word for word what I said 3 years ago in May..." Then you are an ISFJ
I agree with isfjs aversion to change. I remember my isfj husband told me that he feels compelled to grow and take risks because he feels I won't love him anymore if he remains stagnant. Im an estj. I love him still but I do see him as less for not wanting to grow and take chances. I guess it's good for both of us. I push him to improve, he makes me a kinder person (as much as he can) 😅
Yes we remember information that’s important to us. Yes we are of the social justice committee. But! We are fair! Most times nonjudgmental, we try and look at situations from others point of view and we will likely put ourselves in others shoes. We don’t intentionally coherent contract others ( that’s a ESFP THING) but it’s like why would you harm one who has your best interest at heart? So hurtful. I feel violated daily but am willing to give multiple, and multiple chances🙄
Hey Chase I hope your doing well! I wanted some advice coming from a fellow intuitive. I’m an ENTP dating an ISFJ and I’m hitting a roadblock even though I’m doing most of the things here. My gripe with the ISFJ and the sensors in my life in general are them not trying to understand where I’m coming from. They seem to be okay with being complacent and unhappy because society brainwashed them into being obedient and that’s not how I want to live. I’ve also seen this happen with my INTP friend where people continually harm her because she’s not an SJ. I love the SJs in my life but the gap in communication and understanding between each other causes a lot of misunderstandings. That plus their willing to abandon people who won’t agree with them and label me, someone with good intentions, as a bad person when I’m just a pragmatic person.
2 out of 3 ISFJ women I am close to always push me away. No matter how many times I go back, they do it again. The other doesn't. Maybe I've mistyped her!?
Hey Chase, I have a user request.. Is it possible for you to touch on the subject of the 5 love languages and to make a prediction of which of the types prefers which love language? For example, I think my love languages are (in particular) giving and receiving gifts and acts of services, and I would love to know if this can be connected to my type (ISFJ)
Fi inferior point of view on happiness... happiness is choice. A person needs to choose happiness and ISFJs seem to be afraid to do that cause it means they have to challenge themselves
This is going to sound ridiculous. I think there is value in feeling worthless all the time. The critic is also the source of one’s wisdom. It helps to protect us when we get offered something we know we do not deserve. And it helps us to not feel entitled to things we did not earn. Sometimes, choosing to be happy is unwise.
We're afraid because making ourselves happy might mean making someone else unhappy. Rationality & some self preservation (the "Put your own oxygen mask on 1st" trick) helps challenge us 🙂
Thanks for posting this amazing video. I highly appreciate your efforts and it is very informative and helpful on my journey to better myself as an ISFJ. I have recently watched the video on the quadras where you talked about crusaders wielding the icy sword of truth. I have been thinking about this icy sword of truth for the past week and I am frustrated because I can't think of how this sword can be used in a way that is good. It seems like the fiery sword of truth is superior in every way because it sets the stage for a person to grow and become better. While on the other hand, the icy sword of truth just leaves them with permanent damage. It doesn't seem likely that God would give the crusaders this icy sword of truth just for them to practice resisting the temptation of using it. Just like the parable of the talents, the master rebuked the servant who buried the coin. I think I am failing to grasp something important here. When my intention is not to maim but to provide opportunity for growth. Is there a method for the icy sword of truth to be deployed in a way that can be beneficial to the one it cuts? Or do I really have to entertain the idea that there are so many people out there that are beyond the help of the fiery sword and it takes an entire quadra of icy sword wielders to deal with them.
I'm an isfj female and I'm a loyal doer n would not leave our children yet can be a fierce alligator when u try to come for our children yet I am feminine I can be soft spoken and gentle and a giver however because I am also an empath I can feel and read your emotions and foresee your intentions. And then can decipher ur loyalty and intentions within roughly 10 minutes of meeting u. By my energy pulling into yours. I have found myself sometimes drained because of the negative and blackness that was dumped on me. I'm shy n tend to stay away from people. However it's not hard for me to see a narrissitc man a mile away however I can see a broken man and feel empathy
I can already read this guy n know his mom was isfj and was never satisfied him his choices n he never understood the traditionalism we hold dear since we learn n use our past experiences to make choices for the future. In he is obviously a forward thinker
Hi Chase Ive ran the test a few time with a plethora but INTJ and ISFJ are the two I can relate most to, I seem to share alot of traits of both these types. I've also had other use the type grid and they've typed me similarly. Any words of wisdom or advice? Thanks
Download the free type grid companion at csjoseph.life and work through that, you'll get your answer. Or if you're impatient you can always get a 15 min typing session.
@@LilacSnowBun that's just the thing, i just can't place it. Not to getting into too much detail I met someone who was a huge part of my life and betrayed me like no other. Yes I'm still caring but no where near as much as I once was.
@@danielcherry4675 Studying all the individual cognitive functions inside and out should help clarify things. I don’t think those two types share any of the same ones. (Im really sorry you were betrayed, though. I don’t think your response to that points to Fe or Fi. :) )
Because he needs as much protection as possible from the sensitive charlatans who cannot handle the truth and may come back at him and grab a piece of flesh from him.
Chase, wouldn't INFPs be the most feminine due to lack of Se? I know that SFJs are triple informative but man that is close observationally imo especially with NFPs as triple affiliative and low Se...just wondering. But I agree that ISFJ women seem the most naturally feminine (mega hotties) but I feel like the INFP men are more feminine than ISFJ men idk. Just a feel.
I agree that INFPs are more feminine in certain ways. Overall it’s tough to rank the types in terms of masculinity and femininity though, in my opinion ESFJs are the most feminine but really it’s more accurate to group them all up: Most feminine: NFP/SFJ 2nd most feminine: SFP/NTP 3rd most feminine: NFJ/STJ Least feminine: STP/NTJ Some people might still disagree with these groupings but this is my take on it. Also as an INTJ i can see how im more masculine in certain ways and less masculine in other ways compared to STPs, so i think it’s good to not just call 1 type the most feminine/masculine and instead be more accurate with what exactly is masculine/feminine within a type.
@@theoofsweden I actually agree with this completely. I think the triple systematic mind of CSJ has done a really good job on ranking as objectively as possible (my triple interest mind appreciates this) but as you say, even within certain types there are traits that have feminine or masculine elements to them for sure. As an INFJ, I can see (in me an in others) how we can be rather feminine for males (NFJ smoothies/r&b prone etc) but at other times I feel like the baddest mf on the planet (TheWeeknd - Rambo remix)...then again I see ESFPs being really childlike/playful and prone to tears but also like metal music etc (Miguel - a beautiful exit)...and ESFPs and INFJs are in the middle of the pack...lots of ebb and flow to it.
@@theoofsweden Also I think it's helpful to observe the level of masculine energy in females in ranking them and visa versa with the males just for the feel...but man, the NFP SFJ is still such a toss up for me if I had to pick an absolute...
What’s the point of women having judgement functions(Ti and Fi) to form their own thoughts and beliefs if their just going to give them up for their man’s? Why do women have judgement functions if they have little influence and their going to ignore them and follow mens judgement?
I think csj said something a while ago about women acting as a personal debating partner in private especially two Ti users to help sharpen their men etc
Yeah don't do that, that would make a terrible teammate. A man leading means going first, going second does not mean you get to stop thinking and feeling for yourself, please attribute women more credit and responsibility within the relationship.
A woman having judgement functions is good for filtering through possible mates. Of course, we want to submit to, support and make ourselves more vulnerable around a man we feel safe with. Who we know is reliable, who has sound judgment himself, is respectable and respects others, has accountability and takes his responsibilities seriously. We use our judgement to determine if he will be a horrible leader that would lead us into a ditch of pain and destruction or a great leader who we feel could provide us the potential of a better future with him at the wheel. We all want a man with better judgement than us so we can take on a more supportive role and feel safe to express our more feminine and nurturing qualities. So we use our judgment to determine which men we will get behind to lead us and which men we will never even allow to touch our wheel
Fair enough, you actually ended up teaching me something by the end of the video. Thanks. Hard to hear some of these things, paused the video a few times to digest, but thanks.
38:37 There's no reason for anybody to accept me, nobody's giving me a reason (no special treatment)... ipso facto nobody actually does care, must be because I'm so shit. Or they accept that there's no such thing as earning love, but they still try anyway, and then see any love they get as something people fake in order to get something (because in their mind everybody turns out to be unsafe eventually). 🙄 How do you get passed a jaded loop like this? edit: okay you answered this, take risks and take them with you. And special treatment. got it. Looking back I can see it now.
So am I right in saying that developing my Te Nemesis would help with my partner's Ti Child? (Since our session Chase, I have 100% confirmed she's an ISFJ, no longer a "not entirely sure" scenario haha)
Chase, not gonna lie to you. This was a painful watch because of the time wasted watching a video with more than 50% of it not related to 8 rules for loving an ISFJ.
What ? Do you leave on earth ? Where does the world need to revolve around the "Male nature" when in most countries 1/8 of the men's are killing themselves, 1/3 man between the age of 18-30 is a virgins or celibate for years, marrige literally destroys men's in courtand in finance plus the children , plus fatherless depressed kid who become school shooter or drug addict ,and most men's are leaving America to go too Colombia or in the east ?
@@fificore You don't have to. Its simply reality and fact. Men lead "because" they WANT to. Women follow because they WANT to. After hundreds of thousands of years, we have evolved like 99% of all other mammals, physically and mentally to maintain that order (men have more testosterone and thus are bigger and stronger and more physically capable, whilst women have more estrogen and thus are smaller, weaker and more nurturing). Thinking differently can't change that no matter how hard one tries. In fact, civilised society WILL fail and people will start dying if its forced differently.
@@fredsas12: Well, White people had guns when they began enslaving Black people. They were stronger in this way. They also thought civilization would fail if slaves were freed. How come people can say such things about women but don't dare to say it about any other group?
God from The bible . (First Corinthians chapter 11 verse 6) : For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head. A man ought not to cover his head,since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.
Religion and agenda. Be grateful though that people tell you that right away so you can tell they're crazy and get away from them before its too late. Doesn't change the fact that women birth everyone. In hinduism, one is not better than the other and both are important.
33:12 Rule #1 make them always feel safe - they take what you say personally so use others as an example who resemble their behavior
37:22 Rule #2 promote an environment of socially familiarity
42:15 Rule # 3 practice active listening; make sure they do not have a false premise in their thinking
46:09 Rule #4 help them feel (be) more desirable
50:14 Rule #5 be honest with them about their performance good and bad
53:30 Rule #6 give them special treatment!!
59:12 Rule #7 always OVERcommunicate with your ISFJ
1:00:45 Rule #8 initiate risks with them / shared risks
I'm not gonna lie most of these rules seem like how you should deal with a small child. Like maybe 5 yrs old and lower.
Are these rules the same whether the isfj is healthy or unhealthy?
Why is there such a huge need for validation and ego boosting?
I think in many ways this is a recipe for a useless relationship.
Since relationships are all about growth at the end of the day it's going to be hard to grow with someone who needs so much placating.
@@jannahlife7889 it has more to do with meeting ones needs and communicating effectivly given that we judge and perceive things according to our cognition/nature. This is ISFJ nature. Learn more about the functions and check out season 3 playlist and attitudes of the functions...or try getting into a relationship with them and doing the opposite lol see how that goes jk
@@jannahlife7889 You should look at cs joseph's article on the importance of touch to si users. It would clarify things.
What is socially familiarity?
@@friendlyanomaly6109 check out the video but essentially it is people they are comfortable around. Create a safe social environment.
I’m an ENTJ who recently found my ISFJ. I love making her feel safe and happy! I want to thank you for making this information available for everyone. Keep up the great work Chase.
ISFJ married ESFP before he passed away😭💔 and now with a INFP Widower 🥰 that loves me in all these ways. He is more of a communicator and emotionally connects to me, super affectionate with special treatment and attention, authentically honest with me, brings the best out of me and we both have introduced each other to parts of our community we hadn’t met on our own to expand our network of friends and profession. He promotes my business to others as I do his. 💞 love how Romantic INFPs are. Wow! Been almost a year since we met.
There’s a reason INFPs are referred to as the Healers… our relationship has been about healing each other.
"The fastest way to make an ISFJ bitter towards you is dismiss them." This is so true. If I feel someone is ignoring me continously while being with me, I will just remove myself from their life. Nobody likes feeling unappreciated.
The problem is they can perceive you are dismissing them even though you aren’t, you just aren’t aware. Had an isfj girl make an instagram post about me that I never even saw, so she assumed I dismissed her and punished me by blocking me and getting a new boyfriend so for years thought she just hated me when in reality she was just upset
@Brickwilliams that's a little intense, I don't cut people out of my life for ignoring or dismissing me once, it has to be continuous, I can put up with it for years even, hoping I'm just being sensitive or imagining things. But I mean being everyone is a different person at the end of the day.
@@Picasso.theDOG I suppose it was continuous, and it was fair from her perspective HAD I seen the posts and ignored her, the only problem is I DIDNT
@@Picasso.theDOG in chases who are the isfjs video he explains this problem because ne inferior can lack the prescience, especially to an ni hero like myself
Glad you finally posted it! Lots of people have been waiting for this one!
Wow, this video. The accuracy (strong emphasis on safety, risks and the special treatment). I feel so seen as an ISFJ. Thank you for taking time to make this video, much appreciated xxxx
I was smiling like an idiot through all the rules as an isfj. It's way too bloody accurate. That 'i wanna be appreciated' meme hits deep all the way.
It is so true that the fact that ISFJs are culture carriers, they become enslaved themselves and can’t find happiness. My ISFJ gf is 59 years old. I came out as lesbian 40 years ago and have had several relationships and loved a fulfilling, authentic life. She on the other hand has been been alone since she left her unhappy marriage to a man almost 20 years ago, all because she is religious and was afraid to be with a woman, despite realizing men are not for her and she loved women over 20 years ago. Thankfully she’s finally decided to allow herself to be happy. ❤ My heart goes out to these women (and the gay men). I hope they can break free earlier rather than later due to greater awareness of MBTI.
I think that’s why I like ISFJs, their introversion and triple femininity/informative
Hi Chase. I suggest that you remind viewers to subscribe and like your video at the beginning as well. People tend to turn the video off when they get a grasp that the lecture’s over even before your call to action to subscribe. More power to you and to your community.
"Happiness is just lack of sorrows"
Wow, that's so poetic 😌
Though to me "lack of sorrows" feels closer to peacefulness, it's very interesting to see how it feels to other people. And the idea is really cool 👍
Absolutely phenomenal video 🔥
Putting that book “Illusions” in my Amazon cart now. Anything to help my sweetheart feel less afraid of who she is. And I love Richard Bach.
Thank you for this video, much appreciated.
Weirdly enough I can relate to the ISFJs when it comes to them wanting to be appreciated and being told what they’re doing well/being made comfortable- I’m an INTJ woman 😅😊
CS just wish we could be a coffee shop, just me listening to you type people in the room lol with my eyes big and jaw wide open. - INFJ :) Funny thing. I'm at this new place for clinical, and two of the workers are an ISTJ and ESTP. I used your type grid to type them. So it’s like different sides of my mind in human forms around me hehe :) anywho these comments seem like the only place I can communicate with you. So thankful for you & your content :) I honestly think it’s so sweet that you read every comment. God bless and protect you and your family :)
whenever I start to feel worthless, I tell myself it’s not you, it’s not you….. FI critic snaps out of it. Works for a short time. Thanks so much
Sure thing Lulu
So glad you finally posted something, anything, on ISFJ. THANKS CS Joseph😅
thanks for this. One of the hardest types for me. Love them dearly. hard to not feel overprotected and choice being taken away by everything pre-decided risk minimized canceling out exploration for oneself. admire the diligence and love just very hard to maintain the little sense of self. Felt more respected as a child then as an adult by this type.
glad you are gentle with knowing they know not what they do and mean the best most of the time. I have tried putting it on others to message my discontent in their performance towards me to allow me to be my own person without smothering me or put it on myself. so far that has only been taken personally. I’ve been gossiped about and other people having the wrong perception because they were the source of misunderstanding. on the other hand when said as gentle and indirect as possible it’s not even understood what I’m saying.
So for now a gentle door slam checking back in and making sure my conduct is upright and bitterness is rooted out is all I am able to do.
It’s a shame that the cost right now is too high to lose one’s self in order to gain lessons. It seems SPs are the only ones able to break through really, though it is rare that they will care to.
This was awesome and very helpful for understanding this ISFJ man I’m dating!
also hugs, food, and laughter go a long way with them, be it platonic, familial, or romantic
The wind at the beginning was actually not bad at all but you caught it before it did. Well done. If you didn't say anything we wouldn't have noticed I don't think.
Bro i love you so much! (From Esfp who's trying to know more about isfj )
These are fantastic! I’ll use them with my ISFJ step-mom and ISFJ girlfriend. ❤
Okay but how in the hell are you supposed to make them be more desirable without telling them something that needs to be improved (which is inherently critical) when they are so sensitive?! I need examples please Chase.
I can't over communicate with isfj its so hard i feel clingy 😅
I know an ISFJ who's married to an ESFP. She got pregnant before marriage and married out of Si duty. I think she has resented this situation for years, even through multiple children violating her sense of freedom and how she wanted her life to go. She's begun engaging in risky behavior, seeking strange men on the internet and leaving her children in the hands of her inattentive husband while risking her career and the wrath of her husband who is well connected, has wealthy parents who could absolutely ruin her or at least make her life hell. She seems to be thinking less and concerned about the fact that her several educational degrees aren't being recognized at work in a job that doesn't value them. At least it's prompting her to try and find better work, but I worry she's leaning on her trickster in making career decisions, perhaps through her shadow? If she's successful she will be in a better place to leave her lazy husband, but I mostly worry about the kids. I've given up on trying to change her mind, she's committed to this path. Proof that golden pairs can and often do fail.
I just left another comment but I’m an ISFJ going through a divorce with an ESFP (I didn’t know much about meyers Briggs when we got married). When I was 7 months pregnant, with our very planned pregnancy, he told me he wasn’t in love with me, wasn’t happy, and had feelings for another woman. Needless to say my worst fear happened. I think in the future it would be hard for me to romantically trust a xxxP. Both of my best friends are xxxP’s (INFP and ENFP), and in romantic relationships they are very hot/cold back and forth as well.
Side note: i really prefer your videos without intros ( thats more straight to the point )
Or you could just pin a comment that reads timestamps or something
This one really gets started only around 33:00 😂
@@jacobxavier1068Thank you! I came to the comments looking for this. 😂
The topic of this video sort of starts at 7:45 but really at 12:45.
Yay! Trying to show some love to my friend 💖
I had an isfj trainer. At one point (at the beginning of the pandemic) I thought we have been on the same page in terms of vaccine, etc. But then I saw that some months later she liked a post that promotes the complete opposite opinion. Probably she has been persuaded by the majority. It felt like a punch in the face to find that out
Isfj is the kindest type
Loving them is the best investation in life
is that like a combination of infestation and investment? INFEST THEM WITH INVESTMENTS!
They are good in gossiping others.
Honor
Gossiping is esfj enfj estp entp
Isfj only has 1-2 friends .. they're super introvert
If you wanna focused on isfj .s weakness only Among too much kindness attitude
You pick a wrong trait
Gossiping is not one
Actually… ISFJs can be bit cold sometime.
@@qasimimtiaz9668
Yes. When they're with total strangers . But not to acquaintance
Isfjs Always smile
I'm a isfj and this is true
This video made me look at my son’s father critics of me in a different way. He is and an ESFP. I am an ISFJ. I took it as emotional abuse. Which he was 🙄 but some of it was true. Thank you for this video💖💖💖
Great lecture, every ISFJ should hear that, and again I respect, so much that honesty in telling the hard truth to swallow. Not necessary with that one, but in general. That's why you are the most hated MBTI channel, but who cares right :D. I recently was thinking about the issue that I noticed about ISFPs, but I was so unsure if I was biased towards them that thing was repeating so many times since I got into MBTI. To the point, I noticed, that they can be so cruel and shallow towards other people. To the point, that they can become so self-absorbed goal-oriented people that can do so many immoral things to pursue their goals. I had no intention or even purpose to shit on them for no reason because I don't like them or some shit that's just bullshit, and so many ISFPs are fine. I was so uncertain to even type that, my thoughts just were flying inside my head uncompleted till I gathered so much evidence to at least prove my point of view, I mean I still can be based I'm not trying to deny or justify the actions I'm accountable for what I'm trying to write ok, that's why I had been laid back, to even type that. Because I don't want to sound unfair towards them. Let's get started with the first thing they are interest-based introverted feelings with the ENTJ subconscious that can explain their stubbornness hmm. The second thing is that there has to be something wrong with the unhealthy Te-Fi axis that unstoppable vail cockiness is associated chiefly with gamma quadra and I have enough balls to admit it. Let me explain why oh other people think good (Te) about me (Fi), so I had to give them a good experience (Se) you can invert that mechanism. Oh, look at my achievements (Se) (Te). I know what I'm talking about (Fi) because of my status (Se). You have no idea how infuriating that second thing is to me, holy. If you want a brighter scope I recently typed H.E.R I had a fever, so I can't tell if my typing was even accurate :D. She seemed to be so direct, systematic, and very responsive based on her interviews. A long story short, she acts like a female version of Stan lee, so She was so obnoxious that I stopped an interview because of how mad I was :D. All I can say is a gamma quadra but I was ill so I can't say if it's that correct, I was obligated to provide any evidence to prove my previous point if that makes any sense to you ^^. You can say that's a Fi child supremacy, I'm not trying to argue if it, just I'll dig deeper into the unhealthy Te-Fi axis that's it. Ok back on track. The third thing is they are a body temple, so they have one of their vices is greed and being so goals-oriented, that everything else is of secondary importance which can lead to unhealthy behaviour considering their lack of Ne and Ti. That's why I think that this type should be so concerned to be surrounded by smarter good people than any other type because Se parent and Fi hero can gather all the bad habits from others, and eventually be blinded by their ignorance, At this point, I don't even know if you even agree with mine essay and I just wasted mine 20+ mins explaining what I meant lol. The last thing will be cool to see the season called "how to use temples" the same thing that, you have done with the type grid, but I suppose, you already planning it with Raka, so that's cool.
You are correct. Isfps are so selfish if the world is cruel to them, which more often than not are very cruel to people like isfps who are genuine with their wants and needs yet are being constantly shit on by the tribe everyday and accused of being immoral and all that. A healthy isfp is rare given the type of reality we live in where the taking care and true genuine authenticity of the self is often seen as satanic, greedy, selfish, cruel, narcissistic, self centred etc etc
Thus, the isfp will almost almost(edit: almost always***) be toxic and selfish because they realise no one cares about their needs and wants, and that only they themselves care. They are very lonely souls, who don’t even care for genuine friendships anymore other than friendships and relationships which has something to offer them.
Who to blame? Who knows
There are a ton of isfps but a healthy one is super duper rare asfk. And letme tell you, a healthy isfp is the most beautiful person ever
I’ve most of infjs and isfjs videos but I still not sure about my type !! Can talk more about how to tell if someone is infj or isfj !
If you're wavering between the two, ask yourself how dedicated you are to tradition, celebrating holidays, to 'if it ain't broke dont fix it,' and if you have a powerful short and long term memory or not. If you said "yes, yes, uh huh, I remember word for word what I said 3 years ago in May..." Then you are an ISFJ
Great video as always!
I agree with isfjs aversion to change. I remember my isfj husband told me that he feels compelled to grow and take risks because he feels I won't love him anymore if he remains stagnant. Im an estj. I love him still but I do see him as less for not wanting to grow and take chances. I guess it's good for both of us. I push him to improve, he makes me a kinder person (as much as he can) 😅
I've never had more respect or fear for any other type. My ISFJ was meticulous in her imaginary vengeance plots, diabolical
I can see wind makes you very uncomfortable, where as I, an se user, enjoys wind very much, makes me feel free and joyful
Not when you’re trying to film and record audio for a RUclips video.
@@hfortenberry true
Yes we remember information that’s important to us. Yes we are of the social justice committee. But! We are fair! Most times nonjudgmental, we try and look at situations from others point of view and we will likely put ourselves in others shoes. We don’t intentionally coherent contract others ( that’s a ESFP THING) but it’s like why would you harm one who has your best interest at heart? So hurtful. I feel violated daily but am willing to give multiple, and multiple chances🙄
Hey Chase I hope your doing well! I wanted some advice coming from a fellow intuitive. I’m an ENTP dating an ISFJ and I’m hitting a roadblock even though I’m doing most of the things here. My gripe with the ISFJ and the sensors in my life in general are them not trying to understand where I’m coming from. They seem to be okay with being complacent and unhappy because society brainwashed them into being obedient and that’s not how I want to live. I’ve also seen this happen with my INTP friend where people continually harm her because she’s not an SJ. I love the SJs in my life but the gap in communication and understanding between each other causes a lot of misunderstandings. That plus their willing to abandon people who won’t agree with them and label me, someone with good intentions, as a bad person when I’m just a pragmatic person.
Get a different person or an additional one.
2 out of 3 ISFJ women I am close to always push me away. No matter how many times I go back, they do it again. The other doesn't. Maybe I've mistyped her!?
Likely
Hey Chase, I have a user request.. Is it possible for you to touch on the subject of the 5 love languages and to make a prediction of which of the types prefers which love language? For example, I think my love languages are (in particular) giving and receiving gifts and acts of services, and I would love to know if this can be connected to my type (ISFJ)
Watch 8 rules for love playlist
Secondary comment but I really enjoy your "look", powerful impression
Fi inferior point of view on happiness... happiness is choice. A person needs to choose happiness and ISFJs seem to be afraid to do that cause it means they have to challenge themselves
that's what my Fi child dad always says. happiness is a choice and that it is a waste of time to be depressed.
This is going to sound ridiculous. I think there is value in feeling worthless all the time. The critic is also the source of one’s wisdom. It helps to protect us when we get offered something we know we do not deserve. And it helps us to not feel entitled to things we did not earn. Sometimes, choosing to be happy is unwise.
@@LiquidWolfmans Ive thought the same before tbh It keeps you humble.
We're afraid because making ourselves happy might mean making someone else unhappy. Rationality & some self preservation (the "Put your own oxygen mask on 1st" trick) helps challenge us 🙂
This podcast stop cs joseph to finish his cigar 😂
i like the place you recorded in it has a good vibe
Seems EXHAUSTING.
ISFJ women are exhausting. But they mean well.
dang the barks
Thanks for posting this amazing video. I highly appreciate your efforts and it is very informative and helpful on my journey to better myself as an ISFJ.
I have recently watched the video on the quadras where you talked about crusaders wielding the icy sword of truth. I have been thinking about this icy sword of truth for the past week and I am frustrated because I can't think of how this sword can be used in a way that is good.
It seems like the fiery sword of truth is superior in every way because it sets the stage for a person to grow and become better. While on the other hand, the icy sword of truth just leaves them with permanent damage.
It doesn't seem likely that God would give the crusaders this icy sword of truth just for them to practice resisting the temptation of using it. Just like the parable of the talents, the master rebuked the servant who buried the coin.
I think I am failing to grasp something important here. When my intention is not to maim but to provide opportunity for growth. Is there a method for the icy sword of truth to be deployed in a way that can be beneficial to the one it cuts?
Or do I really have to entertain the idea that there are so many people out there that are beyond the help of the fiery sword and it takes an entire quadra of icy sword wielders to deal with them.
You're going to be an insufferable nag no matter what sword you use.
@@SunscreenAndVitamins no isfj's have ever been a nag to me in my entire life, because I never leave them wondering what my position is on anything.
@@knifeyonline Nobody nags because they don't "know your position."
@@SunscreenAndVitamins It seems like you had a bad experience with ISFJs. Are you hurting?
@@LiquidWolfmans Everybody's had a bad experience with ISFJs because they won't stop attacking people.
Please create more ISFJ content :). How can an ISFJ stop paying (too much) attention to detail? F.e. ✨
Need more Acolytes to pay for ISFJ content
Do you take questions by email or do I have to be a paid member of sorts? Thanks
Paid
Acolyte members actually get one video answer each month, you can sign up at offers.csjoseph.life/acolyte
Chase every 2 minutes "that's a problem" lol
I'm an isfj female and I'm a loyal doer n would not leave our children yet can be a fierce alligator when u try to come for our children yet I am feminine I can be soft spoken and gentle and a giver however because I am also an empath I can feel and read your emotions and foresee your intentions. And then can decipher ur loyalty and intentions within roughly 10 minutes of meeting u. By my energy pulling into yours. I have found myself sometimes drained because of the negative and blackness that was dumped on me. I'm shy n tend to stay away from people. However it's not hard for me to see a narrissitc man a mile away however I can see a broken man and feel empathy
I can already read this guy n know his mom was isfj and was never satisfied him his choices n he never understood the traditionalism we hold dear since we learn n use our past experiences to make choices for the future. In he is obviously a forward thinker
U don't Chase happiness. Chase happies you with content. Here's my FI critic conclusion.
Waaaaaaaa I don't know what an Ego-investment is!! HALP!
Hi Chase Ive ran the test a few time with a plethora but INTJ and ISFJ are the two I can relate most to, I seem to share alot of traits of both these types. I've also had other use the type grid and they've typed me similarly. Any words of wisdom or advice? Thanks
Download the free type grid companion at csjoseph.life and work through that, you'll get your answer. Or if you're impatient you can always get a 15 min typing session.
Very interesting. Do you think you’re Fi or Fe?
@@LilacSnowBun that's just the thing, i just can't place it. Not to getting into too much detail I met someone who was a huge part of my life and betrayed me like no other. Yes I'm still caring but no where near as much as I once was.
@@danielcherry4675 Studying all the individual cognitive functions inside and out should help clarify things. I don’t think those two types share any of the same ones. (Im really sorry you were betrayed, though. I don’t think your response to that points to Fe or Fi. :) )
@@danielcherry4675 That's not how an INTJs response looks like.
Why is he wearing gloves??
Why indeed.
Because he can, I guess
Because he needs as much protection as possible from the sensitive charlatans who cannot handle the truth and may come back at him and grab a piece of flesh from him.
Chase, wouldn't INFPs be the most feminine due to lack of Se? I know that SFJs are triple informative but man that is close observationally imo especially with NFPs as triple affiliative and low Se...just wondering. But I agree that ISFJ women seem the most naturally feminine (mega hotties) but I feel like the INFP men are more feminine than ISFJ men idk. Just a feel.
I agree that INFPs are more feminine in certain ways.
Overall it’s tough to rank the types in terms of masculinity and femininity though, in my opinion ESFJs are the most feminine but really it’s more accurate to group them all up:
Most feminine: NFP/SFJ
2nd most feminine: SFP/NTP
3rd most feminine: NFJ/STJ
Least feminine: STP/NTJ
Some people might still disagree with these groupings but this is my take on it.
Also as an INTJ i can see how im more masculine in certain ways and less masculine in other ways compared to STPs, so i think it’s good to not just call 1 type the most feminine/masculine and instead be more accurate with what exactly is masculine/feminine within a type.
@@theoofsweden I actually agree with this completely. I think the triple systematic mind of CSJ has done a really good job on ranking as objectively as possible (my triple interest mind appreciates this) but as you say, even within certain types there are traits that have feminine or masculine elements to them for sure. As an INFJ, I can see (in me an in others) how we can be rather feminine for males (NFJ smoothies/r&b prone etc) but at other times I feel like the baddest mf on the planet (TheWeeknd - Rambo remix)...then again I see ESFPs being really childlike/playful and prone to tears but also like metal music etc (Miguel - a beautiful exit)...and ESFPs and INFJs are in the middle of the pack...lots of ebb and flow to it.
@@theoofsweden Also I think it's helpful to observe the level of masculine energy in females in ranking them and visa versa with the males just for the feel...but man, the NFP SFJ is still such a toss up for me if I had to pick an absolute...
What’s the point of women having judgement functions(Ti and Fi) to form their own thoughts and beliefs if their just going to give them up for their man’s?
Why do women have judgement functions if they have little influence and their going to ignore them and follow mens judgement?
I think csj said something a while ago about women acting as a personal debating partner in private especially two Ti users to help sharpen their men etc
Yeah don't do that, that would make a terrible teammate. A man leading means going first, going second does not mean you get to stop thinking and feeling for yourself, please attribute women more credit and responsibility within the relationship.
This is the dumbest question ever, please use your brain next time
A woman having judgement functions is good for filtering through possible mates. Of course, we want to submit to, support and make ourselves more vulnerable around a man we feel safe with. Who we know is reliable, who has sound judgment himself, is respectable and respects others, has accountability and takes his responsibilities seriously. We use our judgement to determine if he will be a horrible leader that would lead us into a ditch of pain and destruction or a great leader who we feel could provide us the potential of a better future with him at the wheel. We all want a man with better judgement than us so we can take on a more supportive role and feel safe to express our more feminine and nurturing qualities. So we use our judgment to determine which men we will get behind to lead us and which men we will never even allow to touch our wheel
Fair enough, you actually ended up teaching me something by the end of the video. Thanks. Hard to hear some of these things, paused the video a few times to digest, but thanks.
Can you do a video about passive aggressive enfjs
Oh, I don't like those.
@@fificore what? ENFJs?
You mean the cruel ones ? watch the virtue and vice of enfjs video .
not passive for too long, they are probably scared of you if so.
38:37 There's no reason for anybody to accept me, nobody's giving me a reason (no special treatment)... ipso facto nobody actually does care, must be because I'm so shit. Or they accept that there's no such thing as earning love, but they still try anyway, and then see any love they get as something people fake in order to get something (because in their mind everybody turns out to be unsafe eventually). 🙄 How do you get passed a jaded loop like this? edit: okay you answered this, take risks and take them with you. And special treatment. got it. Looking back I can see it now.
This is the most creepy video I've seen this year.
How would an ISFJ try to harm me?
by destroying things (Se) that make their future better (Ni). edit: or somebody else's future.
@@knifeyonline And what will they to do if i sue them for destroying my property? Won't they just have shot themselfe in their own foot
By bad mouthing, gossiping and destroying your reputation. It's a Crusader most destructive weapon.
@@honor9lite1337 you mean women's most destructive weapon?
@@mango38628 the men do this too
So am I right in saying that developing my Te Nemesis would help with my partner's Ti Child? (Since our session Chase, I have 100% confirmed she's an ISFJ, no longer a "not entirely sure" scenario haha)
They walk the path of sorrow.
Itachi theme starts playing 😓
The swinging is distracting I wish he would sit still or swing less aggressively
Sfjs are the most feminine and attractive to me, infj. Can't tell quantify which is more than the other, let's just say it's even.
According to the Socionics 4-D model ENTPs have very strong Te.
My mother is an ISFJ
Chase, not gonna lie to you. This was a painful watch because of the time wasted watching a video with more than 50% of it not related to 8 rules for loving an ISFJ.
Lmao no one is forcing you to watch the video
You don’t get to decide what relates, I do.
@@CSJoseph maybe set up the camera and pick the location before starting the video and make sure they work.
@@viciouswolf567se demon bro
Elvis being an ISFJ explains why he was so feminine.
*When you say "human nature", I'm pretty sure you mean male nature and how everything needs to revolve around it, but OK.*
What ? Do you leave on earth ? Where does the world need to revolve around the "Male nature" when in most countries 1/8 of the men's are killing themselves, 1/3 man between the age of 18-30 is a virgins or celibate for years, marrige literally destroys men's in courtand in finance plus the children , plus fatherless depressed kid who become school shooter or drug addict ,and most men's are leaving America to go too Colombia or in the east ?
FYI, when I say "need", I literally mean need.
Of course, to clarify, I don't agree with it.
@@fificore You don't have to. Its simply reality and fact. Men lead "because" they WANT to. Women follow because they WANT to. After hundreds of thousands of years, we have evolved like 99% of all other mammals, physically and mentally to maintain that order (men have more testosterone and thus are bigger and stronger and more physically capable, whilst women have more estrogen and thus are smaller, weaker and more nurturing). Thinking differently can't change that no matter how hard one tries. In fact, civilised society WILL fail and people will start dying if its forced differently.
@@fredsas12: Well, White people had guns when they began enslaving Black people. They were stronger in this way. They also thought civilization would fail if slaves were freed.
How come people can say such things about women but don't dare to say it about any other group?
Feminist?
I bet Ymir from aot is an isfj
Literally entp. That christa chick that becomes the queen is an isfj.
@@aladdout9454 no I meant the Ymir founding titan not the Ymir jaw titan.Christa personally I think is an esfj but yeah xsfj.
fun fact, Ymir the Jaw is an ISTP
@@IndyLaLune sure
Yeah she is an isfj indeed
Bro u have the cringiest intros ever. Get good
*"Women were made for men". By who? Why? No.*
God from The bible . (First Corinthians chapter 11 verse 6) : For if a woman does not cover her head, she might as well have her hair cut off; but if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, then she should cover her head.
A man ought not to cover his head,since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.
@@dovio832: Well, that's a load of BS. God sounds like a man.
Religion and agenda. Be grateful though that people tell you that right away so you can tell they're crazy and get away from them before its too late. Doesn't change the fact that women birth everyone. In hinduism, one is not better than the other and both are important.
@@aladdout9454 In Hinduism the most powerful God is male or female? 🤔
@@honor9lite1337 male and yet he doesnt say misogynistic crap😁
Wait so all this time i thought my isfj crush understand my silent 🥲