8 Rules For Loving an ISTJ | Season 27 | CS Joseph
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 18 окт 2024
- Discover your personality type free: www.udja.app/
CS Joseph discusses 8 rules for loving an ISTJ.
Was this video impactful for you? Buy me a coffee! ko-fi.com/csjo...
Test, Blog, RUclips, Coaching, Member, and Discord links: linktr.ee/csjo...
Psychoanalyzing and video games collide:
/ csj0s3ph
Get the solution to bad psychology when it comes to sales and marketing here: ultimatemessag...
Prefer to listen? Find audio versions here:
csjoseph.life/...
Outro: Prismo (Stronger) NoCopyright Sound ncs.io/Stronger
My ISTJ father was anything but boring but he was predictable, like a rock. He had more adventures and developed many skills in his life than most. Learned several languages, traveled the world, learned to fly, was a volunteer firefighter, was a scientist, a philosopher and religious. You could call him anything but late for dinner. He could remember things like what he ate 25 years ago at a roadside diner he stopped at that one time and tell you all about what the food was like in great detail. He was ALWYS appropriately dressed. He worked as a human computer before computers were common. Manually managing information on index cards for a scientific information company that now does it all with data centers in a fraction of the time. His ENTJ wife used to get upset with him because he could never say the words “I love you” but showed it in every action. She would be frustrated that he didn’t seem to show support in parenting matters (though in reality, I know he sometimes disagreed, he would still show loyalty and solidarity with his actions). Unfortunately her constant tests of loyalty did wear on him but he kept being himself. Like a rock and never wavered. He even took a stand in defense of his children when it really mattered to him. I miss him. If you’ve never loved an ISTJ, you really don’t know what you’re missing.
1. Always be thoughtful torwards ur ISTJ's needs.
2. Provide quality thought. Go out of ur way to consider the realistically likely struggles that the ISTJ might go/is going through.
3. Always make them feel special [privileged] . As if they are of a different breed in a special way.
4. Meet their inferior Ne's expectations. In case of no knowledge of them, communicate them with the ISTJ.
5. Don't make a mess - tangible or abstract - for the ISTJ to clean up. Develop *YOUR OWN* sense of responsibility. - Se nemesis issue
6. Do collective problem-solving with them. Do research urself and provide them with quality knowledge to think about. U gotta have the research and the experience to back up what ur saying. Take away their worry about judging themselves for being stupid due to not buying conventional knowledge via having and sharing verified info.
7. Save them from embarassement. Be proactive- tell 'em prehandedly that it's likely they might screw up in a situation. Allow them to safe face.
8. Allow them to take risks via creating the enviroment for it via calculated shared risky behaviour.
What are "inferior Ne's expectations"?
@@def642029:00 timestamp
Who typed Remington ISTJ? He's a UD ENFP
@@lostbuthopefull8788 ye prolly
@@lostbuthopefull8788 Dunno about UD, but ENFP
Wow wow wow. So glad you're finishing up this series! I just entered a relationship of sorts with an ISTJ male and I am an ISTP. After watching this, it just confirms how natural chemistry works! So crazy to see how I naturally do all these things, but even so I'm glad that I have concrete evidence and can continue to build on what I am doing! Chase, I love you, my rogue! 🖤
Hi Mary
you're in a relationship with him? This is news. gegegegege
Man, im a classic istj woman. I know im the boring kind but ive been around all the wrong people. Im improving. And ill be making sure to have the right people around me. This whole video made me feel very special. Thank you.
It seems to me that no matter how much people hate these two types ISTPs and ISTJs are the backbones of humanity and they deserve some respect for that
Though when you look at some of their vices it's no wonder people despise some of them. (Not all but some)
Istj's in their darker side can be insanely hurtful.
Who says they are hated?
What you’re wrong I love me
We ISTJs are pretty cool 😎
We are sorely misunderstood though…
It is not about feeling special. It is about being heard. It is about knowing that I matter to my partner. It is about my partner taking me into consideration when an important decision has to be made. It is about my partner trusting me so that my partner can come to me with an issue and wanting to work on it as a couple. As an ISTJ, I have never been important to anyone I have dated. These are the things this ISTJ needs.
Ok. 👌
I hear you.
Signed,
INFP
“If you dont like your type, you have to be the exceptional version of your type!” 🎉
Also, never leave an ISTJ guessing. Don't go more than 2 messages in a row without responding. If you don't want to talk to us anymore, PLEASE tell us. We already feel like Godzilla walking around causing irreversible damage and not knowing it with Fe trickster. We could have easily said or done something without realizing it. Two messages in a row without respond COULD be our fault, but we have no idea. Having no idea means triggering our Ne inferior which is very disastrous.
Now I'm curious: My ISTJ colleague says she almost never send or read messages and she keeps leaving her husband messages unread, and when she comes home he complains about her not giving a damn about his messages. Knowing that, I never messaged her, but she messaged me few times when she looked after me. I'm not trying to imply anything, I'm just trying to clear this message thing out...
I'm ISTJ, replying messages is tough for me, cause my Fe trickster doesn't know how to respond properly (how to not sound rude, misleading, etc) and that makes my Si nemesis anxious abiut giving others bad experiences. I rely on my ESTP husband to reply the messages though, cause he's quick in social interaction and always seems to know what to say in every situation😢😂
I am an ISTJ who just came out of a 2 year long relationship. My partner did not respect rule 1. They had no qualms about leaving me out of things. I didn't realise how important it was for me to feel included, even though, as you rightly said, ISTJs do their utmost to include their SO. And you're right. I devoted everything to them. Every detail was planned with them in mind, and I did it wanting to be the mature partner. But they did not reciprocate. They probably broke more rules, which I'm still processing. 2 years is a lot to me given how much effort I put into it.
I just want to say that the only things that make me cry are when my loved ones are hurt, or when I've been severely misunderstood and betrayed by my loved ones. I don't cry when bad things happen to me - it doesn't make sense to me because I'd rather think about the solution. But after the break up, this realisation that my partner conveniently left me out of things, and would do exactly the same things as they did with their friends (aka not making the distinction with our romantic relationship) made me cry. It is such an important need. Thank you for bringing this to light, CS Joseph.
I have so many things to learn. I'm grateful that your videos (I've watched a few) illuminate a highly misunderstood part of how functions interplay with one another. And especially about ISTJs. I often see videos about the introverted intuitive types which makes me feel lost because I can't find tailored advice.
May I ask how do I know which focused ISTJ type I am? E.g ESTP / ENFP focused. Is there a video about it? Thank you once again :)
This is so very, very, very spot on. Thank you, Chase! (61-yo ISTJ woman here!) Sometimes I have to wonder if there is *anyone* who can be as considerate of us as we would like them to be and thus in my older age I have started letting go of expectations and am trying to just let life happen. Trying to keep a "soft focus" if you will. It's so much easier for me that way. (still difficult to do, but easier on my mental health, I guess!) And yes, I think you would say I am an ENFP-focused ISTJ woman...I do belly dancing, yoga, and other things that keep me in touch with my divine feminine. Life can be such a fun journey and I really appreciate your videos! They help me see others through a different lens and it's so helpful.
I'm an 38 year old ISTJ woman. :) I just read your comment and I would hope I am so eloquent and soft and femine as you when I grow older.
I wish I had a role model like you in my life. All the best
@@nikitimmermans You are so very kind and thank you.
3:39 "God doesn't make trash, right."
LOVE IT
Some episodes it seems like Chases Ti fire of truth is burns extra strong, with that painful tough love. Other times his Fe child gives out balloons and candy and compliments. This feels like a fire episode. 🔥
I really like how you bring out the good about ISTJ. Really underappreciated type.
Hey been following you awhile now.
I’m an INFP man and my wife is an ISTJ woman.
I took an extended break from watching RUclips and came back and found these 8 rules videos of yours.
The biggest reason I began studying personality typing was because my marriage was/is falling apart. I’ve already watched your 8 rules for INFP, and I will also comment on that video after I watch a couple more times. But watching the both of them has really shown me how we have both been at fault and have both been pushing all the wrong buttons.
Much love and respect for your content and what you do here.
This has been eye opening.
If you don't want to answer I understand , what makes it bad is the emotional or the sexual functions?
I'm currently involved with an istj man. Im an enfp. I ❤ how make each type feel so special. (Not just of my istj) I think this is one of your best videos! Thankyou, for trying to create a better future for us all!
I know this will help me be a better SO!
I am an INFP married to a risk adverse ISTJ. This was helpful…. But has left me a little hopeless. We’ve both done our fair share of hurting each other. All I can do is help him see his value and make him feel special even though we’re “not living his life” since we have children.
I can learn to be better at meeting his expectations and writing down all my reasons why for things with scientific resources and hope that will help him make more informed risk choices for us to move forward together instead of separately.
Thanks!
If you don't want to answer I understand , is the problem the emotional or the sexual functions?
So which is it? ISTJs get to be able to set expectations in the relationship (including women), or women should live their man’s life? Both can’t be possible at the same time all the time. Unless there’s some premise I’m not taking into account. Thank you for the video, it was great as always! I felt really heard.
I have the same question - seems like conflicting info to me.
Adding this to the, “Library of Alexandria”.
Chase:
> had some health problems with respiratory system or something, so said that he will take care of his health
Also Chase:
> 5:04
And by the way, this is a really interesting lecture series to watch, waiting for my type (INTP)
Cigars increase testosterone
@@st3llarmemer111 And a lung cancer chance, but it's just a small inconvenience compared to beeing alpha high testosterone high value sigma gigachad of some sort 😆
Watchng this as I plan on finding an ISTJ husband and want to daydream about how I can treat him well :p
I love them! My bff is istj my actual favourite! Since living with NF and NT family for a long time, she is a first person that I feel like we're both a mutual respect on each other 🥺🥺She doesnt back stab behind my back...a first person that inspires me to save money as her 🥺🥺
This might just lowkey be one of the best yet.
I learned so much with this one! Shattering the boring stereotype of ISTJs. Ni demon take risks with them because they are affiliative and Ni demon will fail if told to take risks on their own blows my mind! I can apply that to my ISFJ dad as well cause that's why I hate his ass! Thank you!
Oh I have no problem with expressing my expectations. You know there is no other way to know if they can provide what you need or not if you do not tell them directly. I am totally for being open right away and say what you expect. They can take it or leave it. Wasting time can be avoided that way. Well I don't think we need a constant care but we do want to feel special or "the only one". As you said we go out of our way to take care of our partner and if they can't do a little favour to us once in a while then I have to admit you are right, we lose interest. Why would be continue to take so much care about someone who treats us as anyone else. We are complex and complicated indeed.
As an ENFP I respect ISTJ's and work with them, but I do not want them inside "my life".
FYI: I believe women don't need sex, so much as they need a relationship...with a significant male. Women are difficult in their youth because they don't want sex, but are responsive to males need for sex. However as they age, they grow in their want...but they never need sex, so much as they need relationship. It frustrates me that the male dominated socia and scientificl "truth" negates the female internal phycological reality... Not only that, when men go over the science that actually considers the female perspective, they consistently throw it out as nonsensical.
ISTJs have really been surprising me lately. They deserve more attention.
Smoking to relax is doing the expedient thing. It is weak.
dang this was a real entp lecture, thank you man
As an ISTJ woman, I sometimes find your content confusing when you mix gender opinions/theories with type. You say that in a romantic relationship the ISTJ gets to set expectations for their partner to meet and that this is essential for the relationships health. I find this extremely true about myself and have struggled with it with past partners.
You go on to use a male ISTJ and female STP relationship example, which makes perfect sense until I consider I am female.
It almost seems like you’re insinuating that if you are an ISTJ female, you need to be subconscious focused to be considered feminine? I work in business and am likely more masculine and ESTP focused. However, outside of work I mentally and physically feel that masculinity melt away, especially when I get to come home to someone I love.
You go on to say that as a woman, you should be living the man’s life. “He is primary, you are secondary. And if you disagree with that, you’re not a feminine woman.” As to insult said woman? So, as an ISTJ woman, we are doomed to an unhappy and unfulfilled romantic life because we have to lower our expectations for any man we allow into our life? The other option is to choose a beta male, as you mention. For me, these options aren’t acceptable, so I end up alone? It’s rough out here.
Nonetheless, I adore you and your off the wall tangents and trying to sift through and sort all of the information you provide. I appreciate such valuable content.
They aren’t opinions or theories.
@@CSJoseph did you only read the first sentence?
You caught me :) DM me on discord so we can discuss this. discord.gg/egohackers
ISTJs are the king of knowledge.
Honest question as an ISTJ woman - what exactly does “living your man’s life” mean to you Chase?
Don’t put your life above mine. Be feminine.
@@CSJoseph Thanks for the clarification on that. I thought you initially meant something else when you said that, but this I can agree with.
There is SO much variety with istjs. So many different flavors.
Exactly. Me and my 7 istj friends all different 😂 some are funny, some serious, some craves travelling, some likes to snuggle in bed everyday with their niche interest like this😂
Yeah because of octagram 🙃
We're not boring
I'm not trying to judge you but I'm pretty sure you already know that smoking is not good for your health before you started smoking so why did you start smoking?
dude you are on fire!
I loved this one so much I watched it again the next day.
Interesting the ENFP / ESTP dynamic in different ISTJ. I have 2 ISTJ and they are 100% different focused.
I wonder how would this work in an ENFP. How is a ISTJ focused ENFP vs INFJ focused ENFP?
broadly speaking sub focus is happiness and shadow focus is maturity so...
Great lecture Chase, you don't know how much time I've waited for this, was awesome. So for an ISTJ male being shadow focus benefits us in sexual relationships with women because it makes us more masculine so more atractive, but what are the benefits of being uncouncious focus in a sexual relationship?
33:00 CSJ Certified brutal honesty
But isn't being special a thing that should someone earn it himself ? I can't treat them special if they're not and have typical beliefs and values
My best friend is an istj. I'm an intp.
@Anonymous Me i like enfps too
I'm actually an isfj
It was really helpful, thank you!
I disagree with the man sets all the expectations and the woman is living the mans life. Its 50/50 partnership give and take both ways
This is a naive point of view. Beta men will be okay with this model. But that’s why they end up cucked.
@@CSJoseph ew, did you really write that?? 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢 so embarrassing.
@@CSJoseph love it
Yes I love to feel special
Omg when he mentioned casino haha (me feeling guilty as charged)... Well I didn't have a chance to exhibit it so far but can't say that thought did not cross my mind :D. I told my bf that loyalty is very important to me and if he ever feel need to cheat he better make sure I never find out because if I do, he will get the casino scenario or I can turn a shopaholic and buy literary a new house haha... ISTJ women are savage and can be perceived as revengeful. We all have a devil inside of us but ISTJs, dear Lord, people better never wake up the devil or it will be a disaster :D. We can be as innocent as a child but when we are betrayed, that innocent child becomes Darth Vader for real haha...Literally everything screams "Join the dark side" :D.
omg you are so raw
You spit to show risk aversion, is blindness. Chase after Joseph, and he will point you back to the light of his forgiven brothers, their people and the savior! Messiah walks on the oceans and heals the crippled and blind. Not knowing one's signs and angles of the emotional mind, is indeed crippled and blind! After the spit is wiped over the eye, outside of the city walls {things kept to self}, it's discovered there's a new light, a light of rite, scribed with might, it's all still out there because, they taught us to read and write.
I look at the people in the comment section that they simply want to know ISTJ's better, but in reality they're nothing but energy draining insincere baboons.
i like the concept of the intro you used here
Thank you so much!
What do you think about ISTJ ISFJ relationships?
TheEndlessKurtis in mbti community might be an estp focused one he's hilarious i love his channel! Objective personality thinks he's infj and some others think hes esfp. I think he's just that exception but still an istj.
I'm seeking you out in the MBTI groups. Your information on the functions is flat out wrong. Where are you getting this information? Did you make it up? You can't be basing this purely on Jung's work
Energies and Patterns of Psychological Types, or read my bibliography
@@CSJoseph can you explain to me how Te is concerned with group think? And can you explain how Fi is focused on the concerns of others? Because I think you have these functions gravely confused
@@Roger593961 thats watering it down too much. Te isn't just group think. It just believes more in statistical data and facts believed normally and are more likely to follow the status quo as opposed to Ti users who don't always do that and are more open to "what ifs". Idk where you got Fi explaination from, maybe some context would help but its usually Fe thats concerned about others' feelings or validation from other people to feel accepted or special. Maturity makes a difference in both cases ofc.
@@Roger593961 you just did lol..istj group think is such a classic
I'm seeking to correct CS Joseph not all of you plz shhhh
I don't mind the cigar, but why aren't you looking at the camera, Chase? I miss that. Just saying.
Seriously, you should be making intp first, i was waiting patiently from the start of this series. Man we are your most followers. I know you gonna make INTPs last from now on if i continue ranting but come on joseph feed our curiousity first 😂😂
I really appreciate every one of your lectures.
The order follow the MBTI chart. So far CSJ has done the first 9 types out of 16, and INTP is number 15.
Yep I'm systematic and I go top left to bottom right on the type grid. Even if I did INTP first though, you'd still be waiting 15 episodes between INTP vids anyway, right? Nonetheless appreciate I the desire to see them.
Channing Tatum!? This makes alot of sense, I always said he was boring 😂
Are istjs usually good at provisioning?
I think maybe Zac Efron is also a shadow focused ISTJ 🤔
Damn who made that intro and outro? And what's their type?
collaborated with a very talented INFJ.
@@CSJoseph Ah yes Se inferior lol. Well it's amazing, I love it. Great job you two
how can I join the CS Joseph discord server?
Entj female and Istj male- concerns, strengths, opinions- go. 😉
cool lecture - deep, new info
the cigar was frustrating
Get used to disappointment
@@CSJoseph motto of all my life XD
let’s see how well that mahomes statement holds up
So far so good..2 back-to-back SB rings for a total of 3 so far. After watching "Quarterbacks", I agree w/ Chase. Mahomes has a competitive advantage as a QB that sets him apart...multi-talented athlete, the way he is trained, SI hero memory combined w/ Te parent.. the dude is a powerhouse. He is sharp.
istjs are kind of underrated
they are extremely underrated
Love the part about being the best you can be no matter what your strengths and struggles are.
Yeah in your previous videos you went pretty hard on ISTJ's and trashed them.. there are flavours to each type
🥺 intp version coming soon?
INTP is always the 15th type in a series.
Is that a lancero vitola? Bro chase, I don’t know how long you’ve been into cigars, I have for the last couple of months. So fun. We gotta have a stogie together sometime!!
Chase, what would CG Jung's type be?
offers.csjoseph.life/famous
INTP
@@CSJosephthis site sucks... natalie Portman for example is ISTJ but they listed her as INFJ
We need more intj vidoes so we feel better about our selves @_@
That's the Fi child complex and Se inferior in a nutshell lol
Does the cognitive focus of a personality affect the would-be relationship they will have and its effectivity towards them? As an example my mother, an unconscious-focused ISTJ now in her 3rd quarter life phase, has a hard time with her Ne inferior (she's very pessimistic of things that might happen and always on the look out for like a grim future state) but her decision making functions are well balanced (her Te/Fi ego with her Ti/Fe shadow saved us a lot during hard times). Is it possible that the outcome of the integration of the 4 sides differ by having a different focus even by the same personality like my mother who acts more like an ENTP/ISFJ (variant of her unconscious) when she's unafraid rather than the subconscious focused variant ESFP/INTJ?
Yes, focus moves as we develop.
why istjs are very controlling?
Which are best Engineering field jobs for ISTJ?
Network Engineer
Is Data Analyst good Career for ISTJ? I am asking because Ne inferior not getting ideas to find solutions...
@@dt1944 yeah… most data analysts and data scientists are istjs
This is me.
I'm an ENFP sure, I like your videos when ignoring your God complex but 10 minutes in, you're about celebrities and your own personal crush or something. Like you said, feels bias to say the least. You really would gain a lot from not feeling that special lol
lol all types are biased. ALL.
Are you left handed?
is pepper potts in iron man an istj? or just intj in her isfj superego?
I hope not, with Tony Stark being an ENTP.
@@CSJoseph csj said "istjs are the only sensor type I'd consider being intimate with due to emotional compatibility" in this lecture.
@@master_of_the_hellish_yard what does that mean? I've seen a lot of Si inferior men being men and giving women comfort like a good husband/bf would
@@master_of_the_hellish_yard aah!! i do relate to this!! icky is the right word. And as for infp i feel a hope but then they have this sulking and "bitter rage" kind of energy which is nasty
@@master_of_the_hellish_yard I think chase has also mentioned Si users giving their Se users a lot of choices in order to make them feel good. I think its all about maturity. I dont take him seriously on his sexuality and relationship stuff. Dude has a plethora of bad relationships with messed up ppl as well as apparently two broken marriages and one broken engagement
Tyler the creator might be the least boring person in existence
I find him to be quirky.
What’s up dad 😅
BEL15VE!!
ISTJs aren't for me -INFP
Big no for me too-infp ..like no… my ex is an istj love him to death but no …we still close till this day I’m the only person who makes him do fun stuff but it hard to get him out of that confort zone…
@@melino9709 can I ask is the reason the emotional or the sexual functions what made it not work ? Is it just si risk averse ?
@@malakashraf2801
Hi did you get your answers about ISTJ INFP relationship?
I'm curious too
@@OSMANMohammad-q1q no, sorry
Good to know about helping ISTJs to take risks, and then they aren't stuck with the boring label, since they really aren't, as you say, upon further review. Still have to constantly remind myself about the role of Si and Te users: to lead where status is necessary for the codified respect to do their work in and among the community. Drives me insane otherwise to heed that need for status and mistakenly throw it in the pride bin automatically.
Still mega struggling with this female orbit scenario. I think something is still really inaccurate with that but struggling to find a proper analogy. I emphatically agree that men are not to be mere satellites of women's agenda either, and that is the pathetic trash our culture sells, and leads right to the deception Babylon enforces with the female priest fertility junk.
I don't think women in sexual/marriage relationships are satellites that orbit men as the full picture. I don't think men are uninvolved at a distance from the home base, sending a radio wave of communication back and forth, with the satellite following instructions, but otherwise not present in each others daily lives. That orbit analogy also doesn't line up with how single women can operate independently, though with male leadership, and then seamlessly submit in a logical way.
In reality the confusion seems to be that the male sexual outcome and male practice is to dock into the home base of the woman. He does not orbit the woman to do this, and he often goes independently, in a sense, for much of his time outside of that dock to collect valuable information, and to pioneer direction, for which he his handsomely paid. Then he returns to the benefit of stability provided by attention and nurturing care and input given within, to then go back out and work again.
I think women have their individual call that occupies them, that emanates from within the man's direction and provision to manage the home base. I don't think a man follows her direction, but he does intimately give her direction from the strength of all of his efforts and privileges. So in a sense there is a function of women orbiting men, but not entirely in the distant way you describe. I don't think you are representing the benefit the man receives from his home base, that he provides first unto himself, that the woman maintains for him within her individuality coming to life, through him.
Now do men experience that benefit because women don't receive fulfilling direction and provision and because they go their own way both by the way of men passively allowing society to teach this and by usurping men's position? Though this has happened, the solve is not that women can properly lead the orbit to be fulfilled by it. Wouldn't that invalidate masculinity? What if men sabotage themselves by not understanding this, especially if they lack this positive experience of leading and delegating and being involved but not led by women? Maybe it's idealim in a broken world, but why aim for brokenness? Why not encourage both women to follow men AND men to lead women and remain loyal? I'm not saying forget the sin of women, I'm saying overcome it, and have confidence and faith that women worth those men will follow.
Interesting take.
Bugs bunny ENTP *would* smoke a cigar lol
Sexuality trumps personality type
Intrigue
Refinement
Trust
Respect
Affectionate
Companion
Natural
Responsible
Straight-edge
Considerate of partner
Be consistently considerate
Always factor them in!
Sensible
Take responsibility for you
Protects you
They don’t need much
dude, where's the person writting the list on every video. come on, we need you to do your job :D lol
Man is NOT God so a Woman shouldn't put his life above her life.
Only partnership. Equal efforts. Equal respect.
All the rest is bullshit.
False. This is entirely false.