Tbh I did not think that I was this stereotype but recently I stopped playing video games back in March thanks to you. I joined a coding bootcamp and the time spend coding does feel a lot more fulfilling than all those hours wasted playing video games and watching tv. We have to esteem ourselves everyday. Thanks man for changing my direction in life.
At least you can get paid for coding but it takes a lot of hours to learn to be any good (so I learned a bit and gave up for the time being). Did not do so well in the boot camp (so maybe not an INTP)
@@louisejoel I know what you mean, I tried cs in school and I enjoyed it but could not get through all the math preques. So that is why the bootcamp was helpful because I needed motivation to code becasue I learned that I am not good on studying on my own accord.
You can still play video games but only in moderation after you done everything else you needed to do. Have it as a reward for your hard work to unwind and enjoy your favorite game.
Rule #1 24:38 Ask them what they think and tell they why you disagree with them if you do with facts. Force input down their throats. Rule #2 27:38 Help them learn to become more desirable to you in different ways. Tell them directly what you want and why. Rule #3 32:10 Do not enable their comfort zone. Stimulate variety upon them. New experiences and exploration as ritual. Rule #4 35:00 Be very accepting of them but don't enable them Rule #5 40:59 Give them well researched input. Let them review your thinking. Rule #6 45:10 Don't try to motivate them. Don't give them choices. Just tell them what you want. Rule #7 48:07 Help your INTP leave a good impression and be more presentable Rule #8 51:30 Do not ask them what they value Books: Rational male vol 5 for social skills.
@@otonashishiroushuuya4241 eh honestly as an “INTP” reading this, it’s not worth the bother if I had to do this for someone. Better to get over yourself if you want someone. It’s a lonely, but necessary road.
@@cyex4311 As an "INFP", some of my weak spots naturally play into these. Ex: on my own, I struggle with forming coherent logical arguments for ethical positions, so I made it a personal goal to study argumentation. It's still very difficult for me to evaluate myself even after writing it out, so having an INTP review it (rule 5) would be super helpful and appreciated. Hopefully a win/win for both of us.
@@marshclem2255 We also don’t fall into the trap of celebrity and hero worship that other types fall for; and more often than not that mindset manifest in our own partners. I’m an INTP married to an INTJ.
Wow, as an ENTJ, I do these things naturally; I need someone to go over my cognitive process. I am naturally motivated, have a purpose, and push individuals beyond their comfort zone. I frequently give advice to others; in this situation, an INTP might increase their attractiveness by being open about what I wants and reasons behind it. I'm not sure if my perspective is based on well-researched data, but it is usually founded on facts and objective reality. It's fascinating how the golden pair works; I can be myself while simultaneously helping others.
@@jinangouchidaRomantically? To my observations that’s a big no-no no matter the sexuality combination. Too domineering when the type needs or is more suited a more tame partner.
Well according to CS Joseph I’m pretty mature for an INTP. All I did throughout high school was just play video games I never socialized wit friends outside the classroom but when I went to college I decided not to bring my Xbox which forced me to go out and socialize with people. I’m 27 now and I’m pretty much never home, I’m usually out doing stuff with people I just bought a guitar so for the time I am home I have something to do cause I really don’t like the idea of just laying in bed browsing the internet for hours (even though that still happens, particularly in the mornings). I will also say it’s not easy constantly being out and socializing people even though I’ve had this lifestyle for like 10 years. There a part of my mind that’s begging me to ghost everyone and just lock myself in my room for days, but I tell myself it’s better for me to be with people learning new things and gaining new experiences. So I think CS Joseph is on to something here if you’re going through this lifestyle and I will say it’s not easy to stop but you really can do it, the biggest step I think is to convince yourself why you need a change.
So basically INTPs need someone who will train them to become a more valuable person through various inspirations and exposures coupled with clear and simple requests, which will give them a sense of meaning and a set of priorities to follow. At the same time, they like their intelligence to be valued and their true self to be accepted. This is so on point because that is exactly what I look for and expect in a relationship. (And maybe that is why so many of my crushes have been professors/teachers). I guess as an act of love this is how I will treat myself from now on
As a female INTP and a sapiosexual my very first crush was a male substitute. The kid sitting beside me noticed it and winded up blushing, as I did not like to advertise my crushes. Lol
I’m an infp and in love with my intp man 🥰 we’re a good couple. I have to communicate clearly and he meets me with compassion yet also pushes me in ways I need to grow and I’m a mature infp and appreciate truth and feedback and directness. Intps are the kinds of people that will tell you your outfit is not flattering on you and I as an infp will still gasp on the inside lol but be SO thankful that now I know to wear a different outfit or try a different style. I as an infp treasure authenticity and and you are secure in yourself and know your partner loves you then it’s a treasure. The pants went to goodwill that will flatter another body style 😂😊
I can tell you that as an INTP woman, I had an extremely difficult time find a mate, and almost all my relationships ended up in a disaster, or winded have a very bad heart break
Yup, intp can be so nice, avoiding conflict and this deep care we have for the person makes us give and forgive the person over and over unlike the stereotype
My predictions before watching: 1. Always ask them what they think, they basically live to think about things 2. If they have experience in some area, always consider their warnings in said area and what they have to say 3. Always give them a good experience/make them comfortable 4. Give them feedback on everything they do, good or bad, so you don't leave them in the dark and make them guess what you did and didn't like, setting them up for failure 5. Always explain your reasoning 6. Share your passions and your stories about things you are extremely interested in so that they can figure out if they are also interested in it 7. Teach them the how, such as skills in mechanical areas so they don't have to fail 1000 times before they figure it out, since they suck at figuring it out on their own 8. Don't make it about how they feel, make it about what is true and what is false
As an INTP 38 yr old woman that never lived in anyone’s basement, was always independent and at least physically desirable I can say the following. If a man does not challenge me, it is incredibly boring, insulting even. There is a fine line between challenging and demeaning of course. The demeaning is usually bringing in subjective matters, easy to catch. But also, now this might not apply so much to the Western world , but I live in Eastern Europe…men expected me to accept being dominated. So this receiving feedback is great, but practically can go very easily into this power struggle, where always the contentious and sweared at part of me was my mind. There is a kind of expectation here that the man is not only stronger physically, but mentally as well. On the clothing aspect. I think INTPs need to be tricked into that if women. I have been told very directly, but again in tones of comparisons and kind of demeaning that I should wear this or that or even taken directly to shopping. I was always clean, neat, look good too, but my fashion style always geared towards more comfortable business casual. In this part of the world you are supposed to dress up like a billboard model to be “normal”. I rejected that with my whole being. However, a couple of years ago I learnt how to pair colours, how to choose shapes, styles, even the natural make-up I wear, scientifically. Paid for such a course & there’s a supportive non-judgemental community as well. By now I know more about these things than most. But, it had to come from inside, inner acceptance, inner drive for growth, inner drive to try something new. Interestingly, these were all possible because of my systemic “failures” in relationships. I hope my comment helps because you know hashtag obsessed with helping 😅
Great video, Chase. I'm raising a 12 year old male INTP. This lecture was handy, altho some of the info I got from the 'how to parent...' He has an ESFP little brother (7.5 years old) who helps him (me too, ENFP!) choose clothes. They get on so well, actually and I feel blessed they have each other. yes, the comfort zone is real. I have to engineer his social life, but we have him in scouts, drama club. honestly, how I would parent him without learning his type - and your content- I don't know. He is brilliant, yet so caring. He seems so soft and affable, but that Ti pride is real! My dad and one of my brother's are also INTPs. They are amazing.
My husband is an intp and I'm an isfj. Not the best compatibility and I've been waiting for this episode because of it. I want to understand how to love him the best way I can. It's a huge struggle sometimes but I can't deny that we've grown so much for the better as people. He's such a good man and he's so good to me. Thank you Chase for this series and for everything you do overall. I've felt like I've had to deconstruct myself and build myself up from the ground up again because of you. But as you say, I can endure anything and become stronger. Thank you.
please do listen to your Se nemesis and force it on him 😄, and don't over feed your cat, or intp husband. it's a metephor... never mind, I know you get it...
Yes as an INTP myself, I have had one ISFJ bf that winded up in a disaster and winded up breaking off with me because he just couldn’t understand me and not move past my eccentricity
My wife and I are also ISFJ and INTP respectively. I'd like to hear your input about how you view your relationship with your INTP husband, so I could try understand my wife a bit more and help us find ways around the conflicts. What are some key parts in your values and day-to-day life that you had to find solutions to? For example, I have hard time handling ISFJ's importance of duty and emphasis on the correct methods of how she does things, which in return gets pressured towards me when I have my own methods that work, but are seen as sub-par because they're not how she does them. In return I could help you if you have questions about how your INTP husband functions or if there's some practical thing we've figured out I can help with.
@@GottaStayClassy Our situation is probably different from most since we didn't start living together until we married. First year was difficult because we really started to see our differences and questioned if we had made a mistake. But before we got married, I made it very clear that I don't believe in divorce only for a few serious exceptions. He didnt know how to answer what he valued so I talked about my values and expectations and promises laid out on the table. When we argued or miscommunicated I felt it was my duty to fix our issues because my marriage being a failure was not an option. I stumbled upon Jungian psychology and first thing I did was accept the way he is as an INTP. The things he did I found annoying weren't from malicious intent. I really had to humble myself, take a step back and be really open minded. I suggest you show your wife INTP videos if she really wants to get to deeply know you better because it is her duty as a wife to make her husband happy and have peace for everyone in your home. In turn, put in the effort to understand her as well and make sure she knows that. Second thing was being really patient and becoming a good listener. I would say this is the most important thing besides accepting my husband's nature. If he makes the house a little messy or gets distracted easily it's not the end of the world. There are worst things going on in the world, I recognize I can be too uptight. I listen to what he has to say. If I disagree I give him my input, my overall opinion, why, and let him think about it. I suggest to your wife that saying things like "I feel like it's the right way." Or "I've always done it this way" are not good enough answers. They're meaningless to an INTP. I would like things done my way too because it makes me feel comfortable but really at the end of the day I put my ego aside and it really isn't a big deal. Your methods of how you do things may be confusing and strange to her but if it works for you and the end results are the same, she shouldn't get too caught up in it and look down on it. Third thing was realizing that we both got comfortable in our routines regardless of how busy he was. I'm a stay at home wife, very easy for things to become boring. Both of us are the types to prefer receiving experiences but I took initiative and made reservations and scheduled new places for us to visit. We really bonded over those new experiences. I also take most initiative in the bedroom, I seriously highly recommend being intimate as much as possible. Bedroom should be a judgment free zone and that has really increased our bond. I find that the energy and effort I give in the relationship, he mirrors. And if I slack off, so does he. It can be difficult some days but the struggle and sacrifice is worth it in my opinion because my marriage is everything to me and we both find purpose in it. I hope this somewhat helps answer your question a bit.
I am watching this because my bf is a INTP. It’s hard to encourage him to make those necessary changes in his life; watching this and seeing that as an INFP I’m doing it wrong. Thanks for this^^
Thank you, Chase! I am a 46yo INTP male. I have had to overcome a lot of what you talk about. I've found that setting boundaries with others has really helped me overcome my issues with covert contracts. I've struggled with severe intimacy issues in the past that led to a super hedonistic lifestyle. I am single these days and looking for a partner who I can grow with further.
You perfectly laid out why I don't want a relationship. People feeling entitled to manipulate others out of "love" . I have no interest in worming myself into someone's life so I can change them to how I see fit. Human beings are annoying even when they think they mean well. No one can be trusted.
I do not know why you dont have more followers. I can tell you I have seen your words quoted every where I go to read. Your knowledge as always, very impressive. You are having a huge impact and I thank you for putting your knowledge on youtube. an intp P.S. you have changed my meek serotonin seeking existence to a fully realized intp having a life. Prayers for you and yours and your continued thirst for knowledge and willingness to share that knowledge.
My boyfriend is an INTP. I am ENFP. He is the love of my life. I knew some of these ways to love him, but something I needed to learn was the one about not giving too many options. And, putting that together with the rest of this, I see that I am probably behaving in a way that appears apathetic. And we are causing apathy in each other. Being direct and not giving options is going to be a challenge for my Ne hero but I’m going to practice. Thank you.
Infp here that’s the takeaway I needed as well. We feel options are a way of being considerate because like to think about what we feel like in the moment… but they just need to know the info lol I’m applying this from now on. It feels kinda bossy and a little dangerous because I like being bossy lol but I respect his decisions so this will be fun to implement
I was actually an attractive INTP female and was never overweight what-so-ever, but I still had so had such difficult time finding meaningful relationships with mean before I met my INTJ husband. I would often get dumped and many guy would just find time to be either too weird, or too intense. It also seemed like no guy could satisfy me holistically (intellectually, emotionally and sexually), but would only satisfy me sexually.
THIS. All of this. I am a fairly attractive INTP female (I’ve been told by others…). This wasn’t always the case lol because I always dressed weirdly. Once I learned how to be feminine, I attracted people - however, my mind remained unfulfilled. I didn’t want people to be with me because of how I look, I want them to respect me for my mind and engage me. I’ve been told my intelligence is intimidating, so I end up hiding my mind and thoughts. I am loved and appreciated by friends and coworkers, but romantic relationships have unfortunately just not worked out.
@@bingandbonga I have an intp crush with the same life experiences. She's very pretty and does modeling because it's easy money. I am an intj. We met online and have been talking for a while now. But she's soo indecisive! I don't even know how to compliment her or flirt. Any tips?
@@gouthambolt You don’t need to flirt with her. Engage her in intellectual discourse. Find out what topics set her brain on fire, and bring out the real person hiding inside. If you want to compliment her, focus your compliments on her mind and skills, and her qualities. Remember the smallest details about her and tie them back into conversations later.
@@RNurse787 just be you. Don’t try to act a certain way or be a certain way. Keep conversation mentally engaging. The mind is the way to an INTP’s heart. Don’t expect physical interaction. Be direct if you want to hold her hand or something, ask for permission, then go for it. Be respectful and have fun. Good luck!
@@RNurse787 you could ask her if you want. Only push the topic if she sounds interested in knowing more. In general, asking questions about the other person is a good way to keep conversations going, like, “What are you passionate about?” I always look for depth in thinking on dates. I would love it if someone asked me the above question or asked me. “What gives meaning to your life?” Small talk and fluffy shit is annoying. If you truly think she is INTP, skip the uncomfortable small talk and ask her mentally stimulating questions instead. Let her ask you about you.
I am an ESFP female married to an INTP male and our relationship is great. But I never hear much about ESFPs getting with INTPs, when I think they are a very good pairing. Never has anyone understood me so well in my life.
Do u guys face any problems after marriage? Is it possible to make a detailed video or comment also fine? I agree that all the problems stated in this video are about golden & silver pair not the bronze pair, which is my favourite pair. @Sarah Dehler
@@Amrrkevinthis is my happiest years in my life with him. Before I had really not the best relationships. We are not married yet bur planning it. I usually never can imagine marrige wirh someone before. I do originally this things with him on my own which csjoseph said. So we have not at all problems and everything is calm and fun and warm with love. Its hard to describe but I would be happy if he will make video about it.
I'm an INFJ who is in a relationship with an INTP woman. This lecture made me see a lot of stuff from multiple perspectives, things I would've never thought about it due to their poor social skills and my poor way of nurturing my INTP woman's desires and mind which after watching this lecture turned out that I share tons of faults with her. Still, it was so hard to deal with the shallowness and negativity of her attitude to even have a glimpse of what you said, so I guess I better study the notes I wrote from this lecture and share it with her so we can fix our misunderstandings. Thank you so much, I hope to apply what you said and turn her life into a better one so thanks again for the insight.
Hey Chase, an INTP here. I commented a year ago when I first heard this video. I was working a minimum wage job I did not like, lived at home with my folks and had not idea what to do in life. Now I stopped watching anime and games for now, finished my coding bootcamp, got my AA and will be graduating next march. I will be applying for a masters program next year for most likely human centered design and engineering. Thanks again for your help Chase, you changed my life direction. Keep up the hard work, you're changing lives.
It’s interesting listening to this. My mind keeps going back to the thought of ideal pairings. My BF and I are an INTP and an INFP. We both have lots of life experiences that allow us to have careers and explore variety. I am an art teacher (INFP) and he is a Product Photographer (INTP). I think we maintain a healthy and fun relationship. I’ll also add that we are both under the age of 30 and love the arts. In my opinion I feel like it is totally fine to be with any type as long as two people are emotionally intelligent enough to know their issues and are willing to work on them. But then again, who knows. I’m only 26 lol. Anyways, these videos are so helpful. Thank you for putting your wise content out there. I have appreciated it for a long time now.
my parents are INTP (dad) INFP (mum). they've shared 50 happy years together and had 9 kids. It can work really well. maybe hired an Se user to clean/decorate the house tho... our home was always really messy growing up...
I’m an infp and I adore my intp man!!!! We click and I am a mature infp so I can be technical and things and he has grown and understands emotional intelligence well. We truly adore eachother and I APPRECIATE his directness because I hate fakeness. But I have thicker skin so it doesn’t hurt my feelings. And if I’m emotional I just outline the process and why and he completely understands that way and can see my point of view and is able to comfort me and see it. He’s so sweet. I adore him. INFJs were too bipolar for me even though we were good friends. INTP makes me happy ❤
Thank you for this video Chase! As an INTP I don't have someone to give this to me, but maybe I can give this kinda love to myself! But man I wish I watched this video sooner, so I could've articulated better about this paranoia about other people having false assumptions about me to my INFJ friend ( who came up with all these kinds of wrong assumptions about me) before I had cut him off completely;;;; Thank you again as always, all these years watching your vids, I believed they made me a little better as a human being.
In my experience, you are just better off alone as an intp. the way we want to be loved inrelashionships is the way others want to be loved and vice versa. Even when In a relationship with a fellow intp what ends up happening is due to the nature of relationships you will see both parties putting in more effort than they are getting out especially as a dude.
@@creeperkingdom3190 "the way we want to be loved inrelashionships is the way others want to be loved" well, I doubt rule 6 applies to, say, ESFPs. INTP with INTP is terrible compatibility anyway.
@@user-uq9oe7sc5m I think auto correct missed me up in that comment. I meant the way we want to be loved is not the same as the way others want to be loved.
@@creeperkingdom3190 I get what you mean man, esp about relationships and how people tend to give more than what we receive. But I think this is the whole point for this series, so we could love other people much more effectively and in the end struggle less. And maybe get love back because we've taken care of other people well enough. I don't think being alone is the right way to do it especially for INTPs
As an INTP female, I think I should learn these rules for myself and teach them to myself. I don't think anyone will be interested in helping me even my husband. Actually, I was better in following these rules when I was not in a relationship, especially that I'm now a stayed at home pregnant wife.
Wow I needed this dose of reality medicine. Thank You as an Intp female I need more work in fashion, being a better conversationalist, taking better care of my body and making better first impressions. I need to change. I have been so focused on other things that I think are more meaningful and have neglected key items that will open more doors of opportunity. Truth is hard but Thank You….
Well said! I’m an INTP married to an ENFJ and you’re right that both must be humble enough to learn from the other. Communication and understanding is key! I feel for your ISTP mother. My mother would often ask for my advice and do the exact opposite, especially concerning my chosen field. Incredibly infuriating.
@@00Klingon If you don't mind, can I ask you some questions about your marriage with your ENFJ? I feel very intrigue about the dynamic and your point of view as an INTP :)
@@00Klingon Thank you so much! In what ways do INTPs feel appreciated? What are the needs of Fe inferior other than “feeling accepted?” What do you think about Te demon of an ENFJ and the low capability to listen? What should I do when my INTP is not willing to listen to me? As I said previously, I don’t have enough rationale to back up my inferior Ti. Sometimes my INTP sees it as me being ignorant when the reality of the situation is that I come to conclusions without noticing what I was reading/absorbing. How can I make my INTP voice out his ideas/thinking? I can’t read other people thoughts like NTJs and sometimes I feel like my INTP expects me to know his processes to things but he just doesn’t take the time to explain himself. I feel like his Te nemesis automatically assumes that I’m not intelligent enough to understand him. It stresses me a lot as it hits my inferior Ti. Also, he has a serious problem with gluttony when it comes to food and I am very concern about his future health. How do I manage his unhealthy habits? I know I can’t change him but at the same time it makes me feel like it’s not ok to just let him be. Is there something I can do to make him notice that maybe he is exceeding the limit?
@@JR-ow8xg For myself, I appreciate having my ideas validated, my accomplishments and achievements recognized for sure. Even the small things. The danger here is, I need to hear honesty with the praise. If it's not deserved, I don't want to be spoiled or enabled. I can take harsh truths if necessary. As for Te demon, it can be the most frustrating thing to deal with and a large source of conflict in my relationship. I don't like being silenced, even if deserved (as you can probably relate) and it can make me feel misunderstood at times. Communication is absolutely key here. We both understand MBTI function stacks so we can sometimes shortcut these discussions by explaining what is happening. An example of my Te nemesis providing constructive criticism in a genuine attempt to help gets interpreted as an insult to her Ti inferior. Dealing with that can feel like walking on eggshells. This is something that takes maturity and honesty for both of us and lots of discussion to help both people better understand each other. When you don't feel like your INTP is listening to you, that can be frustrating for sure. Se trickster can cause us to tune out and not pay attention even when we are trying, but Te nemesis can also be a problem, especially if we don't feel respected ourselves, we can start to lose respect for others. If you're having a disagreement about facts, it's always a good idea to research the topic well so that you can speak with some authority. Be willing to accept when you may be wrong about something or he points out something you haven't considered. Please don't take that personally, but its good to take those moments to further your own understanding about the subject and if you do further research and discover you were right, come back later and point out the new information. This should be a process of give and take and you will both learn. Don't be afraid to question his own assertions. If you don't understand some point he is making, probe him to try to understand. You may just discover areas of his own knowledge that he hasn't fleshed out yet and he will also grow stronger for it. You don't have to 'win' every argument, sometimes you just need to expose a few chinks in the armor. This is a process of growth, not of one being superior to the other. Just keep asking your INTP informative seeking questions about everything he says and his interests. Show you are interested in what he is thinking about and he may come to trust you as a sounding board to help him better understand his own thoughts too. Don't sell yourself short, you will learn. Showing an interest in learning goes a LONG ways with Te nemesis. When it comes to gluttony, this is a real problem for Si child. He may rationalize many reasons for not changing his habits. He will need incontrovertible proof. Demonstrate to him all the ways others who live like him have ended up. If he has poor blood work or other warning signs from his doctor, you will want to remind him of this and show him how this is bad for his future. He may need scared straight as it were. Offer to be more physically active with him. Invite him to go on walks with you or encourage him to do physical activities with friends. Make it a positive experience. Going on strenuous walks is the perfect time to ask him questions about what is on his mind and is important to him. He may come to enjoy the activity while stimulating his brain. If you do the cooking, start making good nutritional changes to his diet. Don't ask him, just do it. Limit portion sizes too. Use smaller plates so the portions look larger. He will likely complain, but just be assertive that you are doing it for him and his own good. You are the Ni user, tell him what you want. Don't enable his habits. Find healthy snacks you can offer him if he complains that dinner isn't satisfying. If you do the grocery shopping, stop buying unhealthy snacks. Make him work to get them if he insists. All the while, keep it framed as your concern for his well being, that you want to keep him around for a long time. Hopefully he will appreciate this. Ideally you want him to come to the conclusions to better himself, but if not, use his inherent laziness against him. If he wants it, make him get it. Don't give in to enabling him. Do all this together as a shared thing. Don't make this just about him. You are both in this together and share in the victories of any weight loss. -Sorry for the long edit, YT submitted before I was ready by my mistake.
I’m an INTP female and have been following you for 6 or 7 years. Your knowledge has changed my life. Relationships are still a problem… I’m almost 35; was married to an ESTJ which ended (in hindsight, shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place). Earlier this year I met an INFJ man and we fell in love with each other. Then just like that he left, because of some traumatic stuff I was dealing with, and his past trauma and his inability to handle “emotional dysregulation” (his words), so yeah, I’m trying to figure out how other INTPs learned to install a regulator/fine tuner for the on/off feeling switch.
one of the saddest things honestly...two people both facing traumas so they choose to leave. I'm not sure if i can say either choice is better than the other one(to leave or not to leave?) but i sure do hope people stop giving up on future due to their past. Good luck to you, dont give up!
I don't believe there is ever an instance that it is another person's fault to someone's personal failure. EVER. Each person is solely responsible for their own personal growth. Other than that point of disagreement, it was great and informative content.
Now as an INTP woman I have always had with my INTJ husband, was that he always has so many difficulties appreciating everything I would to, would consistently say “no” whenever I asked for something, and tended to be very controlling. It was not after 6-7 years I’d counselling that my INTJ hubby learned to take things less seriously and treat me with more expect and stop taking advantage of me
You rarley hear the voice of an outside perspective that is guiding you home, and not off the cliff. Yeah, the journey for a better life can lead through sharp grounds, but the pain of progression is better then the comfort of stagnation. A tough video for me to watch tbh, but thanks alot! A video for INTP's to learn how to love themselves, imo.
I actually recall that I absolutely loved it when my INTJ hubby had introduced me to rock climbing and his fantasy books; but I just couldn’t get him into my INTP world! I couldn’t get him into philosophy, physics, my science fiction books, theology, and so on!
My biggest weakness in love is how detached I was/am in the heat of passion. It makes it hard to enjoy physical passion. I don’t know why time like that I’d feel so detached. I am not cold but I just can’t abandon thinking to lose myself in the bedroom. Guess what, guys know. There’s no faking it.
Thank you so much for that video! I got into really chill INFP-INTP relationship with both of us sitting in comfort zone. Me due to depression and not knowing better and him.. being an INTP, haha. I never blamed him for apathy cause well.. I'm sad and apathetic one on my own, what Right do I have to judge him? Right now I'm getting uprising with being done being useless potat, and I was kinda shocked when I did my first steps he actually supported me! And even took the leading in things I am less experienced than him. I really, really don't want to sit in a pit I did before, and I am glad to have someone beside me to get outta there. I will keep all of these rules to my heart!
Same here, INFP in a relationship with an INTP. Whereas I started psychoanalysis 2 yrs ago and started getting my shit together, my man is the one who is stubborn to grow. Yeah he is very proud of me but he just goes back to his comfort zone. And I’m kinda done with it, I started throwing hints at him, trying to involve him more into his own share of the family chores…only to hear him say “Washing dishes is a woman’s job, it’s embarrassing for me to do it”. I feel kinda pissed because I was always so accomodating, and stuff like this just flew under my radar. I just want the slightest hint of collaboration from him…
@@aquarius2284 are u sure of him as INTP though? My partner doesn't even think of social roles and principles.. he always does what needs to be done, but his issue is not willing to accept that things need to be done, buuuut place we are in is terrible, so we both are trying our best to grow out of comfort zone and move on
I just got out of a friendship with an intp male that I wanted a romantic relationship with. I'm an intj girl. My problem was simple, I know him since we were kids. Recently we get in touch, but I spend one year of my life trying to meet him in person, I live far away from him and my parents wouldn't let me, but I offered him to do whatever it takes. He left me waiting, never took a risk for me, just draining the good vibes, support and love out of me. Till I realized it was no worthy of my time, effort, energy, even though he said he wanted me too. I expressed my thinking with evidence, challenged his thoughts, but maybe I failed making him more desirable and accepting his bad behavior towards me for so long. So I've learned one lesson out of this, ty from Mexico, always providing helpful info.
I hope this helps but I'd like to point out that forcing an INTP (even for their own good) generally won't go so well. Rebellion will result. Some additional points to add to each: Rule 1: Be a sounding board for ideas, even the half-baked ones. Ask lots of questions and don't be afraid to push back. This will be appreciated and help to make stronger ideas and understandings. Rule 2: An INTP should always be learning. They will become mentally stronger, more successful and happier for it. Rule 3: Healthy routines are good, unhealthy routines need interrupted. Rule 4: We need validation, not coddling. Give us harsh truth if necessary. Rule 5: Critiques are not insults, it's our way of helping. Rule 6: Be direct and explicit with expectations of INTP, Ne needs choice but too much choice can lead to indecision. If you're an Ni user, give one or two options you can live with. Ne is great at presenting you with options, not so good with making final decisions. If an INTP is struggling to want something that is good for them, push them to go for it. Rule 7: Be patient and come up with alternative forms of communication if we struggle to hear you even if we look like we're listening. Rule 8: When an INTP finds meaning in life, they can be a force to be reckoned with. Woe to any who get in their way.
ENFP female in a relationship with a well adjusted INTP man. I am fascinated by his mind, and while we come at the world from opposing perspectives, our core values line up beautifully. It's nice to be with someone who brings balance and challenge.
@@neptunejoo can confirm I'm good with numbers. Not in a humanity field but i love love love psychology n feel like i may have messed up not choosing it.
@@aladdout9454 i am okay to add another INFJ friend on my list if you are interested too 😊 What are you looking for anyway? Another INFJ? When two INFJs meet they can have camaraderie relationship. Also they can be apathetic to each other. Or they will play the social game. So yeah, what outcome do you want?
@@neptunejoo 😂 I'd love to have another into friend. My childhood one, we r still friends but due to distance we dont interact much. We had so much fun tho. Yeah i kinda know 2 infj males(maybe 3?) and seems like it's apathetic. Online it seems pretty good though, but i can sense one of them trying to correct me all the time(enfp focused imo). But still conversations are good. I dont think it will translate well irl tho. Yeah I'd like to see upclose another infj, itd be funny but weird.
It's interesting I waited a long time for this one and it definitely hit me differently than I thought. I watched it once took notes, and watched it twice to really absorb the information. I see where you are coming from with this series, less about modern love and more about growth and relationship sustainability. In my 20s I think came to terms with dopamine and hedonism, realized my life was going nowhere but self pity and self soothing if I didn't cut my own bs and grow up. After 7 years of self development there was part of me that lacked balance, relationships still really weren't working out. The femininity component for INTP women is incredibly important and tbh should be encouraged consistently and early as possible, not without logic of course but it definitely could help once she is mature enough to actually want to be desired without a latent catch-up effect. On NTJs enabling, that's one is pretty spot on. It blows my mind how these types see themselves as competent ans capable of change but practically encourage stagnation in their partners, especially by choosing crusaders as mates who can be pretty okay naturally just living thier life without constant movement or fuss. Personal example is NTJ men asking why I'm working so much or so hard on something, me knowing that if I don't keep myself sharp I will fall prey to comfort and hedonism, they offer to do my work, not hold me accountable and then get mad I got cozy lecturing me on needed to do more. 😵💫😆 it's bonkers and I do often feel it's their fault if they are resentful about it. Overall though I just love NTJs, but I think we as INTPs get misunderstood very much on what we prioritize, especially since it's not naturally relationships from the onset. I'd definitely rather work on my projects, my art, my studio practice, my work, my old love of video games, and studying philosophy and esoteric traditions along with my research. Where does a meaningful relationship fit in with my true passions and interests? Not sure... buy as I get older I do appreciate the NTJs willing to entangle themselves trying to work with me on this.
I really appreciate this video! I am a 20-year-old female INTP currently in college studying Philosophy and Theology. I would love to be a wife and mom someday, and I would love to work from home, homeschool my kids, etc. I haven’t really met any INTP’s that have gone down this path or other female INTP’s in general… perhaps, it seems atypical for the INTP, especially with stereotypes about NTPs not have feelings, being cold, desiring independence, etc. I like to think that I’m a bit more balanced in my cognitive functions, having grown up in a large family with an array of personality types. :) This video was very helpful in that I am trying to “increase my value” going into future relationships. I’m often discouraged by the fact that I don’t feel like typical “girlfriend” or “wife” material because of my interests. But, I’ve picked up on a lot of the things you’ve said in this video and am especially working on appearing more feminine and learning homemaking skills, like cooking, cleaning, taking care of my body, etc. Emotional stability and being less melancholic is a big struggle for me too… I can have some really bad Fe explosions which leave me feeling embarrassed and frustrated afterward. Anyways, good to know a lot of the areas I might struggle in as a lover too. I think, for me, as a female, the points you made about being able to respect their partner’s thinking REALLY hit home. Especially if I become a wife, I think I’d be putting myself in a really uncomfortable and difficult situation to try to follow the lead of a man that I don’t trust or that I can’t really respect… I’m keeping these things in mind. Again, this video was super, super helpful!
@@youssefshahir8624 You can go to any college/university and see if you can take some of their online course. Also, there are RUclips info videos about philosophy
We have very similar missions, and it's funny we're both INTPs. Jumped onto the site, got INTP course, plus the one that covers all. I never even considered getting anyone's material before I saw yours. I didn't even click on this one, but I've listened to just about the whole thing.
Whenever I am facing a difficult dilema, I ALWAYS ask myself this: what would Evelyn O'Connell (INTP) from The Mummy do in this situation? She's the best damn INTP role model for INTPs like myself.
I haven't actually watched that movie in years, but at times I have wondered whether she could be an ISTJ rather than INTP. Then again, I recall one line where she said "He's a filthy, rude, obnoxious scoundrel; I don't like him one bit," and I somewhat doubt whether someone with Fe trickster would make such comments (long story why I remember verbatim quotes despite not having seen it in years; I won't bore you). Probably doesn't help that I know a handful of ISTJs who are librarians lol
@@knifeyonline She really isn't. Watch the movie again. Like Chase talked on the video she is focused on her "life's pursuit". She is clumsy all the time (like in that library scene), her clothing style is questionable at times, only when she got drunk she spilled her feelings to Rick, she does not care about fancy stuff like ISTJs and ENFPs do, she put the puzzle pieces together with her Ne Parent and figured out the location of the treasured books, she is very apologetic, she has an ESFJ side to her, she doesn't plan stuff out, etc, etc, etc.
Weather modification started around 1959, with cloud seeding with silver iodide, if I remember correct, somewhere around the Texas & New Mexico border over 60 years ago. Weather modification is currently being attempted heavily in Asia. Among all things that produce "the butterfly effect", weather phenomena is high up there... due to the huge amount of variables, multiplied by time.. for example, would a butterfly flapping it's wings in Mongolia today, cause a hurricane next year to turn hours earlier (because of the time expanded extrapolations of every action having a consequence) on it's track & destroy a city, as opposed to hitting an unoccupied swamp. If they drain the clouds in one area... what happens to the area where it would have occurred naturally, what change does that cause in future developing patterns? A helluva lot more than cloud seeding has been studied & is known, but not advertised, over 60+ years. There are a lot more ramifications to these things hardly anyone has heard of, than the release of excess CO2. That's not even mentioning the migration of magnetic poles and manmade phenomena of electromagnetic radiation.
My dad is an INTP and he's a great father but boy he is difficult to get along with. I noticed he has a tendency to be obsessive from his career, work out regime, or any hobby.
im only up to number 4... but i am not sure your advice for INTP females hits the mark.... females ( in general) are socialised to make relationships and partner getting a priority... and as an INTP female - i can tell you that has been my main and longest "special interest" all my life... We are not told so much how to keep them once got - and thats when i tend to let go... along side (as another intp female said here ) getting bored with them since they dont stimulate me long term intellectually emotionally and sexually... i do like it when partners ague with me for the sake of arguing tho... i need that
On cold days, cold plays out like the band's name I know I can't heal things with a handshake You know I can change, as I began saying You cut me wide open like a landscape Open bottles of beer but never champagne To applaud you with the sound that my hands make Should I? Should I? Maybe I'll get drunk again I'll be drunk again I'll be drunk again To feel a little love All by myself I'm here again All by myself You know I'll never change All by myself All by myself I'm just drunk again I'll be drunk again I'll be drunk again To feel a little love - Ed Sheeran
I recently saw an interview with Ed Sheeran and I thought he was an ISFP because Chase mentioned it before but he was dropping truth-bombs left and right totally debunking stuff about musicians and reminded of INTP instantly..do you think he is an INTP as well?
Thank you so much for this video. I'm new to typing and personality stacks. I've learned sho much about myself through your videos. I love your location where this is filmed and live about about 45 minutes away from that lake and resort. Keep up the amazing work and mission. The worlds needs this info.
Also almost all my fellow INTP’s I have interacted with has complained that they’ve cheated on; needless to say that we are perhaps the most loyal out of all other 15 types -even more than the ISTJ and INTJ.
I'm an ISTJ. My daughter is INTP. She doesn't know how to express her feelings and it ends up being a huge melt down inferior Fe style. I have zero ability to respond to that correctly. Maybe logically in real time. But ultimately I am lost on how to make her feel better as my daughter.
She’s not having Fe meltdowns, she is battling Fi demon, which is something her Ti wants to destroy and repress, but Fi is stubbornly trying to help her build identity apart from logic. She may not be mature enough to thoroughly analyze that Fi wants to help her feel her confusing adolescent emotions (Ti hates those, as they are inconvenient and get in the way ;p). Hence the meltdowns - we can only shrug off our emotions for so long before they spill out. It really is a rocky journey for INTP girls - we just do not fit in, and Fe notices how others receive her or maybe even bypass/dismiss her because of her demeanor. She probably thinks there is something wrong with her. Now you, as an ISTJ, have Fi in your top 4 functions. You DO have the ability to help her through her Fi meltdowns. Ask questions - she wants to be valued, not “fixed”. What is making her feel undervalued? Is she lacking genuine connection with others? How does she feel about herself? Low self-esteem? You don’t have to get emotional yourself, just giver her your ISTJ strength. Not to be so generalizing, but the thing with ISTJ’s is they want to fix something with practicality, and look at people struggling with their emotions as “not put together” (y’all have Fe very low on your function stack, so approaching from a caring and emotional angle does not come naturally for the ISTJ). But she needs that, and needs to be reminded of her potential. She needs Fe vibes from you. Otherwise she will feel further ostracized if you simply approach her as if she is a problem that needs fixing. Now if you can’t Fe her, Si her lol. You are Si hero. And INTP’s have Si tertiary. Maybe you can’t comfort her emotionally, but you can treat her to something that makes her happy and in her comfort zone- making her favorite dessert or meal. Arranging a moment just for her with tea, and talk about something stimulating for her, like something she is currently interested in. Take her to lunch and pick her brain or something - INTP’s shine when they get the opportunity to share intellectual insight. Recall memories she might enjoy and watch her light up. But don’t project your way of doing things onto her. Y’all are almost polar opposites. Simply make a connection with the Si and Fi. Just be present. We INTP’s are, objectively, one of the least self-confident types. We can truly become apathetic and hateful when we find we can’t rely on the people who are supposed to be there for us and love us. I would know. It’s taken so long to grow. Remind her she isn’t a burden, and that the human experience is a pain in the ass and she can make it through. I’m sorry to you, though. Truly, a young INTP female is a force to be reckoned with. We can be moody, cold, sometimes self-isolating and condescending. But we are dying inside to just be understood and have value to others. We have a very hard time seeing our potential and keeping a sense of direction.
@@elenawhite88 thank you so much... becasue I truly understand everything you just said. I was doing just that. Trying to use my si to help her. The issue is that I am not as present as I'd like and I'm not doing enough to show her the value she is. She recently was crying... and I'd ask what is wrong and she says I don't know... but I expect you to know and help me. She's right. That's why I reached out here... and this here I knew deep inside and it only reassured me of what I know i need to do. Thank you.💕
@@raquelreyes2011 I still don’t even know how to explain what’s wrong with me when my ISTJ husband asks what’s wrong lol. I can identify the emotions, but explaining where they come from or how to put it in a way where other’s understand is such a struggle, because for us it’s a major build up of a million little things. And there is a solid fear of vulnerability, even around those we love. I always find it easier to write it down. Maybe your daughter likes to write? Do some journaling? Whenever I had heated moments, I’d write it down right away. And when I come back to read them in a “sober” state, it was very clear to me what I was feeling only in hindsight. That would really help her, I think. But hey, you’re here discovering the world of MBTI for you and your daughter’s sake - that’s amazing. Your knowledge and approach is really going to help. I damn near would have sold my soul to know I was “normal” during that part of my life. God bless you
ugh I hate how Se trickster is stereotyped as bad fashion and being clumsy. Makes us sound so fucking stupid. I have a hard time believing anyone can continue being clumsy going into adulthood especially with all the SJs around unless they're unusually lazy and isolated and have no motivation to fix the problem by forcing themselves to be more aware of their surroundings. I agree for Se trickster being that we don't know how we come off.
There are so many stereotypes in this! I’m an intp, men fall in love with me very easily. If it weren’t for my size I’d be married. And I have the issue of giving more than I get back and I hate casual sex.
from the start of the video i was like: 0:20 NO0o we are easy to be with 0:28 Oh... But thanks a lot for this video. I waited too long for it but it was totally worth it
I like it when it my Intp mate ask me for advice . I like his growing mindset. in my previous relationship, I like to take the lead to try on new things and introduce that to people . It is also a way to train up my se inferior. Absolutely agree that we have to have boundaries in a relationship! Not just right from the beginning and then it’s gone.
This episode just explains why my relationship with my ISTP works, he doesn't enable me. I get motivated because he is motivated. And he is good at explaining what he is thinking and what and why they want for themselves and for me.. I guess Ti-Se-Ni-Fe types are just better for me. Te-Ni-Se-Fi can be fun and all, but the enabling is just terrible. Its just too good to be true.
Hahahah Am a lil late to the party Funny you what you mentioned in the last rule! The question about what I value comes up sporadically in my life, but when it does my mind inadvertently goes blank :''')
As an INTP from India, Man you literally helped me getting out of my addictions (smoking weed & smoking in general) and I now consume your content about INTP's soo much over other things in the hopes of it giving me value enough to help me change. I am confident that I can engineer myself to be better & I'm literally on the verge of changing countries to start all over again in my 27 years of existence and I think idk maybe the challenge will transform me into a better person but I still am not confident about getting a Job. I switched my career path, I went from being a pot smoking sound engineer to now a sober student of code trying their hand at Data Analytics/Business Analytics (because that's what I want to do my Master's in another country) and the anxiety that comes with presenting myself with confidence about these things especially about being able to pay student loan of $60k (I know what you're thinking but to have a work visa in US & H1B I'd have to do some Masters & it is pretty expensive) with everything going on around the world. I'm confident though but I still am stuck in this loop of nihilist stagnant phases where I have to push myself hard in a different way to be closer to that. I'm glad I quit weed which was enabling my hedonistic dopamine harakiri of potential & now I'll be attempting to pull the plug on unnecessary social media consumption, Fap and porn AND Working on my diet and exercise regime. Would really like your advice on how can I with my INTJ girlfriend get out of debt and maximise our productivity to achieve more(career, self development, finance etc) & make up for the fact that we wasted our potential? Wouldn't rely on therapy. I value & trust you & your ability to be straight up truthful with me and I think that's better than crying about it at therapy. I hope you see this. Thankyou for putting out this content. Really appreciate and value what you give to the world.
Love the videos man!!! Just a little bit of advice, just to get more recognition/credibility I would make another video explaining the definitions of Ne and Ni (or all cognitive functions) tons of people are so stuck on you saying “seeing into other people future” and think that’s your “definition” of ne. Their bias makes them not consider that you deal mostly relationship behaviors, so this content is relationship focused. I’m an entp myself so it makes sense to me, what you mean, but not everyone can “read between the lines” all the time. Great content tho I’ve learned tons from you.
@@creeperkingdom3190 I understand that but unlike me and you, many people are discrediting him because he said “see into the future” what I’m saying is he needs to clear that up, because he is really taking cognitive functions too the next level but the psychology world is fighting him on this, because he is a entp and the world hates innovation
@@creeperkingdom3190 that’s actually what I’m talking about I’m completely understand where your coming from. In that video he talks about how ne dominant users have the “ability to see into the others future” which is obviously at metaphor, the issue isn’t that he hasn’t ever explained what ne is, and his explanation 100% makes sense. The issue is many people in the psychology community hear that one line,stop there, and instantly discredit him because they think he is just feeding his ego as a entp and his “ability to see others future”. The point I’m making is what cs Joseph is making huge progress with cognitive function, but for him to have his work recognized the psychology community he will need to clear that up. Because most of the psychology community is made up of intj’s dominant 2nd function te (rational thinking) they are so worried that his definition not textbook definition of Carl Jung. Because Te is super worried about citing your sources. And just like a entp myself we always “read between the lines” and talk in metaphors. The point of this comment is I only wish for cbs Joseph success, he is making huge progress in cognitive functions and actually applying it to “real life”. Unfortunately he is going to need the support of the community if he is going to make it over that hurdle and unfortunately the community is made up of a bunch of rationalists, that refuse “outside of the box” thinking.
@@creeperkingdom3190 if you don’t wanna read that whole essay lol. Basically he needs to use some text book definitions because the community in psychology is all te users, or in other words idiots that refuse any information if it is not cited. And a big leap in cognitive function will require their support unfortunately
Thank you for this. I now understand alot more about myself and my past marriage. I am totally in a rutt. And Iove it. But for the sake of my family I should do other things.
Is it possible to get clarification on what exploration refers to. As an INTP I naturally explore intellectual concepts all the time, I assume then you're referring to either geographical or social exploration? And when you mention priorities, you mention adopting ones oriented towards success, but since we are already naturally focused on purpose and work, I'm not sure what I should be looking to further adpot beyond a relatively functional work life balance for the sake of our partners. I'm unclear on those two points and they seem to be important for our development.
Exploration means to get out of your comfort zone and explore places, people, new food, etc because it helps INTPs realize the reality around them. If it wasn’t because of me my INTP wouldn’t even noticed that our city is actually fun to explore, now he likes to explore different coffee shops and restaurants with me and he is more open to talk with strangers. When it comes to priorities I feel like it is something similar when Te inferior users cherry pick pieces of thoughts from other people but they don’t filter any of it because of Ti demon. Maybe Fe inferiors need to be expose to other people’s values and priorities to filter out which ones should be pick for their lives, I don’t feel it has to be necessarily towards success but at least they will realize which ones are worth taking.
@@JR-ow8xg Thinking about it more, I guess my question is more nuanced than I described, because I've definitely felt the paradoxical discomfort of interfacing with the external world while simultaneously being deeply curious about it all. Luckily, my job has taken me to different places around the world, along with an amazing spouse and friends creating opportunities that I wouldn't have otherwise created on my own. But now, feeling more "normal" or socialized after having done plenty of that, and therefore no longer afraid of going out, I feel confident that I don't personally find a lot of intrinsic value in most of those activities. I prefer to stay home and study various topics, just now out of preference rather than fear. I don't necessarily expect an answer, but my more nuanced question of exploration would be: Must I pull myself away from my intellectual [Ti/Ne] gluttony (which I do in hopes of solving my stagnation [Ni] problem) in order to somehow further develop myself (possibly in some Se manner), or have I simply already resolved my "exploration" needs? Effectively, I wonder the same question about priorities, but the latter part of the question would seem unlikely due to it being associated with my demon function. Maybe some other INTPs can contribute to my line of thinking/questioning =)
@@targetdummie I don't think Ti/Ne intellectual exploration is gluttony. Gluttony would be like shopping, sleeping, watching TV, eating, sex, adrenaline activities, being lazy etc. Yes intellectual stuff is "consumption" but because it's our hero I don't think that's what he's referring to
This was so weird because im an intp male and was previously in a relationship with someone that could have been an intj. I feel they were due to most of the problems that were explained in the video between intjs and intps were problems in the relationship.
i appreciated the walk... it was easier to hear, and at the same time I was like, someone just needs to invite me on walks. My brain is so wrong.. and yes, thank you, this did provide insight.
Eventually, I plan to share this with my wife. I'll have to introduce her to M.B. first though. The acronyms you used would completely lose her. Good stuff. I'll probably introduce a few points myself to her... And, frankly, myself particularly with the exploration stuff. It's really is SOOOOO easy to do the same thing over and over and over. An addictive personality trait is definitely a vice I've noticed in me.
Each rule is exactly spot on and I wish I'd known them 15 years ago but I'm at a point in my life where ANY man I that I consider to be in my life must be self aware and focused on self improvement.
I think this was helpful. Hard to heard, but helpful. Luckily im a Christian so I do know I have purpose other wise I would default to nihilism for sure. I put out constant on my channel for that very reason, but still I consume more then I put out when i have a lot to put out. My husband is a ENTJ and sometimes I wonder when he will find out that im not as great as he thinks. So that thought keeps me from getting too conformable as far as put my self out. Being healthy is another struggle. i eat better then i ever have only because of health demands it if i want a family. Consistency is my biggest problem. It's just takes me a long time for a habit to stick. Either something has to click in my brain, are i have to keep trying until its a habit. Which can take years.
Would you say alot of these struggle for intps in relationships can come from childhood and not experiencing alot of these steps you explained from their parents? Like pushing you out your comfort zone and making you explore whilst giving explanations why instead of just telling you to do it, because that is what is expected of you.
All these steps right here could’ve been written by my evil, abusive, controlling ESFJ brother, describing how he treated me throughout my childhood ,with of course the fig leaf claim that it was because he loved me and wanted to improve me. The only reason I don’t kill him is because I live four states away, and I don’t have any guns that reach that far. Doing these to an INTP is exactly how you make somebody who decides they want no part of the outside world or its people or relationships with them. That was the effect of a childhood being treated like this on me. By all means drive your INTP around, never listen to what they want, constantly undermine their values and beliefs, subject them to an unending storm of chaos, refuse them any comforts or autonomy!
45:20 Intp spends 4 days building up their research, time, thoughts, and process...just before starting the project someone quips how they should do said project today...Intp goes back to bed instead to spend 4 days of research, time, thoughts, and process to tell that person they were going to
For starters the INFJ Ni hero needs to align with our Ti hero, while the former having preference for feeling we need their empathy to understand us and our needs, whilst they help us with our social skills
@@sylviaowega3839 yeah it's the advisor pair so they both will naturally have insight in areas the other misses, though I don't think they will compliment each others stregnths.
Heya csj, been a hot minute since I been on your channel, i took a break from the content for a couple years or so, used to be a big fan, because I just couldn't really figure out if I agree with your theories and whatnot. I really wanna give you a fair shake cause heaven knows I hate assuming the answer, but I also never feel like I'm able to reach that assurance cause your lecture style is like a big never ending bowl of spaghetti. You should make a video about you refuting those who deny the general theory or something, I'd eat that up. No hate intended, best of luck
Damn at first i was like wow i am doing only 2 rules here , no wonder i don't feel that i am contributing to INTP my sister comparing to what she does to me but listening the lecture again i am like okay i am not as bad as i thought it's interesting that my "S" functions are the ones are holding me back to complete all of 8 rules towards my sister , i do lack variety myself so i can't help her with that but the good thing she is recently married to INTJ man and he is not afraid of exploring new things with her and obviously not being boring like me lol anyway definitely took notes from this lecture , it was very useful and I can not wait for INFP "FINALLY", i am waiting for that one because my closet friend i think she is an INFP and that lecture would be an opportunity to verify her type by you talking about the deadly sins and also i would like to see how i am doing towards her since i know i am not unlocking her heart 100%
I don't know what is this fixation on gluttony. My vice is clearly sloth. Because even when I have nothing to consume, I do not become overly productive. Consumption is an excuse not to do stuff you need to do, but not the only one. Nor do I consume more than I produce: I am the most minimalistic person I know, and this is part of Ni critic encouraging me not to desire stupid stuff. As a result, for someone slothful, I have impressive savings. Furthermore, #8 is bad. I value freedom, independence, honesty, consistency, creativity and innovation. Anything that frees human capital, that reduces the work load, that makes things more efficient. Or in other words, capitalism. *The 7 other rules are on point.* Those that do not apply to me currently at least applied at some point. For example, I now recommend everyone sky-dives at least once in their lives, it shatters the perception of your own problems.
@@CSJoseph I did. Your 4 years old video explaining the INTP's 8 cognitive functions was the best I've found. Period. It was the first time I heard from someone else two key elements of my mindset: "Why even bother?" when people don't listen (and basically not liking the "I told you so" part) and the "If I get to do the time, might as well do the crime.". And I REALLY struggle with sloth. Procrastination. Hence why I am confused about "gluttony" as a defining aspect.
Tbh I did not think that I was this stereotype but recently I stopped playing video games back in March thanks to you. I joined a coding bootcamp and the time spend coding does feel a lot more fulfilling than all those hours wasted playing video games and watching tv. We have to esteem ourselves everyday. Thanks man for changing my direction in life.
At least you can get paid for coding but it takes a lot of hours to learn to be any good (so I learned a bit and gave up for the time being). Did not do so well in the boot camp (so maybe not an INTP)
@@louisejoel I know what you mean, I tried cs in school and I enjoyed it but could not get through all the math preques. So that is why the bootcamp was helpful because I needed motivation to code becasue I learned that I am not good on studying on my own accord.
You can still play video games but only in moderation after you done everything else you needed to do. Have it as a reward for your hard work to unwind and enjoy your favorite game.
Rule #1 24:38 Ask them what they think and tell they why you disagree with them if you do with facts. Force input down their throats.
Rule #2 27:38 Help them learn to become more desirable to you in different ways. Tell them directly what you want and why.
Rule #3 32:10 Do not enable their comfort zone. Stimulate variety upon them. New experiences and exploration as ritual.
Rule #4 35:00 Be very accepting of them but don't enable them
Rule #5 40:59 Give them well researched input. Let them review your thinking.
Rule #6 45:10 Don't try to motivate them. Don't give them choices. Just tell them what you want.
Rule #7 48:07 Help your INTP leave a good impression and be more presentable
Rule #8 51:30 Do not ask them what they value
Books: Rational male vol 5 for social skills.
@@otonashishiroushuuya4241 eh honestly as an “INTP” reading this, it’s not worth the bother if I had to do this for someone. Better to get over yourself if you want someone. It’s a lonely, but necessary road.
Why not?
@@cyex4311 As an "INFP", some of my weak spots naturally play into these. Ex: on my own, I struggle with forming coherent logical arguments for ethical positions, so I made it a personal goal to study argumentation. It's still very difficult for me to evaluate myself even after writing it out, so having an INTP review it (rule 5) would be super helpful and appreciated. Hopefully a win/win for both of us.
Thanks you just saved me a headache
Dude, thank you so much for making my life easier! ENTJ from Brazil here.
"I'm in love with the greatest gamer. But he'll always love the game more than he loves me." - Grimes song lyrics about Elon Musk
Really? Lol.
As an INTP, I fucking love this song and Grimes is a queen
@@marshclem2255 We also don’t fall into the trap of celebrity and hero worship that other types fall for; and more often than not that mindset manifest in our own partners. I’m an INTP married to an INTJ.
❤
Wow, as an ENTJ, I do these things naturally; I need someone to go over my cognitive process. I am naturally motivated, have a purpose, and push individuals beyond their comfort zone. I frequently give advice to others; in this situation, an INTP might increase their attractiveness by being open about what I wants and reasons behind it. I'm not sure if my perspective is based on well-researched data, but it is usually founded on facts and objective reality. It's fascinating how the golden pair works; I can be myself while simultaneously helping others.
I''m an entj also do u think entjs match with each other?
@@jinangouchida romantically NO.
@@jinangouchidaRomantically? To my observations that’s a big no-no no matter the sexuality combination. Too domineering when the type needs or is more suited a more tame partner.
@@eyesthrurosecoloredglasses idk but i think we match well
Well according to CS Joseph I’m pretty mature for an INTP. All I did throughout high school was just play video games I never socialized wit friends outside the classroom but when I went to college I decided not to bring my Xbox which forced me to go out and socialize with people.
I’m 27 now and I’m pretty much never home, I’m usually out doing stuff with people I just bought a guitar so for the time I am home I have something to do cause I really don’t like the idea of just laying in bed browsing the internet for hours (even though that still happens, particularly in the mornings).
I will also say it’s not easy constantly being out and socializing people even though I’ve had this lifestyle for like 10 years. There a part of my mind that’s begging me to ghost everyone and just lock myself in my room for days, but I tell myself it’s better for me to be with people learning new things and gaining new experiences. So I think CS Joseph is on to something here if you’re going through this lifestyle and I will say it’s not easy to stop but you really can do it, the biggest step I think is to convince yourself why you need a change.
Teach me your ways master 😆.
I'm also an INTP female, any tips on?
Good on you. I've put myself out there in my past and found that most people are actually hard to be around. INTP and people is like water in oil.
So basically INTPs need someone who will train them to become a more valuable person through various inspirations and exposures coupled with clear and simple requests, which will give them a sense of meaning and a set of priorities to follow. At the same time, they like their intelligence to be valued and their true self to be accepted. This is so on point because that is exactly what I look for and expect in a relationship. (And maybe that is why so many of my crushes have been professors/teachers). I guess as an act of love this is how I will treat myself from now on
yep! Roger all this
As a female INTP and a sapiosexual my very first crush was a male substitute. The kid sitting beside me noticed it and winded up blushing, as I did not like to advertise my crushes. Lol
I’m an infp and in love with my intp man 🥰 we’re a good couple. I have to communicate clearly and he meets me with compassion yet also pushes me in ways I need to grow and I’m a mature infp and appreciate truth and feedback and directness. Intps are the kinds of people that will tell you your outfit is not flattering on you and I as an infp will still gasp on the inside lol but be SO thankful that now I know to wear a different outfit or try a different style. I as an infp treasure authenticity and and you are secure in yourself and know your partner loves you then it’s a treasure. The pants went to goodwill that will flatter another body style 😂😊
I can tell you that as an INTP woman, I had an extremely difficult time find a mate, and almost all my relationships ended up in a disaster, or winded have a very bad heart break
That's because INTPs suck!
Never date!
Never get married!
Die alone!
And don't do your taxes!
Mine too
The hardest thing I learned to achieve as an INTP, especially regarding my hubby was learn not to be so nice, and learning to not give grounds
Yup, intp can be so nice, avoiding conflict and this deep care we have for the person makes us give and forgive the person over and over unlike the stereotype
As an istp I relate
@@aishaadam7473 This is why I identified more as an INFJ but my Fe is much worse than I ever realised
@@louisejoelsaaaame, such a deep feeler but bad at understanding these emotions😂
My predictions before watching:
1. Always ask them what they think, they basically live to think about things
2. If they have experience in some area, always consider their warnings in said area and what they have to say
3. Always give them a good experience/make them comfortable
4. Give them feedback on everything they do, good or bad, so you don't leave them in the dark and make them guess what you did and didn't like, setting them up for failure
5. Always explain your reasoning
6. Share your passions and your stories about things you are extremely interested in so that they can figure out if they are also interested in it
7. Teach them the how, such as skills in mechanical areas so they don't have to fail 1000 times before they figure it out, since they suck at figuring it out on their own
8. Don't make it about how they feel, make it about what is true and what is false
How accurate do you feel your prediction was?
I mean these are mostly things he has said in his other INTP videos.
As an INTP 38 yr old woman that never lived in anyone’s basement, was always independent and at least physically desirable I can say the following.
If a man does not challenge me, it is incredibly boring, insulting even. There is a fine line between challenging and demeaning of course. The demeaning is usually bringing in subjective matters, easy to catch.
But also, now this might not apply so much to the Western world , but I live in Eastern Europe…men expected me to accept being dominated. So this receiving feedback is great, but practically can go very easily into this power struggle, where always the contentious and sweared at part of me was my mind. There is a kind of expectation here that the man is not only stronger physically, but mentally as well.
On the clothing aspect. I think INTPs need to be tricked into that if women. I have been told very directly, but again in tones of comparisons and kind of demeaning that I should wear this or that or even taken directly to shopping. I was always clean, neat, look good too, but my fashion style always geared towards more comfortable business casual. In this part of the world you are supposed to dress up like a billboard model to be “normal”. I rejected that with my whole being. However, a couple of years ago I learnt how to pair colours, how to choose shapes, styles, even the natural make-up I wear, scientifically. Paid for such a course & there’s a supportive non-judgemental community as well. By now I know more about these things than most. But, it had to come from inside, inner acceptance, inner drive for growth, inner drive to try something new. Interestingly, these were all possible because of my systemic “failures” in relationships.
I hope my comment helps because you know hashtag obsessed with helping 😅
Great video, Chase.
I'm raising a 12 year old male INTP. This lecture was handy, altho some of the info I got from the 'how to parent...'
He has an ESFP little brother (7.5 years old) who helps him (me too, ENFP!) choose clothes. They get on so well, actually and I feel blessed they have each other.
yes, the comfort zone is real. I have to engineer his social life, but we have him in scouts, drama club.
honestly, how I would parent him without learning his type - and your content- I don't know.
He is brilliant, yet so caring. He seems so soft and affable, but that Ti pride is real!
My dad and one of my brother's are also INTPs. They are amazing.
Never put anyone in drama club.
My husband is an intp and I'm an isfj. Not the best compatibility and I've been waiting for this episode because of it. I want to understand how to love him the best way I can. It's a huge struggle sometimes but I can't deny that we've grown so much for the better as people. He's such a good man and he's so good to me. Thank you Chase for this series and for everything you do overall. I've felt like I've had to deconstruct myself and build myself up from the ground up again because of you. But as you say, I can endure anything and become stronger. Thank you.
please do listen to your Se nemesis and force it on him 😄, and don't over feed your cat, or intp husband. it's a metephor... never mind, I know you get it...
Yes as an INTP myself, I have had one ISFJ bf that winded up in a disaster and winded up breaking off with me because he just couldn’t understand me and not move past my eccentricity
My wife and I are also ISFJ and INTP respectively. I'd like to hear your input about how you view your relationship with your INTP husband, so I could try understand my wife a bit more and help us find ways around the conflicts. What are some key parts in your values and day-to-day life that you had to find solutions to? For example, I have hard time handling ISFJ's importance of duty and emphasis on the correct methods of how she does things, which in return gets pressured towards me when I have my own methods that work, but are seen as sub-par because they're not how she does them.
In return I could help you if you have questions about how your INTP husband functions or if there's some practical thing we've figured out I can help with.
@@GottaStayClassy Our situation is probably different from most since we didn't start living together until we married. First year was difficult because we really started to see our differences and questioned if we had made a mistake. But before we got married, I made it very clear that I don't believe in divorce only for a few serious exceptions. He didnt know how to answer what he valued so I talked about my values and expectations and promises laid out on the table.
When we argued or miscommunicated I felt it was my duty to fix our issues because my marriage being a failure was not an option. I stumbled upon Jungian psychology and first thing I did was accept the way he is as an INTP. The things he did I found annoying weren't from malicious intent. I really had to humble myself, take a step back and be really open minded. I suggest you show your wife INTP videos if she really wants to get to deeply know you better because it is her duty as a wife to make her husband happy and have peace for everyone in your home. In turn, put in the effort to understand her as well and make sure she knows that.
Second thing was being really patient and becoming a good listener. I would say this is the most important thing besides accepting my husband's nature. If he makes the house a little messy or gets distracted easily it's not the end of the world. There are worst things going on in the world, I recognize I can be too uptight. I listen to what he has to say. If I disagree I give him my input, my overall opinion, why, and let him think about it. I suggest to your wife that saying things like "I feel like it's the right way." Or "I've always done it this way" are not good enough answers. They're meaningless to an INTP. I would like things done my way too because it makes me feel comfortable but really at the end of the day I put my ego aside and it really isn't a big deal. Your methods of how you do things may be confusing and strange to her but if it works for you and the end results are the same, she shouldn't get too caught up in it and look down on it.
Third thing was realizing that we both got comfortable in our routines regardless of how busy he was. I'm a stay at home wife, very easy for things to become boring. Both of us are the types to prefer receiving experiences but I took initiative and made reservations and scheduled new places for us to visit. We really bonded over those new experiences. I also take most initiative in the bedroom, I seriously highly recommend being intimate as much as possible. Bedroom should be a judgment free zone and that has really increased our bond. I find that the energy and effort I give in the relationship, he mirrors. And if I slack off, so does he.
It can be difficult some days but the struggle and sacrifice is worth it in my opinion because my marriage is everything to me and we both find purpose in it.
I hope this somewhat helps answer your question a bit.
I am watching this because my bf is a INTP. It’s hard to encourage him to make those necessary changes in his life; watching this and seeing that as an INFP I’m doing it wrong. Thanks for this^^
Been waiting on this one for while. Thanks Chase.
Thank you, Chase! I am a 46yo INTP male. I have had to overcome a lot of what you talk about. I've found that setting boundaries with others has really helped me overcome my issues with covert contracts. I've struggled with severe intimacy issues in the past that led to a super hedonistic lifestyle. I am single these days and looking for a partner who I can grow with further.
You perfectly laid out why I don't want a relationship. People feeling entitled to manipulate others out of "love" . I have no interest in worming myself into someone's life so I can change them to how I see fit. Human beings are annoying even when they think they mean well. No one can be trusted.
What's your definition of love and what's your definition of relationship?
I do not know why you dont have more followers. I can tell you I have seen your words quoted every where I go to read. Your knowledge as always, very impressive. You are having a huge impact and I thank you for putting your knowledge on youtube.
an intp
P.S. you have changed my meek serotonin seeking existence to a fully realized intp having a life. Prayers for you and yours and your continued thirst for knowledge and willingness to share that knowledge.
My boyfriend is an INTP. I am ENFP. He is the love of my life. I knew some of these ways to love him, but something I needed to learn was the one about not giving too many options. And, putting that together with the rest of this, I see that I am probably behaving in a way that appears apathetic. And we are causing apathy in each other. Being direct and not giving options is going to be a challenge for my Ne hero but I’m going to practice. Thank you.
Infp here that’s the takeaway I needed as well. We feel options are a way of being considerate because like to think about what we feel like in the moment… but they just need to know the info lol I’m applying this from now on. It feels kinda bossy and a little dangerous because I like being bossy lol but I respect his decisions so this will be fun to implement
Shared this with my ENTJ bf and his honest response was "the risks of dating an INTP woman!? I've already signed the paperwork!" 😵😩😆
This is cute
I was actually an attractive INTP female and was never overweight what-so-ever, but I still had so had such difficult time finding meaningful relationships with mean before I met my INTJ husband. I would often get dumped and many guy would just find time to be either too weird, or too intense. It also seemed like no guy could satisfy me holistically (intellectually, emotionally and sexually), but would only satisfy me sexually.
THIS. All of this. I am a fairly attractive INTP female (I’ve been told by others…). This wasn’t always the case lol because I always dressed weirdly. Once I learned how to be feminine, I attracted people - however, my mind remained unfulfilled. I didn’t want people to be with me because of how I look, I want them to respect me for my mind and engage me. I’ve been told my intelligence is intimidating, so I end up hiding my mind and thoughts. I am loved and appreciated by friends and coworkers, but romantic relationships have unfortunately just not worked out.
@@bingandbonga I have an intp crush with the same life experiences. She's very pretty and does modeling because it's easy money. I am an intj. We met online and have been talking for a while now. But she's soo indecisive! I don't even know how to compliment her or flirt. Any tips?
@@gouthambolt You don’t need to flirt with her. Engage her in intellectual discourse. Find out what topics set her brain on fire, and bring out the real person hiding inside. If you want to compliment her, focus your compliments on her mind and skills, and her qualities. Remember the smallest details about her and tie them back into conversations later.
@@RNurse787 just be you. Don’t try to act a certain way or be a certain way. Keep conversation mentally engaging. The mind is the way to an INTP’s heart.
Don’t expect physical interaction. Be direct if you want to hold her hand or something, ask for permission, then go for it.
Be respectful and have fun. Good luck!
@@RNurse787 you could ask her if you want. Only push the topic if she sounds interested in knowing more. In general, asking questions about the other person is a good way to keep conversations going, like, “What are you passionate about?” I always look for depth in thinking on dates. I would love it if someone asked me the above question or asked me. “What gives meaning to your life?”
Small talk and fluffy shit is annoying. If you truly think she is INTP, skip the uncomfortable small talk and ask her mentally stimulating questions instead. Let her ask you about you.
I am an ESFP female married to an INTP male and our relationship is great. But I never hear much about ESFPs getting with INTPs, when I think they are a very good pairing. Never has anyone understood me so well in my life.
Bronze pair
Yes Im in the same situation about intp esfp. I want also video about it!!! 😍 (esfp)
Do u guys face any problems after marriage? Is it possible to make a detailed video or comment also fine?
I agree that all the problems stated in this video are about golden & silver pair not the bronze pair, which is my favourite pair. @Sarah Dehler
@@Amrrkevinthis is my happiest years in my life with him. Before I had really not the best relationships. We are not married yet bur planning it. I usually never can imagine marrige wirh someone before. I do originally this things with him on my own which csjoseph said. So we have not at all problems and everything is calm and fun and warm with love. Its hard to describe but I would be happy if he will make video about it.
I'm an INFJ who is in a relationship with an INTP woman. This lecture made me see a lot of stuff from multiple perspectives, things I would've never thought about it due to their poor social skills and my poor way of nurturing my INTP woman's desires and mind which after watching this lecture turned out that I share tons of faults with her. Still, it was so hard to deal with the shallowness and negativity of her attitude to even have a glimpse of what you said, so I guess I better study the notes I wrote from this lecture and share it with her so we can fix our misunderstandings. Thank you so much, I hope to apply what you said and turn her life into a better one so thanks again for the insight.
This video sounds a hell of a lot more like eight strategies to bully an INTP into being an ENFP.
Hey Chase, an INTP here. I commented a year ago when I first heard this video. I was working a minimum wage job I did not like, lived at home with my folks and had not idea what to do in life. Now I stopped watching anime and games for now, finished my coding bootcamp, got my AA and will be graduating next march. I will be applying for a masters program next year for most likely human centered design and engineering. Thanks again for your help Chase, you changed my life direction. Keep up the hard work, you're changing lives.
It’s interesting listening to this. My mind keeps going back to the thought of ideal pairings. My BF and I are an INTP and an INFP. We both have lots of life experiences that allow us to have careers and explore variety. I am an art teacher (INFP) and he is a Product Photographer (INTP). I think we maintain a healthy and fun relationship. I’ll also add that we are both under the age of 30 and love the arts. In my opinion I feel like it is totally fine to be with any type as long as two people are emotionally intelligent enough to know their issues and are willing to work on them. But then again, who knows. I’m only 26 lol.
Anyways, these videos are so helpful. Thank you for putting your wise content out there. I have appreciated it for a long time now.
my parents are INTP (dad) INFP (mum). they've shared 50 happy years together and had 9 kids. It can work really well.
maybe hired an Se user to clean/decorate the house tho... our home was always really messy growing up...
I’m an infp dating an intp too!
The INFP is in fact an ideal match for us INTP’s.
I’m an infp and I adore my intp man!!!! We click and I am a mature infp so I can be technical and things and he has grown and understands emotional intelligence well. We truly adore eachother and I APPRECIATE his directness because I hate fakeness. But I have thicker skin so it doesn’t hurt my feelings. And if I’m emotional I just outline the process and why and he completely understands that way and can see my point of view and is able to comfort me and see it. He’s so sweet. I adore him. INFJs were too bipolar for me even though we were good friends. INTP makes me happy ❤
Thank you for this video Chase!
As an INTP I don't have someone to give this to me, but maybe I can give this kinda love to myself!
But man I wish I watched this video sooner, so I could've articulated better about this paranoia about other people having false assumptions about me to my INFJ friend ( who came up with all these kinds of wrong assumptions about me) before I had cut him off completely;;;;
Thank you again as always, all these years watching your vids, I believed they made me a little better as a human being.
In my experience, you are just better off alone as an intp. the way we want to be loved inrelashionships is the way others want to be loved and vice versa.
Even when In a relationship with a fellow intp what ends up happening is due to the nature of relationships you will see both parties putting in more effort than they are getting out especially as a dude.
@@creeperkingdom3190 "the way we want to be loved inrelashionships is the way others want to be loved" well, I doubt rule 6 applies to, say, ESFPs.
INTP with INTP is terrible compatibility anyway.
@@user-uq9oe7sc5m I think auto correct missed me up in that comment.
I meant the way we want to be loved is not the same as the way others want to be loved.
@@creeperkingdom3190 It can be a bitch sometimes.
@@creeperkingdom3190 I get what you mean man, esp about relationships and how people tend to give more than what we receive.
But I think this is the whole point for this series, so we could love other people much more effectively and in the end struggle less. And maybe get love back because we've taken care of other people well enough.
I don't think being alone is the right way to do it especially for INTPs
As an INTP female, I think I should learn these rules for myself and teach them to myself. I don't think anyone will be interested in helping me even my husband. Actually, I was better in following these rules when I was not in a relationship, especially that I'm now a stayed at home pregnant wife.
Wow I needed this dose of reality medicine. Thank You as an Intp female I need more work in fashion, being a better conversationalist, taking better care of my body and making better first impressions. I need to change. I have been so focused on other things that I think are more meaningful and have neglected key items that will open more doors of opportunity. Truth is hard but Thank You….
Thank you very much CS Joseph!
Well said! I’m an INTP married to an ENFJ and you’re right that both must be humble enough to learn from the other. Communication and understanding is key! I feel for your ISTP mother. My mother would often ask for my advice and do the exact opposite, especially concerning my chosen field. Incredibly infuriating.
@@00Klingon If you don't mind, can I ask you some questions about your marriage with your ENFJ? I feel very intrigue about the dynamic and your point of view as an INTP :)
@@JR-ow8xg absolutely! I’d be glad to answer questions. :)
@@00Klingon Thank you so much!
In what ways do INTPs feel appreciated? What are the needs of Fe inferior other than “feeling accepted?” What do you think about Te demon of an ENFJ and the low capability to listen?
What should I do when my INTP is not willing to listen to me? As I said previously, I don’t have enough rationale to back up my inferior Ti. Sometimes my INTP sees it as me being ignorant when the reality of the situation is that I come to conclusions without noticing what I was reading/absorbing. How can I make my INTP voice out his ideas/thinking? I can’t read other people thoughts like NTJs and sometimes I feel like my INTP expects me to know his processes to things but he just doesn’t take the time to explain himself. I feel like his Te nemesis automatically assumes that I’m not intelligent enough to understand him. It stresses me a lot as it hits my inferior Ti. Also, he has a serious problem with gluttony when it comes to food and I am very concern about his future health. How do I manage his unhealthy habits? I know I can’t change him but at the same time it makes me feel like it’s not ok to just let him be. Is there something I can do to make him notice that maybe he is exceeding the limit?
@@JR-ow8xg For myself, I appreciate having my ideas validated, my accomplishments and achievements recognized for sure. Even the small things. The danger here is, I need to hear honesty with the praise. If it's not deserved, I don't want to be spoiled or enabled. I can take harsh truths if necessary.
As for Te demon, it can be the most frustrating thing to deal with and a large source of conflict in my relationship. I don't like being silenced, even if deserved (as you can probably relate) and it can make me feel misunderstood at times. Communication is absolutely key here. We both understand MBTI function stacks so we can sometimes shortcut these discussions by explaining what is happening. An example of my Te nemesis providing constructive criticism in a genuine attempt to help gets interpreted as an insult to her Ti inferior. Dealing with that can feel like walking on eggshells. This is something that takes maturity and honesty for both of us and lots of discussion to help both people better understand each other.
When you don't feel like your INTP is listening to you, that can be frustrating for sure. Se trickster can cause us to tune out and not pay attention even when we are trying, but Te nemesis can also be a problem, especially if we don't feel respected ourselves, we can start to lose respect for others. If you're having a disagreement about facts, it's always a good idea to research the topic well so that you can speak with some authority. Be willing to accept when you may be wrong about something or he points out something you haven't considered. Please don't take that personally, but its good to take those moments to further your own understanding about the subject and if you do further research and discover you were right, come back later and point out the new information. This should be a process of give and take and you will both learn. Don't be afraid to question his own assertions. If you don't understand some point he is making, probe him to try to understand. You may just discover areas of his own knowledge that he hasn't fleshed out yet and he will also grow stronger for it. You don't have to 'win' every argument, sometimes you just need to expose a few chinks in the armor. This is a process of growth, not of one being superior to the other. Just keep asking your INTP informative seeking questions about everything he says and his interests. Show you are interested in what he is thinking about and he may come to trust you as a sounding board to help him better understand his own thoughts too. Don't sell yourself short, you will learn. Showing an interest in learning goes a LONG ways with Te nemesis.
When it comes to gluttony, this is a real problem for Si child. He may rationalize many reasons for not changing his habits. He will need incontrovertible proof. Demonstrate to him all the ways others who live like him have ended up. If he has poor blood work or other warning signs from his doctor, you will want to remind him of this and show him how this is bad for his future. He may need scared straight as it were. Offer to be more physically active with him. Invite him to go on walks with you or encourage him to do physical activities with friends. Make it a positive experience. Going on strenuous walks is the perfect time to ask him questions about what is on his mind and is important to him. He may come to enjoy the activity while stimulating his brain.
If you do the cooking, start making good nutritional changes to his diet. Don't ask him, just do it. Limit portion sizes too. Use smaller plates so the portions look larger. He will likely complain, but just be assertive that you are doing it for him and his own good. You are the Ni user, tell him what you want. Don't enable his habits. Find healthy snacks you can offer him if he complains that dinner isn't satisfying. If you do the grocery shopping, stop buying unhealthy snacks. Make him work to get them if he insists. All the while, keep it framed as your concern for his well being, that you want to keep him around for a long time. Hopefully he will appreciate this. Ideally you want him to come to the conclusions to better himself, but if not, use his inherent laziness against him. If he wants it, make him get it. Don't give in to enabling him.
Do all this together as a shared thing. Don't make this just about him. You are both in this together and share in the victories of any weight loss.
-Sorry for the long edit, YT submitted before I was ready by my mistake.
"INTP women: be more feminine, a better woman: submissive, demure, respectful" Jesuuuuuus christ what does this even mean?
I’m an INTP female and have been following you for 6 or 7 years. Your knowledge has changed my life. Relationships are still a problem… I’m almost 35; was married to an ESTJ which ended (in hindsight, shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place). Earlier this year I met an INFJ man and we fell in love with each other. Then just like that he left, because of some traumatic stuff I was dealing with, and his past trauma and his inability to handle “emotional dysregulation” (his words), so yeah, I’m trying to figure out how other INTPs learned to install a regulator/fine tuner for the on/off feeling switch.
one of the saddest things honestly...two people both facing traumas so they choose to leave. I'm not sure if i can say either choice is better than the other one(to leave or not to leave?) but i sure do hope people stop giving up on future due to their past. Good luck to you, dont give up!
@@aladdout9454 thank you. I needed to hear something kind today. I appreciate your words.
You might consider DBT, it was created for people with borderline personality disorder (very emotionally dysregulated) to remain calm and controlled.
I don't believe there is ever an instance that it is another person's fault to someone's personal failure. EVER. Each person is solely responsible for their own personal growth.
Other than that point of disagreement, it was great and informative content.
Now as an INTP woman I have always had with my INTJ husband, was that he always has so many difficulties appreciating everything I would to, would consistently say “no” whenever I asked for something, and tended to be very controlling. It was not after 6-7 years I’d counselling that my INTJ hubby learned to take things less seriously and treat me with more expect and stop taking advantage of me
yikes girl...that sounds like some serious bad stuff
oh wow
@@AndreKochDre I will make the disclaimer that he is an unhealthy INTJ, and not a representative of ALL individuals of this MBTI type.
You rarley hear the voice of an outside perspective that is guiding you home, and not off the cliff. Yeah, the journey for a better life can lead through sharp grounds, but the pain of progression is better then the comfort of stagnation. A tough video for me to watch tbh, but thanks alot! A video for INTP's to learn how to love themselves, imo.
Thank you Chase 🙏 I've been waiting for this one !
I actually recall that I absolutely loved it when my INTJ hubby had introduced me to rock climbing and his fantasy books; but I just couldn’t get him into my INTP world! I couldn’t get him into philosophy, physics, my science fiction books, theology, and so on!
My biggest weakness in love is how detached I was/am in the heat of passion. It makes it hard to enjoy physical passion. I don’t know why time like that I’d feel so detached. I am not cold but I just can’t abandon thinking to lose myself in the bedroom. Guess what, guys know. There’s no faking it.
Thank you so much for that video! I got into really chill INFP-INTP relationship with both of us sitting in comfort zone.
Me due to depression and not knowing better and him.. being an INTP, haha. I never blamed him for apathy cause well.. I'm sad and apathetic one on my own, what Right do I have to judge him?
Right now I'm getting uprising with being done being useless potat, and I was kinda shocked when I did my first steps he actually supported me! And even took the leading in things I am less experienced than him. I really, really don't want to sit in a pit I did before, and I am glad to have someone beside me to get outta there. I will keep all of these rules to my heart!
Same here, INFP in a relationship with an INTP. Whereas I started psychoanalysis 2 yrs ago and started getting my shit together, my man is the one who is stubborn to grow. Yeah he is very proud of me but he just goes back to his comfort zone. And I’m kinda done with it, I started throwing hints at him, trying to involve him more into his own share of the family chores…only to hear him say “Washing dishes is a woman’s job, it’s embarrassing for me to do it”.
I feel kinda pissed because I was always so accomodating, and stuff like this just flew under my radar. I just want the slightest hint of collaboration from him…
@@aquarius2284 are u sure of him as INTP though? My partner doesn't even think of social roles and principles.. he always does what needs to be done, but his issue is not willing to accept that things need to be done, buuuut place we are in is terrible, so we both are trying our best to grow out of comfort zone and move on
The INTP and NTJs are supposed to be on a loop system of betterment. When the NTJ fails on their end, the INTP falls apart.
I just got out of a friendship with an intp male that I wanted a romantic relationship with. I'm an intj girl. My problem was simple, I know him since we were kids. Recently we get in touch, but I spend one year of my life trying to meet him in person, I live far away from him and my parents wouldn't let me, but I offered him to do whatever it takes. He left me waiting, never took a risk for me, just draining the good vibes, support and love out of me. Till I realized it was no worthy of my time, effort, energy, even though he said he wanted me too. I expressed my thinking with evidence, challenged his thoughts, but maybe I failed making him more desirable and accepting his bad behavior towards me for so long. So I've learned one lesson out of this, ty from Mexico, always providing helpful info.
good job leaving, it's too much work. you were right.
I hope this helps but I'd like to point out that forcing an INTP (even for their own good) generally won't go so well. Rebellion will result.
Some additional points to add to each:
Rule 1: Be a sounding board for ideas, even the half-baked ones. Ask lots of questions and don't be afraid to push back. This will be appreciated and help to make stronger ideas and understandings.
Rule 2: An INTP should always be learning. They will become mentally stronger, more successful and happier for it.
Rule 3: Healthy routines are good, unhealthy routines need interrupted.
Rule 4: We need validation, not coddling. Give us harsh truth if necessary.
Rule 5: Critiques are not insults, it's our way of helping.
Rule 6: Be direct and explicit with expectations of INTP, Ne needs choice but too much choice can lead to indecision. If you're an Ni user, give one or two options you can live with. Ne is great at presenting you with options, not so good with making final decisions. If an INTP is struggling to want something that is good for them, push them to go for it.
Rule 7: Be patient and come up with alternative forms of communication if we struggle to hear you even if we look like we're listening.
Rule 8: When an INTP finds meaning in life, they can be a force to be reckoned with. Woe to any who get in their way.
ENFP female in a relationship with a well adjusted INTP man. I am fascinated by his mind, and while we come at the world from opposing perspectives, our core values line up beautifully. It's nice to be with someone who brings balance and challenge.
Looking back INFJs females were and are people who constantly teach me how to function as human.
where do people find multiple infjs...i only know one and it's me and I'm not even completely sure if i am one.
@@aladdout9454 they flock to me weirdly. The tend to be in humanity field. They are also good with numbers.
@@neptunejoo can confirm I'm good with numbers. Not in a humanity field but i love love love psychology n feel like i may have messed up not choosing it.
@@aladdout9454 i am okay to add another INFJ friend on my list if you are interested too 😊
What are you looking for anyway? Another INFJ?
When two INFJs meet they can have camaraderie relationship. Also they can be apathetic to each other. Or they will play the social game.
So yeah, what outcome do you want?
@@neptunejoo 😂 I'd love to have another into friend. My childhood one, we r still friends but due to distance we dont interact much. We had so much fun tho.
Yeah i kinda know 2 infj males(maybe 3?) and seems like it's apathetic. Online it seems pretty good though, but i can sense one of them trying to correct me all the time(enfp focused imo). But still conversations are good. I dont think it will translate well irl tho.
Yeah I'd like to see upclose another infj, itd be funny but weird.
It's interesting I waited a long time for this one and it definitely hit me differently than I thought. I watched it once took notes, and watched it twice to really absorb the information.
I see where you are coming from with this series, less about modern love and more about growth and relationship sustainability.
In my 20s I think came to terms with dopamine and hedonism, realized my life was going nowhere but self pity and self soothing if I didn't cut my own bs and grow up.
After 7 years of self development there was part of me that lacked balance, relationships still really weren't working out. The femininity component for INTP women is incredibly important and tbh should be encouraged consistently and early as possible, not without logic of course but it definitely could help once she is mature enough to actually want to be desired without a latent catch-up effect.
On NTJs enabling, that's one is pretty spot on. It blows my mind how these types see themselves as competent ans capable of change but practically encourage stagnation in their partners, especially by choosing crusaders as mates who can be pretty okay naturally just living thier life without constant movement or fuss.
Personal example is NTJ men asking why I'm working so much or so hard on something, me knowing that if I don't keep myself sharp I will fall prey to comfort and hedonism, they offer to do my work, not hold me accountable and then get mad I got cozy lecturing me on needed to do more. 😵💫😆 it's bonkers and I do often feel it's their fault if they are resentful about it.
Overall though I just love NTJs, but I think we as INTPs get misunderstood very much on what we prioritize, especially since it's not naturally relationships from the onset. I'd definitely rather work on my projects, my art, my studio practice, my work, my old love of video games, and studying philosophy and esoteric traditions along with my research. Where does a meaningful relationship fit in with my true passions and interests? Not sure... buy as I get older I do appreciate the NTJs willing to entangle themselves trying to work with me on this.
27:00 yes! I found that I had to seek out people and things that would challenge me. I NEEDED it.
I really appreciate this video! I am a 20-year-old female INTP currently in college studying Philosophy and Theology.
I would love to be a wife and mom someday, and I would love to work from home, homeschool my kids, etc. I haven’t really met any INTP’s that have gone down this path or other female INTP’s in general… perhaps, it seems atypical for the INTP, especially with stereotypes about NTPs not have feelings, being cold, desiring independence, etc.
I like to think that I’m a bit more balanced in my cognitive functions, having grown up in a large family with an array of personality types. :)
This video was very helpful in that I am trying to “increase my value” going into future relationships. I’m often discouraged by the fact that I don’t feel like typical “girlfriend” or “wife” material because of my interests. But, I’ve picked up on a lot of the things you’ve said in this video and am especially working on appearing more feminine and learning homemaking skills, like cooking, cleaning, taking care of my body, etc. Emotional stability and being less melancholic is a big struggle for me too… I can have some really bad Fe explosions which leave me feeling embarrassed and frustrated afterward.
Anyways, good to know a lot of the areas I might struggle in as a lover too. I think, for me, as a female, the points you made about being able to respect their partner’s thinking REALLY hit home.
Especially if I become a wife, I think I’d be putting myself in a really uncomfortable and difficult situation to try to follow the lead of a man that I don’t trust or that I can’t really respect… I’m keeping these things in mind.
Again, this video was super, super helpful!
That is amazing! I’m an INTO and also studied philosophy and theology
Wow! This makes me happy… these are fields of study I can’t easily relate well to others. 😅
Where to study philosophy and theology online plz ??
@@youssefshahir8624 You can go to any college/university and see if you can take some of their online course. Also, there are RUclips info videos about philosophy
what is Fe explosion? Fe inferior isn't that emotional
We have very similar missions, and it's funny we're both INTPs.
Jumped onto the site, got INTP course, plus the one that covers all. I never even considered getting anyone's material before I saw yours. I didn't even click on this one, but I've listened to just about the whole thing.
Whenever I am facing a difficult dilema, I ALWAYS ask myself this: what would Evelyn O'Connell (INTP) from The Mummy do in this situation? She's the best damn INTP role model for INTPs like myself.
I love that movie. She is awesome !!
wow an intp relating everything back to a movie reference... what a rare sighting 😁
I haven't actually watched that movie in years, but at times I have wondered whether she could be an ISTJ rather than INTP. Then again, I recall one line where she said "He's a filthy, rude, obnoxious scoundrel; I don't like him one bit," and I somewhat doubt whether someone with Fe trickster would make such comments (long story why I remember verbatim quotes despite not having seen it in years; I won't bore you). Probably doesn't help that I know a handful of ISTJs who are librarians lol
@@heatherbryant4197 it does kind of sound more like Fe hero or critic
@@knifeyonline She really isn't. Watch the movie again. Like Chase talked on the video she is focused on her "life's pursuit". She is clumsy all the time (like in that library scene), her clothing style is questionable at times, only when she got drunk she spilled her feelings to Rick, she does not care about fancy stuff like ISTJs and ENFPs do, she put the puzzle pieces together with her Ne Parent and figured out the location of the treasured books, she is very apologetic, she has an ESFJ side to her, she doesn't plan stuff out, etc, etc, etc.
Weather modification started around 1959, with cloud seeding with silver iodide, if I remember correct, somewhere around the Texas & New Mexico border over 60 years ago. Weather modification is currently being attempted heavily in Asia. Among all things that produce "the butterfly effect", weather phenomena is high up there... due to the huge amount of variables, multiplied by time.. for example, would a butterfly flapping it's wings in Mongolia today, cause a hurricane next year to turn hours earlier (because of the time expanded extrapolations of every action having a consequence) on it's track & destroy a city, as opposed to hitting an unoccupied swamp. If they drain the clouds in one area... what happens to the area where it would have occurred naturally, what change does that cause in future developing patterns? A helluva lot more than cloud seeding has been studied & is known, but not advertised, over 60+ years. There are a lot more ramifications to these things hardly anyone has heard of, than the release of excess CO2. That's not even mentioning the migration of magnetic poles and manmade phenomena of electromagnetic radiation.
My dad is an INTP and he's a great father but boy he is difficult to get along with. I noticed he has a tendency to be obsessive from his career, work out regime, or any hobby.
Whenever CSJ has one sentence to state he extends it to a whole court trial 🤣
im only up to number 4... but i am not sure your advice for INTP females hits the mark.... females ( in general) are socialised to make relationships and partner getting a priority... and as an INTP female - i can tell you that has been my main and longest "special interest" all my life... We are not told so much how to keep them once got - and thats when i tend to let go... along side (as another intp female said here ) getting bored with them since they dont stimulate me long term intellectually emotionally and sexually... i do like it when partners ague with me for the sake of arguing tho... i need that
😂 “arguing for the sake of arguing” 🤣🤣🤣
INTP male here and this guy’s advice could’ve been written by my ESFJ brother. My very abusive, cruel, and domineering ESFJ brother.
Newly sober (again) thank you for the content to reinforce my priorities csj
Thank you for this video. Learning this branch of psychology would have really been useful in an earlier life.
On cold days, cold plays out like the band's name
I know I can't heal things with a handshake
You know I can change, as I began saying
You cut me wide open like a landscape
Open bottles of beer but never champagne
To applaud you with the sound that my hands make
Should I? Should I?
Maybe I'll get drunk again
I'll be drunk again
I'll be drunk again
To feel a little love
All by myself
I'm here again
All by myself
You know I'll never change
All by myself
All by myself
I'm just drunk again
I'll be drunk again
I'll be drunk again
To feel a little love
- Ed Sheeran
I recently saw an interview with Ed Sheeran and I thought he was an ISFP because Chase mentioned it before but he was dropping truth-bombs left and right totally debunking stuff about musicians and reminded of INTP instantly..do you think he is an INTP as well?
@@law9051 If he write his own lyrics, yes I believe he could be.
Thank you so much for this video. I'm new to typing and personality stacks. I've learned sho much about myself through your videos. I love your location where this is filmed and live about about 45 minutes away from that lake and resort. Keep up the amazing work and mission. The worlds needs this info.
As an intp, my current goal is to learn so I can later teach and advise.
Keep at it
thank u, now i can love myself
great! just remember not to follow your own fashion advice :D
Also almost all my fellow INTP’s I have interacted with has complained that they’ve cheated on; needless to say that we are perhaps the most loyal out of all other 15 types -even more than the ISTJ and INTJ.
u mean they have been cheated on right?
and more loyal than ISTJ and ISFJ?
no
@@nemesis27The ISFJ is close to being as loyal as the INTP
You keep killing it thanks for this Chase!!
I'm an ISTJ. My daughter is INTP. She doesn't know how to express her feelings and it ends up being a huge melt down inferior Fe style. I have zero ability to respond to that correctly. Maybe logically in real time. But ultimately I am lost on how to make her feel better as my daughter.
She’s not having Fe meltdowns, she is battling Fi demon, which is something her Ti wants to destroy and repress, but Fi is stubbornly trying to help her build identity apart from logic.
She may not be mature enough to thoroughly analyze that Fi wants to help her feel her confusing adolescent emotions (Ti hates those, as they are inconvenient and get in the way ;p). Hence the meltdowns - we can only shrug off our emotions for so long before they spill out.
It really is a rocky journey for INTP girls - we just do not fit in, and Fe notices how others receive her or maybe even bypass/dismiss her because of her demeanor. She probably thinks there is something wrong with her.
Now you, as an ISTJ, have Fi in your top 4 functions. You DO have the ability to help her through her Fi meltdowns. Ask questions - she wants to be valued, not “fixed”. What is making her feel undervalued? Is she lacking genuine connection with others? How does she feel about herself? Low self-esteem? You don’t have to get emotional yourself, just giver her your ISTJ strength.
Not to be so generalizing, but the thing with ISTJ’s is they want to fix something with practicality, and look at people struggling with their emotions as “not put together” (y’all have Fe very low on your function stack, so approaching from a caring and emotional angle does not come naturally for the ISTJ). But she needs that, and needs to be reminded of her potential. She needs Fe vibes from you. Otherwise she will feel further ostracized if you simply approach her as if she is a problem that needs fixing.
Now if you can’t Fe her, Si her lol.
You are Si hero. And INTP’s have Si tertiary. Maybe you can’t comfort her emotionally, but you can treat her to something that makes her happy and in her comfort zone- making her favorite dessert or meal. Arranging a moment just for her with tea, and talk about something stimulating for her, like something she is currently interested in. Take her to lunch and pick her brain or something - INTP’s shine when they get the opportunity to share intellectual insight.
Recall memories she might enjoy and watch her light up. But don’t project your way of doing things onto her. Y’all are almost polar opposites. Simply make a connection with the Si and Fi. Just be present.
We INTP’s are, objectively, one of the least self-confident types. We can truly become apathetic and hateful when we find we can’t rely on the people who are supposed to be there for us and love us. I would know. It’s taken so long to grow.
Remind her she isn’t a burden, and that the human experience is a pain in the ass and she can make it through.
I’m sorry to you, though. Truly, a young INTP female is a force to be reckoned with. We can be moody, cold, sometimes self-isolating and condescending. But we are dying inside to just be understood and have value to others. We have a very hard time seeing our potential and keeping a sense of direction.
@@elenawhite88 thank you so much... becasue I truly understand everything you just said. I was doing just that. Trying to use my si to help her. The issue is that I am not as present as I'd like and I'm not doing enough to show her the value she is. She recently was crying... and I'd ask what is wrong and she says I don't know... but I expect you to know and help me. She's right. That's why I reached out here... and this here I knew deep inside and it only reassured me of what I know i need to do. Thank you.💕
@@raquelreyes2011 I still don’t even know how to explain what’s wrong with me when my ISTJ husband asks what’s wrong lol. I can identify the emotions, but explaining where they come from or how to put it in a way where other’s understand is such a struggle, because for us it’s a major build up of a million little things. And there is a solid fear of vulnerability, even around those we love.
I always find it easier to write it down. Maybe your daughter likes to write? Do some journaling? Whenever I had heated moments, I’d write it down right away. And when I come back to read them in a “sober” state, it was very clear to me what I was feeling only in hindsight. That would really help her, I think.
But hey, you’re here discovering the world of MBTI for you and your daughter’s sake - that’s amazing. Your knowledge and approach is really going to help. I damn near would have sold my soul to know I was “normal” during that part of my life.
God bless you
ugh I hate how Se trickster is stereotyped as bad fashion and being clumsy. Makes us sound so fucking stupid. I have a hard time believing anyone can continue being clumsy going into adulthood especially with all the SJs around unless they're unusually lazy and isolated and have no motivation to fix the problem by forcing themselves to be more aware of their surroundings. I agree for Se trickster being that we don't know how we come off.
Everyone is so fucking stupid
It's a trickster function, we can't change that
There are so many stereotypes in this! I’m an intp, men fall in love with me very easily. If it weren’t for my size I’d be married. And I have the issue of giving more than I get back and I hate casual sex.
I was waiting for this🥳🥳🥳
from the start of the video i was like:
0:20 NO0o we are easy to be with
0:28 Oh...
But thanks a lot for this video. I waited too long for it but it was totally worth it
Thank you for making this. It was really helpful!
I like it when it my Intp mate ask me for advice . I like his growing mindset. in my previous relationship, I like to take the lead to try on new things and introduce that to people . It is also a way to train up my se inferior. Absolutely agree that we have to have boundaries in a relationship! Not just right from the beginning and then it’s gone.
This episode just explains why my relationship with my ISTP works, he doesn't enable me. I get motivated because he is motivated. And he is good at explaining what he is thinking and what and why they want for themselves and for me.. I guess Ti-Se-Ni-Fe types are just better for me. Te-Ni-Se-Fi can be fun and all, but the enabling is just terrible. Its just too good to be true.
Shallow sex is definitely not what i think intps are prone to.
That would probably require talking to others so… good point.
Hahahah Am a lil late to the party
Funny you what you mentioned in the last rule! The question about what I value comes up sporadically in my life, but when it does my mind inadvertently goes blank :''')
Too relatable - istp .
As an INTP from India, Man you literally helped me getting out of my addictions (smoking weed & smoking in general) and I now consume your content about INTP's soo much over other things in the hopes of it giving me value enough to help me change. I am confident that I can engineer myself to be better & I'm literally on the verge of changing countries to start all over again in my 27 years of existence and I think idk maybe the challenge will transform me into a better person but I still am not confident about getting a Job. I switched my career path, I went from being a pot smoking sound engineer to now a sober student of code trying their hand at Data Analytics/Business Analytics (because that's what I want to do my Master's in another country) and the anxiety that comes with presenting myself with confidence about these things especially about being able to pay student loan of $60k (I know what you're thinking but to have a work visa in US & H1B I'd have to do some Masters & it is pretty expensive) with everything going on around the world. I'm confident though but I still am stuck in this loop of nihilist stagnant phases where I have to push myself hard in a different way to be closer to that. I'm glad I quit weed which was enabling my hedonistic dopamine harakiri of potential & now I'll be attempting to pull the plug on unnecessary social media consumption, Fap and porn AND Working on my diet and exercise regime. Would really like your advice on how can I with my INTJ girlfriend get out of debt and maximise our productivity to achieve more(career, self development, finance etc) & make up for the fact that we wasted our potential? Wouldn't rely on therapy. I value & trust you & your ability to be straight up truthful with me and I think that's better than crying about it at therapy. I hope you see this.
Thankyou for putting out this content. Really appreciate and value what you give to the world.
Hey, where're you from?
Thanks for the lecture. It helped.
Love the videos man!!! Just a little bit of advice, just to get more recognition/credibility I would make another video explaining the definitions of Ne and Ni (or all cognitive functions) tons of people are so stuck on you saying “seeing into other people future” and think that’s your “definition” of ne. Their bias makes them not consider that you deal mostly relationship behaviors, so this content is relationship focused. I’m an entp myself so it makes sense to me, what you mean, but not everyone can “read between the lines” all the time. Great content tho I’ve learned tons from you.
He allready has a lecture on this very topic.
@@creeperkingdom3190 I understand that but unlike me and you, many people are discrediting him because he said “see into the future” what I’m saying is he needs to clear that up, because he is really taking cognitive functions too the next level but the psychology world is fighting him on this, because he is a entp and the world hates innovation
@@saiapupua72 no I mean he has individual videos on each cognitive function and how it works already it was his very first season.
@@creeperkingdom3190 that’s actually what I’m talking about I’m completely understand where your coming from. In that video he talks about how ne dominant users have the “ability to see into the others future” which is obviously at metaphor, the issue isn’t that he hasn’t ever explained what ne is, and his explanation 100% makes sense. The issue is many people in the psychology community hear that one line,stop there, and instantly discredit him because they think he is just feeding his ego as a entp and his “ability to see others future”. The point I’m making is what cs Joseph is making huge progress with cognitive function, but for him to have his work recognized the psychology community he will need to clear that up. Because most of the psychology community is made up of intj’s dominant 2nd function te (rational thinking) they are so worried that his definition not textbook definition of Carl Jung. Because Te is super worried about citing your sources. And just like a entp myself we always “read between the lines” and talk in metaphors. The point of this comment is I only wish for cbs Joseph success, he is making huge progress in cognitive functions and actually applying it to “real life”. Unfortunately he is going to need the support of the community if he is going to make it over that hurdle and unfortunately the community is made up of a bunch of rationalists, that refuse “outside of the box” thinking.
@@creeperkingdom3190 if you don’t wanna read that whole essay lol. Basically he needs to use some text book definitions because the community in psychology is all te users, or in other words idiots that refuse any information if it is not cited. And a big leap in cognitive function will require their support unfortunately
Thank you for this. I now understand alot more about myself and my past marriage. I am totally in a rutt. And Iove it. But for the sake of my family I should do other things.
If you checked that he called it a 24 minute intro 22 minutes into the video, you might be an INTP.
Is it possible to get clarification on what exploration refers to. As an INTP I naturally explore intellectual concepts all the time, I assume then you're referring to either geographical or social exploration?
And when you mention priorities, you mention adopting ones oriented towards success, but since we are already naturally focused on purpose and work, I'm not sure what I should be looking to further adpot beyond a relatively functional work life balance for the sake of our partners.
I'm unclear on those two points and they seem to be important for our development.
Wait for the deadly sin lecture to drop on the members area
Exploration means to get out of your comfort zone and explore places, people, new food, etc because it helps INTPs realize the reality around them. If it wasn’t because of me my INTP wouldn’t even noticed that our city is actually fun to explore, now he likes to explore different coffee shops and restaurants with me and he is more open to talk with strangers. When it comes to priorities I feel like it is something similar when Te inferior users cherry pick pieces of thoughts from other people but they don’t filter any of it because of Ti demon. Maybe Fe inferiors need to be expose to other people’s values and priorities to filter out which ones should be pick for their lives, I don’t feel it has to be necessarily towards success but at least they will realize which ones are worth taking.
@@JR-ow8xg Thinking about it more, I guess my question is more nuanced than I described, because I've definitely felt the paradoxical discomfort of interfacing with the external world while simultaneously being deeply curious about it all. Luckily, my job has taken me to different places around the world, along with an amazing spouse and friends creating opportunities that I wouldn't have otherwise created on my own. But now, feeling more "normal" or socialized after having done plenty of that, and therefore no longer afraid of going out, I feel confident that I don't personally find a lot of intrinsic value in most of those activities.
I prefer to stay home and study various topics, just now out of preference rather than fear. I don't necessarily expect an answer, but my more nuanced question of exploration would be: Must I pull myself away from my intellectual [Ti/Ne] gluttony (which I do in hopes of solving my stagnation [Ni] problem) in order to somehow further develop myself (possibly in some Se manner), or have I simply already resolved my "exploration" needs?
Effectively, I wonder the same question about priorities, but the latter part of the question would seem unlikely due to it being associated with my demon function.
Maybe some other INTPs can contribute to my line of thinking/questioning =)
@@targetdummie I don't think Ti/Ne intellectual exploration is gluttony. Gluttony would be like shopping, sleeping, watching TV, eating, sex, adrenaline activities, being lazy etc. Yes intellectual stuff is "consumption" but because it's our hero I don't think that's what he's referring to
This was so weird because im an intp male and was previously in a relationship with someone that could have been an intj. I feel they were due to most of the problems that were explained in the video between intjs and intps were problems in the relationship.
i appreciated the walk... it was easier to hear, and at the same time I was like, someone just needs to invite me on walks. My brain is so wrong.. and yes, thank you, this did provide insight.
That's a lot of work! Let's just become drug addicts together and live in a box under the bridge.
Spongebob intro starting: „Oooohhh..“
Lol uh oh
Eventually, I plan to share this with my wife. I'll have to introduce her to M.B. first though. The acronyms you used would completely lose her. Good stuff. I'll probably introduce a few points myself to her... And, frankly, myself particularly with the exploration stuff. It's really is SOOOOO easy to do the same thing over and over and over. An addictive personality trait is definitely a vice I've noticed in me.
20 minutes in... So far, so good!
Each rule is exactly spot on and I wish I'd known them 15 years ago but I'm at a point in my life where ANY man I that I consider to be in my life must be self aware and focused on self improvement.
They were cloud seeding in WW2
I think this was helpful. Hard to heard, but helpful. Luckily im a Christian so I do know I have purpose other wise I would default to nihilism for sure. I put out constant on my channel for that very reason, but still I consume more then I put out when i have a lot to put out. My husband is a ENTJ and sometimes I wonder when he will find out that im not as great as he thinks. So that thought keeps me from getting too conformable as far as put my self out. Being healthy is another struggle. i eat better then i ever have only because of health demands it if i want a family. Consistency is my biggest problem. It's just takes me a long time for a habit to stick. Either something has to click in my brain, are i have to keep trying until its a habit. Which can take years.
Great show, Chase as usual. Very enlightening
Thank you.
~ INTP woman in a 20 year marriage to an ENFP
Thank you chase, what do you think relationship between intp female and infj male?
Good chemistry, not great emotional compatibility, could be good relationship.
Thank you for super mega meaningful lecture
How would an ISTP INTP relationship work? I feel like it’s the blind leading the blind after listening to this haha.
Would you say alot of these struggle for intps in relationships can come from childhood and not experiencing alot of these steps you explained from their parents? Like pushing you out your comfort zone and making you explore whilst giving explanations why instead of just telling you to do it, because that is what is expected of you.
All these steps right here could’ve been written by my evil, abusive, controlling ESFJ brother, describing how he treated me throughout my childhood ,with of course the fig leaf claim that it was because he loved me and wanted to improve me. The only reason I don’t kill him is because I live four states away, and I don’t have any guns that reach that far.
Doing these to an INTP is exactly how you make somebody who decides they want no part of the outside world or its people or relationships with them. That was the effect of a childhood being treated like this on me. By all means drive your INTP around, never listen to what they want, constantly undermine their values and beliefs, subject them to an unending storm of chaos, refuse them any comforts or autonomy!
"Producing more to sustain the exploration" sums up my current life challenge pretty well ^^ need 5000€ if someone wants to know haha
45:20 Intp spends 4 days building up their research, time, thoughts, and process...just before starting the project someone quips how they should do said project today...Intp goes back to bed instead to spend 4 days of research, time, thoughts, and process to tell that person they were going to
He says INTPs lack of purpose causes them to be hedonistic. Isn’t that more about a lack of the discovery origin?
Tell Intp what you want = Ni
And why you want it = Ti
Hence why INFJs are truly the golden pair of healthy INTPs.
Ni parent being responsible about what it wants aligns most closely if it's direct.
ti child is never humble
For starters the INFJ Ni hero needs to align with our Ti hero, while the former having preference for feeling we need their empathy to understand us and our needs, whilst they help us with our social skills
@@sylviaowega3839 yeah it's the advisor pair so they both will naturally have insight in areas the other misses, though I don't think they will compliment each others stregnths.
Since when INFJ and INTP makes a golden pair?
Heya csj, been a hot minute since I been on your channel, i took a break from the content for a couple years or so, used to be a big fan, because I just couldn't really figure out if I agree with your theories and whatnot. I really wanna give you a fair shake cause heaven knows I hate assuming the answer, but I also never feel like I'm able to reach that assurance cause your lecture style is like a big never ending bowl of spaghetti. You should make a video about you refuting those who deny the general theory or something, I'd eat that up. No hate intended, best of luck
Damn at first i was like wow i am doing only 2 rules here , no wonder i don't feel that i am contributing to INTP my sister comparing to what she does to me but listening the lecture again i am like okay i am not as bad as i thought
it's interesting that my "S" functions are the ones are holding me back to complete all of 8 rules towards my sister , i do lack variety myself so i can't help her with that but the good thing she is recently married to INTJ man and he is not afraid of exploring new things with her and obviously not being boring like me lol
anyway definitely took notes from this lecture , it was very useful and I can not wait for INFP "FINALLY", i am waiting for that one because my closet friend i think she is an INFP and that lecture would be an opportunity to verify her type by you talking about the deadly sins and also i would like to see how i am doing towards her since i know i am not unlocking her heart 100%
💎s dropped.
I don't know what is this fixation on gluttony. My vice is clearly sloth. Because even when I have nothing to consume, I do not become overly productive. Consumption is an excuse not to do stuff you need to do, but not the only one. Nor do I consume more than I produce: I am the most minimalistic person I know, and this is part of Ni critic encouraging me not to desire stupid stuff. As a result, for someone slothful, I have impressive savings.
Furthermore, #8 is bad. I value freedom, independence, honesty, consistency, creativity and innovation. Anything that frees human capital, that reduces the work load, that makes things more efficient. Or in other words, capitalism. *The 7 other rules are on point.* Those that do not apply to me currently at least applied at some point. For example, I now recommend everyone sky-dives at least once in their lives, it shatters the perception of your own problems.
Then look at INTP
@@CSJoseph I did. Your 4 years old video explaining the INTP's 8 cognitive functions was the best I've found. Period. It was the first time I heard from someone else two key elements of my mindset:
"Why even bother?" when people don't listen (and basically not liking the "I told you so" part) and the "If I get to do the time, might as well do the crime.".
And I REALLY struggle with sloth. Procrastination. Hence why I am confused about "gluttony" as a defining aspect.
INFP next please. 🙏🏽
🙏🙏🙏
This is like church, my man!