At 56 years old I finally realized I’m alone in this world, have spent my entire life surrounded by abusive narcs. Finally decided to cut ties with toxic people. It’s definitely quiet but the peace it brings is unspeakable
I’m turning 50 this year. I also have no friends, and I’ve distanced myself from my family. I have cptsd from childhood which makes me feel uncomfortable/fear around people. People say join a club/group to meet people but that’s hard since I feel awkward and anxious. So here I am lying in bed awake at 2.21 am watching this video. Knowing I’m not the only one like this is comforting. Best of luck to everyone in this situation ❤️
I feel you, Steve I'm 18 and I never had any friends in my life people who I considered my "Friends" betrayed me every time except one but now he moved to another town, I feel really lonely and depressed.
Now I've been 3 years with no friends and my family is kind of negligent with a 14 year old boy, so I don't feel comfortable with them either when I'm " socializing" I feel it is just like the weird part of the day you know.
I was recently diagnosed with autism & adhd with CPTSD ( yeah alot I know lol ) and the only thing I’ve ever felt was that I’m an alien. I WANT people. I WANT the engagement. But what do I have? What’s left for me? I don’t even know… being diagnosed with Autism has been my life changing moment. It’s doesn’t fix everything, not the pain, not the abandonment but sometimes it helps me realize what I’m going through. I’m stuck. But I’m trying…
That’s a lot to find out and process for sure. I definitely get about feeling like an alien haha. I thought I was a freak with all those negative feelings, finding out what it was, was a huge relief. A normal response to an abnormal childhood. Good luck on your healing journey
That's the thing with Social Media as well. FB, Instagram, Twitter etc.... Everyone is so happy and posts about the fantastic achievements and how happy and successful they are and everything is perfect. However, that is so far from the truth and real life that you might as well open up a fairytale book, because its the same thing.
I can relate. I'm 33 and about to turn 34. I'm still living with my parents, unmarried, no kids, and haven't had any friends for years. I didn't go to college and have been stuck in the same dead end job for the last 15 years, which is also about to come to an end now that the company is closing. I feel like my life is static and I haven't achieved any personal growth or development and life is just passing me by.
Go join a sport or social group, make friends and maybe even find a woman or man, there’s plenty of resources and opportunities out there you just need to make the effort or push to get these things.
Same here, i'm 27 and been stuck on same job for 3 years, i go to college, met many people but somehow still stuck in the same condition, no friend, anxious to attend college, low paid and boring job I'm just afraid my youth is passing before i even enjoy it...
No parents, no family(taken by CPS at 10 due to the most horrendous abuse the cops have ever seen in that area) None of the other family cared for me so they never even tried. Friendless, no family and living in a studio appartment by myself with 2 minimum wage jobs. Never have achieved anything sure tried, but failed at every turn.
@@DUMPSTERDIVINGADELAIDE123 I saw! So much strange stuff in The trash😂Have you made content facing the camera and just having a chat? Maybe people would Get to know you more? I know you have experiences I dont have, We all live so different lives, and hearing your viewpoint would be really interesting. Have a great day. Its night time here now.
@@karenthue8978 - only live chat with my channel but you don't actually make friends, just RUclips friends, like Facebook friends, not actual physical friends, just seems to be some people have family and friends & some don't, I can't fathom it, Have a nice weekend... All these people are in other countries
@@senseofstile " However there are three things everyone wants; money, good health, and true love." Ironically I have purposely chosen NOT to chase money or true love, and have never had a lonely day in my life.
I'm an electrical engineer too (BSEE & MSEE), I live in Silicon Valley, I bought a home here. I actually came from a very poor background. My family was extremely dysfunctional. I have no family today. No family, no friends, and no love. I'm invisible. Christmas pretty much sucks balls to be this alone. I've lost interest in most things - and have spent the last of my saved money. If I were to disappear only the bill collectors and employer would notice.
@@linchpin5481 Do you have any sheet music for what you're playing on your RUclips channel? I've got Logic Pro X and can mix/master. I've got Final Cut Pro X for video editing too. Works pretty well.
I'm an elderly lady, I don't have any friends, I'm alone, no one has wanted to be in my life as friends for years. I'm pretty much like you are. But I don't let it get me down. Perhaps God is Prepping us for something Greater to come. Think of your life like that, & don't let it bring you down.
Guys I'm exhausted physically and mentally tired im 30 , jobless staying in my room all day depressed and severe anxiety . No friends at all no one to talk to , zero social skills , thinking of ending it all more often then ever I'm so sorry i couldn't sleep last night and burst out crying myself silently i really need your help , i can't see myself living this life for the next 2or1 yrs Iike this. I'm so sorry.thanks if you're reading this .English is not my first language. I feel like I really need someone who knows me i really do
Well said I asked myself in a world full of millions around us how in the world can we be so alone and stuck in a groundhog day but it's so real reality you said it perfectly
There are a lot of reasons for this, no one single cause. But to make it short, inventions within the realm of communication are largely the reason for this phenomenon, as well as the constant cultural shifts that have happened over the last 150 or so years. You could write an entire novel about the various reasons for the decline in social stability within the average man and womans lives, and why loneliness is at an all time high despite humanity having a larger population than ever before in our history. It's hard to sum it all up concisely in a single youtube comment.
Loneliness is being forced upon people in my opinion. For years the media have been glorifying life outside of the family unit and love. Glorifying hookup culture, violence, guns, money anything that can turn our minds against the idea that we're SUPPOSED to LOVE. Like out natural urge as humans is to LOVE. But somehow this agenda of keeping people separate and isolate seems to be seeping through every crack in society to the point where its unstoppable. This is the last stage of divide and conquer. Those with empathy and that natural urge to love will be the ones depressed. Those lacking will be the ones that follow.
These people that you referring to who "moved" with their lives, they got stuck in their own tiny universe, and they are not necessarily happier then you are. I wish you good luck my friend.
Same 57 though is a long haul, even people you did have relationship with get I'll, loss of clarity and pass away. Just a sad state of affairs life can become.
@@buffy2257 7 billion people on this planet and u would think that there is someone for everyone. Idk. I was with my ex husband for 28 years . Shit went down the tube. I dont like being alone at all. I'm sorry. I live you as long as your a good person. 🙏🏼❤
Hugs darling, you are not only one, but 37 is truly young! I too need to feel loved, and I have 3 adult children just alone! Most of my family has died, it sucks.
This was exactly what i needed. No job, no money, no hopes, no dreams, a box to live in, no friends no family, no one checking in no reason to live. I stay going in hopes that one day things will change. Maybe its worth nothing or maybe ill get past it someday. Godspeed brother.
You have to be content in your own company, once you accept that you will enjoy been alone- my son is 43 and the same. He is good looking but only one who never married. Because he’s a hard worker, he enjoys work mates as friends. He looks forward to solitude- at end of week. He’s happy- he loves animals- had a cat. You can love an animal- gives you purpose to care for something. My dad never married until he was 46- he was happy on his own- until then. Appreciate your time- is precious. Happiness is a conscious effort to choose to be happy. Friends are overrated- they borrow- they lie- they use- they play with your feelings.
Mentally I used to be 12 yo aged 30 (in 2001). I learned a lot since 05/2020 from a Udemy course "12 in 1 sales and influence mastery". Wish I could have learned this 30 years ago when I was 21.
@@deeppurple883 My daughters each have three nationalities/passports (South African, Russian, United Kingdom 🇬🇧). Myself dual citizenship South African & UK. But yes I feel like Ive just learned what most people already experienced when they where 18, so yes basically two birth certificates 🤣
Maybe you are searching for something that you cant chase physically. I would advice you to read the Quran. And give it am honest try bcs you owe that to yourself.
@P Jeffery no way! I was an expat meaning I worked for a USA company paid In Usd but lived in Asia best way to go I made ten times the local wages.. you won’t be able to live on local pay unless you are very high up. You can do online work as a consultant or other jobs like programming
Believe it or not I lost touch with friends when I had cancer. Now it’s just me. I understand to a degree how you feel my friend. I will be praying for Gods favor in your life.
I hear you there! I'm almost 49 years old, have autism and also severely depressed, never had friends and live a house that I was raised in for 46 years, parents deceased, my brother got married and wants nothing to do with me. So I feel for you man!
Go out and do things that you've always wanted to do. Start a RUclips channel and document your journey. Before you know it you'll have a community of strangers all rooting for you. It's NEVER too late to become who you want to!
I totally feel you, bro. I'm 47 and I don't talk much about my loneliness because I'm often depicted as one who's simply victimizing myself. It's rough. One thing I won't do is try and end my life because of it though. I figure I have an eternity to be dead; life is just a small window of our overall existence. I'm going to try and find happiness SOMEhow while my heart still beats.....somehow. Best wishes to you, man.
If you don't have anybody then how come you aren't talking to people in the streets? Or any area? It's not like people are living away from others. Not sure how come you sending that video to people.
@@JustinQuaid-u8v It’s not that simple. Talking to random strangers isn’t going to fix the deeper aspect of loneliness, which is having no deep and meaningful connections in your life. Also, it is often frowned upon to go and chat up to random people on the streets. People will not receive it necessarily very kindly. Especially in some cultures such as where I live, it’s absolutely not acceptable. Add to the fact that the me too movement made especially man vary of approaching women, this has caused them to steer away from approaching others altogether. If there’s a high likelihood of you being accused of being a harasser, you’re not going to start to have a conversation with a stranger. It’s often seen invasive and weird. That’s unfortunately the current social culture. People are cold and distant, and more inclined to be exclusive to new people and not wanting to add any more members to their inner social clique. People aren’t as connected as they were before, and technology has exacerbated this issue.
Why not risk everything while you're still alive. Just do something you really like to do, go for it and follow through! I used to be depressed, lived in a small (and cheap) studio and had a job that gave some feeling of importance. After doing this job for 10 years, I had my yearly vacation. All the years before, I was kinda looking forward to going back to the job, but that year I had no interest in this job anymore. An exciting, but scary idea came to my head: what if I just quit that job?? After that idea and the excitement I felt about quitting that job, my head started racing with possibilities and I wrote a manifesto for myself for things I had to do to get out of the sh*thole I was in. I quit my job, bought a small house that I wanted to renovate all by myself (without any experience), got myself a simple job (in an amusement park) and 3 years later, I am a lot happier person. When I look back at those 10 years, then it just felt like I was just standing still for this whole time. I did have some of the most chaotic periods in my life after I quit that job and changed my life-style, but it was all worteth. Good luck to you and I hope you find the courage to take a gamble with your life!!!!! You have nothing to lose!!!!
How come people still talking to others in school and I see couples every area I go to. Not everybody is manipulated by things people hear. People should not jump to conclusions@@roosaas
Don't feel too bad. I'm in my fifties in the same boat, except I didn't do the great things you did, just wasted away year after year. Went crawling back to mom's spare room in my 50's, talk about humiliating. I did get out of there, but like you have no real friends, relationship, etc. I think the solution is for people like us to socialize together, because most have built families by your age and that is the main factor in our loneliness. It's just the nature of today's society to spend nearly all your time with your new family and there's nothing wrong with that. Let's be the solution we need, rather than dwell on what cannot be changed! Much love brother, hold on strong.
Mate this is very wise words, you should try and build up a group or something for people like minded or in sane situation in your area, you'd could be a real comfort for one another
I became dad for first time aged 39 in 2010! I'm a 15 yo stuck in the body of a 49 year old. A Udemy course about influence and pursuasion taught me a lot about how to impove my behavior. The course was "12 in 1 sales and influence mastery". Also look for courses by Chris Croft. I only learned this when I was already 48 yo. Wish I could have learned this 30 years ago when I was 21.
Sigh, nothing more empty then calling someone brave online...it's like saying I pray for you...that's the bare minimum you could do. It's just empty words
@infiniteshoeblack in a way you and @itApproaches are right. This guy should help himself and seek for help from somewhere else too. Like learning how to meditate and/or meeting a psychotherapist and all that. But the positive side in these kind of posts, is that our knowledge grows. We learn more about depression. Maybe this guy has learned a bunch by these comments and maybe he feels better because of all the attention he gets. Yeah.. this is not a perfect world and we people arent always right and doing the right things. Its so easy to hate and pick on peoples flaws in these comment sections.
Is weird, too, be ause hearing someone say s/ he's lonely can be experienced as off putting. You envision someone too needy or just overall undesirable. Yet we possess a host of WONDERFUL qualities that would be enriching to others. It us profoubdly frustraring and sad. It is one thing to never find ones mate and life partner. Thats,a tre.endous misfortune for those of us who wanted that, but to be void of friendships. Whew!
@@rudymalizia8842 The average young man working in Target or Walmart never gets even the slightest attention from a woman , plus they have zero confidence in themselves. Its a life of loneliness, gaming and porn. Day after day and year after year men just become apathetic towards life. Its tough to be around a needy person and few want to help one, This is real life.
I hope you are in a better place now. I can relate to the loneliness, lack of motivation and endlessly reviewing the past to figure out how I ended up here. Thanks for your bravery. There are 7k comments and 46k likes on your post. You are definitely not alone.
I was ostracised from my family over a decade ago. One day while working a contract job I was in my car eating lunch in a Walmart parking lot. In front of me was a car that had one of those decals on the back and it said " If God is all you have, God is all you need ". Those words have stuck with me through thick and thin and I keep it close to my heart to this day. Stay strong my friend !
@@PlantSurgeon-growth i know where you're coming from, but STEM and medicine fields are a little different. Depends what you want to do really, if you dream of being a doctor, you need to be qualified
@@joekerr5418 its yes and no. respect both views. degree's are helpful, but also ppl with degrees cant find jobs also. i think different perspective's is the equilibrium approach. open mindedness and no not to say estranged and off the deep end and unrealistic, just consideration for others views
I feel your pain. What's weird is that I'm 48, I have a wife and family and I'm a professor. Everyone seems to love me, but my anxiety and depression makes me feel like I'm totally alone and isolated, like nobody knows the real me. People look at me and would never imagine that I feel like I'm stuck on a desert island all alone.
The pain really intensifies when you no longer can use your family, job or bank account as a distraction. You feel alone in your own head, like an outsider. I did everything society told me to do…marriage, kids, mortgage, but the emptiness is still there as a constant companion.
Thank you so much for your honesty. I hope a lot of people read your comment and understand that, family, friends, job, position in society does not bring us lasting joy or happiness. I don't want to advise you on how to find meaning and purpose in life; but as one who has pursued higher education and have experience family and worldly success; it did me no good. I was depressed and prayed for death to put an end to my miserable existence every single day. As soon as I woke up, first thing I did was pray for death. Then I started to meditate on the Word of God; and have a mantra running through my consciousness constantly: "By His stripes I am healed." This practice of deep meditating on the love of God and being grateful for the blessings in my life has been a game changer; as it can be for everyone who would try. I also took certain supplements that enhance brain function and mood: Sam-e, 5HTP, Fish Oil, Magnesium, etc. Sometimes if we are lacking vital nutrients; depression and anxiety is the end result. God's speed my brother. The heart is a lonely hunter.
@@freespirit-111 I feel your pain my sister. The fact is: family, friends, job, position in society does not bring us lasting joy or happiness. I don't want to advise you on how to find meaning and purpose in life; but as one who has pursued higher education and have experience family and worldly success; it did me no good. I was depressed and prayed for death to put an end to my miserable existence every single day. As soon as I woke up, first thing I did was pray for death. Then I started to meditate on the Word of God; and have a mantra running through my consciousness constantly: "By His stripes I am healed." This practice of deep meditating on the love of God and being grateful for the blessings in my life has been a game changer; as it can be for everyone who would try. I also took certain supplements that enhance brain function and mood: Sam-e, 5HTP, Fish Oil, Magnesium, etc. Sometimes if we are lacking vital nutrients; depression and anxiety is the end result. God's speed my brother. The heart is a lonely hunter.
Because you never got to know yourself and enjoyed your time alone perhaps. Being alone and not feeling lonely is a soul journey that will make you happier than ever.
I’m 42 I feel your pain. Single for years, chronic illness, no friends etc but we’re not dead yet There’s still time to turn things around. I think it starts with baby steps 💕
It just takes a one good day to turn things around... stay positive eyes open and opportunities will come. Being a hermit and doing nothing won't help.
I can relate, thank you for sharing. I haven't even travelled a lot. Losing my job as we speak. Always worked parttime because of my anxiety and depression, never had a lot of money. 51 and single. No kids. Hang in there everyone!
Im 38 years old and once i felt the same as you. I was in the same situation too. No therapy helped, no pills, no specialists. I was devastated by my lonely life. One day I realized that I had no influence on certain things in my life. I also realized that I cannot make happiness dependent on everything that the world imposes on us. I realized that not everyone has the same script (friends, social life, good job, wife, kids..). I accepted my life as it is and began to enjoy the smallest things. I don't expect much from life because expectation is the enemy of happiness. Nothing in my life has changed except that I am happy with myself. This is perhaps the healthiest way to deal with loneliness. It is not easy, no one said that life would be like that. Accept reality, find other goals, priorities, love yourself, appreciate the gift of life, no matter what it is. It's normal that we want to be needed by someone, we want to be loved, but we don't have 100% influence on it, so we can't blame ourselves. Be happy with yourself, live your life with dignity, do not make happiness dependent on anything. Be happy here and now.
ThankU so much for taking the time to share that🥲 no lie it made me tear up a lil bit & I needed to read that.. I let go of my family a while ago & my 2 older brothers as well this year.. I am doing the best I can to go on with the rest of my life. But thankyou for that ❤
27 here, came to the same conclusion recently and, no joke, just being happy with myself gave me the confidence to start socializing more. Happiness MUST come from within for anything to change.
Here's the deal. You've been caught up in this notion that you should conform to everyone else's path. You've been battling your own mind, thinking you must fit a certain mold. But the breakthrough came for me around 5 years ago when I embraced the truth-I don't have to be like everyone else. It's alright not to be married, not to have kids, not to possess remarkable skills or defined passions. It's fine to have a history of mistakes. At 44, I said enough to this internal struggle that haunted me for years. A shift occurred within me. I made a conscious decision to accept myself, acknowledging my lack of conventional skills, numerous mistakes, solo status, and apparent flaws. I embraced being what many would label a "loser." Strangely, by genuinely liking myself despite all this, it was like flicking a switch. The deep-seated depression that plagued me for over a decade vanished overnight. For years, I lived in constant discontent, each day a struggle. Now, for the past 5 years, it's the complete opposite. I'm consistently happy, content, and unfazed by most things. All it took was accepting and liking who I am. I've come to appreciate not fitting the mold; it's become a positive aspect. Life's all about perspective, and a simple change in outlook can make all the difference.
40. An abusive upbringing kept me from a career, marriage, kids, etc. But now I realise that I didn't want any of that. I'm actually glad to have eschewed it. I definitely don't consider myself a "loser". I'm an intelligent and happy autodidact. I love engaging my passions -- film, music, culinary challenges, esoterica/spirituality, fragrances, style, psychology, philosophy. I love being by myself, and I never get lonely. I walk everywhere (never learned to drive), and I particularly like 3-4am walks. Good luck doing that with a family and inflexible responsibility. I love a sedentary life, but this is perfect way to get that exercise in. I did abort my study but picked up some contracting work through a friend in the field; I think it helps to have at least one person you're in frequent contact with (one good friend). And a little bit of work you enjoy helps. I actually feel like most other people are wasting their life. They're unhappy and greedy. They've no time for themselves. They've no spiritual connection. They've no connection to their body. And then they obviously haven't seen, read or listened to as much as I. I have no regrets. I like losing people that I've loved. I like missing them, but I don't want them. If you clicked your finger and gave me my perfect woman and kids, I would reject it. When I am dying, I will embrace it. If there's another phase, I'll have opened that aperture. Others will not have relinquished their baggage -- ego, fear, love, hate, trauma, guilt, etc. I often parse out my past. I don't feel the need to integrate my parents. I may live the life I was pushed towards, but it also happens to be the life I want.
@@kazman_6899 When I mentioned "loser," I was referring to society's conventional standards - someone like me who lacks marriage, children, a flourishing career, or deep friendships. However, I don't personally consider myself a loser. My definition of success revolves around being exceptionally fit. I find fulfillment in leading a straightforward life without unnecessary complexities, content with my role as a mere observer on this planet.
Loneliness along with depression are prolly some of the worst things a human can experience,living in a prolonged state of depression is basically hell😷good luck to everyone dealing with this🎇
Careful listened to him and i can only admit am heading to the same fate.. Every choice we make in life no matter how small it might seem it contributes to the future.
Same with me man, 38, lonely and stuck, been trying everything to keep me motivated but still feeling empty, drinking every single night, hard to get sober, anxiety every night.. keep strong buddy, take care, from Indonesia 🇮🇩
Definitely get sober. At the very least, you won’t suffer from annoying hangovers anymore. Alcohol is a depressant. I am wishing much love to come your way. The world is a better place with you in it. Never forget that. A friend. ❤
You NEED to stop drinking. It will destroy you. Whatever you think the drink is giving you, it's a lie. A lie tha the drug tells you. There s no easy way. It will feel like crap but there is no alternative. It gets better after a couple of months. Pick up a simple habit of running every morning force you get up and start the day and distract you. You can do it. Bu don't look for an easy way.
You didn’t squander your money, you had an adventure. This is just a blip. I didn’t leave home till I was 34, met my husband then spent 5 years of having a few lovely holidays, had my first baby at 42 and my husband was 47 . I felt great when I finally got my husband and baby. That was 18 years ago and I count my blessings. Still have things to do and am trying. Your life will turn around when you least expect it to
You sound like me and I hope to have a baby at 40-42 too, as I just found at 35 who I want to have a baby with and he doesn’t have Cluster B personalities like others I’ve been with. Feel blessed. Just wish I had met him earlier and avoided NPD (narcissistic personality disorder ) and ASPD (sociopathy) heartache
We're about the same age. Can I tell you something critical? Finding someone to be with doesn't mean you won't be lonely anymore. And when you're married but feel misunderstood and alone, that hurts far worse.
There are so many lonely people out there hiding. Help people. Be of service. Smile and speak. You will find people who need you. Make that your purpose. The world needs kindness and heros.
Man I feel this on so many levels. It didn't really set in until I allowed myself to be single for a while. Having a girlfriend around was more a distraction to my lifestyle than anything else. Being a full-time content creator and "work-from-home" person in a new city during covid has really pulled the curtains back and made me rethink how I treat life. Mom and Dad passed away, just my grandparents (god bless them) and it's hard to not spiral and abuse substances when thinking about it. What I've learned to do is meditate and constantly remind myself what is currently happening around me and not what my mind wants me to feel. I practice stoicism, I go for walks often, I work out, and soon I hope i will muster the courage to walk up to strangers and try to make friends soon. God bless bro, it will get better!
I feel you man. Working out I think honestly saved my life. Something to focus on, i find it cathartic at times, other times it drives me to want to better myself. But i almost always feel better after it. I would advocate consciously trying to live healthily, as much as your depressed mind wants you to slump into bed and eat ice cream all the time, to eat well and exercise. It will no longer be a chore and living a healthy life will become 2nd nature. Joy will come as a result of that. If you can fit some meditation in there too, great!
@Block Chain i dont know exactly what you would call it. I guess mindfulness, this does not involve chanting. But i have used apps like Headspace or WakingUp. I think they would help anyone who finds themselves getting distracted when trying to meditate. I found these very useful to guide you through, as a beginner. You may have to pay for them, but i think it is worth it for a clear head. I feel i can now take 5 minutes alone and do those techniques myself, unaided.
You most likely have financial stability tho. Imagine feeling like all this stuff, parents dying, streaming and content creation going downhill, and like nothing is going anywhere. This is what is going on with me, and it hurts pretty bad, even after trying really hard to fix things.
You said: "When you don't care about anything; when you don't care about life itself..." That's an essential point for me. People are often confused by my attitude, or by the choices I make in life. Example: A guy drove his car straight through the wall of my house and into my living room. People kept saying: "You're taking this remarkably calmly!" They didn't know or understand that when you spend most nights contemplating suicide you're just not going to care about a hole in the wall.
this is why i find the whole field of psychology funny because they think they can understand our minds, which would take 2 lifetimes of study. i don't see the point of attempting it.
I'm 39, I have a husband and 3 fur babies and parents BUT at times, I still feel lonely. Some of the most depressed ppl who end up self harming...to the point of no return- are wealthy and have a ton of "friends". You have to be content within yourself and that'll shine through. People don't like depressed people, fake it til you make it! Pray, burn sage, Palo Santo, read, meditation helps, fasting helps, exercising helps! I'm saying this bc I know it works.
Hey buddy, rest assure you're not alone. I was on antidepressants since i was 16 and now at 29 i came off it having severe anxiety. Lost my mother 2 years ago and now i have no friends and no family. At this moment all I want is my own stability and family but my 4yr relationship is coming to an end. Totally get how you're feeling about work. You shouldn't feel bad about traveling around that's wonderful memories. Also it's nice that you still have a house to stay in. I know it's so hard to stay hopeful, I struggle with it everyday. But for what it's worth we try. I heard a phrase today it says believing in fear and believing in faith both takes effort. You seem like a really nice fella. Would love to be your friend if only I'm on your side of the world!
I'm 32 just ended a 12 year relationship (I lost my best friend), and my first best friend was killed many years ago, and realized I have no support system. I reached out to my therapist and psychiatrist and random strangers on the internet. It helped but I crave a physical connection. Everyone says they'll be there when you need them, but then you don't want to be an inconvenience.
Wow! What a heartless comment. He’s trying not to be an inconvenience and you’re telling him to stop burdening people. You shouldn’t be on this page upsetting others. He seems like a lovely person.
Stay strong! I'm a loner (46 y.o.) and have my mom but she's 80. No kids. I am really scared about getting older and having no one. I think about it all the time! Thanks for this video. I thought I was the only one.
I feel ya. I'm 43 and my mom is 71 and we are roomates because cost of living here is too dang high. I feel the same way. I don't want to live the rest of my life with my insecurities. I would like to overcome them as I am ultimately getting older and then having no one just makes me really anxious.
I'm almost 57. I've been single about 15 years now. His story and feelings could easily be mine. Many people fill their lives with empty friendships to "fill the void." I do not recommend this. I've learned to go out to bars by myself, movies by myself, and even restaurants alone. I've learned to enjoy and appreciate my own company. Its better to be alone than spend time with the wrong people.
You seem like a perfectly likeable, gentle, sensitive and loveable person from my perspective, and I'm sure any person watching's perspective. Im 47, 37 is not old or too late for anything. I wish you heartfelt luck and energy in getting to a better place.
I'm 38 in a few weeks time. I feel the same, I'm stuck living at home, in a minimum wage job, getting minimum hours work, no relationship, no prospects of one, a constant failure at most things. I do enjoy talking to people but also feel awkward in larger groups, which I usually avoid. The only good thing I have going for me right now is I love making RUclips videos about collecting movies, that's as good as it is for me at the moment. I appreciate you sharing your story.
@MissX W No one said they were unthankful. But wouldn't they feel better if they could provide for themselves? No one wants to be dependent on another person.
I started jogging everyday and that improved my sleeping problem and my depression. Then I found a hobby and that is keeping me happy. I had difficulty focusing on a single task. Once I was able to focus on a single task, such as getting a job, I stopped thinking about the other things. Being able to maintain focus throughout the day really helped me.
If you have no where to jog or walk, march in place at 10 minute intervals at least twice a day. Lifts your mood, clears the mind, good for the body. Love to all here!
@@nahlabella4857 Good advice!! Do some sit ups and push ups. Go on ebay and buy some used weight plates and a used barbell. Start a training exercise regimen 5X a week. It will make you feel alive again. Clears your head. I'm 66 with prostate cancer, and I live in a 1 bedroom apartment. If I can do it,you can too!!
It’s scary how accurate the yt algo is like how do they know that every single thing this man says mirrors my very existence. It’s not like I’m even looking that stuff up. I hope you’re doing better now brother and I’m sure by now from all the comments you know you’re not alone in your struggle. You deserve happiness.
No need to compromise. It is tough. But it is better to be alone at your age than be like those who go to bed with someone they don’t even want to see naked.
I found that giving made me happier. Volunteering for charities and helping people and animals gave me a reason. I would give that a try and you’ll find like minded people also.
You gave, but did they truly care? Highly unlikely if not completely impossible for the people, but the animals most likely did feel grateful and genuinely happy when seeing you in their own way.
@@Veganism_is_death-vh2un It's not just a matter of loneliness - it's a matter of purpose. For women, it partially satisfies their maternal nature but for most guys, it's not going to fulfill the desire to have a partner and a real family. Getting an animal that simply sticks around because you feed it cannot be compared to the deep dynamics that go into a relationship with a spouse and raising kids.
@@Bristecom I beg to differ on that opinion..just look at the likes of who found a young cat on his travels and proceeded to travel Europe by bicycle with this cat as his companion.. pets when treated as companions have so much to give back not just dependency.
@@Veganism_is_death-vh2un absolutely..It's cars for me but yes dogs are wonderful companions too. It's what you give( the time/love / communication) that you get back with these animals and they never judge or double-cross 😊
38 and I’m right here with you. What I’m finding is that when I do find other humans, most are unpleasant, disrespectful, all about that rat-race, self-centered and just narcissistic. I hope you find a way that gets you where you eventually decideto be.
I get really bad vibes from people too. I’m sometimes not quite sure what they mean and if I ask I get snarked at! I always feel that the snark is because I actually spotted something when I wasn’t supposed to and that is why it irks them 😣
Hi,ty for being so honest about this. I am in a very similar position. So makes me realise I’m not alone with it. I’m 46 now,I had long relationship that lasted 12 years. That was over 10 years ago. Since then I have had attempts at relationships. But they never work out. I too find it hard to see the good in people. Really hard to trust.There doesn’t seem to be any genuine people out there anymore. Everyone’s judgemental. I find being single at my age. People think it’s wierd. They need to put people in a box and label it. As it makes them feel better in some way. Like you I don’t feel like I serve any purpose. But I try to put my attention in family. People I love. Maybe we are here to live this kind of life to try to understand ourselves. If we were surrounded by friends and women. Would we have time to understand ourselves?Would we be the same person,have the same amount of compassion for others? I try to think, there has to be a reason behind everyone’s life situation. The smallest actions sometimes have a massive affect. The ripple affect in water. With this video you have touched so many lives. Total respect from me. Also. Women love an honest man. It’s a rare thing nowadays. So I see some offers coming your way. You will be fine 👍
I got divorced at 36. I was living in a bed sit. Now at 43 I’m married, own a home, just got a great new job, my wife’s pregnant and I’m happy. Not to gloat, my point is have hope. There’s still lots to live for!
Here's the thing I was devoted to my man 26 years and he got tired of me. If devotion can't keep a man happy then I've got nothing to offer another person.
As strange as it seems, here is the way women view you. If you haven't been married and divorced by your mid 30's, women view you as the devil. If you are divorced in your mid 30's, women think you are God.
I feel exactly this same way. Am 43 and there is no purpose, no husband, no kids, no friends - nothing - it’s a whole heap of nothing. It all started with my divorce - friends disappeared and all my dreams of family and kids vanished. I was so close and all my dreams got snatched away in a blink. Empty empty - I do have a job but it’s the only thing I have - does not make a difference. My depression, anxiety and ptsd are my companions now - so empty - just like you wondering why can’t anyone love me for who I am. I am a good person - very kind, honest, loving, compassionate - but apparently not enough 😣 don’t feel alone - as you can see there’s a lot of us feeling stuck…feeling like our soul is crushed - feeling everyone else is happy while we are stuck and staring as everyone else lives happily ever after. You’ve already made a difference by sharing - it’s made my morning today a bit easier to tolerate - your video helped me - you are making a difference. I put a podcast out a few months back - no one even watched it. But see you have helped so many of us. Hugs!! You’re not alone.
This guy has accomplished so much in life and by having the bravery to post this on RUclips, he's accomplishing so much more than most people could ever hope to.
It's different. When you are estranged from your family, there is always a chance that might change. When family simply does not EXIST, has never existed...you could not possibly relate. Just like I can't relate when someone says to me, "Sure, we've had our differences, but you know, s/he will always be my sister)brother" or "You know how family is." No, I don't. I have no frame of reference for concepts like that. I grew up without parents, aunt's, uncle's, siblings, or cousins. I have no children, nieces or nephews. I have no living blood relatives, haven't had any for nearly 20yrs, since my grandparents died. No one has ever called me daughter, sister, niece, cousin, aunt or mom, & no one ever will. I am no one to anyone, & I never will be. I am profoundly & irretrievably disconnected from the rest of humanity, whom I can clearly see, are all quite naturally & effortlessly interconnected. I'm like a free radical,meandering through a Universe without a proper place, bumping into stuff, shaking tñings up, then ricocheting off to my next random collision!
Ain't that the truth. If you come from a really big family -- and they've turned on you (for whatever reason) -- it's like the trauma of leaving a long time cult. They're sadistic and cruel and will never let you go, leave you be, or treat you respectfully. It's shunning. And then things to disrespect you - try to irritate you. Constantly.
I'm 61. Like you , I had a life once . I lost it all through my own mistakes! I get exactly where you are coming from! Your not alone bro. And Time is on your side👍 Try starting off with community work once or twice a week! Your past experiences may help others not to go down the same route.Take care of yourself ☘️☘️👍
I'm 62. I'm learning to like my own company. I'm learning to love myself. There are worse things than being alone. Being alone in a crowd is one of them .
Yea I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts for over a decade now, and I was unfortunate enough to be stuck around a small group a few months ago that talked down to and couldn't understand why someone would want to suicide which the conversation wasn't about me. I thought about interjecting and busting their balls, but I didn't feel like revealing to the group who my Dad and a youth pastor was in that I've been suicidal and it's a very real and difficult thing to cope with. I cannot stand people that don't even try to attempt to put themselves in others shoes, to have complete lack of empathy and not attempting to comprehend anything but what their miniscule narrowminded false since of reality allows them to see. Ultimately people almost always let you down or dismiss your issues, especially family half the time
@@joshrakestraw3319 its like as if all life just looked at everything you have done and said "ummm ................ dont care none of my buisness deppresed man get on your feet" because to be happy you have to have something to offer to other people otherwise people wont bother with you thats just how it is you feel rejected because we are social beings but deeply lacking empathy also social media has made all of us lack emotion everything feels the same now for everyone whole emotions and life changing experiences are described like nothing undermining our lives when in reality fuck all of that you control yourself and thats a starting point for success dont feel overwhelmed by success of others but put yourself above them and fight dont flight into deppresion id rather fight deing than suffer deing.
It doesn't matter if you understand or not, nothing will change from that. What I learned from life is that everybody is busy fighting their own demons and problems, the only person who can help you is yourself.
One of the saddest things I have had to go through was realising I was not liked nor loved when I previously thought I was. The wake up call was life changing and heart breaking.
Hi Cookie, the same thing here. As you said it was like someone slapped me in the face and I hate it. Can’t believe it or process it still. My anger is boiling and I don’t know what to do about it. I was just used and abused the whole time.
@@afraalsamkari2445 I think it might be a case of we didn't really understand or were oblivious to human dynamics and suddenly woke up to the true reality of it. Maybe, I don't know. But yeah its a real slap in the face. Stay strong Afra x
@@Cookie-Yeah09 Thank you for enlightening me and for your nice words💕❤️. I think you are correct. I hope that there’s something we can change or fix so that we would stay alive and strive. Love and Hugs 🤗 💕👍🏻❤️ for you Cookie.
I'm 51 and going through everything you talked about. I've had depression and anxiety all my life. I know you're suffering, but I'm glad you shared it.
I just turned 58. Family was crazy and abusive, and all dead now. Had the love of my life of many years give up on me about 3 years ago. I don't blame her. I've never been able to hold a job. I've literally had hundreds of them. Never learned to do anything but heavy construction. Now at my age I can't do it. I just quit another one because of pain. I'm living in a cheap motel and sometimes my truck. Some people don't have the tools to figure it out, especially if mental issues exists, which they almost always do. I'm not gonna stay here much longer. Fear, desperation, loneliness. Just tired. ✌
@pewdssepticeyeI can relate but use your situation to your advantage. Work hard at your age and make as much money as possible and buy your own place to start with. It's a lot easier to do at 16 rather than trying to start in life when you're 30. I'm not saying you won't have hard times ahead but it's better to be alone on your terms than surrounded by people who make you feel alone especially family. You're 16 and got time but time is finite so get to work and use it wisely. You got this bro 💪
@pewdssepticeye go back to school and then graduate and go in the military...it will give you $ and healthcare etc and you will meet lots of people.....please go back to school....it is the only way to make it in this world
38 and practically the same situation, it's like there is a same pattern. The feeling we are not made for this world, wrong in everything, born by mistake.
As a 44 year old that has no kids or family, the one thing that gives me peace is knowing that no matter what I do financially, it wont matter. That’s why I try get out and do adventures, and not worry about buying a house or saving money. I’ll be dead and gone, and knowing that I won’t be leaving anyone in financial rune is comforting. It sucks that I didn’t take advantage of the opportunities I had to have kids. I do feel like I missed out on a lot of what life has to offer by not having kids, but what’s done is done, and I refuse to feel bad about it. Stay strong brother, and try and have some fun. I know it can be rough at times. Getting a pet helps too.
hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home! thx
I also feel the same. I’m in my late 40’s. No kids, no husband, no friends. I always wanted kids, my mother had foster kids when I was in high school and I loved them to death. Over 30 years later I still think about them. My biggest regret in life. My family name ends with me. I have depression and it’s hard to accept I will never find love or have what I see others have in those cute instagram shorts I torture myself with. I also wonder how this guy is doing now. He made this around heavy Covid times so i know he was feeling worse. And yes, I feel desperate and as a woman it’s worse finding love. Men my age want younger women not women their own age. It’s definitely soul destroying.
I've been in the same boat for a very long time. Except for me instead of traveling, I became an alcoholic. I'm 34 and still here and embarrassed about it.. I respect the fact that you made this video. I couldn't have done it. You described it exactly. I thought I was the only one. Thank you for being here brother. God bless you my friend, I wish you and anyone else that is stuck in the same hole the absolute best. You're awesome! Don't ever give up!
@@philly3901 Don't give up my brother. God sees what we all go through. Being set apart can be the best blessing in our entire lives. But it can be hard to see that while living in darkness. Sometimes we are separated from the wrong people so that we can find the right ones. If they are the right people, you will know. Because they will never give up on you. Have patience my friend. And God bless you
You’re not alone bro, I feel the exact same way. Always been an outcast and diagnosed with pschizoaffective many years ago but feel like its more resonate with cptsd from isolating and people at school talking about me and belittling me constantly from a young age. Feeling like I have no identity and tense around people, and would usually keep quiet to fit in. Now I’m 32 and living by myself. Feel like anyone I’ve gotten close too has sensed that neediness and always end up getting hurt/ taken advantage of. Feel like a weirdo being the only single living person in the neighborhood especially at my age. And always think about those people that talked about me are living their lives with kids careers and a family, while my life is still shaped by the low self esteem from the abuse. Thank you so much for sharing! Sometimes I have contemplated suiceid because it truly hurts and every seems dreadful and gotten to this point from constant mistakes made. Can’t work because fearful of people and can’t do anything effectively. It’s really hitting hard now, but this video is one of the few that give me comfort when feeling like ending it. Wish there really was a community 😢 but Hope you are in a better place and are blessed ✊
I'm 35, all the things you described..I'm going through the exact same things: lonliness, anxiety, unstability, you name it. That is not to say I'm trivializing your experience, or anyone elses for that matter. I'm writing this because your current life situation really speaks to me, and to let you know that you are not alone bro.
I am 47 years old with no friends, no life and lost my job. I have been friendless for the better part of 29 years. I am sick of it and it's worse on the weekends. Reading all of the comments on this thread and watching this video shows me that there are thousands of men out here on feel the same. Let's do something about it. There has got to be a way to connect men connect with each other.
Bro I'm only 3 years into it. I can't imagine how you've coped with 29years. The weekends are the worst for sure. I try to bury myself in work but it cripples me knowing I can't just go out and enjoy shit like others without looking like the wierd guy on my own. I dread dating or getting into a relationship because they will inevitably find out I have no friends.
Sat on my kitchen floor watching this, I feel so alone all the time and just want a friend more than anything. I just got a job after not working for years and I still feel as sad as I did before if not worse, I just don’t see the point sometimes in keeping going when I’m in so much pain. I just want it to get better. Thank you for sharing this.
I tried working also, but it made me more depressed, seeing those people that are there i saw in there eyes they didnt want to be there so i quit. I joined a club but even that is not working because most of them have family or wives , and single ladies are very hard to find . Sitting at home 90% of the time thinking of suicide all day just to end my pointless life, if i lay dead here people find me after a week maybe more, cause theres not a single soul checking up on me . Its going like this for 7 years now,and i dont see it changing.
I have dysthymia, chronic depression. My mood was very down every day, due to an unloving family and other problems. I spoke to my doctor and she prescribed Wellbutrin. My family is still unloving and the other problems are still there, but Wellbutrin helps to stabilize my mood. I don't feel like I'm at rock bottom with no hope every day, like I used to. See a doctor; you might have an underlying condition such as depression that you may need medication for to help you feel better. God bless.
The irony of most of us living in city with internet. It's like we are alone together. This video makes me feel good because there are other people having the same familiar feelings and thoughts that I do have
You are being tested. The discontent you feel is your inner self trying to push you to step outside what you know as a routine and make a change. You are certainly worthy of being loved, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. I went through a similar depression in college, surrounded by people. I had to learn to love myself. It isn’t like flipping a light switch, but it can be done over time. If you have hobbies, seek out others who are into the same thing. Praying for you, bud. You are heard, and certainly not alone.
He's not alone! Hear me out. I can't even get myself to get a full time job, because I feel so lousy. I a have par time job, but it's difficult. lIke something is wrong with me. . maybe it is a test, that you will realize one day that you never needed any one. It WAS about self love. This is not talked about enough.
I felt the exact same way.I’m always feeling like life just passed me by and all of the people that I called my friends either moved away from me or got married and had kids.I struggle with mental illness and I know that has a lot to do with where I’m at in my life.I try and stay productive and it helps a little but I always end up sitting in my apartment questioning my existence and why I’m so alone.
Same, so much of the same of what you and others in the comments section are experiencing/have experienced, is what I've experienced and have been experiencing very recently. I just know something is "missing" and not quite right within me. It's such a gut feeling that is so strong it calls into my body every morning when I wake up. I could even say it's in my soul, but when I conceive of it that way it makes me feel more in peril and out of reach with combating it. Except one may say, for example, that it can be defeated through faith in God, Jesus Christ, or other deities, depending on the cultural origin of person who's suggesting the faith route. And that's the thing. You can never "know" unless you try. Well what if the devil in you is so strong that you cannot weaken it because you're not strong enough yourself? And given that strength is a gradient, for its overcoming, how do you know when you're even close or nearly there? And I can perfectly understand why people invoke the unseen qualities of the dark side, like spiritual brokenness, as a possible explanation of what has caused emotional pain within someone who's suffering existentially. For me it's like my strings have been cut, and I've lost all of my potency. They say that what we think about ourselves is what we create. So it's clear that if the mindset can change, all else will follow on for the better. But the only way that would work is if we change our actions, ignoring the negative voices. This is very difficult though, if the voices are so prominent in a person's imagination that it tells them (or you're telling yourself subconsciously) that what you're "doing" in the moment of purposeful distraction is not aligned to what you truly want - that it's just a distraction for its own sake, stopping you from ruminating on the sofa or in bed. In that way the negative thoughts/mental chattering is not abating
I have no friends or family, apart from one brother. Everyone around me has died in recent years and now I live alone in my mid-40s. Life has taken a wrong path, but I'm trying to correct it.
Keep working at it, meet new people, try new things. Work on your diet, more and more science is telling us our stomach, our diet affects our mental well being. Go and have a full analysis and find out what you should and should not be eating. Combine it with exercise and trying new things, make life interesting.
32 and never had a career, any of the goals I set seem to die on arrival, and that is because I'm doing any and everything on my own all the time, which just adds to how boring and empty everything feels and now all my friends have found a partner and got married to them, or they just moved away. We lost contact, and I am just...Here...alone...with no family, and that is because my birth family is just filled with angry, mean, awful people who just drag me down every chance they get, so I cut them out of my life...so here I am with nothing but an empty life. You are not the only one; I feel the same emptiness you do. But I do envy that you got to travel the world 🌎 at least, but I can see that didn't help you feel less empty, which makes me wonder what the hell are we missing from our lives.
Giving you love Allen , not gay or anything ,, but take a big hug pal !! Things will change !!you'll meet someone out of the blue one day, life has a funny way about it
I'm out there with you brother. Please don't give up. This life is a rough plastic shithole, but if you keep focus and find a mission like in a game, be it stacking money or learning new skills, etc, that's what keeps you up. Many people choose drugs and those drugs drag them to tomorrow's grave. Money doesn't, that's my mission. Without it, I wouldn't really have a goal and I would feel empty and aimless.
Be bold and start something new in your life like getting a new hobby everyday is a new day, set as big and as much goals as possible but break them down into smaller chunks then improve them by fraction of 1% for each and every single days remember also not to be too hurry as you have plenty of times in your hand, lastly I am into sketching and painting these days as I have left my job 2 years ago..i am 38 yrs old right now
I really felt this. It’s hard to feel like you’re not alone due to the way our society atomises us as individuals. It’s hard to keep friends as everyone is encouraged to move away and isolate themselves off. I understand the irritability and frustration with life feeling like it’s on hold or stuck. I hope you can find some happiness and meaning. Stay strong.
I'm 35 and going through the exact same thing. Had similar experiences, travelled, lived abroad for 2 years, had fun in my 20s etc. But now jobless, back living at home, friends have moved on with their own families now or emigrated permanently, i never finished university, the anxiety, depression and stress of all that led to actual physical head problems, constant headaches and disorientation. It's like a hole one just can't get out of. I feel like I'm never going to be normal again. I think our situations are more common than we think. You have a roof over your head, no physical health problems (i think) and access to the NHS. Try using those things/services as a starting point for recovery. I've bought a book called Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World. It's a 8 week programme. The book was made by Oxford university, there's science behind it. It helps with anxiety, stress, mental health problems etc. It could be useful as a starting point too.
@@playstationtwo877 similar position. I recommend behind the scene jobs or stay at home jobs or just jobs that deal with less people. This can be broad and depends on what your interest is. Like warehouse jobs to stocking jobs to administrative jobs to working at the post office. Start off with part time jobs and work your way up. That's what I was doing. Oh, library jobs were my favorite and I am pursuing it as a career. Very laid back job or even if you can get some volunteer positions to get used to working and being around people. ALSO ALSO ALSO, try to take a few bathroom breaks throughout your shifts--thats when you'll get a breather and collect yourself when your anxiety starts to become too much. Also, don't be afraid to quit jobs that make you miserable. I quit my retail job after 1 month because customers were rude asf and my manager sucked
Welcome to my life. You’re not alone. I’m 57 and have accomplished nothing. I’ve had one gf in my life and spent most of my life alone. I had friends but as you said they all moved on. It seems every woman that I like never feels the same way. Feeling lonely and depressed is worse than cancer. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.
I am the same age. No family, no friends, no will to live, no girlfriend, not recognized at work, no matter how hard I work, I speak with this fucking accent that make people run from me, I am in constant frightening mode, depress, with suicidal thoughts all they long, God does not listen, Jesus does not listen, I am finding my self talking to the walls, I am ashamed of how I look, I have not accomplished anything in life, I have no idea why am I here, I have no idea the purpose of my life, is the same shit every single day, I have no motivation to create or doing anything to make me happy, I hate my place to live, I hate the neighborhood where I live, I hate the car I drive, I am just disgusted with myself and just want to be gone... but too coward to take my own life and be done with it. Please pray for me brother...please pray for me...
@@richardandretti2680 mate I thought I failed cos I don't drive! at least you can drive! So u doing better then me! I still will pray for ya though! I know all about that suicide cowardice thing and just wished I lived in the USA were shotguns are legal
Thank you for posting this. It made me very emotional because it hurts to hear someone suffering in that way. I also know all too well what depression, hopelessness and a lack of purpose feels like. I too am 37yrs old and was dumped last year after a 7yr relationship. I don't have any children but want them. My entire family is in Russia and here it's just my mom, Dad and brother and everyone is on their own and living their own lives. I don't have any friends because like you said, everyone developed families, moved away etc. Everyone my age is already settled down and not necessarily looking to mingle. It's very difficult on a lot of days, it is. However, I mainly want to commend you for sharing this so publicly. That's very courageous of you. I rarely let anyone know how truly lonely and desperate for connection I am sometimes. I put on a facade of coolness, happiness and free of care. It's just so embarrassing and vulnerable for me to be open about this to people. So for you to come out and speak on these topics is a big deal and I'm proud of you. Just know that it definitely helped me today knowing that I'm not alone. ❤
2 years ago I was exactly in your situation until I got a dog. That decision changed everything and now I know nearly every dog owner in my neighbourhood. Sometimes we even go for a drink. Plus I get the love of my beautiful dog who also gave me the motivation to simply live. I wouldn't change him for anything in the world. Recently I started a part-time job. A miracle! I hope this helps if you are still feeling stuck. Keep your pecker up and the best of luck.
True, there's still an emptiness, we need The Lord Jesus Christ, He can fill the void, He laid down His life so we can have eternal Life. It is all real, Jesus Christ is the only Way to Heaven. Seek Him and be saved, God bless you.
Oh man, I SO hear you brother! I'm 55 next week. Before COVID destroyed Western society, I was traveling. I met a girl in Cambodia, moved here, married her, spent almost my entire life's savings keeping us both, after my country locked me out for two & a half years. Now I'm down to the last of my money, my home country, friends & family are pretty much gone & there's nothing left for me there- I'm stranded. I have nowhere to go, but try & move ahead here, in an impoverished country where there are very few opportunities to earn enough to survive on. The girl is gone & blew my life to bits before leaving, so I'm having to rebuild from scratch. Everything you said resonates with me & my own situation. Every morning- if I even manage to wake up before lunchtime- is an exercise in utter panic & despair. Depression is the true pandemic of the times we live in. In the small town I live in, which is beautiful, there have been three expat suicides in two months. You are not alone, in fact you are one of a great many. I feel for your generation, you live in a reality construct that seems to have no future. I cannot offer you any advice except to try & be thankful for what you do have, no matter how insignificant it may seem to you, give where & when you can & whatever you do, DON'T self isolate. Don't give up. Find people who can relate to you & genuinely care. I know such people exist, because I'm lucky enough to have one or two who've kept me alive through the darkest times. Don't be afraid to share your despair & trust in people who will listen- they are out there. I know how you feel because you pretty much described my own state of mind exactly & trust me, at my age, when you can start to calculate the years you have left, looking ahead seems bleak. I take every day as it comes; I try to achieve even one small thing every day & keep faith that my life will go on & opportunity will present itself. You're in The Hole bro, just keep focused on the light above. For the record, I think you show incredible bravery opening up like this. Remember you are one of many, we are all casualties of a global psy-op to deprive us of hope so we will take whatever is offered, or take our own lives instead. Don't succumb to the despair, keep fighting it, it's not over yet.
That comment was a movie, you should tell your story , it beeds to be heard. Im 34 and dream of being an expat but it might just be a grass is greener fallacy. Men have been deprived of our humanity and we need to do something about it as a group, because we are divided and conquered. There are many sadistic women who thrive off of our pain. They dont want our money, our kids they want our souls.
Trusting a woman was your biggest mistake. Now you're broke because you blew it all on her upkeep just so she could dump you after she drained you. You can live with a woman even for 50 years, but never trust her, treat her as a roommate you have sex with
I been laid off from jobs, downsized, new jobs obtained close down, the disability strikes, lost steady income, couldn't keep up with friends financially, they quietly faded away from me. I'm like this guy. All I have is a rented room, all I own in that room. Now a senior with limited mobility, limited income. Tough to go through each day. I keep going to see how far I can make it to live.
Hey friend. I am close to your story. I am not preaching to you. I just want to share what (WHO) has given me hope, peace, and comfort through my days. The Almighty. You'll find Him if you seek Him. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Read the Bible. The Gospel of John. The Psalms. He will meet you as you meet Him. Blessings my friend.
You are not alone in this. Everything you said is my life exactly. Had friends when I was young but have been completely alone for years. No friends, No family, just myself struggling every day to make it another day. I'm so sorry for what you are going through and I'm sending you love and hugs 💓
When you're younger, you live more care-free than when you're older. When you're older you collect all these headaches and unresolved baggage that makes life feel like a burden. Once you start to resolve all this baggage, you feel more care-free and friendship starts to be more like a fun game again. So, it would be good to look for what would make you happy again; look through all the dark baggage. It might envolve taking risks, but look at it this way: you got nothing to lose. One day you will die anyway, so you might as well die while you do what you want to do. Sometimes it helps to be in such a deep hole that there is no other than to throw all the old garbage away and take a risk. For some it might be the risk of quitting their sh*tty job (and figuring out what will be next), or moving to a place where there is more nature or living off-grid in a simple an self-sufficient way (working with nature, grow your own food, live cheap so you don't have to work that much). All these things take courage and hold risks, but once you're convinced there will also be the faith that it will work out. Once you know what you want to do, you will become unstoppable anyway, but don't go the easy way because that will not be worthwhile. I truly wish you all the best and I regret I can not tell you what your dream might be!!!!
"When you dont't care about anything, then you don't care about life at all." Seems like obviousness but it's so true at the same time! I am also stuck with my life (for 3 years) and feel scared of changing but I know it can help me to find a kind of sense of life because now it seems like everything is meaningless and empty
I can relate! Your life isn’t over, you’ve got time to work through the stuff your struggling with. I’ve been there, hell millions of people across the globe are going through the same things. You are not alone. It’s gonna take work but it is worth it. The only way out is through. An old friend gave me that advice years ago and it has stuck with me ever since. The only way out of your circumstance, any given circumstance, is to face your fears, your discomfort, your problems head on. It’ll be difficult, but most things worth doing are difficult. I feel like that’s the only way most of us grow and mature as people is to tackle these sort of issues head on. Nobody else can do it for you and even if they could the lessons learned through the trials and tribulations would be lost on them. You’ve got this! Start small, begin with taking care of yourself. Your hygiene, your appearance, your health. Then start cleaning your room or making y our bed. Then, do the dishes, take the trash out, clean the yard, etc. Making friends and romantic partners when your older can be really difficult Find hobbies, have new experiences then find people who also enjoy doing this things. I know it can be uncomfortable and awkward talking to new people but you’ll eventually develop that skill and before you know it you’ll have a circle of friends who love and care about you. But you have to start, you have to take the first step. It may be the most difficult step but as I said, it’ll be worth it.
I'm 67 year old woman and my family and friends have either passed away or moved on with their own partners, kids, friends, grandkids etc. I have a daughter and although she does text me to say I love you, I rarely see her or talk on the phone. It literally seems as though I'm this satellite or moon circling around the people I know. When they have spare time, they will text me, but I don't have my very own family or friend group. So every day for several years now, I've been alone. When I lost my job, it got even worse. I don't even hear a human voice unless it's a cashier or a customer service rep. I will go days without anyone addressing me personally. Day after day after day. The older you get, the worse it is. So my advice to you is to force yourself to get a job. Perhaps you will care about it- you don't know. If worse comes to worse, you can always quit.
We have a lot in common. My daughter moved away a year ago and I'm lucky if she returns a simple text. She never calls and is always busy. My son also moved away. I am completely alone. I'm almost 55 and I don't belong anywhere. I have no friends and no family, at least no one that I talk to. If I die at home, no one will even notice I'm gone.
I'm 42 and my life is very similar. My daughter never calls my son hardly answers when I call. I'm a pretty good father in my opinion but it seems I'm not as good as I believe myself to be in that aspect. From poor decisions on my part I'm in a position that has lead me to a rock and hard place as they say but on one hand it's hard but on the other hand I was built for it as my life has dealt me a hand that since childhood left me to depend on myself so a hard life is something I'm custom to I just don't want my children to have to absorb life like I did. I'm blessed they have plenty of love surrounding them regardless if the accept my love or not..I wish you well, peace and happiness as you define it to be ❤
In the UK, there is a topic in regards to aging population. And such population suffer from loneliness and depression. This is why it's always nice to talk to them when you meet them. Cause they want interaction cause back at hoke they probably got none. Is why a lot of elderly likes to go shopping. To see other people or friends or to talk to cashiers and sales rep. There are even shops or markets that has their own dedicated cashier line where the elderly can meet and talk to the staff or cashier in their own time.
Hey man , Good video and heart felt. I was drafted into the Marines in 68 and sent to Viet Nam in 69. I never thought I'd see 1970 much less be 70. I struggled with ptsd for years but internalized it and drank a case of beer every day to get to sleep, more passing out. The Marines sent me to become a mechanical engineer and I made obscene money after. I bought houses, corvettes, boats for cash,and took my family on month long vacations, but I was still alone. Dont let life just happen to you go out and grab it and turn the negativity into a positive. Turn off the negative media, negative people, and be thankful for all you've been given. I'm done being an adrenaline junky now and discovering what I'll be when I grow up. I still don't let others get close but thankful for each day. Adopt an attitude of gratitude and give back while paying it forward. I'm pullin' for you and we're all in this together. Believe me that you have nowhere to go but up.
Life is meant to break us down until we finally are sick and tired of being sick and tired. These experiences are meant to push us out of our comfort zone and follow our inner compass which we all seem to ignore. These experiences are not happening TO you. They are happening FOR you. One day you will understand what I mean. The people who have been through it understand what I mean. Every single successful person on this earth has been through some kind of hardship like this. Don't give up brother. We are descendants of warriors. We are strong enough.
> Life is meant to break us down That's exactly what your capitalist over-lords want you to think. Blaming yourself excuses the systems in-play that favor few at the expense of the many. Stop licking their boots.
@williamkiely9523 : I’m nearly 69 and never had the self-destructive behaviour you speak of and I’m alone but I’ve done OK for myself. You are correct tho, that self-destructive behaviour does drive people away. The problem as i see it is once you’ve done that those people will convince themselves that you will never change and distance themselves from you fearing you will become a burden to them .Unlike the previous comment made I don’t think praying will help you. There is only one thing that can help you and that is YOU !! You have to make change happen. I hope you’re up to it . Good luck 👍
But people do change. And that's where prayer and following Jesus Christ come in. We have to forgive others so that we can be forgiven. Hope you understand that with Him we have everlasting life. Lean on in Him in all things.@@Kingcarparpeggio
I feel like it gets more challenging to make and maintain friends as we get older. I'm in my 30s now and most of my friends are busy with careers, marriage, starting families, etc while i'm floating through life a bit directionless at the moment. Covid also didn't help! Once my province lifts lockdown, i'm making a conscious effort to try new things and put myself out there to hopefully stumble upon my path or maybe meet some new likeminded people. Hope you find your way sir. Life is a lot of trial and error, ups and downs.
I resonate with many parts of your message, and I hope life has improved in the past two years. You’re a lovely person and I for one would be honored to be your friend.
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
At 56 years old I finally realized I’m alone in this world, have spent my entire life surrounded by abusive narcs. Finally decided to cut ties with toxic people. It’s definitely quiet but the peace it brings is unspeakable
Me too but I’d like some healthier people around as I have no family or partner just two young kids
@@fionam3735 finding a healthy tribe of people is my biggest challenge 😪
@@philipwilliams2310 thank you!
Very very true indeed
taken me years and unfortuntely over decades to realise this and last few years done the same
I’m turning 50 this year. I also have no friends, and I’ve distanced myself from my family. I have cptsd from childhood which makes me feel uncomfortable/fear around people. People say join a club/group to meet people but that’s hard since I feel awkward and anxious. So here I am lying in bed awake at 2.21 am watching this video. Knowing I’m not the only one like this is comforting. Best of luck to everyone in this situation ❤️
I feel you, Steve I'm 18 and I never had any friends in my life people who I considered my "Friends" betrayed me every time except one but now he moved to another town, I feel really lonely and depressed.
Now I've been 3 years with no friends and my family is kind of negligent with a 14 year old boy, so I don't feel comfortable with them either when I'm " socializing" I feel it is just like the weird part of the day you know.
@@Віктор445 Feel you bro... I'm going through the exact same thing (I'm 18 by the way).
I was recently diagnosed with autism & adhd with CPTSD ( yeah alot I know lol ) and the only thing I’ve ever felt was that I’m an alien. I WANT people. I WANT the engagement. But what do I have? What’s left for me? I don’t even know… being diagnosed with Autism has been my life changing moment. It’s doesn’t fix everything, not the pain, not the abandonment but sometimes it helps me realize what I’m going through. I’m stuck. But I’m trying…
That’s a lot to find out and process for sure. I definitely get about feeling like an alien haha. I thought I was a freak with all those negative feelings, finding out what it was, was a huge relief. A normal response to an abnormal childhood. Good luck on your healing journey
Trust me, the people you see aren’t as happy as you think
100%
cope and ratio
💯man frfr..its a fluctuating mood..one day you feel happy next day you feel like crap. There are prob Some people feel like crap for years
That's the thing with Social Media as well. FB, Instagram, Twitter etc.... Everyone is so happy and posts about the fantastic achievements and how happy and successful they are and everything is perfect. However, that is so far from the truth and real life that you might as well open up a fairytale book, because its the same thing.
They atleast have people who give a damn about them
I can relate. I'm 33 and about to turn 34. I'm still living with my parents, unmarried, no kids, and haven't had any friends for years. I didn't go to college and have been stuck in the same dead end job for the last 15 years, which is also about to come to an end now that the company is closing. I feel like my life is static and I haven't achieved any personal growth or development and life is just passing me by.
Go join a sport or social group, make friends and maybe even find a woman or man, there’s plenty of resources and opportunities out there you just need to make the effort or push to get these things.
Have you thought about turning to drugs ? give meth a go that stuff is great.
Same here, i'm 27 and been stuck on same job for 3 years, i go to college, met many people but somehow still stuck in the same condition, no friend, anxious to attend college, low paid and boring job
I'm just afraid my youth is passing before i even enjoy it...
No parents, no family(taken by CPS at 10 due to the most horrendous abuse the cops have ever seen in that area) None of the other family cared for me so they never even tried. Friendless, no family and living in a studio appartment by myself with 2 minimum wage jobs. Never have achieved anything sure tried, but failed at every turn.
@@berserkagain7976 Nice.
I'm 61 and I've been exactly like you for 40 years, every day is the same for me too, there is a lot of us on the planet, you're not alone brother 😊
Lack of resource is the real problem, the Wealthy globalists need the rest of us to be miserable. And it is working. WEF is winning against humanity.
40 years is such a long time. That must be unbelievable hard. Sending❤
@@karenthue8978 - Yes very hard & all family members passed too, Thanks for the comment, I have a yt channel to keep myself active
@@DUMPSTERDIVINGADELAIDE123 I saw! So much strange stuff in The trash😂Have you made content facing the camera and just having a chat? Maybe people would Get to know you more? I know you have experiences I dont have, We all live so different lives, and hearing your viewpoint would be really interesting. Have a great day. Its night time here now.
@@karenthue8978 - only live chat with my channel but you don't actually make friends, just RUclips friends, like Facebook friends, not actual physical friends, just seems to be some people have family and friends & some don't, I can't fathom it, Have a nice weekend... All these people are in other countries
I'm 71 but I still can find a reason to live.If you can identify a PURPOSE in your life, you can keep living and feel that it is worth it.
Life has no purpose. However there are three things everyone wants; money, good health, and true love.
All people are waiting to die, death means disappearing forever, so an ant is same as you.
If thats your pic you look great Fred
Thank you Fred, cheers!
@@senseofstile " However there are three things everyone wants; money, good health, and true love."
Ironically I have purposely chosen NOT to chase money or true love, and have never had a lonely day in my life.
I'm an electrical engineer too (BSEE & MSEE), I live in Silicon Valley, I bought a home here. I actually came from a very poor background. My family was extremely dysfunctional. I have no family today. No family, no friends, and no love. I'm invisible. Christmas pretty much sucks balls to be this alone. I've lost interest in most things - and have spent the last of my saved money. If I were to disappear only the bill collectors and employer would notice.
Man sucks. I hope it gets better. Some people just have it worse than others. Stay strong, one day it might get better.
@@linchpin5481 - well, let's make a video then (music video)
@@silvermica Maybe we can make some music. How are you with mixing/mastering?
@@linchpin5481 Do you have any sheet music for what you're playing on your RUclips channel? I've got Logic Pro X and can mix/master. I've got Final Cut Pro X for video editing too. Works pretty well.
@@silvermica I have tabs for some of it.
I'm an elderly lady, I don't have any friends, I'm alone, no one has wanted to be in my life as friends for years.
I'm pretty much like you are.
But I don't let it get me down.
Perhaps God is Prepping us for something Greater to come.
Think of your life like that, & don't let it bring you down.
Nothing but positive mam ❤ thank you
@@Ocidad yes, nothing but positive.
you are most welcome.
💕
@@schanychamemphis1327 God bless you. 🙏❤️
Guys I'm exhausted physically and mentally tired im 30 , jobless staying in my room all day depressed and severe anxiety . No friends at all no one to talk to , zero social skills , thinking of ending it all more often then ever I'm so sorry i couldn't sleep last night and burst out crying myself silently i really need your help , i can't see myself living this life for the next 2or1 yrs Iike this. I'm so sorry.thanks if you're reading this .English is not my first language. I feel like I really need someone who knows me i really do
I'm binge watching this type of videos and it's mind bending how we all ended up like this... in a world full of people how the fuck are we so alone?
Well said I asked myself in a world full of millions around us how in the world can we be so alone and stuck in a groundhog day but it's so real reality you said it perfectly
There are a lot of reasons for this, no one single cause.
But to make it short, inventions within the realm of communication are largely the reason for this phenomenon, as well as the constant cultural shifts that have happened over the last 150 or so years.
You could write an entire novel about the various reasons for the decline in social stability within the average man and womans lives, and why loneliness is at an all time high despite humanity having a larger population than ever before in our history. It's hard to sum it all up concisely in a single youtube comment.
Loneliness is being forced upon people in my opinion. For years the media have been glorifying life outside of the family unit and love. Glorifying hookup culture, violence, guns, money anything that can turn our minds against the idea that we're SUPPOSED to LOVE. Like out natural urge as humans is to LOVE. But somehow this agenda of keeping people separate and isolate seems to be seeping through every crack in society to the point where its unstoppable. This is the last stage of divide and conquer.
Those with empathy and that natural urge to love will be the ones depressed. Those lacking will be the ones that follow.
It's called the dilemma of choice. With modern technology you are now competing across people from all over the world, not your local town/village.
I blame it on the Internet people were more sociable before the internet
These people that you referring to who "moved" with their lives, they got stuck in their own tiny universe, and they are not necessarily happier then you are. I wish you good luck my friend.
You're right. Some people project that they're living happy lives, but in reality they have their own struggles as well. Just a beautiful illusion.
We are a delusional species.
that is so true
I guess thats a way to see it but we're all still sort of stuck in this universe
Well said
I'm 47, my friend, and could have repeated word for word what you say. For me, it's an absence of love that slowly rots you away from the inside
Same
Same
Same 57 though is a long haul, even people you did have relationship with get I'll, loss of clarity and pass away. Just a sad state of affairs life can become.
I'm 35. Single no kids.
Lack of love is killing me
@@buffy2257 7 billion people on this planet and u would think that there is someone for everyone. Idk. I was with my ex husband for 28 years . Shit went down the tube. I dont like being alone at all. I'm sorry. I live you as long as your a good person. 🙏🏼❤
Hugs darling, you are not only one, but 37 is truly young! I too need to feel loved, and I have 3 adult children just alone! Most of my family has died, it sucks.
This was exactly what i needed. No job, no money, no hopes, no dreams, a box to live in, no friends no family, no one checking in no reason to live. I stay going in hopes that one day things will change. Maybe its worth nothing or maybe ill get past it someday. Godspeed brother.
There's your silver lining...you said it, 'God'. That's all you need 😊
@@BlueAvianslol
Yeh bro becouse losing hope is freedom
You have to be content in your own company, once you accept that you will enjoy been alone- my son is 43 and the same. He is good looking but only one who never married. Because he’s a hard worker, he enjoys work mates as friends. He looks forward to solitude- at end of week. He’s happy- he loves animals- had a cat. You can love an animal- gives you purpose to care for something. My dad never married until he was 46- he was happy on his own- until then. Appreciate your time- is precious. Happiness is a conscious effort to choose to be happy. Friends are overrated- they borrow- they lie- they use- they play with your feelings.
why don't you two be friends ? swop numbers ?
I am 48 and feel the same, I traveled Asia a bunch too. You can’t find happiness you need to look within.. I will be your friend mate.
A 72 baby. Me too bro me too
Mentally I used to be 12 yo aged 30 (in 2001). I learned a lot since 05/2020 from a Udemy course "12 in 1 sales and influence mastery". Wish I could have learned this 30 years ago when I was 21.
@@deeppurple883 My daughters each have three nationalities/passports (South African, Russian, United Kingdom 🇬🇧). Myself dual citizenship South African & UK. But yes I feel like Ive just learned what most people already experienced when they where 18, so yes basically two birth certificates 🤣
Maybe you are searching for something that you cant chase physically. I would advice you to read the Quran. And give it am honest try bcs you owe that to yourself.
@P Jeffery no way! I was an expat meaning I worked for a USA company paid In Usd but lived in Asia best way to go I made ten times the local wages.. you won’t be able to live on local pay unless you are very high up. You can do online work as a consultant or other jobs like programming
Believe it or not I lost touch with friends when I had cancer. Now it’s just me. I understand to a degree how you feel my friend. I will be praying for Gods favor in your life.
Lets be real, if God existed we wouldn't be all so depressed. He doesnt stop anyone from committing suicide now does he.
@@jcbanbury I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.
Hope you're okay, have a good day!
@Mariano Gomez 777 no you dont understand. God does not exist.
@@111JenA I'm not offended at all. Was just stating a fact.
I hear you there! I'm almost 49 years old, have autism and also severely depressed, never had friends and live a house that I was raised in for 46 years, parents deceased, my brother got married and wants nothing to do with me. So I feel for you man!
Xoxo
Go out and do things that you've always wanted to do. Start a RUclips channel and document your journey. Before you know it you'll have a community of strangers all rooting for you. It's NEVER too late to become who you want to!
I totally feel you, bro. I'm 47 and I don't talk much about my loneliness because I'm often depicted as one who's simply victimizing myself. It's rough. One thing I won't do is try and end my life because of it though. I figure I have an eternity to be dead; life is just a small window of our overall existence. I'm going to try and find happiness SOMEhow while my heart still beats.....somehow. Best wishes to you, man.
If you don't have anybody then how come you aren't talking to people in the streets? Or any area? It's not like people are living away from others. Not sure how come you sending that video to people.
@@JustinQuaid-u8v It’s not that simple. Talking to random strangers isn’t going to fix the deeper aspect of loneliness, which is having no deep and meaningful connections in your life. Also, it is often frowned upon to go and chat up to random people on the streets. People will not receive it necessarily very kindly. Especially in some cultures such as where I live, it’s absolutely not acceptable.
Add to the fact that the me too movement made especially man vary of approaching women, this has caused them to steer away from approaching others altogether. If there’s a high likelihood of you being accused of being a harasser, you’re not going to start to have a conversation with a stranger. It’s often seen invasive and weird.
That’s unfortunately the current social culture. People are cold and distant, and more inclined to be exclusive to new people and not wanting to add any more members to their inner social clique. People aren’t as connected as they were before, and technology has exacerbated this issue.
Why not risk everything while you're still alive. Just do something you really like to do, go for it and follow through!
I used to be depressed, lived in a small (and cheap) studio and had a job that gave some feeling of importance. After doing this job for 10 years, I had my yearly vacation. All the years before, I was kinda looking forward to going back to the job, but that year I had no interest in this job anymore. An exciting, but scary idea came to my head: what if I just quit that job?? After that idea and the excitement I felt about quitting that job, my head started racing with possibilities and I wrote a manifesto for myself for things I had to do to get out of the sh*thole I was in.
I quit my job, bought a small house that I wanted to renovate all by myself (without any experience), got myself a simple job (in an amusement park) and 3 years later, I am a lot happier person. When I look back at those 10 years, then it just felt like I was just standing still for this whole time. I did have some of the most chaotic periods in my life after I quit that job and changed my life-style, but it was all worteth.
Good luck to you and I hope you find the courage to take a gamble with your life!!!!! You have nothing to lose!!!!
How come people still talking to others in school and I see couples every area I go to. Not everybody is manipulated by things people hear. People should not jump to conclusions@@roosaas
If things I'm hearing is correct, people would not be producing babies@@roosaas
Don't feel too bad. I'm in my fifties in the same boat, except I didn't do the great things you did, just wasted away year after year. Went crawling back to mom's spare room in my 50's, talk about humiliating. I did get out of there, but like you have no real friends, relationship, etc. I think the solution is for people like us to socialize together, because most have built families by your age and that is the main factor in our loneliness. It's just the nature of today's society to spend nearly all your time with your new family and there's nothing wrong with that. Let's be the solution we need, rather than dwell on what cannot be changed! Much love brother, hold on strong.
Mate this is very wise words, you should try and build up a group or something for people like minded or in sane situation in your area, you'd could be a real comfort for one another
I like your words and you're right, people like us show socialize together.
I became dad for first time aged 39 in 2010! I'm a 15 yo stuck in the body of a 49 year old. A Udemy course about influence and pursuasion taught me a lot about how to impove my behavior. The course was "12 in 1 sales and influence mastery". Also look for courses by Chris Croft. I only learned this when I was already 48 yo. Wish I could have learned this 30 years ago when I was 21.
Hello mate , my story is the same as yours ,,, you arnt the only one brother ,bless you
From the likes and comments here we atleast know we arent alone....GROUP HUG ❤
Anyone who doesn't understand what depression is, this is it
Spot on.
@Apocalyptic Workshop , why is you tube doing this. You are doing nothing wrong.
Karen Freund, you are absolutely correct. This is what depression feels and sounds like. Been there most of my life. Hope you are doing ok.
Oh I understand and always have
That's because he has a reason to be depressed.
You are VERY BRAVE for talking about this stuff publicly. I wish you all the best man. You’re not alone. We’re all CONNECTED🙏
He is not brave, he is in feminine mode. He needs to get of his ass and do stuff. Go help neighbour, make children, mown a lawn, fix piping...
Sigh, nothing more empty then calling someone brave online...it's like saying I pray for you...that's the bare minimum you could do. It's just empty words
Well, seems like you are not even trying to help and get the positivity going. Smallest things and simple words and prayers CAN HELP sometimes :)
@@KAATAJAT You can't help another, they have to help themselves. A persons problems are just that, their problems. Nobody else's.
@infiniteshoeblack in a way you and @itApproaches are right. This guy should help himself and seek for help from somewhere else too. Like learning how to meditate and/or meeting a psychotherapist and all that. But the positive side in these kind of posts, is that our knowledge grows. We learn more about depression. Maybe this guy has learned a bunch by these comments and maybe he feels better because of all the attention he gets. Yeah.. this is not a perfect world and we people arent always right and doing the right things. Its so easy to hate and pick on peoples flaws in these comment sections.
Why can’t all of us lonely people get together and stop being lonely. We all need each other . This breaks my heart listening to all these people. ❤️🙏
all by design
Everyone covers up being alone. This prevents us from finding each other.
@@Earthtime3978 BINGO MATE YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD
Is weird, too, be ause hearing someone say s/ he's lonely can be experienced as off putting.
You envision someone too needy or just overall undesirable.
Yet we possess a host of WONDERFUL qualities that would be enriching to others.
It us profoubdly frustraring and sad.
It is one thing to never find ones mate and life partner. Thats,a tre.endous misfortune for those of us who wanted that, but to be void of friendships. Whew!
@@rudymalizia8842 The average young man working in Target or Walmart never gets even the slightest attention from a woman , plus they have zero confidence in themselves. Its a life of loneliness, gaming and porn. Day after day and year after year men just become apathetic towards life. Its tough to be around a needy person and few want to help one, This is real life.
I hope you are in a better place now. I can relate to the loneliness, lack of motivation and endlessly reviewing the past to figure out how I ended up here. Thanks for your bravery. There are 7k comments and 46k likes on your post. You are definitely not alone.
exactly, good point, i would have never seen this video for that reason nor be here
Yeah this has turned up on mine too. The lad is bang on and I enjoyed hearing him on his thoughts here.
@@marko-1987but he didnt post anything else in 2 years so I wonder how he might be faring now.
He's not posted anything since, let's hope he's OK.
@@keepitreal1547 exactly!
I was ostracised from my family over a decade ago. One day while working a contract job I was in my car eating lunch in a Walmart parking lot. In front of me was a car that had one of those decals on the back and it said " If God is all you have, God is all you need ". Those words have stuck with me through thick and thin and I keep it close to my heart to this day. Stay strong my friend !
Amen!
@William Perez EXACTLY, god won't stop anyone committing suicide when they are in deep depression
It's the true. We are never alone witb God.
Thank you for this ❤ perspective.
Amen!
Ironically this made me feel less alone. Got no one. Questioning everything nearly every hour.
You were an engineer thats a big accomplishment & you traveled a bunch
Brighter days ahead my friend .. hang in there dude
True. Actually one of the toughest degrees to graduate from.
@@VirallVariety degrees are bullshit...
@@PlantSurgeon-growth i know where you're coming from, but STEM and medicine fields are a little different.
Depends what you want to do really, if you dream of being a doctor, you need to be qualified
@@PlantSurgeon-growth that's what people with no degree would say. degrees are bullshit when there's something else you can live off of
@@joekerr5418 its yes and no. respect both views. degree's are helpful, but also ppl with degrees cant find jobs also. i think different perspective's is the equilibrium approach. open mindedness and no not to say estranged and off the deep end and unrealistic, just consideration for others views
I feel your pain. What's weird is that I'm 48, I have a wife and family and I'm a professor. Everyone seems to love me, but my anxiety and depression makes me feel like I'm totally alone and isolated, like nobody knows the real me. People look at me and would never imagine that I feel like I'm stuck on a desert island all alone.
The pain really intensifies when you no longer can use your family, job or bank account as a distraction. You feel alone in your own head, like an outsider.
I did everything society told me to do…marriage, kids, mortgage, but the emptiness is still there as a constant companion.
Thank you so much for your honesty. I hope a lot of people read your comment and understand that, family, friends, job, position in society does not bring us lasting joy or happiness. I don't want to advise you on how to find meaning and purpose in life; but as one who has pursued higher education and have experience family and worldly success; it did me no good. I was depressed and prayed for death to put an end to my miserable existence every single day. As soon as I woke up, first thing I did was pray for death. Then I started to meditate on the Word of God; and have a mantra running through my consciousness constantly: "By His stripes I am healed." This practice of deep meditating on the love of God and being grateful for the blessings in my life has been a game changer; as it can be for everyone who would try. I also took certain supplements that enhance brain function and mood: Sam-e, 5HTP, Fish Oil, Magnesium, etc. Sometimes if we are lacking vital nutrients; depression and anxiety is the end result. God's speed my brother. The heart is a lonely hunter.
@@freespirit-111 I feel your pain my sister. The fact is: family, friends, job, position in society does not bring us lasting joy or happiness. I don't want to advise you on how to find meaning and purpose in life; but as one who has pursued higher education and have experience family and worldly success; it did me no good. I was depressed and prayed for death to put an end to my miserable existence every single day. As soon as I woke up, first thing I did was pray for death. Then I started to meditate on the Word of God; and have a mantra running through my consciousness constantly: "By His stripes I am healed." This practice of deep meditating on the love of God and being grateful for the blessings in my life has been a game changer; as it can be for everyone who would try. I also took certain supplements that enhance brain function and mood: Sam-e, 5HTP, Fish Oil, Magnesium, etc. Sometimes if we are lacking vital nutrients; depression and anxiety is the end result. God's speed my brother. The heart is a lonely hunter.
Because you never got to know yourself and enjoyed your time alone perhaps. Being alone and not feeling lonely is a soul journey that will make you happier than ever.
Thanks for being honest. You're not alone.
I’m 42 I feel your pain. Single for years, chronic illness, no friends etc but we’re not dead yet There’s still time to turn things around. I think it starts with baby steps 💕
It just takes a one good day to turn things around... stay positive eyes open and opportunities will come. Being a hermit and doing nothing won't help.
Focus on Jesus Christ and ask him to be your savior! He is real and the truth!
its just that i wish im dead already , that would be better
Love you 😘 stay strong 💪🏽
I'm 42 and married with kids. That doesn't get you friends. It actually makes it harder especially when your spouse has alot of friends.
I can relate, thank you for sharing. I haven't even travelled a lot. Losing my job as we speak. Always worked parttime because of my anxiety and depression, never had a lot of money. 51 and single. No kids.
Hang in there everyone!
Hope you have a good day!
@@bigaa3562 I did, thank you!
@@bigaa3562 thank you so much, same for you!
Im 38 years old and once i felt the same as you. I was in the same situation too. No therapy helped, no pills, no specialists. I was devastated by my lonely life. One day I realized that I had no influence on certain things in my life. I also realized that I cannot make happiness dependent on everything that the world imposes on us. I realized that not everyone has the same script (friends, social life, good job, wife, kids..). I accepted my life as it is and began to enjoy the smallest things. I don't expect much from life because expectation is the enemy of happiness. Nothing in my life has changed except that I am happy with myself. This is perhaps the healthiest way to deal with loneliness. It is not easy, no one said that life would be like that. Accept reality, find other goals, priorities, love yourself, appreciate the gift of life, no matter what it is. It's normal that we want to be needed by someone, we want to be loved, but we don't have 100% influence on it, so we can't blame ourselves. Be happy with yourself, live your life with dignity, do not make happiness dependent on anything. Be happy here and now.
Excellent realization!
worded this perfectly!
ThankU so much for taking the time to share that🥲 no lie it made me tear up a lil bit & I needed to read that.. I let go of my family a while ago & my 2 older brothers as well this year.. I am doing the best I can to go on with the rest of my life. But thankyou for that ❤
27 here, came to the same conclusion recently and, no joke, just being happy with myself gave me the confidence to start socializing more. Happiness MUST come from within for anything to change.
You should look into stoic philosophy.
Here's the deal. You've been caught up in this notion that you should conform to everyone else's path. You've been battling your own mind, thinking you must fit a certain mold. But the breakthrough came for me around 5 years ago when I embraced the truth-I don't have to be like everyone else. It's alright not to be married, not to have kids, not to possess remarkable skills or defined passions. It's fine to have a history of mistakes.
At 44, I said enough to this internal struggle that haunted me for years. A shift occurred within me. I made a conscious decision to accept myself, acknowledging my lack of conventional skills, numerous mistakes, solo status, and apparent flaws. I embraced being what many would label a "loser." Strangely, by genuinely liking myself despite all this, it was like flicking a switch. The deep-seated depression that plagued me for over a decade vanished overnight.
For years, I lived in constant discontent, each day a struggle. Now, for the past 5 years, it's the complete opposite. I'm consistently happy, content, and unfazed by most things. All it took was accepting and liking who I am. I've come to appreciate not fitting the mold; it's become a positive aspect. Life's all about perspective, and a simple change in outlook can make all the difference.
40. An abusive upbringing kept me from a career, marriage, kids, etc. But now I realise that I didn't want any of that. I'm actually glad to have eschewed it.
I definitely don't consider myself a "loser". I'm an intelligent and happy autodidact. I love engaging my passions -- film, music, culinary challenges, esoterica/spirituality, fragrances, style, psychology, philosophy. I love being by myself, and I never get lonely. I walk everywhere (never learned to drive), and I particularly like 3-4am walks. Good luck doing that with a family and inflexible responsibility. I love a sedentary life, but this is perfect way to get that exercise in.
I did abort my study but picked up some contracting work through a friend in the field; I think it helps to have at least one person you're in frequent contact with (one good friend). And a little bit of work you enjoy helps.
I actually feel like most other people are wasting their life. They're unhappy and greedy. They've no time for themselves. They've no spiritual connection. They've no connection to their body. And then they obviously haven't seen, read or listened to as much as I.
I have no regrets. I like losing people that I've loved. I like missing them, but I don't want them. If you clicked your finger and gave me my perfect woman and kids, I would reject it.
When I am dying, I will embrace it. If there's another phase, I'll have opened that aperture. Others will not have relinquished their baggage -- ego, fear, love, hate, trauma, guilt, etc.
I often parse out my past. I don't feel the need to integrate my parents. I may live the life I was pushed towards, but it also happens to be the life I want.
Perhaps the wisest words I have ever heard. Thank you!
@@kazman_6899 When I mentioned "loser," I was referring to society's conventional standards - someone like me who lacks marriage, children, a flourishing career, or deep friendships. However, I don't personally consider myself a loser. My definition of success revolves around being exceptionally fit. I find fulfillment in leading a straightforward life without unnecessary complexities, content with my role as a mere observer on this planet.
Very well said friend! ❤
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Loneliness along with depression are prolly some of the worst things a human can experience,living in a prolonged state of depression is basically hell😷good luck to everyone dealing with this🎇
agreed
Yes it is
Careful listened to him and i can only admit am heading to the same fate.. Every choice we make in life no matter how small it might seem it contributes to the future.
Its a hard life bro especially in todays society just gotta keep faith with god
@@JayDeeDonuts I fully agree man😔sigh im keeping god in my heart and in my prayers!and trying my best
Yes I can relate. I’ve thought to myself too… “am I really just alive to work? Is that really it?” And many more thoughts. You aren’t alone
Same with me man, 38, lonely and stuck, been trying everything to keep me motivated but still feeling empty, drinking every single night, hard to get sober, anxiety every night.. keep strong buddy, take care, from Indonesia 🇮🇩
Definitely get sober. At the very least, you won’t suffer from annoying hangovers anymore. Alcohol is a depressant. I am wishing much love to come your way. The world is a better place with you in it. Never forget that. A friend. ❤
You NEED to stop drinking. It will destroy you. Whatever you think the drink is giving you, it's a lie. A lie tha the drug tells you.
There s no easy way. It will feel like crap but there is no alternative. It gets better after a couple of months. Pick up a simple habit of running every morning force you get up and start the day and distract you. You can do it. Bu don't look for an easy way.
Join a group to maintain sobriety. Join any social group. Church. Any interests?
Man, don´t mix anxiety with alcohol. Almost killed me in 2013. I´m not kidding.
@KingsizePersonality yea man, thanks for the advice
You didn’t squander your money, you had an adventure. This is just a blip. I didn’t leave home till I was 34, met my husband then spent 5 years of having a few lovely holidays, had my first baby at 42 and my husband was 47 . I felt great when I finally got my husband and baby. That was 18 years ago and I count my blessings. Still have things to do and am trying. Your life will turn around when you least expect it to
You sound like me and I hope to have a baby at 40-42 too, as I just found at 35 who I want to have a baby with and he doesn’t have Cluster B personalities like others I’ve been with. Feel blessed. Just wish I had met him earlier and avoided NPD (narcissistic personality disorder ) and ASPD (sociopathy) heartache
My dad was 42 when I was born and now he is 60.
@@jeneka0989 A lesson and experience to get to where you are, which isn’t a bad thing. Much good luck to you
@@daemonzap1481 ❤️🙏🏻👏 There’s a lot of older parents round
I am 34 and alone, felt good listening you
We're about the same age. Can I tell you something critical? Finding someone to be with doesn't mean you won't be lonely anymore. And when you're married but feel misunderstood and alone, that hurts far worse.
Very true. I learned that the hard way.
Omg soooo true.
Very true! I was married and felt this way. I’d rather be single and feel lonely any day.
Here here
Yep yep ,been there too!..
There are so many lonely people out there hiding. Help people. Be of service. Smile and speak. You will find people who need you. Make that your purpose. The world needs kindness and heros.
Man I feel this on so many levels. It didn't really set in until I allowed myself to be single for a while. Having a girlfriend around was more a distraction to my lifestyle than anything else. Being a full-time content creator and "work-from-home" person in a new city during covid has really pulled the curtains back and made me rethink how I treat life. Mom and Dad passed away, just my grandparents (god bless them) and it's hard to not spiral and abuse substances when thinking about it. What I've learned to do is meditate and constantly remind myself what is currently happening around me and not what my mind wants me to feel. I practice stoicism, I go for walks often, I work out, and soon I hope i will muster the courage to walk up to strangers and try to make friends soon. God bless bro, it will get better!
I am scared of walking outside ,cause of stray dogs 😨
I feel you man. Working out I think honestly saved my life. Something to focus on, i find it cathartic at times, other times it drives me to want to better myself. But i almost always feel better after it. I would advocate consciously trying to live healthily, as much as your depressed mind wants you to slump into bed and eat ice cream all the time, to eat well and exercise. It will no longer be a chore and living a healthy life will become 2nd nature. Joy will come as a result of that. If you can fit some meditation in there too, great!
@Block Chain i dont know exactly what you would call it. I guess mindfulness, this does not involve chanting. But i have used apps like Headspace or WakingUp. I think they would help anyone who finds themselves getting distracted when trying to meditate. I found these very useful to guide you through, as a beginner. You may have to pay for them, but i think it is worth it for a clear head. I feel i can now take 5 minutes alone and do those techniques myself, unaided.
You most likely have financial stability tho. Imagine feeling like all this stuff, parents dying, streaming and content creation going downhill, and like nothing is going anywhere. This is what is going on with me, and it hurts pretty bad, even after trying really hard to fix things.
A lot of people have your problem--ruclips.net/video/gXxiTZbx2Lk/видео.html
You said: "When you don't care about anything; when you don't care about life itself..." That's an essential point for me. People are often confused by my attitude, or by the choices I make in life. Example: A guy drove his car straight through the wall of my house and into my living room. People kept saying: "You're taking this remarkably calmly!" They didn't know or understand that when you spend most nights contemplating suicide you're just not going to care about a hole in the wall.
this is why i find the whole field of psychology funny because they think they can understand our minds, which would take 2 lifetimes of study. i don't see the point of attempting it.
Right
I understand completely.
You might be depressed
Hey there, how are you doing these days?
You're not alone brother. I'm 36. No friends. No kids. I feel trapped myself. We need to do what makes us happy
Same
Same
I'm 39, I have a husband and 3 fur babies and parents BUT at times, I still feel lonely. Some of the most depressed ppl who end up self harming...to the point of no return- are wealthy and have a ton of "friends". You have to be content within yourself and that'll shine through. People don't like depressed people, fake it til you make it! Pray, burn sage, Palo Santo, read, meditation helps, fasting helps, exercising helps! I'm saying this bc I know it works.
And that is . Why don't you lonely lot catch up
Me too ..... Same
Hey buddy, rest assure you're not alone. I was on antidepressants since i was 16 and now at 29 i came off it having severe anxiety. Lost my mother 2 years ago and now i have no friends and no family. At this moment all I want is my own stability and family but my 4yr relationship is coming to an end. Totally get how you're feeling about work. You shouldn't feel bad about traveling around that's wonderful memories. Also it's nice that you still have a house to stay in. I know it's so hard to stay hopeful, I struggle with it everyday. But for what it's worth we try. I heard a phrase today it says believing in fear and believing in faith both takes effort. You seem like a really nice fella. Would love to be your friend if only I'm on your side of the world!
I'm 32 just ended a 12 year relationship (I lost my best friend), and my first best friend was killed many years ago, and realized I have no support system. I reached out to my therapist and psychiatrist and random strangers on the internet. It helped but I crave a physical connection. Everyone says they'll be there when you need them, but then you don't want to be an inconvenience.
You’re a man, stop burdening other men with your problems. That’s not stoic and not how a man should act.
God bless you my brother. Cry silently and let God wash away your pain. We men are not emotionless robots. But you need to do something about it, bro.
Wow! What a heartless comment. He’s trying not to be an inconvenience and you’re telling him to stop burdening people. You shouldn’t be on this page upsetting others. He seems like a lovely person.
Stay strong! I'm a loner (46 y.o.) and have my mom but she's 80. No kids. I am really scared about getting older and having no one. I think about it all the time! Thanks for this video. I thought I was the only one.
You're not alone, Jill.
I feel ya. I'm 43 and my mom is 71 and we are roomates because cost of living here is too dang high. I feel the same way. I don't want to live the rest of my life with my insecurities. I would like to overcome them as I am ultimately getting older and then having no one just makes me really anxious.
I'm almost 57. I've been single about 15 years now. His story and feelings could easily be mine. Many people fill their lives with empty friendships to "fill the void." I do not recommend this. I've learned to go out to bars by myself, movies by myself, and even restaurants alone. I've learned to enjoy and appreciate my own company. Its better to be alone than spend time with the wrong people.
@@Scorchy666 I 100% agree with you! I call it having "filler friends" and don't want them either.
Totally feel that. You're not alone we share the same horrid thoughts !
You seem like a perfectly likeable, gentle, sensitive and loveable person from my perspective, and I'm sure any person watching's perspective. Im 47, 37 is not old or too late for anything. I wish you heartfelt luck and energy in getting to a better place.
He says he traveled over the world & squandered all his money. Sounds like he's had 1 hell of a good time!
This guy is telling it how it is. Hope he is feeling better now.
Sadly to late
@@Mike-y1q3v what do you mean?
@@Mike-y1q3vis he dead? Last upload 3 months ago
so brave of you to come online and talk about your difficulties and struggles. You have helped a lot of people for sure.
How ?
How has he helped a lot of people? Airheads shouldn't be allowed to voice their opinions.
@@electric0618 Really!!?
I'm 38 in a few weeks time. I feel the same, I'm stuck living at home, in a minimum wage job, getting minimum hours work, no relationship, no prospects of one, a constant failure at most things. I do enjoy talking to people but also feel awkward in larger groups, which I usually avoid. The only good thing I have going for me right now is I love making RUclips videos about collecting movies, that's as good as it is for me at the moment. I appreciate you sharing your story.
Hey happy soon to be birthday mate. Just keep on going on. It isn’t forever
Hey brother I feel your pain keep your head up high stay strong and tryst god in the process
I relate to you...I'm a bit younger but old enough to feel behind. I'm glad you talk a bit. You sound like you still have hope and I appreciate that.
And then some say money doesn't matter . What a joke, of course it does, because the lack of it drives people to dark places like this
@MissX W No one said they were unthankful.
But wouldn't they feel better if they could provide for themselves? No one wants to be dependent on another person.
I started jogging everyday and that improved my sleeping problem and my depression. Then I found a hobby and that is keeping me happy. I had difficulty focusing on a single task. Once I was able to focus on a single task, such as getting a job, I stopped thinking about the other things. Being able to maintain focus throughout the day really helped me.
If you have no where to jog or walk, march in place at 10 minute intervals at least twice a day. Lifts your mood, clears the mind, good for the body. Love to all here!
@@nahlabella4857 can we connect with another lonely spirit like you as a friend?
@@MadMax-qy8gg I have no problem with that.
👏👏👏👏 A positive attitude!! Thanks!! Thats what we need!!👍
@@nahlabella4857 Good advice!! Do some sit ups and push ups. Go on ebay and buy some used weight plates and a used barbell. Start a training exercise regimen 5X a week. It will make you feel alive again. Clears your head. I'm 66 with prostate cancer, and I live in a 1 bedroom apartment. If I can do it,you can too!!
It’s scary how accurate the yt algo is like how do they know that every single thing this man says mirrors my very existence. It’s not like I’m even looking that stuff up. I hope you’re doing better now brother and I’m sure by now from all the comments you know you’re not alone in your struggle. You deserve happiness.
Same
Its about 60% of people these days
Seriously, the same for me. I have only once mentioned it to someone. Maybe they are listening?
Me too... RUclips knows who their best customers are :D
Here we are, now.
I’m 41 and in a very similar situation . Keep trying and I hope that you feel better .
💔
I myself too...
😁💔💔😥💪🏻
No need to compromise. It is tough. But it is better to be alone at your age than be like those who go to bed with someone they don’t even want to see naked.
Cope
I found that giving made me happier. Volunteering for charities and helping people and animals gave me a reason. I would give that a try and you’ll find like minded people also.
Yes that is what I was going to suggest. Giving back is amazing
Very true x
You gave, but did they truly care? Highly unlikely if not completely impossible for the people, but the animals most likely did feel grateful and genuinely happy when seeing you in their own way.
@@kova1577 volunteer at animal shelter can be some kind of therapy
I will try that. Thanks
Can you get a pet? Animals are a comfort, give a sense of purpose, unconditional love, and really lift your spirits.
Yes! They hold no judgements just love.. They are so healing.
@@Veganism_is_death-vh2un It's not just a matter of loneliness - it's a matter of purpose. For women, it partially satisfies their maternal nature but for most guys, it's not going to fulfill the desire to have a partner and a real family. Getting an animal that simply sticks around because you feed it cannot be compared to the deep dynamics that go into a relationship with a spouse and raising kids.
@@Bristecom I beg to differ on that opinion..just look at the likes of who found a young cat on his travels and proceeded to travel Europe by bicycle with this cat as his companion.. pets when treated as companions have so much to give back not just dependency.
@@Veganism_is_death-vh2un absolutely..It's cars for me but yes dogs are wonderful companions too. It's what you give( the time/love / communication) that you get back with these animals and they never judge or double-cross 😊
Pets are a great source of love and comfort.
If wasn't for my cats and dogs, I think I would have committed suicide a long time ago.
I love you brother I'm in the same boat facing homelessness be. Happy you have a roof over your head thanks for sharing
I pray things are better for you now🙏✝️
38 and I’m right here with you. What I’m finding is that when I do find other humans, most are unpleasant, disrespectful, all about that rat-race, self-centered and just narcissistic. I hope you find a way that gets you where you eventually decideto be.
you should meet some american doctors, i think theyre the worst type of people youll ever meet in this life.
I get really bad vibes from people too. I’m sometimes not quite sure what they mean and if I ask I get snarked at! I always feel that the snark is because I actually spotted something when I wasn’t supposed to and that is why it irks them 😣
Dude I feel that so hardcore. It's like everybody's an asshole.
Hi,ty for being so honest about this. I am in a very similar position. So makes me realise I’m not alone with it. I’m 46 now,I had long relationship that lasted 12 years. That was over 10 years ago. Since then I have had attempts at relationships. But they never work out. I too find it hard to see the good in people. Really hard to trust.There doesn’t seem to be any genuine people out there anymore. Everyone’s judgemental. I find being single at my age. People think it’s wierd. They need to put people in a box and label it. As it makes them feel better in some way. Like you I don’t feel like I serve any purpose. But I try to put my attention in family. People I love.
Maybe we are here to live this kind of life to try to understand ourselves. If we were surrounded by friends and women. Would we have time to understand ourselves?Would we be the same person,have the same amount of compassion for others?
I try to think, there has to be a reason behind everyone’s life situation.
The smallest actions sometimes have a massive affect. The ripple affect in water. With this video you have touched so many lives. Total respect from me. Also. Women love an honest man. It’s a rare thing nowadays. So I see some offers coming your way. You will be fine 👍
This thing about people are too self-centered also hit me. i dont kknow why.
I got divorced at 36. I was living in a bed sit. Now at 43 I’m married, own a home, just got a great new job, my wife’s pregnant and I’m happy. Not to gloat, my point is have hope. There’s still lots to live for!
Thanks for the positive words
Here's the thing I was devoted to my man 26 years and he got tired of me. If devotion can't keep a man happy then I've got nothing to offer another person.
@Google Account Don't you have anything better to do with your life?
@Google Account So the answer is "no". As expected. Live it up, loser!
As strange as it seems, here is the way women view you. If you haven't been married and divorced by your mid 30's, women view you as the devil. If you are divorced in your mid 30's, women think you are God.
I feel exactly this same way. Am 43 and there is no purpose, no husband, no kids, no friends - nothing - it’s a whole heap of nothing. It all started with my divorce - friends disappeared and all my dreams of family and kids vanished. I was so close and all my dreams got snatched away in a blink. Empty empty - I do have a job but it’s the only thing I have - does not make a difference. My depression, anxiety and ptsd are my companions now - so empty - just like you wondering why can’t anyone love me for who I am. I am a good person - very kind, honest, loving, compassionate - but apparently not enough 😣 don’t feel alone - as you can see there’s a lot of us feeling stuck…feeling like our soul is crushed - feeling everyone else is happy while we are stuck and staring as everyone else lives happily ever after. You’ve already made a difference by sharing - it’s made my morning today a bit easier to tolerate - your video helped me - you are making a difference. I put a podcast out a few months back - no one even watched it. But see you have helped so many of us. Hugs!! You’re not alone.
Sucks nobody replied to you. How are you doing now? Any better?
I hope you are doing better 💛
I hope you are better💓
Trying again. How are you these days?
I'm 35, no kids, never been married either 💚 it helps me knowing I'm not alone..
This guy has accomplished so much in life and by having the bravery to post this on RUclips, he's accomplishing so much more than most people could ever hope to.
got really lonely being an online creator, getting a dog really did helped. got me to go outside
gives one purpose
Dogs are life-saving! 🐾❤️
@@nannettefreeman7331 And incredibly cute! 😁
Dogs love you unconditionally
Good one. That's a great idea!
There's people with family but can't talk to them because they're so toxic.
More than ten years now...
Same here, i rarely speak with my family, they always just throw insults at me, so toxic ppl they are
True
It's different. When you are estranged from your family, there is always a chance that might change. When family simply does not EXIST, has never existed...you could not possibly relate. Just like I can't relate when someone says to me, "Sure, we've had our differences, but you know, s/he will always be my sister)brother" or "You know how family is." No, I don't. I have no frame of reference for concepts like that. I grew up without parents, aunt's, uncle's, siblings, or cousins. I have no children, nieces or nephews. I have no living blood relatives, haven't had any for nearly 20yrs, since my grandparents died. No one has ever called me daughter, sister, niece, cousin, aunt or mom, & no one ever will. I am no one to anyone, & I never will be. I am profoundly & irretrievably disconnected from the rest of humanity, whom I can clearly see, are all quite naturally & effortlessly interconnected.
I'm like a free radical,meandering through a Universe without a proper place, bumping into stuff, shaking tñings up, then ricocheting off to my next random collision!
Ain't that the truth.
If you come from a really big family -- and they've turned on you (for whatever reason) -- it's like the trauma of leaving a long time cult. They're sadistic and cruel and will never let you go, leave you be, or treat you respectfully. It's shunning. And then things to disrespect you - try to irritate you. Constantly.
I'm 61. Like you , I had a life once . I lost it all through my own mistakes! I get exactly where you are coming from! Your not alone bro. And Time is on your side👍 Try starting off with community work once or twice a week! Your past experiences may help others not to go down the same route.Take care of yourself ☘️☘️👍
I'm 62. I'm learning to like my own company. I'm learning to love myself.
There are worse things than being alone. Being alone in a crowd is one of them .
People that don’t struggle with depression and anxiety find it hard to understand but people that do understand completely.
Yea I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts for over a decade now, and I was unfortunate enough to be stuck around a small group a few months ago that talked down to and couldn't understand why someone would want to suicide which the conversation wasn't about me. I thought about interjecting and busting their balls, but I didn't feel like revealing to the group who my Dad and a youth pastor was in that I've been suicidal and it's a very real and difficult thing to cope with. I cannot stand people that don't even try to attempt to put themselves in others shoes, to have complete lack of empathy and not attempting to comprehend anything but what their miniscule narrowminded false since of reality allows them to see. Ultimately people almost always let you down or dismiss your issues, especially family half the time
@@joshrakestraw3319 its like as if all life just looked at everything you have done and said "ummm ................ dont care none of my buisness deppresed man get on your feet" because to be happy you have to have something to offer to other people otherwise people wont bother with you thats just how it is you feel rejected because we are social beings but deeply lacking empathy also social media has made all of us lack emotion everything feels the same now for everyone whole emotions and life changing experiences are described like nothing undermining our lives when in reality fuck all of that you control yourself and thats a starting point for success dont feel overwhelmed by success of others but put yourself above them and fight dont flight into deppresion id rather fight deing than suffer deing.
It doesn't matter if you understand or not, nothing will change from that.
What I learned from life is that everybody is busy fighting their own demons and problems, the only person who can help you is yourself.
@@SuperAvocadoo very well said
100%
One of the saddest things I have had to go through was realising I was not liked nor loved when I previously thought I was. The wake up call was life changing and heart breaking.
Hi Cookie, the same thing here. As you said it was like someone slapped me in the face and I hate it. Can’t believe it or process it still. My anger is boiling and I don’t know what to do about it. I was just used and abused the whole time.
@@afraalsamkari2445 I think it might be a case of we didn't really understand or were oblivious to human dynamics and suddenly woke up to the true reality of it. Maybe, I don't know. But yeah its a real slap in the face. Stay strong Afra x
@@Cookie-Yeah09 Thank you for enlightening me and for your nice words💕❤️.
I think you are correct. I hope that there’s something we can change or fix so that we would stay alive and strive. Love and Hugs 🤗 💕👍🏻❤️ for you Cookie.
Did you get a divorce?
Not so uncommon - you aren’t alone. We’re here to talk.
I'm 51 and going through everything you talked about. I've had depression and anxiety all my life. I know you're suffering, but I'm glad you shared it.
I just turned 58. Family was crazy and abusive, and all dead now. Had the love of my life of many years give up on me about 3 years ago. I don't blame her. I've never been able to hold a job. I've literally had hundreds of them. Never learned to do anything but heavy construction. Now at my age I can't do it. I just quit another one because of pain. I'm living in a cheap motel and sometimes my truck. Some people don't have the tools to figure it out, especially if mental issues exists, which they almost always do. I'm not gonna stay here much longer. Fear, desperation, loneliness. Just tired. ✌
@pewdssepticeyeI can relate but use your situation to your advantage. Work hard at your age and make as much money as possible and buy your own place to start with. It's a lot easier to do at 16 rather than trying to start in life when you're 30. I'm not saying you won't have hard times ahead but it's better to be alone on your terms than surrounded by people who make you feel alone especially family. You're 16 and got time but time is finite so get to work and use it wisely. You got this bro 💪
@pewdssepticeye go back to school and then graduate and go in the military...it will give you $ and healthcare etc and you will meet lots of people.....please go back to school....it is the only way to make it in this world
@@coolbreeze1627 me too I feel the same way
38 and practically the same situation, it's like there is a same pattern. The feeling we are not made for this world, wrong in everything, born by mistake.
As a 44 year old that has no kids or family, the one thing that gives me peace is knowing that no matter what I do financially, it wont matter. That’s why I try get out and do adventures, and not worry about buying a house or saving money. I’ll be dead and gone, and knowing that I won’t be leaving anyone in financial rune is comforting. It sucks that I didn’t take advantage of the opportunities I had to have kids. I do feel like I missed out on a lot of what life has to offer by not having kids, but what’s done is done, and I refuse to feel bad about it. Stay strong brother, and try and have some fun. I know it can be rough at times. Getting a pet helps too.
hi hon, im learning in my psychology courses at college from a wise professor that changed my life that besides the “viscious cycle”, we often forget that there is such thing as the “virtuous cycle.” it’s about doing good for others that in turn make yourself feel good. it’s actually amazing how easy and simple it is- participating in volunteer work like food drives, helping homeless, animals if you like, anything charity related. i think you should try it. it’s an opportunity for you to meet people, and then write about how you feel after when you come home! thx
Every time I hear a screaming dipshit kid, I'm reminded of why I never wanted kids.
Mate, you have plenty of time to do the things you want like have a family. Trust me when I say you can!
I also feel the same. I’m in my late 40’s. No kids, no husband, no friends. I always wanted kids, my mother had foster kids when I was in high school and I loved them to death. Over 30 years later I still think about them. My biggest regret in life. My family name ends with me. I have depression and it’s hard to accept I will never find love or have what I see others have in those cute instagram shorts I torture myself with. I also wonder how this guy is doing now. He made this around heavy Covid times so i know he was feeling worse. And yes, I feel desperate and as a woman it’s worse finding love. Men my age want younger women not women their own age. It’s definitely soul destroying.
44 is still not too late. I know people in their 50s starting a family.
I've been in the same boat for a very long time. Except for me instead of traveling, I became an alcoholic. I'm 34 and still here and embarrassed about it.. I respect the fact that you made this video. I couldn't have done it. You described it exactly. I thought I was the only one. Thank you for being here brother. God bless you my friend, I wish you and anyone else that is stuck in the same hole the absolute best. You're awesome! Don't ever give up!
I’m similar situation, yet I’m sober, over 20 years! IF you want to reach out.
😢😢
Snap, 36 tho
@@philly3901 Don't give up my brother. God sees what we all go through. Being set apart can be the best blessing in our entire lives. But it can be hard to see that while living in darkness. Sometimes we are separated from the wrong people so that we can find the right ones. If they are the right people, you will know. Because they will never give up on you. Have patience my friend. And God bless you
37 an in the same damn boat for years now brother, it’s a f’n nightmare.
For whoever landed here and needs it, I'm sending you all the good vibes and positive energy I can. I'm in the same boat.
You’re not alone bro, I feel the exact same way. Always been an outcast and diagnosed with pschizoaffective many years ago but feel like its more resonate with cptsd from isolating and people at school talking about me and belittling me constantly from a young age. Feeling like I have no identity and tense around people, and would usually keep quiet to fit in. Now I’m 32 and living by myself. Feel like anyone I’ve gotten close too has sensed that neediness and always end up getting hurt/ taken advantage of. Feel like a weirdo being the only single living person in the neighborhood especially at my age. And always think about those people that talked about me are living their lives with kids careers and a family, while my life is still shaped by the low self esteem from the abuse. Thank you so much for sharing! Sometimes I have contemplated suiceid because it truly hurts and every seems dreadful and gotten to this point from constant mistakes made. Can’t work because fearful of people and can’t do anything effectively. It’s really hitting hard now, but this video is one of the few that give me comfort when feeling like ending it. Wish there really was a community 😢 but Hope you are in a better place and are blessed ✊
I'm 35, all the things you described..I'm going through the exact same things: lonliness, anxiety, unstability, you name it. That is not to say I'm trivializing your experience, or anyone elses for that matter. I'm writing this because your current life situation really speaks to me, and to let you know that you are not alone bro.
What are you doing at the moment and where are you from?
@@ArturoGarzaID Hi Arturo, I'm from California. Well I'm currently staring at my screen, something I've been doing for a few hours. How about you?
@@jeanmarc7563 haha... I meant as a job are you employed etc? Is everything going ok?
@@ArturoGarzaID Yeah...lol, nope unemployed
@@jeanmarc7563 Got any plans to change things?
I am 47 years old with no friends, no life and lost my job. I have been friendless for the better part of 29 years. I am sick of it and it's worse on the weekends. Reading all of the comments on this thread and watching this video shows me that there are thousands of men out here on feel the same. Let's do something about it. There has got to be a way to connect men connect with each other.
Bro I'm only 3 years into it. I can't imagine how you've coped with 29years. The weekends are the worst for sure. I try to bury myself in work but it cripples me knowing I can't just go out and enjoy shit like others without looking like the wierd guy on my own. I dread dating or getting into a relationship because they will inevitably find out I have no friends.
@@fasttrackblastback8286same
start lifting
Ha ha
@@fasttrackblastback8286 damn I feel you brother.
Sat on my kitchen floor watching this, I feel so alone all the time and just want a friend more than anything. I just got a job after not working for years and I still feel as sad as I did before if not worse, I just don’t see the point sometimes in keeping going when I’m in so much pain. I just want it to get better. Thank you for sharing this.
I tried working also, but it made me more depressed, seeing those people that are there i saw in there eyes they didnt want to be there so i quit. I joined a club but even that is not working because most of them have family or wives , and single ladies are very hard to find . Sitting at home 90% of the time thinking of suicide all day just to end my pointless life, if i lay dead here people find me after a week maybe more, cause theres not a single soul checking up on me . Its going like this for 7 years now,and i dont see it changing.
Its like the more i try to connect the more i be let down
Can i contact you on Instagram??????
ruclips.net/video/34_TnLsXxEI/видео.htmlsi=RqAGQuRBeHIJZRhQ
I have dysthymia, chronic depression. My mood was very down every day, due to an unloving family and other problems. I spoke to my doctor and she prescribed Wellbutrin. My family is still unloving and the other problems are still there, but Wellbutrin helps to stabilize my mood. I don't feel like I'm at rock bottom with no hope every day, like I used to. See a doctor; you might have an underlying condition such as depression that you may need medication for to help you feel better. God bless.
Good to have a conversation with a buddy who has almost exactly same troubles. Honestly good to be empathic.
The irony of most of us living in city with internet. It's like we are alone together. This video makes me feel good because there are other people having the same familiar feelings and thoughts that I do have
You are being tested. The discontent you feel is your inner self trying to push you to step outside what you know as a routine and make a change. You are certainly worthy of being loved, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. I went through a similar depression in college, surrounded by people. I had to learn to love myself. It isn’t like flipping a light switch, but it can be done over time. If you have hobbies, seek out others who are into the same thing. Praying for you, bud. You are heard, and certainly not alone.
I'm with you guys.
Seems there's many of us who have gone through this. It's worth it in the end.
Do you think it has to do with self-love?
Thanks for saying this, man. It touched me.
He's not alone! Hear me out. I can't even get myself to get a full time job, because I feel so lousy. I a have par time job, but it's difficult. lIke something is wrong with me. . maybe it is a test, that you will realize one day that you never needed any one. It WAS about self love. This is not talked about enough.
This was like watching a mirror. I'm with you, sorry you're going through what I am. I hope things got or get better for you.
Hang in there Brother, lotta good comments in here that may help,God Bless!
I felt the exact same way.I’m always feeling like life just passed me by and all of the people that I called my friends either moved away from me or got married and had kids.I struggle with mental illness and I know that has a lot to do with where I’m at in my life.I try and stay productive and it helps a little but I always end up sitting in my apartment questioning my existence and why I’m so alone.
Same, so much of the same of what you and others in the comments section are experiencing/have experienced, is what I've experienced and have been experiencing very recently. I just know something is "missing" and not quite right within me. It's such a gut feeling that is so strong it calls into my body every morning when I wake up. I could even say it's in my soul, but when I conceive of it that way it makes me feel more in peril and out of reach with combating it. Except one may say, for example, that it can be defeated through faith in God, Jesus Christ, or other deities, depending on the cultural origin of person who's suggesting the faith route. And that's the thing. You can never "know" unless you try. Well what if the devil in you is so strong that you cannot weaken it because you're not strong enough yourself? And given that strength is a gradient, for its overcoming, how do you know when you're even close or nearly there? And I can perfectly understand why people invoke the unseen qualities of the dark side, like spiritual brokenness, as a possible explanation of what has caused emotional pain within someone who's suffering existentially. For me it's like my strings have been cut, and I've lost all of my potency.
They say that what we think about ourselves is what we create. So it's clear that if the mindset can change, all else will follow on for the better. But the only way that would work is if we change our actions, ignoring the negative voices. This is very difficult though, if the voices are so prominent in a person's imagination that it tells them (or you're telling yourself subconsciously) that what you're "doing" in the moment of purposeful distraction is not aligned to what you truly want - that it's just a distraction for its own sake, stopping you from ruminating on the sofa or in bed. In that way the negative thoughts/mental chattering is not abating
You are not the only person who feels this way my friend .
I truly hope you will find hapiness in your life very soon.
You are so brave to have shown such vulnerability in sharing your story. It's so relatable.
I have no friends or family, apart from one brother. Everyone around me has died in recent years and now I live alone in my mid-40s. Life has taken a wrong path, but I'm trying to correct it.
Keep working at it, meet new people, try new things. Work on your diet, more and more science is telling us our stomach, our diet affects our mental well being. Go and have a full analysis and find out what you should and should not be eating. Combine it with exercise and trying new things, make life interesting.
Never give up, life is a gift
You want to ask for this man phone no or email then you can both keep in touch with each other
WHERE ARE YOU IN THE WORLD ?
@@inserter400 Portugal
32 and never had a career, any of the goals I set seem to die on arrival, and that is because I'm doing any and everything on my own all the time, which just adds to how boring and empty everything feels and now all my friends have found a partner and got married to them, or they just moved away. We lost contact, and I am just...Here...alone...with no family, and that is because my birth family is just filled with angry, mean, awful people who just drag me down every chance they get, so I cut them out of my life...so here I am with nothing but an empty life.
You are not the only one; I feel the same emptiness you do. But I do envy that you got to travel the world 🌎 at least, but I can see that didn't help you feel less empty, which makes me wonder what the hell are we missing from our lives.
Giving you love Allen , not gay or anything ,, but take a big hug pal !! Things will change !!you'll meet someone out of the blue one day, life has a funny way about it
I'm out there with you brother. Please don't give up. This life is a rough plastic shithole, but if you keep focus and find a mission like in a game, be it stacking money or learning new skills, etc, that's what keeps you up. Many people choose drugs and those drugs drag them to tomorrow's grave. Money doesn't, that's my mission. Without it, I wouldn't really have a goal and I would feel empty and aimless.
Be bold and start something new in your life like getting a new hobby everyday is a new day, set as big and as much goals as possible but break them down into smaller chunks then improve them by fraction of 1% for each and every single days remember also not to be too hurry as you have plenty of times in your hand, lastly I am into sketching and painting these days as I have left my job 2 years ago..i am 38 yrs old right now
@@Steven82kl Thanks for your comment! Good info
I really felt this.
It’s hard to feel like you’re not alone due to the way our society atomises us as individuals. It’s hard to keep friends as everyone is encouraged to move away and isolate themselves off.
I understand the irritability and frustration with life feeling like it’s on hold or stuck.
I hope you can find some happiness and meaning. Stay strong.
I'm 35 and going through the exact same thing. Had similar experiences, travelled, lived abroad for 2 years, had fun in my 20s etc. But now jobless, back living at home, friends have moved on with their own families now or emigrated permanently, i never finished university, the anxiety, depression and stress of all that led to actual physical head problems, constant headaches and disorientation. It's like a hole one just can't get out of. I feel like I'm never going to be normal again. I think our situations are more common than we think.
You have a roof over your head, no physical health problems (i think) and access to the NHS. Try using those things/services as a starting point for recovery.
I've bought a book called Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World. It's a 8 week programme. The book was made by Oxford university, there's science behind it. It helps with anxiety, stress, mental health problems etc. It could be useful as a starting point too.
I'm 20 and scared to get job because of my social anxiety life is sucks😓
@@playstationtwo877 similar position. I recommend behind the scene jobs or stay at home jobs or just jobs that deal with less people. This can be broad and depends on what your interest is. Like warehouse jobs to stocking jobs to administrative jobs to working at the post office. Start off with part time jobs and work your way up. That's what I was doing. Oh, library jobs were my favorite and I am pursuing it as a career. Very laid back job or even if you can get some volunteer positions to get used to working and being around people. ALSO ALSO ALSO, try to take a few bathroom breaks throughout your shifts--thats when you'll get a breather and collect yourself when your anxiety starts to become too much. Also, don't be afraid to quit jobs that make you miserable. I quit my retail job after 1 month because customers were rude asf and my manager sucked
This is what you get for being a f* boy in your 20s. Sorry man. Karma.
Read the bible too
Welcome to my life. You’re not alone. I’m 57 and have accomplished nothing. I’ve had one gf in my life and spent most of my life alone. I had friends but as you said they all moved on. It seems every woman that I like never feels the same way. Feeling lonely and depressed is worse than cancer. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.
Please don't think so bad about yourself. You are not less worthy than anyone else with acomlishments. You still matter. :)
Omg - SAME HERE!! Same age as you, and completely alone in the world. Depression kills the soul, body & spirit. Longest death ever.
I am the same age. No family, no friends, no will to live, no girlfriend, not recognized at work, no matter how hard I work, I speak with this fucking accent that make people run from me, I am in constant frightening mode, depress, with suicidal thoughts all they long, God does not listen, Jesus does not listen, I am finding my self talking to the walls, I am ashamed of how I look, I have not accomplished anything in life, I have no idea why am I here, I have no idea the purpose of my life, is the same shit every single day, I have no motivation to create or doing anything to make me happy, I hate my place to live, I hate the neighborhood where I live, I hate the car I drive, I am just disgusted with myself and just want to be gone... but too coward to take my own life and be done with it. Please pray for me brother...please pray for me...
@@richardandretti2680 mate I thought I failed cos I don't drive! at least you can drive! So u doing better then me! I still will pray for ya though! I know all about that suicide cowardice thing and just wished I lived in the USA were shotguns are legal
Why dont we make a fb group, just sharing our thoughts, break throught shit together.
I’m 33 and feel this way. Thank you for sharing your truth. I thought I too was the only one.
Same here. From France
Thank you for posting this. It made me very emotional because it hurts to hear someone suffering in that way. I also know all too well what depression, hopelessness and a lack of purpose feels like. I too am 37yrs old and was dumped last year after a 7yr relationship. I don't have any children but want them. My entire family is in Russia and here it's just my mom, Dad and brother and everyone is on their own and living their own lives. I don't have any friends because like you said, everyone developed families, moved away etc. Everyone my age is already settled down and not necessarily looking to mingle. It's very difficult on a lot of days, it is. However, I mainly want to commend you for sharing this so publicly. That's very courageous of you. I rarely let anyone know how truly lonely and desperate for connection I am sometimes. I put on a facade of coolness, happiness and free of care. It's just so embarrassing and vulnerable for me to be open about this to people. So for you to come out and speak on these topics is a big deal and I'm proud of you. Just know that it definitely helped me today knowing that I'm not alone. ❤
If you dont mind me asking, what country are you in?
@@karlhans6678 right now I'm in the US
2 years ago I was exactly in your situation until I got a dog. That decision changed everything and now I know nearly every dog owner in my neighbourhood. Sometimes we even go for a drink. Plus I get the love of my beautiful dog who also gave me the motivation to simply live. I wouldn't change him for anything in the world. Recently I started a part-time job. A miracle! I hope this helps if you are still feeling stuck. Keep your pecker up and the best of luck.
have you ever watched the disney film called soul?
That is so cute
You do know the dog only follows you around because he thinks there's going to be food involved.
too bad you’ll always outlive ur dog
"keep your pecker up"?😂. Stay erect bro
There are many people who have jobs, friends and families and feel much the same as you.
True, there's still an emptiness, we need The Lord Jesus Christ, He can fill the void, He laid down His life so we can have eternal Life. It is all real, Jesus Christ is the only Way to Heaven. Seek Him and be saved, God bless you.
@@pppb9086 Stop talking rubbish.
No
Oh man, I SO hear you brother! I'm 55 next week. Before COVID destroyed Western society, I was traveling. I met a girl in Cambodia, moved here, married her, spent almost my entire life's savings keeping us both, after my country locked me out for two & a half years. Now I'm down to the last of my money, my home country, friends & family are pretty much gone & there's nothing left for me there- I'm stranded. I have nowhere to go, but try & move ahead here, in an impoverished country where there are very few opportunities to earn enough to survive on. The girl is gone & blew my life to bits before leaving, so I'm having to rebuild from scratch. Everything you said resonates with me & my own situation. Every morning- if I even manage to wake up before lunchtime- is an exercise in utter panic & despair. Depression is the true pandemic of the times we live in. In the small town I live in, which is beautiful, there have been three expat suicides in two months. You are not alone, in fact you are one of a great many. I feel for your generation, you live in a reality construct that seems to have no future. I cannot offer you any advice except to try & be thankful for what you do have, no matter how insignificant it may seem to you, give where & when you can & whatever you do, DON'T self isolate. Don't give up. Find people who can relate to you & genuinely care. I know such people exist, because I'm lucky enough to have one or two who've kept me alive through the darkest times. Don't be afraid to share your despair & trust in people who will listen- they are out there. I know how you feel because you pretty much described my own state of mind exactly & trust me, at my age, when you can start to calculate the years you have left, looking ahead seems bleak. I take every day as it comes; I try to achieve even one small thing every day & keep faith that my life will go on & opportunity will present itself. You're in The Hole bro, just keep focused on the light above. For the record, I think you show incredible bravery opening up like this. Remember you are one of many, we are all casualties of a global psy-op to deprive us of hope so we will take whatever is offered, or take our own lives instead. Don't succumb to the despair, keep fighting it, it's not over yet.
That comment was a movie, you should tell your story , it beeds to be heard. Im 34 and dream of being an expat but it might just be a grass is greener fallacy. Men have been deprived of our humanity and we need to do something about it as a group, because we are divided and conquered. There are many sadistic women who thrive off of our pain. They dont want our money, our kids they want our souls.
Yes, there are people who are intentionally destructive. Why can you not come back to your home state? Did a visa expire?
@@colettespencer3357 i didnt leave. I want to but it seems everywhere is crumbling.
I just turned 50.
Trusting a woman was your biggest mistake. Now you're broke because you blew it all on her upkeep just so she could dump you after she drained you. You can live with a woman even for 50 years, but never trust her, treat her as a roommate you have sex with
i feel better about my own lack of friends and family, by hearing him sharing his experiences
I been laid off from jobs, downsized, new jobs obtained close down, the disability strikes, lost steady income, couldn't keep up with friends financially, they quietly faded away from me. I'm like this guy. All I have is a rented room, all I own in that room. Now a senior with limited mobility, limited income. Tough to go through each day. I keep going to see how far I can make it to live.
Hey friend. I am close to your story. I am not preaching to you. I just want to share what (WHO) has given me hope, peace, and comfort through my days. The Almighty. You'll find Him if you seek Him. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Read the Bible. The Gospel of John. The Psalms. He will meet you as you meet Him. Blessings my friend.
@@brianj5495 don't send him to "The Almighty" yet, people don't do that!
You are not alone in this. Everything you said is my life exactly. Had friends when I was young but have been completely alone for years. No friends, No family, just myself struggling every day to make it another day. I'm so sorry for what you are going through and I'm sending you love and hugs 💓
When you're younger, you live more care-free than when you're older. When you're older you collect all these headaches and unresolved baggage that makes life feel like a burden. Once you start to resolve all this baggage, you feel more care-free and friendship starts to be more like a fun game again.
So, it would be good to look for what would make you happy again; look through all the dark baggage. It might envolve taking risks, but look at it this way: you got nothing to lose. One day you will die anyway, so you might as well die while you do what you want to do.
Sometimes it helps to be in such a deep hole that there is no other than to throw all the old garbage away and take a risk. For some it might be the risk of quitting their sh*tty job (and figuring out what will be next), or moving to a place where there is more nature or living off-grid in a simple an self-sufficient way (working with nature, grow your own food, live cheap so you don't have to work that much). All these things take courage and hold risks, but once you're convinced there will also be the faith that it will work out. Once you know what you want to do, you will become unstoppable anyway, but don't go the easy way because that will not be worthwhile.
I truly wish you all the best and I regret I can not tell you what your dream might be!!!!
"When you dont't care about anything, then you don't care about life at all." Seems like obviousness but it's so true at the same time! I am also stuck with my life (for 3 years) and feel scared of changing but I know it can help me to find a kind of sense of life because now it seems like everything is meaningless and empty
I can relate! Your life isn’t over, you’ve got time to work through the stuff your struggling with. I’ve been there, hell millions of people across the globe are going through the same things. You are not alone. It’s gonna take work but it is worth it.
The only way out is through.
An old friend gave me that advice years ago and it has stuck with me ever since. The only way out of your circumstance, any given circumstance, is to face your fears, your discomfort, your problems head on. It’ll be difficult, but most things worth doing are difficult. I feel like that’s the only way most of us grow and mature as people is to tackle these sort of issues head on. Nobody else can do it for you and even if they could the lessons learned through the trials and tribulations would be lost on them.
You’ve got this! Start small, begin with taking care of yourself. Your hygiene, your appearance, your health. Then start cleaning your room or making y our bed. Then, do the dishes, take the trash out, clean the yard, etc.
Making friends and romantic partners when your older can be really difficult Find hobbies, have new experiences then find people who also enjoy doing this things. I know it can be uncomfortable and awkward talking to new people but you’ll eventually develop that skill and before you know it you’ll have a circle of friends who love and care about you. But you have to start, you have to take the first step. It may be the most difficult step but as I said, it’ll be worth it.
I'm 67 year old woman and my family and friends have either passed away or moved on with their own partners, kids, friends, grandkids etc. I have a daughter and although she does text me to say I love you, I rarely see her or talk on the phone. It literally seems as though I'm this satellite or moon circling around the people I know. When they have spare time, they will text me, but I don't have my very own family or friend group. So every day for several years now, I've been alone. When I lost my job, it got even worse. I don't even hear a human voice unless it's a cashier or a customer service rep. I will go days without anyone addressing me personally. Day after day after day. The older you get, the worse it is. So my advice to you is to force yourself to get a job. Perhaps you will care about it- you don't know. If worse comes to worse, you can always quit.
@Sky L I love you both. Hope your lives get better xx
We have a lot in common. My daughter moved away a year ago and I'm lucky if she returns a simple text. She never calls and is always busy. My son also moved away. I am completely alone. I'm almost 55 and I don't belong anywhere. I have no friends and no family, at least no one that I talk to. If I die at home, no one will even notice I'm gone.
I'm 42 and my life is very similar. My daughter never calls my son hardly answers when I call. I'm a pretty good father in my opinion but it seems I'm not as good as I believe myself to be in that aspect. From poor decisions on my part I'm in a position that has lead me to a rock and hard place as they say but on one hand it's hard but on the other hand I was built for it as my life has dealt me a hand that since childhood left me to depend on myself so a hard life is something I'm custom to I just don't want my children to have to absorb life like I did. I'm blessed they have plenty of love surrounding them regardless if the accept my love or not..I wish you well, peace and happiness as you define it to be ❤
In the UK, there is a topic in regards to aging population.
And such population suffer from loneliness and depression.
This is why it's always nice to talk to them when you meet them. Cause they want interaction cause back at hoke they probably got none.
Is why a lot of elderly likes to go shopping. To see other people or friends or to talk to cashiers and sales rep.
There are even shops or markets that has their own dedicated cashier line where the elderly can meet and talk to the staff or cashier in their own time.
Yeah, I hate people who say things will get better with time. It gets EXPONENTIALLY WORSE with time.
Hey man ,
Good video and heart felt.
I was drafted into the Marines in 68 and sent to Viet Nam in 69. I never thought I'd see 1970 much less be 70.
I struggled with ptsd for years but internalized it and drank a case of beer every day to get to sleep, more passing out.
The Marines sent me to become a mechanical engineer and I made obscene money after.
I bought houses, corvettes, boats for cash,and took my family on month long vacations, but I was still alone.
Dont let life just happen to you go out and grab it and turn the negativity into a positive. Turn off the negative media, negative people, and be thankful for all you've been given.
I'm done being an adrenaline junky now and discovering what I'll be when I grow up. I still don't let others get close but thankful for each day.
Adopt an attitude of gratitude and give back while paying it forward.
I'm pullin' for you and we're all in this together.
Believe me that you have nowhere to go but up.
Mate they are plenty of us out here, i can vouch for all you've said. Stay as strong as you can!
Life is meant to break us down until we finally are sick and tired of being sick and tired. These experiences are meant to push us out of our comfort zone and follow our inner compass which we all seem to ignore. These experiences are not happening TO you. They are happening FOR you. One day you will understand what I mean. The people who have been through it understand what I mean. Every single successful person on this earth has been through some kind of hardship like this. Don't give up brother. We are descendants of warriors. We are strong enough.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 this !!!
> Life is meant to break us down
That's exactly what your capitalist over-lords want you to think. Blaming yourself excuses the systems in-play that favor few at the expense of the many. Stop licking their boots.
OMG that is powerful
I’m 67 and feel just like you and all you’re describing. Self destructive behavior has pushed those who love me away. I’ve never felt so low.
I’m so sorry. I feel your pain through this comment. Can I pray for you, William? God Bless you, hope you’re ok
@williamkiely9523 : I’m nearly 69 and never had the self-destructive behaviour you speak of and I’m alone but I’ve done OK for myself. You are correct tho, that self-destructive behaviour does drive people away. The problem as i see it is once you’ve done that those people will convince themselves that you will never change and distance themselves from you fearing you will become a burden to them .Unlike the previous comment made I don’t think praying will help you. There is only one thing that can help you and that is YOU !! You have to make change happen. I hope you’re up to it . Good luck 👍
But people do change. And that's where prayer and following Jesus Christ come in. We have to forgive others so that we can be forgiven. Hope you understand that with Him we have everlasting life. Lean on in Him in all things.@@Kingcarparpeggio
I feel like it gets more challenging to make and maintain friends as we get older. I'm in my 30s now and most of my friends are busy with careers, marriage, starting families, etc while i'm floating through life a bit directionless at the moment. Covid also didn't help! Once my province lifts lockdown, i'm making a conscious effort to try new things and put myself out there to hopefully stumble upon my path or maybe meet some new likeminded people. Hope you find your way sir. Life is a lot of trial and error, ups and downs.
covid didnt do anything your government did
The fact that you can recognise your situation is a huge step towards doing something about it.
I resonate with many parts of your message, and I hope life has improved in the past two years. You’re a lovely person and I for one would be honored to be your friend.