10 Bad Habits to Break for a Calm and Peaceful Life
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- Опубликовано: 9 июл 2024
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🌱 @Kyraann. Kyra Ann's video: • 10 Bad habits to break...
Let's talk about habits! In today's video, I share 10 bad habits to break for a calm and peaceful life.
Lots of love,
🌼 Vera
VIDEO CHAPTERS
Intro 0:00
Not feeling your feelings 1:06
Squirrel days 4:06
Mindless scrolling 5:50
Self-improvement vs self-acceptance 7:03
Constant distraction 8:41
Talking vs listening 10:19
Playing the victim 11:59
Self-worth 14:26
Not wanting the best for yourself 16:20
Forgetting gratitude 18:19
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Хобби
Do you ever have squirrel days? 😁🐿
I loved your NIKSEN video first and that's where I started listening to you. Today was the squirrel day for me when I was constantly working to avoid talking to my real self and mask it with multi- tasking. Your videos are a treat to soul.
I do and I find that is usually my nervous system being overstimulated. I even knock into things as I’m physically out of balance as well as mentally. Breathing is something I would appreciate a video on, and how it can bring you calmness. ❤
OMG, yes! Those are the day I might notice my tongue, lol. I laughed so hard when you mentioned that at the end of the video; it was totally a laugh of recognition.
YES, definitely. I have days where there's just so much to do and I end up running around in a disorganised, stressed out mess. Love the squirrel image! Sometimes I feel like I'm being like a squirrel moving the nut from tree to tree, instead of slowing down and getting the nut to the right tree and into the right stash in the first place. Exhausting.
No but I’ll start
Vera, not only is your content deep, meaningful, and inspiring, but your scenes with water, breeze blowing through the leaves, and swans, birds and squirrels,(plus not forgetting that sleeping cat!) is like a mini vacation and brings me so much peace. Thank you. ❤️
I was also going to comment on this! Vera always includes such beautiful footage.
Aw thank you both!! Those images are both for my viewers to be able to relax, as well as for myself to relax while I'm editing hahaha.
I just noticed how relaxing your videos are. No crazy camera movements, no flashy lights, no epic text effects. Just good chill content and relaxing nature scenery. Truly unique. Thank you!
Yes, they help me relax so much. I really appreciate them
Totally agree!
I’d like to see a video discussing feeling my feelings because I have always suppressed my emotions and it’s been a very unhealthy habit that I don’t know how to break
I fight my bad feelings all the time and it just makes everything worse. I would appreciate a whole video on this.
It s ok to have bad feelings, if it doesn t work it doesn t work.
Me, too, please❤
Therapy helps
@@Sunnydays484 I haven’t found a good therapist and it’s expensive to keep shopping around.
Thanks for the reminders - I don't need to keep / wear holey clothes!! I just paused the video to go and sort through a drawer and remove damaged items. I can afford and am worthy of clothes without holes in them! It sounds so simple, but there are such deep messages about self worth in there. Thank you :)
And at the same time, don't chastise yourself for having kept them. It may be a frugality urge from a childhood experience that gives you the instinct to preserve. Instead, I hope you congratulate yourself for overcoming the instinct and letting go of the item that has served you and is past due to be discarded.
Number 6: breaking the habit of talking more than listening is such a great point! There's a brilliant book called: "You're Not Listening" by Kate Murphy which explores this idea perfectly. I highly recommend it!
The bad habit I am working on right now is to stop getting involved into gossiping about others.. it just happens sometimes with colleauges or neighbors, but I want to work on it and dont get drawn into it anymore.. just keeps myself happier as well.
Me2! Even when I don't want to gossip, it seems I'm sucked in😢
Totally agreed! And a lot of times im Like whoaa how did I get drawn into this? I dont want to be this kind of person anymore ... and the hardest realization for me was that if im not gossiping with some people, we háve nothing to talk about anymore 😢
Good point !
Success doesn’t manifest by itself, you have to chase it.
Love your hair absolutely beautiful💖. And the floral dress looks gorgeous on you. Very soft and feminine. Also very informative video. Thank you!
Aw thank you! 🤗🌷 Also happy to hear you enjoyed the information. 😊 Have a great day!
Bad habits I'm working on: 1) binge watching series (house declutterring journeys haha) after dinner until it is very late. 2) mindlessly doomscrolling through real estate listings when I'm not planning to buy anytime soon (although I want to). 3) procastinating projects when working from home. Thank you for this video, I'll be working on them this month.
Thank you 💜 You brought up some really good points here that resonate with me deeply.
About having difficulty feeling gratitude when you are going through the process of grief or any other overwhelming negative feeling - I struggle with this so much, because I habitually stubbornly fight to keep gratitude in my life no matter what. But what normally helps me to calm down is one of my favorite quotes:
"The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them."
Francis Ward Weller
I'm retired but I still have squirrel days! I'm working on improving my diet and implement a more effective night time routine as my sleep is not very good (I gather this is common in the post-menopausal?) I know that feeling of getting up to clean or tidy after valuing your home too! I don't have a minimalist home, but I love nice clear worktops and spaces.
Thank you so much for putting together such an informative & thought-provoking video. I especially liked your own "ah-ha" moment when you realized it's okay if not everyone likes you because you personally don't like everyone you come in contact with either, such an eye-opener for me as I find my balance...
I am trying to break my nail biting habit by reminding myself that a self-destructive response to anxiety is not helpful. I'm also working on my tendency to apologize for things that aren't my fault or responsibility, that one's challenging.
No joke, gel nail polish will help that. I used to bite nails all the time then I got gel nails done for a wedding and haven't bitten since. The gel polish will last like 4 weeks and you can get short neutral nails if that's more you're style
@@calilnalan I will try that, thank you!
The top you are wearing is one I have not seen before. It is extremely flattering, as is your hair style today. You look relaxed and peaceful.
"Enjoy the silence." Yes!!! I love early in the morning, opening the windows and just listening to the birds, the breeze in the trees or the silence if that's what is there. My husband is someone who has to have the noise, so he turns the TV on and doesn't watch it, drives me bananas.
Hahaha that's funny :) Also love the idea for enjoying silence in the mornings especially...
A lot of Americans seem to do that, at least I know quite a few… a bad habit and especially difficult if the spouse or partner doesn’t like it! Why not switch on some relaxing music instead…😂
Mam you are so beautiful ❤️
I'm learning to respect my "peaceful time" and saying no to people, this semester in college I wouldn't catch a break, even on my weekends, so my anxiety got worse (I even had to go back to my psychologist). But I'm grateful that I catch the signs and improve my life! Everyone please remember to always have a healing time for yourself 😊
I love the discussion about one third, one third, and one third. So true! ❤️
Actually, this is the only thing I've ever disagreed with Vera on! I find it hard to believe that as many as a third would dislike her! In my experience, and from my perspective some people are loved by most because they radiate love and acceptance. I see the opposite as well from folks who struggle with acceptance and love (which usually also means they find it hard to accept themselves). Unfortunately, they tend to repel many people.
I would love a video exploring the topic of feeling your feelings! I often have thoughts like "I shouldn't feel this way" or "I'm just so sensitive" and I think part of it is that I push away justified feelings that later pop up again and again because I have't given them the room they need to be properly processed.
Same here. I often feel like I'm a bad person for having any feeling that is less than positive or thankful. Especially since I'm known as a "positive person."
Waiting for the coffee, while unloading the dishwasher while heating a pot of soup and listening to a podcast? I feel seen 😂😫
I totally agree withyou about the gratitude, you wouldnt thank anyone for diarrhoea, but you could be grateful for the sink to wash your hands in, the bed to sleep in, thats how i see things, thank you for sharing Vera have a lovely week
How I wish more people would smile the way Vera smiles. That natural, warm, spontaneous, kind of smile from the eyes that makes others feel safe and welcome and good to be around.
We all have our troubles and our setbacks but let's not take it out on the world or treat other people with coldness because you feel bad.
A smile costs nothing but is worth a million dollars. What you give, you get back and I truly believe that we all have an absolute duty to make this world a better place by simply being kinder to the people we meet along the way, no matter how fleeting.
Maya Angelou said that it's not what you said that others remember about you but how you made them feel. And it is true.
@@arthurlincoln9093 Oh wow, thank you for your kind words, loved what you said about how we treat others 🤗❤️🍵
Wow Vera - in your first point you always hit the nail on the head for me. Yesterday I didn't make time to feel sadness, scrolled RUclips vids long past it feeling fun. This morning I'm feeling the emotions simmering & bubbling. I'll definitely make time to watch a show that always releases my emotions. Thank you for the reminder, it's so easy to forget when life is stressful- moving house!
Your country's govt's move hard right is as scary as the one here in the U.S. It's difficult not to "feel your feelings" with this kind of &hit going on all around you. Your videos are a nice distraction from the day's events. Thank you for them.
Thanks for being here Vera ❤️
Thanks for the wonderful video, Vera. ❤ Yes, I absolutely have squirrel days! It kind of feels like I’m getting nowhere fast. And I also experience squirrel moments where I just randomly get distracted. As a HSP it is so difficult to try to multitask or hurry because doing so really feels overwhelming/stressful.
Exactly! :) Time to slow down then :) Thanks for sharing, have a lovely day!
Squirrel days are for taking some deep breaths and drinking some water ! More usual after a not so good night's sleep !
I must say that I used to have all these bad habits, but getting older made me a lot more conscious of my life and so I changed most of them. I still can’t sit and stare at the wall but I just love to play some music at those times and completely get into the music. The main bad habits that I have are smoking cigarettes, postponing chores and not taking good care of myself where it concerns meals. So those are the things I would like to change this year and I’m working on it already for months by now without real change 😅
A video about feeling your feelings would be so so helpful!!
Dear Vera. I recognized myself in some of these habits. Thank you for talking about it, it will help me fight them.❤
One thing I am really working hard on giving up to be more calm (although not sure if it's really a habit😅) is getting upset about people talking nonsense, hurtful things and this constant need to change their mind by explaining. And what I mean by that is mostly politics/society oriented. As a member of LGBT community in Poland it is really frequent to hear people talk really nasty things, show no respect. And it made me really upset and mad. Now I try to not engage in those negative patterns and chose compassion over anger. It helps to keep my calm and I feel better as a human being ❤
I can relate. I stopped getting into it with people over that same topic.
I feel the same. I deleted Facebook to avoid being drawn in. I realize I can't be the defender of every social issue, through social media. In real life, I will engage, but online there's no point.
Thank you! I am grateful for your putting this important step-by-step insight into the world for all of us to use to find more peace in our increasingly chaotic world. You give me a reason to express GRATITUDE! ❤
You always tell me what the most important thing is for me. It’s very difficult not to do multiple tasks because I feel that I’m wasting my time. There’s a good Chinese phrase, “ to be satisfied with what you have “. I intend to forget that. I’d like to understand that I’m always have a lot and I’m happy, I don’t need to be a rush. Thanks always, Vera.
Thanks for this nice video!
Many things to think about and small changes should be done easily.
And yes, most of my days feel like squirrel days, it starts in the morning, then at work and back at home again.
Haha I just had to laugh out loud when you said "...they can like other people"!😂 The whole passage about people not needing to like you is very eye-opening and you put it in such funny words. Have a great day😊
Hey Vera! Great video as usual. I have to say the habit of gratitude is what I find most helpful and your tip on doing something to express gratitude is also very practical and something I will try do more often! Thanks for this one and have a great rest of the week! Many blessings!😊
Working on replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts thru listening to inner wisdom, meditation, gratitude journal. Its a working progress.
인생의 삶에 도움되는 팁 정말 감사합니다.
Hi Vera, I watch your videos but usually don't comment. I just wanted you to know how much peace your video brought me today. Thank you very much! Susanne ❤
Hi Vera 😊 thank you so much for your courage, kindness, and effort to bring this information to us 🩷 I have been making a lot of habit changes this year and my peace and calm has increased so much! I don't always succeed, but I keep trying, and try not to feel guilty when I fall back into old habits.
The biggest thing has been decreasing my need for constant mental stimulation (videos, audio books, phone scrolling). Just doing one thing, like washing dishes without watching a RUclips video at the same time, which is still a temptation. When I do one thing at a time, I feel such a sense of calm. I think my constant need for "noise" was a form of distraction from life stress. I am working on acknowledging the toll stress in my life takes, and making time to "recover" and rest my body and mind. So much more I could say, but all of your tips can create serious life changes! Thank you!
Gratitude changes everything!
Buying things I really dont need is my bad habit. It is getting better I have a feel good app on my phone and I have it as one of my goals for each day. It has really helped so far so if I am tempted I also think to myself buy this thing or go on my dream vacation/trip. I always choose my dream vacation/trip. I have only messed up/ bought something I dont need once. Pretty proud of myself. Hope this helps others.
I'd love the deeper video about feeling your feelings
I really liked this topic. Great use of examples. I am frying to break scrolling on RUclips so I set a timer before I start and this helps me watch my favorite subscribers and not sit there for a long time.
Not wanting the best for myself really resonated with me and doim scrolling ..2 very bad habits i struggle with.
All about gratitude!
I am greatful for you Vera! 💜
Aw thank you 🤗💕
I like how you say to stop playing the victim, it really gives you léss control, and I am often amazed at that people can be super upset about all kinds of things but are just... numb I guess about what they themselves can do about it.
And it can be in very small things, for example my colleque said 'my dad is Portugese I wished my parents raised me bilingual and taught me Portugese when I was a kid.' And I was thinking, you can also just say: 'i want to learn Portugese so I am gonne take lessons.'
That way yóu have the control, you dont have to feel bad or dissapointed in the parents for not learning you Portugese, but you can feel happy that you can learn a new language.
Ofcourse this is a small simple example, but its just to show how you can look at things. 🙏
I just discovered you and your wonderful channel a few days ago and I’m happily binge watching your previous videos. Your authenticity and kind soul jump right through the screen, Vera. Sending you summer greetings from San Francisco!
Great video! I am getting into the habit of doing one thing at a time. It was so much better to give my full attention to the video.
Wonderful, good for you!! 🤗 Have a lovely rest of your day 🌷
Hi Vera, I would love a video on feeling your feelings!
Showing gratitude (no. 10) by leaving this comment. Thank you very relatable 😊
My bad habit is thinking I have to give to others more than myself. Thinking I need to balance their needs over my own. I'm starting to believe more that i am worth the effort to eat what I want and need for my body not just what everyone else is eating in my home.
“ I don’t like everybody ….. and everybody don’t have to like me ….. “
# 9 “ I’m worth it ! “
Excellent
Vera, ALL of these topics were good and your perspective was refreshing, particularly #7; said with love and wisdom.
Yay, happy to hear it!! Thanks Viki 🤗🌷🌱 Hope you're doing well and having a nice day so far!
I love having deeper conversations but then people tell me that I am "too much" - whoops. It has not happened as much in the past five years as about 10 years ago, but I really do love learning about people deeply and having connections with them.
A bad habit I am breaking now is to not beat myself up so much about my postpartum weight with my last child I had a year ago, even though I was skinny my entire life otherwise even after my other kids. . .and that I need to be patient with myself and love where I am right now. My mom reminded me that I have always lived a healthy lifestyle and work hard to achieve my goals, so I will get back to my normal self in time.
Excellent video! I've been a subscriber for around 2 years now - now and again i go back to your videos for inspiration. I do admire the way you choose to live - it's very inspiring and seems very calming. I'm in a point in my life right now that i feel i need to do a lot of things, for work, self-improvement, and financial reasons. Taking note of your insights, i hope that i can slowly implement them in my life.
Thank you for this video, as always I appreciate your words and your voice always manages to soothe me :) The 9th point made me laugh simply because I'm right in it: my socks full of holes that I continue to wear while pushing my partner to buy new things for him by telling him "you deserve to wear new things, treat yourself" XD You know what, I deserve it too so my goal for the week will be to go buy socks and not the first ones that come along, not the ones that I like and that I will enjoy wearing ^^ Have a good day Vera :)
I found you and my feelings were of relief and I felt like crying because I felt seen or I recognized myself. (?).
Thank you for these wonderful tips on living a more balanced and peaceful life. Wonderful reminders. Especially like the reminder of feeling your feelings..and taking time to sit back and not try to cover it up or numb it. So enjoying your videos.
You're so wise beyond your years. Thank you 🙏
Hi Vera, I can relate to #1 for sure, especially lately because I was diagnosed with cancer (early stage) but it’s been 2 months and I still am trying to process it, it’s hard to believe & accept. I still haven’t had a good cry, I’m just going through the motions to try healing myself mostly holistically but I know it isn’t good to suppress feelings because at the end of the day your body is holding in all of that stress instead of just releasing it, I’m not sure if it’s a defensive mechanism to not fall apart and just get on with business and do what you have to do or if it means having a good cry makes it official. I know others mentioned about having a video on this topic and I would love one ❣️I am reading a book by James Clear called “Atomic Habits”, retraining your bad habits 1% at a time, this is so valuable for many of these topics that you discussed and really everything, I also bought the workbook because it just cements the ideas that you can work on. This was an excellent video with so much practical information 😍
Hi Vera, thank you for this video. I liked what you said about how not everyone will like you the same way you don't like everyone you come across. It's something I struggle with for sure but still working on it 😌 one bad habit I am trying to break at the moment is mindlessly scrolling as it has become really bad lately, so social media has now been deleted. Thank you 🙏
Thanks for this inspiring video. I don’t mean to seem superficial, but your hair looks so beautiful. 😀 I’m glad you are leaning in to your natural curl and that you found great products. 😊
LOVE your list. The points I relate to the most at this time are feeling feelings and more listening. I'm working on being more honest with myself and with others about my feelings. The second, I'm working on listening more and not necessarily sharing my own experience, trying to relate to the other person. Also interesting to observe others with these two, express feelings and how well they listen.
Thank you so much for this video! Love your calm personality. :-)
Thanks! Your video is a much needed break for me - and great reminders. I've been pulled in a direction lately that has given me a lot of squirrel days. I'm working on trying to get closer to more balance in my life again. take care
I always feel inspired after watching your videos Vera. Thank you and God bless.
The reminders are deep and on point! I'm starting to look at life a bit different now. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Vera!😊
This video is right on time. Just what I needed. Thanks for sharing! 💚
Great tips!! Love your look today❤
Aw thank you! :) Have a lovely day!
Love your videos!
The 1/3 piece is great! We don't like everyone, everyone doesn't have to like us :)
So good to see you, Vera! ♡
Thanks for this video!
Oh Vera posted ❤can’t wait to watch it’s really lovely and valuable content
I do enjoy your videos a lot and it’s helping me to apply minimalism on a daily basis as well as be proud I’m highly sensitive
Also I finally know how to explain it to others
Lots of love 🥰
Aw that's amazing, reading that makes me very happy 🤗💕
I am working on not criticising myself.. I keep telling myself how amazing I am doing now and also have done so far.. still have a long way to go to break this habit..
Loved the video btw❤️
Thank you so much Vera. I never heard of Squirrels day but I guess I'm guilty of that. Doing different things at the same time. ❤❤
Vera, your hair's looking great 😃👍🏾
I don't do squirrel days anymore. I'm all about the slow life these days.😊
Vera I really loved this video so much & as others have mentioned the nature scenes are wonderful. I have recently discovered that the words SILENT & LISTEN are both spelt with the same letters ❤
Thank you Vera for a well curated list 🤍Currently I am writing the comment from my July staycation, reffering to point 9. A great decision I made for myself after a long career transitioning process. Sending best wishes!
Oh I'm the the Queen of the Squirrels lol. Im trying to be mindful of what I'm doing as I run around trying to get things accomplished, for example even just cleaning in my home and then I'm like where did I put that 'thing' because I've just ran around like a crazy squirrel so end up backtracking to find whatever item I needed or was using.
Hahahaha queen of the squirrels, I love it 😁🐿️
Thank you Vera! ❤
Yes please. Feelings!
I love Kyra. Watched it!
Wonderful videos of the nature! Beautiful ❤ The tips soooo useful, as always!
Vera, you are beautiful! Your videos and sage advice brighten my day. 🤗
Great video, Vera! A topic I needed to listen to at this time in my life! Love your videos. ❤
Vera I agree with you 💯 thank you for verbally voicing everything I need to hear I have had a really terrible 5 weeks but my situation has been for years I’ve decided to delete most social media sites a long with many people I’m going to concentrate on what’s important to me for once in my entire life I’m busy decluttering my kitchen I’m feeling overwhelmed but every item I bin is making me feel better I’m not in a good place mentally because of narcissistic abuse but I say no more enough is enough and I intend to get my life and my house in order as much as possible I do it with a heavy heart but I’m doing it thank you for this video 🌿🌵
@@margarettownsley9500 That's amazing Margaret 👏 Way to go! Sending you a high five 🤗❤️
Another excellent video. There's elements of all these points I could incorporate into my life and I know it would make it better. I believe in gratitude too. I've also learned to to stop running around like a squirrel and rushing around. I might rush around a little bit if I'd like to get some practical things done but not so much. I'm much more patient and I do things gradually. I could also be a better listener. Ps there are so many videos about what 'to do' to have a calmer life and they all very good. This video is really great and very important because it details really well about what 'not to do'.
Thank you Vera
Love ur blog help me to prioritise my own space adore your blog sooo blesses me
You made me chuckle.
I really enjoyed this video. I particularly liked your last point about gratitude, acknowledging it and then acting on it. In the past I've kept a gratitude journal but, to be honest I found it a bit of a chore. Not that I'm saying practicing gratitude isn't important - it clearly is BUT I've always had it in my mind that writing things down that I'm grateful for was the best way to 'do it'. Keeping a gratitude journal seems to be the strategy that most wellbeing experts push. It didn't work for me so I' feel really happy that you've suggested another way to practice more mindful and meaningful gratitude for me. As I'm writing this I'm thinking about what I'm grateful for right now and it's that our old dog is doing ok, happy and healthy and enjoying his walks . Today it's perfect weather for him walking - not too hot so I'm going to take him out on an extra short walk (which he'll love) and just enjoy that time with him. Thank you for this idea.
Great points of view as usual. Thanks Vera 🌷
High quality video, so well made thoughts, wow good job Vera!
Thank you!
Wat een waardevolle video! dank je wel!❤
Keep shinning gal ❤❤❤❤
Thank you ❤
THE bad feeling I need to break is mindless scrolling and the stupid smartphoe game I started to play again after having not touched it. I started again when I felt bored, so working on that "distraction" thing is also a point I see. I love the sleeping cat scene!
And yeah, squirrel days. I know those very good, and I really need to stop multitasking, especially in the morning. I am the one who unloads the dishwasher while waiting for the waterboiler to get the water heated, AND the one who went home again after leaving for work two days in a row because she forgot her medication.
Vera, thank you for your videos❤They are amazzzzzing❤❤❤❤❤
Such good advice, thank you🥰
I love this, thank you for sharing. I have been more distracted lately with mental garbage (which is what I call them) lol I am finding ways to keep myself in check and keep my head in a more clear-headed space. I have been getting back into enjoying the silence.