For me it's the opposite, i desired to have a lot of friends when i was younger,now i m in my 30's.i feel better alone.most ppl trying to take advantage of me,when i dnt let them,they walk out of my life.making friends is just not my priority right now.
I feel the same way. I just think I care about other people more now that I’ve come to God. I would love to connect with people that I missed the opportunity to connect with throughout life out of apathy.
I was married for 31 years to a man who would not be my friend. It was the most lonely experience of my life . I waited and waited and waited, then I found distractions, my children and my work and then my children grew up and I found myself running out of runway. I realized that I lived a role as a a character in in the lives of other people I leaned hard on my faith and I left that marriage. He remarried immediately and I was affirmed that I was not special. He never intended to be my friend. I filled a role in his life and I was not loved. I am so grateful that I realized it before I ran completely out of life. Now I look at everybody through the prism of friendship. I don't have enough time left to squander on meaningless enterprises. I don't wait any more.
Thank you...but I am grateful for the hardship...it has given me wisdom and autonomy and I am now married to a true treasure trove of a man. The church annulled the first marriage. I am free. Thanks be to God.
@@CrazyBlueBeast marriages can be strengthened over the years or can become a vacant bond, and both depend on active participation of both spouses, which i think didnt work out for Lynne. 30 years is a very long which shows that she tried. Lynne, i wish i was brave like you
I have bad social anxiety, but also have a longing for friendship. I don’t like being around people and I like being at home, but I also feel so lonely and miss having a connection with people. My cousins have gotten married recently and they all had lots of bridesmaids and they all seemed so close and happy. I don’t even have 1 friend to attend my birthday let alone a wedding. 🥺
Understand you on that one. I've made "working on yourself" a lifestyle and made connection a secondary thing. It's very true, at the end of the day, we need others of similar virtues that'll open us and strengthen us.
I didnt have bridesmaids at my wedding either and was lucky enough to have my parents because I live in another country. To me its not quantity, but quality.
I sympathize with you. I also have bad social anxiety. But you’re not alone. A lot of people struggle with that I feel and I pray that God takes all your anxieties away. ❤
My heart goes out to you dear one. You are so loved and needed. I am going to pray for you to meet at least one person who has been searching for someone exactly like you (social anxiety and all) to form a deep and meaningful relationship with. God bless.
I don’t have any friends nearby, but I went to a catholic mass for the first time the other day. And I shook hands with those nearby when we wished each other peace. Then I spoke with Fr. Marten for about an hour after and he gave me a few books on catholic doctrines and a rosary. It meant so much to someone who doesn’t get out much. I hope I can join you guys come Easter. In the meantime I’ll practice praying the rosary like Fr. Marten said.
Remember we do have a Best friend Guardian Angel assigned to us before we were born who Loves, protects and intercede for us every second of every hour 🕊💕😊
If your rosary becomes a struggle try changing it up. Listen to it on a podcast (relevant radio, hallow, RUclips) change the meditation... a scriptural rosary... read your way through it instead of listening and praying with it... Be blessed. Be persistent..God never leaves us but we tend to let ourselves get distracted and pulled away. He is always still there waiting for us. His Momma wants to help us find him.
I have found my best friend to be my Guardian Angel. I was bullied from grade school through high school. So I found trusting people very hard. I feel God sent the Angels to comfort me.
This hit me. The past two days, I have been feeling so alone. I am literally the only one maintaining my friendships. I don't have people in my life who really know me.
Moved to Colorado from Virginia. I never had many friends I had epilepsy and it made me a a freak to my school mates. Went to a new school that was so friendly and I grew. I now have no friends. Seem everyone my age is connected for years. I have one friend and cherish her. Luckily my son's live here.
I'm not a believer but you're my go-to for life advice. You're just such an amicable person and an excellent communicator. Thank you for this channel, it's such a gift.
@@CarpDiemBaby I have stopped resisting the superstition that everything in life happens for a reason, even if it's much bigger than you and you'll never know what it is. But I've been back to church and there's nothing there for young people (especially women) who want to critically examine their assumptions and how they live, grow into themselves, and find their own path to serving the good.
Thank you, Fr. This month, I have lost almost everyone I knew because all of my friends were Protestants and I was drawn back to the Church and decided to park myself in Her (this time, I’m not budging!). Even the few members of my family resist my faith. I will remain faithful regardless of my losses. I’m fine, though, simply because I was slowly swarmed by ladies at my parish (and I would be a fool to deny Jesus again). Friends are important, and they will come and go, but those of substance will stick around even in dry seasons. I may be in a “drought,” but I know of a river... Blessings.
Can I recommend looking into Blessed is She - a community of women in the Church who walk with each other. There is a lot of online resources but they also have meet ups and retreats. God bless you sister x
This hit home. I realize that I don’t have any deep, personal friendships, and no close friends who are Catholic. I promise myself to start depending my relationships. I also hope that the Church does more to attract and keep young people in the church, because when I look around, I mostly see people aged 50 and above at Mass.
Peter Pelc , that’s true, unless you are lucky enough to live near a catholic university....It’s also hard for those of us who are in our mid 30s. I decided not to be so focused on age and trust God to bring me closer to people who can help grow in faith.
Not sure if you watch Repent and Submit at all (available on demand on the Catholic TV app - clips here on RUclips) but they addressed this very specifically in a recent episode. The best way to build a better community of young adults in a parish is to be a young adult active in parish life beyond showing up for Mass. We have dozens of outreach groups at our parish that plan weekly and monthly events. Our young adults organize activities at our community center for local young professionals groups. Not everyone who attends is catholic, but everyone is benefiting from the sense of community being cultivated - AND after attending a few events at the parish, many young adults have accepted invitations to celebrate Mass with us. The young adults who plan and execute these activities have become a wonderful group of friends even though they come from very diverse backgrounds. Also, don't write off the 50+ crowd. Many of them are just as hungry for friends as young adults. An added bonus is that since many of them are more "established" in their jobs, families etc, they have more time to invest in friends than other young people still slugging through the hustle. 💜
Peter Pelc I understand. It wasn’t until I went to college that I met people who shared the same world view as me and I couldn’t believe it! It was 100% a gift from God. I even go to a very secular school, but I found a catholic campus ministry that has become my family. It might be hard to see now, but I promise that somewhere there are people that live out the faith in ways you do as well. Take some time to ask St. Anthony to help you find amazing people. That’s what I did! You’ll be in my prayers!
Could people please capitalize the "G" when they are referring to The One Almighty God. Small "g"'s are used to refer to Pagan gods. This is said in charity and compassion. Thank you very much and God bless all of you.
When you grow older with medical issues it’s hard to keep friends. Seeing people once a year is not enough to keep a friendship going. It’s no one’s fault but we have older parents and we need to take care of them or at least be with them. When I’m with people I feel lonely. And yes all I hear is that everyone is too busy. I asked my sister to take me to the store and she said she was too busy. But we were already at the store:
@@mjchenevertful Hey folks, be kind. Most are typing from their phones. No need to slam someone who’s courageous enough to be vulnerable. Don’t need grammar police here, try love.
I never knew that having friendship was this important. I have gotten “burned” by so many people that I just look forward to each day even if it is without the company of friends. September 12, 2022
Thanks I went into a severe depression, which lasted months, but joining a church group helped me to climb out. But still so so difficult to know who I can trust.
I've been cheated on too and he was always mean but I forgave him because he always apologized...the relationship lasted years longer than it should have. However, I guess I never recovered fully when I met a very nice guy and I feel like I really messed up my last relationship because I just could not trust him. I never accused him of anything and I made sure I didnt make him feel like I did...at lease I hope I didnt. He was just kind to me and I guess I wasnt used to that. I joke that it was probably PTSD lol 🤦♀️🙄😅 The thing that bothers me the most even almost a year after it ended is I just could not recognize that he always told me the truth...he never lied to me about anything and that still hurts when I think about it. The relationship just didnt work. As far as friends, I could have more friends lol but I am blessed to be close to my sisters and cousins!
My dad always says Jesus hung around liars, thieves, & prostitutes but i always tell him they gave that way of life up to be around Him. They didnt continue down that path. I dont really have many if any friendships just because most of the people i know don't share the same fundamental beliefs of right and wrong.
That's 100% true actually. But in this desert of life, we have to try and pass around that mug of love. Sometimes there'll be ppl who reject that mug(our frenship) or those who don't treat us well😞 still we gotta give the best we got because He wants us to love one another as He loved us. Ik how it feels to be underappreciated and even ignored, but then, that just gives us another opportunity to make new and real connections after we've given our old ones our best. Choosing to bring the love of Christ will never be easy . It's definitely a lonely path. Especially when we Catholics crave connection thats hard to find because of how ppl just seem to exist on a different level. Nevertheless, He is always there for us when we get discouraged and give up on friendships. He who has known rejection, abandonment and acute loneliness feels our pain. He will comfort us while reminding us to never wallow in self pity but to pick up our crosses and continue reaching out. If He had chosen to give up on the apostles after the many times they disappointed Him or even on humanity after how much we've sinned against Him, we would never know His endless love. Keep heart and trust in God always❤
A true saying : "If you have no friends, you're, deep down inside, not interested in people." If, to you, a conversation with a friend is a trip to your therapist where you endlessly re-hash your awful life, how misunderstood you've always been, blah, blah, blah,...you're never going to have any friends.
I find that my ever shrinking number of friends is my alignment with those I truly resonate with. I'm seeing that I'm not feeling a whole lot of connection with as many people the more I grow and expand on my journey.....if that makes any sense. I like the solitude. Thank you Fr. Mike. 🙏
I miss my family . They have all passed on . I found out who my friends were when I was in the throes of grief . Not one human, they were too busy running away, like death was contagious .........Now I turn my face to Jesus for comfort .
Father Mike, do you also think that social media has kind of....distorted how people understand friendship? That maybe it has reduced it to likes and clicks, perhaps?
I agree Tracie, I just de-activated my facebook and my true friends are reaching out by ways they only know. It has brought me great peace and discernment.
Thank you. I have a tendency to be alone a little too much. My husband is my best friend, 10 years older than me. However, I am trying to call relatives more and make a more sincere effort, because I do love my time with these people. I needed this reminder. God Bless.
That's exactly how I've thought about "aduthood," Fr. Mike!!! I'm a freshman in college and before I started college this year I had a really hard time comprehending why it was tradition to leave home at 18 and undermine our amazing families to live with people we barely know! It can be a burden but if we keep Christ as our friend and allow Him to satisfy us, it's okay!!
When I feel troubled, and I can't even give a 'name' to the way I feel, I come here and I get answers to questions I didn't know how to ask. God bless you, Fr Mike.
Fr. Mike, I think it would be cool if you guys had a discussion show once a week. I’ve noticed for a while now there are more people on the channel doing videos, it would be cool if there was a panel type show once a week or twice a month, or even monthly where you guys could discuss a topic in the news (putting a catholic view on it), answer viewer questions, bring a topic to discuss, etc... great content as always, and this channel has helped me a lot in my faith!
I have recently been praying about why I have a lack of friends as a female and realized that I am naturally so introverted that it's hard for me to foster a deep friendship as it just seems foreign. I thought that God must have made me this way for a reason. It then dawned on me that I think I was made this way so I can find a true nurturing friendship in the Lord and through Mary. I'm introverted and have a knack for deeply involving myself in learning new things. Most new things I randomly learn make me feel unfulfilled. As an adult convert who was baptized only 3 years ago, I am still a baby Catholic! I am almost certain my path in life is to learn about and through the Lord and Mary. I figure that my next steps are to reform my prayer life and start practicing lectio divina in preparation to become a Benedictine Oblate. Solitude, prayer, reading, meditation, and silence feel right at home for me.
I relate to you so, so much! I am also deeply introverted, and making and developing friendships never really came easy to me. I do have a strong love for learning, so I’ve been trying to take this time to learn about and love the Lord.
Wow thank you for taking the time to post this..sometimes the devil tries to make me feel some type of way about it like I’m missing out on something. But at the end of the day this world does not provide what I need only God provides. God bless all of you and please know you are not alone!!!
Moving often with my husband’s job, I often found myself lonely after every move and it was hard to start all over again, make new friends and then leave that city and leave part of my heart with my new friends. It got easier when I realized that no matter where I go, God is always with me 🙏🙏🙏
I relate so much. Especially after I got serious about following Jesus. I've always been an introvert (who also loves learning) but I've always had a best friend and that was usually enough. But after I came to Jesus I lost her because she was not interested in repentance and still in love with the world. The rest of my friendships are surface value and although they are great people I can't truly relate to them 😔 usually its okay because I'm so busy learning about God and reading the bible, listening to preaching on RUclips and things like that, but once and awhile it really makes me sad 😔 but Jesus is my best friend now lol 😃
Without even listening all I need is Fr Mike and Jesus. Life is love, love is life, Fr Mike, keep the love of Christ going. You are the truth of Christ, you are the love of God. Ace guy. The best.
You do not have to settle for second-grade goods (referring to acquaintances alone and without friends, not family.) There is no limit on love that is freely given. Just start taking small social steps, it gets easier over time. Like all skills, it is perfected in practice.
Father Mike I love your videos And you are so special I have never met a priest like you You have something very special in how you make people relax You are not judgemental Never stop doing your videos I read them ever day You make me so relaxed God bless and protect you
Because I am in my 50s, I have a perspective different from those who are younger. We didn’t spend our time in front of screens growing up because we didn’t have cell phones and video games. I feel so sorry for the younger generation who don’t have friends. I would give up electricity before I would give up my family and friends. I still have a group text with 5 of my high school girlfriends and we text a couple of times a week. We also do a weekend trip together. What a blessing my friends are! But also I have two dear sisters and my Mom is my “person.” Living near my mom (15 minutes away) and sisters is a great blessing. All these people will be with me in heaven - I hope- one day. None of the other stuff will be there. People are the most important thing.
Haha 😂 I got a good laugh out of this thank you! I feel you though. I used to live in San Diego. I am pro life, pro guns, and I'm a stay at home mom to boot. San Diego was very lonely for me! 😂
Hi! I'm your female counterpart in NYC. I "work and play well with others," but that's it. Oh, and I'm a boomer who didn't boom, and I'm poor. Since March 15 I've been unemployed and living in my vehicle.
I think my dad and I have that virtuous relationship...we enjoy talking about faith matters at different levels...we know there are only a handful of others we can converse with regarding faith...
Simply Alexandra is right. One of the greatest gifts we have is free will. So our guardian angels, who have been assigned by God to be by our side, may disagree with our choices, but will always root for us when we do good. Remember, it’s not what we accomplish in this world, but our souls that live on forever. So if that person falling off a cliff made some turning away from sin prior to her death, than a victory was had.
There's nothing wrong with Jesus being your best friend but admit it, there's something wrong with the environment around you when you don't have human friends.
When you’re going through a crisis, you find out who really cares about you. They check in on you and ask if they can help. The fair weather friends can’t be bothered. They’re like one trick ponies. They have one trick, that’s all they can do.
*My friends always give me a hard time bc I want to be with my husband. I only make plans when he's working, bc I dont like to miss out on time with him when he's home. Most of them are single & I would much rather be like I am than how they are. Family comes first!*
Can I ask u did u have a positive loving upbringing somehow I am beginning to think when a person is loved as a child they have positive healthy relationships I've been abused since I was three years old and I have been traumatised my hole life experiencing only abusive relationships can't stand it any longer
You know what if your married avoid single friends infact runaway from them 😅because you need people who are married to understand some things you go through but the single ones don’t see it so get more Married friends .
Thank you for making this video Father Mike. I am struggling but continuing to pray. I am a 26 year old republican stay at home mom. I served in the Marine Corps for 4 years prior to me staying at home. Imagine how many millennials I have things in common with.. 😒 goose egg!.
I praise you Lord for all the folks whom you're gonna give lasting virtuous friendships. Please Jesus bless all people who are hurt and lacking friends 😊
On January 1,2020, I was ‘told’ by many of the uplifting pages I follow that instead of setting a resolution, choose a word for the year that connects you to your wish for change. My word was “TIME”. The reason? For everything you just mentioned in this video. I think this was our Lords way of reminding me of the word I chose and to take stock in how far (or not) I’ve come in achieving my wish. Thank you Fr. Mike!
Like he said Pray. friendships are so important.i understand that something could have happened in your life,but I suggest you just pray and ask God for a good man or woman to come into your life.whatever relationship it is the key is you have to suffer.even our relationship with our lord.just Pray.
That satisfaction is a temporary defense, do not make your camp there. It will either abandon you, or consume you when the pain becomes resentmemt, anger and possibly even hate. I have been there, it is a terrible life.
There is nothing wrong not wanting friends...If you are satisfied with your solitude, and are at peace with yourself, then you already found something that many people wish they have in their own lives.
There are others worthy of your trust. It's possible. I've been REALLY burned by family and I forgave them (even though they didn't reach out). It's absolutely necessary to move forward. God bless you, friend 😊
So all u know I am your friend and we need friends to talk laugh and cry to. Jesus said see me in all the people, that is how we love our neighbor as we love ourselves because jesus is in us all. GOD bless you all and I will always pray for true friendships.
Thank you, Fr. Mike. Really excellent video. Lesson here is not to live life in a hurry & to have friendships that are meaningful, and not just a distraction. God bless.
I've had small groups at church that I would coin "pleasant" friendships, and my work life has friendships that end as soon as my work is done. Virtuous friendships make me nervous and flustered.
I have found that the Busier I am, the less Lonely I feel. I don't want too much time to think..that leads to rumination, anxiety and depression. For me it works----to be Busy (mentally & physically) doing Quality things with decent people. It doesn't have to be really close, intimate things.....Just Don't isolate.
I moved to the US around a year and a half ago, before that I was attending college back in my home country and I had the bless to live at a students house administrated by a catholic organization. I met incredible people and I made good virtuous friendships. Despite the physical distance we are close on prayer, we still in communication (thanks technology!) and their advice are key for me. However I’d like to meet more people my age soon to make virtuous friendships. Praying for that!
I like the idea of virtuous friendships. When explained this makes so much sense !! Do you need virtuous friendships outside of growing closer to God ?
Making and keeping friends is very difficult for autistic people, like me and my sister. Without a common context or a potential friend who is a very good listener or who understands how autistic people communicate differently and interpret others' communications, body language, figurative speech differently it can be near impossible to maintain friendship. I am blessed to have some very good friends who understand my challenges.
I have all sorts of acquaintances but nary a person who I could relate with. Most guys have "hobby" friends but Im not into motorcycles, cars, hunting, fishing, sports. Im 66 years old and I have yet to find a buddy who I resonate with in a more fulfilling way. Though there have been times where I find a possibility but my invitations to hang out have been spurned. I did come to find out that only 10% of us guys have such meaningful relationship so Im not alone being alone (pardon the pun.) The quest continues......
@Debbie F. pointing out a trait is not a diagnosis . Further BPD is nothing to be ashamed of . Finding help begins with being mindful of our opportunities. . *god loves you
Concerned Citizen I'm a therapist, don't listen to Chance Whistler, the description you gave of yourself does not fit the diagnoses of borderline personality disorder. I find that inherent in how most societies function now (many things done on line instead of in person) many people find themselves without alot of friends & sometimes no friends by the time they are adults. It just takes more time & attempts to meet people now than it used to 10 or 20 years ago. The best way to make friends is to know yourself well, e.g. what is important to you in your life? (Like you said, most guys have hobbies.) What do you like to do? (Reading, going for walks, gardening, going for coffee etc). Connect with places where those things take place & strike up a conversation with people. In the conversation do 2 things: listen to what the other person has to say so you can see what kind of person they are, & also share yourself with them so they can see what kind of person you are. Do you like being around Christians? Take a class at a Christian university (there are many mature students at universities), ask your priest if there is a place you could volunteer where other volunteers might be in your age range. The thing is to just keep trying to meet people. It was so much easier 10 years ago, I wish we could go back to those times, but we can't. So just keep at it.
@@caryulmer5578 seeing a psychiatrist is far more accurate in a diagnosis than a therapist. I got my diagnosis after stating the same words this man posted. Please also note i did not diagnose the condition but rather stated he had a trait. To have bpd you need more than one. As a health care provider you should know that. Please read carefully what i stated first, it was not a provocation but an opinion from inside the diagnosis.
@@chanceDdog2009 ADD, BPD, Aspergers, etc... all hogwash, how many Saints would have been diagnosed with ''mental illness''? Having said that, and on a personal note, I have many interests myself, including cars, engines, gardening, sports, weightlifting, but not many people like to hang out with me. I meet somebody once or twice and never hear from them again, or they are suddenly unavailable forever. I'm probably not very good with people, I'm a quiet and honest guy, but I think these ''traits'' as you put it, do not equal conditions, but are nuances of the Big Five (perhaps the nearest to a quasi-scientific approach to personality) . I'm trained as an M.D and I think psychiatry as a profession should cease to exist, and we could transfer schizophrenic, autistic, patients to Neurologists. On an ending note, God hasn't made man for society, but we are mainly made for Himself, instead of therapy, men should work on his vices and sins and develop virtue.
Shelly Clark, sometimes families are broken and it’s best to back off so you don’t get drawn in to all the drama and end up needing constant confession.
@@2021-j2d Believe me I know all about broken families & drama. I agree about the possibility of needing confession multiple times, so Im very greatful for that sacrament! Im learning that running away doesn't help solve anything. Mercy & forgiveness helps if we swallow our pride! Of course physical & verbal abuse shouldn't be tolerated.
@@Arisewithanya It's even harder when they're family, because unlike friends, you can't decide to leave them if they become too toxic. You cry because it's like knowing they have cancer and pray with all your heart for them because you don't know what else to do after exhausting all efforts to convince them God is real and that He loves them.
If you have family that are atheists it have fallen away from the faith and want to convert them, do some research on the Green Scapular and it's miraculous conversions, then buy a few and them blessed.
Loneliness is sad and unfortunate. Unfortunately, I know several adults who live alone and are lonely, but don't make an effort to make more than 1 friend or only associate with relatives.
I come from a family of 6 siblings 3 males and 3 females (in pairs ☺️) out of the 6 the youngest of the boys and the youngest of the girls (myself) tend to stay closest to our parents and look for a home as close to them as possible. My adulthood is not measured by the distance between me and my family. My husband is an amazing man who doesn’t mind how close I am to my family, and he himself looks after my parents as if his own.
I experienced the same thing. Made the crisis in my life seem unbearable without my friends. But then I realized two things. First of all, my friends have problems too. Second of all, when I am in crisis mode I go running to Jesus. No one on earth can help me like Jesus does.
I was very popular in HIgh School and my dad said show me your right hand. When you get older you won't have as many friends as your 5 fingers. He was right!
@@sunbrah How can you say there is no hope when God IS hope? Do not wait for the world to change, Do not hope in man for anything, but hope in God and pray that he changes us. The world is terrible; it lives without God. That's why all of these evil things are happening.
@@sunbrah when we truly take time to look at how the world really is, we see how dark sinful and godless it is. And thinking about it is sad and depressing; but if this affects us, imagine what God feels; his children are living as if they don't need or want him. The world has no love for God. Hope in God and console him with your love for him. The loss of souls plunges him.
There's always hope - in the world to come, if not this current one. Can't come quick enough, in my book. (Well, you know what I mean - not trying to tell God how to do His job, but I am looking forward with hope.)
Just wanted to comment about the point about living together with parents and family. I am from India, and in India and indeed the rest of Asia, its completely normal for us to live with or close to our parents even after marriage. I don't know why it isn't so in the West...
I'm from the Philippines and I live with my parents. I think Asia is more community/family centric whereas the West is more individual centric where they value doing everything by yourself without relying on anyone, family, friends, Church, community, etc.
I wanted to say the same thing Arnold (Goan?). I believe the current prevailing culture in the west has been created by bright minds (read dark minds, as has been given in d bible, somewhere : worldly minds r clever in the ways of the world) to encourage consumerism, materialism (santa claus remember? to distract u frm Jesus? Christmas is alll abt buying gifts in d west but thats another topic), breed selfishness, create strong money flow in d market as money lying in ur account is not of much use to them, help bankers as ur perenially in a state of debt and make it more difficult to spend more time wt ur family as u're too busy wrking 2 jobs to pay off one loan or another. Expl: When a semi mature 18 yr old CHILD leaves home, he doesnt have healthy savings in his account. Already he will begin his new life in debt. Or hand to mouth existence. Come pay, go pay as the major junk of it will get spent on rent and cooking ur own food or ordering take out which is even more expensive as most youngsters these days cant cook. Theres no time to make deeper healthier friendships as you're too busy just trying to survive, not live well. like a hamster on a wheel. When you live wt family, you have a strong, secure foundation to build your future on. U' re financially more secure. Ur parents r always there to guide u by ur side wn u falter. U contribute 4 d daily expenses but ultimtely save on housing, furnishing, transport, major electronic gadgets like laundry machines, kitchen morgue( fridge), electricity bills, gas etc etc. Ur kids r safe n well looked after wt d most essential ingredient no babysitter can give: love, of their grandparents. U save on babysitting expenses. Wn ur sick theres always someone to care 4 u n ur little family. U get nutritious home cooked wholesome meals if u're not able to drum up something on ur own as u're too busy wt wrk. U're healthy. Ur kids r healthy. U r never lonely. Ur elderly parents r not lonely. They meet ur needs. U meet theirs.U save on old age care home expenses. Ur kids learn n benefit frm their wisdom. Ur parents can teach ur kids soo much. Hence a better future 4 them. U have each other. Hence less trips to d psychiatrist/psychologist. Saving there. All this leads to a healthy bank account. Good for mental health. U can use that to pay 4 ur kids' college, effortlessly. U dont feel lonely. U are loved. U love them in return. U have more time to socialise n make friends. A win all the way. Man is a social animal. We were never meant to go it alone. This is what I find unappealing abt western society. I've seen 1st hand on a month long visit to Canada relatives living in rich homes but lonely n depressed and always concerned abt money tho they had well paying white collar jobs in d oil industry. I dont mind sharing this but its why I dont accept proposals frm even d most well educated, well paid boys in d Uk, US or Canada. I dont wish to relocate to any land where d laws nd culture of that land work against the family unit. Greater chance of your children, your treasures, going astray. No offense. Just stating my thoughts. Also, can anyone explain to me why babies are placed in a crib in another room in d west? Perhaps thats why children grow up wt complexes n various other problems.Babies need to bond n feel safe. They need emotional connection. There must be some psychological benefits to that. Its what has always been done for ages.
Yes different kinds of friendships, and also different stages of our life. We probably drift in and out of all. During my work years I was always busy to occupy my time but as a retiree, I feel a tad lonely.
They are just as vulnerable and nervous, we all are. Trust in using what God has given you. Share the unique gift of yourself to others. There may be rejection, there may be pain, there will be hardships, but it is all part of the journey and the ride of life. You will have those things regardless, why not endure with others?
@@LostArchivist I'm just absolutely terrified to start conversation. I just wait for others to say something first. So I can know if anyone is interested.
Hey I'm a lot like you but more so when I was younger in school. I was terrified of people and wanted to hide, I still am like that today. But more because I'm an introvert and big groups tire me after a year or so and I need to recoup. Anyway, pls pm me, we can talk about anything. Don't be afraid, we're both online and anonymous!
Listening to that last part really struck me. I thought I had a lasting friendship with somebody, but it was really just a useful friendship. We were on the same political side, then things changed. Then I changed. And we never got to meet in person. That’s why that friendship never really took off. Thank you so much Father, these videos are really helpful.
@@wolfsden6479 Yes I understand now. My biological family where true evil, all of them had Narcissistis Personality Disorder and most of them where Satanists.
You are amazing!! I've been saying this for a while. People think I'm crazy but you can't have friends if you don't make time or even a marriage. Don't be delusional. Talking physical time not texting just a phone true friends make the time for coffee a hike etc.
3:06 Three Kinds of Friendships 1) Pleasant 2) Useful (Coworkers, Peers) Flimsy and Fleeting (Good Times And circumstance 6:40 3) Virtuous Friendship (Racing after Christ. Pursuit of Virtue. The Good) 8:20 Number 1 Ingredient for friendship: *Time*
+J.M.J.+ Jesus, I Trust in you! Fr. Mike, this was an amazing talk! I really enjoy your short talks they are Christ centered and help a person grow in holiness and makes one think! Keep up the awesome job! God Bless, Rose
When I was younger, I rarely felt lonely no matter how isolated I was but as I've gotten older, I have found I desire close friendships more and more.
For me it's the opposite, i desired to have a lot of friends when i was younger,now i m in my 30's.i feel better alone.most ppl trying to take advantage of me,when i dnt let them,they walk out of my life.making friends is just not my priority right now.
I feel the same way. I just think I care about other people more now that I’ve come to God. I would love to connect with people that I missed the opportunity to connect with throughout life out of apathy.
I'm exactly opposite. The older I get, the less company I want.
I have been laughed at and left out my whole life by people who I thought were my friends but Jesus has helped me through it all.
@Blackwolf302 Jesus has never helped me
@@tonycamillo1846 Believe in Him with your heart.
@charlest; that is one way of looking at it.
I have no time for funerals or weddings. Am I a bad friend?
This made me so sad. We don't need a bunch of friends. Just 1 and Jesus is the best. Bless you Charles. This world can be so selfish and mean.
I was married for 31 years to a man who would not be my friend. It was the most lonely experience of my life . I waited and waited and waited, then I found distractions, my children and my work and then my children grew up and I found myself running out of runway. I realized that I lived a role as a a character in in the lives of other people I leaned hard on my faith and I left that marriage. He remarried immediately and I was affirmed that I was not special. He never intended to be my friend. I filled a role in his life and I was not loved. I am so grateful that I realized it before I ran completely out of life. Now I look at everybody through the prism of friendship. I don't have enough time left to squander on meaningless enterprises. I don't wait any more.
I love your words and your experiences, they are so profoundly deep, meaningful and special. You are awake. x
I'm sorry for your experience.
Thank you...but I am grateful for the hardship...it has given me wisdom and autonomy and I am now married to a true treasure trove of a man. The church annulled the first marriage. I am free. Thanks be to God.
@@CrazyBlueBeast marriages can be strengthened over the years or can become a vacant bond, and both depend on active participation of both spouses, which i think didnt work out for Lynne. 30 years is a very long which shows that she tried.
Lynne, i wish i was brave like you
@@CrazyBlueBeast Some people have more grit than that...
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out...
brian kelly so true! And rare!!
@brian kelly -- Love that definition.
I didnt even know Jon Hamm was a priest
Very true.
Exactly .............
I have bad social anxiety, but also have a longing for friendship. I don’t like being around people and I like being at home, but I also feel so lonely and miss having a connection with people. My cousins have gotten married recently and they all had lots of bridesmaids and they all seemed so close and happy. I don’t even have 1 friend to attend my birthday let alone a wedding. 🥺
Understand you on that one. I've made "working on yourself" a lifestyle and made connection a secondary thing.
It's very true, at the end of the day, we need others of similar virtues that'll open us and strengthen us.
I didnt have bridesmaids at my wedding either and was lucky enough to have my parents because I live in another country. To me its not quantity, but quality.
I sympathize with you. I also have bad social anxiety. But you’re not alone. A lot of people struggle with that I feel and I pray that God takes all your anxieties away. ❤
Same
My heart goes out to you dear one. You are so loved and needed. I am going to pray for you to meet at least one person who has been searching for someone exactly like you (social anxiety and all) to form a deep and meaningful relationship with. God bless.
I don’t have any friends nearby, but I went to a catholic mass for the first time the other day. And I shook hands with those nearby when we wished each other peace. Then I spoke with Fr. Marten for about an hour after and he gave me a few books on catholic doctrines and a rosary. It meant so much to someone who doesn’t get out much. I hope I can join you guys come Easter. In the meantime I’ll practice praying the rosary like Fr. Marten said.
Remember we do have a Best friend Guardian Angel assigned to us before we were born who Loves, protects and intercede for us every second of every hour 🕊💕😊
God bless you 🙏🏻🕊️🕊️
If your rosary becomes a struggle try changing it up. Listen to it on a podcast (relevant radio, hallow, RUclips) change the meditation... a scriptural rosary... read your way through it instead of listening and praying with it... Be blessed. Be persistent..God never leaves us but we tend to let ourselves get distracted and pulled away. He is always still there waiting for us. His Momma wants to help us find him.
I have found my best friend to be my Guardian Angel. I was bullied from grade school through high school. So I found trusting people very hard. I feel God sent the Angels to comfort me.
Awe……🥰😔🥰
My Guardian Angel is my best friend too.
It's not good being alone
I’m a Muslim but when I need enlightenment or advice I come here for it. 👊🏼
I pray that you find Jesus :)
I hope you discern into the Catholic Church
SureWhyNot ? Don’t worry 😉. I found Jesus in the Quran and he taught me to respect all believers. 🤝
nenabunena It’s okay dude. I’m right where I need to be. We may read different books but we all have the same moral compass.
@@Dragon-pm3kh Welcome! You have free-will; you can believe in whatever you want!
This IS a crisis. I'm very, very happy Fr. Mike is addressing this.
He could charm the pants off of a choirboy!
This hit me. The past two days, I have been feeling so alone. I am literally the only one maintaining my friendships. I don't have people in my life who really know me.
Me too.
@@Nikka230 Me three. We need to start a union. 😅
me four
Moved to Colorado from Virginia. I never had many friends I had epilepsy and it made me a a freak to my school mates. Went to a new school that was so friendly and I grew. I now have no friends. Seem everyone my age is connected for years. I have one friend and cherish her. Luckily my son's live here.
same
I'm not a believer but you're my go-to for life advice. You're just such an amicable person and an excellent communicator. Thank you for this channel, it's such a gift.
God bless you!!!
the catholic faith appears to be drawing you in. I wonder why
God is still working on you regardless of what you believe, and he loves you
@@CarpDiemBaby I have stopped resisting the superstition that everything in life happens for a reason, even if it's much bigger than you and you'll never know what it is. But I've been back to church and there's nothing there for young people (especially women) who want to critically examine their assumptions and how they live, grow into themselves, and find their own path to serving the good.
@@zoe.h.nelson04 If you don’t find it there… then create it. You are needed there.
Thank you, Fr. This month, I have lost almost everyone I knew because all of my friends were Protestants and I was drawn back to the Church and decided to park myself in Her (this time, I’m not budging!). Even the few members of my family resist my faith. I will remain faithful regardless of my losses. I’m fine, though, simply because I was slowly swarmed by ladies at my parish (and I would be a fool to deny Jesus again). Friends are important, and they will come and go, but those of substance will stick around even in dry seasons. I may be in a “drought,” but I know of a river...
Blessings.
Can I recommend looking into Blessed is She - a community of women in the Church who walk with each other. There is a lot of online resources but they also have meet ups and retreats. God bless you sister x
A true friend is one who stays with you in your shame.
This hit home. I realize that I don’t have any deep, personal friendships, and no close friends who are Catholic. I promise myself to start depending my relationships. I also hope that the Church does more to attract and keep young people in the church, because when I look around, I mostly see people aged 50 and above at Mass.
Are there any youth groups in your parish? Some cities have Catholic meetups.
Tieuwle Bassene they have a youth group but it’s only high school students. The number of young adults ages 22-32 I can count on one hand :/
Peter Pelc , that’s true, unless you are lucky enough to live near a catholic university....It’s also hard for those of us who are in our mid 30s. I decided not to be so focused on age and trust God to bring me closer to people who can help grow in faith.
Not sure if you watch Repent and Submit at all (available on demand on the Catholic TV app - clips here on RUclips) but they addressed this very specifically in a recent episode. The best way to build a better community of young adults in a parish is to be a young adult active in parish life beyond showing up for Mass. We have dozens of outreach groups at our parish that plan weekly and monthly events. Our young adults organize activities at our community center for local young professionals groups. Not everyone who attends is catholic, but everyone is benefiting from the sense of community being cultivated - AND after attending a few events at the parish, many young adults have accepted invitations to celebrate Mass with us. The young adults who plan and execute these activities have become a wonderful group of friends even though they come from very diverse backgrounds. Also, don't write off the 50+ crowd. Many of them are just as hungry for friends as young adults. An added bonus is that since many of them are more "established" in their jobs, families etc, they have more time to invest in friends than other young people still slugging through the hustle. 💜
Peter Pelc I understand. It wasn’t until I went to college that I met people who shared the same world view as me and I couldn’t believe it! It was 100% a gift from God. I even go to a very secular school, but I found a catholic campus ministry that has become my family. It might be hard to see now, but I promise that somewhere there are people that live out the faith in ways you do as well. Take some time to ask St. Anthony to help you find amazing people. That’s what I did! You’ll be in my prayers!
I was literally just self studying this last night just off the cuff, god is funny in his connection. Thank you Father Mike.
Could people please capitalize the "G" when they are referring to The One Almighty God. Small "g"'s are used to refer to Pagan gods. This is said in charity and compassion. Thank you very much and God bless all of you.
@@mjchenevertful protestants make this error A LOT!
When you grow older with medical issues it’s hard to keep friends.
Seeing people once a year is not enough to keep a friendship going.
It’s no one’s fault but we have older parents and we need to take care of them or at least be with them.
When I’m with people I feel lonely.
And yes all I hear is that everyone is too busy. I asked my sister to take me to the store and she said she was too busy. But we were already at the store:
What were you thinking about it?
@@mjchenevertful Hey folks, be kind. Most are typing from their phones.
No need to slam someone who’s courageous enough to be vulnerable. Don’t need grammar police here, try love.
I never knew that having friendship was this important. I have gotten “burned” by so many people that I just look forward to each day even if it is without the company of friends.
September 12, 2022
Another example may be that there have been betrayals in your life that make you feel hesitant to trust others.
Paulette McWaters I was cheated on. A year of therapy and still dealing with triggers. I want to work on myself. I have puppies.
@@melissafaulkner1083 keep working, you can make it happen...God bless
Thanks I went into a severe depression, which lasted months, but joining a church group helped me to climb out. But still so so difficult to know who I can trust.
I've been cheated on too and he was always mean but I forgave him because he always apologized...the relationship lasted years longer than it should have. However, I guess I never recovered fully when I met a very nice guy and I feel like I really messed up my last relationship because I just could not trust him. I never accused him of anything and I made sure I didnt make him feel like I did...at lease I hope I didnt. He was just kind to me and I guess I wasnt used to that. I joke that it was probably PTSD lol 🤦♀️🙄😅 The thing that bothers me the most even almost a year after it ended is I just could not recognize that he always told me the truth...he never lied to me about anything and that still hurts when I think about it. The relationship just didnt work.
As far as friends, I could have more friends lol but I am blessed to be close to my sisters and cousins!
everybody on earth wont betray you
I was cheated on. I rely on my puppies and attending mass. Working on myself first 🙏🏼
and dont forget....you want someone who wants you and only you!
so? youre gonna blame the world for 2 people doing the dirty dance?
My dad always says Jesus hung around liars, thieves, & prostitutes but i always tell him they gave that way of life up to be around Him. They didnt continue down that path.
I dont really have many if any friendships just because most of the people i know don't share the same fundamental beliefs of right and wrong.
That's 100% true actually. But in this desert of life, we have to try and pass around that mug of love. Sometimes there'll be ppl who reject that mug(our frenship) or those who don't treat us well😞 still we gotta give the best we got because He wants us to love one another as He loved us. Ik how it feels to be underappreciated and even ignored, but then, that just gives us another opportunity to make new and real connections after we've given our old ones our best. Choosing to bring the love of Christ will never be easy . It's definitely a lonely path. Especially when we Catholics crave connection thats hard to find because of how ppl just seem to exist on a different level. Nevertheless, He is always there for us when we get discouraged and give up on friendships. He who has known rejection, abandonment and acute loneliness feels our pain. He will comfort us while reminding us to never wallow in self pity but to pick up our crosses and continue reaching out. If He had chosen to give up on the apostles after the many times they disappointed Him or even on humanity after how much we've sinned against Him, we would never know His endless love. Keep heart and trust in God always❤
You have the best friend in the whole universe, you have Jesus you need no other, God bless you ,
Thank you, Father Mike! This topic is heavy on my heart. Lack of connection is a big crisis in our culture, and I’m striving to change that.
If you don’t have any time. Then you don’t have friendships. Dang Father Mike is also a philosopher.
A true saying : "If you have no friends, you're, deep down inside, not interested in people." If, to you, a conversation with a friend is a trip to your therapist where you endlessly re-hash your awful life, how misunderstood you've always been, blah, blah, blah,...you're never going to have any friends.
I find that my ever shrinking number of friends is my alignment with those I truly resonate with. I'm seeing that I'm not feeling a whole lot of connection with as many people the more I grow and expand on my journey.....if that makes any sense. I like the solitude. Thank you Fr. Mike. 🙏
I miss my family . They have all passed on . I found out who my friends were when I was in the throes of grief . Not one human, they were too busy running away, like death was contagious .........Now I turn my face to Jesus for comfort .
You are loved.
May God bless you abundantly with the knowledge that some people love you very much. Sending love your way!
Father Mike Schmitz is like a spiritual dad to me 😂❤️🙌🏼🙌🏼
Father Mike, do you also think that social media has kind of....distorted how people understand friendship? That maybe it has reduced it to likes and clicks, perhaps?
I agree Tracie, I just de-activated my facebook and my true friends are reaching out by ways they only know. It has brought me great peace and discernment.
Tracie this was a very dramatic comment.
I wish there were more things in this world to encourage people to meet like minded people just like yourself
Thank you. I have a tendency to be alone a little too much. My husband is my best friend, 10 years older than me. However, I am trying to call relatives more and make a more sincere effort, because I do love my time with these people. I needed this reminder. God Bless.
Thank you Father! You're a GREAT priest and the work you do for the Lord is invaluable!
I don't have any friends and mostly that saddens me but when I did have friends I mostly morn their ignorance.
That's exactly how I've thought about "aduthood," Fr. Mike!!! I'm a freshman in college and before I started college this year I had a really hard time comprehending why it was tradition to leave home at 18 and undermine our amazing families to live with people we barely know! It can be a burden but if we keep Christ as our friend and allow Him to satisfy us, it's okay!!
Jesus is my best friend. He'll always be by my side
Jesus is a friend of mine
Jesus is my father my life
..this is a good one...real friendships do take a long time to develop..but there tends to be a common thread amongst friends.. new and old. ..
It's is the same with me.
How do you know Jesus is there? How do you know you just aren't fooling yourself?
When I feel troubled, and I can't even give a 'name' to the way I feel, I come here and I get answers to questions I didn't know how to ask.
God bless you, Fr Mike.
Fr. Mike, I think it would be cool if you guys had a discussion show once a week. I’ve noticed for a while now there are more people on the channel doing videos, it would be cool if there was a panel type show once a week or twice a month, or even monthly where you guys could discuss a topic in the news (putting a catholic view on it), answer viewer questions, bring a topic to discuss, etc... great content as always, and this channel has helped me a lot in my faith!
Great idea ryan!
Liverpool 😍
I have recently been praying about why I have a lack of friends as a female and realized that I am naturally so introverted that it's hard for me to foster a deep friendship as it just seems foreign. I thought that God must have made me this way for a reason. It then dawned on me that I think I was made this way so I can find a true nurturing friendship in the Lord and through Mary. I'm introverted and have a knack for deeply involving myself in learning new things. Most new things I randomly learn make me feel unfulfilled. As an adult convert who was baptized only 3 years ago, I am still a baby Catholic! I am almost certain my path in life is to learn about and through the Lord and Mary. I figure that my next steps are to reform my prayer life and start practicing lectio divina in preparation to become a Benedictine Oblate. Solitude, prayer, reading, meditation, and silence feel right at home for me.
I relate to you so, so much! I am also deeply introverted, and making and developing friendships never really came easy to me. I do have a strong love for learning, so I’ve been trying to take this time to learn about and love the Lord.
Wow thank you for taking the time to post this..sometimes the devil tries to make me feel some type of way about it like I’m missing out on something. But at the end of the day this world does not provide what I need only God provides. God bless all of you and please know you are not alone!!!
Moving often with my husband’s job, I often found myself lonely after every move and it was hard to start all over again, make new friends and then leave that city and leave part of my heart with my new friends. It got easier when I realized that no matter where I go, God is always with me 🙏🙏🙏
I relate so much. Especially after I got serious about following Jesus. I've always been an introvert (who also loves learning) but I've always had a best friend and that was usually enough. But after I came to Jesus I lost her because she was not interested in repentance and still in love with the world. The rest of my friendships are surface value and although they are great people I can't truly relate to them 😔 usually its okay because I'm so busy learning about God and reading the bible, listening to preaching on RUclips and things like that, but once and awhile it really makes me sad 😔 but Jesus is my best friend now lol 😃
Have you guys ever thought about joining catholic or parish activities and make friends with other like minded people?
What is very brutal is that often people are judged on the quantity of friends they have. One should never judge people.
Without even listening all I need is Fr Mike and Jesus. Life is love, love is life,
Fr Mike, keep the love of Christ going. You are the truth of Christ, you are the love of God. Ace guy. The best.
I love this. Thank you Father.
Each word is a blessing. Thank you for allowing God to speak through you.
As a introverted male, family and aquaintence is enough for me.
You do not have to settle for second-grade goods (referring to acquaintances alone and without friends, not family.) There is no limit on love that is freely given. Just start taking small social steps, it gets easier over time. Like all skills, it is perfected in practice.
As an introverted female, Jesus and a few acquaintances are enough for me.
I can attest
being alone is fine.
Father Mike
I love your videos
And you are so special
I have never met a priest like you
You have something very special in how you make people relax
You are not judgemental
Never stop doing your videos
I read them ever day
You make me so relaxed
God bless and protect you
Because I am in my 50s, I have a perspective different from those who are younger. We didn’t spend our time in front of screens growing up because we didn’t have cell phones and video games. I feel so sorry for the younger generation who don’t have friends. I would give up electricity before I would give up my family and friends. I still have a group text with 5 of my high school girlfriends and we text a couple of times a week. We also do a weekend trip together. What a blessing my friends are!
But also I have two dear sisters and my Mom is my “person.” Living near my mom (15 minutes away) and sisters is a great blessing.
All these people will be with me in heaven - I hope- one day. None of the other stuff will be there. People are the most important thing.
Very true. We have to make quality time for family, friends and prayer. So important!
I'm white, Catholic and Republican and live California, so imagine how many friends I have? Zero!
Haha 😂 I got a good laugh out of this thank you! I feel you though. I used to live in San Diego. I am pro life, pro guns, and I'm a stay at home mom to boot. San Diego was very lonely for me! 😂
😂😂😂
can I be your friend? c:
Awesome
Hi! I'm your female counterpart in NYC. I "work and play well with others," but that's it. Oh, and I'm a boomer who didn't boom, and I'm poor. Since March 15 I've been unemployed and living in my vehicle.
I think my dad and I have that virtuous relationship...we enjoy talking about faith matters at different levels...we know there are only a handful of others we can converse with regarding faith...
Your guardian angel will always be your most loyal and caring friend. Don't forget to acknowledge their presence everyday 😇
How do you know you have a guardian angel? Does everyone have one?
@@tomandrews1429 every single human being has one. God assigned one to you even before you were born
@@simplyCutiePieAlex So when a child dies from falling off a cliff or something, was that guardian angel being a loyal and caring friend?
No, Alexandra, they may be extremely beneficial in your life, Jesus is really your best friend, although He is much more, also.
Simply Alexandra is right. One of the greatest gifts we have is free will. So our guardian angels, who have been assigned by God to be by our side, may disagree with our choices, but will always root for us when we do good. Remember, it’s not what we accomplish in this world, but our souls that live on forever. So if that person falling off a cliff made some turning away from sin prior to her death, than a victory was had.
Thank you God for giving me wisdoms through Fr. Mike! Now I know what to look for when making friends. The heartbreak is over! Thank you Jesus Christ!
There's nothing wrong with Jesus being your best friend but admit it, there's something wrong with the environment around you when you don't have human friends.
Nothing wrong with me, I function well in fact friends are as good as being there and here
I'm going thru this right now after lifetime of only knowing abusers
Usually imaginary friends are a kids thing
@@mynameskobe6838 imaginary is the concept that we came from nothing but air....I'll see your imaginary claims and raise you your baseless theology
Well obviously there is something wrong with us if no one even bothers to speak to us
My husband and I were recently talking about this. Thank you for your comments.
When you are going through a crisis, you find out who your REAL friends and family are.
Fairweather friends are not true friends? Really?
When you’re going through a crisis, you find out who really cares about you. They check in on you and ask if they can help. The fair weather friends can’t be bothered. They’re like one trick ponies. They have one trick, that’s all they can do.
Amen!
This is so true! My dad had a head injury so I went to take care of him for 6 months. I only heard from one friend the entire time.
God Bless Fr Mike. I love and pray 🙏 for him everyday. Thank you Fr Mike for these videos.
*My friends always give me a hard time bc I want to be with my husband. I only make plans when he's working, bc I dont like to miss out on time with him when he's home. Most of them are single & I would much rather be like I am than how they are. Family comes first!*
Good for you.
Can I ask u did u have a positive loving upbringing somehow I am beginning to think when a person is loved as a child they have positive healthy relationships I've been abused since I was three years old and I have been traumatised my hole life experiencing only abusive relationships can't stand it any longer
Find meet up groups for Christian couples or start one
You know what if your married avoid single friends infact runaway from them 😅because you need people who are married to understand some things you go through but the single ones don’t see it so get more Married friends .
This guy is sprinting towards heaven. God bless the future-cannonized fr. Mike Schmitz!
Thank you for making this video Father Mike. I am struggling but continuing to pray. I am a 26 year old republican stay at home mom. I served in the Marine Corps for 4 years prior to me staying at home. Imagine how many millennials I have things in common with.. 😒 goose egg!.
Thank you Fr.Mike ,now i know were to find friends:Bible study,and other Catholic activities.
I praise you Lord for all the folks whom you're gonna give lasting virtuous friendships. Please Jesus bless all people who are hurt and lacking friends 😊
Samuel
Please God bless you Samuel.
On January 1,2020, I was ‘told’ by many of the uplifting pages I follow that instead of setting a resolution, choose a word for the year that connects you to your wish for change. My word was “TIME”. The reason? For everything you just mentioned in this video. I think this was our Lords way of reminding me of the word I chose and to take stock in how far (or not) I’ve come in achieving my wish. Thank you Fr. Mike!
Father Mike, what if I dont want friends?
What if ive been burned by everyone I considered to be a friend and so ive become satisfied in my solitude?
Like he said Pray. friendships are so important.i understand that something could have happened in your life,but I suggest you just pray and ask God for a good man or woman to come into your life.whatever relationship it is the key is you have to suffer.even our relationship with our lord.just Pray.
That satisfaction is a temporary defense, do not make your camp there. It will either abandon you, or consume you when the pain becomes resentmemt, anger and possibly even hate. I have been there, it is a terrible life.
There is nothing wrong not wanting friends...If you are satisfied with your solitude, and are at peace with yourself, then you already found something that many people wish they have in their own lives.
Let God heal your wounds and teach you to love again. You will rise stronger than before. Trust Him.
There are others worthy of your trust. It's possible. I've been REALLY burned by family and I forgave them (even though they didn't reach out). It's absolutely necessary to move forward. God bless you, friend 😊
Yes, you made a lot of sense Fr Mike!
Thanks for speaking truth to us
God bless you
So all u know I am your friend and we need friends to talk laugh and cry to. Jesus said see me in all the people, that is how we love our neighbor as we love ourselves because jesus is in us all. GOD bless you all and I will always pray for true friendships.
Thank you, Fr. Mike. Really excellent video. Lesson here is not to live life in a hurry & to have friendships that are meaningful, and not just a distraction. God bless.
I just realized. I'm distracting myself from loneliness.
Wow, that was a real good looking priest.😍 Very kind and wise too.
I've had small groups at church that I would coin "pleasant" friendships, and my work life has friendships that end as soon as my work is done. Virtuous friendships make me nervous and flustered.
I have found that the Busier I am, the less Lonely I feel. I don't want too much time to think..that leads to rumination, anxiety and depression. For me it works----to be Busy (mentally & physically) doing Quality things with decent people. It doesn't have to be really close, intimate things.....Just Don't isolate.
Dude. Once again you're right on target. Thank you.
I moved to the US around a year and a half ago, before that I was attending college back in my home country and I had the bless to live at a students house administrated by a catholic organization. I met incredible people and I made good virtuous friendships. Despite the physical distance we are close on prayer, we still in communication (thanks technology!) and their advice are key for me. However I’d like to meet more people my age soon to make virtuous friendships. Praying for that!
I like the idea of virtuous friendships. When explained this makes so much sense !! Do you need virtuous friendships outside of growing closer to God ?
The friend you choose not to have today is an enemy you won't have to fight tomorrow.
Making and keeping friends is very difficult for autistic people, like me and my sister. Without a common context or a potential friend who is a very good listener or who understands how autistic people communicate differently and interpret others' communications, body language, figurative speech differently it can be near impossible to maintain friendship.
I am blessed to have some very good friends who understand my challenges.
I’m so happy I found this channel. I literally have been a binge with your videos. Thank you.
I have all sorts of acquaintances but nary a person who I could relate with. Most guys have "hobby" friends but Im not into motorcycles, cars, hunting, fishing, sports. Im 66 years old and I have yet to find a buddy who I resonate with in a more fulfilling way. Though there have been times where I find a possibility but my invitations to hang out have been spurned. I did come to find out that only 10% of us guys have such meaningful relationship so Im not alone being alone (pardon the pun.) The quest continues......
That is a sign of BPD.
Borderline personality disorder.
@Debbie F. pointing out a trait is not a diagnosis . Further BPD is nothing to be ashamed of . Finding help begins with being mindful of our opportunities. . *god loves you
Concerned Citizen I'm a therapist, don't listen to Chance Whistler, the description you gave of yourself does not fit the diagnoses of borderline personality disorder. I find that inherent in how most societies function now (many things done on line instead of in person) many people find themselves without alot of friends & sometimes no friends by the time they are adults. It just takes more time & attempts to meet people now than it used to 10 or 20 years ago. The best way to make friends is to know yourself well, e.g. what is important to you in your life? (Like you said, most guys have hobbies.) What do you like to do? (Reading, going for walks, gardening, going for coffee etc). Connect with places where those things take place & strike up a conversation with people. In the conversation do 2 things: listen to what the other person has to say so you can see what kind of person they are, & also share yourself with them so they can see what kind of person you are. Do you like being around Christians? Take a class at a Christian university (there are many mature students at universities), ask your priest if there is a place you could volunteer where other volunteers might be in your age range. The thing is to just keep trying to meet people. It was so much easier 10 years ago, I wish we could go back to those times, but we can't. So just keep at it.
@@caryulmer5578 seeing a psychiatrist is far more accurate in a diagnosis than a therapist. I got my diagnosis after stating the same words this man posted.
Please also note i did not diagnose the condition but rather stated he had a trait. To have bpd you need more than one.
As a health care provider you should know that. Please read carefully what i stated first, it was not a provocation but an opinion from inside the diagnosis.
@@chanceDdog2009 ADD, BPD, Aspergers, etc... all hogwash, how many Saints would have been diagnosed with ''mental illness''? Having said that, and on a personal note, I have many interests myself, including cars, engines, gardening, sports, weightlifting, but not many people like to hang out with me. I meet somebody once or twice and never hear from them again, or they are suddenly unavailable forever. I'm probably not very good with people, I'm a quiet and honest guy, but I think these ''traits'' as you put it, do not equal conditions, but are nuances of the Big Five (perhaps the nearest to a quasi-scientific approach to personality) . I'm trained as an M.D and I think psychiatry as a profession should cease to exist, and we could transfer schizophrenic, autistic, patients to Neurologists. On an ending note, God hasn't made man for society, but we are mainly made for Himself, instead of therapy, men should work on his vices and sins and develop virtue.
As an introvert, my family and church associations fullfill my needs more than adequately.
Yep I agree, must be near family! They love you more than most ever will.
Shelly Clark, sometimes families are broken and it’s best to back off so you don’t get drawn in to all the drama and end up needing constant confession.
@@2021-j2d Believe me I know all about broken families & drama. I agree about the possibility of needing confession multiple times, so Im very greatful for that sacrament! Im learning that running away doesn't help solve anything. Mercy & forgiveness helps if we swallow our pride! Of course physical & verbal abuse shouldn't be tolerated.
I agree. My parents truly loved me.RIP
Not always true. My parents want nothing to do with me.
Dogs will love you more
Father, you are a wonderful spiritual teacher
You can feel extremely lonely, even if you're surrounded by many kind souls, when you're the only one that is a Christian -_-
@@Arisewithanya It's even harder when they're family, because unlike friends, you can't decide to leave them if they become too toxic. You cry because it's like knowing they have cancer and pray with all your heart for them because you don't know what else to do after exhausting all efforts to convince them God is real and that He loves them.
If you have family that are atheists it have fallen away from the faith and want to convert them, do some research on the Green Scapular and it's miraculous conversions, then buy a few and them blessed.
@John Coffey Thank you! God Bless you!
In a case like this, it is better to be alone
Actually my life right now
Thank you Father Mike Schmitz
Loneliness is sad and unfortunate. Unfortunately, I know several adults who live alone and are lonely, but don't make an effort to make more than 1 friend or only associate with relatives.
Nice pfp☺️
I struggle with friendships too all because I’ve moved away.
Thank you Father for the help! Much needed
I come from a family of 6 siblings 3 males and 3 females (in pairs ☺️) out of the 6 the youngest of the boys and the youngest of the girls (myself) tend to stay closest to our parents and look for a home as close to them as possible. My adulthood is not measured by the distance between me and my family. My husband is an amazing man who doesn’t mind how close I am to my family, and he himself looks after my parents as if his own.
Well done Fr Mike I pray for more men like you for the priesthood, I never had the mental fortitude to make the leap for many reasons...
When I need them, they disappear
I experienced the same thing. Made the crisis in my life seem unbearable without my friends. But then I realized two things. First of all, my friends have problems too. Second of all, when I am in crisis mode I go running to Jesus. No one on earth can help me like Jesus does.
I was very popular in HIgh School and my dad said show me your right hand. When you get older you won't have as many friends as your 5 fingers. He was right!
I don't trust people anymore. They make fun with you when you're not around. They make fake roumors about you which is not real.
Never trust anyone. There could be worst things happening than the one you mentioned.
Thank you Father Mike, as always, I am grateful for your words.
I haven't felt lonely due to the Eucharist. But love your talks Fr Mike !
I love the way Father Mike makes you think and his way of explaining things is spot on! Funny too!❤️
People don't have friends because the world is broken
Pieces can still come together.
@@LostArchivist That is just an illusion, humanity is flaud, broken, abortions, people break the world instead of fixing it, so there is no hope
@@sunbrah How can you say there is no hope when God IS hope? Do not wait for the world to change, Do not hope in man for anything, but hope in God and pray that he changes us. The world is terrible; it lives without God. That's why all of these evil things are happening.
@@sunbrah when we truly take time to look at how the world really is, we see how dark sinful and godless it is. And thinking about it is sad and depressing; but if this affects us, imagine what God feels; his children are living as if they don't need or want him. The world has no love for God. Hope in God and console him with your love for him. The loss of souls plunges him.
There's always hope - in the world to come, if not this current one. Can't come quick enough, in my book. (Well, you know what I mean - not trying to tell God how to do His job, but I am looking forward with hope.)
Thanks Father Mike ❤
Just wanted to comment about the point about living together with parents and family. I am from India, and in India and indeed the rest of Asia, its completely normal for us to live with or close to our parents even after marriage. I don't know why it isn't so in the West...
I'm from the Philippines and I live with my parents. I think Asia is more community/family centric whereas the West is more individual centric where they value doing everything by yourself without relying on anyone, family, friends, Church, community, etc.
Good for you and you save $$ n free food!
I wanted to say the same thing Arnold (Goan?). I believe the current prevailing culture in the west has been created by bright minds (read dark minds, as has been given in d bible, somewhere : worldly minds r clever in the ways of the world) to encourage consumerism, materialism (santa claus remember? to distract u frm Jesus? Christmas is alll abt buying gifts in d west but thats another topic), breed selfishness, create strong money flow in d market as money lying in ur account is not of much use to them, help bankers as ur perenially in a state of debt and make it more difficult to spend more time wt ur family as u're too busy wrking 2 jobs to pay off one loan or another.
Expl: When a semi mature 18 yr old CHILD leaves home, he doesnt have healthy savings in his account. Already he will begin his new life in debt. Or hand to mouth existence. Come pay, go pay as the major junk of it will get spent on rent and cooking ur own food or ordering take out which is even more expensive as most youngsters these days cant cook. Theres no time to make deeper healthier friendships as you're too busy just trying to survive, not live well. like a hamster on a wheel.
When you live wt family, you have a strong, secure foundation to build your future on. U' re financially more secure. Ur parents r always there to guide u by ur side wn u falter. U contribute 4 d daily expenses but ultimtely save on housing, furnishing, transport, major electronic gadgets like laundry machines, kitchen morgue( fridge), electricity bills, gas etc etc. Ur kids r safe n well looked after wt d most essential ingredient no babysitter can give: love, of their grandparents. U save on babysitting expenses. Wn ur sick theres always someone to care 4 u n ur little family. U get nutritious home cooked wholesome meals if u're not able to drum up something on ur own as u're too busy wt wrk. U're healthy. Ur kids r healthy. U r never lonely. Ur elderly parents r not lonely. They meet ur needs. U meet theirs.U save on old age care home expenses. Ur kids learn n benefit frm their wisdom. Ur parents can teach ur kids soo much. Hence a better future 4 them. U have each other. Hence less trips to d psychiatrist/psychologist. Saving there. All this leads to a healthy bank account. Good for mental health. U can use that to pay 4 ur kids' college, effortlessly. U dont feel lonely. U are loved. U love them in return. U have more time to socialise n make friends. A win all the way. Man is a social animal. We were never meant to go it alone.
This is what I find unappealing abt western society. I've seen 1st hand on a month long visit to Canada relatives living in rich homes but lonely n depressed and always concerned abt money tho they had well paying white collar jobs in d oil industry. I dont mind sharing this but its why I dont accept proposals frm even d most well educated, well paid boys in d Uk, US or Canada. I dont wish to relocate to any land where d laws nd culture of that land work against the family unit. Greater chance of your children, your treasures, going astray. No offense. Just stating my thoughts. Also, can anyone explain to me why babies are placed in a crib in another room in d west? Perhaps thats why children grow up wt complexes n various other problems.Babies need to bond n feel safe. They need emotional connection. There must be some psychological benefits to that. Its what has always been done for ages.
@@melissafeds1344 yes I am Goan. What abt u? V interesting reply of urs! I fully agree with you!
@@dellchica2373 Haha...its not about free food. We all contribute equally as a family to the living costs :)
Yes different kinds of friendships, and also different stages of our life.
We probably drift in and out of all. During my work years I was always busy to occupy
my time
but as a retiree, I feel a tad lonely.
So impossible to meet people being so nervous. Stuck on the outside looking in at others in their groups really can play with one's head.
They are just as vulnerable and nervous, we all are. Trust in using what God has given you. Share the unique gift of yourself to others. There may be rejection, there may be pain, there will be hardships, but it is all part of the journey and the ride of life. You will have those things regardless, why not endure with others?
@@LostArchivist I'm just absolutely terrified to start conversation. I just wait for others to say something first. So I can know if anyone is interested.
Join a group pal? Start on line and make friends.
@@valward8195 I wouldn't even know where to start. Plus I don't think I'd get any replies.
Hey I'm a lot like you but more so when I was younger in school. I was terrified of people and wanted to hide, I still am like that today. But more because I'm an introvert and big groups tire me after a year or so and I need to recoup. Anyway, pls pm me, we can talk about anything. Don't be afraid, we're both online and anonymous!
Listening to that last part really struck me. I thought I had a lasting friendship with somebody, but it was really just a useful friendship. We were on the same political side, then things changed. Then I changed. And we never got to meet in person. That’s why that friendship never really took off. Thank you so much Father, these videos are really helpful.
"I don't have friends I have family" by blood or by Heart all you need is family.
Unless your family is evil.
@@thunder9539 hence "by heart"
@@wolfsden6479 Yes I understand now. My biological family where true evil, all of them had Narcissistis Personality Disorder and most of them where Satanists.
@@thunder9539 all good, bro. Hope your doing well.
@@wolfsden6479 As well as possible. Spent many years in therapy, remembering everything.
Father Mike....You have helped me understand my life and relationships in 1 video. You define relationships cleary. Again...Brilliant. 🙏💙
I have my husband, who is my friend. I have a best friend who I have known for over 20 years. I know I have to give as much as I get.
My wife's my bestest friend.😂
You are pretty lucky
You are amazing!! I've been saying this for a while. People think I'm crazy but you can't have friends if you don't make time or even a marriage. Don't be delusional. Talking physical time not texting just a phone true friends make the time for coffee a hike etc.
Jesus is my only friend. I don't mind. At least, I'm in good company ♥
Amen ❤🙏🙏🙏
Likewise... Amen n Amen🙏
I feel the most happy and satisfied when I'm alone, and I have a loving family and people who want to be my friends.
3:06 Three Kinds of Friendships
1) Pleasant
2) Useful (Coworkers, Peers)
Flimsy and Fleeting (Good Times And circumstance
6:40
3) Virtuous Friendship (Racing after Christ. Pursuit of Virtue. The Good)
8:20 Number 1 Ingredient for friendship: *Time*
+J.M.J.+ Jesus, I Trust in you!
Fr. Mike, this was an amazing talk! I really enjoy your short talks they are Christ centered and help a person grow in holiness and makes one think! Keep up the awesome job!
God Bless,
Rose